The 5 Moms at the PTSA Meetings

In honor of the PTSA meetings starting up, I wanted to make a fun post.  Let me preface by saying this is strictly from my own experiences so please don't turn this into a fussy post where you take it all personally.  Without further ado.....

THE FIVE MOMS YOU FIND AT THE PTSA MEETINGS....

The Organizer:  You know this mom.  She may be the President or she may just be a super mom that has the ability to plan and execute every activity all year long (the person that SHOULD be the President of the PTSA).  She's going to be loud and proud and not let her opinion go unheard.  She's going to be on top of things all of the time.  Her kids are probably dressed to the nines every day at school and she never misses a meeting. She'll hear you out every time because she just wants the parents to get involved.  Generally these moms are friendly and light hearted but very strong willed (you have to be for some of these tasks) and a born leader.

The Bitter Wanna Be Organizer  This is the mom that is still ticked off that she didn't win the votes to be the President of the PTSA....or maybe she didn't put her hat in the running but is bitter AT the President of the PTSA because "she could do a better job."  Ironically this mom will only pick and choose her tasks but she will kick butt at every task she does, regardless of how exhausted she gets.  She can be found sitting at the back of the meeting mumbling to another bitter parent or her spouse about how she should be the one leading the meetings. (Side note:  If this mom DOES get to be President and sees how hard it is, it's humbling for her and her attitude can sometimes change for the positive).

The Super Involved Stay at Home Mom  This mom might not directly want to be involved in the staff of the PTSA but she definitely wants to help.  She's at every even helping and volunteering.  She is often the mom that uses Pinterest as her secret weapon and can create anything with a little whimsy.  She will often drive to and from meetings or help out the moms that can't make it to the meetings or events due to work.

The Barely Makes it or Comes Late Working Mom  Guilty as charged.  These moms work on schedules that either have them coming in late or leaving early so they can still make it to their job.  They want to be involved but can't always be at the events that occur during the day.  In fact, they need crazy amounts of planning in order to be able to make it there period.  Their intentions are good but their ability to be in two places at once is very evident.

and finally....

The Spectator  These are the parents that come to vote and that's about as far as their involvement goes.  It's not a bad thing.  They may join in once or twice if they get a special call from the PTSA staffers but they generally are just coming to the meetings to know what's going on in their kids' lives. 

and an added bonus..... the Absentee Ballot:  These are the parents that pay the fee, join the PTSA and then never do another thing the whole year.  Still important for paying the fees and contributing, these parents are absolutely never at any meetings or events the whole year.  It's not that they don't care about their kids, they just don't care about the PTSA and they CERTAINLY do not want to volunteer.

Again, this post is designed to be fun so have a little giggle at where you see yourself in here.  Get involved where you can when you can and support your PTSA!

The Small Arguments and the Reality

I'm going to address this post to the people that feel they MUST argue every single topic.  There are a few topics that have bubbled up over the past week/weekend that these argumentative people feel they must loudly and proudly voice their adamant rejection of.  Sadly, most of them haven't even fully read up on what's going on with these issues.  So here's the reality of many of these much-argued issues.....

The Clerk That's Asking for a BYE (essentially) on her having to issue marriage licenses to homosexual couples.  As a Christian, I understand that sometimes things that are going on publicly that you object to on a Faith based level and you have every opportunity and right to remove yourself from the situation.  Note how I phrased that....remove YOURSELF from the situation.  When you own a business, in my opinion, you have a choice to reject service as you please but you will deal with the consequences (i.e. protests, very small customer base, reputation, etc).  With that being said, if you are going to choose a government job, it is your job to do as your job dictates.  If you don't like the job, you don't get to request a religious BYE; you need to quit your job if you can't perform it at the level required.

