For anyone confused on the topic, I'd like to educate a little bit on the etiquette of most break ups (at least for serious relationships and/or marriages). Of course, these are strictly experience and observation based opinions.
The ones who trash talk the most are the ones that are normally at fault. Of course, it takes two to tango but the fact is that there is usually one party who is "at fault" in a larger part of the break up. The one that feels the need to trash talk the other the most. If they were innocent, they wouldn't feel the need to defend themselves.
There is always at least one monstrous liar. There's always one (aka the one at fault) that will lie about every aspect of the break up. They make the other person out to be a monstrous liar and tell all sorts of stories about what the other person is doing. It's usually reflective of what THEY'VE done. For instance, an abuser will accuse the other party of abuse. An instigator will accuse the other person of instigating.
There is often a free loader. There's often that one person that feels the need to either take someone to court for alimony (which is, more often than not, a load of crap since there's not a reason most of these spouses can't survive on their own just fine) or live in the house/apartment as long as they can to avoid having to pay their mortgage. They spend spend spend while the other person works hard to do everything they can to keep their heads above water.
There is almost always a person that doesn't care about their crap...they just want out. Let's face it...a lot of the time, this is the guy in the relationship but it's not always. There's often someone that just wants out of the relationship and wants to be done.
There is almost always a person that wants things that AREN'T theirs. They are the people that think that they EARNED what the other person worked for and that they EARNED the right to take things that don't belong to them.
and finally....
The jerk in the relationship never realizes what they had until it's gone. If you're the jerk, you may have lived this already or you may be living this right now. Keep watch! You're gonna crash hard later on.
The reality of life is that break ups happen and if you're the bigger person, I give you insane amounts of positive energy. There is no relationship worth your health or well-being and there is no amount of "stuff" that is worth your health or well-being either. Know that good things will come back to you for your efforts. For the jerk, know that everyone always gets their godsmack....always. May the force be with you when it happens.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Lessons of 2014
As the year comes to a very different end than I expected at its start, I choose to reflect on the positive from the year. The reality is that every single thing that happens, even the bad stuff, has the potential to teach you a lesson. Here are a few lessons I learned this year.....
You can't make a leopard change its spots This is something that a lot of people know right off the bat. I, unfortunately, have an empathetic spot in my body that consumes me. I like to think the best of people and, unfortunately, it blinds me to this truth. You absolutely can't make a leopard change its spots. You should, instead, admire the leopard for what it is but know that its territory might not be a domestic situation.
There are certain things that all kids are going to do because they're kids Of course there are some things kids will try just because they're kids. They'll try lying or maybe stealing small things. They'll try copping attitudes. The reality is that kids are kids and they're going to try things and you just have to roll with the punches and realize that just because they OCCASIONALLY do things that you don't like, they are not bad kids. They're just kids.
Sometimes, when you let go you find the most wonderful surprises of all. Sometimes when you're in the midst of a cruddy situation, you start to think that there is no rainbow. The reality is that sometimes letting go surprises you. In short, you only see the small picture but God sees the big picture and knows exactly how to work things out to be perfect for you.
There is at least a little bit of God in everything. Even in the worst of situations, God's there. He's there when you're mourning. He is there when you're stressed beyond belief. The trick is looking for Him instead of focusing on the bad stuff.
I can do it. As scared as I get sometimes, I can absolutely achieve anything I put my mind to because God has shown me that over the past few years. I'll hit hurdles but I can always overcome them.
and finally.....
Change is inevitable. Most particularly with people, change is inevitable. People change and grow constantly. If they're focusing their life on being better people, they change their habits for the positive. If they're focused inward and only concerned about themselves, they change their habits for the positive. They never truly change who they are at their core but people will either change their habits to improve or to become worse examples.
Despite a somewhat scattered end to the year, I'm looking forward to 2015 and all that it holds. Who knows? This may be the year that changes everything for the positive :)
You can't make a leopard change its spots This is something that a lot of people know right off the bat. I, unfortunately, have an empathetic spot in my body that consumes me. I like to think the best of people and, unfortunately, it blinds me to this truth. You absolutely can't make a leopard change its spots. You should, instead, admire the leopard for what it is but know that its territory might not be a domestic situation.
