TBT.....awwww look how little!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Candy, Candy, Candy
There are so many options available now for getting Halloween candy. I love the fact that there are ways for people to get out and enjoy the "holiday" without having to go the traditional route. Locally, here are some of the best....
Trunk or Treats I see a host of churches having Trunk or Treat celebrations. These are a fantastic source of safety. You walk from car to car with the kids and trick or treat in a parking lot. There are a whole lot of very creative people who come up with incredible concepts for their trunks. It's very cool.
Trick or Treat Street. These are often at high schools locally. In fact, we just attended one last night. These are a great way to enjoy trick or treating but also to support your local community. I'm partial to this as my daughter spend time with her extra curricular group taking part in their trick or treat street. The kids come up with great "booths" and they love being able to hand out candy. It's a safe environment for you to enjoy some time with your kids and still get to trick or treat.
Malls, etc trick or treat Several of the local malls and shopping centers host a trick or treat celebration before or on Halloween. These are a great opportunity to get trick or treating done. I'm generally not a huge fan of these for the sole reason that I am not a huge fan of malls but they are a great option.
Fall Festivals Maybe you don't want to actively trick or treat at all and, instead, you'd like to give your kids a taste of the season without making it into a "thing." Fall Festivals are a great option for face painting, games, and other prizes without the overflowing bag of candy coming out of it.
Trick or Treating on Halloween Whether you drive your kids from house to house or just walk it with them, trick or treating is always a fun way for kids to get to experience the fun. I'm an advocate of walking it, personally, and making them work for their candy. That said, I understand how ugh that can be.
Whatever method you choose, be safe and have a great Halloween.
Trunk or Treats I see a host of churches having Trunk or Treat celebrations. These are a fantastic source of safety. You walk from car to car with the kids and trick or treat in a parking lot. There are a whole lot of very creative people who come up with incredible concepts for their trunks. It's very cool.
Trick or Treat Street. These are often at high schools locally. In fact, we just attended one last night. These are a great way to enjoy trick or treating but also to support your local community. I'm partial to this as my daughter spend time with her extra curricular group taking part in their trick or treat street. The kids come up with great "booths" and they love being able to hand out candy. It's a safe environment for you to enjoy some time with your kids and still get to trick or treat.
Malls, etc trick or treat Several of the local malls and shopping centers host a trick or treat celebration before or on Halloween. These are a great opportunity to get trick or treating done. I'm generally not a huge fan of these for the sole reason that I am not a huge fan of malls but they are a great option.
Fall Festivals Maybe you don't want to actively trick or treat at all and, instead, you'd like to give your kids a taste of the season without making it into a "thing." Fall Festivals are a great option for face painting, games, and other prizes without the overflowing bag of candy coming out of it.
Trick or Treating on Halloween Whether you drive your kids from house to house or just walk it with them, trick or treating is always a fun way for kids to get to experience the fun. I'm an advocate of walking it, personally, and making them work for their candy. That said, I understand how ugh that can be.
Whatever method you choose, be safe and have a great Halloween.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Divorce Sucks
This is going to be a short but sweet post and it's got a very specific audience: divorced moms. I will preface by saying that I'm part of this group. I will also say that I'm not trying to pass judgment. Instead, I'm trying to give you a helpful tidbit of advice. Here goes....
Dear Divorced Mom:
Divorce is hard. It doesn't matter what the cause or how hard the process was; it sucks. If you suffered through your spouse cheating, I'm so sorry for you. If you were the cheater, I'm even more sorry because you will spend the rest of your life worried that your future significant others will cheat. If there was abuse, good for you for getting out. If you claimed abuse just to give your ex a bad name, shame on you. The point is that there are a million reasons for a divorce, including irreconcilable differences. Whatever the reason is, it happened and I'm sorry you had to go through the process because it's hard no matter what. No matter how much we try to make light of it, it sucks.
Here's the point I want to get across to you....It's not about you. It's about your kids. Let's be honest: it's easy to focus your attention on your hurt. It's easy to be selfish and just focus on your hurt. It's easy to be angry and want to rally the troops. Those things are easy. You're better than that. If you need counseling, go through counseling. If you need to just talk it out with your close friends, do it. If you need to sort through it yourself, sort through it. Stop bringing your kids down. If your ex is paying his child support, don't tell your kids how broke you are because of him. If your ex is trying to spend time with him, understand that his rules may be different than yours but he's doing the best he can. If your ex is making the effort to be a good dad, be thankful; not every guys does this. Focus your attention on making your kids' lives the best lives possible and that means not dealing with the bickering BS you're putting out there.
Sincerely,
A Divorced Mom Who's Sick of BS
(Before I get posts a go-go...yes, I realize this isn't every divorced mom and yes I realize divorced dads can be guilty too. The point of this is to look inward and see what you're doing and if it's benefiting your child)
Dear Divorced Mom:
Divorce is hard. It doesn't matter what the cause or how hard the process was; it sucks. If you suffered through your spouse cheating, I'm so sorry for you. If you were the cheater, I'm even more sorry because you will spend the rest of your life worried that your future significant others will cheat. If there was abuse, good for you for getting out. If you claimed abuse just to give your ex a bad name, shame on you. The point is that there are a million reasons for a divorce, including irreconcilable differences. Whatever the reason is, it happened and I'm sorry you had to go through the process because it's hard no matter what. No matter how much we try to make light of it, it sucks.
Here's the point I want to get across to you....It's not about you. It's about your kids. Let's be honest: it's easy to focus your attention on your hurt. It's easy to be selfish and just focus on your hurt. It's easy to be angry and want to rally the troops. Those things are easy. You're better than that. If you need counseling, go through counseling. If you need to just talk it out with your close friends, do it. If you need to sort through it yourself, sort through it. Stop bringing your kids down. If your ex is paying his child support, don't tell your kids how broke you are because of him. If your ex is trying to spend time with him, understand that his rules may be different than yours but he's doing the best he can. If your ex is making the effort to be a good dad, be thankful; not every guys does this. Focus your attention on making your kids' lives the best lives possible and that means not dealing with the bickering BS you're putting out there.
Sincerely,
A Divorced Mom Who's Sick of BS
(Before I get posts a go-go...yes, I realize this isn't every divorced mom and yes I realize divorced dads can be guilty too. The point of this is to look inward and see what you're doing and if it's benefiting your child)
Monday, October 26, 2015
Birthday Party Host Etiquette
Apologies for a long break. My body decided to go into shut down mode and give me a massive double ear infection and sinusitis. Good news is that I was up and at em in a couple of days. Bad news is those couple of days were awful. So what have I been contemplating over the .past few days? Birthday party host etiquette.
There seem to be parents that either didn't learn birthday party etiquette (as the host) or choose not to partake in it. Unfortunately, this doesn't just create chaos for the host themselves. It creates chaos for the other parents as well. For some, it is unintentional or just lack of experience. For others, it is a conscious choice and to those parents, I say, "you sir/madam are a turd." If you're fortunate enough to gain the experience in your child's early years when parents stay at the party, fantastic. If not, here are some tips, tricks and rules of etiquette for birthday parties.
Make it clear if you expect the parents to stay. Parents of younger school aged kids often aren't sure if they're expected to stay at a party or not. Be honest. If you just can't handle that many kids on your own and supervise them well, make the invitation say "You and your child are invited to...." or something of the like. An extra pair of eyes never hurt anyone.
Be realistic about the number of kids you invite. While I absolutely love the idea of inviting everyone from your child's class, understand that your child will likely not be able to socialize with every kid the whole time. You're likely to end up with some kids feeling left out and that's no fun for them OR their parents so if you're inviting a large group of kids, make certain you have activities planned that include EVERYONE. If you're letting your child be more selective, be realistic about how many kids you invite. If you have a small house or can't handle a lot of noise, don't invite 12 teenage girls over to drive you crazy the whole night. Your stress level is directly related to how much fun the kids that are over have.
Be specific on time. You may be tempted to say, "Whatever time you get here is fine." Don't say that unless you truly know your ability to handle chaos. If there is any chance you're going to be pulling your hair out after a couple of hours of party, you need to be clear and not feel bad about being firm on timing. Sleepovers, specifically, can produce problems. The other side of this is that if you specify a time, stick to it. Don't expect parents to be there early and don't send kids home (even if they're in walking distance) early.