The renaming of Mt McKinley to Denali.  First of all, I'm  not even sure I phrased that correctly since it's simply being RESTORED to the name of "Denali."  The people throwing fits over this are saying the President has more important things to focus on which may be totally true.  They're arguing it's not the President's place.  Here's the thing: The Alaskan people have been requesting this change for a very long time.  The name "McKinley" was supposed to honor the former president who never even visited the mountain.  Restoring the name "Denali" is important to the Alaskan people.

Miley Cyrus wearing practically nothing to host the VMAs First off, if you're old enough to argue her wardrobe, you probably shouldn't be torturing yourself with watching the VMAs to begin with.  Let's be realistic...they're designed for shock value. It's not good or bad, just reality.  In terms of Miley's wardrobe choices, this shouldn't be a huge shock either.  She has chosen risqué items since she was a teenager and, quite frankly, it's mostly for attention.  If you're offended, turn the channel. Realistically women that dress that risqué are like toddlers throwing a tantrum: if you ignore them long enough they'll stop and try something else.

and finally....

The father of the reporter killed on live TV is rallying for stricter gun control laws.  Look, I'm all for background checks for guns.  With that said, the things that are trying to be shoved down our throats are not only unconstitutional but they're also uneducated, in my opinion.  You can absolutely tighten background checks and pull medical records and do a million other things and criminal are STILL going to get them.  It's not a background check that will create or prevent a shooting situation.  It's a PERSON.  This was a senseless crime and my heart goes out to both families (and the community).  With that being said, this guy was a delusional asshole and, for whatever reason, he made a terrible choice and then took a very cowardly way out of it when he was about to be caught.  You see, people keep arguing he didn't have a sound mind but he clearly had a sound enough mind to know he didn't want to go to jail.  Reality is that we should be arming MORE people, in my opinion.  If a criminal knows that 90% of the people in a room are going to be armed, he's going to be FAR less likely to go in there and try to rob it.  Evidence of this?  Kennesaw, Georgia.  When the law was passed that all adults, essentially, had to have a gun in their home, their crime rate was reduced by leaps and bounds.  Chicago?  Strict gun control laws and CRAZY crime rate.  Nuff said.

Regardless of your opinion on things, just bear this in mind.  When you argue over EVERYTHING, people listen to you about NOTHING.  They roll their eyes and ignore you.  I'd rather let the small things go and have someone hear me out on the issues that matter.

National Topless Day

Apparently, yesterday was a day for women to go topless to celebrate equality for showing their breasts.  It seems to be an issue that sharply divides the masses which makes me chuckle a little.  There are so many bigger issues on the planet to be focusing on and it all comes down to boobies.  So here is my take on the whole thing....

First of all, to all the people that are so deeply upset, lighten up.  You can shelter your kids all you want but they're going to see breasts....and that's okay.  Kids see everything short of nipples on the daily in the skimpy clothes girls/women wear.  (I've preached on that before, though).  Your child will not become some sort of rampant pervert from seeing boobies.  In fact, if you don't make a big deal about it, they won't either.  Granted, preteen and teenage boys are going to stare but seriously, if you think that wouldn't happen whether the women were clothed or not, you're crazy.  Boobies are boobies are boobies.  Lighten up.

Secondly, please please please do NOT be part of the group that lumps this in with the women advocating for completely LEGAL public breast feeding without shaming.  These are completely separate issues, in my opinion.  Most nursing moms just want to be able to feed their babies.  Despite what others may preach, most nursing moms are discreet and are not lifting their shirts over their heads and/or taking off their shirts to feed their babies.  Moms that are advocating nursing are not walking around topless all day to promote nursing without shaming.  This is a complete and definitely separate issue.

Third, with all of the issues going on in this world is this really something that needs to be protested?  Probably not, in my opinion.  With that being said, to each his own.  Do I believe that there are very many woman that are just absolutely dying of heat exhaustion from having to wear a shirt? No, I don't.  Do I believe that women sometimes are just looking for something to argue about?  Yes,.....yes I do.  In my opinion, this is a trivial issue that is just a woman or a group of women looking for something to harp about.

