I dream of home ownership quite often, though I know the headaches that come with it. I dream of having a house of my own, something I can fix how I want. Somewhere I can have my pets without being told they're not allowed. So today, I choose to dream a little about what I want to own someday.
I'm a stickler for a house not being too big. Yes the mansions and enormous houses I see frequently are gorgeous but as my Grandma always said, "the more house you have, the more house you have to clean." With that being said, I want a house that has five or more bedrooms. I want for each of the kids to experience having their own bedroom...their own special space that we can paint a color they want and customize. I want to have my own space where I can create a haven for me to relax in.
I want a family room with a nice cushy sofa and chairs. I want the kind of sofa that you sink into and it wraps you up. I want the kind of sofa that you can nap on and it feels like you're sleeping on a cloud. I want a nice big TV for us to play video games or watch a movie or (for my own selfish needs) watch a hockey game. I want room for everyone to sit but I also want for us to not have so much clutter and junk that it collects dust. I want it to feel like home.
I want a big, sprawled out kitchen where I can cook and have ample counter space. I want really nice appliances and I want it stocked with amazing supplies that I can get once and not have to replace for decades.
I want a great shower head in my bathroom. There is nothing more wonderful to me than a hot shower and a great shower head makes it all the better.
I want a craft room/office. I want a space where I can craft my brains out in peace and not have to worry about anyone touching, shuffling things around or moving them. I also want a studio space where I can do my photography in peace.
I want a nice sized yard that I can landscape. I want flowers that I can look at, a vegetable (and herb) garden. I want a space to lay out and relax in the sun. I want a place to let the kids run through the sprinkler. I want a place to have a fire pit and roast hot dogs or s'mores.
I want a garage that is so intricately organized that I can find whatever I want at any given time BUT I want a garage that I can refinish things in. I'm not wanting to do it as a trade but as a hobby and I'd like to have the space to do it without people messing with it.
I want a mailbox that is unique...not something like everyone else's. I also want a house number that's the same way.
I want to create furniture and projects for the house. I want to refinish and build and do amazing things.
I want as little carpet as possible. It's a dust collector and a pain.
and finally....
I want a bedroom retreat with a nice cushy bed and tons of pillows to sleep on and cuddle up to. I want somewhere I can light candles and just relax and be zen for awhile.
Maybe all of this is way too much to ask but hey, a girl can dream, right?
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
I'm Nots
One of my least favorite things to hear people say is that they're NOT (___fill in awesome compliment___). I'm not pretty. I'm not smart. I'm not funny. I'm not athletic. While some of those are probably true of any of us at any given time, I think that it's important to really delve into the fact that as a person, you're always growing and changing. I get down on myself sometimes too but I think all of us need to remember that there's always an opportunity to learn something new. So here is my list of I'm Not's and the Answer I give myself for them.....
I'm not all that athletic but I'm working on it and I try. No one really taught me how to play sports as a kid as I was raised in a non-athletic, NASCAR family. With that being said, I love to learn new things and I want all of my kids to know how to throw and catch. I'm not all that athletic but I'm trying to improve on that.
I'm not an extraordinary beauty but I'm beautiful because I'm me. I'm not trying to be stuck up when I say that I'm beautiful. I just believe that beauty comes from the inside out and I love who I am on the inside. With that being said, I'm constantly growing and changing as a person so beauty changes with it. It matures as I mature. EVERYONE is beautiful and the world would do itself a service to remember that.
I'm not a genius but I'm intelligent and I'm learning all of the time. I hate when people say that they're not smart. Everyone is smart in their own way and some more ways than one. You might not be "book smart" but you might know every part of a car and how to take it apart and fix it. You might not be "street smart" but you can tell me all the details of various theories and studies. I love to learn about all different things and I believe that we constantly learn new and exciting things all of the time. I may not be a genius but I'm smart because I learn every day.
I'm not special but I'm unique. There is little more grating to me than hearing someone think that they're not special. You ARE special. There is no one else in the world like you. You are wonderful. You are made by God's hand and you are incredible exactly as you are!
I'm not lucky but I'm blessed. I will probably never win the lottery and I will likely never be a millionaire but I am blessed in what I have. I will keep working as hard as I can and I truly believe that God sees and rewards that!
Never let anyone take away your spirit. You are an amazing person exactly as you are. Stop believing the haters. Take your "I'm not's" and make them into "I Am's"
I'm not all that athletic but I'm working on it and I try. No one really taught me how to play sports as a kid as I was raised in a non-athletic, NASCAR family. With that being said, I love to learn new things and I want all of my kids to know how to throw and catch. I'm not all that athletic but I'm trying to improve on that.
I'm not an extraordinary beauty but I'm beautiful because I'm me. I'm not trying to be stuck up when I say that I'm beautiful. I just believe that beauty comes from the inside out and I love who I am on the inside. With that being said, I'm constantly growing and changing as a person so beauty changes with it. It matures as I mature. EVERYONE is beautiful and the world would do itself a service to remember that.
I'm not a genius but I'm intelligent and I'm learning all of the time. I hate when people say that they're not smart. Everyone is smart in their own way and some more ways than one. You might not be "book smart" but you might know every part of a car and how to take it apart and fix it. You might not be "street smart" but you can tell me all the details of various theories and studies. I love to learn about all different things and I believe that we constantly learn new and exciting things all of the time. I may not be a genius but I'm smart because I learn every day.
I'm not special but I'm unique. There is little more grating to me than hearing someone think that they're not special. You ARE special. There is no one else in the world like you. You are wonderful. You are made by God's hand and you are incredible exactly as you are!
I'm not lucky but I'm blessed. I will probably never win the lottery and I will likely never be a millionaire but I am blessed in what I have. I will keep working as hard as I can and I truly believe that God sees and rewards that!
Never let anyone take away your spirit. You are an amazing person exactly as you are. Stop believing the haters. Take your "I'm not's" and make them into "I Am's"
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Transformation Tuesday
On today, a Transformation Tuesday, I take an opportunity to renew my faith by saying that I believe that there are good things to come. In the face of a lot of crap going down in my life right now and a lot of people that are turning out to be liars, cheaters and thieves, I am looking at God and saying, "Thank You for taking the trash out. Thank You for clearing a path and thank You for the blessings yet to come."
God has a funny way of getting people into or out of your life. The internet has opened a whole new galaxy of adorkable people who honestly believe that their 270 Facebook friends will be there if they need them in a pinch. I truly believe the idea that God puts people in your life for a reason or a season. If they're there for a season and you keep trying to pull them back in, you're wasting your time, energy and breath. If they're there for a season and you push them out, you risk missing out on something amazing. We spend so much time, as a society, deciding what we deserve. Here's what EVERY person deserves: respect, dignity, and the opportunity to pursue their life in whatever religion, culture or ideal that they desire as long as it harms no one else. We are not entitled to any other crazy notions that we think up and we certainly aren't entitled to someone who doesn't love us magically changing their behavior to suit our needs. If someone doesn't want to be a part of your life or wants to damage you in order to make their life suitable to live, they aren't worth your time. Stop trying to hold on to baggage that you don't need. Let God take out the trash.
Sometimes God removes what you THINK is YOUR opportunity to shine. You get mad or angry. You have to wait and wait and wait and you think that He's not answering because you see no progress but, have no fear, He is waiting in the wings and he's about to knock your socks off. He sees your patience and he sees your efforts. He is just clearing a path. You can't get into the dream house you've always wanted if you're clinging to a starter home that you wanted just to have something of your own. Everybody, myself included, needs reminding on this one. Remember that it rains the hardest before the rainbow and let God clear the path for you.
and finally....
God is going to bless you. God promises that He will bless those that are faithful. He promises that He sees and that He walks with you. It's not always the way that you dreamed it to be but it's always the way of your dreams because He knows what's best for you. After all, He created you. Hang in there and know that God is blessing. Claim His blessings in your life and know that great things are coming!
God has a funny way of getting people into or out of your life. The internet has opened a whole new galaxy of adorkable people who honestly believe that their 270 Facebook friends will be there if they need them in a pinch. I truly believe the idea that God puts people in your life for a reason or a season. If they're there for a season and you keep trying to pull them back in, you're wasting your time, energy and breath. If they're there for a season and you push them out, you risk missing out on something amazing. We spend so much time, as a society, deciding what we deserve. Here's what EVERY person deserves: respect, dignity, and the opportunity to pursue their life in whatever religion, culture or ideal that they desire as long as it harms no one else. We are not entitled to any other crazy notions that we think up and we certainly aren't entitled to someone who doesn't love us magically changing their behavior to suit our needs. If someone doesn't want to be a part of your life or wants to damage you in order to make their life suitable to live, they aren't worth your time. Stop trying to hold on to baggage that you don't need. Let God take out the trash.
Sometimes God removes what you THINK is YOUR opportunity to shine. You get mad or angry. You have to wait and wait and wait and you think that He's not answering because you see no progress but, have no fear, He is waiting in the wings and he's about to knock your socks off. He sees your patience and he sees your efforts. He is just clearing a path. You can't get into the dream house you've always wanted if you're clinging to a starter home that you wanted just to have something of your own. Everybody, myself included, needs reminding on this one. Remember that it rains the hardest before the rainbow and let God clear the path for you.
and finally....
God is going to bless you. God promises that He will bless those that are faithful. He promises that He sees and that He walks with you. It's not always the way that you dreamed it to be but it's always the way of your dreams because He knows what's best for you. After all, He created you. Hang in there and know that God is blessing. Claim His blessings in your life and know that great things are coming!
Monday, April 28, 2014
10 Things That Make Me Incredibly Happy
After a somewhat hectic day yesterday, I wanted to really focus on the positive to start the work week. After all, I may get mad sometimes but I'm an optimist at heart and a pretty happy go lucky chick! So without further ado, here are ten things that make me really happy....
Having the opportunity to encourage someone I have a best friend who lives out of state that is working on losing weight and getting fit. While I have no need to lose weight, I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to be there encouraging her and rooting her on in her journey! I truly believe that the best way to show a person love is by encouraging them and telling them how wonderful and special they are with your words (and with your actions). I believe that this is why a lot of relationships fail...people aren't willing to keep courting their lover after they've secured them. Getting to encourage someone gives me incredible joy.
Doing random stuff with my kids My parents were Disney nuts. Scratch that: my mom was a Disney nut so we went to Disney World every year for several years as a kid. I know, I know...cringe at how under-privileged my childhood was, right? Haha I say that to say this...I have never taken my kids to Disney and I want to do it...but I want to do it ONE TIME. I have more fun exploring and just having a good time with them that the standardized theme park stuff. Yes, I do enjoy those things but I'd rather take a hike, pack a lunch and explore some crazy stuff.
Snuggling up in a good pair of yoga pants with a bowl of ice cream and watching a movie Yes, I said it. An active girl can be lazy too. There is little that I enjoy more at night than cuddling up in a nice pair of yoga pants and just watching a movie and relaxing. I'm not a big popcorn nut, nor do I like candy much and I think the price of movies anymore is OUTRAGEOUS. I'd rather spend my $20 buying it when it comes out so I can watch it another time. I'm a sucker for a romance but I have to be in the mood. I'm a comedy or horror movie chick and watching one of these with a big bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream is pretty much ideal. Favorites lately? "This is the End" and "House of 1000 Corpses" though "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" is also a great one for empowering someone. Hahaha
Quiet Time in the Morning A cup or two of coffee in the morning is how I like to start my day after a nice hot shower. It's extraordinarily quiet in the morning and the perfect time to enjoy some "woosah" time. You know the kind...the time where you can just sit and be alone with your thoughts: blog, surf the internet, send correspondence, whatever! Ideally I'd love to have a patio that I could sit at a little table with my coffee and watch the birds in a birdhouse or a birdbath while I blog or read the news. Quiet time in the morning is a must for a great day.
Watching sports with a crowd Okay, admittedly, I can be the loud obnoxious one when I'm watching sports, yelling at the screen . With that being said, there is nothing that compares with watching a game with a group of people who are just as into it as you are! Sports bar....party...or (best yet) the venue itself. I had nosebleed tickets to a pre-season Broncos game last year and it was the time of my life. I went to several hockey games this year and it was the time of my life. I'm going to a baseball game in a few days and my excitement is ridiculous! I love my sports!
Animals All types, really. I'm not a huge snake person ( mostly because I'm terrified of the venomous ones) but I love to observe them. I love going to the reptile store to see the turtles and the little lizards with their little personalities. I'm a sucker for the zoo and will go there a dozen times a year. Even more, though, I'm a sucker for domesticated animals like dogs and cats. I grew up in a house FULL of cats and dogs so I'm a sucker for the cuddling with these sweet animals, playing, running with them and a million other things.
Baking Now here's where the irony comes in. I love to bake but I'm not a fan of baked goods. One tiny piece of cake and I'm good. Half of a donut and I'm done. I love to bake though. I love to bake from scratch....cookies, pies, cakes, cupcakes..you name it. I love to bake it. Before I left Michigan, I had a ton of baking supplies including great cookie sheets and muffin pans and about every tool you could think of including fondant which I was only just starting to explore. It's all gone now but I hope to rebuild one day and start baking again. I love it!
My Family and Friends Okay some of my family and I aren't close at all and I'm fine with that. I have a select group of close friends and they are like family to me. The truth is, getting to be with them for any amount of time makes me ecstatic. Getting to talk to them on the phone soothes my soul. My family and friends make me incredibly happy.
Getting dolled up Quite honestly, most days I'm a jeans and ponytail girl because of my line of work. There is nothing more gratifying than getting all dolled up for whatever occasion. I love to get dolled up to go out to dinner or to go to a game. I love to get dolled up to go to church or whatever else. I love to get dolled up to go to an event at my kids' schools. I love to get dolled up just to feel sexy around the house. Sports-oriented as I might be, I'm still a girl at my core and I love getting dolled up to feel special.
and finally....
Holding Hands Yep, I'm a sucker for it. I hold hands with my kids as often as I can right now because they'll outgrow it at some point and I'll be left wondering what happened. I think the first thing that makes someone's heart skip a beat in a relationship is holding hands. I think that's the one thing I miss the most about relationships...hand holding. I love to see couples that have been together for years, decades...still holding hands. It's like saying "you still belong to me." And cue the lame romance movie music. Hahahaha
Having the opportunity to encourage someone I have a best friend who lives out of state that is working on losing weight and getting fit. While I have no need to lose weight, I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to be there encouraging her and rooting her on in her journey! I truly believe that the best way to show a person love is by encouraging them and telling them how wonderful and special they are with your words (and with your actions). I believe that this is why a lot of relationships fail...people aren't willing to keep courting their lover after they've secured them. Getting to encourage someone gives me incredible joy.