Lay down the rules early on and then give them space to play. Let everyone know the rules at the start and them let them loose. You're going to have to expect to remind them a few times but if they know the rules ahead of time, it will be easier to contain their behavior.
and finally....
Don't over plan You can plan a million activities and you'll get aggravated at how much the kids can blow them off because they just...want....to....play. They don't need a billion activities, just one or two. Don't micro manage. Just let them hang out and you'll be much happier as a host.
There seem to be parents that either didn't learn birthday party etiquette (as the host) or choose not to partake in it. Unfortunately, this doesn't just create chaos for the host themselves. It creates chaos for the other parents as well. For some, it is unintentional or just lack of experience. For others, it is a conscious choice and to those parents, I say, "you sir/madam are a turd." If you're fortunate enough to gain the experience in your child's early years when parents stay at the party, fantastic. If not, here are some tips, tricks and rules of etiquette for birthday parties.
Make it clear if you expect the parents to stay. Parents of younger school aged kids often aren't sure if they're expected to stay at a party or not. Be honest. If you just can't handle that many kids on your own and supervise them well, make the invitation say "You and your child are invited to...." or something of the like. An extra pair of eyes never hurt anyone.
Be realistic about the number of kids you invite. While I absolutely love the idea of inviting everyone from your child's class, understand that your child will likely not be able to socialize with every kid the whole time. You're likely to end up with some kids feeling left out and that's no fun for them OR their parents so if you're inviting a large group of kids, make certain you have activities planned that include EVERYONE. If you're letting your child be more selective, be realistic about how many kids you invite. If you have a small house or can't handle a lot of noise, don't invite 12 teenage girls over to drive you crazy the whole night. Your stress level is directly related to how much fun the kids that are over have.
Be specific on time. You may be tempted to say, "Whatever time you get here is fine." Don't say that unless you truly know your ability to handle chaos. If there is any chance you're going to be pulling your hair out after a couple of hours of party, you need to be clear and not feel bad about being firm on timing. Sleepovers, specifically, can produce problems. The other side of this is that if you specify a time, stick to it. Don't expect parents to be there early and don't send kids home (even if they're in walking distance) early.
Lay down the rules early on and then give them space to play. Let everyone know the rules at the start and them let them loose. You're going to have to expect to remind them a few times but if they know the rules ahead of time, it will be easier to contain their behavior.
and finally....
Don't over plan You can plan a million activities and you'll get aggravated at how much the kids can blow them off because they just...want....to....play. They don't need a billion activities, just one or two. Don't micro manage. Just let them hang out and you'll be much happier as a host.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Are we Creating a Generation of Argumentative Adults?
Food for thought for the morning: By teaching our children that we need to explain ourselves constantly, are we creating a generation of argumentative turds? There is a large quantity of parents that believe that we must explain punishment to children. For instance, if little Sally hits Tommy in the head with a block, we are supposed to remove Sally from the situation and explain to her why she is being put in time out. By the same token, if Sally throws a tantrum because Mom isn't listening at the moment, Mom is supposed to explain to Sally why she's being put in time out. What I'm wondering is this: instead of explaining ourselves and why we have to punish them, why can we not just teach them that "x" is right and "y" is wrong? If they know that one is right and one is wrong, they (like many generations before) won't need an explanation as to why you're being punished. You're being punished because you did something wrong.
Here's my thinking....
Aforementioned Sally grows up and goes to high school. She knows she's not supposed to do a certain activity. She does it anyway and gets sent to the principal's office. The principal is not going to explain every detail of why she's in trouble. He's going to tell her, "Look you knew the rules. You chose not to obey. You're getting suspended." Sally becomes angry that she's not getting treated the way her parents taught her that she's supposed to be treated. Sally goes out into the world. She knows she's not supposed to do a certain activity at work and chooses to do it anyway. She's not going to get a thousand warnings and then have it explained thoroughly. You get a warning and then you get fired. Period.
While I am an advocate for teaching children HOW to think, not WHAT to think, I'm also an advocate for teaching children right and wrong. Your job as a parent is to teach them how to behave so that, as adults, they can lead productive lives. Can you nurture them? Of course. Can you create an environment that nurtures them while still letting them know that wrong is wrong? Yes. The idea that it has to be black or white when it comes to discipline is absurd. There is plenty of gray area. Perhaps the reason that we have a generation of people so offended by everything is because we created a generation of people that believe that everyone should explain everything and treat them like princesses all of the time.
The point is that I'm not going to tell anyone how to parent or not to parent. However, you should try to look at the long-term consequences of your parenting choices.
Here's my thinking....
Aforementioned Sally grows up and goes to high school. She knows she's not supposed to do a certain activity. She does it anyway and gets sent to the principal's office. The principal is not going to explain every detail of why she's in trouble. He's going to tell her, "Look you knew the rules. You chose not to obey. You're getting suspended." Sally becomes angry that she's not getting treated the way her parents taught her that she's supposed to be treated. Sally goes out into the world. She knows she's not supposed to do a certain activity at work and chooses to do it anyway. She's not going to get a thousand warnings and then have it explained thoroughly. You get a warning and then you get fired. Period.
While I am an advocate for teaching children HOW to think, not WHAT to think, I'm also an advocate for teaching children right and wrong. Your job as a parent is to teach them how to behave so that, as adults, they can lead productive lives. Can you nurture them? Of course. Can you create an environment that nurtures them while still letting them know that wrong is wrong? Yes. The idea that it has to be black or white when it comes to discipline is absurd. There is plenty of gray area. Perhaps the reason that we have a generation of people so offended by everything is because we created a generation of people that believe that everyone should explain everything and treat them like princesses all of the time.
The point is that I'm not going to tell anyone how to parent or not to parent. However, you should try to look at the long-term consequences of your parenting choices.
Monday, October 19, 2015
Boys will be boys
I'm pleased to announce that I survived a weekend of boy birthday parties. Since my boys are so close in age, they sort of share a friend pool sometimes. We decided to hold a joint birthday party this past weekend. Here are my observations from a party of tween and teen boys....
Boys are a different kind of loud from girls. Not a shocker, right? When my teenage daughter has a party, they are a giggling silly mess. These boys were running through the house like maniacs but they were having fun. They're just a different kind of loud.
Every myth about boys farting and burping is true. They were downing party cups of soda like shots and then seeing who could burp the loudest. The odor was like a fog. LOL
Boys seem to eat less junk food at parties. Maybe this isn't always true but I bought less junk food than I did for my daughters party with teenagers. Aside from downing ALL of the soda I bought, they really didn't eat much junk food. I think they were too consumed with the video games. LOL I had bags of leftover chips, donuts, etc. I'm not sure why I thought they'd eat more.
Selective hearing....the struggle is real. Yes, I knew selective hearing was real before but when I went out at 11:00 to tell them to tone it down for the night so we didn't keep the neighbors up and not a single one heard me until I stood in front of the TV and said, "Pause for a second, please..", I knew the struggle was real.
At least the ones that were at my house, were incredibly focused. They were talking colleges and careers. It was crazy. They're focused and I love it!
Occasionally I just have to take a breath and close the door to just let my boys be boys. I may not enjoy burping contests but they do. I may not enjoy hours of video games but they do. Instead of focusing on what I'd be doing if I was their age, I sometimes just close the door and let boys be boys without mom interrupting.
Boys are a different kind of loud from girls. Not a shocker, right? When my teenage daughter has a party, they are a giggling silly mess. These boys were running through the house like maniacs but they were having fun. They're just a different kind of loud.
Every myth about boys farting and burping is true. They were downing party cups of soda like shots and then seeing who could burp the loudest. The odor was like a fog. LOL
Boys seem to eat less junk food at parties. Maybe this isn't always true but I bought less junk food than I did for my daughters party with teenagers. Aside from downing ALL of the soda I bought, they really didn't eat much junk food. I think they were too consumed with the video games. LOL I had bags of leftover chips, donuts, etc. I'm not sure why I thought they'd eat more.
Selective hearing....the struggle is real. Yes, I knew selective hearing was real before but when I went out at 11:00 to tell them to tone it down for the night so we didn't keep the neighbors up and not a single one heard me until I stood in front of the TV and said, "Pause for a second, please..", I knew the struggle was real.
At least the ones that were at my house, were incredibly focused. They were talking colleges and careers. It was crazy. They're focused and I love it!
