I don't consider myself to be antisocial. I'm selectively social. I always have been. I have a hard time socializing in situations that I know are not going to be productive. I know that sounds boring but it's life. With that being said, I believe that the world would be a far more productive and loving place if people chose to come together in the right situations. Here are just a few:
Come Together in a Relationship This is where it all begins for a lot of people. When you enter into marriage, you come together as a couple. You stop trying to live as an independent bachelor or bachelorette and begin to put the needs of your spouse before your own. There are far too many men and women looking at their relationships as a secondary thought to their own needs. Marriage means that you put yourself aside. It means that you sometimes have to do things you don't want to do, show interest in something for the sake of your spouse, and realize that it will repay you tenfold. (While I keep referring to spouses, this is also true of long term relationships with unmarried couples).
Come Together in a Family This applies to any family unit whether blood related or not. When you come together as a family, you create a bond that will carry all of the family members through anything. It doesn't mean you won't fight or disagree. It means that when you do, you learn to work through it in a healthy way. Communication, love and trust are what gets you through this.
Come Together to Change the World It might be as simple as getting a new playground in your neighborhood or it might be for a bigger cause such as protecting the rights of a group or fighting for justice for someone facing life's troubles. Come together for a positive cause. Come together to protect our country. Come together to fight for a good cause.
Come Together to Combat the Hate There is so much hate in the world today. There are groups hellbent on destroying our country and its inhabitants. Come together to fight the hate. Come together to encourage love. Come together to create a more peaceful existence.
Come Together to Pray This is probably my favorite. The Bible says that when two or more come together, God is there. The truth is that no matter what your religion, sharing a prayer with a friend or many friends is a wonderful way to put positive energy out into the world. It's a wonderful way to visualize and to make peace with the Universe as a whole.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Five Ways Relationships CAN Work, even WITH social media
I have seen people posting and reposting an article written recently about how social media ruins marriages. In a lot of ways, I couldn't agree more with this article. Social media can ruin relationships. People use social media as an excuse to be someone that they're not because there is no accountability. They feel like it's suddenly okay to lie, cheat, or do a million other inappropriate things. They feel like they can do whatever because they are safe behind their computer/phone and no one will find out. It seems that integrity goes out the door.
With all of that being said, I believe there are five real things that you can do to enhance your relationship even WITH the presence of social media......
1. Speak positivity into the lives of your loved ones. I'm not going to tell you to be honest. That is kind of a given. Instead, I will tell you to speak positive things into the life of your spouse (or other loved ones). Give yourself a goal of saying at least 5 positive things per day to your spouse and watch how they shine. Lovers become more forgiving, more willing to encourage you, more thankful, and more productive in general. It's a fact of life that positive thoughts beget positive consequences (even if they take awhile). If you speak positivity into your spouse's life, you will get positive consequences.
2. Don't hide behind your hat . What I mean by this is simple: if you wouldn't say or do it with your spouse present, don't do it at all. If you wouldn't look at a website with your wife sitting right next to you, don't look at it at all. If you wouldn't send a picture to someone with your husband sitting right next to you, don't send it at all. This doesn't just apply to social media. This applies to real life. If you have to lie about who you're texting or messaging, you've already stepped over a line. If you have to lie about where you've been or what you've been doing, you've already stepped over a line. If you have to cover your tracks, you clearly know that you're doing something your spouse wouldn't approve of. If you can't live within your relationship's boundaries, you don't need to be in a relationship. Period.
3. Appreciate what you have. Instead of always wanting what someone else has, appreciate what you have. Focus on the good things about your spouse. Yes, there are always things that irritate you about your spouse. Yes there are deal breakers that need to be talked about with your spouse. With that being said, if you focus most of your attention on what is wonderful about your spouse, you'll spend a lot less time being angry at them. A shift in your mindset can make all the difference.
4. Don't make excuses. This kind of coincides with #2. Don't make excuses for your bad behavior. Don't place the blame on someone else for your actions. Hold yourself accountable for what you do. It's not anyone else's fault if you mess up and, quite frankly, your spouse is likely to be much more forgiving if you confess and apologize! No one is responsible for what you do except you.
5. Surround yourself with people who are for you, not against you It's really easy for someone to call you a "friend." It's a horse of a different color for them to actually behave that way. If your "friends" are trash talking your spouse (and no, I'm not referring to honest expression of concern from a friend or family member), they aren't being productive to your relationship. If you feel the need to trash talk your spouse in front of your friends so that you can fit in, you're not being productive to your relationship. If you surround yourself with negative people, you'll start to develop their approach.
and a little bonus.....
Just because you're not married, it doesn't make you immune Committed relationships are committed relationships. I've seen people use a marriage certificate as a convenient out for why they can cheat, lie, etc. It's unacceptable. If you're in a committed relationship, be in a committed relationship. If you're not, make that clear. People are not disposable and treating them like they are is a recipe for a very lonely life.
With all of that being said, I believe there are five real things that you can do to enhance your relationship even WITH the presence of social media......
1. Speak positivity into the lives of your loved ones. I'm not going to tell you to be honest. That is kind of a given. Instead, I will tell you to speak positive things into the life of your spouse (or other loved ones). Give yourself a goal of saying at least 5 positive things per day to your spouse and watch how they shine. Lovers become more forgiving, more willing to encourage you, more thankful, and more productive in general. It's a fact of life that positive thoughts beget positive consequences (even if they take awhile). If you speak positivity into your spouse's life, you will get positive consequences.
2. Don't hide behind your hat . What I mean by this is simple: if you wouldn't say or do it with your spouse present, don't do it at all. If you wouldn't look at a website with your wife sitting right next to you, don't look at it at all. If you wouldn't send a picture to someone with your husband sitting right next to you, don't send it at all. This doesn't just apply to social media. This applies to real life. If you have to lie about who you're texting or messaging, you've already stepped over a line. If you have to lie about where you've been or what you've been doing, you've already stepped over a line. If you have to cover your tracks, you clearly know that you're doing something your spouse wouldn't approve of. If you can't live within your relationship's boundaries, you don't need to be in a relationship. Period.
3. Appreciate what you have. Instead of always wanting what someone else has, appreciate what you have. Focus on the good things about your spouse. Yes, there are always things that irritate you about your spouse. Yes there are deal breakers that need to be talked about with your spouse. With that being said, if you focus most of your attention on what is wonderful about your spouse, you'll spend a lot less time being angry at them. A shift in your mindset can make all the difference.
4. Don't make excuses. This kind of coincides with #2. Don't make excuses for your bad behavior. Don't place the blame on someone else for your actions. Hold yourself accountable for what you do. It's not anyone else's fault if you mess up and, quite frankly, your spouse is likely to be much more forgiving if you confess and apologize! No one is responsible for what you do except you.
5. Surround yourself with people who are for you, not against you It's really easy for someone to call you a "friend." It's a horse of a different color for them to actually behave that way. If your "friends" are trash talking your spouse (and no, I'm not referring to honest expression of concern from a friend or family member), they aren't being productive to your relationship. If you feel the need to trash talk your spouse in front of your friends so that you can fit in, you're not being productive to your relationship. If you surround yourself with negative people, you'll start to develop their approach.
and a little bonus.....
Just because you're not married, it doesn't make you immune Committed relationships are committed relationships. I've seen people use a marriage certificate as a convenient out for why they can cheat, lie, etc. It's unacceptable. If you're in a committed relationship, be in a committed relationship. If you're not, make that clear. People are not disposable and treating them like they are is a recipe for a very lonely life.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)