Doing random stuff with my kids My parents were Disney nuts. Scratch that: my mom was a Disney nut so we went to Disney World every year for several years as a kid. I know, I know...cringe at how under-privileged my childhood was, right? Haha I say that to say this...I have never taken my kids to Disney and I want to do it...but I want to do it ONE TIME. I have more fun exploring and just having a good time with them that the standardized theme park stuff. Yes, I do enjoy those things but I'd rather take a hike, pack a lunch and explore some crazy stuff.
Snuggling up in a good pair of yoga pants with a bowl of ice cream and watching a movie Yes, I said it. An active girl can be lazy too. There is little that I enjoy more at night than cuddling up in a nice pair of yoga pants and just watching a movie and relaxing. I'm not a big popcorn nut, nor do I like candy much and I think the price of movies anymore is OUTRAGEOUS. I'd rather spend my $20 buying it when it comes out so I can watch it another time. I'm a sucker for a romance but I have to be in the mood. I'm a comedy or horror movie chick and watching one of these with a big bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream is pretty much ideal. Favorites lately? "This is the End" and "House of 1000 Corpses" though "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" is also a great one for empowering someone. Hahaha
Quiet Time in the Morning A cup or two of coffee in the morning is how I like to start my day after a nice hot shower. It's extraordinarily quiet in the morning and the perfect time to enjoy some "woosah" time. You know the kind...the time where you can just sit and be alone with your thoughts: blog, surf the internet, send correspondence, whatever! Ideally I'd love to have a patio that I could sit at a little table with my coffee and watch the birds in a birdhouse or a birdbath while I blog or read the news. Quiet time in the morning is a must for a great day.
Watching sports with a crowd Okay, admittedly, I can be the loud obnoxious one when I'm watching sports, yelling at the screen . With that being said, there is nothing that compares with watching a game with a group of people who are just as into it as you are! Sports bar....party...or (best yet) the venue itself. I had nosebleed tickets to a pre-season Broncos game last year and it was the time of my life. I went to several hockey games this year and it was the time of my life. I'm going to a baseball game in a few days and my excitement is ridiculous! I love my sports!
Animals All types, really. I'm not a huge snake person ( mostly because I'm terrified of the venomous ones) but I love to observe them. I love going to the reptile store to see the turtles and the little lizards with their little personalities. I'm a sucker for the zoo and will go there a dozen times a year. Even more, though, I'm a sucker for domesticated animals like dogs and cats. I grew up in a house FULL of cats and dogs so I'm a sucker for the cuddling with these sweet animals, playing, running with them and a million other things.
Baking Now here's where the irony comes in. I love to bake but I'm not a fan of baked goods. One tiny piece of cake and I'm good. Half of a donut and I'm done. I love to bake though. I love to bake from scratch....cookies, pies, cakes, cupcakes..you name it. I love to bake it. Before I left Michigan, I had a ton of baking supplies including great cookie sheets and muffin pans and about every tool you could think of including fondant which I was only just starting to explore. It's all gone now but I hope to rebuild one day and start baking again. I love it!
My Family and Friends Okay some of my family and I aren't close at all and I'm fine with that. I have a select group of close friends and they are like family to me. The truth is, getting to be with them for any amount of time makes me ecstatic. Getting to talk to them on the phone soothes my soul. My family and friends make me incredibly happy.
Getting dolled up Quite honestly, most days I'm a jeans and ponytail girl because of my line of work. There is nothing more gratifying than getting all dolled up for whatever occasion. I love to get dolled up to go out to dinner or to go to a game. I love to get dolled up to go to church or whatever else. I love to get dolled up to go to an event at my kids' schools. I love to get dolled up just to feel sexy around the house. Sports-oriented as I might be, I'm still a girl at my core and I love getting dolled up to feel special.
and finally....
Holding Hands Yep, I'm a sucker for it. I hold hands with my kids as often as I can right now because they'll outgrow it at some point and I'll be left wondering what happened. I think the first thing that makes someone's heart skip a beat in a relationship is holding hands. I think that's the one thing I miss the most about relationships...hand holding. I love to see couples that have been together for years, decades...still holding hands. It's like saying "you still belong to me." And cue the lame romance movie music. Hahahaha
Sunday, April 27, 2014
A Simple Explanation of SPD
One of my sons has Sensory Processing Disorder. Not a lot is known about this, although more and more information is becoming available. Let me explain in his words what being in his head for a day feels like (I'm paraphrasing some but it's the general explanation he gives).
It's like having a thousand TVs on at one time. All of the TVs are at top volume and they're all on different channels. There's also a radio playing with a lot of bass and someone is poking you with a dental hook while you're smelling a mix of skunk, clean laundry, and one of those car air fresheners all at one time. On top of that, someone is bouncing your chair up and down.
THAT is what it's like for a Sensory Processing child just to go through a day. They often seem like they're off in their own little world. They tend to be introverted. Who wouldn't be with all of that going on in his head at once?
Now here's an explanation of what a meltdown feels like to them:
I start to feel like I can't breathe and my chest is so tight. I'm hot and then I'm cold and then I'm hot and then I'm cold. I feel like I can hear my heart beat in my chest and the thousand TVs that are on get even louder and they all seem to have blurry things on the screen so I can't make it out. The person poking me with the dental hook is also tickling and then pouring water on me so I'm feeling so much at once. I try to calm down but it just feels like I can't. I can't calm down. I can't stop. I have to keep screaming or crying or saying things because it's the only thing that quiets the noise.
Kids with SPD are known for rocking, spinning, or shaking a limb all of the time. Here's his explanation:
When I bounce my leg, it helps me to feel calmer and it keeps my brain busy so I can think some more. My teacher put something under my chair so I can bounce my feet without disturbing people in class. It's not that I mean to disturb people but it's easier for me to think if I can just keep busy sometimes.
And finally....what is his explanation for how people treat him?
My family doesn't treat me different. I'm still just Daniel. Some kids say I'm different because I use my imagination a lot or because I don't like to do the same things they do. Football hurts me more than it hurts a lot of other people. I don't get sad as easy but I feel the pain easier than other people do. Something that only stings a little to someone else hurts bad to me. I don't worry about what people think too much because my family loves me.
This was taken from a project that Daniel did to explain things a little better to others about his challenges. Kids are still jerks and some adults are too but education is power and I hope that someday, people can understand the full extent of these challenges and how to encourage people to overcome them.
It's like having a thousand TVs on at one time. All of the TVs are at top volume and they're all on different channels. There's also a radio playing with a lot of bass and someone is poking you with a dental hook while you're smelling a mix of skunk, clean laundry, and one of those car air fresheners all at one time. On top of that, someone is bouncing your chair up and down.
THAT is what it's like for a Sensory Processing child just to go through a day. They often seem like they're off in their own little world. They tend to be introverted. Who wouldn't be with all of that going on in his head at once?
Now here's an explanation of what a meltdown feels like to them:
I start to feel like I can't breathe and my chest is so tight. I'm hot and then I'm cold and then I'm hot and then I'm cold. I feel like I can hear my heart beat in my chest and the thousand TVs that are on get even louder and they all seem to have blurry things on the screen so I can't make it out. The person poking me with the dental hook is also tickling and then pouring water on me so I'm feeling so much at once. I try to calm down but it just feels like I can't. I can't calm down. I can't stop. I have to keep screaming or crying or saying things because it's the only thing that quiets the noise.
Kids with SPD are known for rocking, spinning, or shaking a limb all of the time. Here's his explanation:
When I bounce my leg, it helps me to feel calmer and it keeps my brain busy so I can think some more. My teacher put something under my chair so I can bounce my feet without disturbing people in class. It's not that I mean to disturb people but it's easier for me to think if I can just keep busy sometimes.
And finally....what is his explanation for how people treat him?
My family doesn't treat me different. I'm still just Daniel. Some kids say I'm different because I use my imagination a lot or because I don't like to do the same things they do. Football hurts me more than it hurts a lot of other people. I don't get sad as easy but I feel the pain easier than other people do. Something that only stings a little to someone else hurts bad to me. I don't worry about what people think too much because my family loves me.
This was taken from a project that Daniel did to explain things a little better to others about his challenges. Kids are still jerks and some adults are too but education is power and I hope that someday, people can understand the full extent of these challenges and how to encourage people to overcome them.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Green Mountain
So I took the kids hiking at Green Mountain today. 6.3 miles of beautiful scenery and incredible weather, albeit a little bit windy. Admittedly, some parts of the hike were easier than others. We started the path on the "easy part" and it was a relatively nice, calm hike: nothing too steep or stressful. The flowers are starting to bloom and the grass is starting to perk up. The grasshoppers and crickets were out with a vengeance and we saw a couple of different caterpillars scurrying across the path that we made sure to protect. Here are some of the bullet points from my day today:
*Picnic lunches are a blast but are easier when you have more than one person who can carry a back pack with this many people. Our blanket was barely big enough. In addition, it was INCREDIBLY windy and a bit challenging to get it laid down and folded back up. With that being said, PB&J sandwiches, trail mix and potato chips seem a little sweeter when you're eating them in a picnic.
*Spray on sunscreen is just not as efficient. We doused ourselves in it and I still ended up sunburned. Argh!
*Even the teeniest, most scrawny flowers in the tallest grass are beautiful at this time of year. Vibrant yellows, purples, and other colors. I almost want to walk the trail again a few months from now and look at how different it looks.
*Nature is at it's finest with our six and eight legged friends. There were so many high flying grasshoppers and crickets, ants, and caterpillars around. The kids wanted desperately to take a caterpillar home but I explained to them that some things are better left in nature. The butterflies will be happier in their homes. We can observe it and that's fine but leave it where it is.
*Bikers are CRAZY out there. We regularly had to jump off the trail to accommodate a biker (or jogger) but EVERY one of them was courteous and kind about it, thanking us and being very friendly.
*It is very easy to distract kids from worrying about how tired they are if you interest them in something else. My motivator was telling a story and letting someone else take over part of the way through. I think my favorite moment was Syd telling the story and saying, "And she used her super power to give her brother a bonk on the head because he wouldn't stop interrupting." Hahahaha. They're funny but they sure do love each other.
*It's enormously fun to make your teenage daughter roll her eyes at you for telling her that the giant rock formation is Tyrannosaurus dookie. If that's the worst thing she does as a teenager, I can't complain much.
*My butt, legs and feet are SO sore. I definitely need a new pair of running shoes because mine are worn WAY too thin. I'm definitely in need of a hot oil massage and a bath.
*Colorado is an amazing place. There is always something to look at and explore. This particular trip was under 10 miles from my house :)
*Picnic lunches are a blast but are easier when you have more than one person who can carry a back pack with this many people. Our blanket was barely big enough. In addition, it was INCREDIBLY windy and a bit challenging to get it laid down and folded back up. With that being said, PB&J sandwiches, trail mix and potato chips seem a little sweeter when you're eating them in a picnic.
*Spray on sunscreen is just not as efficient. We doused ourselves in it and I still ended up sunburned. Argh!
*Even the teeniest, most scrawny flowers in the tallest grass are beautiful at this time of year. Vibrant yellows, purples, and other colors. I almost want to walk the trail again a few months from now and look at how different it looks.
*Nature is at it's finest with our six and eight legged friends. There were so many high flying grasshoppers and crickets, ants, and caterpillars around. The kids wanted desperately to take a caterpillar home but I explained to them that some things are better left in nature. The butterflies will be happier in their homes. We can observe it and that's fine but leave it where it is.
*Bikers are CRAZY out there. We regularly had to jump off the trail to accommodate a biker (or jogger) but EVERY one of them was courteous and kind about it, thanking us and being very friendly.
*It is very easy to distract kids from worrying about how tired they are if you interest them in something else. My motivator was telling a story and letting someone else take over part of the way through. I think my favorite moment was Syd telling the story and saying, "And she used her super power to give her brother a bonk on the head because he wouldn't stop interrupting." Hahahaha. They're funny but they sure do love each other.
*It's enormously fun to make your teenage daughter roll her eyes at you for telling her that the giant rock formation is Tyrannosaurus dookie. If that's the worst thing she does as a teenager, I can't complain much.
*My butt, legs and feet are SO sore. I definitely need a new pair of running shoes because mine are worn WAY too thin. I'm definitely in need of a hot oil massage and a bath.
*Colorado is an amazing place. There is always something to look at and explore. This particular trip was under 10 miles from my house :)
Friday, April 25, 2014
Finding the Humor
After having one of those "oh my God I can't believe I did that" moments last night because of a temporary lapse of memory (due to stress, I'm sure), I'm feeling like a real oaf right now. Sadly, the only thing I can do is laugh. I'd love to sit here and pick myself apart but I can do nothing but laugh. Here's a little secret that describes my philosophy on life...Find the humor as often as you can and you will never live a day beating yourself up again.
I am actually known in my circle for an incredible memory. Now whether age or some other factor has played in or not, I am suffering very small and minute temporary lapses in memory. Nothing serious, mind you. I've just had some very real "oh crap!" moments lately where I've forgotten things. It might just be that I have a million things going on at once or that I have a reliance on my calendars that I am not always great about updating but I have a million things going on and I keep forgetting things.
In those "oh crap" moments, and all other moments where I realize I've messed up, I have to find the humor in it. I laugh at myself on the regular. I laugh at others, too. I don't mean that in a cruel way. I mean it in the nicest possible way, actually. I mean that when others screw up, I try to find the humor in it too. Laughter truly is the best medicine and avoiding causing myself a bout of high blood pressure, stress headache and nauseousness is the most productive way to live. I try to find the humor where I can.
I encourage others to think the same way. Even in the midst of the most awful situation, try to find some humor...something to make your heart a little less heavy. It may be what saves you a hell of a lot of hurt.
I am actually known in my circle for an incredible memory. Now whether age or some other factor has played in or not, I am suffering very small and minute temporary lapses in memory. Nothing serious, mind you. I've just had some very real "oh crap!" moments lately where I've forgotten things. It might just be that I have a million things going on at once or that I have a reliance on my calendars that I am not always great about updating but I have a million things going on and I keep forgetting things.
In those "oh crap" moments, and all other moments where I realize I've messed up, I have to find the humor in it. I laugh at myself on the regular. I laugh at others, too. I don't mean that in a cruel way. I mean it in the nicest possible way, actually. I mean that when others screw up, I try to find the humor in it too. Laughter truly is the best medicine and avoiding causing myself a bout of high blood pressure, stress headache and nauseousness is the most productive way to live. I try to find the humor where I can.
I encourage others to think the same way. Even in the midst of the most awful situation, try to find some humor...something to make your heart a little less heavy. It may be what saves you a hell of a lot of hurt.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Throw Back Thursday
Oh Dear Heavens, the Sweetness.....
Starring in Throwback Thursday this week,
my little Drew Boo
God I love that kid. He was so chubby :)
12 Worst Things to Say to A Woman Post-Break Up
1. You're Better Off Without Him This is a trap because there's no happy outcome from this. Either the woman is going to be protective and say that they aren't better off and that this is not for the better OR the woman is going to be defensive and angry that you would suggest something that they already knew. This is an especially dangerous thing to say after the first couple of days. For the first couple of days, the anger is going so strong that you can lift a bus. After that, it starts to wane (as you go through the grief process) and it becomes habit to be defensive.