Occasionally I just have to take a breath and close the door to just let my boys be boys. I may not enjoy burping contests but they do. I may not enjoy hours of video games but they do. Instead of focusing on what I'd be doing if I was their age, I sometimes just close the door and let boys be boys without mom interrupting.
Friday, October 16, 2015
Cold and Flu Solutions
Sometimes the best solution for something is the one that is directly under your nose. The simplest solutions are, quite often, the ones that work. Being cold and flu season, there are a whole lot of people complaining about having the sniffles or a headache. Their solution is to "lay down and rest" but I offer the following as an alternative:
Eat a healthy protein packed breakfast. Just getting up and doing something as simple as eating a good breakfast can make a world of difference. It might be something simple like whole grain bread and peanut butter with some fruit. You might get more elaborate. It doesn't have to be a huge meal, just protein packed.
Brush your teeth. In so many common cold and flu viruses, this can make a huge difference. Just brush your teeth and maybe rinse your mouth out.
Go for a walk and/or do some yoga. Roll your eyes and/or give me an excuse on this one but going out and getting fresh air can make all of the difference. Exercise gets your endorphins going and endorphins can be a big booster to your immune system. Not only will they actually make you FEEL better but they will actually help your body fight what you have.
Saline! If you have a stuffy nose or sinus headache, flush your sinuses. I don't recommend things like Claritin unless absolutely necessary. I swear by keeping your sinuses flushed daily to prevent a host of different cold and flu bugs.
Water, water, water! Hydrate yourself. Drink water, Gatorade or something else to keep your body hydrated. Again, this helps your body fight the illness by keeping things moving.
and finally....
Chicken soup. Okay it doesn't HAVE to be chicken. Something with a reasonable amount of garlic will help though. Garlic, as smelly as it is, is a natural antibiotic. It will help fight off whatever is gong on.
While rest is an important part of healing viruses, I think people forget about getting your body moving to boost your immune system. If you can simply boost it a bit, it might help your resting body (later in the day) do its job more efficiently.
Eat a healthy protein packed breakfast. Just getting up and doing something as simple as eating a good breakfast can make a world of difference. It might be something simple like whole grain bread and peanut butter with some fruit. You might get more elaborate. It doesn't have to be a huge meal, just protein packed.
Brush your teeth. In so many common cold and flu viruses, this can make a huge difference. Just brush your teeth and maybe rinse your mouth out.
Go for a walk and/or do some yoga. Roll your eyes and/or give me an excuse on this one but going out and getting fresh air can make all of the difference. Exercise gets your endorphins going and endorphins can be a big booster to your immune system. Not only will they actually make you FEEL better but they will actually help your body fight what you have.
Saline! If you have a stuffy nose or sinus headache, flush your sinuses. I don't recommend things like Claritin unless absolutely necessary. I swear by keeping your sinuses flushed daily to prevent a host of different cold and flu bugs.
Water, water, water! Hydrate yourself. Drink water, Gatorade or something else to keep your body hydrated. Again, this helps your body fight the illness by keeping things moving.
and finally....
Chicken soup. Okay it doesn't HAVE to be chicken. Something with a reasonable amount of garlic will help though. Garlic, as smelly as it is, is a natural antibiotic. It will help fight off whatever is gong on.
While rest is an important part of healing viruses, I think people forget about getting your body moving to boost your immune system. If you can simply boost it a bit, it might help your resting body (later in the day) do its job more efficiently.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
A Change of Perspective
I am going to preface this post by saying that it's going to make some people roll their eyes. It will make some say that I'm a sap. It'll make some call me a hippie. I'm okay with all of these. In fact, I understand that this approach isn't for everyone. This is strictly meant as a different perspective. This is meant to give you some food for thought and, perhaps, inspire you to try to improve on what you're already doing. Growing and learning is part of being an adult, just as much as a child.
With all of that said, I have spent the last few years attempting to change the way I think. Sounds strange, right? It's not as strange as you think. In fact, it's very simple: I want to improve on who I am little by little. Why? Because I believe if you're not growing, you're not living your life in a productive manner. The definition of "growing" may vary from person to person but there are always ways to improve on who you are.
One of my focuses has been not to sweat the small stuff (as the book says). For someone who is a worrier, this is a daily conscious effort. It doesn't come naturally, in the least. At first, I had to start slowly and, at one point, even had a counselor helping me. Her viewpoint was that if I could think of the worst possible scenario and I'd still survive and be able to move on, I'd be able to realize that not everything is worthy of worrying. Her approach worked. It wasn't without bad days and it wasn't without kicking and screaming through the beginning of it, but it truly worked. In fact, it comes much more naturally than it used to now. I know that, ultimately, God has control and that sitting here worrying isn't going to change a thing.
Ultimately, one of my current workings is on flipping my perspective. For nearly a year now, I've been trying to flip my perspective and focus on the positive with my kids. Instead of being irritated that they didn't do their chores correctly, I've tried to be thankful for the fact that they were so excited to get outside and run around. Instead of being upset that we're eating dinner so late, I'm thankful that we all get to sit down together as a family. Instead of focusing so much on what I'm irritated with, I'm trying hard to focus on what I'm thankful about in the situation. Truth is, it's working! It's benefiting my relationship with my kids. It's benefiting my mental and emotional well-being. It's benefiting so many areas of my life. It's coming more naturally now and it's truly creating happiness in what used to be stressful situations.
Now, before you rule me out as an overly touchy feely parent, I say the following: it doesn't mean there aren't punishments. If they don't do their chores correctly, it doesn't mean I just blow it off. It means that, after dinner, they finish the chores correctly instead of having free time to do something fun. They still get privileges taken away. They still get grounded. It's just significantly less stressful in the process. Instead of punishing out of frustration or exhaustion, I spend more of my time giving them a real understanding of why they're being punished. If they know WHY they got video game privileges revoked, they'll what WHAT to do in the future to fix it. Sometimes it only takes one time and sometimes it takes one thousand times. Regardless, it's less stressful on all of us.
I think the world would benefit significantly from taking this approach in a wide variety of areas. I believe that marriages would be improved. I believe that friendships would blossom. I believe that we could all benefit a little from changing our perspective. It won't come naturally at first to some. In fact, it will take hard work but it CAN happen. Perhaps I've planted a seed that will blossom into a great new way of thinking for you.
With all of that said, I have spent the last few years attempting to change the way I think. Sounds strange, right? It's not as strange as you think. In fact, it's very simple: I want to improve on who I am little by little. Why? Because I believe if you're not growing, you're not living your life in a productive manner. The definition of "growing" may vary from person to person but there are always ways to improve on who you are.
One of my focuses has been not to sweat the small stuff (as the book says). For someone who is a worrier, this is a daily conscious effort. It doesn't come naturally, in the least. At first, I had to start slowly and, at one point, even had a counselor helping me. Her viewpoint was that if I could think of the worst possible scenario and I'd still survive and be able to move on, I'd be able to realize that not everything is worthy of worrying. Her approach worked. It wasn't without bad days and it wasn't without kicking and screaming through the beginning of it, but it truly worked. In fact, it comes much more naturally than it used to now. I know that, ultimately, God has control and that sitting here worrying isn't going to change a thing.
Ultimately, one of my current workings is on flipping my perspective. For nearly a year now, I've been trying to flip my perspective and focus on the positive with my kids. Instead of being irritated that they didn't do their chores correctly, I've tried to be thankful for the fact that they were so excited to get outside and run around. Instead of being upset that we're eating dinner so late, I'm thankful that we all get to sit down together as a family. Instead of focusing so much on what I'm irritated with, I'm trying hard to focus on what I'm thankful about in the situation. Truth is, it's working! It's benefiting my relationship with my kids. It's benefiting my mental and emotional well-being. It's benefiting so many areas of my life. It's coming more naturally now and it's truly creating happiness in what used to be stressful situations.
Now, before you rule me out as an overly touchy feely parent, I say the following: it doesn't mean there aren't punishments. If they don't do their chores correctly, it doesn't mean I just blow it off. It means that, after dinner, they finish the chores correctly instead of having free time to do something fun. They still get privileges taken away. They still get grounded. It's just significantly less stressful in the process. Instead of punishing out of frustration or exhaustion, I spend more of my time giving them a real understanding of why they're being punished. If they know WHY they got video game privileges revoked, they'll what WHAT to do in the future to fix it. Sometimes it only takes one time and sometimes it takes one thousand times. Regardless, it's less stressful on all of us.
