Bigot...an Overused Term

I watched someone get called a "bigot" yesterday because they didn't change their Facebook profile picture to the rainbow "pride" tint.  Why were they called a bigot?  Because they were a Christian.  Let me be very clear about something: I know that the accuser does not speak for the masses.  There are extremists (for lack of better terminology) that represent every culture, belief, religion, and so on and so forth.  This accuser's terminology is clearly uneducated and just plain ridiculous.  You are not a bigot simply for not choosing to add a rainbow tint to your profile picture any more than you are a bigot for saying that you don't agree with something. 

Bigot is defined as "a person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions."  By its very definition, the above-listed accusation is incorrect.  A profile picture or any other such representation has nothing to do with whether or not a person is intolerant.  The word "bigot" gets thrown around like a simple, everyday adjective anymore and it's often directed at the Christian or conservative base.  If you don't think people should live on welfare their entire life and then pass it on from generation to generation, you're a bigot and you hate poor people.  If you don't think that the Confederate flag represents racism (in this day and age), you're a bigot and you hate black people.  If you don't think that the government should remove "under God" from the pledge, you're a bigot and you hate other religions.  If you don't think that the government should make a federal law redefining marriage, you're a bigot and you hate homosexuals.  The word is thrown around to describe anyone whose opinion varies from the masses.   Realistically, the masses throwing around this word is the very definition of bigotry.  They are being intolerant of someone else's different beliefs.

Our politically correct culture seems to think that offense is NECESSARY instead of optional.  Do you want to know the truth?  Being offended is a choice.  Sometimes it's a more evident choice than others but it is always a choice.  You choose how you react to peoples actions.  You choose whether or not someone's comment or demeanor or even their picture offends you.  It's a choice.  Quite honestly, we seem to tiptoe around anymore not wanting anyone to be upset because they might sue us (which is a very real threat being that we live in a sue-happy society but that's a whole different post).  We have to define people by their ancestry (aka African American, Asian American, Latin American, etc) instead of defining them of citizens of our country, Americans.  We aren't allowed to call people "illegal aliens" because it's offensive, though the terminology is actually completely accurate.  We aren't allowed to breastfeed in public without a cover because someone might be offended by the sight of a breast but we also aren't allowed to tell the teeny bopper with her ass hanging out of her shorts that her clothing isn't appropriate; you see, that's offensive.  We're a nation of pansies when it comes to hurt feelings and it's absurd.  Like I tell my kids when they're whining over nothing: toughen up buttercup, life's hard sometimes.  Realistically speaking, you can't get upset over every little thing.

What is my stance on gay marriage? Honestly?  I think that if someone else wants to enter in the 50/50 world of marital "bliss", let them.  Does that make me less Christian?  No....Christianity is the belief that Jesus is our Lord and Savior who was crucified, buried and rose again to save us from our sins.  I still believe that.  Does it mean I don't believe in the Bible?  Absolutely not.  I absolutely do believe that the Bible was written by man, inspired by God and that the events did occur.  I also believe that we are called by God to love and that Jesus' death gave us the two most important commandments: love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  I don't have to want to be gay to love the crap out of every gay person I meet.  We are called to not be judgmental but to walk on God's path and to teach others through our actions and words how to be more like God.  My focus is on what God calls ME to do.  It is not on trying to pick apart every single action of our fallen world and it is certainly not to pass judgment on someone who chooses to live a different lifestyle than I do.  Does the Bible define homosexuality as a sin? In the old testament, yes.  Does it explicitly say in the New Testament that no one sin is better or worse than another, yes.  You see, to me, picking apart things and saying, "Well it says in __enter Old Testament book here__ that this is a sin or that's a sin so you're wrong and I'm right and you're not a Christian because you don't believe it," that's absurd to me.  The Old Testament also tells men that they can't shave their beards and women that they can't divorce or remarry after their husband divorces them or a million other things.  No, you can't cherry pick what you want from the Bible as it appeases you, but you also can't stand and say that this passage from the Old Testament is important but that one isn't.  When Jesus died for our sins, he washed away the old and brought in the new.  Do the commandments still exist? Absolutely, even Jesus says that but he also says that the two most important commandments are to love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  So do I choose homosexuality for my own life? No.  Does that mean I don't think homosexuals should be allowed to marry? Absolutely not.  Their lives and their choices are between them and God and my choices are between me and God.  I'm no better and I'm no less of a sinner than they are.  Everyone sins every single day...who am I to judge whose is better or worse?

