Dear Angry Douche Nugget on the Highway:
Okay, I get that there's traffic. I really do. I get that the traffic is awful and that's it's frustrating. I know that you have places to be...but so do the rest of the drivers on the road. I watched you this morning as the cars were trying to merge. I watched you drive slowly, giving them that hope that you'd let them in and then speed up and nearly run them off the road. I watched you drive incredibly slow right afterwards to allow them to get close to you on the road and then speed up again when they turned on their blinker to pass you. I saw it happen.
Let me tell you something you may not know....we all have places to be. We all are just trying to get there safely. If you want to speed up to get in front of those merging drivers, fine. If you think that will get you to your destination very much fast, fine. If you want to slow down or move over, even better. Yes, the merging drivers are responsible for getting up to the pace of traffic but that's difficult to do when you aren't regulating your speed for them to match.
In short, stop acting like an entitled jackass and let the other drivers in before you cause a damn accident and delay everyone for your selfishness.
Sincerely,
Me
Monday, February 29, 2016
Mom Boobs
I keep reading all these articles on how to get back your body after a baby. It's adorable to see how these model and celebrity moms (with their personal trainers) push themselves to the brink to get back the perfect body and, for them, it's necessary. Quite honestly, their bodies are a good portion of how they get jobs in Hollywood so I get it. After you've had 2, 3 or 4 babies, though, your body will almost certain change. So instead of a post on how to get your body back, I'm going to give you some tips on what to expect on how to love it anyway.
Mom Boobs If you've breastfed one, you might still get the benefit of perky pretty boobs. Once you've had two, they're just sad. They can vary in size but they're all sad. Realistically, you're going to have Mom boobs. They'll be saggy and have stretch marks but they'll be fantastic no matter what. Get a good bra and do some chest exercises and they'll be as good as new....okay not as good as new but as good as Mom boobs can be. Love em the way they are and remember that they would have sagged with age anyway.
Tiger Stripes I love the concept that they keep calling stretch marks "tiger stripes". Let me tell you something: 70% of women do not view them that way. Some are blessed with nearly white stretch marks and others are dark red. Some only get them in certain spots and others end up with them on their legs, butt, stomach, breasts and anywhere else you can fathom. Here's the deal though....they're stretch marks. They're not the end of the world. Be thankful you are able to have a baby and love them regardless.
Undereye circles Even if you're blessed with an incredible sleeper, you're still going to have to deal with undereye circles. They're the true mark of a mama. Throw on some concealer and occasionally cool cucumbers or a cool rag.
Mom Tummy Even if you get back most of your flat tummy, Mom tummy will always be ready to make its appearance when you least expect it. Appreciate it, love it and be thankful for your curves. They're gorgeous the way they are.
Instead of torturing yourself trying to look perfect, embrace your body and work towards being a healthy mama. You're kicking ass, girl!
Mom Boobs If you've breastfed one, you might still get the benefit of perky pretty boobs. Once you've had two, they're just sad. They can vary in size but they're all sad. Realistically, you're going to have Mom boobs. They'll be saggy and have stretch marks but they'll be fantastic no matter what. Get a good bra and do some chest exercises and they'll be as good as new....okay not as good as new but as good as Mom boobs can be. Love em the way they are and remember that they would have sagged with age anyway.
Tiger Stripes I love the concept that they keep calling stretch marks "tiger stripes". Let me tell you something: 70% of women do not view them that way. Some are blessed with nearly white stretch marks and others are dark red. Some only get them in certain spots and others end up with them on their legs, butt, stomach, breasts and anywhere else you can fathom. Here's the deal though....they're stretch marks. They're not the end of the world. Be thankful you are able to have a baby and love them regardless.
Undereye circles Even if you're blessed with an incredible sleeper, you're still going to have to deal with undereye circles. They're the true mark of a mama. Throw on some concealer and occasionally cool cucumbers or a cool rag.
Mom Tummy Even if you get back most of your flat tummy, Mom tummy will always be ready to make its appearance when you least expect it. Appreciate it, love it and be thankful for your curves. They're gorgeous the way they are.
Instead of torturing yourself trying to look perfect, embrace your body and work towards being a healthy mama. You're kicking ass, girl!
Stadium Series at Coors Field Review
I had the pleasure of attending the Stadium Series game at Coors Field between the Redwings and the Avalanche and had an amazing time. I thought I'd deliver a review.
Spectator Plaza was set up amazingly. We got there early in order to allow us to fully participate in the festivities. There was an incredible variety of things to do from corn hole (aka bean bags) to video games to arcade style games. On top of that, there was live music, booths offering a chance to try your hand at slap shots and even get a picture being a "sports caster" with NHL Network. 21 and older had a separate area where there were even more great festivities. The apparel booths were fantastic and the staff everywhere was fantastic.
Coors Field, as usual, was a great venue. Restrooms were clean and the lines weren't, overall, bad. The concessions weren't nearly as badly priced as I thought they'd be. I got an incredibly big tray of loaded out nachos for $7.50. The staff was nice, the security was plentiful and the venue, itself is fantastic with not a bad seat in the house.
The pre-game and intermission entertainment was fantastic. Andy Grammer put on a fantastic show that amped up the audience and got everyone swaying to the music. The Fray's performance was incredible with the outfield audience getting to be part of the light show. Honoring our police and military was outstanding!
The best part of the event, though, was the hockey itself. Both teams played hard and put on a great game. The officiating was fantastic and the outdoor "feel" just made it even more exciting. In the end, the Redwings pulled through making this girl one happy hockey chick.
To be improved on? The fake snow. I get that it had to be improvised, however, by the end of the game, half of the intoxicated college kids watching the game were more amused by the "snow" blowing around than the game itself.
Overall, it is an experience that I'd recommend for every sports fan to have at least one time! Go Redwings!
Spectator Plaza was set up amazingly. We got there early in order to allow us to fully participate in the festivities. There was an incredible variety of things to do from corn hole (aka bean bags) to video games to arcade style games. On top of that, there was live music, booths offering a chance to try your hand at slap shots and even get a picture being a "sports caster" with NHL Network. 21 and older had a separate area where there were even more great festivities. The apparel booths were fantastic and the staff everywhere was fantastic.
Coors Field, as usual, was a great venue. Restrooms were clean and the lines weren't, overall, bad. The concessions weren't nearly as badly priced as I thought they'd be. I got an incredibly big tray of loaded out nachos for $7.50. The staff was nice, the security was plentiful and the venue, itself is fantastic with not a bad seat in the house.
The pre-game and intermission entertainment was fantastic. Andy Grammer put on a fantastic show that amped up the audience and got everyone swaying to the music. The Fray's performance was incredible with the outfield audience getting to be part of the light show. Honoring our police and military was outstanding!
The best part of the event, though, was the hockey itself. Both teams played hard and put on a great game. The officiating was fantastic and the outdoor "feel" just made it even more exciting. In the end, the Redwings pulled through making this girl one happy hockey chick.
To be improved on? The fake snow. I get that it had to be improvised, however, by the end of the game, half of the intoxicated college kids watching the game were more amused by the "snow" blowing around than the game itself.
Overall, it is an experience that I'd recommend for every sports fan to have at least one time! Go Redwings!
Waking the Teenage Beast
1. Quietly sneak up and whisper to the teenager. It's sort of similar to approaching a deer in the wild. Very quiet. Observe before continuing.
2. "Cheese touch" the teenager's arm to gently jostle. If you're unfamiliar, the "cheese touch" is a quick, matter of fact pat on the arm in which you jerk your arm back afterward to avoid being swatted.
3. If said teenager still doesn't move, jostle again in the same manner, adding a slightly louder whisper.
4. If teenager groans, you're making progress. This time, tap them lightly.
5. Now dodge their arm as you jostle them a bit harder this time.
6. Block out the sound of the groans as you give on last verbal request.
7. As a last result, spray with water bottle and run.
2. "Cheese touch" the teenager's arm to gently jostle. If you're unfamiliar, the "cheese touch" is a quick, matter of fact pat on the arm in which you jerk your arm back afterward to avoid being swatted.
3. If said teenager still doesn't move, jostle again in the same manner, adding a slightly louder whisper.
4. If teenager groans, you're making progress. This time, tap them lightly.
5. Now dodge their arm as you jostle them a bit harder this time.
6. Block out the sound of the groans as you give on last verbal request.
7. As a last result, spray with water bottle and run.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Kk
"Kk"
It's two letters but those two letters creep right under my skin and make me nuts. Every generation has their words that they use in a trendy way. Most come from movies, songs lyrics or out of some celebrity's mouths and social media just makes it more accessible. For a great deal of parents, hearing these words makes you cringe like nails on a chalkboard. It seems to start younger and younger anymore and the parents that think it's adorable that little Johnny used the f-word in kindergarten aren't helping the situation. "Awwww isn't it adorable that she dressed like a character from OITNB?" No, not it's not. Let's be realistic, I love "Orange is the New Black" but it's not a show for five year olds. It's just not. But I digress. Here are some of the words I hear kids use that make me develop a tick of epic proportions.....
"Kk" It's a response when someone makes a request of you. It's kind of like "Ok" texted from an illiterate monkey whose fingers are too big for the touchpad on the phone. "Ok" is a shortened version of "okay." It takes no more time to type than this lazy man's response and makes me feel like common core hasn't completely destroyed their brains. (Haha)
"Bae". This one is even worse. This word will seriously make my blood boil. I loathe this word like a kid loathes eating creamed spinach. On a side note, "bae" means "poop" in Danish so every time you call your loved one this, your calling them "shit."
"Sup" This is another one that grinds my gears. Look, I don't mind if you text your friends with it. I really don't. However, if you want me to answer a question, don't text me with this phrase. I don't speak hoodrat.
So how have I been handling my kids using these words? Oh it's simple. I answer back with phrases from my day (even if they aren't completely fitting to the situation) and puzzle the crap out of them. So they text me "Kk" and I text them back "Word to your mutha." The same concept works for the trendy songs I'm God-awful sick of. They play "Whip Nae Nae" and I make them don their neon and dance to Bananarama singing "Venus." Two can play at that game.
Ironically, I know that this is completely normal for kids. However, I want them to know that there is a very clear difference in how you speak to an adult and a kid. I love you and you can talk to me about everything BUT I'm not your best friend. I'm your mom. Why can you talk to me then? Because 9/10 times, I can help you resolve whatever's going on much more effectively anyway. Just don't start the conversation with "Sup".....ever. Kk?
It's two letters but those two letters creep right under my skin and make me nuts. Every generation has their words that they use in a trendy way. Most come from movies, songs lyrics or out of some celebrity's mouths and social media just makes it more accessible. For a great deal of parents, hearing these words makes you cringe like nails on a chalkboard. It seems to start younger and younger anymore and the parents that think it's adorable that little Johnny used the f-word in kindergarten aren't helping the situation. "Awwww isn't it adorable that she dressed like a character from OITNB?" No, not it's not. Let's be realistic, I love "Orange is the New Black" but it's not a show for five year olds. It's just not. But I digress. Here are some of the words I hear kids use that make me develop a tick of epic proportions.....
"Kk" It's a response when someone makes a request of you. It's kind of like "Ok" texted from an illiterate monkey whose fingers are too big for the touchpad on the phone. "Ok" is a shortened version of "okay." It takes no more time to type than this lazy man's response and makes me feel like common core hasn't completely destroyed their brains. (Haha)
"Bae". This one is even worse. This word will seriously make my blood boil. I loathe this word like a kid loathes eating creamed spinach. On a side note, "bae" means "poop" in Danish so every time you call your loved one this, your calling them "shit."
"Sup" This is another one that grinds my gears. Look, I don't mind if you text your friends with it. I really don't. However, if you want me to answer a question, don't text me with this phrase. I don't speak hoodrat.
So how have I been handling my kids using these words? Oh it's simple. I answer back with phrases from my day (even if they aren't completely fitting to the situation) and puzzle the crap out of them. So they text me "Kk" and I text them back "Word to your mutha." The same concept works for the trendy songs I'm God-awful sick of. They play "Whip Nae Nae" and I make them don their neon and dance to Bananarama singing "Venus." Two can play at that game.
Ironically, I know that this is completely normal for kids. However, I want them to know that there is a very clear difference in how you speak to an adult and a kid. I love you and you can talk to me about everything BUT I'm not your best friend. I'm your mom. Why can you talk to me then? Because 9/10 times, I can help you resolve whatever's going on much more effectively anyway. Just don't start the conversation with "Sup".....ever. Kk?
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Review of TRP Earache Relief
I only do reviews here on a rare occasion but this is one that's worth doing. My daughter recently visited the ER with a nasty ear infection and sinus infection. I purchased a product from a company I really like called TRP. It's a homeopathic company that provides remedy products not requiring you to take prescription meds. I know there is a wide debate on homeopathy but I lean more on the side of homeopathy, herbal, essential oil and other natural remedies where possible. I had her on traditional OTC meds for an entire 24 hour period before starting this product and watched the enormous change for the positive after.
http://www.thereliefproducts.com/earache-relief/
The product is called TRP Earache Relief and the link is above. Here is my review:
I loved this product, without a doubt. Benefit 1: It dissolves under the user's tongue. It doesn't require a nasty tasting liquid or chewable that you have to pin them down to take. It's simple: put it under their tongue, it dissolves and the relief begins. Benefit 2: Because of the method of administration, it works very quickly. Benefit 3: It very definitely provides pain relief. The difference between giving her Tylonel and giving her this was incredible to observe. I didn't tell her ahead of time what to expect but after giving her this, she was able to function as opposed to laying, writhing in pain. Benefit 4: It allowed her to sleep. She was finally able to get enough relief to be able to sleep soundly.