I think the world would benefit significantly from taking this approach in a wide variety of areas. I believe that marriages would be improved. I believe that friendships would blossom. I believe that we could all benefit a little from changing our perspective. It won't come naturally at first to some. In fact, it will take hard work but it CAN happen. Perhaps I've planted a seed that will blossom into a great new way of thinking for you.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Review of Dick's Sporting Good Park and My First Rapids Game
I went to my first Colorado Rapids game on Saturday to celebrate my sons' birthdays and had my first experience at Dick's Sporting Good Park in Commerce City, CO. Overall, I had an incredible experience and I would recommend it to everyone at least once in your life. Here are the specifics:
Location: Not that any place in Colorado isn't gorgeous but this is a beautiful venue with a beautiful view of the mountains. It's a little off-the-beaten-path for a major venue but, to me, that made it more accessible. How do I see it that way? Without the crazy traffic of a downtown venue, you can more easily access the venue.
Dick's Sporting Goods Park The venue itself is a beautiful venue. It's very well-kept and the seats are roomy and as comfortable as any venue can be. You really get a chance to take in the full experience with in every single seat. The restrooms were clean and easily accessible from our seats.
Staff: The staff was incredibly friendly and professional. They really seemed to enjoy their jobs as opposed to some other stadiums/parks where the staff seem weathered and exhausted from the start of the game on. Even the online staff hosting the Facebook page are attentive and nice.
Concessions and Souvenirs: Concessions were a touch more affordable than some other stadiums but souvenirs seemed about average rate. The stores and booths were easily accessible and they offered a pretty wide variety of snacks for a smaller venue.
The Game The Rapids have had a rough season but they played incredibly hard against a team that was a contender for the finals. They definitely keep you on your toes and have you cheering. They have a tradition of holding up scarves when they enter the field and whipping them around when they score a goal. It keeps you active and it's a great sport to watch!
Overall, great experience watching my first game. The kids really enjoyed it and the game was exciting and fun. We are definitely joining the Rapids cheering team! Go Rapids
Location: Not that any place in Colorado isn't gorgeous but this is a beautiful venue with a beautiful view of the mountains. It's a little off-the-beaten-path for a major venue but, to me, that made it more accessible. How do I see it that way? Without the crazy traffic of a downtown venue, you can more easily access the venue.
Dick's Sporting Goods Park The venue itself is a beautiful venue. It's very well-kept and the seats are roomy and as comfortable as any venue can be. You really get a chance to take in the full experience with in every single seat. The restrooms were clean and easily accessible from our seats.
Staff: The staff was incredibly friendly and professional. They really seemed to enjoy their jobs as opposed to some other stadiums/parks where the staff seem weathered and exhausted from the start of the game on. Even the online staff hosting the Facebook page are attentive and nice.
Concessions and Souvenirs: Concessions were a touch more affordable than some other stadiums but souvenirs seemed about average rate. The stores and booths were easily accessible and they offered a pretty wide variety of snacks for a smaller venue.
The Game The Rapids have had a rough season but they played incredibly hard against a team that was a contender for the finals. They definitely keep you on your toes and have you cheering. They have a tradition of holding up scarves when they enter the field and whipping them around when they score a goal. It keeps you active and it's a great sport to watch!
Overall, great experience watching my first game. The kids really enjoyed it and the game was exciting and fun. We are definitely joining the Rapids cheering team! Go Rapids
Monday, October 12, 2015
Parenting Myths
Anyone else notice how there are some kids that are breast fed that are super clingy and some that are bottle fed that are super clingy? Do you notice how some that are started on solids early are picky eaters or have allergies and some that aren't started until way late are picky eaters and have allergies? Have you seen that some babies that use pacifiers don't speak as clearly and others speak just fine? For every parent that wants to say that making a particular parenting decision will ultimately decide how your child turns out, there is another parent with an opposing view saying the same thing. There are doctors and studies that will support either argument on most issues and you'll hear a different opinion from damn near every person you ask. One will tell you to spank while another will say time out and yet another will tell you that you should reason with your child. Here are some of my favorite parenting myths...
He's using you as a pacifier. Breastfeeding moms are bombarded with this one. The myth is that the baby is only nursing to comfort themselves as opposed to be hungry. Reality is that breast milk isn't quite as filling as formula and metabolizes faster so sometimes breastfeeding babies just need to nurse more. Reality is also that the argument is moot. It doesn't matter if the baby is using its mother as a pacifier. It's THEIR business. If the baby needs the mother to comfort him for a little while, so be it. If they're still doing this when he goes to college, then we'll talk.
A pacifier will make your child need braces So not true. I didn't use a pacifier or suck my thumb and had AWFUL teeth that required years of braces. There are plenty of others like me. There are also plenty of people that had pacifiers or sucked their thumbs as toddlers who didn't need braces. Realistically speaking, yes, if your child is still using a pacifier or sucking their thumb in their preschool years, it is far more likely it can move their teeth around. This is specific to those that do it constantly. A baby with a pacifier does not necessarily mean that it'll be a teenager with braces.
If they tell you when they've pooped, they're ready to potty train. Every child is different but ability to identify that they've pooped doesn't mean readiness to potty train. It's a great step in the right direction but it's not a definitive reason to run out and get undies. Here's the deal: kids need to be able to pull up and down their pants on their own, identify before they've pooped or peed, etc before you should really push hard to potty train. Some of them will actually regress if you push it too early. I'm all for buying the potty and letting them try when they ask but understand that trying doesn't mean they're ready.
Spanking makes your kids learn to hit so if you don't spank, they won't learn it. Lies, all lies. Yes, spanking in anger can teach your kids to hit. I am a believer that spanking (when not in anger) when discipline is needed does not teach them hitting. Exhibit A, my kids were swatted when they were younger and they don't hit each other or anyone else. They aren't violent, angry, physical children. As the matter of fact, they're laid back for the most part. Spanking does NOT automatically mean you're going to have a violent child. Choosing NOT to spank does not automatically mean you'll have a brat. Different things work for different kids.
and finally....
Kids have to learn anatomically correct names from the start or they get sexually confused. This is a huge myth, in my opinion. I didn't know the correct anatomical terms from the start and I'm far from sexually confused. I think people put far too much stock in unimportant things. Different parents use different terms and kids can be sexually confused either way.
I guess my point is that one particular parenting decision is not the end-all, be-all decision maker in whether or not kids will end up with a particular issue. Educate yourself on all different approaches, but ultimately follow your heart and realize that parenting was done for generations before books on parenting existed. You have it inside you to be a great parent. Believe in yourself.
He's using you as a pacifier. Breastfeeding moms are bombarded with this one. The myth is that the baby is only nursing to comfort themselves as opposed to be hungry. Reality is that breast milk isn't quite as filling as formula and metabolizes faster so sometimes breastfeeding babies just need to nurse more. Reality is also that the argument is moot. It doesn't matter if the baby is using its mother as a pacifier. It's THEIR business. If the baby needs the mother to comfort him for a little while, so be it. If they're still doing this when he goes to college, then we'll talk.
A pacifier will make your child need braces So not true. I didn't use a pacifier or suck my thumb and had AWFUL teeth that required years of braces. There are plenty of others like me. There are also plenty of people that had pacifiers or sucked their thumbs as toddlers who didn't need braces. Realistically speaking, yes, if your child is still using a pacifier or sucking their thumb in their preschool years, it is far more likely it can move their teeth around. This is specific to those that do it constantly. A baby with a pacifier does not necessarily mean that it'll be a teenager with braces.
If they tell you when they've pooped, they're ready to potty train. Every child is different but ability to identify that they've pooped doesn't mean readiness to potty train. It's a great step in the right direction but it's not a definitive reason to run out and get undies. Here's the deal: kids need to be able to pull up and down their pants on their own, identify before they've pooped or peed, etc before you should really push hard to potty train. Some of them will actually regress if you push it too early. I'm all for buying the potty and letting them try when they ask but understand that trying doesn't mean they're ready.
Spanking makes your kids learn to hit so if you don't spank, they won't learn it. Lies, all lies. Yes, spanking in anger can teach your kids to hit. I am a believer that spanking (when not in anger) when discipline is needed does not teach them hitting. Exhibit A, my kids were swatted when they were younger and they don't hit each other or anyone else. They aren't violent, angry, physical children. As the matter of fact, they're laid back for the most part. Spanking does NOT automatically mean you're going to have a violent child. Choosing NOT to spank does not automatically mean you'll have a brat. Different things work for different kids.
and finally....