Finally, realistically, the very same women that are protesting not being able to go topless are harping about being objectified.  Well, guess what ladies?  Men like boobies.  It's life....has been since the dawn of man.  Men like to look at boobies so if you're baring them, they're going to look at you sexually.  Period.  You can love it, hate it or anything else but it's reality and you protesting it is not going to change that.  Fair warning, if you're going to go to park and run around without your shirt, don't be mad when men crowd and gawk....that is THEIR right, their EQUAL right....see how that works? 

Honestly, I think the whole issue is ridiculous on both sides of it.  The uptight people need to lighten up on BOTH sides of this.  A booby is  booby is  booby.  Let's focus on bigger issues, folks.

Tech Age Manners

There are certain rules of courtesy that have always applied to people (at least the ones that use their manners).  Now, with the technology age in full swing, I believe there are certain NEW rules that apply, as well. 

Put Down Your Phone.  When you are with friends, family, business associates or anyone else (really), put down your phone.  You don't need to check your Facebook.  You don't need to update your Twitter account.  You need to be with the people that are right in front of you.

No Phones at the Table Okay, this has a teeny tiny catch to it...what if you're out to dinner and your kids are at home with the sitter.  In this case, I believe, it's fine to have the phone out in plain sight but that you do not answer that phone unless it is either a phone call or text FROM the sitter.  Again, don't check your Facebook page....don't tweet your meal.  Be with the people you're with.

Stop with the Vague posts already You know the guy/girl I'm talking about...everyone has one.  They post vague posts on Facebook or Twitter that have you wondering if they're suicidal or if it's a song lyric.  They post random rants about people but don't specify who they're very obviously singling out and then get angry when you ask them.  Common courtesy is to keep it simple, stupid.  Don't post vague passive aggressive posts on Facebook and then either ignore people who are concerned or get angry when people pry.

Ugly Pictures Okay we all love a good practical joke but I have a bit of an issue with people that openly post ugly pictures of others and tag them in them.  Look, it's one thing to see them and private message.  It's quite another to post it and tag people in them.  It's rude. 

Semi porno pics While we're on the topic of pictures, stop it with the semi porn, okay folks.  It's one thing to do tasteful boudoir photos and share a couple of the ones that aren't obscene.  Let's be real, though...no one wants to see you decked out in your skivvies using your bedroom eyes except your partner.  If you happen to be a hot little number posting this crap on Facebook, remember that married men are looking at it and you might well be the cause of an argument that doesn't need to take place just so you can boost your ego.  It's a courtesy....keep it off Facebook.

Don't be shady.... I'm going to be using the male pronouns  here but this applies to women too.  If you are in a relationship  of any kind, you do NOT need to be petitioning women for photos, sex talk, videos, or anything of the like.  Plain and simple, it's cheating.  Period.  Call it what you want.  It's cheating.  Stop it.

Attacking Over Opinions It's said that you don't argue over two things...politics and religion.  It's true, those present huge gaps in people's beliefs.  Reality, though, is that people are entitled to their positions.  You don't have to agree but don't attack someone on  A PERSONAL LEVEL.  If you have to sink to name calling, your argument is invalid anyway.

Post-Baiting And while we're talking about argumentative posts, if you are posting things just to cause arguments, you're being an ass.  It's one thing to post something you're passionate about.  It's another to post stuff just to watch the argument ensue.  Stop post baiting.

and finally....

Selfie control  Hey you....yeah the selfie queen who took a picture of yourself eating tortellini that was "so yummy."  Knock it off.  You're complaining about the moms who post pictures of their kids or the dog owners that post them of their dogs....yet here you are, posting a picture in the bathroom of the club like, "# Sizzlin".  Come off it.  It's one thing to shoot a selfie when you're having a great day and look nice.  It's another to shoot one after every.....single......workout.  Get some self esteem and save it for your partner, lady!