2. He was a Jerk Well, yes, in theory, he probably was a jerk if they broke up....or so she may think at the time. The fact is that this is another statement that is like a blow pop....it's fine the first couple of days while you're dealing with the hard outer coating but once you get into the soft gooey bubble gum, it's not something that is quite as easy to say because people soften up as they grieve. Jerk today, remember the past tomorrow.
3. What are You Gonna Do Now? This is almost cruel to say. If she knew what she was going to do, she probably would be doing it. Going through a transition after breaking up with someone is an enormous change in lifestyle. Give them time to think before you attack with that question.
4. Well I know this guy.... Ugh, don't even SUGGEST dating to someone who's just broken up. They are either in a "I'll never love again" place or a "I'm over men" place. Either way, they do NOT want to hear about this guy you know.
5. What did he do? I can't say this is a bad question for everyone but the fact is that most women don't want to rehash the events of their break ups in the first couple of weeks or months. After that, when the wound is not so fresh, maybe.
6. He's Probably Off With Some Other Girl Right Now Okay, YES, some guys do cheat....in fact, it's prevalent anymore. With that being said, not every break up is about him cheating. Not every break up means that he was stepping out. Even if that WAS the case, rubbing salt in a wound like that is NOT okay.
7. He Was Always Too _____ Anyway I left a blank because there's always a phrase people throw in. He was always too needy. He was always too jealous. He was always too mean anyway. Whatever the case may be, he was not ALWAYS that way or she wouldn't have been with him to begin with. Somewhere along the line, she saw something good in him and you criticizing him is not helping her to heal. It's making her defensive.
8. I Hope That He Ends Up With ____ Yeah vengeance, another no no. Again, I can't say that everyone dislikes this. With that being said, the last thing a lot of girls want to think about when they're dealing with the loss (whether they initiated it or not) of a lover is him going through something terrible. Love doesn't go away overnight. Telling her that you hope he ends up with amoebic dysentery is not productive.
9. You Should Just Probably Not Date With Your Luck Way to kick her when she's down. How about you let her heal from what she's going through and THEN she can decide whether or not she's going to enter the dating world again
10. Remember when he.... Okay this is not always a negative but telling some incredible story of what he did with her is not going to help her heal. It's going to make her sad or mad or some other emotion that she doesn't want to deal with. Give it time before you bring that crap up.
11. You Know What You NEED to Do? You NEED to... Okay, I'm not a fan of telling people what they need to do anyway but after a break up, the last thing someone needs is someone telling them what they NEED to do. Let them gather up their strength and cope in the best way they can. Stop telling them how to feel.
12. I Don't Know Why You Care What Happens to Him Okay let me be clear on this one...even women that have been to hell and back because of a man care what happens to him. That's what love is. The very definition of unconditional love is that you love someone so much that it doesn't matter what they say or do, you still love them. If a woman has gone through a break up with someone that they unconditionally love, let me tell you a secret...they still love them. Because of that, they still care what happens to them. I don't know why you care...because they love them, even if they know that being with them is not the best thing.
2. He was a Jerk Well, yes, in theory, he probably was a jerk if they broke up....or so she may think at the time. The fact is that this is another statement that is like a blow pop....it's fine the first couple of days while you're dealing with the hard outer coating but once you get into the soft gooey bubble gum, it's not something that is quite as easy to say because people soften up as they grieve. Jerk today, remember the past tomorrow.
3. What are You Gonna Do Now? This is almost cruel to say. If she knew what she was going to do, she probably would be doing it. Going through a transition after breaking up with someone is an enormous change in lifestyle. Give them time to think before you attack with that question.
4. Well I know this guy.... Ugh, don't even SUGGEST dating to someone who's just broken up. They are either in a "I'll never love again" place or a "I'm over men" place. Either way, they do NOT want to hear about this guy you know.
5. What did he do? I can't say this is a bad question for everyone but the fact is that most women don't want to rehash the events of their break ups in the first couple of weeks or months. After that, when the wound is not so fresh, maybe.
6. He's Probably Off With Some Other Girl Right Now Okay, YES, some guys do cheat....in fact, it's prevalent anymore. With that being said, not every break up is about him cheating. Not every break up means that he was stepping out. Even if that WAS the case, rubbing salt in a wound like that is NOT okay.
7. He Was Always Too _____ Anyway I left a blank because there's always a phrase people throw in. He was always too needy. He was always too jealous. He was always too mean anyway. Whatever the case may be, he was not ALWAYS that way or she wouldn't have been with him to begin with. Somewhere along the line, she saw something good in him and you criticizing him is not helping her to heal. It's making her defensive.
8. I Hope That He Ends Up With ____ Yeah vengeance, another no no. Again, I can't say that everyone dislikes this. With that being said, the last thing a lot of girls want to think about when they're dealing with the loss (whether they initiated it or not) of a lover is him going through something terrible. Love doesn't go away overnight. Telling her that you hope he ends up with amoebic dysentery is not productive.
9. You Should Just Probably Not Date With Your Luck Way to kick her when she's down. How about you let her heal from what she's going through and THEN she can decide whether or not she's going to enter the dating world again
10. Remember when he.... Okay this is not always a negative but telling some incredible story of what he did with her is not going to help her heal. It's going to make her sad or mad or some other emotion that she doesn't want to deal with. Give it time before you bring that crap up.
11. You Know What You NEED to Do? You NEED to... Okay, I'm not a fan of telling people what they need to do anyway but after a break up, the last thing someone needs is someone telling them what they NEED to do. Let them gather up their strength and cope in the best way they can. Stop telling them how to feel.
12. I Don't Know Why You Care What Happens to Him Okay let me be clear on this one...even women that have been to hell and back because of a man care what happens to him. That's what love is. The very definition of unconditional love is that you love someone so much that it doesn't matter what they say or do, you still love them. If a woman has gone through a break up with someone that they unconditionally love, let me tell you a secret...they still love them. Because of that, they still care what happens to them. I don't know why you care...because they love them, even if they know that being with them is not the best thing.
"Getting Over it" is alot like Burying Your Pet in the Burial Grounds Beyond the Pet Sematary
Does anyone else see the similarity of the two? (...and yes, the misspell is intentional as that is how it's spelled in the book by Stephen King). If not, let me explain....
You Bury Something in Both Instances This one is sort of obvious but true. When you're trying to get over something, the last thing you want to do is spend time rehashing every single detail every single moment of the day. You bury it to avoid having to hurt/be angry.
You Bury It With the Best Of Intentions Everyone tells you not to dwell on the past so you bury it hoping to avoid dealing with it until you're ready. Oh sure, they bury the child in the movie with the best of intentions too...and look what happens there.
Something is wrong with the ground its buried in In the movie, it's evil but in your heart, when you're burying it, it's more that it's wounded. The ground is already bitter and mucked up in your heart when you're letting go of something...now you're adding to it.
It comes back looking the same Oh sure your problem will pop back up and be all sunshine and roses. It'll look wonderful and you'll be so happy to see it again in a positive light that you'll forget all the negative crap that caused the problem to begin with.
BUT.....
It comes back worse and harder and more dangerous Quite simply, it comes back to hurt you. It comes back to make you deal with things. It comes back with a vengeance.
Maybe "get over it" isn't the best way to deal with it. Maybe, as much as it hurts, you need to unwrap it and do an autopsy...figure out what caused it and where the bad parts were. It won't fix the problem at hand but it might prevent you from making the same decision in the future.
You Bury Something in Both Instances This one is sort of obvious but true. When you're trying to get over something, the last thing you want to do is spend time rehashing every single detail every single moment of the day. You bury it to avoid having to hurt/be angry.
You Bury It With the Best Of Intentions Everyone tells you not to dwell on the past so you bury it hoping to avoid dealing with it until you're ready. Oh sure, they bury the child in the movie with the best of intentions too...and look what happens there.
Something is wrong with the ground its buried in In the movie, it's evil but in your heart, when you're burying it, it's more that it's wounded. The ground is already bitter and mucked up in your heart when you're letting go of something...now you're adding to it.
It comes back looking the same Oh sure your problem will pop back up and be all sunshine and roses. It'll look wonderful and you'll be so happy to see it again in a positive light that you'll forget all the negative crap that caused the problem to begin with.
BUT.....
It comes back worse and harder and more dangerous Quite simply, it comes back to hurt you. It comes back to make you deal with things. It comes back with a vengeance.
Maybe "get over it" isn't the best way to deal with it. Maybe, as much as it hurts, you need to unwrap it and do an autopsy...figure out what caused it and where the bad parts were. It won't fix the problem at hand but it might prevent you from making the same decision in the future.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Silence is NOT Surrender
In this age of anti-bullying, silence is looked upon as a weakness. In some times, it probably could be construed that way BUT there are times when it's perfectly acceptable and, more than that, healthy. Sometimes it's the words that you don't speak that make a difference. Here are a few other things that are considered weak....but aren't.
Silence This is the first and biggest to me. People view not getting the last word as a way of a way of surrendering their power. This is NOT the case. In fact, it's nowhere even CLOSE to the case. Your silence is about your sanity and your strength. You know that someone is speaking ill of you and you choose to continue to live your life the same way. It doesn't matter what they say because you have strength within you. They'll get mean...they'll use your weakest and most vulnerable parts as their ammunition. Your silence just simply means you choose not to give those ideas merit.
Crying It has taken me a lonnnnng time to understand that crying does not mean weakness. I've always been a person that believes that women use crying as a manipulation tool. It's why I hate to cry in front of anyone, regardless of the situation. The reality of it is that crying isn't weak. It means that you're human. It's actually good for your body and soul to let loose sometimes.
Moving On Moving on is not about revenge or running, it's about closure. It's about understanding that some things or people are in your life for a season and you have to be willing to move past that season when it's time to be done. You can want summer to stay as much as you want but autumn still comes. Moving on is acceptance.
and finally...
Apologies Apologies come in all shapes and sizes. Most are meant to ask forgiveness and promise to modify your behavior. These are not weak but strong in their essence because it means that you are admitting weakness. Some apologies, though, are about letting someone know that you're there to support them and you feel badly that they feel badly. Support systems, friends, family...these are where these apologies normally come from. They aren't weak; they're kind.
Instead of looking at the weakness and vulnerability of your approach, look at the big picture. Can you live without the thing or person you're worried about being vulnerable in front of? Chances are, you need to swallow your pride and choose the risk of vulnerability or you'll lose them (or it) and wish you would have just surrendered when you had the chance.
Silence This is the first and biggest to me. People view not getting the last word as a way of a way of surrendering their power. This is NOT the case. In fact, it's nowhere even CLOSE to the case. Your silence is about your sanity and your strength. You know that someone is speaking ill of you and you choose to continue to live your life the same way. It doesn't matter what they say because you have strength within you. They'll get mean...they'll use your weakest and most vulnerable parts as their ammunition. Your silence just simply means you choose not to give those ideas merit.
Crying It has taken me a lonnnnng time to understand that crying does not mean weakness. I've always been a person that believes that women use crying as a manipulation tool. It's why I hate to cry in front of anyone, regardless of the situation. The reality of it is that crying isn't weak. It means that you're human. It's actually good for your body and soul to let loose sometimes.
Moving On Moving on is not about revenge or running, it's about closure. It's about understanding that some things or people are in your life for a season and you have to be willing to move past that season when it's time to be done. You can want summer to stay as much as you want but autumn still comes. Moving on is acceptance.
and finally...
Apologies Apologies come in all shapes and sizes. Most are meant to ask forgiveness and promise to modify your behavior. These are not weak but strong in their essence because it means that you are admitting weakness. Some apologies, though, are about letting someone know that you're there to support them and you feel badly that they feel badly. Support systems, friends, family...these are where these apologies normally come from. They aren't weak; they're kind.
Instead of looking at the weakness and vulnerability of your approach, look at the big picture. Can you live without the thing or person you're worried about being vulnerable in front of? Chances are, you need to swallow your pride and choose the risk of vulnerability or you'll lose them (or it) and wish you would have just surrendered when you had the chance.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
My Plan to Take Back Beautiful
I cringe, almost daily, at the amount of men that objectify and put women down for not being "as hot as" some celebrity. I cringe even more, though, at the women that do it to themselves. Rest assured... I have a plan for conquering this ridiculousness that I will share now.....
1. The magazines are quick to deem someone beautiful and most of the time, they're showing off their body. We, as consumers, look at it and say, "Wow she's beautiful" because the public eye is telling us that. Let's stop buying the magazines. You don't really need an article to tell you how to be the best friend you can be. Stop supporting the public perception of "beauty" and start making your own.
2. I think that every single woman in the world should be shown some of these "gorgeous" celebrities as they really are. I'm talking no make up, un planned, unflattering photographs. Celebrities in their real environment...not their "selfie" environment. Spoiler Alert: They're more like you and I than you think.
3. I think that every woman should see the Photo Shop and Airbrush projects that go into magazine covers. You can turn anyone into anything and you just need a laptop and some good software (and a high res photo works best). ANYONE can look like a cover model with some good photo shop and airbrush editing.
4. I think that every woman should get a real look at the diets that a lot of these models and celebrities eat....especially once they hit 30. Let's just say that most of them don't enjoy "good food" on a regular basis. Most of them are limited to restricted calories.
5. I think that every woman should get a look at the workout regimens that they have to keep up in order to maintain that figure. Chances are if you did the same regimen, you'd look that way too.
6. I think that every woman should realize that a good portion of celebrities have had some sort of work from veneers or other dental work to botox to cosmetic surgery to skin treatments. Some of them are very real but most of them have had something done to enhance their appearance, some more drastic than others.
7. I think that we should redefine beauty. I have seen gorgeous women that wear XXL clothing and I've seen gorgeous ones in size 0. I've seen gorgeous women in every skin color with every skin type. I've seen gorgeous women with big boobs and some with small boobs. I've seen gorgeous women with curly hair, straight hair, wavy hair, long hair, short hair and no hair at all. I've seen gorgeous women with every body type. I've seen gorgeous women with features that the world deems unloveable (big noses, etc) that own them. Gorgeous comes from the inside out so let's redefine it.
8. I think we should aim for health and self-confidence. Instead of focusing so much on a goal size or a goal weight, let's aim for health. Let's aim for creating healthy insides too....nurturing our spirit and our emotions. Let's aim for health and self-confidence because THAT radiates from the inside out.
9. I think we should bring up this generation to understand redefined beauty. Instead of raising our girls to be mean girls, let's raise them to think that everyone has beauty.
and finally....
10. Let's teach the men of this world that spending your time and effort looking only for exterior beauty is a waste. Let's teach them that we don't have to walk around practically naked to be beautiful. Let's teach them that we are wonderful whether we look like a celebrity or not. Let's teach them that fantasies aren't always what they make them out to be. Let's teach them about real beauty.
