I've seen a number of lists of what a kid should know before they move out. However, some of them seem to omit what I consider to be important things to know, as well. Before I reveal the list, I want to preface with the following: Scientific evidence shows that a person's brain isn't fully developed until their mid 20s. Basically, the ability to see the long term effects of their decisions doesn't develop fully until late in life. This, I believe, is why so many families lived all in one home or on one property so many years ago. Though I believe that kids should know these things (on the list) before they move out, I don't think that knowing these things will make them able to hyper-develop their brains and be able to make good choices. The most important thing, in my opinion, is to teach your children to be strong and independent. I don't think that you should rely on the schools to teach them everything, but instead, teach them to know that they can come to you as they practice what you taught them.
THINGS THAT KIDS SHOULD KNOW BEFORE THEY MOVE OUT.
1. How to change a tire. Now there's a caveat here: if you have your tires professionally installed, the lugnuts are tightened on mechanically which makes them harder to get off. Practice with your kids in the driveway on how to use the jack, get the lugnuts off (even if it's hard), and put on a spare tire. Do it a hundred times if you need to, until they're confident enough to do it on their own. Then, if they're stranded by the road with no cell signal, they can take care of it themselves. Additional plus, teach them to monitor the air in their tires to help with gas mileage, etc
2. How to check the fluids on their car. This goes hand in hand with one other thing: teach them to pay attention to their car and not ignore the lights. The frightening amount of people that have no clue how to even put windshield wiper fluid into their car is surreal. Teach them how to check the oil and what healthy oil looks like vs oil that needs to be changed. Even if you don't teach them how to change the oil (which I believe you should try to do), teach them what to look for.
3. How to balance a checking account AND how to save money. Show them how to balance a checking account so that using the online services provided are simply to double check your numbers. It also helps them to know where every dollar of their money is going and helps them to budget on their own.
4. How to apply for jobs, apartments, etc. Teach them how to organize and fill out the information they need for a job, apartment, loan, etc. Don't fill out the form for them. Help them to know how to keep the information ready so it's there as needed.
5. Write a resume. This one is a challenging one in the age of technology. Teach them how to make their resume stand out. Teach them how to perform tasks that will help their resume.
6. Things to say/not to say during a job interview. Teach them about appropriate things to discuss. Teach them that jobs are not designed for socialization and that they need to speak to their interviewer in an appropriate manner.
7. How to handle dishes. Note that I didn't say how to load a dishwasher. They should also know how to hand wash. They should know how to do basic maintenance (cleaning the trap, etc) on the dishwasher to keep it running well. They should know that certain items don't work as well if they're run through the dishwasher all of the time. They should know that you can't put dish soap, etc into a dishwasher (you'd be surprised how many people DON'T know this).
8. How to handle laundry. They need to know how to separate laundry and what to wash it on. They also need to know how to go to the dry cleaner and what to request. Though that seems unimportant, it's a very overwhelming experience for a teen to go to the dry cleaner and have no idea what to say.
9. How to protect themselves and pay attention to their surroundings. If you don't want to invest in self defense, teach them to protect themselves in other ways. Teach them to pay attention to their surroundings and be aware of what threats may be there. Prevention is half the battle.
10. How to sew a button, make a small clothing repair, etc. I'm not suggesting you teach them how to make a quilt but teach them how to do basic clothing maintenance. Teach them to sew a button correctly. Teach them how to fix a small tear in their clothes.
11. How to use basic tools. Teach them the basics on how to use a hammer, wrench, socket set, screwdriver, etc. Teach them how to do basic repairs.
12. How to plunge a toilet. I know, I know...it sounds common sense. It's not. Teach them how to plunge a toilet so they don't call you in a panic as their toilet overflows. As a bonus, teach them how to check the tank of the toilet if the flushing handle isn't working to see if the flap is stuck, etc.
13. How to clean hair out of a drain. Particularly important for girls (but also for boys that will be getting married someday), teach them how to use one of the zip tools. Cheap, easy and minimally disgusting.
14. How to schedule an appointment. Again, it sounds common sense but there are a whole lot of people confused or intimidated by the process. Teach them what appointments they will need regularly.
15. How to and the importance of basic cleaning. Teach them the importance of dusting vs allergies, vacuuming vs allergies and carpet maintenance, cleaning well, getting in corners and under things to avoid varmits, etc.
In addition, here are some other things I believe you should teach your kids before they go out into the world....
1. Not everyone will agree with you. In fact, many will disagree. Teach them to respect others opinions and be able to discuss things in a civil manner instead of attacking people and trying to force your opinion on them. Just because they think differently doesn't mean they're wrong. This, not only, helps with the compassion factor but it also helps with relationships of all kinds down the road.
2. Respect and listen to those older than you. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with or even do exactly what they give for advice but listen to what they have to say. They've lived longer and, often, just want to protect you from making the same mistakes. Respect them. Listen to them.
3. You aren't in competition with anyone else. Don't try to keep up with the neighbors because their new TV might have put them into debt. Their new car might be what they are doing right before they claim bankruptcy. The point is that if you focus on yourself and your finances, you will go much further than worrying about having the newest and biggest.
4. You are not entitled to special treatment. I'll say that again....you are not entitled to special treatment. I don't care if you went to college for four years or you went straight from high school into the job force. You are not entitled to special treatment. Everyone starts at the bottom and, frankly, it will teach you to appreciate what you earn so much more. You are not entitled to people giving you special treatment.
5. Treat everyone with dignity. Treat the trash man with the same level of respect that you treat the CEO of a major company. Respect and dignity say more about you than you can imagine.
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