There are certain things that all kids are going to do because they're kids Of course there are some things kids will try just because they're kids. They'll try lying or maybe stealing small things. They'll try copping attitudes. The reality is that kids are kids and they're going to try things and you just have to roll with the punches and realize that just because they OCCASIONALLY do things that you don't like, they are not bad kids. They're just kids.
Sometimes, when you let go you find the most wonderful surprises of all. Sometimes when you're in the midst of a cruddy situation, you start to think that there is no rainbow. The reality is that sometimes letting go surprises you. In short, you only see the small picture but God sees the big picture and knows exactly how to work things out to be perfect for you.
There is at least a little bit of God in everything. Even in the worst of situations, God's there. He's there when you're mourning. He is there when you're stressed beyond belief. The trick is looking for Him instead of focusing on the bad stuff.
I can do it. As scared as I get sometimes, I can absolutely achieve anything I put my mind to because God has shown me that over the past few years. I'll hit hurdles but I can always overcome them.
and finally.....
Change is inevitable. Most particularly with people, change is inevitable. People change and grow constantly. If they're focusing their life on being better people, they change their habits for the positive. If they're focused inward and only concerned about themselves, they change their habits for the positive. They never truly change who they are at their core but people will either change their habits to improve or to become worse examples.
Despite a somewhat scattered end to the year, I'm looking forward to 2015 and all that it holds. Who knows? This may be the year that changes everything for the positive :)
Friday, November 28, 2014
From October to Now....My Crazies
Anthony running track
Daniel running track
Anthony's annual pictures
Daniel's annual pictures
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Chahuli Exhibit at Denver Botanic Gardens
I won tickets to the Chahuli Exhibit at Denver Botanic Garden. While I had previously seen it about a decade ago in Atlanta, it had so many new exhibits and I was completely in love. The intricate designs and incredible colors blew my mind.
Awaiting "Baby A"
One of my closest friends, here in Colorado, is expecting her baby girl any day now and I was given the privilege of shooting her maternity shots.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Happy Colorado-versary
My Colorado-versary was two days ago. It was the day that I moved out here and embarked on the biggest adventure I'd ever been on. It was the scariest, but most wonderful time of my life and I don't think I could have been more mixed emotion through the months that followed. So here is what I've learned in the past year.....
Colorado Drivers get crazier the further away from Denver you get You'd think this would be the opposite. Not so. People are more inclined to cut you off and give you the finger in the outskirts. There are a lot more passholes out that way and there are DEFINITELY a lot more people with an inability to properly merge. Still, Colorado drivers are NOTHING compared to Georgia, Florida or California.
While we're on the topic, Denver drivers need merging lessons Maybe a lot of them are people that moved here as adults (as did I) but here's the deal: merging works like a deck of cards when you're in rush hour traffic. When you're NOT in rush hour traffic, it is NOT the responsibility of the highway drivers to speed up or slow down. The merger is responsible for getting up to pace and fitting into a properly sized gap. Period.
Eventually you start using "south" or "North" as opposed to "left" or "right." In the Midwest, when giving directions, it usually sounds like this: Go to the stop sign and turn right, then four blocks and turn left by the Safeway, three blocks down on the left is a brown building with red shutters where you'll turn left again. In the great state of Colorado, it sounds like this "Go to Vine Street and go South then turn East on Colorado." I find myself more and more using this terminology....thank God in Denver the mountains are always West. Hahahaha
The Denver Zoo is laid out perfectly I've visited the zoo a lot over the past year and I can tell you with complete and total honesty that I love the layout. The bathrooms are laid out in great locations, the animals are spread out but there is a definite easy path to follow to see them all without backtracking like crazy.
The ability to smoke marijuana here does not make everyone a stoner Okay I didn't really LEARN this but I'd like to state it. Just because we CAN smoke it here doesn't mean that we ALL do. I support the right but have no desire to do so.
You literally CAN'T go somewhere in Colorado without seeing something beautiful You could try...awfully hard....and it doesn't happen.
and finally....
This state is built to make people healthier I'm not gonna say that everyone here takes advantage of it but this state is definitely built to accommodate it. If you don't choose to hike, walk, bike, or do something else active, it's a choice. It's definitely readily available to you here.
So I guess the question is "do I love Colorado as much now as when I moved here?" The answer. NO. I love it MORE. I love living here and I feel more at home than I have in my entire life. I look forward to more adventures here. Happy Colorado-versary to me.