I WILL say the following though:  the Federal government IS too involved in everyone's daily lives.  Nothing that isn't Constitutionally right should be forced on us and redefining the Constitution by stretching it to fit our needs would make our forefathers roll over in their graves.

I guess my summation is simply this: Perhaps if we were a bit more concerned with making our own lives the best that they can be and doing our best to be good people, our country would be better off.  Instead of focusing on who hurt your feelings or who is doing something you don't like, focus on bettering your own life and let them do what they want to do.  You don't have to agree with them to love them and you don't have to accept their choices to let them live their life the way they choose.  If you aren't contributing to their bills and you aren't taking care of their emotional needs, you don't have the right to interject your opinions into their everyday life.  You don't like gay marriage? Okay, be straight and be proud of that as the gay population is proud of their choice.  You don't like breastfeeding in public? Okay, don't do it and turn your head if someone else is doing it in front of you.  You don't like the Confederate flag? Okay, don't display it.  No one is making you do any of these things.  Let's get back to the fundamentals of our country's Constitution and mind our own business for awhile.

Breaking Points

There's an expression that's used in many memes that basically says the following (paraphrasing): Don't be scared of when a woman yells at you when she's mad.  Be scared when she's stopped yelling because that means she's stopped caring.

I believe this applies to both genders, to some degree.  Some people have higher tolerances for drama than others.  Some people have more compassionate hearts than others.  Some people are just suckers for second and third and seventeenth chances.  Realistically, some people suffer from all three of these conditions and more.  Always, though, always, there is a breaking point. A point at which you've finally realized that the second and third and twenty seventh chances aren't worth it anymore because they're not changing...A point at which you realize that the blood, sweat and tears are only on your end.....A point at which you realize that you can't invest any more of your energy trying to please someone that could care less about pleasing you.  THAT is your breaking point.

Sadly, it can produce a few reactions.  For some, it produces anger that helps people to cope with their sadness and loss of someone they care about.  For others, it produces resolve that helps them to plan and move forward, focusing all of their attention on how they will get through this.  For people like me, it just bubbles up sadness.  It's not depression.  It's pure sadness but sadness for the other person's heart and what they're missing out on.  That may sound conceited but it's not.  I know how much I give to those I love and once that love is gone, it breaks my heart to know that they'll no longer have that love or support from me again.

The point of all of this is the following: Evaluate  how you treat the people you claim that you love.  If you are ignoring them, yelling at them, belittling them, or any other mistreatment, understand that there will be a breaking point.  You will lose what you love and it'll happen in the blink of an eye.  Apologies are just words unless you prove them.  Don't let your life become a series of recovering from other people's breaking points....treat people with the appreciation, love, and respect they deserve or someone else will.

Small Town Bond

Once again, destruction hits my old stomping grounds.  Another tornado hit one of the small towns I, essentially, grew up in.  It's the second time in two years and it's absolutely devastating to see.  I'm looking at pictures of the devastation, seeing people's Facebook posts, and knowing that they're struggling and my heart just aches.  It just aches.

