The Great Debate on Vaccination

In the midst of an outbreak of measles in our country, it's inevitable that the vaccine discussion come up at some point in time.  There are so many big stories about people who are asking their children's schools to ban unvaccinated children to protect their kids.  There are news stories about the "fear" that Superbowl attendees will be exposed (since there are cases in Arizona from a clinic).  It seems that there is a very polarizing debate on the issue that didn't necessarily exist as definitively until this outbreak began.  So here are my Heatherisms on the issue.....

Vaccination is a choice that each parent needs to make for themselves.  I personally choose to vaccinate.  I researched and decided that the possible side effects of the vaccines were small compared to the possibility of my child contracting one of the diseases that the vaccines prevent.  Not everyone views it in this fashion and some children simply are unable to receive the vaccines for a variety of reasons.  It should NOT be mandated by the government and it should NOT be something that anyone else can decide for you.  It's a personal choice that each parent needs to make for themselves.

Choosing NOT to vaccinate shouldn't be based on a trend.  There are a lot of people who choose not to vaccinate who have read the articles, done the research and made an educated choice.  There are also a large chunk of people who choose not to vaccinate that are doing it based on a couple of articles and a growing trend of people who choose to avoid them.  Your choice to vaccinate should be based on true research and education, not a trend.

There IS risk involved to both choices.  Even a skilled pediatrician can tell you that there are side effects to vaccines (though, as I said, I believe them to be minimal comparatively).  With that being said, a choice NOT to vaccinate does run its own risks.  Measles was eradicated in our country years ago and is now raring it's ugly head.  Even young children who HAVE been vaccinated can be infected with this disease as sometimes the original vaccination (without the additional booster that gets administered before reaching school age), toddlers and preschoolers can come down with this disease. 

People have a right to fear your choice to not vaccinate.  In my humble opinion, my choice to vaccinate doesn't affect a non-vaccinating parent.  My child is not going to spread a communicable disease to them BECAUSE of my choice.  However, a non-vaccinating parent's choice can affect a vaccinating parent's child.  People have a right to fear your choice and to act accordingly.  I'm not suggesting that some of the extreme measures people are currently suggesting are necessary.  What I AM saying is that it's understandable and normal for people to react.

and finally.....

There are consequences to your actions (whichever choice you make).  Sometimes people in our current society get so overwhelmingly entitled that they forget that there are consequences to every action, good and bad.  For instance, some doctors office are choosing to not accept new patients that choose not to vaccinate.  I would absolutely and wholeheartedly support these doctors in their choice.  If you choose to not vaccinate, you are affecting a wider population than just your family.  If you are excluded from certain places and/or activities, that is a direct consequence of your choice.  It is NOT some sort of "let's get a lawyer and sue them for discrimination" issue.  It's a consequence of your choice.

Happy Birthday to My Sweet Girl! :)

TBT-The Crazies

TBT- The Crazies

I look at this picture and I think of how far we've come... Just how proud I am of them.

Love and Hate in the NFL World

This is a video of JJ Watt doing a box jump over Jimmy Kimmel.  His down-home Midwestern roots and relaxed skills make him a cool guy but his mad skills make him an incredible player.  THIS kind of stuff is why I love JJ Watt.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK23q1cbbx4


Now THIS is a video of Marshawn Lynch's Superbowl media day interview.  His ridiculous ego and bad attitude make him an asshat (though his mad skills make him an incredible player).  THIS kind of stuff is why I can't stand Marshawn Lynch on a personal level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1kvwXsZtU8

Surveys....

So I've become a bit of a junkie for completing the surveys on the bottom of receipts.  Sure, there are surveys that offer entries into contests.  Sure, there are surveys that give you extra points on your rewards cards, but I've been completing them all.  I know, crazy right?  Just follow me for a minute....

When I worked for the studio, we were constantly monitored for our customer service skills and the happiness of the customers.  If our studio had no surveys come in, we got crap for it.  If we got bad reviews, we (obviously) got crap for it.  If we got good reviews, we got a pat on the back and a "good girl/boy" from it.  The fact is that we learned very quickly that our reviews were not considered "good" unless we got the top score on every single question.  When I became the manager, I became dead set on meeting every standard from the surveys.  Reason being?  I didn't want to cheat the survey.  I wanted to give the customer the best possible experience (a value that still sticks with me today).

Recently, I've had some very extreme visits at stores/restaurants.  Some of them are FANTASTIC experiences with great staff.  Some of them are appalling experiences with awful staff.  I guess my point is that everyone has bad days BUT you should be held accountable and/or rewarded for your customer service skills if you work that sort of a job.  In my line of work, I can't go to work and half-ass it for the day.  I'm rewarded based on the work I do and the service I provide.  It's the same for most people.  It seems, however, that a lot of people in the customer service field have developed this attitude of entitlement.  It seems that they expect the customer to appease THEM before they behave politely.