Colorado Drivers get crazier the further away from Denver you get You'd think this would be the opposite. Not so. People are more inclined to cut you off and give you the finger in the outskirts. There are a lot more passholes out that way and there are DEFINITELY a lot more people with an inability to properly merge. Still, Colorado drivers are NOTHING compared to Georgia, Florida or California.
While we're on the topic, Denver drivers need merging lessons Maybe a lot of them are people that moved here as adults (as did I) but here's the deal: merging works like a deck of cards when you're in rush hour traffic. When you're NOT in rush hour traffic, it is NOT the responsibility of the highway drivers to speed up or slow down. The merger is responsible for getting up to pace and fitting into a properly sized gap. Period.
Eventually you start using "south" or "North" as opposed to "left" or "right." In the Midwest, when giving directions, it usually sounds like this: Go to the stop sign and turn right, then four blocks and turn left by the Safeway, three blocks down on the left is a brown building with red shutters where you'll turn left again. In the great state of Colorado, it sounds like this "Go to Vine Street and go South then turn East on Colorado." I find myself more and more using this terminology....thank God in Denver the mountains are always West. Hahahaha
The Denver Zoo is laid out perfectly I've visited the zoo a lot over the past year and I can tell you with complete and total honesty that I love the layout. The bathrooms are laid out in great locations, the animals are spread out but there is a definite easy path to follow to see them all without backtracking like crazy.
The ability to smoke marijuana here does not make everyone a stoner Okay I didn't really LEARN this but I'd like to state it. Just because we CAN smoke it here doesn't mean that we ALL do. I support the right but have no desire to do so.
You literally CAN'T go somewhere in Colorado without seeing something beautiful You could try...awfully hard....and it doesn't happen.
and finally....
This state is built to make people healthier I'm not gonna say that everyone here takes advantage of it but this state is definitely built to accommodate it. If you don't choose to hike, walk, bike, or do something else active, it's a choice. It's definitely readily available to you here.
So I guess the question is "do I love Colorado as much now as when I moved here?" The answer. NO. I love it MORE. I love living here and I feel more at home than I have in my entire life. I look forward to more adventures here. Happy Colorado-versary to me.
Dear Matt Walsh...I Couldn't Disagree More about Joel Osteen
For a short time, I subscribed to Matt Walsh's blog on life. I didn't subscribe because I necessarily agreed or disagreed. I subscribed for a different point of view. It's nice to hear and educate yourself about other people's opinions to either strengthen your argument or strengthen your debate. It's also nice to know what other's think. I'm fascinated by people's viewpoints sometimes.
While I respect Matt Walsh's tell it like it is approach to everything, I sometimes think that he posts opinions just to cause raucous. This is both genius and idiotic. On one hand, he's dividing the crowd and causing people to read simply because he's got such a polarizing opinion. On the other hand, he's showing what a judgmental a-hole he is on certain topics. To be honest, I both respect the guy and...well think he's a judgmental a-hole. I think that he is an "arguer". He's always gonna look to be on the smaller side of the debate...and he's good at arguing his points. Still, I had to discontinue reading because I think he's small-minded and it's not worth my time.
His post that threw me over the edge was a post on how Joel Osteen is a heretic. I'm sorry. I couldn't disagree more. Heresy is defined as "belief or opinion contrary to orthodox religious (especially Christian) doctrine." There are two major issues with this. First of all, a belief is defined as "an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists". Joel Osteen (and his wife) firmly believe that they are doing Christ's work and who is to tell them that they aren't. Who is to say that anyone that is bringing salvation to lost souls is not doing Christ's work. After all, Christ commands us to do just that. The Bible can be interpreted in a million ways but it's very clear that God commands his followers to inform, save and baptize. Joel Osteen (and his wife) are doing that.
The second major issue is that heresy itself isn't distinct to Christianity. While widely associated with it, it is not the only religion that can be used in the context of this word. If this is the case, we're all heretics to some degree because very few religions believe ANY of the same things.
Walsh's blog post was designed to polarize people and make a villain out of Joel Osteen, a conspiracy theory if you will. The fact is that, in my humble opinion, Osteen is bringing people to God. He may not be doing it the way that others do it. He might make a hell of a lot of money doing it (which, by the way, he donates ALOT of...and let's not forget that Solomon was blessed by God and was filthy rich...just sayin). He might say things that can be taken out of context. The proof is in the pudding though. He is bringing people to God...and the people's bringing to God and creating more spiritual fruit and it's going on and on. You may not like his approach but he's doing it.
