It's back to work after a long week off. I'm not gonna be "that mom" that says that I loved every second of the kids fighting because they're together 24/7. I'm also not gonna be "that mom" that says that it was a grit-your-teeth experience to have that much time off with my kiddos. It was a pleasant mix of both with more good than bad. Here's a summary of my time off.....
CONS
*The Arguing....dear God the arguing....Kids that are together 24/7 with "nothing to do" fight damn near constantly some days.
*Plumbing issues. Being without a second bathroom for a couple of days sucked....bad. Knowing that poo was flooding our shower was disgusting and I'm thankful there was a second bathroom to use. Water spilling out onto the bathroom floor each the toilet flushed....grrrr
*Inconsistent sleeping schedule made me nuts. Because I'd nap during the day, I wasn't sleeping at night...which made me nap during the day....which made me not sleep at night. Vicious circle.
*No money coming in (from me). No work means no money and that sucks.
PROS
*Getting to spend much-needed time with the family. Yes, some of it was just cuddling up watching a movie or cooking dinner together. Regardless, spending time with my family in a completely unadulterated fashion rocked! I say it all the time...if I could be a stay at home mom and still afford to live comfortably, I'd do it in a heart beat!
*Plumbing issues got us a new toilet that doesn't require the courtesy flush...and the floor and shower have never been cleaner after being scrubbed.
*Sleeping in and naps. Yes, I still woke up at 5:00 half the time...but the rest of the time I slept in. I napped if I was sleepy and it was wonderful.
*I could get my errands accomplished without freaking out. I could move at my own pace.
*Christmas Eve and Christmas....nuff said.
*Saved gas money and didn't have to deal with traffic.
*Didn't have to think about dinner all day. I could cook when it was time to cook.
*Mellow Mushroom....we went on a date night there and it was SOOOO delicious. My favorite!
*Catching up on house stuff. I finally got to do all the house stuff I was wanting to do and it was fantastic!
Monday, December 30, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Week 17
I am currently sitting in my armchair watching football but I'd like to paint you a couple of pretty little pictures....
FIRST, let's paint a picture of what my morning was like. This morning, I woke up cranky. I didn't sleep well last night and I was exhausted. My ears are having issues with the current pressure front coming through and I was a real grouch. I needed coffee and some food. So I showered and fixed myself a cup of coffee on my new coffeemaker. After consuming that and the breakfast that my love fixed me, I was actually able to function. As soon as that happened, I managed to dust the entire house, vacuum and clean our bedroom, fold laundry, and do about a dozen other things. I was on a roll.
NOW, let me paint you a picture of what happened when the game started. No, it wasn't my team at all but it's week 17 and well, I could make excuses but it's week 17. That says it all. If I was playing Fantasy Football, it would be go time. Last year, I was so far ahead in the FF league I was playing in that I didn't even care....okay that's a lie. I cared but I was certainly not worried in the least because I knew I was a shoe in. But I digress....
The game started and I was in the midst of scrubbing things. Immediately, I'm down for the count. I have no ability to focus anymore. I'm like, "DID YOU SEE THAT!?!" No one is even watching with me. My fiancé is cleaning the garage and the kids are all playing in the new snow and I'm watching the game by myself. And that's not the worst part....the worst part is that I now have three games going BESIDES the game on TV. I have a game going on my laptop, one going on the tablet, one on my phone and the one on the TV (thank you NFL Sunday Ticket and ESPN gamecast). My love calls this "geeking out." LOL
I got a lot done but I have written productivity off for the day. After all, tomorrow I have to go back to work and I deserve a day off, right? LOL
FIRST, let's paint a picture of what my morning was like. This morning, I woke up cranky. I didn't sleep well last night and I was exhausted. My ears are having issues with the current pressure front coming through and I was a real grouch. I needed coffee and some food. So I showered and fixed myself a cup of coffee on my new coffeemaker. After consuming that and the breakfast that my love fixed me, I was actually able to function. As soon as that happened, I managed to dust the entire house, vacuum and clean our bedroom, fold laundry, and do about a dozen other things. I was on a roll.
NOW, let me paint you a picture of what happened when the game started. No, it wasn't my team at all but it's week 17 and well, I could make excuses but it's week 17. That says it all. If I was playing Fantasy Football, it would be go time. Last year, I was so far ahead in the FF league I was playing in that I didn't even care....okay that's a lie. I cared but I was certainly not worried in the least because I knew I was a shoe in. But I digress....
The game started and I was in the midst of scrubbing things. Immediately, I'm down for the count. I have no ability to focus anymore. I'm like, "DID YOU SEE THAT!?!" No one is even watching with me. My fiancé is cleaning the garage and the kids are all playing in the new snow and I'm watching the game by myself. And that's not the worst part....the worst part is that I now have three games going BESIDES the game on TV. I have a game going on my laptop, one going on the tablet, one on my phone and the one on the TV (thank you NFL Sunday Ticket and ESPN gamecast). My love calls this "geeking out." LOL
I got a lot done but I have written productivity off for the day. After all, tomorrow I have to go back to work and I deserve a day off, right? LOL
Saturday, December 28, 2013
The Tree is DOWN!
Free at last! Free at last! Thank God, Almighty, I'm free at last!
Okay, that's a little dramatic but I am feeling that excited about regaining my living room with the Christmas tree gone. I think that because we set up the tree early, we were all kind of "over it" right after Christmas ended. The tree was starting to get dry and blah. It wasn't smelling as pretty. On top of all of that, it was taking up an entire huge corner of the living room.