While I can't tell anyone what is best for your or your family, I recommend educating yourself on homeopathic remedies and considering natural treatments as an option. I am very pleased with the benefits of this treatment and I'd recommend it to anyone (after they've researched and made certain it's an option they'd like to try).
http://www.thereliefproducts.com/earache-relief/
The product is called TRP Earache Relief and the link is above. Here is my review:
I loved this product, without a doubt. Benefit 1: It dissolves under the user's tongue. It doesn't require a nasty tasting liquid or chewable that you have to pin them down to take. It's simple: put it under their tongue, it dissolves and the relief begins. Benefit 2: Because of the method of administration, it works very quickly. Benefit 3: It very definitely provides pain relief. The difference between giving her Tylonel and giving her this was incredible to observe. I didn't tell her ahead of time what to expect but after giving her this, she was able to function as opposed to laying, writhing in pain. Benefit 4: It allowed her to sleep. She was finally able to get enough relief to be able to sleep soundly.
While I can't tell anyone what is best for your or your family, I recommend educating yourself on homeopathic remedies and considering natural treatments as an option. I am very pleased with the benefits of this treatment and I'd recommend it to anyone (after they've researched and made certain it's an option they'd like to try).
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
What Do You Want
"What do you want?"
You know the phrase well if you're the parent of a tween or teen. Your normally distracted teenager starts cleaning the house, using sugar sweet compliments and being incredibly pleasant. I have learned to embrace it. I still say the same phrase: What do you want? With that said, here's how to handle your teenager if they spark your thoughts on this phrase:
1. Give them more chores. Hell, take advantage of their helpful attitude.
2. Give them a great big hug. This might be your only opportunity.
3. Tell them how great they are. Truly, they deserve to hear it and this might be an opportunity that they'll actually listen to.
4. Make them stand on one leg and plead their case while hopping. Okay maybe that's a bit extreme.
5. Realize that, regardless of motivation, they're actually getting something done and embrace it.
You know the phrase well if you're the parent of a tween or teen. Your normally distracted teenager starts cleaning the house, using sugar sweet compliments and being incredibly pleasant. I have learned to embrace it. I still say the same phrase: What do you want? With that said, here's how to handle your teenager if they spark your thoughts on this phrase:
1. Give them more chores. Hell, take advantage of their helpful attitude.
2. Give them a great big hug. This might be your only opportunity.
3. Tell them how great they are. Truly, they deserve to hear it and this might be an opportunity that they'll actually listen to.
4. Make them stand on one leg and plead their case while hopping. Okay maybe that's a bit extreme.
5. Realize that, regardless of motivation, they're actually getting something done and embrace it.
Ear Infections and Meds
There's very few feelings as awful as feeling helpless. My youngest has an ear infection (and sinus infection) and I feel completely helpless. Even with prescription meds, the first couple days are absolutely awful when a kid has an ear infection. Truly, truly awful.
The nurse was absolutely stunned that a child as old as Syd hadn't had antibiotics in years, if ever. My reasoning is simple: I don't like antibiotics or any prescription med unless it's absolutely necessary. Why? I feel like prescription drugs are a slippery slope. Antibiotics do your immune system's job for you so, in my opinion, you end up sick again right after in a whole lot of cases. Realistically, most people's immune systems are built to fight off most illnesses. With the right encouragement (plenty of natural ways to do it), a healthy diet and exercise, along with drinking plenty of water, most people's bodies can take on the world.
I have a hard time putting my kids (who are fed a healthy diet, get up and run around like crazy and drink A TON of water) on regular medications. I am all for using them when it's absolutely necessary but I hate giving them medications, prescription or over the counter. Because of that, their immune systems are crazy potent and they have scarcely EVER been to a sick visit at the doctor.
My suggestion is to really research the prescription drugs your family is prescribed by your doctor. Truly look into the side effects. Read up on what medicines those side effects might require. Educate yourself on whether or not the side effects are worth it. Look into alternative options. Then decide what's best for your family
The nurse was absolutely stunned that a child as old as Syd hadn't had antibiotics in years, if ever. My reasoning is simple: I don't like antibiotics or any prescription med unless it's absolutely necessary. Why? I feel like prescription drugs are a slippery slope. Antibiotics do your immune system's job for you so, in my opinion, you end up sick again right after in a whole lot of cases. Realistically, most people's immune systems are built to fight off most illnesses. With the right encouragement (plenty of natural ways to do it), a healthy diet and exercise, along with drinking plenty of water, most people's bodies can take on the world.
I have a hard time putting my kids (who are fed a healthy diet, get up and run around like crazy and drink A TON of water) on regular medications. I am all for using them when it's absolutely necessary but I hate giving them medications, prescription or over the counter. Because of that, their immune systems are crazy potent and they have scarcely EVER been to a sick visit at the doctor.
My suggestion is to really research the prescription drugs your family is prescribed by your doctor. Truly look into the side effects. Read up on what medicines those side effects might require. Educate yourself on whether or not the side effects are worth it. Look into alternative options. Then decide what's best for your family
Sunday, February 21, 2016
The Real Sex Ed
I've heard it said that sex ed should really be sitting a teenager in a room watching the same episode of "Caillou" over and over. That I can actually agree with. If I was going to make a little sex ed course, it'd probably entail some of the following....
Having to sniff for poo scent. Yup, that's right. Get used to sniffing for poo. When they're little, you're sniffing their diapers and when they're older, you're doing the "did you change your underwear" cha cha on a daily basis.
Sitting in a room that smells like urine Seriously, as soon as they potty train, get used to it (especially if you have boys). Kids hardly ever remember to flush. You should probably get used to floaters too.
Just for good measure, let's add sweat to that room too If you weren't grossed out enough, let's add sweat because you'll be smelling a lot of it.
and everyone around you is talking to you with something clenched between their teeth. If life isn't hard enough, let's add that you can't understand what anyone is saying because they've got something clenched in their teeth much like a toddler with a pacifier trying to tell you what she wants for breakfast.
Because life isn't frustrating enough, randomly, for no reason at all, someone in the room will scream in a high pitched, opera level voice for no less than thirty minutes. Perhaps they want a bite of your lunch or perhaps their sock is too tight. Either way, it's non stop, it's loud and it's ear piercing.
Now let's throw in Caillou, Teletubbies, and for some good measure, Barney Lots and lots of Caillou because that whiny little twit gets nails-on-a-chalkboard aggravating about five minutes in.
and finally, at random, you have to listen to a voice that only dogs can make out screaming that you're ruining their life because...well....teenagers.
Everyone always refers to "great American smokeouts" when you catch your kid smoking. How about using the same method for kids. I can donate a few toddlers I know to make sex ed a much more potent experience that shows young girls that babies aren't as much fun as they think. After that we can teach them about how to prevent pregnancy in an effective manner while it's still fresh on their brains.
Just food for thought.
Having to sniff for poo scent. Yup, that's right. Get used to sniffing for poo. When they're little, you're sniffing their diapers and when they're older, you're doing the "did you change your underwear" cha cha on a daily basis.
Sitting in a room that smells like urine Seriously, as soon as they potty train, get used to it (especially if you have boys). Kids hardly ever remember to flush. You should probably get used to floaters too.
Just for good measure, let's add sweat to that room too If you weren't grossed out enough, let's add sweat because you'll be smelling a lot of it.
and everyone around you is talking to you with something clenched between their teeth. If life isn't hard enough, let's add that you can't understand what anyone is saying because they've got something clenched in their teeth much like a toddler with a pacifier trying to tell you what she wants for breakfast.
Because life isn't frustrating enough, randomly, for no reason at all, someone in the room will scream in a high pitched, opera level voice for no less than thirty minutes. Perhaps they want a bite of your lunch or perhaps their sock is too tight. Either way, it's non stop, it's loud and it's ear piercing.
Now let's throw in Caillou, Teletubbies, and for some good measure, Barney Lots and lots of Caillou because that whiny little twit gets nails-on-a-chalkboard aggravating about five minutes in.
and finally, at random, you have to listen to a voice that only dogs can make out screaming that you're ruining their life because...well....teenagers.
Everyone always refers to "great American smokeouts" when you catch your kid smoking. How about using the same method for kids. I can donate a few toddlers I know to make sex ed a much more potent experience that shows young girls that babies aren't as much fun as they think. After that we can teach them about how to prevent pregnancy in an effective manner while it's still fresh on their brains.
Just food for thought.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
The Denver Art Museum
I'd like to take a minute to give the Denver Art Museum some props. I have a firm belief that the arts are an amazing way to expand children's minds. I believe that children have a better learning experience and become more creative as they explore the arts. We took a trip to Denver Art Museum yesterday and I was very impressed overall. Not only was the artwork amazing but they have ample opportunities to let the kids explore. Before you go, here are some things I think are helpful for parents taking their kids for the first time.
1. Talk to your kids ahead of time about not touching the walls. It's not just limited to the paintings themselves. The kids aren't allowed to touch the walls in or around the paintings. It's important to discuss with them that if they need to rest, instead of leaning, they can sit on the little sofas and sitting areas provided.
2. Discuss appropriate volume in the museum. It's frowned upon for them to be shouting loudly or even using loud voices. Discuss that there are appropriate places to use a louder voice.
3. Really explore all of the art stations. They are on every floor of the museum and offer great opportunities to let them try out different mediums, explore the content of the floor in a kid friendly environment and use their creativity.
4. Take a break. There is a bridge between buildings. Take a break and have a snack or drink. Let the kids look at the scenery from the bridge and take a moment to be able to move around a bit more freely.
5. If you have the time, explore the city around the museum. Look at the sculptures around the building and just take it all in. Denver has so much to offer.
6. The Denver Art Museum is free for kids 18 and under every single day. Take advantage of it. It's always got amazing exhibits to look at. The Samurai exhibit is coming there as of March 6, 2016.
Overall, I think that this was a great experience and recommend that everyone go at least once.
1. Talk to your kids ahead of time about not touching the walls. It's not just limited to the paintings themselves. The kids aren't allowed to touch the walls in or around the paintings. It's important to discuss with them that if they need to rest, instead of leaning, they can sit on the little sofas and sitting areas provided.
2. Discuss appropriate volume in the museum. It's frowned upon for them to be shouting loudly or even using loud voices. Discuss that there are appropriate places to use a louder voice.
3. Really explore all of the art stations. They are on every floor of the museum and offer great opportunities to let them try out different mediums, explore the content of the floor in a kid friendly environment and use their creativity.
4. Take a break. There is a bridge between buildings. Take a break and have a snack or drink. Let the kids look at the scenery from the bridge and take a moment to be able to move around a bit more freely.
5. If you have the time, explore the city around the museum. Look at the sculptures around the building and just take it all in. Denver has so much to offer.
6. The Denver Art Museum is free for kids 18 and under every single day. Take advantage of it. It's always got amazing exhibits to look at. The Samurai exhibit is coming there as of March 6, 2016.
Overall, I think that this was a great experience and recommend that everyone go at least once.
Friday, February 19, 2016
Oversensitive Ninnies
I just saw a blog post (yesterday) about how we should be careful with our "Dear Mom who..." posts. I read another that talks about being a touchy feely mom that only says nice things. Here's what I agree on: Yes, we SHOULD be kind and encouraging to each other as much as possible. We are all in this together and maybe if we had a hair more compassion for each other, we would all be better off. Yes, we SHOULD remember that everyone we meet is fighting their own battle. Yes we SHOULD be careful with our words.
Now here's the caveat....
There's also a whole lot of people that need to pull the stick out of their ass and remember that it's okay to have a sense of humor. It's okay to be frustrated and to vent. It's okay to have an opinion that is not the same as everyone else. Should you try your best to exercise tact? Of course you should. Should you try to be non-specific regarding names, etc? Of course. That doesn't mean that you should post your blog post and let your freak flag shine. Not everyone will appreciate your sense of humor and that's okay. Not everyone will want to read it and that's okay, too. The fact is that we have a country of oversensitive la-la's that seem to believe that everyone should cater to their feelings all the time.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you don't like something, scroll past. You have the ability to not look! Instead of getting "offended" by everything and expecting the entire world to change because of the "injustice" of you having to look at something you don't like, why don't YOU change and walk away!?! Well what if it hurts my feelings? Well that stinks but I'll bet you'll survive. We have a whole country of people that believe that if they don't want to look at something or if it's not in their belief system, we need to start a movement and change it. It ranges from big issues like breast feeding to small issues like baggy pants. Look, I'm all for breast feeding in public and I think that people that have an issue with it should go pack sand. I support the breast feeders right to feed their child. On the other side of that, I support the right of the people that don't like it to voice their opinion about it. Do I agree with them? Absolutely not. Do they have just as much a right to say how they feel? Yup. It's the same with virtually every other issue. You can say something you like or don't like and it doesn't require anyone around you to conform. If they don't like what you're saying, they are free to stop listening or walk away.
Maybe the issue is not these "Dear Mom who..." posts. Maybe the issue is a nation full of people who are more concerned with whether or not they're offended by a "dear mom" post than what's going on in our government. Perhaps, just perhaps, if people focused less on expecting everyone else to change just because they have their panties in a ruffle over something, we could get along a bit better, understanding that the world is a diverse place and there are bigger fish to fry than whether or not someone agrees with you on a Facebook post. You wanna change the world? Great. Change it by DOING something, not whining. Stop trying to change everyone else and just be the best YOU possible. You'll change more by being kind and compassionate in your own life than on making someone else's humorous/venting post into your personal vendetta.