My final argument and disagreement on this piece is that he refers to Osteen as bringing people to "his God." Okay, big problem with that wording. Christianity is about worshiping a God that is VERY personal. God created each of us and, thus, speaks to us in very different ways. He doesn't speak to us in a way that is belittling or negative. He speaks to us in a way that is uplifting and teaching. Sometimes we don't like his approach but, the fact remains, people are different. They are going to experience God in different ways. Osteen may be bringing people to "his God" but once they accept Christ into their hearts, they experience God in their own way.
I support you, Joel Osteen. Despite the critics, I think you're a good man :)
While I respect Matt Walsh's tell it like it is approach to everything, I sometimes think that he posts opinions just to cause raucous. This is both genius and idiotic. On one hand, he's dividing the crowd and causing people to read simply because he's got such a polarizing opinion. On the other hand, he's showing what a judgmental a-hole he is on certain topics. To be honest, I both respect the guy and...well think he's a judgmental a-hole. I think that he is an "arguer". He's always gonna look to be on the smaller side of the debate...and he's good at arguing his points. Still, I had to discontinue reading because I think he's small-minded and it's not worth my time.
His post that threw me over the edge was a post on how Joel Osteen is a heretic. I'm sorry. I couldn't disagree more. Heresy is defined as "belief or opinion contrary to orthodox religious (especially Christian) doctrine." There are two major issues with this. First of all, a belief is defined as "an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists". Joel Osteen (and his wife) firmly believe that they are doing Christ's work and who is to tell them that they aren't. Who is to say that anyone that is bringing salvation to lost souls is not doing Christ's work. After all, Christ commands us to do just that. The Bible can be interpreted in a million ways but it's very clear that God commands his followers to inform, save and baptize. Joel Osteen (and his wife) are doing that.
The second major issue is that heresy itself isn't distinct to Christianity. While widely associated with it, it is not the only religion that can be used in the context of this word. If this is the case, we're all heretics to some degree because very few religions believe ANY of the same things.
Walsh's blog post was designed to polarize people and make a villain out of Joel Osteen, a conspiracy theory if you will. The fact is that, in my humble opinion, Osteen is bringing people to God. He may not be doing it the way that others do it. He might make a hell of a lot of money doing it (which, by the way, he donates ALOT of...and let's not forget that Solomon was blessed by God and was filthy rich...just sayin). He might say things that can be taken out of context. The proof is in the pudding though. He is bringing people to God...and the people's bringing to God and creating more spiritual fruit and it's going on and on. You may not like his approach but he's doing it.
My final argument and disagreement on this piece is that he refers to Osteen as bringing people to "his God." Okay, big problem with that wording. Christianity is about worshiping a God that is VERY personal. God created each of us and, thus, speaks to us in very different ways. He doesn't speak to us in a way that is belittling or negative. He speaks to us in a way that is uplifting and teaching. Sometimes we don't like his approach but, the fact remains, people are different. They are going to experience God in different ways. Osteen may be bringing people to "his God" but once they accept Christ into their hearts, they experience God in their own way.
I support you, Joel Osteen. Despite the critics, I think you're a good man :)
Football, Interests and The Sound of Music
So you're not a football fan and you feel the need to post this on your page.....constantly.....during the whole football season.....as if fellow fans don't know that you're not a fan of football....or any sport....or that they care.
Ironically enough, I see your post and I laugh....the first three or four times. After that, it is redundant. I get it. You don't give two tiny rats' asses who wins the football games...or if there's a football game on. I get that your significant other (or a family member or friend) drives you crazy talking about fantasy football or "that play" or anything else. I get it. I do. Here's the thing....
Everyone has their interests. I'm certainly not going to rip on someone for their love of art or decorating. I won't rip on someone who is only interested in running or reading or hiking or a certain TV show. I DEFINITELY won't rip on someone interested in politics or history or even give you too much shit for a constant posting of "sexy" women/men with a "Happy __fill in the day of the week__" sign. To each his own buddy. Variety is the spice of life and I like things extra spicy.
With all of that being said, yes. I constantly post about football during football season...and counting down until football season....and AFTER football season. I'm the same way about hockey. It's something I love and I see no reason that I can't talk about it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Let's agree to disagree on whether or not football is awesome. I'll read your million posts about how "Grey's Anatomy" was the best show ever created and you can read my million posts about the game....or just ignore them. Whatever.