There is a very real bond that exists when you grow up in a small town.  In my case, there is a cluster of small towns that sort of fuse together.  While I grew up in one, I spent most of my time in another and went to high school (and spent a good deal of time) in a couple more.  This tiny cluster of towns was my whole world for a very big part of my childhood.  It was the kind of place where you could have scavenger hunts and no one cared if you were running through their yard because they knew you and knew your parents.  It was the kind of place where you didn't dare act up because the people in that town all knew your parents and they'd take you back to your house rather than down to the police station.  It's a bond...a family.  No one outside of these towns ever really understands it and it's not something you can truly explain.

While I love Denver and while this feels like home to me now, I am so torn.  Seeing this devastation, I want to be back home helping everyone clean up.  I want to be there to hug my "family" and let them know that I'll do whatever I can.  I want to be there to bring boxes to them or maybe just a warm meal.  It truly pulls at my heart strings that I'm not there with the people that I love so much.

I'm amazed at the heartlessness I've seen on news stories about this event and beyond.  People are so busy picking apart whether or not this small town is truly a part of the Chicago metro area or not that they seem to forget that some detail of location like that (which can be argued fairly by either side) isn't the point.  The point is that people were affected and lost everything.  My opinion to the people arguing over ridiculous details is this: If you aren't going to say something supportive to victims of a natural disaster who OBVIOUSLY did nothing to deserve this, then shut your mouth.  If you don't like seeing certain aspects of it in your newsfeed, scroll on by.  No one is forcing you to look at anything and CERTAINLY no one needs you to sound off on how this or that is inaccurate, wrong, etc unless you are helping the situation.  Please remember that these victims have been through enough and they don't need your criticism.   They need your love and help in whatever way you can offer it, even if it means "just" (and I use the quotations because I don't feel it's unimportant AT ALL) praying and sending good vibes.

My Opinions on the Charleston Church Shootings

There has been a bit of an uproar/movement to take the Confederate flag down from the capitol of South Carolina in the wake of the church shootings and it has finally gotten me to the point that I have to voice my  opinion.  Gun control lobbyists are having a field day.  There's an uproar over every angle of this except looking at the guy himself.

I understand mental health issues are a very real problem in our country (and beyond).  Depression, anxiety, bipolar disease, and much more are very serious challenges in people's lives.  While there are definitely some major resources available, not everyone can afford to partake in them.  Some people struggle day in and day out and I truly feel utter and complete empathy for these souls.  It's a hard way to live your life and I do not want to demoralize or downplay their struggles in the least.

I understand that gun laws could use some work.  There are a whole lot of things in our country (and beyond) that could from schools to government to roads and everything in between.  I am an AVID supporter of our second amendment rights, though, and I do believe that we have the right to own a gun in this country and to protect ourselves with it.  I believe that background checks should be necessary BUT I also KNOW that criminals are generally not going into a gun store to get a background check to buy a gun.  I understand that concealed weapons make people uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons including the fact that they worry that it okays criminals to have them.  But I also KNOW that criminals that are going to carry a gun are going to do it whether it's legal or not.  Other citizens should have the right to  protect themselves, their families, or others in the case of someone using a weapon in public.  Taking guns away from law-abiding citizens is NOT the answer.  I've heard it said that a concealed weapon in that church would have saved everyone.  There's no guarantee of that but it's a much better chance that some or all of those people might have survived because someone could have intervened in a real way. 

I understand that people want to blame parents.  It's always the parents' fault when there's some sort of major event like this.  The fact is that MOST (not all but most) parents are just doing the best they can.  Our culture has become a culture of spoiled, bratty, entitled kids who think that they can do whatever they want without consequences.  Maybe the parents do have a part in some of these things and maybe they don't play a big part in others.

I understand that the inclination is to cite all of these law changes but, in my humble opinion, how we punish crimes is what needs to be changed.  When there are heinous crimes like this one with such clear evidence, a fast track to the death penalty should be the solution.  Decades of prison meals and citizens having to pay for these criminals' care is absurd.  For other crimes, there need to be very real consequences instead of everyone getting off on an insanity plea or paying enough money to get themselves out of things.  There are cameras everywhere in this country now and plenty of witnesses in a lot of cases.  All of these ridiculous appeals going on and on and on is absurd.  Real punishments.  Period.  If people don't think there are severe consequences for their actions or that they can just get off, they develop a superhero complex and think they can do whatever they want and get away with it.