Now here's the caveat....
There's also a whole lot of people that need to pull the stick out of their ass and remember that it's okay to have a sense of humor. It's okay to be frustrated and to vent. It's okay to have an opinion that is not the same as everyone else. Should you try your best to exercise tact? Of course you should. Should you try to be non-specific regarding names, etc? Of course. That doesn't mean that you should post your blog post and let your freak flag shine. Not everyone will appreciate your sense of humor and that's okay. Not everyone will want to read it and that's okay, too. The fact is that we have a country of oversensitive la-la's that seem to believe that everyone should cater to their feelings all the time.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you don't like something, scroll past. You have the ability to not look! Instead of getting "offended" by everything and expecting the entire world to change because of the "injustice" of you having to look at something you don't like, why don't YOU change and walk away!?! Well what if it hurts my feelings? Well that stinks but I'll bet you'll survive. We have a whole country of people that believe that if they don't want to look at something or if it's not in their belief system, we need to start a movement and change it. It ranges from big issues like breast feeding to small issues like baggy pants. Look, I'm all for breast feeding in public and I think that people that have an issue with it should go pack sand. I support the breast feeders right to feed their child. On the other side of that, I support the right of the people that don't like it to voice their opinion about it. Do I agree with them? Absolutely not. Do they have just as much a right to say how they feel? Yup. It's the same with virtually every other issue. You can say something you like or don't like and it doesn't require anyone around you to conform. If they don't like what you're saying, they are free to stop listening or walk away.
Maybe the issue is not these "Dear Mom who..." posts. Maybe the issue is a nation full of people who are more concerned with whether or not they're offended by a "dear mom" post than what's going on in our government. Perhaps, just perhaps, if people focused less on expecting everyone else to change just because they have their panties in a ruffle over something, we could get along a bit better, understanding that the world is a diverse place and there are bigger fish to fry than whether or not someone agrees with you on a Facebook post. You wanna change the world? Great. Change it by DOING something, not whining. Stop trying to change everyone else and just be the best YOU possible. You'll change more by being kind and compassionate in your own life than on making someone else's humorous/venting post into your personal vendetta.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Be Nice to the Wallflowers
If there is one piece of advice that I believe fathers need to give to their sons, it's this: Be nice to the wallflowers in school. Why? Wallflowers have a lot to offer. They often are observing what's going on around them and aren't interested in getting caught up in the drama, dumb antics and ridiculousness going on around them. It's not that they don't love fun; they just don't love the type of fun that puts them at risk for getting seriously hurt or arrested. Those wallflowers may not seem like a better option than a popular cheerleader right now but wait a few years. A whole lot of those wallflowers will go on to come into their own during or after college. All of the sudden, five years after graduation, you'll run into that wallflower and wish you would have paid attention to her. She will be stunning and confident. She'll be happy and stable in her life. Meanwhile, a good portion of those popular kids will have not achieved nearly as much. Those popular girls are only fun for a little while...but the wallflowers are fun and interesting for life.
Just food for thought.
Just food for thought.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Phrases Frequently Said by Teen Boy Parents
Yesterday, I was discussing with someone the phrases you say with teenage sons in your home. Most of these phrases are used on a daily basis and are phrases that you never thought you'd have to say before you had kids. Here are some of my favorites.....
"Are those clean underwear?"
"What IS that smell?"
"Okay who peed on the seat again?"
"Why is this all sticky?"
"Who farted?"
"Did you put deodorant on?"
"No seriously, you stink? Did you put deodorant on."
"Okay go put deodorant on again...or better yet change your shirt."
"Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell your breath."
"The sofa is not a bean bag chair. Stop plopping onto it. You'll break the springs."
"So you brought the homework home, completed the homework but you didn't turn it in?"
"No you CANNOT go outside when it's 31 degrees in shorts."
"Put your coat on....seriously, it's only 24 degrees."
"How did you get holes in your socks already? You just took them out of the package."
Get used to repeating yourself early and often and prepare yourself for the ride of your life. Teenage boys are a roller coaster but they're awesome.
"Are those clean underwear?"
"What IS that smell?"
"Okay who peed on the seat again?"
"Why is this all sticky?"
"Who farted?"
"Did you put deodorant on?"
"No seriously, you stink? Did you put deodorant on."
"Okay go put deodorant on again...or better yet change your shirt."
"Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell your breath."
"The sofa is not a bean bag chair. Stop plopping onto it. You'll break the springs."
"So you brought the homework home, completed the homework but you didn't turn it in?"
"No you CANNOT go outside when it's 31 degrees in shorts."
"Put your coat on....seriously, it's only 24 degrees."
"How did you get holes in your socks already? You just took them out of the package."
Get used to repeating yourself early and often and prepare yourself for the ride of your life. Teenage boys are a roller coaster but they're awesome.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
This Mom is Sick of Elementary School Girl Drama!
Dear Moms of Elementary Aged Girls,
When your daughter came into this world, you might have been the mom that dressed her in as much pink as possible, hoping it would help her to love all things girly. Maybe you're the mom that put a ball in her hand hoping she'd overcome the boundaries of the "girly girl" title and match every single accomplishment of a boy. Regardless of which path you were on, you probably had very high hopes for your daughter. You want her to take on the world. You want her to be strong and independent and go on to do great things. We all do.
Now that your daughter is in school, you're trying to maintain the delicate balance between being there to help and letting her figuratively spread her wings. You're about to get the wake up call of your life, though. Remember when the "mean girl" syndrome started in junior high? Those days are gone; it now starts young.....very young. You're about to enter a roller coaster that you can not imagine. These girls turn into divas very quickly in their pigtails and Justice clothing. Seriously, they could win Emmy awards.
Now here's the part where I say some things that might make you mad.
Stop teaching your little girls to be bitches. I am all for teaching independence to your daughter. I love the idea of empowering them and helping them to learn to speak up. You can encourage her, though, without teaching her to be a stuck up, mean girl. Stop teaching her to "speak her mind" without explaining that there are appropriate limitations on it. "Speak your mind" isn't an invitation to just be a jerk to everyone around you. "Speak your mind" is about learning to let someone know your ideas, your fears or your complaints. What is ISN'T about would include things like why a classmate's new shirt makes her look stupid or how someone else is ugly because they don't live up to the high standards you've let her think are reality. Teach your daughter to speak her mind in a respectful way, a way that will be helpful to her as she grows up. Teach her to speak up when someone is being treated injustly, not to be the one speaking the injustice.
Stop teaching your daughter to have groupies. Look, a lot of people have friends from a very young age and that's fantastic. That said, you encouraging your daughter to hang out ONLY with those friends is asking for it. Encourage your daughter to be nice to those around her, even if they aren't popular. Teach her to be kind and compassionate. Teach her to include others. Teach her that it's okay to have a core group of friends but that doesn't mean that she should ignore the new girl because she doesn't fit into the core criteria of her little mean girls group.
Stop teaching your daughters to act like teenagers. Yep, that's right, I said it. "Well she was born a teenager, I swear." Great. And you were the one that birthed her and YOU'RE responsible for letting her know that she's too young to act like she's 16. Get ahold of that attitude before it spins out of control. Stop teaching your five year old to dress, act and try to do her hair like some out of control celebrity. Stop teaching her to speak like, walk like and talk like a teenager before she's even hit the double digits. If she's got an older sibling, fine. Explain to her that her older sister does what she does because she's a teenager but that doesn't make your little princess entitled to the same attitude, privileges, etc.
Stop teaching her to use the word "hate" for people. Guess what? Kids don't learn the word "hate" on their own. "Hate" is a learned word. You CAN, in fact, teach kids that "hate" is a word for things and not people (i.e. I hate broccoli. I hate dancing.). Stop teaching your daughters that it's okay to say, "I hate Susie Q" because it's a strong word that invokes even stronger emotions. Get your head out of your ass and stop using that word to describe people in front of her. You're teaching her to create drama amongst her friends when she gets upset with them. Instead of "hate," how about you use your head and say something like, "I'm so aggravated." For a generation that is so convinced that we need to stop bullying, it's sure as hell being invoked every time you teach kids to hate.
And yeah, here's the biggest one.... stop teaching your daughters that they need to be the best at everything. Guess what? That adorable competitive attitude will not only create issues for her daughter as she gets older (if she can't keep up with school work, etc) but it will also make her into a monster. Is there a degree of competition that's healthy? Of course! Is it becoming out of hand when your daughter lets the envy get the best of her and starts putting down, bitching at or treating other girls with disrespect because they're better at something than your little diva? Yup. Too many little girls, now, are being taught that they have to outdo everyone. Holding a firm grasp on the Kardashian creed, they're taught to do whatever you need to do to your body and your integrity to be the most popular, best ever. It seems like the most popular kids keep turning more and more toward the meanest ones because everyone is afraid to stand up for themselves. You don't have to teach your daughter to throw others down in order to step on them to get to the top.
Listen, your daughter is a remarkable being and she's got a million great qualities. Teach her to be proud of her qualities. Teach her to love every part of herself, even if it's different. Teach her to love her imperfections and to own them. Teach her to do the best and to be in competition with no one but herself. Teach her to dress in what SHE likes. Teach her to be kind to everyone. Teach her to stand up for those that are defenseless. Teach her to be strong but to stand up for what's right. Teach her to not worry about popularity but to worry more about being a good person. Not only will it help her to become a better wife down the road but it will also help her to succeed more in life.
Sincerely,
A mom that is sick to death of elementary girl drama!
When your daughter came into this world, you might have been the mom that dressed her in as much pink as possible, hoping it would help her to love all things girly. Maybe you're the mom that put a ball in her hand hoping she'd overcome the boundaries of the "girly girl" title and match every single accomplishment of a boy. Regardless of which path you were on, you probably had very high hopes for your daughter. You want her to take on the world. You want her to be strong and independent and go on to do great things. We all do.
Now that your daughter is in school, you're trying to maintain the delicate balance between being there to help and letting her figuratively spread her wings. You're about to get the wake up call of your life, though. Remember when the "mean girl" syndrome started in junior high? Those days are gone; it now starts young.....very young. You're about to enter a roller coaster that you can not imagine. These girls turn into divas very quickly in their pigtails and Justice clothing. Seriously, they could win Emmy awards.
Now here's the part where I say some things that might make you mad.
Stop teaching your little girls to be bitches. I am all for teaching independence to your daughter. I love the idea of empowering them and helping them to learn to speak up. You can encourage her, though, without teaching her to be a stuck up, mean girl. Stop teaching her to "speak her mind" without explaining that there are appropriate limitations on it. "Speak your mind" isn't an invitation to just be a jerk to everyone around you. "Speak your mind" is about learning to let someone know your ideas, your fears or your complaints. What is ISN'T about would include things like why a classmate's new shirt makes her look stupid or how someone else is ugly because they don't live up to the high standards you've let her think are reality. Teach your daughter to speak her mind in a respectful way, a way that will be helpful to her as she grows up. Teach her to speak up when someone is being treated injustly, not to be the one speaking the injustice.
Stop teaching your daughter to have groupies. Look, a lot of people have friends from a very young age and that's fantastic. That said, you encouraging your daughter to hang out ONLY with those friends is asking for it. Encourage your daughter to be nice to those around her, even if they aren't popular. Teach her to be kind and compassionate. Teach her to include others. Teach her that it's okay to have a core group of friends but that doesn't mean that she should ignore the new girl because she doesn't fit into the core criteria of her little mean girls group.
Stop teaching your daughters to act like teenagers. Yep, that's right, I said it. "Well she was born a teenager, I swear." Great. And you were the one that birthed her and YOU'RE responsible for letting her know that she's too young to act like she's 16. Get ahold of that attitude before it spins out of control. Stop teaching your five year old to dress, act and try to do her hair like some out of control celebrity. Stop teaching her to speak like, walk like and talk like a teenager before she's even hit the double digits. If she's got an older sibling, fine. Explain to her that her older sister does what she does because she's a teenager but that doesn't make your little princess entitled to the same attitude, privileges, etc.
Stop teaching her to use the word "hate" for people. Guess what? Kids don't learn the word "hate" on their own. "Hate" is a learned word. You CAN, in fact, teach kids that "hate" is a word for things and not people (i.e. I hate broccoli. I hate dancing.). Stop teaching your daughters that it's okay to say, "I hate Susie Q" because it's a strong word that invokes even stronger emotions. Get your head out of your ass and stop using that word to describe people in front of her. You're teaching her to create drama amongst her friends when she gets upset with them. Instead of "hate," how about you use your head and say something like, "I'm so aggravated." For a generation that is so convinced that we need to stop bullying, it's sure as hell being invoked every time you teach kids to hate.
And yeah, here's the biggest one.... stop teaching your daughters that they need to be the best at everything. Guess what? That adorable competitive attitude will not only create issues for her daughter as she gets older (if she can't keep up with school work, etc) but it will also make her into a monster. Is there a degree of competition that's healthy? Of course! Is it becoming out of hand when your daughter lets the envy get the best of her and starts putting down, bitching at or treating other girls with disrespect because they're better at something than your little diva? Yup. Too many little girls, now, are being taught that they have to outdo everyone. Holding a firm grasp on the Kardashian creed, they're taught to do whatever you need to do to your body and your integrity to be the most popular, best ever. It seems like the most popular kids keep turning more and more toward the meanest ones because everyone is afraid to stand up for themselves. You don't have to teach your daughter to throw others down in order to step on them to get to the top.