1. The magazines are quick to deem someone beautiful and most of the time, they're showing off their body. We, as consumers, look at it and say, "Wow she's beautiful" because the public eye is telling us that. Let's stop buying the magazines. You don't really need an article to tell you how to be the best friend you can be. Stop supporting the public perception of "beauty" and start making your own.
2. I think that every single woman in the world should be shown some of these "gorgeous" celebrities as they really are. I'm talking no make up, un planned, unflattering photographs. Celebrities in their real environment...not their "selfie" environment. Spoiler Alert: They're more like you and I than you think.
3. I think that every woman should see the Photo Shop and Airbrush projects that go into magazine covers. You can turn anyone into anything and you just need a laptop and some good software (and a high res photo works best). ANYONE can look like a cover model with some good photo shop and airbrush editing.
4. I think that every woman should get a real look at the diets that a lot of these models and celebrities eat....especially once they hit 30. Let's just say that most of them don't enjoy "good food" on a regular basis. Most of them are limited to restricted calories.
5. I think that every woman should get a look at the workout regimens that they have to keep up in order to maintain that figure. Chances are if you did the same regimen, you'd look that way too.
6. I think that every woman should realize that a good portion of celebrities have had some sort of work from veneers or other dental work to botox to cosmetic surgery to skin treatments. Some of them are very real but most of them have had something done to enhance their appearance, some more drastic than others.
7. I think that we should redefine beauty. I have seen gorgeous women that wear XXL clothing and I've seen gorgeous ones in size 0. I've seen gorgeous women in every skin color with every skin type. I've seen gorgeous women with big boobs and some with small boobs. I've seen gorgeous women with curly hair, straight hair, wavy hair, long hair, short hair and no hair at all. I've seen gorgeous women with every body type. I've seen gorgeous women with features that the world deems unloveable (big noses, etc) that own them. Gorgeous comes from the inside out so let's redefine it.
8. I think we should aim for health and self-confidence. Instead of focusing so much on a goal size or a goal weight, let's aim for health. Let's aim for creating healthy insides too....nurturing our spirit and our emotions. Let's aim for health and self-confidence because THAT radiates from the inside out.
9. I think we should bring up this generation to understand redefined beauty. Instead of raising our girls to be mean girls, let's raise them to think that everyone has beauty.
and finally....
10. Let's teach the men of this world that spending your time and effort looking only for exterior beauty is a waste. Let's teach them that we don't have to walk around practically naked to be beautiful. Let's teach them that we are wonderful whether we look like a celebrity or not. Let's teach them that fantasies aren't always what they make them out to be. Let's teach them about real beauty.
Monday, April 21, 2014
The Real Signs of Closure
One of my favorite movies is "Diary of a Mad Black Woman". One of the things that Madea says in that movie is that if you're still pissed off, you aren't over it. Tyler Perry's genius in writing this is that this is a psychological truth. You can feel like you're over something but if you still get mad thinking about it, you're not over it. Life's funny that way.
Recently, I've been pissed off a lot at one particular person. More than that, I've felt hurt or betrayed; most of the time I'm not sure which. This person did the one thing that I can't stand more than anything: they lied to me. Not only did they lie but when they got called on the lie, they denied it (therefore, lying again) and blamed me. Essentially they attempted to manipulate me into believing that it was MY fault that THEY made a bad choice. Sadly, for a heartbeat, I let myself believe it.
I think that it all changed when I saw my child imitate my behavior, which is normally not a bad thing. He did something that, to an outsider, seemed like a noble behavior. Instead, I saw it for what it was....it was an attempt too cover someone else's fault. It was an attempt to make someone else's wrong okay. While it was noble to try to protect someone's integrity, it's not something I want them to learn as a behavior. Enabling someone else to behave like a jerk is not a healthy behavior.
The scary part of it is that I had thought so much about it that my head hurt more than my heart but the minute I saw that, it was like a change took place. I transformed into someone that was wiser and stronger. I wasn't bitter. I wasn't angry. I wasn't even sad. I was wiser and at peace with my decision. I wasn't mad anymore. I was over it.
Who's to say why people feel entitled enough to treat others like they're less important? Who's to say why people make the bad choices that they do? Is it genetics? Is it upbringing? Is it just a selfishness deep inside them? Is it habit? Maybe it's different for everyone. Even those that were raised in the worst possible circumstance can develop a sense of entitlement if they're allowed to. In fact, sometimes people use their past circumstances as an excuse that entitles them to be a jerk. Here's what I say to that: Your past does not define you. Yes, it is part of who you are but you have the ability to overcome that and be a better person. You have the opportunity to not repeat your past.
Here is the mantra I have chosen to get through those weak moments where I question myself: I am worth more than second best. I am wonderful in a million ways and if someone chooses not to appreciate that, they are not wonderful themselves. I have done my best and the best is all I can do. I am stronger because I have learned from my past. I am wiser because I have chosen not to repeat bad decisions. I am an incredible woman and I deserve the very best.
Maybe that won't be your mantra. Develop your own, but don't let someone else define you and don't let your past become your baggage. Live life knowing that you are the best person you can be and choose to surround yourself with people that behave accordingly.
Recently, I've been pissed off a lot at one particular person. More than that, I've felt hurt or betrayed; most of the time I'm not sure which. This person did the one thing that I can't stand more than anything: they lied to me. Not only did they lie but when they got called on the lie, they denied it (therefore, lying again) and blamed me. Essentially they attempted to manipulate me into believing that it was MY fault that THEY made a bad choice. Sadly, for a heartbeat, I let myself believe it.
I think that it all changed when I saw my child imitate my behavior, which is normally not a bad thing. He did something that, to an outsider, seemed like a noble behavior. Instead, I saw it for what it was....it was an attempt too cover someone else's fault. It was an attempt to make someone else's wrong okay. While it was noble to try to protect someone's integrity, it's not something I want them to learn as a behavior. Enabling someone else to behave like a jerk is not a healthy behavior.
The scary part of it is that I had thought so much about it that my head hurt more than my heart but the minute I saw that, it was like a change took place. I transformed into someone that was wiser and stronger. I wasn't bitter. I wasn't angry. I wasn't even sad. I was wiser and at peace with my decision. I wasn't mad anymore. I was over it.
Who's to say why people feel entitled enough to treat others like they're less important? Who's to say why people make the bad choices that they do? Is it genetics? Is it upbringing? Is it just a selfishness deep inside them? Is it habit? Maybe it's different for everyone. Even those that were raised in the worst possible circumstance can develop a sense of entitlement if they're allowed to. In fact, sometimes people use their past circumstances as an excuse that entitles them to be a jerk. Here's what I say to that: Your past does not define you. Yes, it is part of who you are but you have the ability to overcome that and be a better person. You have the opportunity to not repeat your past.
Here is the mantra I have chosen to get through those weak moments where I question myself: I am worth more than second best. I am wonderful in a million ways and if someone chooses not to appreciate that, they are not wonderful themselves. I have done my best and the best is all I can do. I am stronger because I have learned from my past. I am wiser because I have chosen not to repeat bad decisions. I am an incredible woman and I deserve the very best.
Maybe that won't be your mantra. Develop your own, but don't let someone else define you and don't let your past become your baggage. Live life knowing that you are the best person you can be and choose to surround yourself with people that behave accordingly.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Easter Traditions....Old and New
I won't lie...Easter is one of my favorite holidays. Why, you ask? Well I love the reason for the holiday (Christ's resurrection) but outside of that fact, I love the fact that it's like Christmas without all the pressure and money. You still get to buy some little goodies for those you love but you also don't have the pressure of a ton of cash. It's about fun and creativity. It's about the start of spring and flip flops and swim suits and bubbles and sidewalk chalk. It's truly one of my absolute favorite holidays! I have had traditions since my kids were little but some have changed and some were brand new this year. So here goes....
Easter Clothes I don't much get into the fancy schmancy Easter suits and stuff. With that being said, the girls always get sundresses and the boys always get at least a nice collared or polo shirt. I generally try to wear a dress and some heels. I enjoy the tradition of getting dressed up.
Easter Egg Hunt This has changed over the years. I've done everything from labeling the eggs with names to picking a certain color for each person and everything in between to ensure the exact amount of eggs being found by each child. At this point, they're all old enough to deal if they don't have the exact same amount. Now it's about the fun. I do usually label one egg in some way or another that they each get a dollar in. Aside from that, it's jelly beans, candy, fruit snacks, and so on and so forth. I don't do the cheesy toys because I don't need more crap laying around to clutter up the house. Hahahaha
Swimsuits and flip flops The kids ALWAYS get swimsuits and flip flops in their Easter basket. It's our tradition that says "spring is here!" Trying to find a swimsuit for my teenage daughter is a nightmare unless I want her to look like a hoochie mama. On the other hand, it's a balance of taking the remaining suits and deciding what looks too little kid-ish and what looks too grown up. The one or two left are the winners. Thank God flip flops are more simple. Thanks Old Navy!
Picnic Some people do Easter ham. I prefer to do a picnic. It was always a tradition in my family to have potato salad, pasta salad, deviled eggs, veggie tray, relish tray, and so on but we always had a ham. Instead, my tradition has been grilling out. Today was hamburgers and hot dogs along with salads and stuff. I made red potato salad that was to die for, Italian pasta salad, veggies and relish trays, deviled eggs, and even made Easter cookies. We had a picnic and it was wonderful.
Bubbles I will honestly be sad when my kids are way too old for bubbles. Bubbles and baseball are a tradition, as is sidewalk chalk. I'm kind of a sidewalk chalk artist, if I do say so myself.
Now here are some traditions I'd like to try in the future....
Easter Service at Red Rocks What could be more beautiful than an Easter service in such a beautiful place?
Sunglasses I've had this tradition in the past but haven't done it in years because they broke them all the time for years
A family picture I just really don't take a lot of pictures with me in them. I need to do that more.
Easter Baskets for the Less Fortunate The kids and I shipped off one box to a family less fortunate but I'd like to do more. I'd like to make sure that everyone experiences this amazing holiday.
So regardless of the fact that my Easter was less than awesome, I hope yours was amazing. Happy Easter, friends!
Easter Clothes I don't much get into the fancy schmancy Easter suits and stuff. With that being said, the girls always get sundresses and the boys always get at least a nice collared or polo shirt. I generally try to wear a dress and some heels. I enjoy the tradition of getting dressed up.
Easter Egg Hunt This has changed over the years. I've done everything from labeling the eggs with names to picking a certain color for each person and everything in between to ensure the exact amount of eggs being found by each child. At this point, they're all old enough to deal if they don't have the exact same amount. Now it's about the fun. I do usually label one egg in some way or another that they each get a dollar in. Aside from that, it's jelly beans, candy, fruit snacks, and so on and so forth. I don't do the cheesy toys because I don't need more crap laying around to clutter up the house. Hahahaha
Swimsuits and flip flops The kids ALWAYS get swimsuits and flip flops in their Easter basket. It's our tradition that says "spring is here!" Trying to find a swimsuit for my teenage daughter is a nightmare unless I want her to look like a hoochie mama. On the other hand, it's a balance of taking the remaining suits and deciding what looks too little kid-ish and what looks too grown up. The one or two left are the winners. Thank God flip flops are more simple. Thanks Old Navy!
Picnic Some people do Easter ham. I prefer to do a picnic. It was always a tradition in my family to have potato salad, pasta salad, deviled eggs, veggie tray, relish tray, and so on but we always had a ham. Instead, my tradition has been grilling out. Today was hamburgers and hot dogs along with salads and stuff. I made red potato salad that was to die for, Italian pasta salad, veggies and relish trays, deviled eggs, and even made Easter cookies. We had a picnic and it was wonderful.
Bubbles I will honestly be sad when my kids are way too old for bubbles. Bubbles and baseball are a tradition, as is sidewalk chalk. I'm kind of a sidewalk chalk artist, if I do say so myself.
Now here are some traditions I'd like to try in the future....
Easter Service at Red Rocks What could be more beautiful than an Easter service in such a beautiful place?
Sunglasses I've had this tradition in the past but haven't done it in years because they broke them all the time for years
A family picture I just really don't take a lot of pictures with me in them. I need to do that more.
Easter Baskets for the Less Fortunate The kids and I shipped off one box to a family less fortunate but I'd like to do more. I'd like to make sure that everyone experiences this amazing holiday.
So regardless of the fact that my Easter was less than awesome, I hope yours was amazing. Happy Easter, friends!
Why Relationships are a Recipe for Disaster
Fair warning: This is going to sound cynical. In fact, it's going to sound downright bitchy to some people but, then, I don't have a reputation for being a baker and I don't like to sugar coat things. So here goes......
I am a true romantic. I do believe in soul mates. I believe that there are people in this world that are meant for each other. I believe that there are perfect matches for people.....SOME people. I also believe that there are a lot of wrong matches. I believe that most people never find their match. I believe that most people are destined to muddle through it just dealing the best that they can...and here's why....
It is scientifically proven that people who are falling in love experience the same high drug addicts get from their drug of choice. The feeling wears off after the first year. During that first year, you can't keep your hands off each other, can't stand to be apart, and focus all of your attention on making each other happy. It's all about them and it makes you happy to make them happy. Here in lies the problem: It changes.
People will lie about anything to impress someone they like or love. They'll tell white lies, huge lies and completely omit the truth as well. It doesn't matter how you slice it, they will completely fool you into believing that they're amazing. The problem is that by the time you realize it, you're stuck between a rock and a hard spot. You've fallen in love. You've fallen so hard that you can't stand it. The liar has drawn you in and now you're stuck with being in love with someone who isn't really who they claim to be.
Now that you're stuck, you have a choice to make...so you stick it out. You keep sticking it out for whatever reason. You might have kids involved. You might have financial ties. You might have a strong belief that you just don't give up. There are a million reasons but what it comes down to is that you feel torn...stuck in a rut.
So you stay...and you get more miserable and less miserable at the same time. It becomes part of your identity. It's what you feel like you should be doing. In the meantime, you feel like you're going crazy. Maybe the person you're with guilts you into believing that everything is your fault. Maybe they manipulate you. Maybe it's the other way around. Who knows?
With all of that being said, it ends....and it usually ends badly. You end up being blamed for everything even when you've done nothing. In fact, that's usually how you can tell who caused the break up....they're the ones throwing OUT all the blame on others.
So what's the answer to it?
Maybe, just maybe the answer is much more simple than it seems. STOP PRETENDING. I stopped pretending long ago. I stopped being someone that I'm not long ago. I own the fact that I'm a geek. I love the fact that I'm a mom. I own my faults and my assets. The thing is, not many people are like that. Not many people want to fess up to the fact that they're not perfect....they want to give off a vibe of amazing perfection so that people will like them.
SET YOUR PRIORITIES AND BE HONEST ABOUT THEM. Look, not all people want to be in a long term relationship. If that's not what you want, be up front. Don't lead someone on. By the same token, don't pretend that you'll take an easy peasy approach to relationships if you have no desire to do so. Set your priorities in life and be up front.