Please don't get me wrong because I don't believe that it's a majority of the workers in this field.  I do believe that people that very comfortable in their job and stop making true customer service their top priority.  You can definitely tell the stand-out workers that really give a damn and work hard and I dig that.  I make sure to reflect that on surveys.  I'm  very honest and try to be as generous as possible on these surveys.  I try to add extra text when prompted to make sure that I'm genuinely attempting to help any issues that need resolved instead of just mindlessly checking boxes.

I guess my point in all of this is that I'm making my small contribution to attempting to reflect my great or really terrible experiences in the way that the businesses request.  If I get extra points or an entry from it, so be it.  Either way, I'm doing my part to review.

My tech wish list

My laptop hates me.  I'm convinced that it absolutely does.  I'm also convinced that I need a separate computer from the family....one that I can use without anyone downloading or bogging it down. Haha.  So here's my tech happy (even though I am tech lame) list of what I'd like on the tech front if I had the money to do it....

Tablets for all of the kids.  They often have to do research so this would be beneficial.

Tablet for me.  Just for fun....shopping, etc

Desktop computer for the kids with printer, etc.  This way, when they want to type something for school, it's right there and no wait.

New laptop for me.  A very nice, new laptop for me.

A new cell phone.  I'm seriously debating between an S5 and a Note 4 because both are nice and I'm an Android junkie.

A Bluetooth stereo system in my car.  MUCH easier to play my music when I want.

MP3 players/I Pods for the family.  Nuff said.

A bunch of new lenses for my camera (if it was a lottery win, maybe even a new body for the camera). 

Special Monthly Fun for January!

In trying to keep with my resolution with the kids to do something special at least once a month, I decided that Sunday was the day.  I fished gift cards out of my purse and made a plan that would keep the price low but the fun level acceptable to my group of crazies.  We ended up with Jamba Juice first.  The Jamba Juice in Belmar is a nice location.  It's nested amongst my kind of retail shops and a nice clean store and very nice staff.  In fact, I was incredibly impressed with my cashier/smoothie barista (if you will).  The Aloha Pineapple smoothie was amazing and the kids all loved theirs as well.
We headed off to Taco Bell next.  I can't say I was happy with the wait that we endured there (ten minute sitting in the parking lot waiting for someone to bring out our completely NORMAL order) but I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that 12:15 on a Sunday wasn't a good time to come in.  See how that sarcasm is dripping.  I think they were underprepared but the food was good and I got my nacho cheese fix.
Then we embarked on a trip to Walmart to choose a game.  I am in love with the SuperWalmart in the Belmar area.  Self checkouts, nice staff, clean location and always has what I want.  It's quickly becoming my new Walmart location.   We ended up choosing "Guesstures".  We also chose a treat to eat with our game.
So after dinner last night, we cleaned up and started playing the game.  I don't think we stopped laughing the whole time.  My impression of a duck had the kids rolling and their responses/guesses to things were cracking me up.  "It's a zombie.....a butterfly.....".  Special monthly fun WIN!

New Hair?

I'm aiming for something a little different and I opted to go straight with a few layers but keep the length.  Next up....color. 

Best Stories

Favorite news stories of the week.......

http://thebiglead.com/2015/01/22/miss-canada-wore-an-insane-hockey-themed-dress-during-miss-universe-prelims/
Miss Canada wore a kickass hockey themed dress capped off with a Stanley Cup on her head.  Amazing!

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/01/19/snake-bite-corinth-lowes/22013801/
Man that is shopping in a Lowe's gets bit by a snake when he opens a cabinet.  Yeah I'm not completely snake-a-phobic but this would be enough to freak me out.

http://www.kcrg.com/subject/news/man-eluding-police-stopped-in-mid-pursuit-to-drop-daughter-off-at-school-20150116
This guy was on a high speed chase with the police but stopped to drop off his daughter at school.  Now THAT'S a stand up guy.

and finally.....

http://nypost.com/2015/01/13/wife-chops-off-cheating-husbands-penis-twice/
Technically last week's story but yikes.  This lady was REALLY PISSED about her cheating husband.  I mean, sneaking into the hospital to cut it off and throw it out the window....yikes!

Negative people

Inevitably, in life, people are going to see what they want to see and gear what they want to hear. It doesn't matter how clearly you express yourself to some people. They are built to argue. They are built to find the needle of negativity in your haystack of life. They will always find a way to criticize and always find a way to find fault. These negative people will suck the energy right out of you and make you believe that you are the cause of their discomfort and unhappiness in their own life. The truth, though, is that they can't make you feel that way unless you let them. They don't have that power in your life unless you give it away to them. In my personal life, I have a lot of family and even some people I have considered to be close friends that do this.

