We live in a world where everything is designed to attempt to be "fair." It's not "fair" if someone gets paid more than you. It's not "fair" if someone gets to have great seats at a game and you're stuck in the cheap seats. It's not "fair" that the kid down the street got more eggs in the Easter Egg Hunt than your kid. It's not "fair" that she can afford botox while you're aging not-so-gracefully trying to pay for your kids' summer camp. Everything is fair and everyone feels entitled to it being fair.
One of the major areas I see real unfairness is in families. The sad thing is that no one seems to really focus on how unfair these things are unless it's drastic. No one focuses on how unfair a child's situation is with their parents unless they're hospitalized for abuse. No one focuses on how unfair a parent's situation is with their parents unless they're admitted into rehab. Everyone judges but no one focuses on fairness here. It comes in all shapes and sizes but, let's face it, sometimes family isn't fair. Here are a few examples....
The parent who just can't hack it. I don't mean this in a mean or judgmental way but some parents just can't hack it. Sadly, I'm not referring to parents that give their children up for adoption; this is a responsible choice when you know you can't handle parenting in one way or another and it's what's best for the child. I'm referring to parents that continue to drag their children through life, hating parenthood. I'm referring to the parents that talk about their kids like they're a burden constantly and who talk about how much better their life was before kids. I'm referring to the parents who don't even try to make their kids lives better because they're too focused on designer clothes and shoes. I'm talking about parents that are addicted to substances and neglecting their kids. I'm talking about thousands of parents that just don't care. These kids are the ones that live an unfair life.
The parents who are more concerned with jobs than kids. I do NOT just mean working parents here. Working parents are a reality. There is a vast difference between a working parent and a parent more concerned with job than kids. Most working parents are just trying to get by...they come home and their kids are their entire focus. I don't care if they work after bedtime...they focus on their kids when they're awake. These parents aren't the ones I'm referring to. I'm referring to the ones that come home and yell at their kids for being in the way, who never make it to events because they're doing their own thing. I'm talking about the parents that can't put down their phone long enough to watch the spring concert at school. These kids live an unfair life.
The parents that clearly favor a child. All the way up into adulthood, this isn't fair. When a parent or both parents clearly favor a specific child, it's an all around crappy situation. Maybe the parent lets the other child get away with murder or maybe they support them no matter what while shunning the other one. More and more adult families are dealing with strife caused by favoring a child. Parents seem to forget their role. The kids that get pushed aside live an unfair life.
The parents who leave. Let's be blunt...it happens. Parents leave. This is an unfair life.
There are a million other cases but the next time you talk about how unfair something is, think about how unfair life can be for people that don't get a choice. Think about how unfair these kids' lives are or a million other situations where they can't help what's happening to them. It might put things into perspective a bit better.
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