I started the task of undressing the tree this morning before the kids got up. I could potentially let the kids handle it but I'm incredibly anal retentive when it comes to organization and such and I just couldn't leave the job to someone who would carelessly sling the ornaments into a box. I wanted them labeled, packed carefully and protected until next year's festivities.
My first freakout occurred when I realized that some of my "balls" were missing. I had four complete packages when we put the tree up and suddenly, I was missing three ornaments. No, that doesn't sound like a great big deal. What IS a big deal is someone stepping on one that falls out of the tree as it's being carried outside. If you've ever stepped on a piece of glass, it's painful. If you've stepped on a Christmas tree ornament, it feels like a tiny knight is down there stabbing at your foot with his sword relentlessly, mistaking you for a flesh colored dragon. No one seemed to know what happened to the ornaments and insisted that none of them had gotten broken.
My next freakout occurred when someone tried to sit in the midst of my organized chaos. I had piles going and someone kept trying to sit in the middle of my piles and "help." Now, again, this is not necessarily someone else's battle. I am the one with the anal retentive tendencies. Organization is a fun thing for me, believe it or not. In fact, if I had the money to invest, my house would be far more organized than it currently is. It'd probably look like the Container Store. But I digress.....
The third freakout occurred when the tree did not seem to want to "let go" of the ornaments. I'm somewhat convinced that the tree just knew what was going to happen to it. It was clinging to the ornaments, screaming "Please don't let him chop me up!" Okay, that's a bit dramatic. The fact is that the tree was dying and the branches were enveloping the ornaments making it VERY hard to locate and rescue said ornaments from the tree of doom.
The fourth freakout occurred when I tried to remove the lights. Man alive, if I thought that the ornaments were bad, I was about to lose it over the lights. I was trying to carefully untangle the orange and blue lights from the tree and they were mangled around the masses of clingy dying tree branches. As I fought to untangle them, my allergies were thrown for a loop and I went into an aggravating sneezing fit that about threw me over the edge.
Finally, I got the tree stripped down and it was time to go for the door. Now, even though this tree was dying, that fat bastard did NOT want to fit out the door. Again, I'm imagining this tree fighting for survival, freakishly strong as it battled to stay in its roomy corner. As my fiancé got the tree out the door, I looked down at the thick blanket of needles on the floor and realized that I was either going to have to clean up the forest floor that was now my living room carpet or just let the squirrels and critters come in and live Snow White Style. I moved all the furniture and vacuumed my way across the living room only to discover that it was time for a rearranging party.....and then spent the next forty five minutes trying variations on organizing my front room to best suit our décor.
I tell that tale to say that the tree IS, indeed, down and that the living room is MOSTLY assembled back together. It's starting to look like a house again, which is both depressing and gratifying. Here's to next year's festivities AND the clean up.
Okay, that's a little dramatic but I am feeling that excited about regaining my living room with the Christmas tree gone. I think that because we set up the tree early, we were all kind of "over it" right after Christmas ended. The tree was starting to get dry and blah. It wasn't smelling as pretty. On top of all of that, it was taking up an entire huge corner of the living room.
I started the task of undressing the tree this morning before the kids got up. I could potentially let the kids handle it but I'm incredibly anal retentive when it comes to organization and such and I just couldn't leave the job to someone who would carelessly sling the ornaments into a box. I wanted them labeled, packed carefully and protected until next year's festivities.
My first freakout occurred when I realized that some of my "balls" were missing. I had four complete packages when we put the tree up and suddenly, I was missing three ornaments. No, that doesn't sound like a great big deal. What IS a big deal is someone stepping on one that falls out of the tree as it's being carried outside. If you've ever stepped on a piece of glass, it's painful. If you've stepped on a Christmas tree ornament, it feels like a tiny knight is down there stabbing at your foot with his sword relentlessly, mistaking you for a flesh colored dragon. No one seemed to know what happened to the ornaments and insisted that none of them had gotten broken.
My next freakout occurred when someone tried to sit in the midst of my organized chaos. I had piles going and someone kept trying to sit in the middle of my piles and "help." Now, again, this is not necessarily someone else's battle. I am the one with the anal retentive tendencies. Organization is a fun thing for me, believe it or not. In fact, if I had the money to invest, my house would be far more organized than it currently is. It'd probably look like the Container Store. But I digress.....
The third freakout occurred when the tree did not seem to want to "let go" of the ornaments. I'm somewhat convinced that the tree just knew what was going to happen to it. It was clinging to the ornaments, screaming "Please don't let him chop me up!" Okay, that's a bit dramatic. The fact is that the tree was dying and the branches were enveloping the ornaments making it VERY hard to locate and rescue said ornaments from the tree of doom.
The fourth freakout occurred when I tried to remove the lights. Man alive, if I thought that the ornaments were bad, I was about to lose it over the lights. I was trying to carefully untangle the orange and blue lights from the tree and they were mangled around the masses of clingy dying tree branches. As I fought to untangle them, my allergies were thrown for a loop and I went into an aggravating sneezing fit that about threw me over the edge.
Finally, I got the tree stripped down and it was time to go for the door. Now, even though this tree was dying, that fat bastard did NOT want to fit out the door. Again, I'm imagining this tree fighting for survival, freakishly strong as it battled to stay in its roomy corner. As my fiancé got the tree out the door, I looked down at the thick blanket of needles on the floor and realized that I was either going to have to clean up the forest floor that was now my living room carpet or just let the squirrels and critters come in and live Snow White Style. I moved all the furniture and vacuumed my way across the living room only to discover that it was time for a rearranging party.....and then spent the next forty five minutes trying variations on organizing my front room to best suit our décor.