So what's the answer to dealing with them? In learning this myself.....

1. Eliminate the toxic people. Reality is that any big change in life requires the removal of toxins. You have to get rid of the bad to make room for the good. I'm not suggesting you burn bridges in every direction but that you peacefully make some distance in whatever timing you find suitable.

2.  Make the neutral people a neutral point in your life. If they're not helping or hurting, they're neutral. Do not fall into the trap of making them your priority!

3. Embrace the great people. Don't fall for the tale that those that you love will never hurt you. Hurt is inevitable in love (emotionally speaking.) Anger, sadness, and frustration  happen in ANY type of relationship at some point. The trick is to understand that your truly great friends, family and lover/spouse are the people you can't stop thinking about and loving no matter how mad you get. They are the people you share everything with and the people you can't imagine living without. They are the people you imagine in every future you imagine.

I'm learning to embrace my great people regardless. I'm thankful for their place in my life.

Deflate-Gate

It's all over the news in the sports world today that 11/12 game balls in the AFC Championship game were under-inflated. There is a mass of people that believe the Patriots shouldn't go to the Superbowl because of this. Then there are the people that say it wouldn't have mattered. I have mixed feelings and a few questions. Here are my thoughts.....

WHO KNEW ABOUT IT? Realistically game balls are supposed to be examined two hours before kickoff. How was this missed or how were they swapped if they were checked?

SHOULD THE TEAM BE PUNISHED IF THEY DIDN'T KNOW? We may never know if the team knew. It's a he said she said. If they didn't know, should they be punished? They're not responsible for checking the balls. It's like punishing the kids for a parent's crime.

HOW DID AN AMAZING QB LIKE TOM BRADY NOT NOTICE UNDERINFLATION? If I'm being fair, it was cold. Maybe since they all, more or less, felt the same he thought he was just cold and feeling strange because of it. With that being said, you gotta wonder if he noticed.

SHOULD THEY HAVE TO FORFEIT THE SUPERBOWL? Like so many things about the NFL, the policy is clearly stated. They are punished with a fine and loss of draft pick. Maybe the policy will change in the future but you can't change the rules now or you're no better than the cheaters themselves.

DID IT AFFECT THE OUTCOME? Maybe, maybe not. Realistically the Patriots are a superior team. My opinion is that they would have won anyway.

In my humble opinion, if the Patriots do win the Superbowl, there will be a proverbial asterisk by their win (though not literal). There will be controversy over fairness but the truth is that they outplayed the Colts...period. They deserved the championship....period. Now excuse me while I go pour acid on my tongue for giving props to a team I despise. It's all out of respect for the game as a whole.

Walmart's Price Match Guarantee....Limitations

Walmart is changing its price match again....at least the Walmart by my house is.  Yesterday, with a cart full of groceries and more, I had the cashier haggle me on the price match information that was good the last time I shopped there (two weeks ago) that they are supposedly changing now.  So here's what I was told....

First, I was told that they will not price match on store brand products.  I have price matched at Walmart for years and this has not ever been the case. 

Then, I was told that they don't price match on deals of buy 5, save $5 (etc) or 10/$10 deals.  Now this has always depended on the cashier to some degree but it was still irksome.

Third, she told me there was a limit on the number of items I could price match.  This AFTER she'd scanned an entire cart of groceries and I'd TOLD her at the start, I would be price matching and I was setting those items aside so that she wouldn't have to hassle with them at the end.

Finally, she told me I couldn't price match AND use a coupon.  Let me tell you something, sister, I've been doing it for years.  I could care less about your new manager cracking down.  This is malarkey.

In short, I will no longer be doing any grocery shopping at Walmart (though I'll still buy toiletries there, etc if necessary).  If you are going to up and change policies and leave your loyal customers out on the line to dry, I'm not interested in spending hundreds of dollars there.  I'll go to King Soopers where I may or may not spend a little bit more money but at least I'll gain discounts on fuel and I can coupon to my heart's desire.

Shame on you, Walmart, shame on you.

10 Playoff Facts from this Weekend

1.  Anything can happen in the playoffs.  I'm sure a lot of people that were watching the first half of the NFC Championship game thought it was in the bag.  The Seahawks came back (despite my VERY CLEAR desire for that to NOT happen).  It's being broadcast that some of their fans left the game early and had to watch from outside.  Serves you right.  Don't leave until the game is over!

2.  The Patriots dominate, especially with home field advantage.  The Patriots are just a superior team...period.  I love my Broncos but the Patriots kill it at home.

3.  You can win a game even if the ball is turned over five times in your opponent's favor.  The Packers had five turnovers in their favor and still lost (BARELY).