I understand that the Confederate flag is sometimes thought to construe negativity and racism.  Having lived in the south, I can honestly say that I encountered plenty of people that flew the Confederate flag proudly that were not in ANY way, shape or form racist.  They flew it as a symbol of the South and their pride in their home states.  To me, saying that this flag needs to be taken down is as ridiculous as those saying we can't display American flags in other public places.  You're reading into it WAY too much and you need to remember that flags are designed to be symbolic of something great and something you're proud of.  Are there negative flags to fly?  Of course...I don't personally believe the Confederate flag to be one of them.

With all of that being said, here is the reality (in my opinion):  This guy did not shoot people over a flag.  He didn't shoot people because he was given a gun for his birthday.  He didn't shoot people because his parents told him too.  He didn't shoot people for any reason other than his own selfish and evil reasons.  We need to stop thinking up all of these excuses and understand that sometimes there are REASONS for things that we will never understand but it is not an EXCUSE for someone to behave that way.  A reason is an explanation; an excuse indicates that he will not be blamed.  He absolutely should.  What he did was unthinkable.  My thoughts and prayers go out to the families grieving, to the gunman's family (who themselves are probably in a state of grief I hope that I never understand), and to the community in Charleston and all of those affected.

In a final side note (of sorts), I'd like to say the following:  How the police handled this man (and I use that term loosely) was not a signal of the police treatment of black vs white.  It is being compared to the teenage girl the media has absolutely skyrocketed  at the party and other similar cases.  Do you want to know the real difference in MOST cases?  Resisting arrest.  Cooperating with the police is the difference.  Period.  Most police are not corrupt and most police are not racists.  Most police are simply there to do their job.  How about we stop trying to incite some sort of race riot and just remember most of those officers risk their lives on a daily basis to protect the citizens of their community and acting a fool is an invitation to be handled in a fashion dictated by the law. 

Taking Things for Granted

The expression goes something like this: "Don't take for granted what you have because there is always someone else that would love to be where you're at."  I certainly didn't come up with the quote/concept and I'm not even entirely sure who did.  What I can definitely say is that it is true.  You never know when something or someone could be taken from you.

Don't take your family for granted.  Do they drive you crazy?  Maybe sometimes they do.  Do they nose into your business?  Maybe sometimes they do.  The fact is that family (whether biological or otherwise as I've previously said) loves you and wants you to succeed.  They aren't there to sugar coat advice to you.  Even if they make you mad, make it a priority to be there and listen.  It doesn't mean you have to take their advice but know that they can be taken from you at any time and their importance to your life would leave you feeling regret more serious than you can imagine.

Don't take your home or anything else for granted.  In the blink of an eye, money can be gone and you are left wondering what the heck you're supposed to do.  Don't take that security for granted.  Help where you can help.  Save where you can save.  But know that God (or the Universe if that is your belief) can sometimes take things in order to teach you humility.  Don't take it for granted.

Don't take your health for granted.  The number of terminally ill patients that say, "I wish I'd have known..." is ridiculously high.  It's easy to take your health for granted and complain about your aches and pains.  Meanwhile a transplant patient is just wishing they could recover enough to go home.  A cancer patient is having to say goodbye to their children. Your health is a gift.

I guess what I'm saying is that your problems and issues are no less important because they're smaller but you are still blessed.  Everyone has their own life experiences and your problems are still problems.  Just attempt (and, believe me, it's hard for me too) to look at the big picture and realize that in the midst of all that is happening, you are blessed.

Wake the Hell Up!