KEEP WOOING YOUR LOVE If you DO get into a relationship, keep wooing them every single day. Stop taking them for granted. Stop treating them like a second thought.
If you're still reading, my apologies for being blunt. You had your warning. I'm not being cynical or angry, just honest. Maybe if I could find someone that agreed with me, I'd truly find my soul mate. Hahahaha
I am a true romantic. I do believe in soul mates. I believe that there are people in this world that are meant for each other. I believe that there are perfect matches for people.....SOME people. I also believe that there are a lot of wrong matches. I believe that most people never find their match. I believe that most people are destined to muddle through it just dealing the best that they can...and here's why....
It is scientifically proven that people who are falling in love experience the same high drug addicts get from their drug of choice. The feeling wears off after the first year. During that first year, you can't keep your hands off each other, can't stand to be apart, and focus all of your attention on making each other happy. It's all about them and it makes you happy to make them happy. Here in lies the problem: It changes.
People will lie about anything to impress someone they like or love. They'll tell white lies, huge lies and completely omit the truth as well. It doesn't matter how you slice it, they will completely fool you into believing that they're amazing. The problem is that by the time you realize it, you're stuck between a rock and a hard spot. You've fallen in love. You've fallen so hard that you can't stand it. The liar has drawn you in and now you're stuck with being in love with someone who isn't really who they claim to be.
Now that you're stuck, you have a choice to make...so you stick it out. You keep sticking it out for whatever reason. You might have kids involved. You might have financial ties. You might have a strong belief that you just don't give up. There are a million reasons but what it comes down to is that you feel torn...stuck in a rut.
So you stay...and you get more miserable and less miserable at the same time. It becomes part of your identity. It's what you feel like you should be doing. In the meantime, you feel like you're going crazy. Maybe the person you're with guilts you into believing that everything is your fault. Maybe they manipulate you. Maybe it's the other way around. Who knows?
With all of that being said, it ends....and it usually ends badly. You end up being blamed for everything even when you've done nothing. In fact, that's usually how you can tell who caused the break up....they're the ones throwing OUT all the blame on others.
So what's the answer to it?
Maybe, just maybe the answer is much more simple than it seems. STOP PRETENDING. I stopped pretending long ago. I stopped being someone that I'm not long ago. I own the fact that I'm a geek. I love the fact that I'm a mom. I own my faults and my assets. The thing is, not many people are like that. Not many people want to fess up to the fact that they're not perfect....they want to give off a vibe of amazing perfection so that people will like them.
SET YOUR PRIORITIES AND BE HONEST ABOUT THEM. Look, not all people want to be in a long term relationship. If that's not what you want, be up front. Don't lead someone on. By the same token, don't pretend that you'll take an easy peasy approach to relationships if you have no desire to do so. Set your priorities in life and be up front.
KEEP WOOING YOUR LOVE If you DO get into a relationship, keep wooing them every single day. Stop taking them for granted. Stop treating them like a second thought.
If you're still reading, my apologies for being blunt. You had your warning. I'm not being cynical or angry, just honest. Maybe if I could find someone that agreed with me, I'd truly find my soul mate. Hahahaha
Friday, April 18, 2014
Fun Fact Friday
It's Fun Fact Friday so here goes....
1. I have not-so-secret girl crushes on three women: Mila Kunis, Liv Tyler and Amy Schumer. I think all women have girl crushes but they're afraid to admit it. I'm quite vocal about it. Close close close runner up is Sheri Moon.
2. One of my favorite movies is "House of 1000 Corpses." If you haven't seen it, watch it! Amazing movie.
3. My two favorite comedians right now are Ralphie May and Gabriel Iglesias. Ralphie May is one I've had the pleasure of seeing live at the Comedy Works and he puts on an incredible show. I'd love to see Gabriel Iglesias live too.
4. I hate peppermint candies. I will eat them if I have to (my blood sugar drops and there's nothing else around) but I loathe peppermint candies (including candy canes).
5. My hair is naturally VERY curly...and I don't straighten it often. I will occasionally straighten my hair just for the sake of having some fun. With that being said, I own my crazy curly hair. It's big and wild and I love it.
6. I will eat bacon on or in things but I won't just eat a strip of bacon...I think it's nasty. I love bacon on cheeseburgers...ask me to eat a strip of it and I'll gag.
7. On the other hand, I know the Mellow Mushroom menu backward and forward. It is the most delicious pizza on the planet and I love it House Calzone is one of my favorites but there isn't anything on the menu I don't enjoy.
8. I love long hot showers. In fact, I usually use all the hot water when I shower. I'm awful about it. I am not quite as big on baths because I feel like I'm stewing in my own filth. With that being said, a nice hot bath is great once in awhile to soothe what ails you.
9. I'm obsessed with knee socks. I wear them with my shorty gym shorts around the house because it's incredibly comfortable. I find them in crazy patterns. In fact, there is a website that has knee socks that say things like "punk" and "rock star". I love this site.
10. I think that yoga hip openers are one of the most relaxing regimens on the planet. I love yoga anyway but I spend a good fifteen to twenty minutes just on hip openers. It's great for flexibility but it's also incredibly relaxing on the body. Plus who the hell DOESN'T wish they could still put their legs behind their head at 33 years old. THAT is what my hip openers allow me. LOL
1. I have not-so-secret girl crushes on three women: Mila Kunis, Liv Tyler and Amy Schumer. I think all women have girl crushes but they're afraid to admit it. I'm quite vocal about it. Close close close runner up is Sheri Moon.
2. One of my favorite movies is "House of 1000 Corpses." If you haven't seen it, watch it! Amazing movie.
3. My two favorite comedians right now are Ralphie May and Gabriel Iglesias. Ralphie May is one I've had the pleasure of seeing live at the Comedy Works and he puts on an incredible show. I'd love to see Gabriel Iglesias live too.
4. I hate peppermint candies. I will eat them if I have to (my blood sugar drops and there's nothing else around) but I loathe peppermint candies (including candy canes).
5. My hair is naturally VERY curly...and I don't straighten it often. I will occasionally straighten my hair just for the sake of having some fun. With that being said, I own my crazy curly hair. It's big and wild and I love it.
6. I will eat bacon on or in things but I won't just eat a strip of bacon...I think it's nasty. I love bacon on cheeseburgers...ask me to eat a strip of it and I'll gag.
7. On the other hand, I know the Mellow Mushroom menu backward and forward. It is the most delicious pizza on the planet and I love it House Calzone is one of my favorites but there isn't anything on the menu I don't enjoy.
8. I love long hot showers. In fact, I usually use all the hot water when I shower. I'm awful about it. I am not quite as big on baths because I feel like I'm stewing in my own filth. With that being said, a nice hot bath is great once in awhile to soothe what ails you.
9. I'm obsessed with knee socks. I wear them with my shorty gym shorts around the house because it's incredibly comfortable. I find them in crazy patterns. In fact, there is a website that has knee socks that say things like "punk" and "rock star". I love this site.
10. I think that yoga hip openers are one of the most relaxing regimens on the planet. I love yoga anyway but I spend a good fifteen to twenty minutes just on hip openers. It's great for flexibility but it's also incredibly relaxing on the body. Plus who the hell DOESN'T wish they could still put their legs behind their head at 33 years old. THAT is what my hip openers allow me. LOL
The NHL Playoffs so Far
With the race for the Stanley Cup started, I am in full sports nerd gear and have been boring people out of their minds with the stats and my theories on who's going to win each series. In the NHL playoffs, it is NOT just about who the best team is; it's about who wants it more, who can rally, and who can play at a playoff level the whole game (and overtime). Teams that have played amazing the whole season can fall in the first round to teams that "suck" all because they get over-confident. The Avs actually have the best slogan right now..."Why Not Us?" So true.
With all of that said, let's recap the playoffs thus far.....
The Ducks beat the Stars which is not a huge shocker. The biggest shocker to most people is that it was even as close as it was. Ah, but you forget...it's the playoffs. Anything can happen. Andersen looks to be in the goal again for Anaheim which, considering he made 32 saves, is not a terrible choice in the least. Getzlaf is still gonna play despite a big ass gouge in his face from being hit by Sequin's slap shot. Damn right he's gonna play...this is HOCKEY! I look for Anaheim to win Game 2 as well but that remains to be seen.
The Sharks beat the Kings which is a shocker for some...though not for me. They matched the Kings brutality blow for blow and just plain outplayed them, in my opinion.
The Rangers whooped some Flyer ass. I couldn't believe the amount of people that said, "Wow...the Rangers came out of nowhere." No, the Rangers have been lingering in the wings waiting for a chance to show what they can really do. We'll call them the "sleeper" of the playoffs.
The Penguins beat the Blue Jackets...no big shocker there.
The Blues beat the Blackhawks....HUGE shocker to some. It's not as shocking to me since the Blues want it bad. In the end, the Hawks will likely win the series. With that being said, triple overtime is pretty damn awesome for the Blues and I say, "Go Blues." On the other hand, the Blackhawks win it in my bracket so.....
and finally...
The Avs beat the Wild in an overtime win. Sitting at Mellow Mushroom last night watching the game, I was amazed at the number of people that wrote them off when they were down 4-2. I said the same thing I say now: Have some faith in your team. For crying out loud, the Avs have been a force to be reckoned with this season. I look for the Avs to advance, though I do think it's gonna be a hard fought battle.
With all of that said, let's recap the playoffs thus far.....
The Ducks beat the Stars which is not a huge shocker. The biggest shocker to most people is that it was even as close as it was. Ah, but you forget...it's the playoffs. Anything can happen. Andersen looks to be in the goal again for Anaheim which, considering he made 32 saves, is not a terrible choice in the least. Getzlaf is still gonna play despite a big ass gouge in his face from being hit by Sequin's slap shot. Damn right he's gonna play...this is HOCKEY! I look for Anaheim to win Game 2 as well but that remains to be seen.
The Sharks beat the Kings which is a shocker for some...though not for me. They matched the Kings brutality blow for blow and just plain outplayed them, in my opinion.
The Rangers whooped some Flyer ass. I couldn't believe the amount of people that said, "Wow...the Rangers came out of nowhere." No, the Rangers have been lingering in the wings waiting for a chance to show what they can really do. We'll call them the "sleeper" of the playoffs.
The Penguins beat the Blue Jackets...no big shocker there.
The Blues beat the Blackhawks....HUGE shocker to some. It's not as shocking to me since the Blues want it bad. In the end, the Hawks will likely win the series. With that being said, triple overtime is pretty damn awesome for the Blues and I say, "Go Blues." On the other hand, the Blackhawks win it in my bracket so.....
and finally...
The Avs beat the Wild in an overtime win. Sitting at Mellow Mushroom last night watching the game, I was amazed at the number of people that wrote them off when they were down 4-2. I said the same thing I say now: Have some faith in your team. For crying out loud, the Avs have been a force to be reckoned with this season. I look for the Avs to advance, though I do think it's gonna be a hard fought battle.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
7 People You Need In Your Lifetime
1. A Best Friend. It doesn't matter if they're family or completely unrelated. You need someone to tell your secrets to and who understand you completely. It gives you joy.
2. An Enemy. You need someone to make you humble and to challenge you to be a better person. It makes you appreciate those you love more.
3. A Mentor. It could be a parent or grandparent. It could be a random person. You need someone to look up to. It gives you hope.
4. A Great Love. Might be God or Buddha or Allah. It might be your child or your parent. It might be a lover. Great love gives you a bigger heart.
5. Someone to Help. Giving of your time or resources to others gives you compassion and empathy.
6. Someone Completely Different. Your opposite will challenge you to think more than anyone about everything you believe. Knowledge is power, my Friend. It will give you great knowledge and the ability to compromise.
And...
7. The True You. Knowing who you are, being comfortable in your own skin and loving yourself is the most important person you'll need. It will give you peace and love within
2. An Enemy. You need someone to make you humble and to challenge you to be a better person. It makes you appreciate those you love more.
3. A Mentor. It could be a parent or grandparent. It could be a random person. You need someone to look up to. It gives you hope.
4. A Great Love. Might be God or Buddha or Allah. It might be your child or your parent. It might be a lover. Great love gives you a bigger heart.
5. Someone to Help. Giving of your time or resources to others gives you compassion and empathy.
6. Someone Completely Different. Your opposite will challenge you to think more than anyone about everything you believe. Knowledge is power, my Friend. It will give you great knowledge and the ability to compromise.
And...
7. The True You. Knowing who you are, being comfortable in your own skin and loving yourself is the most important person you'll need. It will give you peace and love within
12 Things Adults Should Stop Doing
1. Stop assuming that your parents had it all wrong. That's not to say that parents had it all right. That's not to say that bad choices weren't made. With that being said, adults often spend way too much time wishing they'd have listened to their parents' advice.
2. Stop telling people how they should feel. Feelings are feelings..period. You can't tell someone how to feel any more than you can tell the wind which way to blow. It's tragic to lose your parent but that doesn't mean that your friend should never be able to feel angry at their mom. It's hard to go through divorce and bitter feelings exist but that doesn't mean your friend shouldn't be angry without seeing a lawyer.
3. Stop making excuses. Don't tell me about why you can't go play catch with your kid. Go do it. Don't tell me why you can't visit your family more. Make time. Excuses make very effective regrets later on.
4. Stop bullying. Ladies, this means YOU. There is a thick line between not liking someone and having a mean girl complex. You not liking someone means you vent to a friend and ignore them. You being a bully means you rally the troops to hate who you dislike, make things up, and act with a pack mentality.
5. Stop treating your mate like they're disposable. Your mate probably loves you more than anyone. Don't take it for granted. If the grass is greener on the other side, chances are it's bullshit fertilizing it.
6. Stop worrying about your body. If you're unhealthy, fix it. With that being said, stop worrying if you look like a Kardashian or not. Celebrity magazine covers are airbrushed and photo shopped. Its not any more real than a fairy tale is.
7. Stop trying to make everyone think like you. Variety is the spice of life. Religions, cultures, background, and circumstance make people think and feel differently. It's fine to debate but don't get offended if people don't think like you. It doesn't make them dumb to be different.
8. Stop calling people stupid. There are a great many people who don't exercise common sense. They're not stupid. Stupidity is lack of education. Most people are educated. Their thinking is a choice.
9. Stop treating people like they're below you. Where people get off with the arrogant holier than thou attitude is beyond me. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. Someone has to haul trash, flip burgers, push grocery carts, and clean bathrooms. Disagree? Think how you feel in a public place when those things AREN'T done.
10. Stop acting like you should start at the top instead of working your way up. It is a rare 20 year old that owns a house without help from their family or inheritance. 22 year old CEOs are a rarity too. Don't expect to start at the top. Humility is a great trait in a leader and it's earned, not given.
11. Stop listening to doctors and studies. I should clarify: Stop listening ONLY to doctors and studies. Read all approaches, try things out and figure out what works best for you. Everyone is different inside and out.