4.  You find yourself having to cheer for teams you HATE at playoff time.  I grew up in Chicago.  I was RAISED to hate the Packers.....fortunately for them, I hate the Seahawks more. LOL

5.  A lot of Broncos fans face a bit of a conundrum at this Superbowl.  Do you root for the team you hate or the team you hate?  My opinion?  AFC.  Period.  The NFC will never even come close to the AFC and the Seahawks need an attitude adjustment that I'm hoping Tom Brady will provide.

6.  Richard Sherman is an asshat.  Well that's not something new from this weekend but it remains true regardless.

7.  It's much harder to hate Russell Wilson than Tom Brady.  Russell just seems like a really nice guy, much like Aaron Rodgers (who I also can't hate despite hating his team).  Tom Brady may or may not be nice but he comes across as an arrogant pretty boy.

8.  Rob Gronkowski is a BEAST!  Again, not incredibly new news but he is.  The dude is a beast!

9.  The Seahawks are favored to win the Superbowl.  I don't find this necessarily to be true, overall.  I hope the Patriots wipe the floor with the Seahawks.  The Seahawks do not have their 12th man home field advantage and the Patriots want revenge.

10  Kubiak is back in Denver!  Okay, this isn't Playoff-related but it's still the most amazing news of the weekend for this Broncos fan!

The Crazies

Frozen photo shoot

Happy Friday

Happy Friday!  I'm taking that phrase very seriously today and sharing a few of the little things in life that make me happy.  Here goes.....

My kids
My family
My Friends
Coffee
Good cell service in a waiting room
Mini Chewy sweet tarts
Seeing the sun rise over the mountains
Really high heels
Cuddling
The feel of the cool air on a sunny winter day
My little bitty frogs
Baseball caps
Football...especially Broncos Football
Hockey....especially Redwings Hockey (Avs are a close second)
"The League"
The last dance scene of "Dirty Dancing"
Cold beer...especially Coors Light
Painted toenails
Baking
Curling up with a really good book
The high you get from a really good jog
Yoga
Seeing my grocery bill plummet when they scan my savings card and coupons

The list goes on and on but these are a few of my favorites :)

Happy Friday.  Make it a good one.

Putting People in Boxes (Figuratively Speaking)

I had someone do one of my biggest pet peeves directly to me yesterday.  They turned a very eloquently stated comment about an NFL coaching possibility into a "she's a girl" comment.  Essentially they teamed up with their little guy friends and laughed off the girl even getting involved in the conversation.  Instead of getting mad or getting my feelings hurt, I handled it as an educated TRUE sports nut would.....I gave a very clear and present conversation on exactly what my point was, backed it up and blew their statement out of the water.  And then...they were silent.

My irritation is not a women's right issue.  It's not an issue of color, gender, religion or anything else of the like.  My issue is with putting people in boxes.  My issue is with making assumptions instead of truly listening to what someone has to say.  It's not just limited to a male vs female issue.  It's an issue that covers everyone in our country so here's the deal....

Every single person on this planet is a unique individual.  They have different abilities and different qualities.  They ALSO have different interests.  Realistically speaking, just because someone doesn't look like a "typical" something, doesn't mean that's not exactly what they are.  I know a lot of women who will dress in heels and cutesie clothes on a daily basis and then are dirty camo-wearing hunters on the weekends.  I know a lot of men who are all biker all week long and still have a delicate tea party and let their daughters put makeup on them on the weekends.  For me, I'm a stiletto wearing arty smarty all week long but get me at a game (or even watching sports) and I'm a completely different creature.

Instead of trying to assume things about others, you'd go a long way to remember not to judge a book by its cover.  You never know what amazing things you're passing up by making judgments.

When Reality Slaps You in the Face

There are moments in life where reality slaps you square in the face.  Sometimes it's a light slap like having to wake up on Monday morning after a great weekend or the last day of vacation when you just don't want to leave.  Other times, these moments are bigger and more pronounced.  The slaps are harder and leave a bigger mark.  It hurts.  There's no other way to put it.  It hurts.  I've found that there are only a few things you can do that will truly help you cope in a healthy way.

CLEAR OUT THE CLUTTER AND REALLY LOOK AT THE ISSUE.  If you're lucky enough to have had an issue with another person, especially one that can clearly verbalize their feelings, you're at an advantage.  If the issue is with something else, it will take a bit more work but can still be accomplished.  Clear the emotional clutter around the issue.  Step away from the things and people that heavily influence your thinking and get a clear and realistic idea about what really happened.  Instead of trying to look at it only through your own eyes, take on eyes of others involved in the situation and try to see it from the outside looking in.  Dissect it, if you will, and figure out what led up to the slap.