I woke up this morning to the news of devastation: another mass shooting.  This time, it was in a Bible Study in a church in Charleston.  Another gunman on the loose.  Another town devastated by the actions of an individual who clearly had his own evil intentions.  My heart is breaking for that town.  My heart is breaking for the victims' families.  My heart is breaking for the family of the gunman as well.  Devastation all around.  I pray that God's hand is on this.

I'm left with this question: When is this country going to wake up?

When are the blind people in this nation going to realize that our country is headed in a dangerous direction?  Our politicians are corrupt.  Our celebrities are being touted as heroes.  Our heroes that fight for our freedom are being treated like trash.  Our kids have no respect for adults.  Our adults have no respect for each other or themselves.  Women are pinching, poking, and injecting things into their bodies to make themselves look like porn stars or celebrities or twenty somethings to impress men.  Kids want to grow up too fast and adults want to behave like irresponsible kids.  What the heck is going on and why is half of our nation too blind to see it?

Look, I'm not an expert and I don't know how to fix this.  I honestly don't.  I know this much though: Our focus on our great nation, or lack thereof in a lot of cases, is killing our nation's spirit.  Our selfish spirits are spoiling the fruit of our nation's great tree.  We are basically taking something beautiful that was left to us and stomping on it.  It's devastating to watch.

We need to take back our country.  We need to bring it back to the beautiful, wonderful, patriotic nation that it once was.  We may not be able to clone what once was but we can do something else: we can make it even better.  We just need to open our eyes and work together.  Maybe that is an optimistic view but I believe in our nation's greatness and I believe that everyone has some good in them (even if they choose to squash it down to practically nothing). 

Maybe then, there will be REAL punishments for these criminals.  Maybe then some of this hatred will stop rearing its ugly head. 

Lyrical Dancer

Rules of Engagement....so to speak

My pet peeve, as a caregiver, is seeing parents who teach their kids to be entitled and not take ownership of their actions.  As a parent myself, I am a stickler.  My kids know that I may be upset or disappointed if they do something but I can't help them figure out how to fix it if they don't admit the problem and take ownership.  The general rule is that you get into less "trouble" if you are honest about what happened (the exception being if you did something out of malicious intent...i.e. you can't punch your sister in the face and admit to it to get into less trouble. Then again, my kids aren't very physical fighters because they know better).

Look...here's the truth of it:  kids lie sometimes.  I preach and practice honesty with my kids but I also know that lies still happen.  The reality is that we, as parents, are responsible for getting to the bottom of the story.  Instead of jumping to conclusions and attacking a teacher, for example, over a bad grade, we need to talk to the teacher and find out how our child's work ethic is in class. Instead of jumping to conclusions and yelling at a neighbor child over a rumor, we need to actually talk to the children involved and find out the root of what happened.  Instead of jumping to conclusions and going into mama bear mode, we have a responsibility to seek the truth in the situation.

With that being said, I understand the concept of protecting your child.  I also understand the concept of not wanting to see your child hurt.  I can understand how difficult it might be to NOT jump to a conclusion when your child comes home crying.  Girls, especially, can have a difficult time with the queen bees/wannabe infections at our school.  Their friends are their friends one day and the next their friends say they hate them.  It's easy to want to jump in and intervene but it is NEVER okay for an adult to approach another child to yell at them....EVER.  Approaching their parent, their caregiver, or a teacher is absolutely acceptable.  There's probably more to the story.  Yelling at another person's child is just unacceptable.  Consider how you'd feel if it was your child.

It is also important to note that kids that have a history of being dramatic should be watched a bit more carefully when it comes to checking out the whole story.  If your child has a history of being a drama king or queen, you should make sure to check with other parents about what happened with a situation.  Realistically, dramatic kids will have 2 turnouts: 1-The parent that tells the child that sometimes people can just be mean and teaching them a life lesson about how to handle it. 2-The parent that feeds into the drama and attacks other parents/caregivers or children over the situation.  If you are the latter, you are asking for the drama to continue and get stepped up.  Bear that in mind.

