A word I hate saying when it comes to things that I will or won't do is "never." The biggest reason? Saying "never" generally results in you being faced with a life choice that makes you face and do what you "never" thought you'd do. I tend to think it's God's funny sense of humor at work but everyone has their own opinion. If there is one piece of advice I will offer to new parents or newlyweds, it's always "Don't ever say 'never.'" I try not to, but I trip up occasionally.
One of the best examples I can use for this is parenting. Before I had children, I insisted that I'd NEVER "allow" my children to throw tantrums. I insisted that my children would NEVER speak to me in a disrespectful tone. I swore I'd NEVER get divorced. I swore I'd NEVER make my kids switch schools once they started elementary school. I'd NEVER, I'd NEVER, I'd NEVER..... Well, guess what? My kids did throw tantrums (even if they were fewer and farther between than alot of my friends and family had to deal with). My kids DO speak to me in a disrespectful tone sometimes (again, not as often as other kids I've seen). I got divorced AND I've moved and made my kids switch schools....All of those things I swore I'd never do, I've done. Some of them were more of a choice than others but I've done them all. I've learned lessons from each of them and I've definitely learned tolerance and acceptance that you should walk in someone's shoes before judging them.
Recently, I was faced with something that I swore I'd NEVER deal with. Without getting into details, I can honestly just say that it's a big issue that alot of people pass judgement on, me included. It's something I always swore I'd never be tolerant of...and then I was faced with it. Ironically, to me, God has laid on my heart a heavy heart of forgiveness even before I was officially faced with knowing all the facts. Forgiveness doesn't mean that I've just forgotten about it or that I'm turning a blind eye toward it. In fact, it means quite the opposite. It means that I know everything about it and I'm choosing to allow God to handle it. It means that I've made firm decisions on dealing with this problem again but that I also understand that things happen and that sometimes life throws you curve balls. What am I hoping to accomplish through this? I'm hoping that I'm leading by example to all of those around me and that they see that forgiveness (even on big issues) can be achieved. I'm hoping that this will prove to God that I have both of my feet on the ground and that I listen when He speaks, even if it's something difficult. I'm hoping that I prove to myself that I'm stronger than I think I am sometimes. I'm hoping that it teaches my children that even though my top priority is them (protecting them, nurturing them, etc), there are some life experiences that happen and that just plain suck; yet, they'll still make it through them and learn from them. My hope, my prayer is that I never again face this type of situation and that none of my friends and family do either. My hope and prayer is that I'm right to exercise forgiveness here and that it becomes a reward in the long run, instead of a curse. My heart is open and I'm eager to see what life has in store for me in the future. Hopefully it's some good karma :)