RESOLVE.  Once you know what the problem is, you must resolve to prevent it.  There's nearly always something you can do to fix a situation (some exceptions being natural disasters and the like).  You might be able to change your approach to someone or something.  You might be able to change your environment a bit to make it a more approachable environment for something or someone.  Regardless, prevention is just as important if not more so than diagnosis.

PUT MEASURES IN PLACE TO HELP YOU.  Instead of just relying on sheer self-control, put measures into place to help you.  This is where you bring in the support system.  This is where you give yourself some sort of accountability.

MOVE ON.  Yes, reality is that no matter how big of a slap in the face it's been, dwelling on the issues will not help you a single bit.  It's not healthy for you or anyone else.  Resolve to realize that you can't change the past but you can change your approach in the future.

Time does heal all wounds but it doesn't do it on its own.  You have to get up and do something about it.  Time only works with you.

Some Baby Love for a Tuesday Morning

 

Snowman shoot

 

Baby new Year shoot

Monday....Blah

Monday comes too soon every week.  It's actually sort of a joke with most people.  What do you mean it's Monday....it was just Friday five minutes ago.  The reality is that making the best of your weekend doesn't make that Monday morning any less blah for most of us. 

So what would make it better....or easier.....or more fun?

The only answer I can find is to focus on a dream or a goal.  My dream would be to be a stay at home mom again.  I'd love to be able to drive my kids to school every morning and pick them up every afternoon.  I'd love to be at their school events.  I'd love to be able to help out the other moms around me when they need a hand.  I'd love to volunteer more.  Even if I was working, my dream would be to stay at home and take care of my household.

The catch?  I'd still want to have enough financially.  I'm not looking to be the wealthiest person on the planet.  I'd love to have enough to pay all of my bills, put money into savings, handle other necessary things (braces or new tires or a new water heater), and still have a little fun.  I wouldn't want to go out every single night but not to have to scrimp and save for every little trip somewhere.

I'd love to take my kids to Orlando and hit all of the parks....just one time.  I'd love to do all the Disney Parks, Sea World Orlando and Universal Orlando.  I'd love to swim with dolphins.  I'd love to show them St Augustine.  I'd love to give them all of the experiences I possibly can.  Then every year, I'd love to take a vacation somewhere else with them and experience new things.

I'd love to camp and hike and try new things.  I'd love to take my kids to explore.  I'd love to have a boat and jet skis and be out on the water regularly.  I'd love to have ATVs and other things to enjoy.  I'd love if a lot of our recreational time was spent outdoors doing new things.

I'd love to have the opportunity to do more for others.  I'd love to have the finances to make more care baskets or volunteer at a nursing home or run in a fun run in honor of someone I love.  I'd love to do more for others because I have the funds, time and resources to do so.

Focusing on dreams and goals is a great way to get through a Monday.  Dream big.  You never know when those dreams might come true.

Disappointed

After our loss to the Colts, there is already speculation beginning.  Will Peyton Manning retire?  Will John Fox be fired?  Will Demaryius, Julius, and the other free agents leave?  I don't have answers to that.  Here's what I do have an answer to....

Will I root for the Broncos regardless?  Yes.  Without a doubt.

The fact is that it's not about one man or three men or a coach.  It's about something bigger than that.  Do I want Peyton to play longer?  Yes...but only if that's what he wants.  A player who has decided to continue after he's lost his passion for the game is no better than a second string quarterback.  Peyton Manning is, by far, one of the greatest to ever play the game.  He is an incredible quarterback, a great person, and a tremendous leader.  I wish him well if he decides to leave but I'd love him back.

The Thomas's...amazing players.  Both of them.  I'd miss both of them and I'm sure I'd be a little bitter but they are both incredible and deserving of the best.

No matter what, I'll still root for my team.  Win or lose, Broncos baby!

In honor of the play offs....

In honor of the Broncos playing the Colts, one of my favorites.  My eight year old has such an intense love for sports and for the Broncos.  She was in Heaven watching them.

United in Orange Friday.....That is All

Missed Opportunities

I watched Nicole Kidman on "The Tonight Show" (with Jimmy Fallon) and she talked about how a mutual friend of theirs tried to introduce them.  Jimmy thought it was for a movie role and was given ten minutes notice.  Nicole thought he was cute and wanted to meet him to meet him.  They joked about how oblivious Jimmy was and how an opportunity had been lost but had turned out better in the long run.  They both had found love and had children.

All of this kind of took me back to my high school days and how many guys that I had crushes on that never responded to me at the time.  I was friendly but tended to not have enough self-confidence.  I never thought any of these guys would want to be with a girl like me.  The truth is that they probably wouldn't.  I wasn't into the same things.  I was very focused on my education and on what I'd be doing down the road.