I tell that tale to say that the tree IS, indeed, down and that the living room is MOSTLY assembled back together. It's starting to look like a house again, which is both depressing and gratifying. Here's to next year's festivities AND the clean up.
Post-Holiday Ramblings
I have come to the determination that if it isn't one thing, it's another. I sometimes feel like no matter how far ahead I get, there's always gonna be huge obstacles that get thrown at me. Yes, that's right, I feel like the obstacles aren't just laid in my path where I walk up on them and have the time and energy to figure out how to best approach them. Instead, the obstacles are chucked at me at full speed and I'm left to make a quick decision to either dodge or attempt to catch the obstacle and wrangle it to its weakest point.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining here about my life. I'm not the "woe is me" type. Yes, I have my bad days, but (in general), I prefer to be optimistic and look at the bright side of things. The great news is that things could be worse than they are. The bad news is that it doesn't make the obstacles that are before me currently any smaller to think that way.
Listen, I'm not gonna sit and pretend like luck is gonna save my ass. To be honest, I think that there's a lot to be said for God blessings, luck and karma playing a part in people's lives. I'm also not gonna be as head strong as some and say that you make your own luck. Ummmm no, you don't. You can put out all the positive in the world and still get back negative. You can do your very best day after day and you're still gonna have sacrifice in some area of your life to gain in another. I think it all comes down to balance and positive thinking. Worrying is like a rocking chair (or so the expression goes).
Think positive and move forward.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining here about my life. I'm not the "woe is me" type. Yes, I have my bad days, but (in general), I prefer to be optimistic and look at the bright side of things. The great news is that things could be worse than they are. The bad news is that it doesn't make the obstacles that are before me currently any smaller to think that way.
Listen, I'm not gonna sit and pretend like luck is gonna save my ass. To be honest, I think that there's a lot to be said for God blessings, luck and karma playing a part in people's lives. I'm also not gonna be as head strong as some and say that you make your own luck. Ummmm no, you don't. You can put out all the positive in the world and still get back negative. You can do your very best day after day and you're still gonna have sacrifice in some area of your life to gain in another. I think it all comes down to balance and positive thinking. Worrying is like a rocking chair (or so the expression goes).
Think positive and move forward.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Post Christmas-Day One
Despite my best efforts to lay in bed all day and relax (since the past 3-4 days have been pretty well non stop cooking, cleaning and entertaining kids), I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I tore apart and reorganized my closet, cleaned my bedroom, reorganized all the gift wrapping supplies and craft stuff, and organized the boys' rooms with all their new stuff. Now to attempt to relax
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Christmas Eve
It's hard to believe that a few years ago, Christmas was so different for all of us. My amazing fiancé was celebrating his last Christmas as a bachelor. He had no idea what was coming. He had no idea how much his life would change so soon. I was celebrating with my kiddos and doing my best to get by. I had no idea that I'd move across the country and get engaged to the man of my dreams just a few short years later. I was miserable living in a place that I hated and wanted..no NEEDED a change but wasn't sure how it was gonna come to pass. If there's any doubt that God moves in mysterious ways, you could just look at our lives and see that.
Fast forward to 2011 and the kids' first Christmas in Colorado. We were living in a little apartment and I was working 50+ hours a week to try to make sure bills were paid. We'd scrimped together enough to get some stuff for the kids but it wasn't much. We relied heavily on the blessings of others to help us get by. We were so blessed and yet had so little. We were terrified of making ends meet but we were doing it by the grace of God. It was a hard year but God provided.
Fast forward to 2012 and our first Christmas in our current house. We were scrimping by again after having just moved. We were struggling with other issues but God was providing yet again. We had to use a fake Christmas tree but we were happy nonetheless. We managed to get some of the wants and needs and decided that we'd deal as we went.
Now this year: We are being blessed enough to take care of plenty of the wants and needs. We got a nice, fat fluffy Christmas tree and we've been building up our collection of Christmas goodies little by little. We're engaged and the kids are getting way too big for their britches. It's insanity.
So what am I hoping next year looks like? Well, hopefully they'll be a wedding by then and we'll be in a better place financially, physically and mentally than this year has brought us (surgery, job changes...so much stress for the year). Ideally we'd be debt-free with four healthy amazing kids that are doing great in school (and activities), us with steady well-paying and great jobs, and looking forward to the many blessings God has in store.
Merry Christmas Eve!
Fast forward to 2011 and the kids' first Christmas in Colorado. We were living in a little apartment and I was working 50+ hours a week to try to make sure bills were paid. We'd scrimped together enough to get some stuff for the kids but it wasn't much. We relied heavily on the blessings of others to help us get by. We were so blessed and yet had so little. We were terrified of making ends meet but we were doing it by the grace of God. It was a hard year but God provided.
Fast forward to 2012 and our first Christmas in our current house. We were scrimping by again after having just moved. We were struggling with other issues but God was providing yet again. We had to use a fake Christmas tree but we were happy nonetheless. We managed to get some of the wants and needs and decided that we'd deal as we went.
Now this year: We are being blessed enough to take care of plenty of the wants and needs. We got a nice, fat fluffy Christmas tree and we've been building up our collection of Christmas goodies little by little. We're engaged and the kids are getting way too big for their britches. It's insanity.
So what am I hoping next year looks like? Well, hopefully they'll be a wedding by then and we'll be in a better place financially, physically and mentally than this year has brought us (surgery, job changes...so much stress for the year). Ideally we'd be debt-free with four healthy amazing kids that are doing great in school (and activities), us with steady well-paying and great jobs, and looking forward to the many blessings God has in store.
Merry Christmas Eve!