The point is that your constant posting of disdain using the EXACT SAME picture over and over is making you look and act like a negative nelly. In the words of the great Queen Elsa, "Let it go." (Okay maybe there has been a wee too much "Frozen" in our house.)
LeSean McCoy's "Point"
LeSean McCoy left a 20 cent tip for a server at PYT Restaurant as a "statement." It's all over the news. Here are the facts, as they've surfaced.....
McCoy visited the restaurant despite what he describes as "bad reviews" that he'd read beforehand. He claims that he received disrespectful, extremely poor service. He left a 20 cent tip to prove a point. The bill was over 60 dollars.
The PYT Restaurant manager posted a copy of the receipt and a statement on the Facebook page saying that they went above and beyond to cater to him because they were "big fans." Charlie Sheen has since pledged $1000 to the server who was stiffed.
So, what's my take?
Well, first off, no one really knows 100% of what happened except the people there. There are two "realities" presented here. Likely McCoy is used to being fussed over more than he was. What he deems as disrespectful could have been great service for the average person but is awful for someone used to being waited on hand and foot. His "reality" of it is that he was treated disrespectfully and I have to give him the benefit of the doubt that this is what he believes to be true.
On the other hand, the "reality" of the staff at PYT is that he was catered to with increasingly special treatment because of who he was. Other customers had to wait because he was there and they were fans. Their reality is that he received superb service and stiffed them. I have to give them the benefit of the doubt that this is what they believe to be true.
It's often said that there are three sides to every story so if we piece it together, we could probably find some semblance of the actual truth. This has been a polarizing issue because (1) the receipt was publicized (2) Those that were NOT EVEN PRESENT say that bad service=bad tips (3) It's "his business" what he wants to spend. Let me address the first and third together: When he became a professional athlete, he accepted the public scrutiny that comes with it. People aren't always going to like him or his decisions but just like any other "celebrity", you deal with the criticism to make the money and do what you love. The receipt did NOT say his credit card information (less a few digits that would not provide enough to do anything) and while it is definitely "his business" how he spends his money, the fans pay a lot of money for him to be able to play so "his business" is really kind of theirs too when it comes to a guy being an asshat.
With all of that being said, there's a bigger issue here that a lot of people are ignoring. Bad tips do NOT always mean bad service. I've heard it said "Well if they don't want to live on tips, they should get a different job." Well, on one hand, that might be true. On the other hand, they are doing a job that SOMEONE has to do. People don't always choose their jobs because it's something they love; often being a server is a matter of working through college, needing certain hours or even needing a second job. There are definitely great servers and crappy ones and I'm a firm believer in tipping based on service BUT never below 10%. 20% is considered the standard and if I receive average service, I tip around 20% every time I go out. If I receive exceptionally awful service, I speak to the manager and tip around 10-15 (I believe I've tipped 10% twice ever.....once from a woman that literally NEVER came to our table when there was virtually no one in the restaurant but was back socializing with the bartender). If I receive exceptionally GREAT service, I tip significantly more. Tips are part of life. Yes, tips does stand for "To Insure Prompt Service." The fact is that if you can't afford to tip, you shouldn't dine out.
Now here's my bigger issue....why didn't he talk to the manager if his service was so poor? He didn't give the manager a chance to remedy the situation or make his experience better? Why didn't he do it? Because he was being a douchebag. He was showing off and acting like an ignorant ass. A man that makes $7 million a year can make a point in many more ways that making himself look like a jackass by tipping 20 cents on a $60+ restaurant check. He wasn't concerned about making any point except that he has the control and he's a jackass.
I'm sure, by now, that my opinion is relatively evident. He's a jackass. He's a jackass. He might be a great player but he's a jackass. Should the NFL reprimand him? No. They need to focus on bigger issues than this. Should he fully get the rep of being a jackass? Yes. May the force be with him as he dines in the future because service staff is going to make DAMN sure that he gets "a point" in his meal in the future at least once or twice. Sometimes you should save the "making a point" for the superiors and handle it like a man, McCoy. Asshat behavior is asshat behavior...making a point or not.