Now, ironically, I've been approached by some of these same "boys" (who are now, for all practical purposes, considered men) that wonder why they passed me up back then.  Clearly I improved with age (which is not something that all women do, despite the expression).  The fact is that I don't look back and think that I missed something.  I look back and think what a character building experience that was for me.  I look back and think of what I DIDN'T miss.  I look at my life now and think that I'm thankful that I was a late bloomer.  It's made me who I am today.

The point is that sometimes people want to live in the past.  They want to think about how someone wronged them or how they missed an opportunity.  They want to think about how life was unfair to them or how if they'd have just gotten "this", then they would have "that."  The truth it, your life is exactly where it is today because that's exactly where it's supposed to be.  Whether you believe in God or Buddha or Allah or whatever else you may believe in, it still stands true.  Whether you want to call it karma or just call it life, it still stands true.  Life's funny like that.  You will look back years from now and think, "Man, that's exactly what needed to happen."  Enjoy the moment and live life to the fullest.  God has a plan.

Sending Your Sick Kid to School

I want to preface this by saying that I understand the concept of single parenting better than anyone can imagine and that I understand that I it's difficult to find a solution if your child is truly sick.  I am not, by any means, trying to go after them or make their life harder by criticizing.  This goes out to the parents who HAVE the ability to do something but don't.

It is ironic to me, in this day and age, that people are so blasé about sending their kids to school sick.  I'm not talking about the common cold and sniffles.  In my humble opinion, it's actually good for most kids to be around the common cold and build their immune system on something manageable.  My problem lies with the parents who send their kids to school after throwing up or having strep throat or having the flu.  Here's why....

Teachers are already big bullseyes for illnesses.  Their immune systems have to be on par with medical staff at doctor's offices (in my opinion).  They already have to miss classes for their learning conferences and other such required things.  When you add in a child throwing up a foot and a half from your desk, you're basically screwed for immunity.  The reality of it is that you are infecting your child's teacher, almost certainly, and then complaining that you're dealing with substitute teachers.

Let's also include the other students in this as well as bus drivers, office staff, parent volunteers and whoever else happens to be there.  You're, essentially, causing your child to be patient zero because you're too lazy to keep them home.  Look, I know you have a lot to accomplish and you want to save your sick days from work for yourself but when you decided to have a child, you agreed to put them first.  Sending them to school when they threw up 12 hours ago and can barely eat is NOT putting them first.  It's putting your work project first.

I am the first to say that working from home would be an ideal job because of instances just like this.  I understand that there are parents that don't get sick days.  With that being said, it's unfair to punish the mass majority because you don't have that option.  Build your support system because you're going to need it.  Here are a few Heather pointers, as well....

Do NOT send your child to school if they've thrown up in the past 24 hours.  I don't care if it's been 21 hours and they "seem okay."  Guess what?  The energy it takes to get ready for school and go to school may reignite that illness.  Sick children need REST!  Don't make excuses for how it was a fluke.  Maybe it was, but don't risk everyone else's health for a possibility.

If your child has a rampant history of strep throat and he comes to you with a sore throat and can't swallow, do NOT send him to school.  Take him to the doctor.  Not only are there serious repercussions for untreated strep but there are also serious repercussions for the other people around him.  He WILL pass it on and you WILL likely get it back.

If your child has a severe double ear infection, do NOT send them to school while they're still hurting.  No, the ear infection isn't contagious but the virus that caused the cold that caused the ear infection is.  The fact is, a sick child needs REST!

I don't care how much energy they seem to have at home.  Your sick child needs to stay at home.  Energy is relative and school takes up a lot of it.  You're actually hurting them worse to send them to school while their immune system is already fighting off other things.

and finally....

If your child is complaining of an upset stomach or diarrhea and you KNOW that it's true, don't say, "Let's wait it out" and send them.  Here's the problem.  You KNOW when your child is sick.  You can tell the difference between a faker and a serious complaint.  Every time you doubt them on it and send them, you put everyone at risk.  You are a carrier for stomach bugs and can pass them on before you ever vomit.  Just food for thought.

In short, I guess what I'm saying is that you don't need to treat the world like your petri dish.  Maybe some of these flu outbreaks wouldn't happen if more people had respect for those around them.  I understand that jobs are a real pain for letting you have time off for your kids but find it.  You're the parent.  It's your job.

Continue Believing....Even if it looks like Nothing's happening

And now, a moment of inspirational motivation.......

Whether or not  you believe in God (and I very definitely do), you probably have a pull in your life; a little voice that sits inside your soul and tells you that it's all going to be okay.  You might have an idea of a goal you want to achieve or something in your life that you'd like to see changed in the future.  Maybe you want a car that runs better or a house where your kids don't share bedrooms.  Maybe you want a better job or to go back to school.  Maybe you want to build a business or maybe you want to lose weight.  This little voice is telling you that you can do it and that you just have to keep trying.