Listen, your daughter is a remarkable being and she's got a million great qualities. Teach her to be proud of her qualities. Teach her to love every part of herself, even if it's different. Teach her to love her imperfections and to own them. Teach her to do the best and to be in competition with no one but herself. Teach her to dress in what SHE likes. Teach her to be kind to everyone. Teach her to stand up for those that are defenseless. Teach her to be strong but to stand up for what's right. Teach her to not worry about popularity but to worry more about being a good person. Not only will it help her to become a better wife down the road but it will also help her to succeed more in life.
Sincerely,
A mom that is sick to death of elementary girl drama!
Monday, February 15, 2016
Happy President's Day
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
This is a quote from President Abraham Lincoln. One of many, many quotes from a man that did so much for our country. Not only is this quote one that inspires and makes you think, but he was one that helped free slaves.
Now let's consider quotes from our current President....hearing crickets yet?
I have to wonder where our hope to inspire has gone. So many of the Presidents of the past were wonderful because they had such strong character. They inspired others to have great character, as well. They were strong. They were powerful but they cared about this country as a whole, not for themselves and their legacy. Instead of being concerned with their own agenda, they took into account what the whole of the American people wanted. Let's not forget that we fought the Revolutionary War to get freedom from tyranny. Tyranny that seems to be presenting itself more and more in our current state of our country.
This is a quote from President Abraham Lincoln. One of many, many quotes from a man that did so much for our country. Not only is this quote one that inspires and makes you think, but he was one that helped free slaves.
Now let's consider quotes from our current President....hearing crickets yet?
I have to wonder where our hope to inspire has gone. So many of the Presidents of the past were wonderful because they had such strong character. They inspired others to have great character, as well. They were strong. They were powerful but they cared about this country as a whole, not for themselves and their legacy. Instead of being concerned with their own agenda, they took into account what the whole of the American people wanted. Let's not forget that we fought the Revolutionary War to get freedom from tyranny. Tyranny that seems to be presenting itself more and more in our current state of our country.
America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
I'll leave this post on that note. Giving up your freedoms is a slippery slope. Giving the government more control doesn't seem like a big problem at first. It's just ONE little thing after all. Guess what, though: one little thing turns into ten, then a hundred, then a thousand. Our Constitution was written to represent a country of many freedoms. Over the years, it has been amended in the correct way, a way that represents our country's true heart. It was not done by executive order or anything else that takes away our freedom.
Just bear that in mind. I don't tell people what to think but tell them TO think....think about what you'd really like from our country and the long term effects of what you vote for now.
Happy President's Day.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
5 Tips to Giving Your Lady a Great Valentine's
Men are convinced that women are complicated. For the most part, I think they might be right. But today, Valentine's Day, let me give you five little pointers on how to please them regardless....
1. Show appreciation. I don't care if it's feigned. Show appreciation. If your wife is a stay at home mom, let her know you appreciate her holding down the fort. If she's a working mom, let her know that you appreciate how hard she kicks butt at work and home. If she's not a mom yet, just let her know how beautiful and wonderful she is to you. However you do it, show her that you appreciate her.
2. Tell her you love her. I know, I know. You probably say it all the time. The fact remains, women love to hear it. They love to be reminded that they're special to you.
3. Tell her she's beautiful. You don't have to use the word "beautiful" but use a word that's specific to how you feel about her as a woman. For some, that might be "sexy" or "gorgeous." Whatever the word is, tell her that she's beautiful.
4. Kiss her. It sounds simple but it's true. Kiss her the way you kissed her for the first time. Let her know that she still makes your heart skip a beat like she did back then.
5. Recognize Valentine's. You don't have to buy something. You don't have to do something crazy but recognize it, even if she says she doesn't want you to. She may roll her eyes. She may half ignore it but she's taking note and she will pay you back in spades.
Have a great Valentine's Day.
1. Show appreciation. I don't care if it's feigned. Show appreciation. If your wife is a stay at home mom, let her know you appreciate her holding down the fort. If she's a working mom, let her know that you appreciate how hard she kicks butt at work and home. If she's not a mom yet, just let her know how beautiful and wonderful she is to you. However you do it, show her that you appreciate her.
2. Tell her you love her. I know, I know. You probably say it all the time. The fact remains, women love to hear it. They love to be reminded that they're special to you.
3. Tell her she's beautiful. You don't have to use the word "beautiful" but use a word that's specific to how you feel about her as a woman. For some, that might be "sexy" or "gorgeous." Whatever the word is, tell her that she's beautiful.
4. Kiss her. It sounds simple but it's true. Kiss her the way you kissed her for the first time. Let her know that she still makes your heart skip a beat like she did back then.
5. Recognize Valentine's. You don't have to buy something. You don't have to do something crazy but recognize it, even if she says she doesn't want you to. She may roll her eyes. She may half ignore it but she's taking note and she will pay you back in spades.
Have a great Valentine's Day.
Cringe Worthy Moments With Your Kids
It's funny how much you grit your teeth watching your kids do normal kid things, or in my case HEARING your kids friends do normal kid things. Last night, my daughter had a sleepover with five of her friends. Now, I want to preface this by saying that her friends are some of the most polite, well behaved sweethearts I know. Yes, they're teenagers. Yes, they get attitudes. Overall, though, they perform well academically, stay out of trouble and have their heads on straight. Well, they have their heads on as straight as a teenager can.
As I was in the other room last night, though, I heard something that made me cringe. I heard the "f word" out of someone's mouth. Now here's the deal: I say this word semi-frequently but I did not use it and don't use it in the presence of my children's friends. That said, I don't feel like swearing in front of them corrupts them. Let's be frank; they hear it all of the time at school or in the real world anyway. I don't necessarily believe that you should teach your kids NOT to use this language. What I DO believe is that there is a lesson that should be taught in appropriate timing of the use of this language. A sleepover, in my opinion, is not an inappropriate time. Therefore, it didn't get corrected. Nonetheless, it made me cringe.
Maybe it's the realization that they're not little girls anymore. Maybe it's the realization that life is rapidly moving along. Maybe it's the realization that the world keeps turning, even if your kids do the normal teenage things. Regardless, it's still a cringe worthy moment. It's the moment that you realize that your child is just like you...and in some ways, it's the moment that you realize they may have to go through the exact same things you did. They may have to struggle. They may have to fall down. The point is that your kid is growing up...and you get to watch the wonderful people they'll become. Just be ready to pick them up when they fall and keep the cringes to a private space.
As I was in the other room last night, though, I heard something that made me cringe. I heard the "f word" out of someone's mouth. Now here's the deal: I say this word semi-frequently but I did not use it and don't use it in the presence of my children's friends. That said, I don't feel like swearing in front of them corrupts them. Let's be frank; they hear it all of the time at school or in the real world anyway. I don't necessarily believe that you should teach your kids NOT to use this language. What I DO believe is that there is a lesson that should be taught in appropriate timing of the use of this language. A sleepover, in my opinion, is not an inappropriate time. Therefore, it didn't get corrected. Nonetheless, it made me cringe.
Maybe it's the realization that they're not little girls anymore. Maybe it's the realization that life is rapidly moving along. Maybe it's the realization that the world keeps turning, even if your kids do the normal teenage things. Regardless, it's still a cringe worthy moment. It's the moment that you realize that your child is just like you...and in some ways, it's the moment that you realize they may have to go through the exact same things you did. They may have to struggle. They may have to fall down. The point is that your kid is growing up...and you get to watch the wonderful people they'll become. Just be ready to pick them up when they fall and keep the cringes to a private space.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Bullying Policies
I went to my conferences for two of my kids last night and got great reports. Brilliant kids. Very sweet and helpful. Great grades. Great understanding of the content. Great ability to problem solve. Absolutely fantastic. It made me proud. That's not what I'm writing about today, though.
During my sixth grade son's conference, his teacher was bragging about how much she loved him because he has such a friendly attitude. She shared with me that a good portion of the kids in the class are not very friendly and have many cliques. She shared that there is one boy, in specific, that they are just awful to. We'll call him "David", just for the sake of giving a name (and it is nowhere NEAR his actual name, just so we're clear). They have created a "David-touch" that is essentially the equivalent of "cooties." They mock him constantly and treat him terribly. But not Daniel. Daniel treats him with kindness. Daniel tries to include him. Daniel will pick him as a partner first because he doesn't want this boy to feel left out.
I felt two things over this: 1-Pride in my son, Daniel, for being such a sweet, compassionate, and kind friend that sees past what others tease over. 2- Complete and utter sadness, but also frustration for this little boy.
Schools have started these zero tolerance bullying policies. They claim that these policies will help prevent children from being ostracized, teased and bullied. The fact is that many of these policies seem to protect the bully more than the victim. More often than that, the bully has a team of cronies that will lie for him or her. The lies, in turn, get the other child into trouble. More than that, some of these kids are victimized simply for the fact that they won't speak out. They're afraid. They're intimidated of the other kids. It's exactly what the bully wants.
I keep hearing from all of these touchy feely people how we've come so far from "the old days." Well, now our kids know how to express emotion. Well, now our kids know how to stand up for themselves. The fact is that things are worse now than ever. All of this touchy feely business is doing the exact opposite. A good portion of these bullies are coming from homes where they're taught to express their emotions. The problem is that they're not being taught how their behavior affects those around them. Example: Child A hits Child B because Child B will not give Child A the toy they want. Child A's parent steps in and asks what happened. Child A explains that they wanted the toy. Child A's parents softly and gently tell them to take turns and be patient. Child B isn't consoled for their victim status, but is instead made to think that Child A's behavior makes them the victim.
You see, unintentionally, we are teaching our kids that the bully is the victim. We pay more attention to the person doing the bad things, thinking that we need to focus our attention on them and "teach" them how to behave correctly. Parents are so concerned with not hurting kids' feelings that they are shirking their responsibility to teach children to be productive members of society. We make it everyone else's responsibility by saying things like, "If you see someone being bullied, tell an adult" and then we tell them not to tattle. We take away their ability to truly help the situation by intervening and saying, "Hey knock it off" because the subsequent altercation would result in THEM getting into trouble.
The other thing we are unintentionally teaching them is to be concerned with what others think. Parents are watching TV, reading magazines and trying to dress like, look like, do their make up like all of these celebrities. We aren't teaching our kids to love themselves where they're at because we're so convinced that we need to feed them constant encouragement for every little thing that we do. Instead of acknowledging that they have weaknesses and quirks, we tell them that they don't need to worry about those things. Then, when they are teased about these weaknesses or quirks, they don't know how to handle it. We aren't teaching them to love themselves. We're teaching them to love only their good qualities. Then we wonder why they don't have the confidence to stand up and say, "Yeah, I have big ears. Your point is?"
The truth is that bullies don't just do it to get a rise out of you anymore. Bullies do it for the reaction from others. They are busy entertaining their friends and, in some cases, social media. It starts younger and younger nowadays and it's terrifying for parents to see it. So what can you do? Well here's my take on some things that you can do.
1. Stop the constant overwhelming praise for every little thing. Teach your child that it's okay to fail and then practice to get better. It's okay to have a physical quirk because that's what makes you unique. Teach them to love that quirk. Teach them to love their weaknesses. Then, no one can make them feel bad about them down the road.
2. Stop giving attention to the bully in the situation. If your child (even as a toddler) is being a bully, acknowledge their behavior and SET THEM ASIDE. Give the attention to the victim and make certain that they know how to deal with the situation in the future. THEN give the bully a talk about what's appropriate. Let the bully AND the victim know that the victim is the one deserving of attention.
3. If you get ANY word that your child is bullying at school, discipline appropriately. My personal suggestion? Find out the number of the child they're bullying and arrange a visit with their family where your child has to APOLOGIZE. Find out what they have in common.
4. Teach your child compassion. Teach them that no one likes to feel left out. More than that, teach them WHAT TO DO if they see someone being left out.
5. Teach your child to not worry about popularity. Teach them that it's not a big deal if Susie Q has Fancy Pants jeans, you need to pick the clothes that make YOU happy. You need to pick the activities that YOU enjoy. When your child learns to embrace who they are, they take away a bully's power.
I truly hope that the children bullying this boy get a true dose of karma coming back to them in the coming years. And then I hope that this boy has an opportunity to be kind to them and show them what a genuinely kind person does because THAT'S what it's all about.
During my sixth grade son's conference, his teacher was bragging about how much she loved him because he has such a friendly attitude. She shared with me that a good portion of the kids in the class are not very friendly and have many cliques. She shared that there is one boy, in specific, that they are just awful to. We'll call him "David", just for the sake of giving a name (and it is nowhere NEAR his actual name, just so we're clear). They have created a "David-touch" that is essentially the equivalent of "cooties." They mock him constantly and treat him terribly. But not Daniel. Daniel treats him with kindness. Daniel tries to include him. Daniel will pick him as a partner first because he doesn't want this boy to feel left out.
I felt two things over this: 1-Pride in my son, Daniel, for being such a sweet, compassionate, and kind friend that sees past what others tease over. 2- Complete and utter sadness, but also frustration for this little boy.
Schools have started these zero tolerance bullying policies. They claim that these policies will help prevent children from being ostracized, teased and bullied. The fact is that many of these policies seem to protect the bully more than the victim. More often than that, the bully has a team of cronies that will lie for him or her. The lies, in turn, get the other child into trouble. More than that, some of these kids are victimized simply for the fact that they won't speak out. They're afraid. They're intimidated of the other kids. It's exactly what the bully wants.
