For anyone confused on the topic, I'd like to educate a little bit on the etiquette of most break ups (at least for serious relationships and/or marriages). Of course, these are strictly experience and observation based opinions.
The ones who trash talk the most are the ones that are normally at fault. Of course, it takes two to tango but the fact is that there is usually one party who is "at fault" in a larger part of the break up. The one that feels the need to trash talk the other the most. If they were innocent, they wouldn't feel the need to defend themselves.
There is always at least one monstrous liar. There's always one (aka the one at fault) that will lie about every aspect of the break up. They make the other person out to be a monstrous liar and tell all sorts of stories about what the other person is doing. It's usually reflective of what THEY'VE done. For instance, an abuser will accuse the other party of abuse. An instigator will accuse the other person of instigating.
There is often a free loader. There's often that one person that feels the need to either take someone to court for alimony (which is, more often than not, a load of crap since there's not a reason most of these spouses can't survive on their own just fine) or live in the house/apartment as long as they can to avoid having to pay their mortgage. They spend spend spend while the other person works hard to do everything they can to keep their heads above water.
There is almost always a person that doesn't care about their crap...they just want out. Let's face it...a lot of the time, this is the guy in the relationship but it's not always. There's often someone that just wants out of the relationship and wants to be done.
There is almost always a person that wants things that AREN'T theirs. They are the people that think that they EARNED what the other person worked for and that they EARNED the right to take things that don't belong to them.
and finally....
The jerk in the relationship never realizes what they had until it's gone. If you're the jerk, you may have lived this already or you may be living this right now. Keep watch! You're gonna crash hard later on.
The reality of life is that break ups happen and if you're the bigger person, I give you insane amounts of positive energy. There is no relationship worth your health or well-being and there is no amount of "stuff" that is worth your health or well-being either. Know that good things will come back to you for your efforts. For the jerk, know that everyone always gets their godsmack....always. May the force be with you when it happens.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Lessons of 2014
As the year comes to a very different end than I expected at its start, I choose to reflect on the positive from the year. The reality is that every single thing that happens, even the bad stuff, has the potential to teach you a lesson. Here are a few lessons I learned this year.....
You can't make a leopard change its spots This is something that a lot of people know right off the bat. I, unfortunately, have an empathetic spot in my body that consumes me. I like to think the best of people and, unfortunately, it blinds me to this truth. You absolutely can't make a leopard change its spots. You should, instead, admire the leopard for what it is but know that its territory might not be a domestic situation.
There are certain things that all kids are going to do because they're kids Of course there are some things kids will try just because they're kids. They'll try lying or maybe stealing small things. They'll try copping attitudes. The reality is that kids are kids and they're going to try things and you just have to roll with the punches and realize that just because they OCCASIONALLY do things that you don't like, they are not bad kids. They're just kids.
Sometimes, when you let go you find the most wonderful surprises of all. Sometimes when you're in the midst of a cruddy situation, you start to think that there is no rainbow. The reality is that sometimes letting go surprises you. In short, you only see the small picture but God sees the big picture and knows exactly how to work things out to be perfect for you.
There is at least a little bit of God in everything. Even in the worst of situations, God's there. He's there when you're mourning. He is there when you're stressed beyond belief. The trick is looking for Him instead of focusing on the bad stuff.
I can do it. As scared as I get sometimes, I can absolutely achieve anything I put my mind to because God has shown me that over the past few years. I'll hit hurdles but I can always overcome them.
and finally.....
Change is inevitable. Most particularly with people, change is inevitable. People change and grow constantly. If they're focusing their life on being better people, they change their habits for the positive. If they're focused inward and only concerned about themselves, they change their habits for the positive. They never truly change who they are at their core but people will either change their habits to improve or to become worse examples.
Despite a somewhat scattered end to the year, I'm looking forward to 2015 and all that it holds. Who knows? This may be the year that changes everything for the positive :)
You can't make a leopard change its spots This is something that a lot of people know right off the bat. I, unfortunately, have an empathetic spot in my body that consumes me. I like to think the best of people and, unfortunately, it blinds me to this truth. You absolutely can't make a leopard change its spots. You should, instead, admire the leopard for what it is but know that its territory might not be a domestic situation.
There are certain things that all kids are going to do because they're kids Of course there are some things kids will try just because they're kids. They'll try lying or maybe stealing small things. They'll try copping attitudes. The reality is that kids are kids and they're going to try things and you just have to roll with the punches and realize that just because they OCCASIONALLY do things that you don't like, they are not bad kids. They're just kids.
Sometimes, when you let go you find the most wonderful surprises of all. Sometimes when you're in the midst of a cruddy situation, you start to think that there is no rainbow. The reality is that sometimes letting go surprises you. In short, you only see the small picture but God sees the big picture and knows exactly how to work things out to be perfect for you.
There is at least a little bit of God in everything. Even in the worst of situations, God's there. He's there when you're mourning. He is there when you're stressed beyond belief. The trick is looking for Him instead of focusing on the bad stuff.
I can do it. As scared as I get sometimes, I can absolutely achieve anything I put my mind to because God has shown me that over the past few years. I'll hit hurdles but I can always overcome them.
and finally.....
Change is inevitable. Most particularly with people, change is inevitable. People change and grow constantly. If they're focusing their life on being better people, they change their habits for the positive. If they're focused inward and only concerned about themselves, they change their habits for the positive. They never truly change who they are at their core but people will either change their habits to improve or to become worse examples.
Despite a somewhat scattered end to the year, I'm looking forward to 2015 and all that it holds. Who knows? This may be the year that changes everything for the positive :)
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