So what happens when you're trying you're best and nothing appears to be happening?

The wonderful thing about this great big world is that things aren't always what they seem.  The river that looks peaceful on the surface is raging underneath.  The volcano that looks to be calm is bubbling under the surface, ready to begin spewing smoke and lava.  Though it appears to be stagnant in your life on some level, it's not.  God is doing something wonderful underneath the surface and you're about to see greatness.  Truly amazing things are coming to you!

I have been praying over the same things for years, in some cases, and I wake up every morning with a hopeful heart.  I thank God for what I have already (because someone, somewhere is wishing they had things as "bad" as you think they are) and for what is yet to come.  Then I pray...and I pray BIG.  Go big or go home!  Pray for greatness and God will give you greatness!

All of this may seem ridiculous and you may be rolling your eyes but I challenge you to this much: try it for 30 days.  Every single day, wake up with a hopeful heart and thank God for what you have.  Pray for what you'd like to see happen.  If, after thirty days, your heart does not feel hopefully and joyous, despite the circumstances, you can make the decision to stop.  My belief, though, is that you'll feel different.  You'll feel hopeful, no matter what's happening.  You are going to achieve great things in 2015.  Believe.

Do Mean Girls Ever Grow Up?

With social media on the forefront these days, I began pondering whether or not mean girls ever really grow up.  Let me, first, give a clear explanation of what I mean by "mean girls."  I'm not necessarily talking about the extremity of meanness from the movie.  What I'm referring to is the following....

*Incessant need to talk about everyone else in a negative way.  Other girls can be minding their own business completely and will STILL be criticized for something they're doing or wearing.

*Competitive over everything...and if they don't win, the other girl's a slut.

*Manipulative....and I'm talking manipulative just to be hurtful.  For instance, you'll pull a girl into a room and ask her what she thinks of someone else only to discover that the "someone else" you're referring to is hiding in the closet.

*"The Attitude".  The holier than thou, entitled as hell attitude.

The list could go on and on but, chances are, you know the type of girl I'm referring to. 

My question is whether or not they truly grow up......

My personal experience is that most of them do not.  While you can't change a tiger's stripes, life experiences can sometimes change their habits.  I find that most of these mean girls continue their behavior into adulthood.  They continue to pick on other girls, that are now mothers themselves, and often pick on the children as well.  They reflect their hidden self-esteem issues onto other women to attempt to bring them down to their level.

Now let me tell you a secret: you don't have to respond to them.  Just like you were probably told as a child, you can completely ignore them.  The reality is that they're going to talk either way.  Those that truly love and know you won't believe them.  Those that don't know you well and don't care might believe them and they aren't worth your time.  The real sad truth, though, is that a good majority of people have their own lives and don't care.  Adult life isn't high school (despite what these mean girls would like to believe to relive the glory days of yore) and gossip only goes so far with non-famous people.  Let the mean girls wear pink on Wednesday and move on with your life knowing that your life does not depend on the unhappiness of someone else.

THAT House

When talking to a friend, yesterday, about how many extra kids I had hanging out at my house over the weekend, I had them tell me something that warmed my soul: Oh you're THAT house.  You know the one...the one that everyone flocks to because the parents don't yell about friends being inside the house.  We're the house that the kids feel safe coming to because, though there are rules, you're not getting yelled at over accidents.  We're the house that may NOT be big at all (and it's definitely not) but it's always big enough to have a couple more kids in it.  We're the house that always has a little bit of extra for dinner so, of COURSE you can stay.  We're the house that always has snacks around just in case.  We're the house that has an unlimited popsicles in the summer and a sprinkler to run through.  We're the house with the three lane slip and slide.  We're THAT house....and I love it.

Chocolate and Holy Water

It's been a long while since I've been able to speak about something truly comical on here so when the opportunity arose today, I had to take it.  My youngest has been saving this little mini candy bar for months now.  She is truly her mother's child (not as into candy and such) and didn't feel the need to eat it until she REALLY wanted it.  It was her favorite....a Hershey bar.  She stashed it and held onto it for months and I allowed it because I thought it was a great exercise in life lessons.

Yesterday, she goes to eat the deliciously coveted snack and finds that it has disappeared.  I gather the troops to ask who the guilty party is and my teenage daughter is the obvious culprit.  You know the look....head down, eyes averted, barely a whisper voice, toe forming continuous circles on the floor as she twirls her hair around her finger.  Yup, she's guilty.