I keep hearing from all of these touchy feely people how we've come so far from "the old days." Well, now our kids know how to express emotion. Well, now our kids know how to stand up for themselves. The fact is that things are worse now than ever. All of this touchy feely business is doing the exact opposite. A good portion of these bullies are coming from homes where they're taught to express their emotions. The problem is that they're not being taught how their behavior affects those around them. Example: Child A hits Child B because Child B will not give Child A the toy they want. Child A's parent steps in and asks what happened. Child A explains that they wanted the toy. Child A's parents softly and gently tell them to take turns and be patient. Child B isn't consoled for their victim status, but is instead made to think that Child A's behavior makes them the victim.
You see, unintentionally, we are teaching our kids that the bully is the victim. We pay more attention to the person doing the bad things, thinking that we need to focus our attention on them and "teach" them how to behave correctly. Parents are so concerned with not hurting kids' feelings that they are shirking their responsibility to teach children to be productive members of society. We make it everyone else's responsibility by saying things like, "If you see someone being bullied, tell an adult" and then we tell them not to tattle. We take away their ability to truly help the situation by intervening and saying, "Hey knock it off" because the subsequent altercation would result in THEM getting into trouble.
The other thing we are unintentionally teaching them is to be concerned with what others think. Parents are watching TV, reading magazines and trying to dress like, look like, do their make up like all of these celebrities. We aren't teaching our kids to love themselves where they're at because we're so convinced that we need to feed them constant encouragement for every little thing that we do. Instead of acknowledging that they have weaknesses and quirks, we tell them that they don't need to worry about those things. Then, when they are teased about these weaknesses or quirks, they don't know how to handle it. We aren't teaching them to love themselves. We're teaching them to love only their good qualities. Then we wonder why they don't have the confidence to stand up and say, "Yeah, I have big ears. Your point is?"
The truth is that bullies don't just do it to get a rise out of you anymore. Bullies do it for the reaction from others. They are busy entertaining their friends and, in some cases, social media. It starts younger and younger nowadays and it's terrifying for parents to see it. So what can you do? Well here's my take on some things that you can do.
1. Stop the constant overwhelming praise for every little thing. Teach your child that it's okay to fail and then practice to get better. It's okay to have a physical quirk because that's what makes you unique. Teach them to love that quirk. Teach them to love their weaknesses. Then, no one can make them feel bad about them down the road.
2. Stop giving attention to the bully in the situation. If your child (even as a toddler) is being a bully, acknowledge their behavior and SET THEM ASIDE. Give the attention to the victim and make certain that they know how to deal with the situation in the future. THEN give the bully a talk about what's appropriate. Let the bully AND the victim know that the victim is the one deserving of attention.
3. If you get ANY word that your child is bullying at school, discipline appropriately. My personal suggestion? Find out the number of the child they're bullying and arrange a visit with their family where your child has to APOLOGIZE. Find out what they have in common.
4. Teach your child compassion. Teach them that no one likes to feel left out. More than that, teach them WHAT TO DO if they see someone being left out.
5. Teach your child to not worry about popularity. Teach them that it's not a big deal if Susie Q has Fancy Pants jeans, you need to pick the clothes that make YOU happy. You need to pick the activities that YOU enjoy. When your child learns to embrace who they are, they take away a bully's power.
I truly hope that the children bullying this boy get a true dose of karma coming back to them in the coming years. And then I hope that this boy has an opportunity to be kind to them and show them what a genuinely kind person does because THAT'S what it's all about.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
To the Dog Owner That Invited Me to Their Dog Party
Dear Dog Owner that sent me an invite for a doggy birthday party:
Okay, I get it. Your dog is your baby. Believe me, I get it. Every time I enter a pet store, shelter, or see an animal of almost any type, I'm smitten. I have been known to sit and talk to the bearded lizards at the pet store because I think they want to come home with me. My frogs were my babies. My cat is my love. I get your "obsession" and I think it's amazing. Our pets are our family, aren't they?
Let's get real for a second, though. You're kind of a dick. You're very judgmental and in people's faces about a whole lot of issues. You're like the snooty granola mom who shames the mom who can't breast feed. While I respect your love for your fur baby, your opinion is not the only one. While I accept and think it's great (for you) that you buy it cute little sweaters so you can dress alike, it's not for everyone. While I love that you're excited about the thousands of Facebook pictures of your precious pup sleeping in different positions and different locations, it's more exciting to you than it is to the rest of us. What I'm trying to point out is that you feel very differently than the rest of us and that's okay. We're made to have different opinions and viewpoints. That brings me to my point, though.
I've seen and heard you, more than once, verbally attack people who have bought purebred animals. I totally understand that that are some really bad breeders out there that run puppy mills and abuse these animals and this DOES need to be stopped. I also know that there are millions of shelter animals worldwide that need homes. What you're seeming to overlook are the breeders that are actually amazing people. They love animals just as much as you do and they treat their animals like little kings and queens. They're more choosy about homes than the average shelter and, most, even require home visits and such. Not all breeders are bad people. In fact, I'd say a good majority are really nice people who are making sure that there IS a safe option. They are animal advocates too, you see.
Your judgmental attitude wears on my nerves because you act as if it is a crime to purchase one of these dogs instead of a shelter dog. To me (since you refer to your babies as your children), it's the equivalent of being judgmental that someone wants to have a biological child as opposed to adopting. Frankly, you're kind of a dick about it and you're judging people that you barely even know. You are, in fact, turning people off to even listening to your opinions simply by the attitude you convey them with. You're attempting to use shame as your tool and it's just not okay. It's not helpful and you're hurting your cause.
So I politely decline your invitation. While I'd love to watch a room full of equally exuberant owners take pictures of their dogs in party hats with your dog, I'm not advocating your bad attitude. When you can take a deep breath and realize that we're all in this together, even if we make different choices, I'll wrap a pretty doggy present with a big red bow and marvel as your precious pooch opens it. Until then, I'll just watch from afar, thankful that your little angel has a great home and owner that loves him....even if they're kind of a dick.
Sincerely,
Me
Okay, I get it. Your dog is your baby. Believe me, I get it. Every time I enter a pet store, shelter, or see an animal of almost any type, I'm smitten. I have been known to sit and talk to the bearded lizards at the pet store because I think they want to come home with me. My frogs were my babies. My cat is my love. I get your "obsession" and I think it's amazing. Our pets are our family, aren't they?
Let's get real for a second, though. You're kind of a dick. You're very judgmental and in people's faces about a whole lot of issues. You're like the snooty granola mom who shames the mom who can't breast feed. While I respect your love for your fur baby, your opinion is not the only one. While I accept and think it's great (for you) that you buy it cute little sweaters so you can dress alike, it's not for everyone. While I love that you're excited about the thousands of Facebook pictures of your precious pup sleeping in different positions and different locations, it's more exciting to you than it is to the rest of us. What I'm trying to point out is that you feel very differently than the rest of us and that's okay. We're made to have different opinions and viewpoints. That brings me to my point, though.
I've seen and heard you, more than once, verbally attack people who have bought purebred animals. I totally understand that that are some really bad breeders out there that run puppy mills and abuse these animals and this DOES need to be stopped. I also know that there are millions of shelter animals worldwide that need homes. What you're seeming to overlook are the breeders that are actually amazing people. They love animals just as much as you do and they treat their animals like little kings and queens. They're more choosy about homes than the average shelter and, most, even require home visits and such. Not all breeders are bad people. In fact, I'd say a good majority are really nice people who are making sure that there IS a safe option. They are animal advocates too, you see.
Your judgmental attitude wears on my nerves because you act as if it is a crime to purchase one of these dogs instead of a shelter dog. To me (since you refer to your babies as your children), it's the equivalent of being judgmental that someone wants to have a biological child as opposed to adopting. Frankly, you're kind of a dick about it and you're judging people that you barely even know. You are, in fact, turning people off to even listening to your opinions simply by the attitude you convey them with. You're attempting to use shame as your tool and it's just not okay. It's not helpful and you're hurting your cause.
So I politely decline your invitation. While I'd love to watch a room full of equally exuberant owners take pictures of their dogs in party hats with your dog, I'm not advocating your bad attitude. When you can take a deep breath and realize that we're all in this together, even if we make different choices, I'll wrap a pretty doggy present with a big red bow and marvel as your precious pooch opens it. Until then, I'll just watch from afar, thankful that your little angel has a great home and owner that loves him....even if they're kind of a dick.
Sincerely,
Me
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Wearing Your Baby
There is a new trend (well, it's much more trendy anyway) to "wear your baby." Essentially you buy a wrap (Moby wraps are popular as are many more) and you just wear your baby around as you go through your daily activities. It can go all the way up through toddlers and, in some cases, preschoolers. It frees up your hands and it's a way to connect with your babies. So where do I stand on this?
It's not what I chose when I had my kids. More than anything, it had to do with uncomfortable wraps and carriers for such big babies on my small frame. It was more painful for me to use a carrier than it was to just go ahead and carry them normally or put them down. I ended up with tendonitis in my elbows from holding them. I also believed in teaching them to self entertain and self soothe so I was inclined to give them a little bit of floor time every day and so on. I only say that to say this:
As with most other things, I think that the studies can be skewed. I don't think your baby will turn out any better connected to people on a social level, smarter, or well adjusted from wearing them. I also don't think they will turn out any less of any of those things. In fact, I think that most of those things depend on your parenting style and the child's individual personality. What I DO think is that it is a very neat and convenient way to be able to be close to your baby and keep your hands free. What I DO think is that it is a great way to bond with your baby. What I DO think is that it's something I probably would have done had there been a wide variety of more comfortable wraps when mine were smaller.
To the baby wearing moms out there, I give you a big thumbs up. I'm always trying to advocate doing whatever you feel is best for your baby. I think this is a fantastic new trend and I love to see moms excited about connecting with their babies in a new way.
To all of the moms of infants, keep your chin up. You're doing great. Being a mom can be a challenge on a daily basis. Pick what works best for you and keep plugging away. It goes by in the blink of an eye but you will look back and know that all of the doubts you had were really just you wanting to do the best for your family. Keep going, kid! You're doing awesome!
It's not what I chose when I had my kids. More than anything, it had to do with uncomfortable wraps and carriers for such big babies on my small frame. It was more painful for me to use a carrier than it was to just go ahead and carry them normally or put them down. I ended up with tendonitis in my elbows from holding them. I also believed in teaching them to self entertain and self soothe so I was inclined to give them a little bit of floor time every day and so on. I only say that to say this:
As with most other things, I think that the studies can be skewed. I don't think your baby will turn out any better connected to people on a social level, smarter, or well adjusted from wearing them. I also don't think they will turn out any less of any of those things. In fact, I think that most of those things depend on your parenting style and the child's individual personality. What I DO think is that it is a very neat and convenient way to be able to be close to your baby and keep your hands free. What I DO think is that it is a great way to bond with your baby. What I DO think is that it's something I probably would have done had there been a wide variety of more comfortable wraps when mine were smaller.
To the baby wearing moms out there, I give you a big thumbs up. I'm always trying to advocate doing whatever you feel is best for your baby. I think this is a fantastic new trend and I love to see moms excited about connecting with their babies in a new way.
To all of the moms of infants, keep your chin up. You're doing great. Being a mom can be a challenge on a daily basis. Pick what works best for you and keep plugging away. It goes by in the blink of an eye but you will look back and know that all of the doubts you had were really just you wanting to do the best for your family. Keep going, kid! You're doing awesome!
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Cam's "Real Reason"
Okay I promise last football post for a few days (I really don't promise but I'll try). ESPN is now sucking the teet, once again, of Cam Newton blaming the fact that Chris Harris's interview could be loudly heard from where Cam was sitting. Supposedly THAT is why he left the stage. I want to preface by saying the following: Cam had an incredible season. He made use of that incredible season by excessively celebrating every single win, dabbing and acting all kinds of exciteable. That's awesome. He taunted all the way up to the game saying, "If you don't want me to dab, do something about it." I am NOT downplaying his character because he does a lot of charity work and I'm sure he's got a huge heart. Now on to the real subject....
Regardless of his huge heart, Cam handled that press conference like a spoiled child. He taunted the Broncos players (and, yes, I know they were all taunting each other before the game). They answered with incredible defense. Was he disappointed? Of course. Like every other losing QB before him. Is it kind of sucky that he could hear Chris Harris being interviewed, wicked excited, behind him? Yes, the placement is unfortunate. Does it give him an excuse to walk out? No, no it doesn't. He acted like a poor sport. He wasn't being asked any questions that other QBs were asked when they lost. He wasn't dealing with anything that other QBs didn't deal with except he could hear the other teams interview. Poor baby. Sorry, not sorry. He was a poor sport. You can't dab and make a scene when you win and then turn around and get butt hurt later on.
As for the comparison to Manning walking off the field without congratulating Brees in 2010, he was in extreme pain and LATER CALLED BREES PERSONALLY AND APOLOGIZED. I'll say that again. He didn't defend his actions. He called Brees who calls him a "class act" and did, even after the incident. Let's ask many of those at the Superbowl from fans to other players if Cam behaved like a "class act" at any point during the game. Yes, he did walk up and congratulate Peyton. I'll give him that. Then he stormed off out of a press conference. Sportsmanship is defined by being gracious whether winning or losing. He was far from gracious.