Sunday, December 22, 2013
I love the chaos.
I admit it...it might make be sound crazy but I love the chaos of a busy house. Yes, I love my time to relax and unwind. I love my time with my man and I love the family time with just us but there is nothing like the chaos and craziness of a bunch of extra family being around.
This weekend kind of took me back to my old days when my family all got together for holidays. I used to have all my cousins around, aunts in the kitchen cooking up a storm, uncles in front of the TV watching sports and my dad, grandfather and one cousin talking cars in another room. It was always the best kind of chaos. We'd tell stories, laugh and horse around like...well, like family.
If there's one thing in this world that makes me a little sad, it's the fact that my family is all spread out so far away. Even if I was back at home in the Midwest, my family is still scattered. I have cousins in the New England area, cousins in Missouri, Kansas, Florida, and on and on. The family is spread out far and wide and we don't get to get together all that often. I miss the kinship of having all of the family close by but I keep in touch with them and we're actually closer now than we were back when we lived close by.
I guess what I'm getting at in this round and round entry (and believe me, I'm exhausted so I'm kind of out of it anyway) is that as much as the chaos gets crazy and I sit and think, "What the....what" sometimes, I love the chaos of having extra kids around and acting like silly looney tunes. The messy house may suck afterwards but making the mess is awesome. The occasional ahhhhh moments are beat out by the 98% of the time that it's just plain awesome. Maybe I was just made to be a mom or something but I love the chaos of family being together. :)
This weekend kind of took me back to my old days when my family all got together for holidays. I used to have all my cousins around, aunts in the kitchen cooking up a storm, uncles in front of the TV watching sports and my dad, grandfather and one cousin talking cars in another room. It was always the best kind of chaos. We'd tell stories, laugh and horse around like...well, like family.
If there's one thing in this world that makes me a little sad, it's the fact that my family is all spread out so far away. Even if I was back at home in the Midwest, my family is still scattered. I have cousins in the New England area, cousins in Missouri, Kansas, Florida, and on and on. The family is spread out far and wide and we don't get to get together all that often. I miss the kinship of having all of the family close by but I keep in touch with them and we're actually closer now than we were back when we lived close by.
I guess what I'm getting at in this round and round entry (and believe me, I'm exhausted so I'm kind of out of it anyway) is that as much as the chaos gets crazy and I sit and think, "What the....what" sometimes, I love the chaos of having extra kids around and acting like silly looney tunes. The messy house may suck afterwards but making the mess is awesome. The occasional ahhhhh moments are beat out by the 98% of the time that it's just plain awesome. Maybe I was just made to be a mom or something but I love the chaos of family being together. :)
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Unexpected Blessings
You never truly know the answer to something until you try. The fact is that you can find some truly unexpected blessings if you're willing to take that first small step in faith. Case in point, I had a gift that needed to be mailed. This gift was frustratingly late for what I had wanted it to be. I'd ordered it way in advance and it had taken forever to arrive and then I just didn't have a chance to get it sent which frustrated me even further. I truly wanted this special little guy to receive his gift on time and it broke my heart that I didn't think he'd get it before Christmas.
Lo and behold, I bit the bullet and asked his mom (when I found out that the little guy was in town) if we were gonna be able to just deliver his gift. I didn't want to impose on their family time but I definitely did want to send this off late either. I figured I'd throw up a hail mary and see if I could get it to him on time.
Instead, a huge blessing came into play. Not only did I get the info to get him his present but we got to have a special sleepover night too. We got to eat pizza and banana splits and make ornaments and set up the Christmas train. It was a truly magical night for all of us and I'm so thankful. Blessings come in unexpected places and I've been so focused on the stress in one area of my life that I didn't even realize how big of a blessings I could be blessed with in a completely different area.
Lo and behold, I bit the bullet and asked his mom (when I found out that the little guy was in town) if we were gonna be able to just deliver his gift. I didn't want to impose on their family time but I definitely did want to send this off late either. I figured I'd throw up a hail mary and see if I could get it to him on time.
Instead, a huge blessing came into play. Not only did I get the info to get him his present but we got to have a special sleepover night too. We got to eat pizza and banana splits and make ornaments and set up the Christmas train. It was a truly magical night for all of us and I'm so thankful. Blessings come in unexpected places and I've been so focused on the stress in one area of my life that I didn't even realize how big of a blessings I could be blessed with in a completely different area.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Kicking People When They're Down
There are some people in life whose entire goal is kicking you when you're down. Their goal in life is to make your daily comings and goings miserable so that they can feel better about their own life. These people are pack creatures (for lack of better terminology) and suck to the joy right out of you. They move with others like them, those that egg them on in their endeavors, and make them feel like what they're doing and how they're treating people is right. They strike out at those whose opinions do not match their own and they alienate themselves from anyone who is not part of the pack. They are often wolves in sheep's clothing, having others believe that they are the victims, the innocent ones who know no different. They walk around cursing you while making themselves seem so pitiful. Meanwhile, they laugh at your defeat.
I see this in friends, or people that call themselves friends. I see it in co-workers. I see it in neighbors. I see it in extra curricular activities. But nothing is more disturbing to me as when I see it within families. To take that a step further, nothing is more disturbing than when I see it in a parent-child relationship.
I take this back to previous posts on taking responsibility for your actions. Now while this DOES apply to the children once they hit a certain age, this is more pointed at parents. When a parent spoils their child completely rotten, never giving them real discipline and always giving in to what they need, it gives the child a sense of entitlement. It teaches children that they aren't responsible for anything, ever. By the same token, the other end of the spectrum is also true. If you abandon your child (emotionally, mentally, etc) and they don't have another caregiver to step into that role, you deny your children the ability to learn how to do things correctly. While they have to be responsible for their own well being, they never learn how to be responsible for the other things in life. You deny them the ability to grow up knowing how to behave.