Kids have to learn anatomically correct names from the start or they get sexually confused. This is a huge myth, in my opinion. I didn't know the correct anatomical terms from the start and I'm far from sexually confused. I think people put far too much stock in unimportant things. Different parents use different terms and kids can be sexually confused either way.
I guess my point is that one particular parenting decision is not the end-all, be-all decision maker in whether or not kids will end up with a particular issue. Educate yourself on all different approaches, but ultimately follow your heart and realize that parenting was done for generations before books on parenting existed. You have it inside you to be a great parent. Believe in yourself.
NFL Week 5
Bears vs Chiefs: Honestly, I'm not sure what to say about the Bears this season. Maybe they just started off slow or maybe they had a couple of barely lucky games. It's no secret that I am just NOT a fan of Jay Cutler and it has more to do with his attitude than his skill level. Cutler is a cry baby who blames everyone else when he doesn't do well. He has no ability to take responsibility and commit to doing better. Instead it's a finger-pointing whine fest. Long term there's no telling if they'll end up with a winning season but I'd be surprised if they make it to the playoffs. That said, great play, Bears. Hopefully the Chiefs aren't going to buckle quite so badly with Charles out now.
Seahawks vs Bengals: I loathe the Seahawks so any loss is a good one for me...even if it was an OT loss. The Bengals are proving their worth times 100 so far. Dalton is kicking ass and, frankly, they've just been on it as a team.
Patriots vs Cowboys: Ouch! That's all I can say. Honestly, the Cowboys have been doing so so up until now and a loss to the Patriots is an understandable one. I mean, it's Tom Brady. The guy's incredible. The Cowboys offense just isn't delivering without Romo and the defense is only sort of coming up. The Patriots weren't looking so hot to begin with and then BAM...done.
Packers vs Rams: The big news is that Aaron Rodgers threw his first pick at home in three years. Well whoop de doo, they still won and he's still Aaron Rodgers. This game was actually a great one, in my opinion. The Packers once again proved their worth (well their defense anyhow) and Rodgers, once again, delivered a great performance despite a pick.
Broncos vs Raiders: My boys' defense came through again. Thank you, Chris Harris Jr, for an amazing interception run back for a touchdown. Thank you defense for holding it together when our offense was only performing sub par. Thank you Janikowski for missing two field goals...okay so one was blocked but you straight shanked the other one. There's quite a debate, and even a hashtag trending, to start Osweiler. My personal opinion is that one of the great things about Peyton Manning is that he knows when he needs to be taken out. Bearing in mind that we have an entirely new coaching team that is working with an entirely new approach, of course we're having some iffy games. We're starting off a little bit slow but that doesn't mean we are not contenders. Don't write us off just yet.
On a side note, let me be the first to say that the officiating this year overall has just blown ass. I have not been impressed at all and I'm trying hard to give a learning curve with some of the new rules but come on now. Nearly every game I've watched, I've found myself being a couch quarterback screaming at the refs for shitty calls and I know I'm not the only one. Step it up boys!
Seahawks vs Bengals: I loathe the Seahawks so any loss is a good one for me...even if it was an OT loss. The Bengals are proving their worth times 100 so far. Dalton is kicking ass and, frankly, they've just been on it as a team.
Patriots vs Cowboys: Ouch! That's all I can say. Honestly, the Cowboys have been doing so so up until now and a loss to the Patriots is an understandable one. I mean, it's Tom Brady. The guy's incredible. The Cowboys offense just isn't delivering without Romo and the defense is only sort of coming up. The Patriots weren't looking so hot to begin with and then BAM...done.
Packers vs Rams: The big news is that Aaron Rodgers threw his first pick at home in three years. Well whoop de doo, they still won and he's still Aaron Rodgers. This game was actually a great one, in my opinion. The Packers once again proved their worth (well their defense anyhow) and Rodgers, once again, delivered a great performance despite a pick.
Broncos vs Raiders: My boys' defense came through again. Thank you, Chris Harris Jr, for an amazing interception run back for a touchdown. Thank you defense for holding it together when our offense was only performing sub par. Thank you Janikowski for missing two field goals...okay so one was blocked but you straight shanked the other one. There's quite a debate, and even a hashtag trending, to start Osweiler. My personal opinion is that one of the great things about Peyton Manning is that he knows when he needs to be taken out. Bearing in mind that we have an entirely new coaching team that is working with an entirely new approach, of course we're having some iffy games. We're starting off a little bit slow but that doesn't mean we are not contenders. Don't write us off just yet.
On a side note, let me be the first to say that the officiating this year overall has just blown ass. I have not been impressed at all and I'm trying hard to give a learning curve with some of the new rules but come on now. Nearly every game I've watched, I've found myself being a couch quarterback screaming at the refs for shitty calls and I know I'm not the only one. Step it up boys!
Friday, October 9, 2015
Micromanaging Our Kids
I saw an article this morning about a school who hired a "playground consultant" to make recess more inclusive. Honestly, it makes me cringe. Great, no scratch that..AMAZING, intention but awful awful execution. Here's the thing: we need to stop micromanaging our kids. Why? Here goes....
Back in the day, kids were allowed to just be kids. They were allowed to like or dislike other kids. They were allowed to fail if they didn't do their homework. They were allowed to be reprimanded by teachers. They were allowed to get a whooping or stand in a corner if they misbehaved. They were allowed to have their mouths washed out with soap. They were allowed to learn from their mistakes without their parents stepping in to prevent them from experiencing the hard stuff. Am I suggesting that life was perfect back then? Of course not. What I am definitely pointing out is that kids were learning to be productive adults back then. They were learning how to cope with their feelings and that life isn't always fair or fun.
Flash forward to the current generation. Now kids are told that they have to like everyone and include everyone all of the time. Kids are reprimanded for having people that they prefer. The irony? We're told that we shouldn't push our kids to hug, smile or respect adults without the adults jumping through hoops because it tramples a kid's rights. Now kids are told that there's always an opportunity to turn in late assignments that they decide that they don't want to do. Now, kids are told that teachers and school staff aren't allowed to punish them. Parents step in if a teacher tells a child that they aren't making good decisions and teachers are treated like villians. Now, it's more difficult to give a kid consequences because everything either "hurts their spirit" or is considered illegal. And we wonder why we have a generation of entitled, bratty kids coming up.
Notice the difference between the old generation and the current one? Let me spell it out....life experience. When you constantly micromanage someone, you are preventing them from learning from life experience. If they aren't allowed to experience negative consequence, they will never learn why they shouldn't do something. They also miss out on the rewards, though. They never get a chance to truly feel like they earned something if someone is constantly telling them every single rule that needs to be made.
So why does the playground committee make me cringe? Well, it's simple. Yes, I understand that bullying is a big deal. I am a HUGE supporter of options like "buddy benches." Why? Because it teaches kids that they need to take the initiative to speak for themselves. If you're feeling left out, sit on the bench. If you see someone on the bench, go talk to them. It gives kids the power to do something to help themselves. It teaches them not to rely on a teacher to force someone to socialize with them. However, when you start treating playgrounds as if they're tiny jail yards, you start creating a bunch of tiny convicts. You can't force kids to like someone else. Maybe they don't share interests or maybe their personalities just don't mesh. When you force them to play with these kids and teach them that they have to like everyone and treat every single person the same, you teach them that their preferences no longer matter. Should we be teaching them compassion and just plain friendliness? Of course. Should we force feed them stories of why they need to invite everyone to their party? No.
Here is my other issue with this: If kids are forced into liking everyone, they don't learn the lessons from being excluded. Yes, it's painful to be excluded. I totally agree. With that being said, you don't get the same treatment as an adult. Your boss doesn't travel around the office singing folk songs and explaining why you should invite everyone to happy hour. As an adult, you're expected to take initiative yourself. You're expected to find someone who shares common interests and that you get along with. If you never let your kids experience rejection, they never learn to take initiative for yourself. Maybe if more kids were allowed to experience a little bit of heartache (with a support system of family/friends to console them and help THEM take initiative to fix it), there would be less kids going on rampages or committing suicide. Just food for thought. Instead of teaching kids that others are cruel if they don't include them, maybe we should be teaching them that not every other peer's opinion matters and that they should find friends that have similar interests. God forbid we HELP them instead of doing it for them.