And finally, in the commenting that it is a racially charged incident, you're out of your damn mind. People would behave the same way toward a QB that dabbed and acted a fool all season when he won and then turned around and threw a tantrum when he lost, regardless of race. The NFL did not rig the game. They can't rig fumbles. They can't rig all of the nonsense stuff that happened when the Panthers were just shocked by the Broncos defense. The refs were not calling the game unfairly. People are full of excuses for a man that did not act with any sort of respect for the league in which he plays. Cam has a lot to be proud of but this conference was not one of those things. Period.
Regardless of his huge heart, Cam handled that press conference like a spoiled child. He taunted the Broncos players (and, yes, I know they were all taunting each other before the game). They answered with incredible defense. Was he disappointed? Of course. Like every other losing QB before him. Is it kind of sucky that he could hear Chris Harris being interviewed, wicked excited, behind him? Yes, the placement is unfortunate. Does it give him an excuse to walk out? No, no it doesn't. He acted like a poor sport. He wasn't being asked any questions that other QBs were asked when they lost. He wasn't dealing with anything that other QBs didn't deal with except he could hear the other teams interview. Poor baby. Sorry, not sorry. He was a poor sport. You can't dab and make a scene when you win and then turn around and get butt hurt later on.
As for the comparison to Manning walking off the field without congratulating Brees in 2010, he was in extreme pain and LATER CALLED BREES PERSONALLY AND APOLOGIZED. I'll say that again. He didn't defend his actions. He called Brees who calls him a "class act" and did, even after the incident. Let's ask many of those at the Superbowl from fans to other players if Cam behaved like a "class act" at any point during the game. Yes, he did walk up and congratulate Peyton. I'll give him that. Then he stormed off out of a press conference. Sportsmanship is defined by being gracious whether winning or losing. He was far from gracious.
And finally, in the commenting that it is a racially charged incident, you're out of your damn mind. People would behave the same way toward a QB that dabbed and acted a fool all season when he won and then turned around and threw a tantrum when he lost, regardless of race. The NFL did not rig the game. They can't rig fumbles. They can't rig all of the nonsense stuff that happened when the Panthers were just shocked by the Broncos defense. The refs were not calling the game unfairly. People are full of excuses for a man that did not act with any sort of respect for the league in which he plays. Cam has a lot to be proud of but this conference was not one of those things. Period.
Monday, February 8, 2016
Watching Football is Not Unpatriotic
Okay tiny rant this morning. I am the first one to read political posts from both sides. I have very strong opinions about the state of this country and about who I like and don't like as political candidates. I read it. I comment on it. I take it all in.
Yesterday there was a meme going around basically saying that people that get excited about football are blowing off the state of our country. Somehow if we get excited about the Super Bowl, we are not good Americans and we are too obsessed to care. This is just simply not true.
Are dedicated football fans excited over the Super Bowl? Yes. Do we spend our Sundays all football season glued to the TV? Yes. Do we talk about it and play fantasy football? Yes. Does that mean that we are not aware of, focused on and in tune with what is going on during the game? Absolutely not.
Of course I wish people would get as excited over politics as they do over the Super Bowl. Of course I do. Here's the thing: we haven't given them a whole lot to be excited about right now. We have given them a whole lot of bullshit candidates who are the same ol same ol for this country. America is feeling defeated. America is feeling like there's nothing they can do.
If you want people to get excited about politics, give them something to get excited about. Give them hope. Give them specifics on how you're going to fix the state of this country. Don't make empty promises. Don't promise everything for free (not telling them that their taxes will ultimately pay for it anyway). Don't give them the same speeches they've been hearing for decades. Give it to them straight. How are you going to fix things?
Fans watch the NFL because it gives them something to get excited about. Don't judge people for getting excited about football. Use the reasoning behind why they get excited to think of ways to get them involved in this country. NFL fans aren't automatically unpatriotic. In fact, some of us are the most patriotic on the planet.
If you want the same turnouts as the Superbowl at political rallies, how about you give them someone to cheer for? In the meantime, stop being a judgmental ass.
Yesterday there was a meme going around basically saying that people that get excited about football are blowing off the state of our country. Somehow if we get excited about the Super Bowl, we are not good Americans and we are too obsessed to care. This is just simply not true.
Are dedicated football fans excited over the Super Bowl? Yes. Do we spend our Sundays all football season glued to the TV? Yes. Do we talk about it and play fantasy football? Yes. Does that mean that we are not aware of, focused on and in tune with what is going on during the game? Absolutely not.
Of course I wish people would get as excited over politics as they do over the Super Bowl. Of course I do. Here's the thing: we haven't given them a whole lot to be excited about right now. We have given them a whole lot of bullshit candidates who are the same ol same ol for this country. America is feeling defeated. America is feeling like there's nothing they can do.
If you want people to get excited about politics, give them something to get excited about. Give them hope. Give them specifics on how you're going to fix the state of this country. Don't make empty promises. Don't promise everything for free (not telling them that their taxes will ultimately pay for it anyway). Don't give them the same speeches they've been hearing for decades. Give it to them straight. How are you going to fix things?
Fans watch the NFL because it gives them something to get excited about. Don't judge people for getting excited about football. Use the reasoning behind why they get excited to think of ways to get them involved in this country. NFL fans aren't automatically unpatriotic. In fact, some of us are the most patriotic on the planet.
If you want the same turnouts as the Superbowl at political rallies, how about you give them someone to cheer for? In the meantime, stop being a judgmental ass.
Cam Newton's Post Game Press Conference
The Broncos vs Panthers game was an incredible game. All we (Broncos fans) heard before the game was how we were going to get killed. My only response to every person was "Defense wins championships." Yesterday's game absolutely stood by that. Our defense has been outstanding all season long and they killed it yesterday. The best part of all of this was that our team, overall, behaved with dignity and respect for each other. Peyton didn't stand on the stage and take all the credit or mock the other team. Von Miller (the winner of the MVP award) didn't stand on the stage and mock the Panthers or try to hog the credit. Our team played like a team and won like a team.
Then there's Cam Newton.
There are a whole lot of quarterbacks that, although I hate having to play them, I respect them as individuals. I want to preface the following by saying that I know all of the work Cam does for kids and how he donates a lot of his time and such. However, that, alone, does not a great quarterback make. Here's my little nugget of opinion:
Cam Newton's behavior during games and press conferences has been nothing short of a showoff. When he was winning, he did everything he could to draw attention to himself. Everything we tell our kids not to do, he did. He mocked the other team. He took the credit. He acted like he was above everything. That was during the regular and most of the post season.
Cam Newton's behavior went above and beyond being a poor sport over the two week's leading up to the Super Bowl and, more than that, in his post game press conference. His "no one has ever seen anyone like me" summed up how he views things. He made comments that would have been labeled racist by any other quarterback. He defended those comments. Then there's his post game press conference. One word answers, and then basically a temper tantrum before running off. It was absolutely unbelievable. If I was a Panthers fan, I would have been embarrassed of his behavior.
Again, everything we teach our kids, he did the opposite of. Do I understand he was disappointed? Of course. Do I understand that he hadn't expected that outcome? Of course. The fact is that we teach our kids to be humble losers, not sore losers. He is paid a whole lot of money to do these press conferences and, unfortunately, not every single one can be a win. His behavior was completely uncalled for and I am ashamed that he is considered the face of the NFL right now. Absolutely ashamed. My only hope is that he comes out, apologizes, completes a REAL press conference and shows all of these kids what he should have done to begin with.
To all of the true Panthers fans, you guys have nothing to be ashamed of. You guys had an incredible season. To all the bandwagon Panthers fans, be careful jumping off. To all of the kids who had to watch their QB act a fool, please don't follow his example. Be classy. Be better than that.
Go Broncos #orangekrytonite
Then there's Cam Newton.
There are a whole lot of quarterbacks that, although I hate having to play them, I respect them as individuals. I want to preface the following by saying that I know all of the work Cam does for kids and how he donates a lot of his time and such. However, that, alone, does not a great quarterback make. Here's my little nugget of opinion:
Cam Newton's behavior during games and press conferences has been nothing short of a showoff. When he was winning, he did everything he could to draw attention to himself. Everything we tell our kids not to do, he did. He mocked the other team. He took the credit. He acted like he was above everything. That was during the regular and most of the post season.
Cam Newton's behavior went above and beyond being a poor sport over the two week's leading up to the Super Bowl and, more than that, in his post game press conference. His "no one has ever seen anyone like me" summed up how he views things. He made comments that would have been labeled racist by any other quarterback. He defended those comments. Then there's his post game press conference. One word answers, and then basically a temper tantrum before running off. It was absolutely unbelievable. If I was a Panthers fan, I would have been embarrassed of his behavior.
Again, everything we teach our kids, he did the opposite of. Do I understand he was disappointed? Of course. Do I understand that he hadn't expected that outcome? Of course. The fact is that we teach our kids to be humble losers, not sore losers. He is paid a whole lot of money to do these press conferences and, unfortunately, not every single one can be a win. His behavior was completely uncalled for and I am ashamed that he is considered the face of the NFL right now. Absolutely ashamed. My only hope is that he comes out, apologizes, completes a REAL press conference and shows all of these kids what he should have done to begin with.
To all of the true Panthers fans, you guys have nothing to be ashamed of. You guys had an incredible season. To all the bandwagon Panthers fans, be careful jumping off. To all of the kids who had to watch their QB act a fool, please don't follow his example. Be classy. Be better than that.
Go Broncos #orangekrytonite
Saturday, February 6, 2016
To the Mom of the Toddler Throwing a Fit in the Store
To the parent of the toddler who is laying on the ground throwing a tantrum in the store,
I feel for you. My kids were all born very close together and I know the reality of tantrums. I've worked with kids for a number of years (outside of my home) and I know the overwhelming feeling of a child out of control enough to lay on the floor and scream. It is a special reality having been through a toddler with Sensory Processing Disorder. Sometimes it can be the smallest thing that sets them off and the cycling is terrifying for both of you. I feel for you. I understand and I know that fatigued face all too well.
Here's the thing....
Leaving them there on the floor as you step over them isn't good for anyone. I know you think that stepping over them will cause them to look around and realize they don't have an audience and maybe that works at home but it doesn't work in the middle of the supermarket. 99% of tantrums have nothing to do with a child being "spoiled." Most tantrums are actually due to the fact that the child is overwhelmed. Maybe he has been run all morning and expected to "just sit still." Maybe he didn't get enough sleep and is over tired. Maybe he's sensitive to noise or crowds. Maybe he just needs some "mom time" and the store just isn't the place. There could be a million causes. Regardless, stepping over them is not a solution. I don't care how inconvenient it is for you to drive your cart to the front and ask them to hold it for a few minutes. I don't care how inconvenient or embarrassing it is for you to pick them up and talk to them. You need to remove them from the situation. Here's why....
Not only are you continuing to overwhelm your child by having them scream in a supermarket aisle but you are also giving them an audience. Now (as I mentioned), most tantrums have little to do with an audience. That does not mean that you will not have comments from onlookers. These comments will often be hurtful. You can pretend like you don't care but you know that you see the looks and hear the comments. You know that it stings. Now imagine how that feels as a child. Imagine feeling completely overwhelmed and not only having your parent ignore your pleas but also having onlookers call you spoiled and stare at you. Can you imagine how you'd feel at your most overwhelming moment if you had people staring at you like a creature at the zoo?
Believe me, I'm not a super touchy feely parent. I DO believe in discipline. I DO believe in raising your kids with respect for others and manners. What I don't believe in is forcing everyone involved to sit through a toddler's tantrum because you "don't have time to shop later on." You can wait ten minutes. You can park that cart in customer service, take your child outside or to the restroom or to a quiet place in the store and allow them a moment to decontaminate so you can talk to them. It's not about the other customers in this case. It's about your child.
My final thought on this is to consider future planning on trips out. If you're going during nap time or leading up to nap time or after they've been told to just sit down all morning, you're asking for a meltdown. I understand that sometimes there is not a choice but, as often as possible, prevention is half the battle. Keep your chin up. You're doing great.
Sincerely,
Me
P.S. If you're reading this and you have an 8 year old that does this in the store because they aren't getting the toy they asked for, go ahead and reread the criteria. There is a difference between an overwhelmed toddler and a child that has been allowed to believe that every trip to the store means a present for them. Your 8 year old is being an entitled brat and needs to be taken outside for a whole different reason. Sorry, not sorry.
I feel for you. My kids were all born very close together and I know the reality of tantrums. I've worked with kids for a number of years (outside of my home) and I know the overwhelming feeling of a child out of control enough to lay on the floor and scream. It is a special reality having been through a toddler with Sensory Processing Disorder. Sometimes it can be the smallest thing that sets them off and the cycling is terrifying for both of you. I feel for you. I understand and I know that fatigued face all too well.
Here's the thing....
Leaving them there on the floor as you step over them isn't good for anyone. I know you think that stepping over them will cause them to look around and realize they don't have an audience and maybe that works at home but it doesn't work in the middle of the supermarket. 99% of tantrums have nothing to do with a child being "spoiled." Most tantrums are actually due to the fact that the child is overwhelmed. Maybe he has been run all morning and expected to "just sit still." Maybe he didn't get enough sleep and is over tired. Maybe he's sensitive to noise or crowds. Maybe he just needs some "mom time" and the store just isn't the place. There could be a million causes. Regardless, stepping over them is not a solution. I don't care how inconvenient it is for you to drive your cart to the front and ask them to hold it for a few minutes. I don't care how inconvenient or embarrassing it is for you to pick them up and talk to them. You need to remove them from the situation. Here's why....
