Divorce Sucks

This is going to be a short but sweet post and it's got a very specific audience: divorced moms.  I will preface by saying that I'm part of this group.  I will also say that I'm not trying to pass judgment.  Instead, I'm trying to give you a helpful tidbit of advice. Here goes....

Dear Divorced Mom:
Divorce is hard.  It doesn't matter what the cause or how hard the process was; it sucks.  If you suffered through your spouse cheating, I'm so sorry for you.  If you were the cheater, I'm even more sorry because you will spend the rest of your life worried that your future significant others will cheat.  If there was abuse, good for you for getting out.  If you claimed abuse just to give your ex a bad name, shame on you.  The point is that there are a million reasons for a divorce, including irreconcilable differences. Whatever the reason is, it happened and I'm sorry you had to go through the process because it's hard no matter what.  No matter how much we try to make light of it, it sucks.
Here's the point I want to get across to you....It's not about you.  It's about your kids.  Let's be honest: it's easy to focus your attention on your hurt.  It's easy to be selfish and just focus on your hurt.  It's easy to be angry and want to rally the troops.  Those things are easy.  You're better than that.  If you need counseling, go through counseling.  If you need to just talk it out with your close friends, do it.  If you need to sort through it yourself, sort through it. Stop bringing your kids down.  If your ex is paying his child support, don't tell your kids how broke you are because of him.  If your ex is trying to spend time with him, understand that his rules may be different than yours but he's doing the best he can.  If your ex is making the effort to be a good dad, be thankful; not every guys does this.  Focus your attention on making your kids' lives the best lives possible and that means not dealing with the bickering BS you're putting out there.
Sincerely,
A Divorced Mom Who's Sick of BS

(Before I get posts a  go-go...yes, I realize this isn't every divorced mom and yes I realize divorced dads can be guilty too.  The point of this is to look inward and see what you're doing and if it's benefiting your child)