I say all of that to say this: a parent that treats their child as a burden or kicks them when they are down is one of the lowest forms of wolf pack. Siblings that do this to each other are closely after. Friends, neighbors and others...join the club. Rest assured, friend, karma will come back around. Everyone gets their godsmack and when you find a time in your life that you are in need, God will perfectly design it so that your only hand up will be the same person you kicked while they were down. You see, God has a funny sense of humor. Here's the question: will those people you kicked still be there for you?
The answer to this is a mixed review but I can tell you this. I would still be there. It's not because I think that the people that kick me when I'm down deserve it. They don't. The fact is, I believe that it's what God would want me to do. It's how God would want me to behave. The "human side" of me wants to kick back and say "hahaha" but the side of me that knows better knows that acting that way is NOT my job. Teaching them a lesson is NOT my job. My job is to love them where they're at and understand that they'll eventually learn the lesson that comes with that. Kicking them when they're down is not the solution.
So the next time you're thinking about "teaching someone a lesson" or the next time you're a victim of someone kicking you when you're down, remember that karma does, indeed come back around. Those that intentionally hurt others will get their godsmack. Those that are the victims of this will get their blessings for making it through such a trial. Keep your chin up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I see this in friends, or people that call themselves friends. I see it in co-workers. I see it in neighbors. I see it in extra curricular activities. But nothing is more disturbing to me as when I see it within families. To take that a step further, nothing is more disturbing than when I see it in a parent-child relationship.
I take this back to previous posts on taking responsibility for your actions. Now while this DOES apply to the children once they hit a certain age, this is more pointed at parents. When a parent spoils their child completely rotten, never giving them real discipline and always giving in to what they need, it gives the child a sense of entitlement. It teaches children that they aren't responsible for anything, ever. By the same token, the other end of the spectrum is also true. If you abandon your child (emotionally, mentally, etc) and they don't have another caregiver to step into that role, you deny your children the ability to learn how to do things correctly. While they have to be responsible for their own well being, they never learn how to be responsible for the other things in life. You deny them the ability to grow up knowing how to behave.
I say all of that to say this: a parent that treats their child as a burden or kicks them when they are down is one of the lowest forms of wolf pack. Siblings that do this to each other are closely after. Friends, neighbors and others...join the club. Rest assured, friend, karma will come back around. Everyone gets their godsmack and when you find a time in your life that you are in need, God will perfectly design it so that your only hand up will be the same person you kicked while they were down. You see, God has a funny sense of humor. Here's the question: will those people you kicked still be there for you?
The answer to this is a mixed review but I can tell you this. I would still be there. It's not because I think that the people that kick me when I'm down deserve it. They don't. The fact is, I believe that it's what God would want me to do. It's how God would want me to behave. The "human side" of me wants to kick back and say "hahaha" but the side of me that knows better knows that acting that way is NOT my job. Teaching them a lesson is NOT my job. My job is to love them where they're at and understand that they'll eventually learn the lesson that comes with that. Kicking them when they're down is not the solution.
So the next time you're thinking about "teaching someone a lesson" or the next time you're a victim of someone kicking you when you're down, remember that karma does, indeed come back around. Those that intentionally hurt others will get their godsmack. Those that are the victims of this will get their blessings for making it through such a trial. Keep your chin up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Duck Dynasty and A&E
The big news right now is that A&E suspended one of the cast members of "Duck Dynasty" for his comments about not agreeing with homosexuality. As a conservative Christian, he cites the Bible as his reason for disagreeing. I can not find a single place in the quote where he says anything directly against the gay and lesbian community; just that he doesn't agree with it.
Here's my problem with it.....
1. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Listen, I think the gay and lesbian community should be treated just like the hetero community. If a homosexual couple wants to get married, go for it. The fact remains that EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion, even if I don't agree with it. His opinion should be respected and viewed as his opinion...just as someone who thinks the exact opposite's opinion should be viewed the same way. He wasn't practicing active discrimination by not talking to or signing an autograph for a homosexual. He was stating an opinion.
2. A&E knew what they were hiring when they hired them. I don't mean that in a negative way at all. They knew they were hiring a conservative Christian family. There was uproar over them praying at the end of their episodes. The family made it clear that there would be no change in that. They were Christians and prayed regularly. Period.
3. If this was reversed, it wouldn't be a big deal. Again, I'm not trying to discriminate but if this was a homosexual saying that he/she didn't think heterosexual marriage was right, it probably wouldn't be as big of a deal. It's the same thing with some racial discriminations. Everyone says (and I consider it to be relatively accurate) that a missing Caucasian child gets more attention than a missing African American child. This is also true if there is an African American person beat to hell by a Caucasian group of "rednecks" as opposed to a Caucasian person being beat to hell by a group of African American people. Honestly, our country actively discriminates in a lot of ways but it usually accuses of discrimination with one hand while hiding their discriminatory other hand before their back.
Let the man have his own damn opinion and watch his show or don't watch it (I don't personally, by the way). But for Heaven's sake, stop infringing on people's rights because you don't agree with them.
Here's my problem with it.....
1. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Listen, I think the gay and lesbian community should be treated just like the hetero community. If a homosexual couple wants to get married, go for it. The fact remains that EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion, even if I don't agree with it. His opinion should be respected and viewed as his opinion...just as someone who thinks the exact opposite's opinion should be viewed the same way. He wasn't practicing active discrimination by not talking to or signing an autograph for a homosexual. He was stating an opinion.