Not only are you continuing to overwhelm your child by having them scream in a supermarket aisle but you are also giving them an audience. Now (as I mentioned), most tantrums have little to do with an audience. That does not mean that you will not have comments from onlookers. These comments will often be hurtful. You can pretend like you don't care but you know that you see the looks and hear the comments. You know that it stings. Now imagine how that feels as a child. Imagine feeling completely overwhelmed and not only having your parent ignore your pleas but also having onlookers call you spoiled and stare at you. Can you imagine how you'd feel at your most overwhelming moment if you had people staring at you like a creature at the zoo?
Believe me, I'm not a super touchy feely parent. I DO believe in discipline. I DO believe in raising your kids with respect for others and manners. What I don't believe in is forcing everyone involved to sit through a toddler's tantrum because you "don't have time to shop later on." You can wait ten minutes. You can park that cart in customer service, take your child outside or to the restroom or to a quiet place in the store and allow them a moment to decontaminate so you can talk to them. It's not about the other customers in this case. It's about your child.
My final thought on this is to consider future planning on trips out. If you're going during nap time or leading up to nap time or after they've been told to just sit down all morning, you're asking for a meltdown. I understand that sometimes there is not a choice but, as often as possible, prevention is half the battle. Keep your chin up. You're doing great.
Sincerely,
Me
P.S. If you're reading this and you have an 8 year old that does this in the store because they aren't getting the toy they asked for, go ahead and reread the criteria. There is a difference between an overwhelmed toddler and a child that has been allowed to believe that every trip to the store means a present for them. Your 8 year old is being an entitled brat and needs to be taken outside for a whole different reason. Sorry, not sorry.
Friday, February 5, 2016
What to Expect with a Teenage Boy
1. Dirty socks.....everywhere. As far as I can tell, this doesn't ever really change. They hate socks and they will take them off just about anywhere. The hard part is that once they remove the socks, they lose their ability to walk and, thus, can't put them in the hamper.
2. Flatulence. In case you're unaware that's a nice word for a "fart." Expect these early and often. Expect them to be AWFUL!
3. Wrestling and Horseplay. Constantly.....like seriously constantly.
4. Lack of common sense. The way I phrased it, "It's like he set his brain down before summer break and never picked it back up." The rush of testosterone overtakes them and their ability to use basic common sense goes right down the poop shoot.
5. Burping contests. This sort of goes hand in hand with farts. When they and their friends get together, it sounds like the bubble room scene in the original Willy Wonka movie.
6. Smart mouth. I know. It stinks. You get past the tantrums and the "no" phase of toddlerhood and you think you're done. Not....even......close
7. The appetite of an elephant. Seriously, these kids can put it away.
8. Smelly, smelly feet. I don't know how it happens but I'm assuming the additional sweat and hormones. Realistically it's not just feet.
9. Turning a blind eye. Masturbation starts young and you sometimes just have to turn a blind eye to it. Don't embarrass them.
10. Unpredicability. Man alive, they surprise you constantly. It's crazy. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it makes your eyeballs bleed, but they never fail to surprise you.
2. Flatulence. In case you're unaware that's a nice word for a "fart." Expect these early and often. Expect them to be AWFUL!
3. Wrestling and Horseplay. Constantly.....like seriously constantly.
4. Lack of common sense. The way I phrased it, "It's like he set his brain down before summer break and never picked it back up." The rush of testosterone overtakes them and their ability to use basic common sense goes right down the poop shoot.
5. Burping contests. This sort of goes hand in hand with farts. When they and their friends get together, it sounds like the bubble room scene in the original Willy Wonka movie.
6. Smart mouth. I know. It stinks. You get past the tantrums and the "no" phase of toddlerhood and you think you're done. Not....even......close
7. The appetite of an elephant. Seriously, these kids can put it away.
8. Smelly, smelly feet. I don't know how it happens but I'm assuming the additional sweat and hormones. Realistically it's not just feet.
9. Turning a blind eye. Masturbation starts young and you sometimes just have to turn a blind eye to it. Don't embarrass them.
10. Unpredicability. Man alive, they surprise you constantly. It's crazy. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it makes your eyeballs bleed, but they never fail to surprise you.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
20 Things Kids Need to Know Before They Move Out
I've seen a number of lists of what a kid should know before they move out. However, some of them seem to omit what I consider to be important things to know, as well. Before I reveal the list, I want to preface with the following: Scientific evidence shows that a person's brain isn't fully developed until their mid 20s. Basically, the ability to see the long term effects of their decisions doesn't develop fully until late in life. This, I believe, is why so many families lived all in one home or on one property so many years ago. Though I believe that kids should know these things (on the list) before they move out, I don't think that knowing these things will make them able to hyper-develop their brains and be able to make good choices. The most important thing, in my opinion, is to teach your children to be strong and independent. I don't think that you should rely on the schools to teach them everything, but instead, teach them to know that they can come to you as they practice what you taught them.
THINGS THAT KIDS SHOULD KNOW BEFORE THEY MOVE OUT.
1. How to change a tire. Now there's a caveat here: if you have your tires professionally installed, the lugnuts are tightened on mechanically which makes them harder to get off. Practice with your kids in the driveway on how to use the jack, get the lugnuts off (even if it's hard), and put on a spare tire. Do it a hundred times if you need to, until they're confident enough to do it on their own. Then, if they're stranded by the road with no cell signal, they can take care of it themselves. Additional plus, teach them to monitor the air in their tires to help with gas mileage, etc
2. How to check the fluids on their car. This goes hand in hand with one other thing: teach them to pay attention to their car and not ignore the lights. The frightening amount of people that have no clue how to even put windshield wiper fluid into their car is surreal. Teach them how to check the oil and what healthy oil looks like vs oil that needs to be changed. Even if you don't teach them how to change the oil (which I believe you should try to do), teach them what to look for.
3. How to balance a checking account AND how to save money. Show them how to balance a checking account so that using the online services provided are simply to double check your numbers. It also helps them to know where every dollar of their money is going and helps them to budget on their own.
4. How to apply for jobs, apartments, etc. Teach them how to organize and fill out the information they need for a job, apartment, loan, etc. Don't fill out the form for them. Help them to know how to keep the information ready so it's there as needed.
5. Write a resume. This one is a challenging one in the age of technology. Teach them how to make their resume stand out. Teach them how to perform tasks that will help their resume.
6. Things to say/not to say during a job interview. Teach them about appropriate things to discuss. Teach them that jobs are not designed for socialization and that they need to speak to their interviewer in an appropriate manner.
7. How to handle dishes. Note that I didn't say how to load a dishwasher. They should also know how to hand wash. They should know how to do basic maintenance (cleaning the trap, etc) on the dishwasher to keep it running well. They should know that certain items don't work as well if they're run through the dishwasher all of the time. They should know that you can't put dish soap, etc into a dishwasher (you'd be surprised how many people DON'T know this).
8. How to handle laundry. They need to know how to separate laundry and what to wash it on. They also need to know how to go to the dry cleaner and what to request. Though that seems unimportant, it's a very overwhelming experience for a teen to go to the dry cleaner and have no idea what to say.
9. How to protect themselves and pay attention to their surroundings. If you don't want to invest in self defense, teach them to protect themselves in other ways. Teach them to pay attention to their surroundings and be aware of what threats may be there. Prevention is half the battle.
10. How to sew a button, make a small clothing repair, etc. I'm not suggesting you teach them how to make a quilt but teach them how to do basic clothing maintenance. Teach them to sew a button correctly. Teach them how to fix a small tear in their clothes.
11. How to use basic tools. Teach them the basics on how to use a hammer, wrench, socket set, screwdriver, etc. Teach them how to do basic repairs.
12. How to plunge a toilet. I know, I know...it sounds common sense. It's not. Teach them how to plunge a toilet so they don't call you in a panic as their toilet overflows. As a bonus, teach them how to check the tank of the toilet if the flushing handle isn't working to see if the flap is stuck, etc.
13. How to clean hair out of a drain. Particularly important for girls (but also for boys that will be getting married someday), teach them how to use one of the zip tools. Cheap, easy and minimally disgusting.
14. How to schedule an appointment. Again, it sounds common sense but there are a whole lot of people confused or intimidated by the process. Teach them what appointments they will need regularly.
15. How to and the importance of basic cleaning. Teach them the importance of dusting vs allergies, vacuuming vs allergies and carpet maintenance, cleaning well, getting in corners and under things to avoid varmits, etc.
In addition, here are some other things I believe you should teach your kids before they go out into the world....
1. Not everyone will agree with you. In fact, many will disagree. Teach them to respect others opinions and be able to discuss things in a civil manner instead of attacking people and trying to force your opinion on them. Just because they think differently doesn't mean they're wrong. This, not only, helps with the compassion factor but it also helps with relationships of all kinds down the road.
2. Respect and listen to those older than you. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with or even do exactly what they give for advice but listen to what they have to say. They've lived longer and, often, just want to protect you from making the same mistakes. Respect them. Listen to them.
3. You aren't in competition with anyone else. Don't try to keep up with the neighbors because their new TV might have put them into debt. Their new car might be what they are doing right before they claim bankruptcy. The point is that if you focus on yourself and your finances, you will go much further than worrying about having the newest and biggest.
4. You are not entitled to special treatment. I'll say that again....you are not entitled to special treatment. I don't care if you went to college for four years or you went straight from high school into the job force. You are not entitled to special treatment. Everyone starts at the bottom and, frankly, it will teach you to appreciate what you earn so much more. You are not entitled to people giving you special treatment.
5. Treat everyone with dignity. Treat the trash man with the same level of respect that you treat the CEO of a major company. Respect and dignity say more about you than you can imagine.
THINGS THAT KIDS SHOULD KNOW BEFORE THEY MOVE OUT.
1. How to change a tire. Now there's a caveat here: if you have your tires professionally installed, the lugnuts are tightened on mechanically which makes them harder to get off. Practice with your kids in the driveway on how to use the jack, get the lugnuts off (even if it's hard), and put on a spare tire. Do it a hundred times if you need to, until they're confident enough to do it on their own. Then, if they're stranded by the road with no cell signal, they can take care of it themselves. Additional plus, teach them to monitor the air in their tires to help with gas mileage, etc
2. How to check the fluids on their car. This goes hand in hand with one other thing: teach them to pay attention to their car and not ignore the lights. The frightening amount of people that have no clue how to even put windshield wiper fluid into their car is surreal. Teach them how to check the oil and what healthy oil looks like vs oil that needs to be changed. Even if you don't teach them how to change the oil (which I believe you should try to do), teach them what to look for.
3. How to balance a checking account AND how to save money. Show them how to balance a checking account so that using the online services provided are simply to double check your numbers. It also helps them to know where every dollar of their money is going and helps them to budget on their own.
4. How to apply for jobs, apartments, etc. Teach them how to organize and fill out the information they need for a job, apartment, loan, etc. Don't fill out the form for them. Help them to know how to keep the information ready so it's there as needed.
5. Write a resume. This one is a challenging one in the age of technology. Teach them how to make their resume stand out. Teach them how to perform tasks that will help their resume.
6. Things to say/not to say during a job interview. Teach them about appropriate things to discuss. Teach them that jobs are not designed for socialization and that they need to speak to their interviewer in an appropriate manner.
7. How to handle dishes. Note that I didn't say how to load a dishwasher. They should also know how to hand wash. They should know how to do basic maintenance (cleaning the trap, etc) on the dishwasher to keep it running well. They should know that certain items don't work as well if they're run through the dishwasher all of the time. They should know that you can't put dish soap, etc into a dishwasher (you'd be surprised how many people DON'T know this).
8. How to handle laundry. They need to know how to separate laundry and what to wash it on. They also need to know how to go to the dry cleaner and what to request. Though that seems unimportant, it's a very overwhelming experience for a teen to go to the dry cleaner and have no idea what to say.
9. How to protect themselves and pay attention to their surroundings. If you don't want to invest in self defense, teach them to protect themselves in other ways. Teach them to pay attention to their surroundings and be aware of what threats may be there. Prevention is half the battle.
10. How to sew a button, make a small clothing repair, etc. I'm not suggesting you teach them how to make a quilt but teach them how to do basic clothing maintenance. Teach them to sew a button correctly. Teach them how to fix a small tear in their clothes.
11. How to use basic tools. Teach them the basics on how to use a hammer, wrench, socket set, screwdriver, etc. Teach them how to do basic repairs.
12. How to plunge a toilet. I know, I know...it sounds common sense. It's not. Teach them how to plunge a toilet so they don't call you in a panic as their toilet overflows. As a bonus, teach them how to check the tank of the toilet if the flushing handle isn't working to see if the flap is stuck, etc.
13. How to clean hair out of a drain. Particularly important for girls (but also for boys that will be getting married someday), teach them how to use one of the zip tools. Cheap, easy and minimally disgusting.
14. How to schedule an appointment. Again, it sounds common sense but there are a whole lot of people confused or intimidated by the process. Teach them what appointments they will need regularly.
15. How to and the importance of basic cleaning. Teach them the importance of dusting vs allergies, vacuuming vs allergies and carpet maintenance, cleaning well, getting in corners and under things to avoid varmits, etc.
In addition, here are some other things I believe you should teach your kids before they go out into the world....
1. Not everyone will agree with you. In fact, many will disagree. Teach them to respect others opinions and be able to discuss things in a civil manner instead of attacking people and trying to force your opinion on them. Just because they think differently doesn't mean they're wrong. This, not only, helps with the compassion factor but it also helps with relationships of all kinds down the road.