And finally....
12. Stop living like a teenager. Being an adult is hard and tireless most of the time but it's time to be a grown up. Stop acting like a kid and realize life is about learning and growing. Own your 30s or 40s or whatever age you are. Show the upcoming generation how to rock this stuff.
It's Not Fair Sometimes
We live in a world where everything is designed to attempt to be "fair." It's not "fair" if someone gets paid more than you. It's not "fair" if someone gets to have great seats at a game and you're stuck in the cheap seats. It's not "fair" that the kid down the street got more eggs in the Easter Egg Hunt than your kid. It's not "fair" that she can afford botox while you're aging not-so-gracefully trying to pay for your kids' summer camp. Everything is fair and everyone feels entitled to it being fair.
One of the major areas I see real unfairness is in families. The sad thing is that no one seems to really focus on how unfair these things are unless it's drastic. No one focuses on how unfair a child's situation is with their parents unless they're hospitalized for abuse. No one focuses on how unfair a parent's situation is with their parents unless they're admitted into rehab. Everyone judges but no one focuses on fairness here. It comes in all shapes and sizes but, let's face it, sometimes family isn't fair. Here are a few examples....
The parent who just can't hack it. I don't mean this in a mean or judgmental way but some parents just can't hack it. Sadly, I'm not referring to parents that give their children up for adoption; this is a responsible choice when you know you can't handle parenting in one way or another and it's what's best for the child. I'm referring to parents that continue to drag their children through life, hating parenthood. I'm referring to the parents that talk about their kids like they're a burden constantly and who talk about how much better their life was before kids. I'm referring to the parents who don't even try to make their kids lives better because they're too focused on designer clothes and shoes. I'm talking about parents that are addicted to substances and neglecting their kids. I'm talking about thousands of parents that just don't care. These kids are the ones that live an unfair life.
The parents who are more concerned with jobs than kids. I do NOT just mean working parents here. Working parents are a reality. There is a vast difference between a working parent and a parent more concerned with job than kids. Most working parents are just trying to get by...they come home and their kids are their entire focus. I don't care if they work after bedtime...they focus on their kids when they're awake. These parents aren't the ones I'm referring to. I'm referring to the ones that come home and yell at their kids for being in the way, who never make it to events because they're doing their own thing. I'm talking about the parents that can't put down their phone long enough to watch the spring concert at school. These kids live an unfair life.
The parents that clearly favor a child. All the way up into adulthood, this isn't fair. When a parent or both parents clearly favor a specific child, it's an all around crappy situation. Maybe the parent lets the other child get away with murder or maybe they support them no matter what while shunning the other one. More and more adult families are dealing with strife caused by favoring a child. Parents seem to forget their role. The kids that get pushed aside live an unfair life.
The parents who leave. Let's be blunt...it happens. Parents leave. This is an unfair life.
There are a million other cases but the next time you talk about how unfair something is, think about how unfair life can be for people that don't get a choice. Think about how unfair these kids' lives are or a million other situations where they can't help what's happening to them. It might put things into perspective a bit better.
One of the major areas I see real unfairness is in families. The sad thing is that no one seems to really focus on how unfair these things are unless it's drastic. No one focuses on how unfair a child's situation is with their parents unless they're hospitalized for abuse. No one focuses on how unfair a parent's situation is with their parents unless they're admitted into rehab. Everyone judges but no one focuses on fairness here. It comes in all shapes and sizes but, let's face it, sometimes family isn't fair. Here are a few examples....
The parent who just can't hack it. I don't mean this in a mean or judgmental way but some parents just can't hack it. Sadly, I'm not referring to parents that give their children up for adoption; this is a responsible choice when you know you can't handle parenting in one way or another and it's what's best for the child. I'm referring to parents that continue to drag their children through life, hating parenthood. I'm referring to the parents that talk about their kids like they're a burden constantly and who talk about how much better their life was before kids. I'm referring to the parents who don't even try to make their kids lives better because they're too focused on designer clothes and shoes. I'm talking about parents that are addicted to substances and neglecting their kids. I'm talking about thousands of parents that just don't care. These kids are the ones that live an unfair life.
The parents who are more concerned with jobs than kids. I do NOT just mean working parents here. Working parents are a reality. There is a vast difference between a working parent and a parent more concerned with job than kids. Most working parents are just trying to get by...they come home and their kids are their entire focus. I don't care if they work after bedtime...they focus on their kids when they're awake. These parents aren't the ones I'm referring to. I'm referring to the ones that come home and yell at their kids for being in the way, who never make it to events because they're doing their own thing. I'm talking about the parents that can't put down their phone long enough to watch the spring concert at school. These kids live an unfair life.
The parents that clearly favor a child. All the way up into adulthood, this isn't fair. When a parent or both parents clearly favor a specific child, it's an all around crappy situation. Maybe the parent lets the other child get away with murder or maybe they support them no matter what while shunning the other one. More and more adult families are dealing with strife caused by favoring a child. Parents seem to forget their role. The kids that get pushed aside live an unfair life.
The parents who leave. Let's be blunt...it happens. Parents leave. This is an unfair life.
There are a million other cases but the next time you talk about how unfair something is, think about how unfair life can be for people that don't get a choice. Think about how unfair these kids' lives are or a million other situations where they can't help what's happening to them. It might put things into perspective a bit better.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Wishing Wednesday....Thoughts for the Day
While I try very hard just to be thankful for what I have, there is no harm in wishing for something amazing to happen so, with all of that said, here are my wishes, big and small.....
I WISH TO BE A SOCCER MOM AGAIN. I LOVE my job. I can't say that often enough. With that being said, I still wish I could be at home with my crazies again. When I think about the amount of time I could contribute to volunteering at their school, being there for them (and their friends) every day after school, and fixing their snacks and goodies for parties and extra curriculars, it makes me a little sad. Now here's the catch...this wish entails a second part: financial stability. I don't wish to be a stay at home mom that wonders how she's going to buy the ramen and hot dogs I have to feed my kids every night. I want to be a stay at home mom that budgets but has the money and savings of a working mom. Hey, it's a wish...I'm allowed to dream big.
I WISH TO WORK ON SOME OF THESE DAMN PINTEREST PROJECTS I KEEP PINNING Admittedly, I pin way more than I actually do. I have boards upon boards upon boards on Pinterest. Yes, some of it is beneficial to my freelance. Yes, some of it is recipes that I use or try. A lot of it is projects that I want to do but don't have the money or time. Example? Loft beds for the kid...holiday decorations...refinishing thrift store furniture....
I WISH TO COOK MORE NATURALLY Those that know me well know that I am a HUGE fan of Sprouts. I love the Farmer's Market atmosphere and I love feeding my family healthy foods on a budget. I prefer to make things from scratch when I have the time and resources. I hate boxed and processed food but sometimes they are a necessity. I wish for the money and time to cook more naturally for myself and my family.
I WISH FOR A BIG GARDEN WITH LOTS OF GOODIES I am a gardening fiend. There is nothing like weeding and feeding a garden full of food and flowers. I am particularly inclined to want a lot of tomatoes (roma...mmmmmm) of all different varieties, bell peppers, jalapenos, cucumbers, zucchini, melons, and anything else I can stack in along with an herb garden. I also want flowers...tulips (my favorite), irises, and just about anything else.
I WISH FOR A NICE BIG YARD I love and appreciate the house that I rent but I'd love to have a nice big yard and a house of my own. It doesn't have to be a huge house...just a house with some space to put a porch swing...a fire pit....somewhere to sit outside and enjoy. Only catch? I'd like to have a space that gets a lot of sun to lay out and sun tan (and read)
I WISH FOR A CHANCE TO GO DO MORE FUN THINGS, ESPECIALLY SPORTING EVENTS I wish for the money and time to go do more fun things. I have a whole list of fun runs I want to do. I want to take the kids to the zoo...and Disney World (Orlando not California's). I want to go camping. I want to go to some pro sports games. I want a whole list of fun things but wishes are not the money to pay for them. Some of it is simply festivals and other goofy stuff that isn't costly but is time consuming. Some is more expensive.
I WISH FOR A 4WD VEHICLE THAT FITS MY WHOLE FAMILY Yes I love my AWD car and appreciate it every time I make a payment. (haha) With that being said, I'd love to have a nice big 4WD vehicle to take camping or do other such stuff with...mountain treks and such.
I WISH TO HAVE MORE SO I COULD GIVE MORE This sounds cheesy but it's absolutely true. I wish that I had more money, time, etc so that I could give more. I wish to volunteer more, help others more, and so on and so forth.
Well now that all of that is out of my system, I can go start my real day. Make a great day, friends :)
I WISH TO BE A SOCCER MOM AGAIN. I LOVE my job. I can't say that often enough. With that being said, I still wish I could be at home with my crazies again. When I think about the amount of time I could contribute to volunteering at their school, being there for them (and their friends) every day after school, and fixing their snacks and goodies for parties and extra curriculars, it makes me a little sad. Now here's the catch...this wish entails a second part: financial stability. I don't wish to be a stay at home mom that wonders how she's going to buy the ramen and hot dogs I have to feed my kids every night. I want to be a stay at home mom that budgets but has the money and savings of a working mom. Hey, it's a wish...I'm allowed to dream big.
I WISH TO WORK ON SOME OF THESE DAMN PINTEREST PROJECTS I KEEP PINNING Admittedly, I pin way more than I actually do. I have boards upon boards upon boards on Pinterest. Yes, some of it is beneficial to my freelance. Yes, some of it is recipes that I use or try. A lot of it is projects that I want to do but don't have the money or time. Example? Loft beds for the kid...holiday decorations...refinishing thrift store furniture....
I WISH TO COOK MORE NATURALLY Those that know me well know that I am a HUGE fan of Sprouts. I love the Farmer's Market atmosphere and I love feeding my family healthy foods on a budget. I prefer to make things from scratch when I have the time and resources. I hate boxed and processed food but sometimes they are a necessity. I wish for the money and time to cook more naturally for myself and my family.
I WISH FOR A BIG GARDEN WITH LOTS OF GOODIES I am a gardening fiend. There is nothing like weeding and feeding a garden full of food and flowers. I am particularly inclined to want a lot of tomatoes (roma...mmmmmm) of all different varieties, bell peppers, jalapenos, cucumbers, zucchini, melons, and anything else I can stack in along with an herb garden. I also want flowers...tulips (my favorite), irises, and just about anything else.
I WISH FOR A NICE BIG YARD I love and appreciate the house that I rent but I'd love to have a nice big yard and a house of my own. It doesn't have to be a huge house...just a house with some space to put a porch swing...a fire pit....somewhere to sit outside and enjoy. Only catch? I'd like to have a space that gets a lot of sun to lay out and sun tan (and read)
I WISH FOR A CHANCE TO GO DO MORE FUN THINGS, ESPECIALLY SPORTING EVENTS I wish for the money and time to go do more fun things. I have a whole list of fun runs I want to do. I want to take the kids to the zoo...and Disney World (Orlando not California's). I want to go camping. I want to go to some pro sports games. I want a whole list of fun things but wishes are not the money to pay for them. Some of it is simply festivals and other goofy stuff that isn't costly but is time consuming. Some is more expensive.
I WISH FOR A 4WD VEHICLE THAT FITS MY WHOLE FAMILY Yes I love my AWD car and appreciate it every time I make a payment. (haha) With that being said, I'd love to have a nice big 4WD vehicle to take camping or do other such stuff with...mountain treks and such.
I WISH TO HAVE MORE SO I COULD GIVE MORE This sounds cheesy but it's absolutely true. I wish that I had more money, time, etc so that I could give more. I wish to volunteer more, help others more, and so on and so forth.
Well now that all of that is out of my system, I can go start my real day. Make a great day, friends :)
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Fun...Never Have I Ever
As I sit here in only my towel in my bathroom coloring my hair, I'm pondering how frustrated my posts have been the past few days so I want to do something light hearted to have some fun. Choice for tonight? A solo game of "Never have I ever...."
NEVER HAVE I EVER......
DYED MY HAIR A CRAZY COLOR. Not once. I have no desire to dye it crazy but I'd like to try chalk sometime for fun. I prefer my craziness on my get in the form of sparkly or crazy heels.
SMOKED WEED. Not once. Don't entirely have the desire. I can have a drink to unwind if it's that bad. With that being said, I'm supportive of people that choose to and find it pleasing.
BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY. I was invited to Europe as a teen for dance but couldn't afford it.
HAD MY EYEBROWS WAXED. I'll each damn near anything else but my eyebrows are thin enough not to be too concerned.
HAD A BIG PARTY FOR MY BIRTHDAY AS AN ADULT. I have mixed feelings about the attention and keep my social circle somewhat scattered.
BUT I HAVE....
Skinny dipped (who hasn't)
Cow tipped (not alot to do in the sticks)
Streaked (again who hasn't)
Pole danced (insane workout)
Been to a VIP party (photographed one for an NFL player last year)
Been to Spring Break in Florida (fun)
Waxed my bikini line (regularly actually..lol)
Stayed up all night to watch the sun rise
Modeled (briefly in my late teens)
Been in a pageant (ugh don't ask)
And...
Yeah sorry for the lead up. That's about all the craziness I care to share. There are far more crazy than me with better stories. Maybe next time I should play truth or dare instead.
NEVER HAVE I EVER......
DYED MY HAIR A CRAZY COLOR. Not once. I have no desire to dye it crazy but I'd like to try chalk sometime for fun. I prefer my craziness on my get in the form of sparkly or crazy heels.
SMOKED WEED. Not once. Don't entirely have the desire. I can have a drink to unwind if it's that bad. With that being said, I'm supportive of people that choose to and find it pleasing.
BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY. I was invited to Europe as a teen for dance but couldn't afford it.
HAD MY EYEBROWS WAXED. I'll each damn near anything else but my eyebrows are thin enough not to be too concerned.
HAD A BIG PARTY FOR MY BIRTHDAY AS AN ADULT. I have mixed feelings about the attention and keep my social circle somewhat scattered.
BUT I HAVE....
Skinny dipped (who hasn't)
Cow tipped (not alot to do in the sticks)
Streaked (again who hasn't)
Pole danced (insane workout)
Been to a VIP party (photographed one for an NFL player last year)
Been to Spring Break in Florida (fun)
Waxed my bikini line (regularly actually..lol)
Stayed up all night to watch the sun rise
Modeled (briefly in my late teens)
Been in a pageant (ugh don't ask)
And...
Yeah sorry for the lead up. That's about all the craziness I care to share. There are far more crazy than me with better stories. Maybe next time I should play truth or dare instead.
Sales People...The Sharks of the Consumer World
I'm sure there are exceptions to this but I have this grating irritation with car salesmen. Actually, I have a grating irritation with salesmen in general but, in particular, an irritation with car salesman. Perhaps it's the fact that the tend to treat you like you're an idiot. Perhaps it's the fact that they're trying to rush you into a decision that will likely last you at least five years. Having been in sales, I've been to the puppet show and I've seen the strings. Here are some observations, suggestions, and random rants on sales people (again, a generalization because there are nice ones)....