McCoy visited the restaurant despite what he describes as "bad reviews" that he'd read beforehand. He claims that he received disrespectful, extremely poor service. He left a 20 cent tip to prove a point. The bill was over 60 dollars.
The PYT Restaurant manager posted a copy of the receipt and a statement on the Facebook page saying that they went above and beyond to cater to him because they were "big fans." Charlie Sheen has since pledged $1000 to the server who was stiffed.
So, what's my take?
Well, first off, no one really knows 100% of what happened except the people there. There are two "realities" presented here. Likely McCoy is used to being fussed over more than he was. What he deems as disrespectful could have been great service for the average person but is awful for someone used to being waited on hand and foot. His "reality" of it is that he was treated disrespectfully and I have to give him the benefit of the doubt that this is what he believes to be true.
On the other hand, the "reality" of the staff at PYT is that he was catered to with increasingly special treatment because of who he was. Other customers had to wait because he was there and they were fans. Their reality is that he received superb service and stiffed them. I have to give them the benefit of the doubt that this is what they believe to be true.
It's often said that there are three sides to every story so if we piece it together, we could probably find some semblance of the actual truth. This has been a polarizing issue because (1) the receipt was publicized (2) Those that were NOT EVEN PRESENT say that bad service=bad tips (3) It's "his business" what he wants to spend. Let me address the first and third together: When he became a professional athlete, he accepted the public scrutiny that comes with it. People aren't always going to like him or his decisions but just like any other "celebrity", you deal with the criticism to make the money and do what you love. The receipt did NOT say his credit card information (less a few digits that would not provide enough to do anything) and while it is definitely "his business" how he spends his money, the fans pay a lot of money for him to be able to play so "his business" is really kind of theirs too when it comes to a guy being an asshat.
With all of that being said, there's a bigger issue here that a lot of people are ignoring. Bad tips do NOT always mean bad service. I've heard it said "Well if they don't want to live on tips, they should get a different job." Well, on one hand, that might be true. On the other hand, they are doing a job that SOMEONE has to do. People don't always choose their jobs because it's something they love; often being a server is a matter of working through college, needing certain hours or even needing a second job. There are definitely great servers and crappy ones and I'm a firm believer in tipping based on service BUT never below 10%. 20% is considered the standard and if I receive average service, I tip around 20% every time I go out. If I receive exceptionally awful service, I speak to the manager and tip around 10-15 (I believe I've tipped 10% twice ever.....once from a woman that literally NEVER came to our table when there was virtually no one in the restaurant but was back socializing with the bartender). If I receive exceptionally GREAT service, I tip significantly more. Tips are part of life. Yes, tips does stand for "To Insure Prompt Service." The fact is that if you can't afford to tip, you shouldn't dine out.
Now here's my bigger issue....why didn't he talk to the manager if his service was so poor? He didn't give the manager a chance to remedy the situation or make his experience better? Why didn't he do it? Because he was being a douchebag. He was showing off and acting like an ignorant ass. A man that makes $7 million a year can make a point in many more ways that making himself look like a jackass by tipping 20 cents on a $60+ restaurant check. He wasn't concerned about making any point except that he has the control and he's a jackass.
I'm sure, by now, that my opinion is relatively evident. He's a jackass. He's a jackass. He might be a great player but he's a jackass. Should the NFL reprimand him? No. They need to focus on bigger issues than this. Should he fully get the rep of being a jackass? Yes. May the force be with him as he dines in the future because service staff is going to make DAMN sure that he gets "a point" in his meal in the future at least once or twice. Sometimes you should save the "making a point" for the superiors and handle it like a man, McCoy. Asshat behavior is asshat behavior...making a point or not.
The Ray Rice Scandal
The Ray Rice scandal is EVERYWHERE. If you've been under a rock, here is the basic details of the story. Ray Rice punched his (then) fiancé in an elevator. While he was arrested and put through the court process, he was put into a program for anger management instead of jail time. The NFL gave him a short suspension per their procedures held at that time. Suddenly a short time ago, TMZ released the video of the actual incident and all hell has broken loose. Here are my feelings on the topic.....
THE ACCUSATION: GOODELL CHOSE NOT TO SEE THE VIDEO. HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN IT JUST LIKE TMZ DID.