2. Respect and listen to those older than you. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with or even do exactly what they give for advice but listen to what they have to say. They've lived longer and, often, just want to protect you from making the same mistakes. Respect them. Listen to them.
3. You aren't in competition with anyone else. Don't try to keep up with the neighbors because their new TV might have put them into debt. Their new car might be what they are doing right before they claim bankruptcy. The point is that if you focus on yourself and your finances, you will go much further than worrying about having the newest and biggest.
4. You are not entitled to special treatment. I'll say that again....you are not entitled to special treatment. I don't care if you went to college for four years or you went straight from high school into the job force. You are not entitled to special treatment. Everyone starts at the bottom and, frankly, it will teach you to appreciate what you earn so much more. You are not entitled to people giving you special treatment.
5. Treat everyone with dignity. Treat the trash man with the same level of respect that you treat the CEO of a major company. Respect and dignity say more about you than you can imagine.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Hot Breakfast With the Crazies
When I was talking to someone, recently, and mentioned that I get up with my kids in the morning and eat breakfast with them, I was greeted with a rather annoyed response. "Well, they're old enough to make their own breakfast. Why don't you sleep in instead?" Because I get this response more often than I'd like, I decided to dedicate a post to the balancing act parents deal with when their kids are a bit older.
In my opinion, the main "beef" with parents that get up with their kids is the idea that we're babying them. Oh believe me, not in the least. I definitely DO get up with them. I provide them food and sometimes I cook it for them. However, more often than not, they make their own oatmeal, cereal, waffles, biscuits, muffins or whatever else happens to be on the menu for the day. For me, it's not about the idea that I need to "do" for them. It's about the idea that I need to spent that time with them. Maybe they'll talk up a storm. Maybe they'll grumble and stare blankly. The fact is that they get to know that Mom is available to talk. It's a great idea to spend that time reconnecting with them and talk about what's coming up. It's not about babying them at all.
Another complaint about this seems to be that kids need to learn to be independent. I totally agree with this. Could they wake up on their own? Absolutely. Do I want them to wake their siblings with their alarm clocks as they incessantly hit snooze? No. My four are very independent all of the time and it's not less prevalent in the morning. They get themselves ready and out the door without a million reminders. They are independent enough to do their homework and chores in the afternoon without a million reminders. Are they kids? Yes. Do they slack sometimes? Of course. However, I know a whole lot of adults that slack significantly more than my crazies.
The last issue that seems to be presented is that it's "spoiling" a kid to provide them with a warm breakfast every single morning. There are two answers to this. 1-It's not a hot breakfast every single morning. Sometimes we do cereal 2- A good breakfast is scientifically proven to help their brains focus and improve their performance at school. It's a great habit to get into. The same people that are convinced that it's spoiling them to provide them warm breakfast are often those that believe their little demon spawns are sweet little angels.
A morning routine with your kids is not for everyone. If your family functions better without it, fantastic. However, remember that starting good habits at a young age is the best way to provide a great chance at having great options as an adult.
In my opinion, the main "beef" with parents that get up with their kids is the idea that we're babying them. Oh believe me, not in the least. I definitely DO get up with them. I provide them food and sometimes I cook it for them. However, more often than not, they make their own oatmeal, cereal, waffles, biscuits, muffins or whatever else happens to be on the menu for the day. For me, it's not about the idea that I need to "do" for them. It's about the idea that I need to spent that time with them. Maybe they'll talk up a storm. Maybe they'll grumble and stare blankly. The fact is that they get to know that Mom is available to talk. It's a great idea to spend that time reconnecting with them and talk about what's coming up. It's not about babying them at all.
Another complaint about this seems to be that kids need to learn to be independent. I totally agree with this. Could they wake up on their own? Absolutely. Do I want them to wake their siblings with their alarm clocks as they incessantly hit snooze? No. My four are very independent all of the time and it's not less prevalent in the morning. They get themselves ready and out the door without a million reminders. They are independent enough to do their homework and chores in the afternoon without a million reminders. Are they kids? Yes. Do they slack sometimes? Of course. However, I know a whole lot of adults that slack significantly more than my crazies.
The last issue that seems to be presented is that it's "spoiling" a kid to provide them with a warm breakfast every single morning. There are two answers to this. 1-It's not a hot breakfast every single morning. Sometimes we do cereal 2- A good breakfast is scientifically proven to help their brains focus and improve their performance at school. It's a great habit to get into. The same people that are convinced that it's spoiling them to provide them warm breakfast are often those that believe their little demon spawns are sweet little angels.
A morning routine with your kids is not for everyone. If your family functions better without it, fantastic. However, remember that starting good habits at a young age is the best way to provide a great chance at having great options as an adult.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Snow Day
Today was a snow day in Colorado. Normally, even on these days, I am able to make it to work but today was a different story. Unplowed roads + 8 inches of snow + No 4WD = snowed in....well, so to speak. The main roads weren't bad but the roads by my house are a hot mess. I decided that this was a great opportunity to share how a typical unexpected snow day goes....
1. Wake up late because you don't have to get up for school
2. Look at clock and realize Mom didn't wake you up early
3. Stay in pajamas until 11:00
4. Drive Mom to the brink of insanity until she tells you to go outside
5. Fuss as you put on your snow clothes
6. Go outside for exactly 5 and a half minutes
7. Come back in and tell Mom that you're cold and need hot chocolate
8. Traipse onto the carpet until Mom develops a tick because you're getting the carpet wet
9. Take off wet snow clothes and throw all over the floor
10. Go to kitchen and fix hot cocoa leaving not only the packets all over but the messy chocolate mug
11. Clean up wet snow clothes begrudgingly
12. Clean up mess in kitchen while Mom stands over you ready to crack
13. Act a'fool until Mom demands you go back outside.
14. Start from step 6 and repeat as needed.
Happy Snow Day Denver!
1. Wake up late because you don't have to get up for school
2. Look at clock and realize Mom didn't wake you up early
3. Stay in pajamas until 11:00
4. Drive Mom to the brink of insanity until she tells you to go outside
5. Fuss as you put on your snow clothes
6. Go outside for exactly 5 and a half minutes
7. Come back in and tell Mom that you're cold and need hot chocolate
8. Traipse onto the carpet until Mom develops a tick because you're getting the carpet wet
9. Take off wet snow clothes and throw all over the floor
10. Go to kitchen and fix hot cocoa leaving not only the packets all over but the messy chocolate mug
11. Clean up wet snow clothes begrudgingly
12. Clean up mess in kitchen while Mom stands over you ready to crack
13. Act a'fool until Mom demands you go back outside.
14. Start from step 6 and repeat as needed.
Happy Snow Day Denver!
Monday, February 1, 2016
Super Mom
With the best of intentions, recently, someone called me "Super Mom." Flattering? Perhaps, but it also made me cringe. I absolutely do my best. I think we all do. That said, I think that term might be better saved for the mom that adopts hospice babies so they don't have to die alone. I think that term might apply better to a foster mom to special needs children. I suppose the term is relative to the user's desires as a parent, but I don't feel like "super mom". I feel like a mom who works her ass off to just do her best (like every parent does, for the most part) using some of the methods I was raised on wound in with a few of my own.
As a working mom, my life is literally non stop (and no, I'm not saying that SAHMs have it easy or anything of the sort). Almost everything requires the forethought that you think you stop having to use after your kids are potty trained. My days are carefully planned (with some flex space as needed) and I have calendars by the hand full to try to make sure I don't forget things. Here are some things that some working moms might not tell you....
We look like we have it together but it all depends on the day. For moms like me, that insist on their kids eating a hot breakfast as often as possible and a nutritious dinner, every day is an exercise in planning. Some days I succeed and others, not as much. We may look like we run as a well-oiled machine and, some days, that might be true. Most days, though, we are just as rushed and hustled as stay at home moms. Our minds have a million cogs going at once and it's sometimes hard to focus on what your child is reading to you for homework as you're concentrating on cooking dinner.
We're secretly jealous of moms who can make it to all the activities at school. We truly are. We want to be at those classroom parties or chaperoning on field trips but we can't always make it. We're secretly a little jealous but, more than that, we are thankful to the moms that are always there. You make the difference in our classrooms.
...but we also kinda wanna punch the Pinterest mom for making us look bad. You know the one. She's the one who brings in the cupcakes with intricately detailed holiday decorations on the top for every classroom party. Are the treats amazing? Of course they are. Do we appreciate them? You bet! But we also kinda want to punch her in the ear for making our bag of Doritos look like we're slackers. (Side note: Even if some of us WERE home more often, those intricate designs wouldn't be on our radar. You truly are talented, Pinterest moms).
We don't socialize as much as you think. Let me ask you something, stay at home moms...do you consider a trip to the grocery store "socialization?" You don't. Well, guess what...our jobs are, often, not much more social. Interaction with clients/customers doesn't allow us to talk socially any more than you would talk paying for gas or making a trip to the library with your little one. In fact, I socialize significantly less as a working parent than I ever did as a stay at home mom. Our focus is work and then the kids. It doesn't leave much time for adult socialization.
We also aren't all swimming in cash. By the time most working parents finish paying for child care or after school activities so kids can stay busy until they can pick them up, there is not much more cash than stay at home moms have. Why do we work then? Because sometimes that extra is enough to allow us to pay bills or put our kids into activities that we couldn't otherwise afford.
Some of us wish we COULD stay home with the kids. This doesn't apply to all working moms. In fact, there are a lot that say that they would go nuts if they were at home with their kids all the time. For the rest of us, we DO wish we could be stay at home parents. We wish we could be the moms that are always volunteering and doing great things in the classroom.
and finally....
It's all make up. So we drop the kids off with "perfect hair" and dressed nice while you're in yoga pants. You think we're well rested. We're not. Believe me. Some of us have been up since 4:45 so we could shower, wake kids up at appropriate times to shower, prep dinner and put it in the fridge so it's quick and easy when we get home, get the kids a hot breakfast, braid hair, check backpacks one more time, drive them to school. It's no less hectic at night either. Trust me, it's all makeup. We have the same dark undereye circles and adult acne from stress.
I think we're all just doing the best we can with the circumstances we have. If someone waved a magic wand tomorrow and allowed me to stay home but still take care of my family, of course I'd take it. Then I'd have a whole different set of details to contend with. For now, though, I'll adjust my Super Mom crown (for the day) and know that there's a little bit of Super Mom in all of us.
As a working mom, my life is literally non stop (and no, I'm not saying that SAHMs have it easy or anything of the sort). Almost everything requires the forethought that you think you stop having to use after your kids are potty trained. My days are carefully planned (with some flex space as needed) and I have calendars by the hand full to try to make sure I don't forget things. Here are some things that some working moms might not tell you....
We look like we have it together but it all depends on the day. For moms like me, that insist on their kids eating a hot breakfast as often as possible and a nutritious dinner, every day is an exercise in planning. Some days I succeed and others, not as much. We may look like we run as a well-oiled machine and, some days, that might be true. Most days, though, we are just as rushed and hustled as stay at home moms. Our minds have a million cogs going at once and it's sometimes hard to focus on what your child is reading to you for homework as you're concentrating on cooking dinner.
We're secretly jealous of moms who can make it to all the activities at school. We truly are. We want to be at those classroom parties or chaperoning on field trips but we can't always make it. We're secretly a little jealous but, more than that, we are thankful to the moms that are always there. You make the difference in our classrooms.
...but we also kinda wanna punch the Pinterest mom for making us look bad. You know the one. She's the one who brings in the cupcakes with intricately detailed holiday decorations on the top for every classroom party. Are the treats amazing? Of course they are. Do we appreciate them? You bet! But we also kinda want to punch her in the ear for making our bag of Doritos look like we're slackers. (Side note: Even if some of us WERE home more often, those intricate designs wouldn't be on our radar. You truly are talented, Pinterest moms).
We don't socialize as much as you think. Let me ask you something, stay at home moms...do you consider a trip to the grocery store "socialization?" You don't. Well, guess what...our jobs are, often, not much more social. Interaction with clients/customers doesn't allow us to talk socially any more than you would talk paying for gas or making a trip to the library with your little one. In fact, I socialize significantly less as a working parent than I ever did as a stay at home mom. Our focus is work and then the kids. It doesn't leave much time for adult socialization.
We also aren't all swimming in cash. By the time most working parents finish paying for child care or after school activities so kids can stay busy until they can pick them up, there is not much more cash than stay at home moms have. Why do we work then? Because sometimes that extra is enough to allow us to pay bills or put our kids into activities that we couldn't otherwise afford.
Some of us wish we COULD stay home with the kids. This doesn't apply to all working moms. In fact, there are a lot that say that they would go nuts if they were at home with their kids all the time. For the rest of us, we DO wish we could be stay at home parents. We wish we could be the moms that are always volunteering and doing great things in the classroom.
and finally....
It's all make up. So we drop the kids off with "perfect hair" and dressed nice while you're in yoga pants. You think we're well rested. We're not. Believe me. Some of us have been up since 4:45 so we could shower, wake kids up at appropriate times to shower, prep dinner and put it in the fridge so it's quick and easy when we get home, get the kids a hot breakfast, braid hair, check backpacks one more time, drive them to school. It's no less hectic at night either. Trust me, it's all makeup. We have the same dark undereye circles and adult acne from stress.
I think we're all just doing the best we can with the circumstances we have. If someone waved a magic wand tomorrow and allowed me to stay home but still take care of my family, of course I'd take it. Then I'd have a whole different set of details to contend with. For now, though, I'll adjust my Super Mom crown (for the day) and know that there's a little bit of Super Mom in all of us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)