2. A&E knew what they were hiring when they hired them. I don't mean that in a negative way at all. They knew they were hiring a conservative Christian family. There was uproar over them praying at the end of their episodes. The family made it clear that there would be no change in that. They were Christians and prayed regularly. Period.
3. If this was reversed, it wouldn't be a big deal. Again, I'm not trying to discriminate but if this was a homosexual saying that he/she didn't think heterosexual marriage was right, it probably wouldn't be as big of a deal. It's the same thing with some racial discriminations. Everyone says (and I consider it to be relatively accurate) that a missing Caucasian child gets more attention than a missing African American child. This is also true if there is an African American person beat to hell by a Caucasian group of "rednecks" as opposed to a Caucasian person being beat to hell by a group of African American people. Honestly, our country actively discriminates in a lot of ways but it usually accuses of discrimination with one hand while hiding their discriminatory other hand before their back.
Let the man have his own damn opinion and watch his show or don't watch it (I don't personally, by the way). But for Heaven's sake, stop infringing on people's rights because you don't agree with them.
Ummmm Didn't I Graduate Already?
So during my "lunch break" which is usually my chill time yesterday, I got an email from one of my daughter's teachers. Apparently there was some sort of a misunderstanding (and I'm trying hard to give the benefit of the doubt) and she didn't explain to my daughter what her critiques on her Google Doc meant. Now I should clarify a couple of things...
1. Student/Daughter did not ASK for the paper to be done for her. She just wanted clarification on what needed to be corrected because she didn't clearly understand what the critique meant.
2. I have helped her edit more than once on this document (and others). I don't mind helping out at home if I know what the critiques mean.
So the email asks me to explain the critiques to my daughter because the teacher "didn't have time" and the Google Docs version was due THAT NIGHT. Soooo wait a second: I need to explain YOUR critiques and then help her edit the rest of it because YOU didn't have time? The paid faculty member doesn't have time to do her job....a part of her job that would have likely taken less than five minutes? Ohhhh no wait.... as a working mom, of COURSE, I have time to do your job. I mean, it's not like I get home right before dinner, rush to cook and spend time with the kids, help with anything I can, get them showered and then into bed before rushing to bed myself so I can get up at 4:30/5:00. I mean THAT would be ridiculous. Surely I have time to cram in there to do YOUR job.
These are the days that I wish that I had the ability to stay at home with my kids and maybe even home school them. It's not that I don't love their schools on a general level, but I feel like it's not entirely fair that I'm stuck with the parts of the job that the teachers don't "have time for." To me, that'd be like paying someone to clean your house and them skipping the bathrooms because they forgot.
I will only say one more thing on this topic: A students should get just as much time available to them as F students, if not more. Taking five minutes out of your "busy" day to explain something to a usually-independent-and-very-intelligent A student who works their butt off ensures that they keep motivated to maintain that A.
Steps down from soapbox.
1. Student/Daughter did not ASK for the paper to be done for her. She just wanted clarification on what needed to be corrected because she didn't clearly understand what the critique meant.
2. I have helped her edit more than once on this document (and others). I don't mind helping out at home if I know what the critiques mean.
So the email asks me to explain the critiques to my daughter because the teacher "didn't have time" and the Google Docs version was due THAT NIGHT. Soooo wait a second: I need to explain YOUR critiques and then help her edit the rest of it because YOU didn't have time? The paid faculty member doesn't have time to do her job....a part of her job that would have likely taken less than five minutes? Ohhhh no wait.... as a working mom, of COURSE, I have time to do your job. I mean, it's not like I get home right before dinner, rush to cook and spend time with the kids, help with anything I can, get them showered and then into bed before rushing to bed myself so I can get up at 4:30/5:00. I mean THAT would be ridiculous. Surely I have time to cram in there to do YOUR job.
These are the days that I wish that I had the ability to stay at home with my kids and maybe even home school them. It's not that I don't love their schools on a general level, but I feel like it's not entirely fair that I'm stuck with the parts of the job that the teachers don't "have time for." To me, that'd be like paying someone to clean your house and them skipping the bathrooms because they forgot.
I will only say one more thing on this topic: A students should get just as much time available to them as F students, if not more. Taking five minutes out of your "busy" day to explain something to a usually-independent-and-very-intelligent A student who works their butt off ensures that they keep motivated to maintain that A.
Steps down from soapbox.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
The Importance of Teaching Kids about Social Situations
I think that it's important to teach kids about how to handle themselves in social situations. I am not, nor have I ever been, one of those parents that avoids taking my kids out for fear of a tantrum. There are a great many reasons I haven't felt the need to do so. Here goes.....
*I have brought them up to understand that they have to deal with being bored, uncomfortable, or "un-fun" sometimes. Life is not always a big game and I think that teaching them that it is denies them the right to learn the lesson before adulthood.
*I am not afraid or embarrassed to pick them up and leave a cart full of groceries in the middle of the aisle to take them out to the car. In fact, I've had to do it.....once.....the point was made and it didn't happen again.
*Teaching kids that you will constantly entertain them comes back to haunt you.
*I want people around me to practice manners and I practice manners with others. I expect my children to learn the same...and I expect them to learn it through experience.
*If it was good enough for me, it's good enough for them. Yes, that's right. I'm saying that if I had to do it as a child, they can do it too.
*Not only do kids need to learn patience but they also need to learn the basic functions of places like the grocery store, the bank, or the post office. There wasn't a car with a car attached to the front when I was a child and I learned how the grocery cart worked. I learned how to make a deposit at the bank or write a check. I learned how to mail a package or pick one up. Important lessons are learned through experience.
and finally....