Anna Duggar....cheating.....and everything in between

Quite frankly, I feel like most celebrity gossip and headlines are malarkey.  I think that they aren't worth the read and that there are far more important issues we should be worrying about than someone's plastic surgery or which celebrity is dating who.  With that being said, I was disgusted enough recently by a headline to really get riled up because it speaks to me personally.  This headline?  Josh Duggar's wife partially blames herself for his actions on the Ashley Madison website.  Despicable.

First of all, I will say this: I have always said and continue to say that I admire the Duggars for some things.  One of these is that they are involved parents that attempt to raise their children with some values.  Look, I'm NOT saying that I agree with all of their values but with so many parents stuck to their smartphones while their kids sit in front of the TV instead of getting out and experiencing the world, I'm glad to see a family that gets out there and does something with their kids.  Parents that care enough to home school, take their kids on road trips and so on.  Are there many things I don't agree with that they do?  Absolutely.  There are a lot of parents that do things outside of the media that I don't agree with too.  Do I agree that they mishandled their son's actions in molesting his sisters?  Absolutely.  I just want to be up front about the fact that I think that a family with truly involved parents that live debt-free is something to be looked at.  This does NOT mean I support everything they do.  Just trying to state the positive before I launch into a rant.

I also want to dispute a statement I keep hearing: "Well he said he was a Christian, yet...."  Yeah, you know what?  A lot of people love to tout their Christian values and use them as an excuse to be jackasses.  This is true of MANY religions though. I don't blame all Muslims for the extremists.  I don't blame all agnostics for extremists in their community.  I don't blame all Christians for extremists either.  The definition of Christian is one that believes that Jesus is the savior and was crucified, buried and rose again.  There are many branches and, from what I've read, their family and a group of others created their own branch of the Baptist faith because Southern Baptist wasn't conservative enough for them. That's fine....it truly is.  It doesn't make all people of their faith bad nor does it make all Christians bad.  Freedom of religion is a wonderful thing....but it doesn't mean you get to break the laws or either our country or act without consequence. 

The other thing I would like to point out before I go into my opinions on his actions and her reaction is that it's none of our business.  Well that's absolutely true, to some extent.  I have always believed and will continue to believe, though, that if you choose the celebrity life, you choose the consequences.  You choose people knowing your business and you choose that they will have the right to an opinion....not to judge but to feel a certain way about it.  Their family chose to put themselves in the public eye as an exclamation of great faith.  Josh continued to put himself in the public eye by choosing an executive position with an organization that fought gay marriage.  He chose the life and he chooses that people know all about his business.

With all of that said, here is my take on the situation.....

Anna had four children in approximately (and I'm approximating here) 5 years.  Having done this myself, I can honestly say that it's exhausting.  Pregnancy is exhausting.  Having a newborn is exhausting, particularly when you're breast feeding and more particularly when you already have other children to care for while you're caring for a newborn.  Having multiple children is exhausting.  I feel for her on a personal level because I've lived that.  Her newest baby is only a month or so old and she's still dealing with her body recuperating from the birth.  I've read in multiple articles that their personal belief (within the Duggar's religious sect, so to speak) is that a woman is to be at her husband's beck and call at all times except 40 days after the birth of a boy and 80 days after the birth of a girl.  All I can think is  how exhausted she must be and how demanding that must be for her.  What high expectations are placed on the women in these circumstances.

Though everyone keeps bringing in Josh's molestation controversy here as if Anna just found out, even Anna says that she knew about that before she got married.  The controversy, of course, just bubbled up recently but she knew long before.  This Ashley Madison business is new to her.  There are some speculating that his admission of cheating is only dealing with the fact that he is addicted to pornography.  I don't believe this.  The wealth of free pornography on the internet is extensive.  If he was truly just trying to look at pornography, he wouldn't have signed up and paid a small fortune to try to have an affair.  I can't speak to whether or not he went through with it at this point but in my own belief, I think he did.  Why else would you have an ongoing account for that long using two different addresses?  Really.