Honestly, I think there's a lot of judgment being put forth by people who probably would have done the same. I believe that Goodell had a very full plate and "made the mistake" of trusting the authorities on this matter. It's not that he was avoiding the topic; he was letting the police and court system do their job. I believe, wholeheartedly, that TMZ is making it into a bigger issue than it is that Goodell "could" have gotten the tape from the hotel and they're doing what they do best: making huge public spectacles for ratings. Sometimes, in the midst of a stressful situation, you forget the most obvious option (talking to the venue, in this case). Maybe he had the option before, maybe he didn't. The fact is that once he DID see the video, he was appalled.
THE ACCUSATION: SHE HIT HIM FIRST SO SHE "DESERVED" IT
There was some shuffling and hubbub going before she ever laid a hand on him. In my opinion, a man should NEVER hit a woman....period. With that being said, a woman should NEVER hit a man. Quite honestly, and this is simply my opinion, men (in general) have more muscle mass than women, especially a big bulky professional football player. Her strike probably didn't inflict much pain to him and it certainly didn't inflict actual harm. He punched her...not open hand slapped. He PUNCHED her. His intent was to inflict real harm. He then DRAGGED her off the elevator unconscious. Tell me again how she deserved it. Yes I do believe that if a woman strikes a man, especially repeatedly, he has a right to defend himself or (in my opinion, the better option) to restrain her until she either calms down or help arrives. With that being said, he had NO right to do what he did....period. That wasn't self-defense or restraint. That was intent to harm her.
THE ACCUSATION: SHE WENT ON TO MARRY HIM. SHE STAYED SO IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN "THAT BAD."
There has been an outpouring with a hashtag "Why I stayed". I can honestly say that this is a trend that I support. People NEED to know why women stay. If you're in love with someone and they hit you, you're so emotionally wrecked that you don't know what to do. They apologize....they plead.....they cry......they threaten. Maybe you're trapped. Maybe you're scared. Maybe you love them and feel like it's impossible without them. The fact is that women stay for a variety of reasons and it's not always as easy as people on the outside make it out to be. She did choose to marry him. It seems that because he is seeking help and because she has been led to believe that she was at fault too, she's made a choice. That is her choice but it doesn't mean that it wasn't that bad. My prayer for her is that he IS changing and that he won't EVER lay a hand on her again. My prayer is that she doesn't become a statistic.
THE ACCUSATION: THE NFL WENT TOO EASY ON HIM ORIGINALLY.
There is a code of conduct and they deal with it on a need basis. "Domestic violence" charges, unfortunately, don't have "degrees." You can't tell if it was a verbal argument where someone just got in the other person's face or if it was an incident where someone was beaten to a bloody pulp. They did what was protocol based on the charge.
THE ACCUSATION: THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR NOW
Now here's where I completely disagree. Supporters of Ray Rice say that he just made a mistake. Yes, that is probably true. In fact, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he is probably a super nice guy that made a terrible terrible mistake. Now here's the problem with that being the only thing we look at: people are responsible for their actions. They haven't said he's banned forever....they basically said "until further notice." Yes, the Ravens released him. That doesn't mean he can't ever play again...just not right now. My feeling is that he should be held responsible for his actions. A statement needs to be made and maybe he's who they're making an example out of. He needs to understand that he has NO right to do what he did PERIOD. It will make a huge difference in whether or not he makes that decision again, I guarantee.
THE ACCUSATION: THIS IS JUST LIKE MICHAEL VICK...BLAH BLAH BLAH
Ummmm no. What Michael Vick did was dog fighting which is despicable. What Ray Rice did was abuse of a PERSON. Big difference, in my opinion. I'm not condoning either and I certainly don't have a high opinion at all of Michael Vick. What I do think is that there is a vast difference.
CONCLUSION:
Goodell made a decision based on protocol and the information he had originally. Whether or not he could have obtained things instead of trusting the police to provide accurate information to him and/or see how the case turned out is irrelevant. Once he did see the footage, he made a more sound decision. He has the right to change his mind. Rice deserves the suspension and his actions during the suspension should determine how long it lasts. If he decides to throw himself wholeheartedly into making sure that he never does this again and supporting abuse prevention, he's showing that he's making an effort. No one deserves abuse....no one. Don't judge until you've been in it.
THE ACCUSATION: GOODELL CHOSE NOT TO SEE THE VIDEO. HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN IT JUST LIKE TMZ DID.