What this all comes down to is that we are hindering this generation by micromanaging them. We are teaching them that they need to rely on us to think (and in the same breath, teaching them why they don't have to respect adults). We're teaching them that their preferences don't matter and then, with our actions, teaching them that they should express themselves freely. Letting your kids succeed and fail while you support them will do them much more good, in the long run, than forcing them into a path that you've forged.
Back in the day, kids were allowed to just be kids. They were allowed to like or dislike other kids. They were allowed to fail if they didn't do their homework. They were allowed to be reprimanded by teachers. They were allowed to get a whooping or stand in a corner if they misbehaved. They were allowed to have their mouths washed out with soap. They were allowed to learn from their mistakes without their parents stepping in to prevent them from experiencing the hard stuff. Am I suggesting that life was perfect back then? Of course not. What I am definitely pointing out is that kids were learning to be productive adults back then. They were learning how to cope with their feelings and that life isn't always fair or fun.
Flash forward to the current generation. Now kids are told that they have to like everyone and include everyone all of the time. Kids are reprimanded for having people that they prefer. The irony? We're told that we shouldn't push our kids to hug, smile or respect adults without the adults jumping through hoops because it tramples a kid's rights. Now kids are told that there's always an opportunity to turn in late assignments that they decide that they don't want to do. Now, kids are told that teachers and school staff aren't allowed to punish them. Parents step in if a teacher tells a child that they aren't making good decisions and teachers are treated like villians. Now, it's more difficult to give a kid consequences because everything either "hurts their spirit" or is considered illegal. And we wonder why we have a generation of entitled, bratty kids coming up.
Notice the difference between the old generation and the current one? Let me spell it out....life experience. When you constantly micromanage someone, you are preventing them from learning from life experience. If they aren't allowed to experience negative consequence, they will never learn why they shouldn't do something. They also miss out on the rewards, though. They never get a chance to truly feel like they earned something if someone is constantly telling them every single rule that needs to be made.
So why does the playground committee make me cringe? Well, it's simple. Yes, I understand that bullying is a big deal. I am a HUGE supporter of options like "buddy benches." Why? Because it teaches kids that they need to take the initiative to speak for themselves. If you're feeling left out, sit on the bench. If you see someone on the bench, go talk to them. It gives kids the power to do something to help themselves. It teaches them not to rely on a teacher to force someone to socialize with them. However, when you start treating playgrounds as if they're tiny jail yards, you start creating a bunch of tiny convicts. You can't force kids to like someone else. Maybe they don't share interests or maybe their personalities just don't mesh. When you force them to play with these kids and teach them that they have to like everyone and treat every single person the same, you teach them that their preferences no longer matter. Should we be teaching them compassion and just plain friendliness? Of course. Should we force feed them stories of why they need to invite everyone to their party? No.
Here is my other issue with this: If kids are forced into liking everyone, they don't learn the lessons from being excluded. Yes, it's painful to be excluded. I totally agree. With that being said, you don't get the same treatment as an adult. Your boss doesn't travel around the office singing folk songs and explaining why you should invite everyone to happy hour. As an adult, you're expected to take initiative yourself. You're expected to find someone who shares common interests and that you get along with. If you never let your kids experience rejection, they never learn to take initiative for yourself. Maybe if more kids were allowed to experience a little bit of heartache (with a support system of family/friends to console them and help THEM take initiative to fix it), there would be less kids going on rampages or committing suicide. Just food for thought. Instead of teaching kids that others are cruel if they don't include them, maybe we should be teaching them that not every other peer's opinion matters and that they should find friends that have similar interests. God forbid we HELP them instead of doing it for them.
What this all comes down to is that we are hindering this generation by micromanaging them. We are teaching them that they need to rely on us to think (and in the same breath, teaching them why they don't have to respect adults). We're teaching them that their preferences don't matter and then, with our actions, teaching them that they should express themselves freely. Letting your kids succeed and fail while you support them will do them much more good, in the long run, than forcing them into a path that you've forged.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
People Magazine's BS
People magazine has released the names and numbers of Congressional members telling people to call and push their anti-gun agenda. It's no secret that the media is largely owned and operated by liberals. People is published by Time Inc which is a part of Time Warner. But that part of the post is a whole different discussion.
The real discussion today is two parts. Number one is the media using fear mongering to get people's attention. The only way that this will work is when people stop educating themselves. Fear and shame are used in an argument for one big reason: your argument isn't strong enough with the facts alone. The media and liberals use fear and shame to make you feel like you're a bad person if you don't agree with them. I'm not asking that you agree with my opinions. I'm only asking that you educate yourself. Read from both sides of the argument. Read real facts and statistics. Read everything you can on the topic. Educate yourself. I don't want to tell you WHAT to think but HOW to think....more than that, how to think for yourself! Don't just blindly believe and follow what you see in a magazine or on TV or, even worse, on the internet. Don't think that these celebrities that are pushing this down your throat to scare you are looking out for you. Most of these celebrities pushing anti-gun agendas have body guards who are, you guessed it, ARMED. When a stalker gets onto their property, they call the police who are, you guessed it, ARMED. Many have security at any major venue they go to and the security is...well you get the point.
The second part of the discussion is the idea that guns are the problem. The argument with so many that aren't reading up is that the people pushing this only want stricter gun laws. Here's the problem with that: they "only" wanted to give everyone access to health care and look how many things got pushed through with that having NOTHING to do with access to health care. This is all a distraction and a fear tactic to get you to believe that these maniacs that commit crimes are doing so only because they have access to legal guns. How many millions of people own and have owned firearms for hundreds of years? What percentage of these people have gone on a shooting spree? Yes, I understand that one maniac doing this is too many but their access to a gun isn't the problem. The terrorists on 9-11 didn't use guns, they used box cutters. Guns don't kill people, PEOPLE kill people.
Please take the time to read as much as possible on this issue before you make a decision on how you feel about this. Knowledge is power, folks.
The real discussion today is two parts. Number one is the media using fear mongering to get people's attention. The only way that this will work is when people stop educating themselves. Fear and shame are used in an argument for one big reason: your argument isn't strong enough with the facts alone. The media and liberals use fear and shame to make you feel like you're a bad person if you don't agree with them. I'm not asking that you agree with my opinions. I'm only asking that you educate yourself. Read from both sides of the argument. Read real facts and statistics. Read everything you can on the topic. Educate yourself. I don't want to tell you WHAT to think but HOW to think....more than that, how to think for yourself! Don't just blindly believe and follow what you see in a magazine or on TV or, even worse, on the internet. Don't think that these celebrities that are pushing this down your throat to scare you are looking out for you. Most of these celebrities pushing anti-gun agendas have body guards who are, you guessed it, ARMED. When a stalker gets onto their property, they call the police who are, you guessed it, ARMED. Many have security at any major venue they go to and the security is...well you get the point.
The second part of the discussion is the idea that guns are the problem. The argument with so many that aren't reading up is that the people pushing this only want stricter gun laws. Here's the problem with that: they "only" wanted to give everyone access to health care and look how many things got pushed through with that having NOTHING to do with access to health care. This is all a distraction and a fear tactic to get you to believe that these maniacs that commit crimes are doing so only because they have access to legal guns. How many millions of people own and have owned firearms for hundreds of years? What percentage of these people have gone on a shooting spree? Yes, I understand that one maniac doing this is too many but their access to a gun isn't the problem. The terrorists on 9-11 didn't use guns, they used box cutters. Guns don't kill people, PEOPLE kill people.
Please take the time to read as much as possible on this issue before you make a decision on how you feel about this. Knowledge is power, folks.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Some Relationship Tidbits
I'm a people watcher. I love to just sit and watch and absorb things. If I'm out in a large crowd, you'll often find me at the outskirts keeping an eye on what everyone else is doing. I'm also fascinated by the psychology of people's personalities and interactions. I can stand on the outside and watch and observe, in a whole lot of cases, why people aren't meshing well. I'm definitely not an expert but here are a few observations that have led to advice, of late.
You can't tease ALL the time. It seems that men, in particular, struggle with this one. In an effort to amuse their significant other, they razz them. It's all in good fun but it can go too far. If that's all you do, the love of your life will start to feel like that's all you think of them. You shouldn't change your dynamic completely....you can still tease and have fun. However, throw some sincere compliments in here and there to let them know they are still the one.