All I will say about Josh Duggar is that I find the guy to be a real asshat.  While I appreciate the fact that he KIND OF owned up to his behavior and while I appreciate the fact that he seemed apologetic, and while I can appreciate that he deleted the account, he's an asshat.  If he truly felt bad for what he had done, he wouldn't have waited until this came out to apologize, he would have stopped and apologized before the hackers exposed all of the cheaters.  If he was truly apologetic, he would never let his wife feel like this was her fault....ever.  He wouldn't be phrasing this like it was someone else that made him do it.  He would accept FULL responsibility for his actions instead of standing behind a veil of religion.  If he was really concerned with deleting that account, he wouldn't have done it cloak and dagger after the molestation stuff came to light.  His religion is not some sort of shield for what he did....he chose his actions.  Where he put his genitalia and his choices leading up to that were HIS choice and no one else's.  Period.

What I'm more concerned about is Anna.  Stay at home mom of four kids 5 and under....it's a truly thankless job sometimes and having to meet the demands of their religion on top of that, I can't imagine.  The fact that she feels like she should have counseled him better or that she should have been there more is ludicrous.  I hate that she's feeling that way and I truly hope she receives some REAL counseling (and I'm not talking about the kind Josh got for molesting his sisters) to let her know that his actions are NOT her fault.  This poor girl is stuck between a rock and a hard spot.  If she allows the anger I can only hope she feels to bubble up, she's going against her religion, which is the biggest part of who she is at this point.  If she forgives him, she's essentially letting him know that it's okay to continue to do dumb stuff and she'll enable him because it's "her job."  Her broken spirit can't help the fact that she's giving him more and more power over her happiness and her life by not telling him that he is responsible for his actions...not the devil, not the media, not his religion....HE is responsible.  I hope, for her sake, that she allows herself to get angry and get it out because the build up of these emotions will only result in bad things for her on a personal level.  My prayers are not for Josh to be "cured" of his "demons"..... my prayers are for Anna and her babies.

My closing statement is pretty simple.  To partners that choose to cheat in any way, shape or form from online affair to replacing their sex life with pornography to an actual physical affair, you are a coward.  If you're unhappy with the state of your marriage, talk to your partner.  If that doesn't work, seek counseling.  If all else fails and it's a deal breaking situation, leave.  The pain and havoc you wreak on a family when you cheat is a thousand times worse than what a divorce would cause.  To the partners who are the victims of the cheater, it is NOT your fault.  You may blame yourself for contributing to an unhappy relationship (as it takes two) but you are NOT responsible for the actions that your partner chose.  If you are a victim of a cheater, allow yourself those feelings....anger, sadness, frustration.  Allow yourself to feel it. Maybe even seek counseling to get through it.  Allow yourself to fully process and then decide how you want to react but remember that it is NOT your fault.

Basic Skills to Learn Before You Move Out!

I saw a post this morning on skills/lessons you should move before you move out.  I have a few of my own to add.  Here goes....

Learn to check the tire pressure and change a tire on your car as well as check fluids and what to do if you're having car issues and need to pull over.  Don't just teach them to call AAA.  Teach your kids basic skills.  Make them try it so they understand what they're looking for. 

How to balance a check book.  While I realize that you can just keep track of your balance online, there's something to be said for teaching a kid to balance their checkbook so they can budget more efficiently.

Basic "shop" skills.  How to use a hammer, drill, saw, etc.  I'm not telling you they need to learn how to build a house from the ground up but learning basic skills to be able to hang a picture or a set of shelves would be great.

Basic "home ec" skills. Yep, folks, I think you need to learn basic sewing, cooking, etc.  It WILL come in handy down the road.

How to follow a recipe.  While this falls under the category of home ec, I felt it important to specify this as a real skill.  If they can follow a recipe, they can eat something besides boxed nastiness. 