*Sometimes, right is just right. I've repeated over and over that the upcoming generation is a bunch of entitled jerks. Sometimes right is just right and there doesn't have to be a reason...no one is entitled to it. It just is what it is.
*I have brought them up to understand that they have to deal with being bored, uncomfortable, or "un-fun" sometimes. Life is not always a big game and I think that teaching them that it is denies them the right to learn the lesson before adulthood.
*I am not afraid or embarrassed to pick them up and leave a cart full of groceries in the middle of the aisle to take them out to the car. In fact, I've had to do it.....once.....the point was made and it didn't happen again.
*Teaching kids that you will constantly entertain them comes back to haunt you.
*I want people around me to practice manners and I practice manners with others. I expect my children to learn the same...and I expect them to learn it through experience.
*If it was good enough for me, it's good enough for them. Yes, that's right. I'm saying that if I had to do it as a child, they can do it too.
*Not only do kids need to learn patience but they also need to learn the basic functions of places like the grocery store, the bank, or the post office. There wasn't a car with a car attached to the front when I was a child and I learned how the grocery cart worked. I learned how to make a deposit at the bank or write a check. I learned how to mail a package or pick one up. Important lessons are learned through experience.
and finally....
*Sometimes, right is just right. I've repeated over and over that the upcoming generation is a bunch of entitled jerks. Sometimes right is just right and there doesn't have to be a reason...no one is entitled to it. It just is what it is.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Normal High School Life has Changed
I began to think the other day about how much the basics have changed since I was a high school freshman (gulp) almost 20 years ago. Having gone to a K-8 school, I was scared to death of having to switch classes, deal with seniors, and try to keep up with the homework of multiple classes. Having attended four different high schools, I can honestly tell you that each one was different but most of the basics remained intact. I look at the schools now and cringe for a multitude of reasons. Society is going down the poop shoot and going down fast and it's not the kids that are entirely to blame. Someone is raising them. Someone is giving them this entitled attitude. Let's take a walk down the road of (my opinions on) how things have changed since my freshman year.
1. They no longer teach classes in "the basics". I was required my freshman year to take a four part class. It included a quarter of shop class, a quarter of library/study skills, a quarter of home ec-ish stuff, and a quarter of basic social skills. We learned how to do basic skills in each class. Shop had us build some random trinket but learn how to use most/all of the basic tools in the process. Home ec had us learn how to sew and cook basic things. Library/study skills taught us how to use a card catalog (a lesson of the past, I'm afraid, since everything's computerized) and how to organize our stuff to study. My favorite (now) was learning how to balance a checkbook, create a budget and other basic life skills. Sadly, these are lessons that kids don't learn now because they don't meet the "core curriculum"....and we wonder why our nation is so badly in debt.
2. General Diplomas don't exist at most high schools. You either have to have vocational or college prep. It's like having to declare your major at 13/14 years old.
3. Lunch time is rushed. It's no longer a break from the day and time to relax. It's time to rush through your meal, which is generally chips and soda for a lot of kids...and we wonder why we have kids that can't concentrate.
4. Money can get you out of damn near anything. Zero tolerance policies on bullies sound all good and well but the bullies get out of things because their parents have the right amount of money or pull in the school. Maybe I was just lucky but the schools I went to had real rules where kids may have gotten away with a little something but the staff didn't care WHO your parents were; if you bully or act like a jerk, you're getting your ass in trouble.
5. Zero tolerance policies are in place. Gone are the days of looking at a kid's behavior in the past and giving a milder punishment to someone that does not characteristically do bad things. Nope. Now, zero tolerance is in place. The "good kids" get the same punishment as the ones that are constantly in trouble.
6. Bullying is a thousand times worse. Part of this is the fact that social networking is prevalent and parents allow their kids to get involved in it very young. Part of it is that kids have an entitled, I'm-better-than-her attitude. Part of it is that girls don't seem to know how to control their jealousy and seem to feel like criticizing and putting down is the way to handle it.
7. No touching. I can remember giving hugs or even kisses on the cheek, holding hands, and so on and so forth. The rules are so strict now that you can scarcely make any physical contact with anyone. I recall teachers standing in the hall and saying, "Enough's enough, get to class" when people were making out but now you'd be suspended.
8. There is 1000 times more homework. Kids are expected to keep up with so much homework that they scarcely have a chance to do anything besides homework if they want to keep up with things. Their backs are sore from carrying 50 lb back packs and their thumbs are sore from texting. (LOL)
9. Cursive and having to really edit are a thing of the past. Spell check is now standard and neat handwriting is no longer required. Calculators are the norm and the basics are out the window.
10. Violence and Suicide. It used to be that the worst thing you had to worry about at school was getting in a fight. If a bully threatened you, the staff walked you out, took care of the bully and that was that. Now there are kids shooting up schools and a high occurrence of kids killing themselves over things. We don't teach kids basic coping skills anymore on how to deal with life's ups and downs. We medicate them to try to get them to concentrate. We medicate them to try to get them to calm down. Then, when they can't resolve their emotions and can't resort to a pill, they take drastic measures to get their point across.
I sometimes wonder if kids would be better off if we went back to the old days and stopped focusing on testing, common core and other ridiculousness.