Do NOT buy on the spot if you can help it. This is something that sales people are inclined to push you to do for a number of reasons. If you don't have time to think about it, you can't rationalize it. They're playing on your emotions and on your inability to rationalize. If it makes you feel better, tell them up front that you aren't planning on buying that day. Give yourself time to think over the decision.
Do NOT buy into their guilt trips. They will give you a million lines about how hard they're "working for you." The fact is that they ARE working for you but that they are also working for their commission and their job is to get you out the door spending as much money as possible for as much profit as possible. In short, they are not out to protect your interests. They are out to make money. You can't blame them for doing their job but you can turn off your emotion and not let them give you a guilt trip. Don't let them tell you what's safer for your family, money savings, or how they've been doing this all day and they're so tired.
Don't let them pressure you with signing things You are under no obligation whatsoever to sign anything, particularly at a dealership. They will pressure you like crazy to sign on the spot because that is their job....profit, profit, profit. With that being said, your job is to protect your interests.
The "assumed sale" If you aren't familiar, this is a method of speaking to a customer as if you've already sold them the product. It is a very common sales method and one that is frequently used on customers that seem naieve enough to buy it. If a sales person starts talking to you like you've already bought the car (or whatever you're buying), feel free to walk away.
Chum in the water. Go to a dealership and watch the sales people rush to you like chum in shark water. They will cut off each other's arms and step on each other to get the sale. Again, you can't blame them on a personal level..it's their job. With that being said, you are NOT chum...you are important and your budget is important too.
Rationalization of the bad stuff This is my favorite...well it's my pet peeve. I loathe when sales people attempt to rationalize the bad points. I am fine with pointing out the positives to outweigh the negatives but don't rationalize the bad stuff when you sell me something. I'm not a moron.
DON'T let them play on your inexperience...research Do NOT feel bad about telling them that you need a minute, or a day....or a week to make a decision. Do your research before and during the process, especially when buying a car. This is a matter of apples and oranges. If you go in looking for an apple and they sell you an orange, it may still be fruit but it's not what you wanted and you WILL regret it.
Call them out on THEIR bull crap I am not huge on sales people pretending to know what they're talking about and talking down to me. Call them out on their crap when they attempt to tell you what you "don't know."
I close simply by saying that the reason that I freelance instead of working at a studio is a combination of all of these above. I can't stand the "buy on the spot" crap or hiding the prices on things. I hate hiking up prices because I need money. While I respect that people have a job to do, I expect the same respect on the fact that I have got a budget. Pushy crap does NOT sell anything to me. I'm a hard sale...but worth it in the end.
Do NOT buy on the spot if you can help it. This is something that sales people are inclined to push you to do for a number of reasons. If you don't have time to think about it, you can't rationalize it. They're playing on your emotions and on your inability to rationalize. If it makes you feel better, tell them up front that you aren't planning on buying that day. Give yourself time to think over the decision.
Do NOT buy into their guilt trips. They will give you a million lines about how hard they're "working for you." The fact is that they ARE working for you but that they are also working for their commission and their job is to get you out the door spending as much money as possible for as much profit as possible. In short, they are not out to protect your interests. They are out to make money. You can't blame them for doing their job but you can turn off your emotion and not let them give you a guilt trip. Don't let them tell you what's safer for your family, money savings, or how they've been doing this all day and they're so tired.
Don't let them pressure you with signing things You are under no obligation whatsoever to sign anything, particularly at a dealership. They will pressure you like crazy to sign on the spot because that is their job....profit, profit, profit. With that being said, your job is to protect your interests.
The "assumed sale" If you aren't familiar, this is a method of speaking to a customer as if you've already sold them the product. It is a very common sales method and one that is frequently used on customers that seem naieve enough to buy it. If a sales person starts talking to you like you've already bought the car (or whatever you're buying), feel free to walk away.
Chum in the water. Go to a dealership and watch the sales people rush to you like chum in shark water. They will cut off each other's arms and step on each other to get the sale. Again, you can't blame them on a personal level..it's their job. With that being said, you are NOT chum...you are important and your budget is important too.
Rationalization of the bad stuff This is my favorite...well it's my pet peeve. I loathe when sales people attempt to rationalize the bad points. I am fine with pointing out the positives to outweigh the negatives but don't rationalize the bad stuff when you sell me something. I'm not a moron.
DON'T let them play on your inexperience...research Do NOT feel bad about telling them that you need a minute, or a day....or a week to make a decision. Do your research before and during the process, especially when buying a car. This is a matter of apples and oranges. If you go in looking for an apple and they sell you an orange, it may still be fruit but it's not what you wanted and you WILL regret it.
Call them out on THEIR bull crap I am not huge on sales people pretending to know what they're talking about and talking down to me. Call them out on their crap when they attempt to tell you what you "don't know."
I close simply by saying that the reason that I freelance instead of working at a studio is a combination of all of these above. I can't stand the "buy on the spot" crap or hiding the prices on things. I hate hiking up prices because I need money. While I respect that people have a job to do, I expect the same respect on the fact that I have got a budget. Pushy crap does NOT sell anything to me. I'm a hard sale...but worth it in the end.
Monday, April 14, 2014
15 Reasons Colorado is Awesome
Snow....mid April. Yes sir. We took out the swimsuits on Friday afternoon and Sunday morning, we were drinking coffee (well, cocoa for the kids) and watching it snow all over the freshly fertilized grass. Guess I jumped the gun planting my seedlings....sigh So, in the interests of keeping my spirits up instead of moping over my dead tomatoes, zucchini, and peppers, here are 15 reasons why Colorado is awesome....
1. Sun...sun....sun When I came out here to visit for the first time, one of the biggest and best things I loved about this state is how much sun there is and how wonderfully warm it is here comparatively. It can be 40 degrees and feel like 70 because of the sun. It can be an ouchie if you forget the sunscreen and...oh...say....climb a 14er but, in general, the sun is amazing here and one of the greatest things that I love about this state.
2. People are incredibly nice Though I am a transplant myself, I will definitely say that you can tell natives from transplants. MOST natives (and there are some that are not quite as nice, but) are incredibly nice. I joke with family and friends that visit that it must be the altitude....they tell me that it must be the pot.
3. Legal marijuana. Funny for me being that I am NOT even close to a pot smoker. I guess the reason this is great is because it shows that our state cares about what the residents want. I don't have a problem with pot smokers...in general, they're quite mellow people and there are more of them than people know. Though it is not my choice to smoke it personally, I like the fact that people have the freedom to choose here.
4. 16th Street Mall. I'm a sucker for this place. I will walk for hours and window shop. I've been here for years and I still love going into the tourist stores and looking at all of the goofy souvenir stuff. I'm a sucker for Mellow Mushroom (since it's my favorite) and I love the pianos out in the middle of nowhere, the wide variety of people that you run into, and the atmosphere.
5. Incredible scenery. This kind of goes for all parks. In my area, I can drive nearly anywhere and see the mountains all of the time. I never get over the beauty of this state. Everything is more beautiful here than back home.
6. Rocky Mountain National Park. If you can visit and NOT fall in love with this beautiful place, you have no soul. (Totally joking...it's not for everyone, I guess). I'd rather hike out here than visit the beach any day of the week.
7. The Broncos. Nuff said.
8. Red Rocks. I have never been to a concert at the amphitheater but I intend to do it at some point. The park itself is gorgeous but a concert there would be insanity.
9. Hockey is HUGE Hockey is huge here and there is a pocket of Redwings fans, though there are a lot more people who loathe the Redwings.
10. Everyone is outdoorsy Okay that might be an exaggeration. Not EVERY person is outdoorsy but they are plentiful here. There are so many places to hike and hang out outdoors. I love it!
11. Royal Gorge Rafting. If I could go through the same company and have the same guide (Miles), I'd do it in a second. It was an incredible time and so fun! I can't wait to go again.
12. Denver Zoo I am a huge fan of the zoo, even as an adult. Denver's zoo is awesome and I could probably go there daily if I had the time.
13. Wash Park I might be a bit biased because I'm here so often but I love the park. Yes, the teenagers can get rowdy after school hours but, for the most part, it's gorgeous and there's so much open space to relax in.
14. Skiing Again, haven't done it but can't wait to try it.
15. Greatest state in our country Okay this is a generalization but overall, I think it's the best. Perfect climate (for the most part), great people, beautiful scenery and even more!!!
1. Sun...sun....sun When I came out here to visit for the first time, one of the biggest and best things I loved about this state is how much sun there is and how wonderfully warm it is here comparatively. It can be 40 degrees and feel like 70 because of the sun. It can be an ouchie if you forget the sunscreen and...oh...say....climb a 14er but, in general, the sun is amazing here and one of the greatest things that I love about this state.
2. People are incredibly nice Though I am a transplant myself, I will definitely say that you can tell natives from transplants. MOST natives (and there are some that are not quite as nice, but) are incredibly nice. I joke with family and friends that visit that it must be the altitude....they tell me that it must be the pot.
3. Legal marijuana. Funny for me being that I am NOT even close to a pot smoker. I guess the reason this is great is because it shows that our state cares about what the residents want. I don't have a problem with pot smokers...in general, they're quite mellow people and there are more of them than people know. Though it is not my choice to smoke it personally, I like the fact that people have the freedom to choose here.
4. 16th Street Mall. I'm a sucker for this place. I will walk for hours and window shop. I've been here for years and I still love going into the tourist stores and looking at all of the goofy souvenir stuff. I'm a sucker for Mellow Mushroom (since it's my favorite) and I love the pianos out in the middle of nowhere, the wide variety of people that you run into, and the atmosphere.
5. Incredible scenery. This kind of goes for all parks. In my area, I can drive nearly anywhere and see the mountains all of the time. I never get over the beauty of this state. Everything is more beautiful here than back home.
6. Rocky Mountain National Park. If you can visit and NOT fall in love with this beautiful place, you have no soul. (Totally joking...it's not for everyone, I guess). I'd rather hike out here than visit the beach any day of the week.
7. The Broncos. Nuff said.
8. Red Rocks. I have never been to a concert at the amphitheater but I intend to do it at some point. The park itself is gorgeous but a concert there would be insanity.
9. Hockey is HUGE Hockey is huge here and there is a pocket of Redwings fans, though there are a lot more people who loathe the Redwings.
10. Everyone is outdoorsy Okay that might be an exaggeration. Not EVERY person is outdoorsy but they are plentiful here. There are so many places to hike and hang out outdoors. I love it!
11. Royal Gorge Rafting. If I could go through the same company and have the same guide (Miles), I'd do it in a second. It was an incredible time and so fun! I can't wait to go again.
12. Denver Zoo I am a huge fan of the zoo, even as an adult. Denver's zoo is awesome and I could probably go there daily if I had the time.
13. Wash Park I might be a bit biased because I'm here so often but I love the park. Yes, the teenagers can get rowdy after school hours but, for the most part, it's gorgeous and there's so much open space to relax in.
14. Skiing Again, haven't done it but can't wait to try it.
15. Greatest state in our country Okay this is a generalization but overall, I think it's the best. Perfect climate (for the most part), great people, beautiful scenery and even more!!!
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Lazy Sunday Post
I'm pretty sure Bob is enjoying her new plant....
Sad that a girly girl that just spent the morning doing a sugar scrub, facial and pedicure
loves this frog so much.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
10 Worst Things to Say to a Photographer
Forgive my rant but I rant for a reason. LOL Here are my top 10 things you should never tell a photographer....
1. Here...why don't you let me have your camera and I'll take a picture of you. There is a twofold problem with this. First, I am incredibly protective over my camera...it's my baby. Partially because it's how I capture my passion in a physical form and partially because I actually do make extra money with it. Secondly, true photographers don't like to be in front of the camera all that often. Yes, I wish there was more pictures of me at events, etc but the fact is that I am not a fan of selfies so there aren't a lot of options for a girl that's protective of her camera.
2. How'd you do that? I'd love to try to copy it. Ummm if I wanted you to copy it, I would have put a tutorial on Pinterest. If you want to copy it, figure it out. It's one thing to use someone's work for inspiration and another to copy it exactly.
3. Is that what you wear to shoot a wedding/event/family photo shoot? Just so you know, we don't like to be critiqued and it varies widely by photographer and event/type of shoot as to what we wear. There are occasions when I'll be "hiking" a lot that I wear sneakers. Then again, there are a lot of occasions where I throw on some 3" heels and shoot just fine (Flirty 30 parties, charity events...I'll climb on chairs in that stuff and not think twice). Unless it is essential that we be dressed in a certain fashion, let us have the ability to gauge it for ourselves.
4. Do you really have to charge that much? Here's the deal...I don't charge much for my sessions because I mostly do CDs and let people print on their own. For people that handle the prints, etc, I understand their desire to charge more. Yes, it is definitely true that we are giving away copyright and we have the right to charge what we want. Yes there ARE a lot of photographers that gouge on pricing because they can. Get to know and trust your photographer and you can negotiate price much easier.
5. Well he was doing it for free so I went to him instead. This is my pet peeve. If you know and trust your photographer, you should be loyal, particularly if they're flexible and courteous of you with their time and budget. A freebie is NOT worth pissing your photographer off so they won't work with you anymore...trust me. Great photographers who will work with your budget are hard to come by in some areas. Taking advantage of their trust is not the route to go to work with them in the future.
6. Well money's tight right now. Can't you just do it for free since I know you? I happen to know doctors, bankers, etc I don't expect their services to be free because I know them. If someone is willing to give of their time and energy, you should be willing to compensate them. With that being said, yes I have done freebies but I do them when I'm volunteering my time. I don't like to be surprised with it. I have also bartered services for sessions. Most freelance photographers aren't unwilling to negotiate but don't low-ball them.
7. Why do you have to charge mileage? As a rule, I don't charge mileage unless it's more than 15 miles away from me. With that being said, that is NOT always the rule for photographers. In general I charge mileage because I keep my rates low otherwise. If you travel close to me, there's no mileage charge. If you don't, I actually figure out the overage of miles, look at the current gas rate and charge only what it costs for me to travel. Not all photographers work that way. With that being said, if a photographer is up front on their cost, you know what the cost is ahead of time and questioning it at pay time is tacky and rude.
8. I brought *insert prop name here* so we can copy this. Okay I want to be delicate here....I love when clients bring with ideas for inspiration. I don't want to copy it exactly and, most of the time, it's not entirely possible. This is especially true with babies. Yes, those newborn shots are adorable, but you might have a wiggly newborn that can't do it. Those adorable tummy shots are great but you might have a baby at 3 months that isn't quite ready for it developmentally. There are a lot of shots we can recreate but let's work together to use it as inspiration, not tracing paper.