How to do laundry  I cannot stress enough how important it is to teach your kids this.  Teach them about the temperature you wash things in and the reason you do it that way.  Teach them the proper use of bleach and the effects it has.

The importance of things like savings and insurance.  I don't think this is stressed often enough and I think a lot of kids move out and think, "oh crap!" when something happens.

How to budget.  Teach them about bills first and then needs and wants.  You will never "need" the biggest TV and not enough kids realize this anymore.

and finally....

Life isn't fair and you don't always get what you want  If there is any lesson I believe it's important to realize, this is it.  Life is NOT always fair and you are not entitled to some huge house when you turn 18 because your parents have it.  You don't always get what you want and people will be jerks.  Don't quit your job because you have an annoying boss or co worker. 

Men are NOT Inept

There is a viral video circulating currently with a Dad trying to change his baby's diaper and gagging from the odor to the point of vomiting.  Honestly, I couldn't make it through it because watching him gag actually makes me gag more than ANY diaper I've ever changed.  It occurs to me that people seem to get a kick out of making fun of dads being incredibly inept.  They seem to get a giggle from watching men struggle to deal with things like contraction-level pain, changing diapers, trying to manage more than one child and so on.  The common theme?  A lot of these men appear to be clueless when it comes to raising children.  Here's the reality, in my opinion....

Realistically, yes, there are clueless men trying to parent.  Then again, consider how many clueless women there are too.  In fact, aren't we all just a LITTLE clueless in how to handle our kids sometimes.  How much experience you have combined with how much you CHOOSE to learn about kids ultimately affects how clueless you are about your kids.  Are there men that aren't interested to learn?  Absolutely.  Are there women that do the same?  For sure.  Regardless, not all men are clueless.  In fact, they are actually pretty on top of things most of the time.

A whole lot of women like to think of men as stunted when it comes to parenting because dads aren't doing things the way that moms would do it.  There's a reason for that and, put bluntly and realistically, it hangs between their legs.  Men are men and women are women.  They think differently because that's how they were created.  They do things different because they think differently.  And ladies, even if you consider me a traitor to the gender, just because they're doing it differently doesn't mean it's not right.  He may take more or fewer steps to do something than you would but it still gets done.  They're not stunted; they're just approaching it differently.

Most of these same women seem to think it's funny to make jokes about men being clueless when it comes to being dads because it makes them feel better as a mom.  It stems back to the theory that they need to put someone else down in order to feel better.  It's not always with a mean spirit.  In fact, a lot of these women are just feeling self conscious and looking for a way to feel better.  With that being said, the direct effect of doing this is that men feel like crap and don't want to help....and then we get mad that they're not helping.  Vicious circle.

I, personally, have seen dads juggle things just as well as, if not better in some cases, than moms.  They can braid little Susie's hair, pick out clothes for school and get their lunches packed just as well as moms.  Frankly, I love seeing dads be involved.  I think it's a really great concept for kids to understand that mom may do things this way and dad may do it that way but it always gets done.  Then again, I'm an advocate for "don't teach them WHAT to think; teach them HOW to think."

I guess what it all comes down to is this:

In the country, nowadays, there are a whole lot of divorced families with dads that are parenting on their own when their kids are with them.  There are a lot of families where the mom works and the dad stays at home.  There are a lot of families where both parents work but the dad is incredibly involved.  These men are not supporting characters and their kids are benefiting from learning that Dads are on top of things too.  I'm all for some harmless laughs but let's not forget, when we're watching, that these men may gag when they change the diaper but they're still changing it.  Let's give the involved dads in this world a hand and let them know they're appreciated.

Side note:  Fellas, I DO think the labor pain video is funny.  Don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of things men have to deal with that women don't but the simulation of labor pain video nails it.  You can "get it" that we're in pain when we're in labor but watching someone truly feel it for the first time is gratifying to some small degree.