The point of all of this is to say the following: Our society has turned out a bunch of mouthy butthole parents who are raising entitled, whiny kids.  The parents feel like their kids can do no wrong.  The kids know that and feed into it.  When you make a choice to attack someone else verbally or otherwise in your child's defense, make absolutely certain that it is justified completely by knowing the whole story and NEVER confront another child...deal with their parents.  Children do not have the ability or foresight to handle an adult conversation and, frankly, it's immature and disrespectful for you to expect that from them.  Choose to teach your children life lessons and they will embrace life much more productively as an adult.

SIDE NOTE: There is a big difference between bullying and kid stuff.  If your child is feeling self conscious and takes a question about themselves or their family in a personal way, it is a great opportunity to teach them a life lesson.  If your child is being actually victimized, it is your responsibility to advocate to speak to the other child (or children's) parents directly.  Bullying should not be tolerated.  Just be CERTAIN that you  know the whole story before you intervene.  It is ALWAYS a good idea to speak to the other parents and just get an idea where the questions or comments are coming from before jumping to a conclusion.  It might just clear up a lot of things.

My Guidelines for Arguments

There are times in life when it's difficult to know whether to speak up or not.  The world is full of over-opinionated people who feel like it is their job to spread their opinions to every corner of the globe and poo-poo on anyone who disagrees.  If your opinion doesn't match that of these over-opinionated individuals, they rally the troops and begin the character assassination.  These people can come in every shape, size, color, and every other trait.  They can appear quiet at first or be as loud as a blowhorn.  Realistically, our country has become this cauldron of mouth-running, wherein everyone feels like they need to stake their claim all of the time.  They tout freedom of speech but they don't seem to understand that freedom of speech was designed to protect you from persecution for talking about anything from religion to politics.  It was not designed for you to  name call because you don't like someone's opinion. 

With all of that said, here are my personal guidelines for when to speak up....

Is it hurting someone else or you?  The biggest indicator is whether or not it's hurting someone.  No, I'm not referring to the stretches of "hurt" that people create to accommodate an explanation of why their verbal diarrhea seems uncontrollable.  I'm talking about actual hurt.  Is someone being physically assaulted or threatened in such a way that they are in danger?  Absolutely...speak up, then!  Make your voice loud and clear.  Chase off the bullies.  Call authorities if necessary.  If it is a matter of physical harm, it is always okay to speak up.

No....no one is being hurt.  Then ask yourself these three questions:

Is what this person is saying going to affect me six months from now?  If someone is running their mouth and it won't affect you six months, six days or even six hours from now, let it go.  Realistically, people will run their mouths.  Rumors come and go and they STINK when they're at their worst but the true friends/family in your life know you and will know that rumors are rumors.  If someone is just sounding off, let it go.  It's not worth your time or aggravation.

Is this person known for being argumentative and/or are they trying to start an argument?  If you give in to an argumentative person, it's like feeding a fire.  You're probably not going to get ANYWHERE.  You're not going to change their opinion because they'll have a million excuses for how what they are doing is right and you're wrong.  Arguing, much like worrying, is like a rocking chair....you can do it for hours but it'll get you nowhere.

Will this improve my life any to engage?  Aside from getting your anger or frustration out (not really a good excuse to argue), is there any part of the argument that will actually improve your life.  If it is an argument that will improve your quality of life (or that of your children), by all means, argue away.  If this is just a petty argument that means nothing in the long run, let it go.

I guess my point in all of this is that people are so quick to jump on the angry wagon, nowadays, that they forget that life isn't about that.  People get so concerned with whether or not they're getting respected that they forget that respect is earned and making a fuss over everything isn't earning anyone's respect.  So before you engage in some battle of wits with an unarmed opponent, remember that sometimes it's just as effective to keep your mouth shut.