9. Can you photoshop off 15 lbs? Quick answer, at least for me....YES...but no. Yes I CAN take 15 lbs off of your body in the portrait. I can also sculpt your face, change your eye color, give you a tan or a million other things. Will I? Not so much. My goal is to bring out your natural beauty, not change who you are and what you look like. My goal is to show your personality, not hide it with airbrushing.
10. Is this your only job? This isn't entirely offensive but you seem to get the hairy eyeball when you say "no." The reality of it is that I think I'd lose my passion if it's the only thing I ever did...at least for now. Would I love to do it again as my sole job someday? YES! Right now, it's just not possible....but it doesn't make me any less passionate about or good at what I do.
Lesson for clients? Think before you speak. Exercise tact and it will go miles. Use your word of mouth to spread the word that I'm good and I'll work with you even more! Treat your photographer the way you'd want to be treated and you'll go far!
1. Here...why don't you let me have your camera and I'll take a picture of you. There is a twofold problem with this. First, I am incredibly protective over my camera...it's my baby. Partially because it's how I capture my passion in a physical form and partially because I actually do make extra money with it. Secondly, true photographers don't like to be in front of the camera all that often. Yes, I wish there was more pictures of me at events, etc but the fact is that I am not a fan of selfies so there aren't a lot of options for a girl that's protective of her camera.
2. How'd you do that? I'd love to try to copy it. Ummm if I wanted you to copy it, I would have put a tutorial on Pinterest. If you want to copy it, figure it out. It's one thing to use someone's work for inspiration and another to copy it exactly.
3. Is that what you wear to shoot a wedding/event/family photo shoot? Just so you know, we don't like to be critiqued and it varies widely by photographer and event/type of shoot as to what we wear. There are occasions when I'll be "hiking" a lot that I wear sneakers. Then again, there are a lot of occasions where I throw on some 3" heels and shoot just fine (Flirty 30 parties, charity events...I'll climb on chairs in that stuff and not think twice). Unless it is essential that we be dressed in a certain fashion, let us have the ability to gauge it for ourselves.
4. Do you really have to charge that much? Here's the deal...I don't charge much for my sessions because I mostly do CDs and let people print on their own. For people that handle the prints, etc, I understand their desire to charge more. Yes, it is definitely true that we are giving away copyright and we have the right to charge what we want. Yes there ARE a lot of photographers that gouge on pricing because they can. Get to know and trust your photographer and you can negotiate price much easier.
5. Well he was doing it for free so I went to him instead. This is my pet peeve. If you know and trust your photographer, you should be loyal, particularly if they're flexible and courteous of you with their time and budget. A freebie is NOT worth pissing your photographer off so they won't work with you anymore...trust me. Great photographers who will work with your budget are hard to come by in some areas. Taking advantage of their trust is not the route to go to work with them in the future.
6. Well money's tight right now. Can't you just do it for free since I know you? I happen to know doctors, bankers, etc I don't expect their services to be free because I know them. If someone is willing to give of their time and energy, you should be willing to compensate them. With that being said, yes I have done freebies but I do them when I'm volunteering my time. I don't like to be surprised with it. I have also bartered services for sessions. Most freelance photographers aren't unwilling to negotiate but don't low-ball them.
7. Why do you have to charge mileage? As a rule, I don't charge mileage unless it's more than 15 miles away from me. With that being said, that is NOT always the rule for photographers. In general I charge mileage because I keep my rates low otherwise. If you travel close to me, there's no mileage charge. If you don't, I actually figure out the overage of miles, look at the current gas rate and charge only what it costs for me to travel. Not all photographers work that way. With that being said, if a photographer is up front on their cost, you know what the cost is ahead of time and questioning it at pay time is tacky and rude.
8. I brought *insert prop name here* so we can copy this. Okay I want to be delicate here....I love when clients bring with ideas for inspiration. I don't want to copy it exactly and, most of the time, it's not entirely possible. This is especially true with babies. Yes, those newborn shots are adorable, but you might have a wiggly newborn that can't do it. Those adorable tummy shots are great but you might have a baby at 3 months that isn't quite ready for it developmentally. There are a lot of shots we can recreate but let's work together to use it as inspiration, not tracing paper.
9. Can you photoshop off 15 lbs? Quick answer, at least for me....YES...but no. Yes I CAN take 15 lbs off of your body in the portrait. I can also sculpt your face, change your eye color, give you a tan or a million other things. Will I? Not so much. My goal is to bring out your natural beauty, not change who you are and what you look like. My goal is to show your personality, not hide it with airbrushing.
10. Is this your only job? This isn't entirely offensive but you seem to get the hairy eyeball when you say "no." The reality of it is that I think I'd lose my passion if it's the only thing I ever did...at least for now. Would I love to do it again as my sole job someday? YES! Right now, it's just not possible....but it doesn't make me any less passionate about or good at what I do.
Lesson for clients? Think before you speak. Exercise tact and it will go miles. Use your word of mouth to spread the word that I'm good and I'll work with you even more! Treat your photographer the way you'd want to be treated and you'll go far!
Respecting Yourself
I have been on a bit of a bender lately trying to convince my friends (and family) that they are amazing exactly how they are. It's not some mission to blow smoke up people's ass or to sugar coat something to make them feel good about themselves. It is a true feeling that I have about the people that I love. I honestly believe that there is beauty in everyone no matter what size, color or culture. As always, I have some opinions on the topic that range a bit so bear with me....
Your body is exactly the way it's meant to be. Yes, that means that you might have a bigger bone structure or you might be built really thin. You might have really dark skin or really light skin. You might have curly hair or stick straight hair and it might be thick or thin. And yes, ladies, you might have a ginormous rack...or you might be small busted like me. Guess what? It's exactly what it's supposed to be. Own it! I don't mean to be brash so brace yourself is this might offend you but yes, I have smallish boobs....they're not much but they're mine and I'm proud of them exactly the way they are. I have a head full of crazy curls (and yes I do straighten occasionally) but I own it. I understand that I may never be on the cover of Maxim but I love myself exactly the way I am.
Health is more important than a number. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a fan of doctors for a lot of reasons. One of these reason is that there is always a chart...a number of what you SHOULD be. You should be this weight or this BMI or a million other things. People are all different and I believe that, from birth, numbers are just that..numbers. If you are healthy, the numbers don't matter. I can't be a chronic dieter because I enjoy food FAR too much. I have mild hyperthyroidism so my body naturally operates on a "thin" level (though it comes with side effects) but I'm also hypoglycemic so I have to eat regularly. I can't imagine starving myself or limiting what I can eat (though I understand portion size). I don't believe in cutting out all carbs or all meat or anything like that. I think that you should get yourself or keep yourself healthy and stop worrying about the damn numbers on the scales, the tags, or the doctor's charts.
EVERYONE is beautiful but some people blow it with their mouth. That sounded almost explicit, didn't it? There are some people that are incredibly beautiful outwardly but become less so to me because they run their mouths with arrogance, cruelty and so on. By the same token, there are a lot of people that I think are absolutely gorgeous that the world says are not. Every single person on this planet has some beauty in them no matter how far hidden it is. Some people choose to hide it with their actions. For the most part, though, there are a lot of people underappreciated because they aren't what the world considers "beautiful." I do consider myself beautiful and I don't think that it's cocky to say so. With that being said, I don't consider myself extraordinary....extraordinary beauty has yet to meet my eye. There are some women that are stunning but have bad attitudes and some that are "average" but incredibly beautiful inwardly. I don't know that extraordinary beauty exists because I think that there is much less appreciation for TRUE beauty than there should be.
Beauty is not about being a skank Yes there's probably a less crude way to phrase that but, well that's me. There is a time and a place for dressing sexy but it's not NECESSARY to being beautiful. There is just as much beauty in a classy suit as there is a sexy piece of lingerie. It's not about the clothes as much as it is the way you carry yourself. It's not necessary to put it all out there. If you feel comfortable that way, it's not being a skank. Dressing sexy doesn't make you a skank. A skank is someone that is dressing in a certain way for attention of others. Beauty is not about the amount of attention you get. It's about feeling comfortable in YOUR skin.
Beauty is about being comfortable in your skin. This sort of plays on my last comment. Some people are comfortable in turtlenecks or sweats. Some are comfortable in jeans, some in dresses. Hell, I'm comfortable in a comfortable pair of gym shorts, a tank top and some knee socks (yep, guilty...I looooove knee socks) I'm equally as comfortable in a pair of jeans and high heels (another guilty pleasure). What your comfortable in may vary from day to day or activity to activity but don't dress to impress someone else, keep up with a trend or be like some celebrity. Be YOU! Beauty is about feeling confident and that comes from being comfortable in your skin.
Beauty is not the number of selfies you post I get the concept of selfies. I truly do. It's perfectly fine to take pictures of yourself having a good time. When it becomes obsessive or inappropriate (after sex selfie trend), there's a problem. You can post a million selfies and it's not going to make people think you're any more or less beautiful. It's really easy to take a picture of yourself all decked out and leading the world to believe that you're like that when you wake up. It's another thing to be real about who you are and not need the affirmation of the world of facebook (or whatever other outlet) saying how pretty you are.
Intelligence is beautiful My pet peeve is girls dumbing themselves down to appear more attractive to a guy. Oy! If a guy is threatened by your intelligence then it's on him..not you. (and vice versa). True intelligence is beautiful. Let me go a step further...KNOWLEDGE is beautiful. Learning about someone else's culture, religion, and so on and so forth expands your mind. Truly open minds are beautiful.
and finally.....
Beauty changes with age. It doesn't get better or worse...it changes. The definition of beauty is different at every age. Chubby cheeks are adorable on babies yet wrinkles are considered ugly. I have seen many absolutely stunning older women that have wrinkles upon wrinkles but they shine because they're happy with themselves. Beauty changes its definition with age...boobs sag (as do man parts, boys), hair gets gray, and so on. Cosmetic surgery is a solution for some but the reality is that you're going to change no matter what. There's nothing wrong with dying your hair or taking care of yourself but understand that your stretch marks make a declaration that you carried a child, you are gaining age but you are gaining beauty in a different way.
If more women in this world (and men for that matter) understood the real meaning of beauty and respecting yourself, maybe there would be less criticism and mean girl syndrome.
Your body is exactly the way it's meant to be. Yes, that means that you might have a bigger bone structure or you might be built really thin. You might have really dark skin or really light skin. You might have curly hair or stick straight hair and it might be thick or thin. And yes, ladies, you might have a ginormous rack...or you might be small busted like me. Guess what? It's exactly what it's supposed to be. Own it! I don't mean to be brash so brace yourself is this might offend you but yes, I have smallish boobs....they're not much but they're mine and I'm proud of them exactly the way they are. I have a head full of crazy curls (and yes I do straighten occasionally) but I own it. I understand that I may never be on the cover of Maxim but I love myself exactly the way I am.
Health is more important than a number. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a fan of doctors for a lot of reasons. One of these reason is that there is always a chart...a number of what you SHOULD be. You should be this weight or this BMI or a million other things. People are all different and I believe that, from birth, numbers are just that..numbers. If you are healthy, the numbers don't matter. I can't be a chronic dieter because I enjoy food FAR too much. I have mild hyperthyroidism so my body naturally operates on a "thin" level (though it comes with side effects) but I'm also hypoglycemic so I have to eat regularly. I can't imagine starving myself or limiting what I can eat (though I understand portion size). I don't believe in cutting out all carbs or all meat or anything like that. I think that you should get yourself or keep yourself healthy and stop worrying about the damn numbers on the scales, the tags, or the doctor's charts.
EVERYONE is beautiful but some people blow it with their mouth. That sounded almost explicit, didn't it? There are some people that are incredibly beautiful outwardly but become less so to me because they run their mouths with arrogance, cruelty and so on. By the same token, there are a lot of people that I think are absolutely gorgeous that the world says are not. Every single person on this planet has some beauty in them no matter how far hidden it is. Some people choose to hide it with their actions. For the most part, though, there are a lot of people underappreciated because they aren't what the world considers "beautiful." I do consider myself beautiful and I don't think that it's cocky to say so. With that being said, I don't consider myself extraordinary....extraordinary beauty has yet to meet my eye. There are some women that are stunning but have bad attitudes and some that are "average" but incredibly beautiful inwardly. I don't know that extraordinary beauty exists because I think that there is much less appreciation for TRUE beauty than there should be.
Beauty is not about being a skank Yes there's probably a less crude way to phrase that but, well that's me. There is a time and a place for dressing sexy but it's not NECESSARY to being beautiful. There is just as much beauty in a classy suit as there is a sexy piece of lingerie. It's not about the clothes as much as it is the way you carry yourself. It's not necessary to put it all out there. If you feel comfortable that way, it's not being a skank. Dressing sexy doesn't make you a skank. A skank is someone that is dressing in a certain way for attention of others. Beauty is not about the amount of attention you get. It's about feeling comfortable in YOUR skin.
Beauty is about being comfortable in your skin. This sort of plays on my last comment. Some people are comfortable in turtlenecks or sweats. Some are comfortable in jeans, some in dresses. Hell, I'm comfortable in a comfortable pair of gym shorts, a tank top and some knee socks (yep, guilty...I looooove knee socks) I'm equally as comfortable in a pair of jeans and high heels (another guilty pleasure). What your comfortable in may vary from day to day or activity to activity but don't dress to impress someone else, keep up with a trend or be like some celebrity. Be YOU! Beauty is about feeling confident and that comes from being comfortable in your skin.
Beauty is not the number of selfies you post I get the concept of selfies. I truly do. It's perfectly fine to take pictures of yourself having a good time. When it becomes obsessive or inappropriate (after sex selfie trend), there's a problem. You can post a million selfies and it's not going to make people think you're any more or less beautiful. It's really easy to take a picture of yourself all decked out and leading the world to believe that you're like that when you wake up. It's another thing to be real about who you are and not need the affirmation of the world of facebook (or whatever other outlet) saying how pretty you are.
Intelligence is beautiful My pet peeve is girls dumbing themselves down to appear more attractive to a guy. Oy! If a guy is threatened by your intelligence then it's on him..not you. (and vice versa). True intelligence is beautiful. Let me go a step further...KNOWLEDGE is beautiful. Learning about someone else's culture, religion, and so on and so forth expands your mind. Truly open minds are beautiful.
and finally.....
Beauty changes with age. It doesn't get better or worse...it changes. The definition of beauty is different at every age. Chubby cheeks are adorable on babies yet wrinkles are considered ugly. I have seen many absolutely stunning older women that have wrinkles upon wrinkles but they shine because they're happy with themselves. Beauty changes its definition with age...boobs sag (as do man parts, boys), hair gets gray, and so on. Cosmetic surgery is a solution for some but the reality is that you're going to change no matter what. There's nothing wrong with dying your hair or taking care of yourself but understand that your stretch marks make a declaration that you carried a child, you are gaining age but you are gaining beauty in a different way.
If more women in this world (and men for that matter) understood the real meaning of beauty and respecting yourself, maybe there would be less criticism and mean girl syndrome.
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