Anyone else notice how there are some kids that are breast fed that are super clingy and some that are bottle fed that are super clingy? Do you notice how some that are started on solids early are picky eaters or have allergies and some that aren't started until way late are picky eaters and have allergies? Have you seen that some babies that use pacifiers don't speak as clearly and others speak just fine? For every parent that wants to say that making a particular parenting decision will ultimately decide how your child turns out, there is another parent with an opposing view saying the same thing. There are doctors and studies that will support either argument on most issues and you'll hear a different opinion from damn near every person you ask. One will tell you to spank while another will say time out and yet another will tell you that you should reason with your child. Here are some of my favorite parenting myths...
He's using you as a pacifier. Breastfeeding moms are bombarded with this one. The myth is that the baby is only nursing to comfort themselves as opposed to be hungry. Reality is that breast milk isn't quite as filling as formula and metabolizes faster so sometimes breastfeeding babies just need to nurse more. Reality is also that the argument is moot. It doesn't matter if the baby is using its mother as a pacifier. It's THEIR business. If the baby needs the mother to comfort him for a little while, so be it. If they're still doing this when he goes to college, then we'll talk.
A pacifier will make your child need braces So not true. I didn't use a pacifier or suck my thumb and had AWFUL teeth that required years of braces. There are plenty of others like me. There are also plenty of people that had pacifiers or sucked their thumbs as toddlers who didn't need braces. Realistically speaking, yes, if your child is still using a pacifier or sucking their thumb in their preschool years, it is far more likely it can move their teeth around. This is specific to those that do it constantly. A baby with a pacifier does not necessarily mean that it'll be a teenager with braces.
If they tell you when they've pooped, they're ready to potty train. Every child is different but ability to identify that they've pooped doesn't mean readiness to potty train. It's a great step in the right direction but it's not a definitive reason to run out and get undies. Here's the deal: kids need to be able to pull up and down their pants on their own, identify before they've pooped or peed, etc before you should really push hard to potty train. Some of them will actually regress if you push it too early. I'm all for buying the potty and letting them try when they ask but understand that trying doesn't mean they're ready.
Spanking makes your kids learn to hit so if you don't spank, they won't learn it. Lies, all lies. Yes, spanking in anger can teach your kids to hit. I am a believer that spanking (when not in anger) when discipline is needed does not teach them hitting. Exhibit A, my kids were swatted when they were younger and they don't hit each other or anyone else. They aren't violent, angry, physical children. As the matter of fact, they're laid back for the most part. Spanking does NOT automatically mean you're going to have a violent child. Choosing NOT to spank does not automatically mean you'll have a brat. Different things work for different kids.
and finally....
Kids have to learn anatomically correct names from the start or they get sexually confused. This is a huge myth, in my opinion. I didn't know the correct anatomical terms from the start and I'm far from sexually confused. I think people put far too much stock in unimportant things. Different parents use different terms and kids can be sexually confused either way.
I guess my point is that one particular parenting decision is not the end-all, be-all decision maker in whether or not kids will end up with a particular issue. Educate yourself on all different approaches, but ultimately follow your heart and realize that parenting was done for generations before books on parenting existed. You have it inside you to be a great parent. Believe in yourself.
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