The Great Debate

I've waited a few days to really let things marinate in my head and heart over the controversy that is Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner.  Honestly, it's not for lack of opinion on some things but more on educating myself and really feeling confident that I've come to a conclusion that I feel comfortable with.  With that being said, here are my opinions on the topic.....

#1 and I consider this to be the most important opinion on the matter....No one's opinions on the matter REALLY should matter to this individual except the family.  The articles and blog posts calling people "dicks" for using the wrong pronoun or the calling people out for disagreeing with the choices made are nonsense.  It's no one's life to live except for this individual.  Even my opinion's should mean nothing in the long run. 

#2-I think that Bruce Jenner accomplished so much as an Olympian.  He made these incredible achievements that are pretty well unmatched (and spare me the statistics) and we should be proud of these accomplishments.  He also raised kids of his own AND kids that weren't his own with no regard to biology.  He was a carpool dad, a stepfather who stepped up to the plate.  He was an all-around amazing father figure.  I find it a shame that this generation will never really look at all that he's accomplished and will, instead, focus on THIS moment.

#3-I don't know the biology behind transgenderism (if that's a word).  Is there something to it?  Maybe so.  Maybe it's a psychological disorder like some shrinks say.  Maybe it's not.  I'm not a doctor or a scientist so I'm not an expert on the topic.  What I do know is that calling someone who still has a penis, testicles, etc a woman isn't something I can grasp.  If someone loses a penis in a horrible accident, he is considered no less of a man because DNA and biology say that he's a man.  For all intensive LEGAL purposes, your DNA makes you a man or a woman.  Period.

#4-Having said that, people have the freedom to pursue what makes them happy.  If Bruce feels better identifying as Caitlyn, so be it.  It's certainly not hurting me.  Whether he's biologically a woman or not, if that's what makes him happy, do whatever floats his boat.  I think it's great that he's found happiness. 

#5-I don't believe that this defines him as a hero.  Personally, I like to save the word "hero" for people that fight for our country....or people that defend our streets from criminals.  I don't believe that publically declaring what you want people to now call you or identify you as makes you a hero.  I think that it's brave to be who you are regardless of what people think....but then rallying the troops at the exact right time when transgenderism is being fought for instead of fighting for it years ago doesn't make you any more of a hero than anyone else.  Everyone has a cross to bear and it doesn't make you a hero to bear yours publically and expect everyone to accept and conform.

#6-I think that the concept that everyone should just drop the male pronoun and the name "Bruce" from their vocabulary is a bit  much.  Over time, maybe adaptation will occur but you can't shave a dog, put wool on it and expect everyone to call it a sheep just because you want them to.  It takes time to adapt.  Period.  For a whole lot of people, it will be like the Sears Tower.  It  has a new name but a whole lot of people still call it the Sears Tower.  Bruce/Caitlyn shouldn't be writing off the part of him that was, even if he is embracing himself as a woman now.  Over time, yes, things change but you can't just expect a magazine article to magically make everyone have the ability to correctly phrase things. 

#7-Honestly, to the extremists who are having a fit here and calling him all sorts of names, get over it.  You don't have to like or agree with transgenderism or anything else in life.  You just have to live with it.  If you don't want to recognize it, look the other direction.  It's a part of reality, at this point.  I may not fully understand or identify with it at all but the fact is that I actually embrace hearing different views (when they're debated civilly instead of name calling and character assassination).  I'm happy that Bruce has found happiness as Caitlyn and I hope that his family will consider to support whatever he continues to pursue. 

Another Challenge....and Even More Ridiculous

So apparently there's a new trend going around as a "challenge".  Basically a girl is supposed to try to hold a Coke bottle between her breasts.  They're touting it's to raise awareness for breast cancer.  They're raving that this is harmless fun.  However, I have a few opinions on the matter....