I pull her aside (because I try not to embarrass them on these offenses--Embarrassment is saved for attitude-based offenses only) to ask her if she ate the chocolate and she admits that she did.  Her reasoning is priceless: "I don't know why but it's like sometimes every single month, I just want chocolate so bad and I just have to eat it."  You get a BYE on this one sweetheart.  Your body is becoming a force to be reckoned with.

As I sit here giggling to myself at the idea of PMS causing small crimes within my home, I begin to think that maybe I've been approaching this wrong.  Her monthly attitude has been approached, thus far, with squatting behind a chair to hide while throwing Midol at her and attempting to spray her with holy water.  Perhaps, I should instead be treating her as a puppy....feeding her Hersey kisses (puppy treats) and stroking her head.....Goooooooood teenager.  There you go.  Perhaps I shouldn't be approaching this premenstrual demon in fear but in gifts of sacrifice instead.

In all seriousness,  her horror at her inability to control her emotions is what gave her a bit of a break.  Poor kid doesn't even know what's coming. 

Kids and Responsibility

I had a little talk with my crazies yesterday about the new year and responsibility.  Parents seem to go one way or the other on this issue with very few residing in the gray area.  Either parents believe that kids need NO responsibility and that they should be allowed to "just be kids" or that they should have the bulk of the household responsibility and expect to act like adults.  Let me tell you: developmentally, even high schooler's minds are NOT that of adults.  That's why they shouldn't be allowed to make long term decisions at that age.  They are still developing a lot of the skills necessary to be healthy, responsible adults. 

I live in the gray area.  I do believe that there are certain responsibilities that you should give to your child to help them learn life skills.  Of course, these skills should be age appropriate.  You can't expect a four year old do correctly separate and wash laundry in the correct temperature.  However, even four year olds should be starting to learn life skills to guide them as they go.  Children can certainly be expected to clean their own bedrooms and put away their own clothes.  They definitely can make a bed correctly by second grade, if guided through the process to learn it.  Of course they can do things like dust or run a vacuum or maybe even load the dishwasher.  By junior high, they should be able to complete most any of the household chores if asked.

I believe that there are certain chores that should be done without pay.  These are the chores that are just  part of being a family.  I call these "team building" chores.  Just as I work, the kids go to school.  Just as I cook a meal, they can perform small tasks to help out around the house.  Since there are four kids and the house is not that big, it's not that difficult to have a productive household doing small tasks each day.

I believe that there are certain tasks that are above and beyond and these tasks can be paid tasks.  I don't believe in giving children $20 to shovel the driveway.  I think reasonable amounts should be expected.  The reason for this?  I fully expect my children to get a job when they are 16.  If they are used to getting paid $20/hour for minimal work, they will think that they are too good for a minimum wage job flipping burgers.  I believe that these minimum wage jobs can be true character builders for children and teach them the value of a dollar without overwhelming them.  It can teach them to save.

I also believe that kids can be responsible for their own homework after a certain point.  I don't believe that gender should play a role in whether or not they can complete the task.  With that being said, I do believe that you have to cater your method to TEACHING them to be responsible differently to each child.  I believe that checking in with them on a regular basis is important and helps to guide them in their path to responsibility.

Finally, I believe that kids need to learn to be responsible for their behavior.  There are jerky little kids all over anymore and they aren't taught manners or respect.  Kids need to learn to be responsible for their behavior and learn that just because someone is being mean doesn't mean THEY have to be mean too.  Just because someone is teasing doesn't mean THEY have to tease.  Just because someone is hurting others doesn't mean THEY have to hurt others.  Empathy and sympathy are two of the biggest keys to teaching kids about this, in my opinion.  Teach them to understand the effect that their actions have on others and their behavior will begin to change.

New Year's Day

I don't make resolutions but I strive to work on myself constantly throughout the year.  I don't need a specific date to make an effort to better myself.  With all of that being said, I will focus on certain things this year....

I will focus on creating small moments.  I will focus on finding little moments that I can make very special even if I'm not spending a dime to do it. Maybe I'm reading with the kids or watching TV or having a conversation while we eat.

I will focus on finding solutions to being exhausted instead of accepting it  I will focus on trying to find different ways to resolve my exhaustion or push through it when possible instead of just saying, "I'm tired" and letting that be that.

I will focus my attention on people who make me a priority just as much as I make them one.  I will make it a priority to focus my attention on the people who make ME a priority, not on the people who treat me like trash.

I will watch more hockey  I miss it.  Cable being gone is cost effective but it's also taking away what I love  I might have to go back to it.

I will love myself regardless  Regardless of what anyone else says or does, I will love myself.  Period.

I will believe in myself  I always sort of accept that where I am is where I have to be.  I will strive to achieve my dreams.

To my friends and family, may your new year create miracles and blessings and abundance in every area of your life.