The Ray Rice Scandal

The Ray Rice scandal is EVERYWHERE.  If you've been under a rock, here is the basic details of the story.  Ray Rice punched his (then) fiancé in an elevator.  While he was arrested and put through the court process, he was put into a program for anger management instead of jail time. The NFL gave him a short suspension per their procedures held at that time. Suddenly a short time ago, TMZ released the video of the actual incident and all hell has broken loose.  Here are my feelings on the topic.....

THE ACCUSATION:  GOODELL CHOSE NOT TO SEE THE VIDEO.  HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN IT JUST LIKE TMZ DID.
Honestly, I think there's a lot of judgment being put forth by people who probably would have done the same.  I believe that Goodell had a very full plate and "made the mistake" of trusting the authorities on this matter.  It's not that he was avoiding the topic; he was letting the police and court system do their job.  I believe, wholeheartedly, that TMZ is making it into a bigger issue than it is that Goodell "could" have gotten the tape from the hotel and they're doing what they do best: making huge public spectacles for ratings.  Sometimes, in the midst of a stressful situation, you forget the most obvious option (talking to the venue, in this case).  Maybe he had the option before, maybe he didn't.  The fact is that once he DID see the video, he was appalled.

THE ACCUSATION: SHE HIT HIM FIRST SO SHE "DESERVED" IT
There was some shuffling and hubbub going before she ever laid a hand on him.  In my opinion, a man should NEVER hit a woman....period.  With that being said, a woman should NEVER hit a man.  Quite honestly, and this is simply my opinion, men (in general) have more muscle mass than women, especially a big bulky professional football player.  Her strike probably didn't inflict much pain to him and it certainly didn't inflict actual harm.  He punched her...not open hand slapped.  He PUNCHED her.  His intent was to inflict real harm.  He then DRAGGED her off the elevator unconscious.  Tell me again how she deserved it.  Yes I do believe that if a woman strikes a man, especially repeatedly, he has a right to defend himself or (in my opinion, the better option) to restrain her until she either calms down or help arrives.  With that being said, he had NO right to do what he did....period.  That wasn't self-defense or restraint.  That was intent to harm her. 

THE ACCUSATION:  SHE WENT ON TO MARRY HIM.  SHE STAYED SO IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN "THAT BAD."
There has been an outpouring with a hashtag "Why I stayed".  I can honestly say that this is a trend that I support.  People NEED to know why women stay.  If you're in love with someone and they hit you, you're so emotionally wrecked that you don't know what to do.  They apologize....they plead.....they cry......they threaten.  Maybe you're trapped.  Maybe you're scared.  Maybe you love them and feel like it's impossible without them.  The fact is that women stay for a variety of reasons and it's not always as easy as people on the outside make it out to be.  She did choose to marry him.  It seems that because he is seeking help and because she has been led to believe that she was at fault too, she's made a choice.  That is her choice but it doesn't mean that it wasn't that bad.  My prayer for her is that he IS changing and that he won't EVER lay a hand on her again.  My prayer is that she doesn't become a statistic.

THE ACCUSATION:  THE NFL WENT TOO EASY ON HIM ORIGINALLY. 
There is a code of conduct and they deal with it on a need basis.  "Domestic violence" charges, unfortunately, don't have "degrees."  You can't tell if it was a verbal argument where someone just got in the other person's face or if it was an incident where someone was beaten to a bloody pulp.  They did what was protocol based on the charge. 

THE ACCUSATION: THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR NOW
Now here's where I completely disagree.  Supporters of Ray Rice say that he just made a mistake.  Yes, that is probably true.  In fact, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he is probably a super nice guy that made a terrible terrible mistake.  Now here's the problem with that being the only thing we look at: people are responsible for their actions.  They haven't said he's banned forever....they basically said "until further notice."  Yes, the Ravens released him.  That doesn't mean he can't ever play again...just not right now.  My feeling is that he should be held responsible for his actions.  A statement needs to be made and maybe he's who they're making an example out of.  He needs to understand that he has NO right to do what he did PERIOD.  It will make a huge difference in whether or  not he makes that decision again, I guarantee.

THE ACCUSATION: THIS IS JUST LIKE MICHAEL VICK...BLAH BLAH BLAH
Ummmm no.  What Michael Vick did was dog fighting which is despicable.  What Ray Rice did was abuse of a PERSON.  Big difference, in my opinion.  I'm not condoning either and I certainly don't have a high opinion at all of Michael Vick.  What I do think is that there is a vast difference.

CONCLUSION:
Goodell made a decision based on protocol and the information he had originally.  Whether or not he could have obtained things instead of trusting the police to provide accurate information to him and/or see how the case turned out is irrelevant.  Once he did see the footage, he made a more sound decision.  He has the right to change his mind.  Rice deserves the suspension and his actions during the suspension should determine how long it lasts.  If he decides to throw himself wholeheartedly into making sure that he never does this again and supporting abuse prevention, he's showing that he's making an effort.  No one deserves abuse....no one.  Don't judge until you've been in it.