1.  These challenges are the most ridiculous thing on the planet to me.  If you want to raise awareness for something, FANTASTIC! I'd even be for these ice bucket challenges if people actually did the research and educated themselves and/or others.  Otherwise, you're just dumping a bucket of ice.....or putting a Coke between your boobs.  It's not about raising awareness for anything if you're not actually telling people about what you're raising awareness for.  It's really easy to say, "It's about breast cancer," but have you actually done the research yourself?  Have you read the facts on breast cancer or are you just doing it because it's trendy?

2.  There are clearly better ways to raise money for breast cancer awareness than showing off your breasts.  I'm sorry but there are.  If you're truly doing it for the cause, there are actual REAL ways to help raise awareness and funding for breast cancer research.  Susan G Komen is a big fundraiser but there are also many other foundations that raise funds to do research.

3.  How THIS is considered to be okay but a big hullabaloo is raised over women breastfeeding in public without covers is absurd to me.  If you are throwing a fit that a mom is nursing her baby in a restaurant without a blanket/cover over her yet you are posting this challenge to social media, you are part of the problem.

4.  Okay, men like to see breasts.  I've had that pointed out to me more than I ever care to hear again.  May I suggest looking at one of the millions of other sources of breasts available on the world wide web?  I honestly don't think this is a necessary trend to begin because......

5.  Younger girls do this crap and think they're "helping" a cause.  The fact is that encouraging this is encouraging a trend that just further teaches girls that their bodies are not their own.  I've said it before and I'll say it again....porn has caused the sexualization of girls to a point that we no longer see a girl for her qualities and greatness, we see her for her body parts.  The very concept that girls are even allowed to participate because they are "of legal age" is absurd to me.  Their legal age has nothing to do with their maturity level or ability to see what the long term consequences would be.

6.  It's not all in good fun.  Our generation seems to forget that the generation under us is watching.  Instead of teaching our girls to be flashing their goodies everywhere, dressing way beyond their age and showing off their breasts, we should be teaching our girls to respect their bodies.  I'm not saying everyone has to run around in long skirts and overcoats.  I'm simply saying that teaching a girl that her body is meant to be worshipped by the public is not teaching her respect.  If she learns to lean on the opinions of outsiders, she'll never be truly confident in herself.

and finally....

7.  This challenge is a fake breast challenge.  Let's be real.  REAL breasts (even those of pre-pregnancy woman) don't do that.  If this was a real breast challenge, you'd be holding them underneath your breasts, not in between.  If men really need to see breasts that badly, maybe all of the women with sagging, post-nursing breasts should be doing this challenge to see if they still think it's all in good fun.

Let Go and Let God

"Let go and let God..." I have heard that said to me about a million times in my lifetime but have never understood it quite as clearly as I do as an adult.  As a child, or a teenager, (in most circumstances) it's pretty easy to let go and allow God to do His work.  No one else is depending on you.  Your life is about you and your parents/guardians support you financially and (hopefully) mentally, emotionally and physically, to boot.

As an adult, especially as a parent, you are living life taking care of yourself (in most cases). Reality hits you harder and faster.  You can save and prepare as much as you want but life happens.  Sometimes it's caused by your mistakes and sometimes bad things just happen.  It can come in a million forms but the reality is always the same.  Life happens.  Stress happens.  You can start to feel overwhelmed very quickly when you see the mountain before you.

For me, though, there comes a point where you have no choice but to just let go and let God.  I certainly can't manage this mountain by myself.  I need help.  I need someone to lead me, to guide me.  I need someone to walk with me.  I need the companionship.  I need the Fatherly love.  I need  my Abba Father.  I need something that only God can provide.  This is where the rubber meets the road and where your faith is truly tested.

I truly believe that God can work all things for His glory.  I truly believe that in my heart, soul, mind, body and strength.  When you let go, you open the door to all that God can do.  I completely go in kicking and screaming before I let go but when I eventually do let go, I feel a million times better. In short, God's awesomeness shines through.  That's what I'm counting on.