Stop micromanaging. Yes you ladies (most of the time). If you give him a task, stop micromanaging how it gets done. Tell him what you need done and when you need it done and then leave it alone! Seriously focus on the end result and not whether it's done the exact way you need it done or on your timeline. Have a little faith.
Stroke his ego. While we're on the topic of micromanaging and projects, maybe stroke his ego sometimes. No it's not some huge deal in the grand scheme of things that he got the kids all up and off to school without you having to lift a finger but guess what...it's still something worth thanking him for. Try to think of it this way: if you would thank a guest in your house for doing it, you should probably thank him too. I'm not suggesting you blow smoke up his ass but a little bit of appreciation and praise goes a long way.
Tell her she's beautiful. I keep observing men saying, "Well she just stopped trying." While this is a whole different topic that I see happening with both genders but particularly women, her lack of effort doesn't mean you should stop trying to make her feel pretty. I can honestly say that when I've advised friends to make an extra effort to compliment their lady (who they claim wasn't trying), their lady went the extra mile for them. Make it a point to tell her she's beautiful, especially when she's not necessarily feeling that way.
There's a line with flirting and gawking. The line differs from person to person but everyone has some sort of line. For instance, I'm fine with an observation that a girl is hot but flirt with someone else when I'm out with you and I'm done. Some people can't even stand for their significant other to look. Some are fine with flirting if there's no touching. Just remember that there is always a line for it. Find it and don't flirt with the line. You'll save yourself a whole lot of hassle.
and finally....
Use positive language. Guys, she is not your ball and chain or your "old lady." Ladies, stop nagging! I understand that it's a hard habit to break but use positive language. If you need to "nag", sub in two positives for every one negative you need to say. I guarantee you, it will pay off if you put in the effort.
Like I said, I'm not an expert but it never hurts to try something new.
You can't tease ALL the time. It seems that men, in particular, struggle with this one. In an effort to amuse their significant other, they razz them. It's all in good fun but it can go too far. If that's all you do, the love of your life will start to feel like that's all you think of them. You shouldn't change your dynamic completely....you can still tease and have fun. However, throw some sincere compliments in here and there to let them know they are still the one.
Stop micromanaging. Yes you ladies (most of the time). If you give him a task, stop micromanaging how it gets done. Tell him what you need done and when you need it done and then leave it alone! Seriously focus on the end result and not whether it's done the exact way you need it done or on your timeline. Have a little faith.
Stroke his ego. While we're on the topic of micromanaging and projects, maybe stroke his ego sometimes. No it's not some huge deal in the grand scheme of things that he got the kids all up and off to school without you having to lift a finger but guess what...it's still something worth thanking him for. Try to think of it this way: if you would thank a guest in your house for doing it, you should probably thank him too. I'm not suggesting you blow smoke up his ass but a little bit of appreciation and praise goes a long way.
Tell her she's beautiful. I keep observing men saying, "Well she just stopped trying." While this is a whole different topic that I see happening with both genders but particularly women, her lack of effort doesn't mean you should stop trying to make her feel pretty. I can honestly say that when I've advised friends to make an extra effort to compliment their lady (who they claim wasn't trying), their lady went the extra mile for them. Make it a point to tell her she's beautiful, especially when she's not necessarily feeling that way.
There's a line with flirting and gawking. The line differs from person to person but everyone has some sort of line. For instance, I'm fine with an observation that a girl is hot but flirt with someone else when I'm out with you and I'm done. Some people can't even stand for their significant other to look. Some are fine with flirting if there's no touching. Just remember that there is always a line for it. Find it and don't flirt with the line. You'll save yourself a whole lot of hassle.
and finally....
Use positive language. Guys, she is not your ball and chain or your "old lady." Ladies, stop nagging! I understand that it's a hard habit to break but use positive language. If you need to "nag", sub in two positives for every one negative you need to say. I guarantee you, it will pay off if you put in the effort.
Like I said, I'm not an expert but it never hurts to try something new.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
NFL Week 4
Lions vs Seahawks on MNF: Okay, let's be fair. The Lions are having a rough year....again. I'm not a Lions fan and, frankly, never really have been one to root for them. However, I loathe the Seahawks. So Lions fans, chin up that you guys held it to 13-10. That's huge. The Seahawks D is brutal and scoring even one touchdown is a feat of engineering for some teams. Your D was obviously doing its job since they only got one as well. The bullshit call at the end of the game that the refs completely missed cost you the game. No, you shouldn't rely on the ref's calls to win the game but that call (or lack thereof) was a giant flaming piece of horse manure. It honestly sucks. Now move on and rally next week for a win.
Bears vs Raiders: The Bears finally got a win....vs the Raiders. I'm happy for them that they finally stopped riding the suck train...except they didn't. It's the Raiders. I mean, really. Get rid of Cutler and his whiny cronies and you might do better. Just sayin.
Jets vs Dolphins: The Jets played a helluva game against Miami and, frankly, I was impressed. Go Jets!
Green Bay vs San Francisco: Did you honestly see this going any other way? As much as I'm not a fan of Green Bay, let's be realistic: they're an amazing team. The 49ers didn't stand a chance.
Broncos vs Vikings: Okay so we eeked that one out and it was mostly defense again. To the haters giving Manning shit, lay off. He's working with a new offensive coordinator and they're working out what works. They're finally, at least, letting the pistol have a chance and it's improving. Manning is still Manning. Seriously. Give it a rest or jump off the damn bandwagon you jumped on and stop being a damn baby. To the Broncos D...one word....amazing. You guys rock!
In other news....
The Cubs are in the playoffs. Seriously, can you believe it? I'm not a Cubs fan at all but having grown up near Chicago, I'm floored. On this particular occasion, I'm gonna say Go Cubs :)
Bears vs Raiders: The Bears finally got a win....vs the Raiders. I'm happy for them that they finally stopped riding the suck train...except they didn't. It's the Raiders. I mean, really. Get rid of Cutler and his whiny cronies and you might do better. Just sayin.
Jets vs Dolphins: The Jets played a helluva game against Miami and, frankly, I was impressed. Go Jets!
Green Bay vs San Francisco: Did you honestly see this going any other way? As much as I'm not a fan of Green Bay, let's be realistic: they're an amazing team. The 49ers didn't stand a chance.
Broncos vs Vikings: Okay so we eeked that one out and it was mostly defense again. To the haters giving Manning shit, lay off. He's working with a new offensive coordinator and they're working out what works. They're finally, at least, letting the pistol have a chance and it's improving. Manning is still Manning. Seriously. Give it a rest or jump off the damn bandwagon you jumped on and stop being a damn baby. To the Broncos D...one word....amazing. You guys rock!
In other news....
The Cubs are in the playoffs. Seriously, can you believe it? I'm not a Cubs fan at all but having grown up near Chicago, I'm floored. On this particular occasion, I'm gonna say Go Cubs :)
Monday, October 5, 2015
A Morsel of Advice
I sometimes feel like people misconstrue age-old parenting advice to fit their parenting style. That's not to say that the advice is right or wrong; honestly, every parent has the right to their own style. With that being said, twisting words to fit your needs is defeating the purpose of advice to begin with. Having been on both sides of the fence as a stay at home mom and working mom, I can honestly say that I get both sides of the struggle. Here are a few pieces of advice that I can offer up if you care to listen.....
Socialize your kids. Let me be clear on what I mean by this: YOU take the time to take YOUR kids places and YOU teach them how to interact with others. I do NOT mean that you should put your kids in classes starting at six months old just so they can interact with other babies. If you want to introduce them to classroom structure, fine. If you are looking to socialize your child, the best thing you can do for them is to actually spend the time with them and show them how to interact. Show them what to do if someone steals their toy or cuts in line. Show them how to have compassion when someone is hurting or how to handle a disagreement. Show them to share in others' joy. Teach them to be excited for their friends' achievements. Teach them how to socialize.
Make your kids work for it. Here's the catch: you shouldn't make them work for basic needs. In terms of things that are NOT necessary, however, it's important that kids learn the value of a dollar. I don't care what the current society likes to say about "taking inflation into consideration." Your child does not need, nor will it teach them anything, to give them $20 for a lost tooth. Let's be realistic...you'll raise an entitled kiddo with rewards like that. Kids are capable of doing chores or helpful tasks from a very young age. Your three year old can make their bed. Will it be perfectly straight? Probably not. Can they still try? YES! There are some chores I believe should be part of every family's life anyway to teach kids how to be part of a team. There are others that are fine to pay them for IF they do them. Don't pay your kids for chores they didn't do and don't think that giving them money is teaching them anything.