Honestly, I think there's a lot of judgment being put forth by people who probably would have done the same. I believe that Goodell had a very full plate and "made the mistake" of trusting the authorities on this matter. It's not that he was avoiding the topic; he was letting the police and court system do their job. I believe, wholeheartedly, that TMZ is making it into a bigger issue than it is that Goodell "could" have gotten the tape from the hotel and they're doing what they do best: making huge public spectacles for ratings. Sometimes, in the midst of a stressful situation, you forget the most obvious option (talking to the venue, in this case). Maybe he had the option before, maybe he didn't. The fact is that once he DID see the video, he was appalled.
THE ACCUSATION: SHE HIT HIM FIRST SO SHE "DESERVED" IT
There was some shuffling and hubbub going before she ever laid a hand on him. In my opinion, a man should NEVER hit a woman....period. With that being said, a woman should NEVER hit a man. Quite honestly, and this is simply my opinion, men (in general) have more muscle mass than women, especially a big bulky professional football player. Her strike probably didn't inflict much pain to him and it certainly didn't inflict actual harm. He punched her...not open hand slapped. He PUNCHED her. His intent was to inflict real harm. He then DRAGGED her off the elevator unconscious. Tell me again how she deserved it. Yes I do believe that if a woman strikes a man, especially repeatedly, he has a right to defend himself or (in my opinion, the better option) to restrain her until she either calms down or help arrives. With that being said, he had NO right to do what he did....period. That wasn't self-defense or restraint. That was intent to harm her.
THE ACCUSATION: SHE WENT ON TO MARRY HIM. SHE STAYED SO IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN "THAT BAD."
There has been an outpouring with a hashtag "Why I stayed". I can honestly say that this is a trend that I support. People NEED to know why women stay. If you're in love with someone and they hit you, you're so emotionally wrecked that you don't know what to do. They apologize....they plead.....they cry......they threaten. Maybe you're trapped. Maybe you're scared. Maybe you love them and feel like it's impossible without them. The fact is that women stay for a variety of reasons and it's not always as easy as people on the outside make it out to be. She did choose to marry him. It seems that because he is seeking help and because she has been led to believe that she was at fault too, she's made a choice. That is her choice but it doesn't mean that it wasn't that bad. My prayer for her is that he IS changing and that he won't EVER lay a hand on her again. My prayer is that she doesn't become a statistic.
THE ACCUSATION: THE NFL WENT TOO EASY ON HIM ORIGINALLY.
There is a code of conduct and they deal with it on a need basis. "Domestic violence" charges, unfortunately, don't have "degrees." You can't tell if it was a verbal argument where someone just got in the other person's face or if it was an incident where someone was beaten to a bloody pulp. They did what was protocol based on the charge.
THE ACCUSATION: THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR NOW
Now here's where I completely disagree. Supporters of Ray Rice say that he just made a mistake. Yes, that is probably true. In fact, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he is probably a super nice guy that made a terrible terrible mistake. Now here's the problem with that being the only thing we look at: people are responsible for their actions. They haven't said he's banned forever....they basically said "until further notice." Yes, the Ravens released him. That doesn't mean he can't ever play again...just not right now. My feeling is that he should be held responsible for his actions. A statement needs to be made and maybe he's who they're making an example out of. He needs to understand that he has NO right to do what he did PERIOD. It will make a huge difference in whether or not he makes that decision again, I guarantee.
THE ACCUSATION: THIS IS JUST LIKE MICHAEL VICK...BLAH BLAH BLAH
Ummmm no. What Michael Vick did was dog fighting which is despicable. What Ray Rice did was abuse of a PERSON. Big difference, in my opinion. I'm not condoning either and I certainly don't have a high opinion at all of Michael Vick. What I do think is that there is a vast difference.
CONCLUSION:
Goodell made a decision based on protocol and the information he had originally. Whether or not he could have obtained things instead of trusting the police to provide accurate information to him and/or see how the case turned out is irrelevant. Once he did see the footage, he made a more sound decision. He has the right to change his mind. Rice deserves the suspension and his actions during the suspension should determine how long it lasts. If he decides to throw himself wholeheartedly into making sure that he never does this again and supporting abuse prevention, he's showing that he's making an effort. No one deserves abuse....no one. Don't judge until you've been in it.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
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Little Miss "H"Snow Leopard
I was thrilled out of my mind to get a close encounter with my absolute favorite animal on the planet....a snow leopard. Absolutely stunning!
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