I get asked, frequently, what I do with my kids that makes them so respectful. My answer seems to confused people: half of it is dumb luck and the other half is teaching them to learn to respectfully think and do for themselves. Luck? Really? Yes.....yes, really. Some of parenting is just dumb luck. There are plenty of parents that do an incredible job and their children still rebel or end up making really poor decisions that affect the rest of their lives negatively. (Note that I did not say that they end up with bad kids.... I have a very strong opinion of people using that term). There are some parents that are completely uninvolved and still turn out with incredible kids. SOME of it is dumb luck.
The other part, I believe, is in the other half of that sentence. There are three portions of it.
1. Respect
2. Think for themselves
3. Do for themselves
I believe that respect is of the utmost important in the parenting process. I respect my children enough to allow them privacy but they also know that I am still their parent. If I need to, I will invade that privacy to make sure they stay safe. I won't feel bad about it. The other half of this pendulum is teaching THEM to respect. I am a bit old school and I believe that children need to learn to respect adults but they also need to learn to respect each other. They need to learn to accept the differences of others as a positive.
They need to learn to think for themselves. Does it get irritating at times? Of course. It would be easier some days if they would just fall into step. The problem is that they need to be thinking, learning people in their adult lives. Teaching them to blindly believe what I believe will only cripple them as adults.
They need to learn to do things themselves. I'll repeat that: they need to learn to do things themselves. I don't baby them. I teach them to thrive in the real world. They can independently do many of the things that actual adults in the world today cannot do. They are able to cook, clean, do laundry, ride the bus, make a budget and do many of the other things they will need to do in their grown life.
I'm not concluding that this is the recipe for success for every person but it works for me. Food for thought.
The other part, I believe, is in the other half of that sentence. There are three portions of it.
1. Respect
2. Think for themselves
3. Do for themselves
I believe that respect is of the utmost important in the parenting process. I respect my children enough to allow them privacy but they also know that I am still their parent. If I need to, I will invade that privacy to make sure they stay safe. I won't feel bad about it. The other half of this pendulum is teaching THEM to respect. I am a bit old school and I believe that children need to learn to respect adults but they also need to learn to respect each other. They need to learn to accept the differences of others as a positive.
They need to learn to think for themselves. Does it get irritating at times? Of course. It would be easier some days if they would just fall into step. The problem is that they need to be thinking, learning people in their adult lives. Teaching them to blindly believe what I believe will only cripple them as adults.
They need to learn to do things themselves. I'll repeat that: they need to learn to do things themselves. I don't baby them. I teach them to thrive in the real world. They can independently do many of the things that actual adults in the world today cannot do. They are able to cook, clean, do laundry, ride the bus, make a budget and do many of the other things they will need to do in their grown life.
I'm not concluding that this is the recipe for success for every person but it works for me. Food for thought.
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