Manners matter. It seems that our society is taking a nose dive. We're all expected to be "politically correct" so as not to offend people but we forget to teach our kids about REAL manners. Teach them to say "yes ma'am" and "no sir." Teach them about how to close their mouth when they chew and elbows off the table. Teach them to say "please" and "thank you." Kids need to learn that manners do still matter.
and finally....
Teach your ladies to be a lady and your gentlemen to be a gentleman. It sounds redundant but teach them how to be a lady or a gentleman. Am I suggesting that they need to turn back the clock and forget any progress we've made? No. I'm not suggesting women need to be submissive twits that can't speak for themselves. What I am suggesting is that women learn to act like young ladies instead of bossy, bitchy jerks that seem to be common anymore. You can be confident without being crude. I'll say that again: You can be confident without being crude. Men need to learn how to be men. Teach them how to treat a lady like a lady. Teach them how to be strong without being cocky jerks.
Take my advice with a grain of salt, if you will. Some of it is just observation and everyone's entitled to make their own decisions. Just take a moment to think about how jerky a whole lot of this generation is. A whole lot of moms and dads stopped taking old advice in lieu of a new generation of thinking. Just a thought to ponder....what if not ALL of it was wrong. What if your parents weren't completely off? Maybe there's a nice compromise.
Socialize your kids. Let me be clear on what I mean by this: YOU take the time to take YOUR kids places and YOU teach them how to interact with others. I do NOT mean that you should put your kids in classes starting at six months old just so they can interact with other babies. If you want to introduce them to classroom structure, fine. If you are looking to socialize your child, the best thing you can do for them is to actually spend the time with them and show them how to interact. Show them what to do if someone steals their toy or cuts in line. Show them how to have compassion when someone is hurting or how to handle a disagreement. Show them to share in others' joy. Teach them to be excited for their friends' achievements. Teach them how to socialize.
Make your kids work for it. Here's the catch: you shouldn't make them work for basic needs. In terms of things that are NOT necessary, however, it's important that kids learn the value of a dollar. I don't care what the current society likes to say about "taking inflation into consideration." Your child does not need, nor will it teach them anything, to give them $20 for a lost tooth. Let's be realistic...you'll raise an entitled kiddo with rewards like that. Kids are capable of doing chores or helpful tasks from a very young age. Your three year old can make their bed. Will it be perfectly straight? Probably not. Can they still try? YES! There are some chores I believe should be part of every family's life anyway to teach kids how to be part of a team. There are others that are fine to pay them for IF they do them. Don't pay your kids for chores they didn't do and don't think that giving them money is teaching them anything.
Manners matter. It seems that our society is taking a nose dive. We're all expected to be "politically correct" so as not to offend people but we forget to teach our kids about REAL manners. Teach them to say "yes ma'am" and "no sir." Teach them about how to close their mouth when they chew and elbows off the table. Teach them to say "please" and "thank you." Kids need to learn that manners do still matter.
and finally....
Teach your ladies to be a lady and your gentlemen to be a gentleman. It sounds redundant but teach them how to be a lady or a gentleman. Am I suggesting that they need to turn back the clock and forget any progress we've made? No. I'm not suggesting women need to be submissive twits that can't speak for themselves. What I am suggesting is that women learn to act like young ladies instead of bossy, bitchy jerks that seem to be common anymore. You can be confident without being crude. I'll say that again: You can be confident without being crude. Men need to learn how to be men. Teach them how to treat a lady like a lady. Teach them how to be strong without being cocky jerks.
Take my advice with a grain of salt, if you will. Some of it is just observation and everyone's entitled to make their own decisions. Just take a moment to think about how jerky a whole lot of this generation is. A whole lot of moms and dads stopped taking old advice in lieu of a new generation of thinking. Just a thought to ponder....what if not ALL of it was wrong. What if your parents weren't completely off? Maybe there's a nice compromise.
Friday, October 2, 2015
My Reason for Opposing Abortions
I read an amazing story of a little boy born with anacephaly (meaning his skull didn't fully form) who just celebrated his first birthday. Doctors told his parents to abort. They told them, when he was born, that he would never walk or talk. They told him that if he survived, he'd never have a real life. Jaxon continues to defy the odds. He's is a miracle...a miracle that would have never had a chance to experience life if his parents hadn't passed on the abortion.
There are stories like this all over that are often hidden from the public eye. There are babies that survive abortions. There are babies who survive against all odds. Beyond that, as we start the second day of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, there are mothers that have lost their little ones that would give the world to have them back in their arms. Those that have suffered miscarriage would give anything to have met their babies. Then there are those with stillborn infants who met their precious bundles, knowing they have a brief moment with them. These are the stories behind why so many people oppose abortion. These are the passionate pleas of mothers who wish they could tell others their stories.
My story is much more simple. The face of my youngest daughter is my reason. She was the most unplanned pregnancy ever. "Final" measures had been taken to prevent pregnancy and yet I still got pregnant with her. I bawled at the prospect of another pregnancy, especially one so unplanned, but I went through with it and I couldn't be more grateful to God for her. I can't imagine my life without her. I can't imagine a single moment where I don't thank God for her and what she brings to my life. You see, SHE is my reason why abortion is not always the answer.
I suffered miscarriages (multiple) throughout my child bearing years (I have had a hysterectomy). I have suffered the grief and loss of my child disappearing from my womb with no fault of my own. I have cried a million tears over these babies and I believe that I will meet them someday in Heaven. I do believe that life begins at conception. I do believe that life is precious. I believe that abortions are killing a person. You can argue the anatomy. You can argue the science with me. I know the science. I know the justifications people give. I just don't agree.
Look, I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't have a choice. I wouldn't take away someone else's freedom to what to do with their body. The only thing I can tell you is that sometimes the most unplanned things in life turn out to be the greatest. Sometimes the most wonderful blessings in life come from things that you prayed against and that you said you'd never do. Sometimes it just takes a little faith in whatever you believe in to be given a great blessing. What you want to get rid of, another mother is begging to have. I plead with you to consider adoption instead of abortion. I plead with you to consider what the long term consequences might be on your emotions. Your body is your choice but I beg you to think it through.
My precious little girl is my reason that I couldn't ever have an abortion. What is yours?
There are stories like this all over that are often hidden from the public eye. There are babies that survive abortions. There are babies who survive against all odds. Beyond that, as we start the second day of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, there are mothers that have lost their little ones that would give the world to have them back in their arms. Those that have suffered miscarriage would give anything to have met their babies. Then there are those with stillborn infants who met their precious bundles, knowing they have a brief moment with them. These are the stories behind why so many people oppose abortion. These are the passionate pleas of mothers who wish they could tell others their stories.
My story is much more simple. The face of my youngest daughter is my reason. She was the most unplanned pregnancy ever. "Final" measures had been taken to prevent pregnancy and yet I still got pregnant with her. I bawled at the prospect of another pregnancy, especially one so unplanned, but I went through with it and I couldn't be more grateful to God for her. I can't imagine my life without her. I can't imagine a single moment where I don't thank God for her and what she brings to my life. You see, SHE is my reason why abortion is not always the answer.
I suffered miscarriages (multiple) throughout my child bearing years (I have had a hysterectomy). I have suffered the grief and loss of my child disappearing from my womb with no fault of my own. I have cried a million tears over these babies and I believe that I will meet them someday in Heaven. I do believe that life begins at conception. I do believe that life is precious. I believe that abortions are killing a person. You can argue the anatomy. You can argue the science with me. I know the science. I know the justifications people give. I just don't agree.
Look, I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't have a choice. I wouldn't take away someone else's freedom to what to do with their body. The only thing I can tell you is that sometimes the most unplanned things in life turn out to be the greatest. Sometimes the most wonderful blessings in life come from things that you prayed against and that you said you'd never do. Sometimes it just takes a little faith in whatever you believe in to be given a great blessing. What you want to get rid of, another mother is begging to have. I plead with you to consider adoption instead of abortion. I plead with you to consider what the long term consequences might be on your emotions. Your body is your choice but I beg you to think it through.
My precious little girl is my reason that I couldn't ever have an abortion. What is yours?
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