1. They no longer teach classes in "the basics". I was required my freshman year to take a four part class. It included a quarter of shop class, a quarter of library/study skills, a quarter of home ec-ish stuff, and a quarter of basic social skills. We learned how to do basic skills in each class. Shop had us build some random trinket but learn how to use most/all of the basic tools in the process. Home ec had us learn how to sew and cook basic things. Library/study skills taught us how to use a card catalog (a lesson of the past, I'm afraid, since everything's computerized) and how to organize our stuff to study. My favorite (now) was learning how to balance a checkbook, create a budget and other basic life skills. Sadly, these are lessons that kids don't learn now because they don't meet the "core curriculum"....and we wonder why our nation is so badly in debt.
2. General Diplomas don't exist at most high schools. You either have to have vocational or college prep. It's like having to declare your major at 13/14 years old.
3. Lunch time is rushed. It's no longer a break from the day and time to relax. It's time to rush through your meal, which is generally chips and soda for a lot of kids...and we wonder why we have kids that can't concentrate.
4. Money can get you out of damn near anything. Zero tolerance policies on bullies sound all good and well but the bullies get out of things because their parents have the right amount of money or pull in the school. Maybe I was just lucky but the schools I went to had real rules where kids may have gotten away with a little something but the staff didn't care WHO your parents were; if you bully or act like a jerk, you're getting your ass in trouble.
5. Zero tolerance policies are in place. Gone are the days of looking at a kid's behavior in the past and giving a milder punishment to someone that does not characteristically do bad things. Nope. Now, zero tolerance is in place. The "good kids" get the same punishment as the ones that are constantly in trouble.
6. Bullying is a thousand times worse. Part of this is the fact that social networking is prevalent and parents allow their kids to get involved in it very young. Part of it is that kids have an entitled, I'm-better-than-her attitude. Part of it is that girls don't seem to know how to control their jealousy and seem to feel like criticizing and putting down is the way to handle it.
7. No touching. I can remember giving hugs or even kisses on the cheek, holding hands, and so on and so forth. The rules are so strict now that you can scarcely make any physical contact with anyone. I recall teachers standing in the hall and saying, "Enough's enough, get to class" when people were making out but now you'd be suspended.
8. There is 1000 times more homework. Kids are expected to keep up with so much homework that they scarcely have a chance to do anything besides homework if they want to keep up with things. Their backs are sore from carrying 50 lb back packs and their thumbs are sore from texting. (LOL)
9. Cursive and having to really edit are a thing of the past. Spell check is now standard and neat handwriting is no longer required. Calculators are the norm and the basics are out the window.
10. Violence and Suicide. It used to be that the worst thing you had to worry about at school was getting in a fight. If a bully threatened you, the staff walked you out, took care of the bully and that was that. Now there are kids shooting up schools and a high occurrence of kids killing themselves over things. We don't teach kids basic coping skills anymore on how to deal with life's ups and downs. We medicate them to try to get them to concentrate. We medicate them to try to get them to calm down. Then, when they can't resolve their emotions and can't resort to a pill, they take drastic measures to get their point across.
I sometimes wonder if kids would be better off if we went back to the old days and stopped focusing on testing, common core and other ridiculousness.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Grand Invitations.....Ugh
A double post today. Feeling privileged yet?
I just witnessed yet another episode of grandeur in inviting someone to a school dance and I began to think about the days when I was younger and you just asked. Does anybody else sit and think, "Hmmm maybe if we make EVERY single event a life-altering big deal, it won't make the truly big events special anymore?" I watch all of these kids have to plan these grand invitations to homecoming or prom. I watch these teenage boys have to shell out cash from their own wallet to buy 100 balloons or 5 dozen roses to provide some sort of life altering invitation to a school function or just for a date and I think that it's no wonder people end up split up so easily these days.
As a divorcee, I can honestly say that I understand the concept of a relationship being over. Mine was a special set of circumstances (as I'm sure most everyone thinks their is) but I watch these couples getting engaged this day and focusing so much on an expensive ring, an expensive and extravagant proposal, engagement parties, wedding showers and house-payment-sized weddings and I wonder how much they're focusing on their actual relationship. Now downsize this to a teenage relationship, which feels like it's the most important thing in the world at the time, and sit by curiously wondering what the heck these kids have so many high expectations about this stuff from.
To the teenagers of the world (and the kids), enjoy being a kid while you're young. Don't expect your boyfriend to spend $1000 to ask you to prom. If you're meant to be, it'll happen later in life that he'll plan an extravagant proposal for you. Until then, just enjoy being a kid and stop expecting so damn much. Kids have enough on their plates without adding in this bs.
To the parents of teens, talk to your kids about this and set a limit. There is a difference between a gesture and spending oodles of money that could be saved for college, a car, a first home, or whatever. Don't encourage your girls to expect this crap and don't encourage your boys to participate (and vice versa).
*steps down off soapbox*
I just witnessed yet another episode of grandeur in inviting someone to a school dance and I began to think about the days when I was younger and you just asked. Does anybody else sit and think, "Hmmm maybe if we make EVERY single event a life-altering big deal, it won't make the truly big events special anymore?" I watch all of these kids have to plan these grand invitations to homecoming or prom. I watch these teenage boys have to shell out cash from their own wallet to buy 100 balloons or 5 dozen roses to provide some sort of life altering invitation to a school function or just for a date and I think that it's no wonder people end up split up so easily these days.
As a divorcee, I can honestly say that I understand the concept of a relationship being over. Mine was a special set of circumstances (as I'm sure most everyone thinks their is) but I watch these couples getting engaged this day and focusing so much on an expensive ring, an expensive and extravagant proposal, engagement parties, wedding showers and house-payment-sized weddings and I wonder how much they're focusing on their actual relationship. Now downsize this to a teenage relationship, which feels like it's the most important thing in the world at the time, and sit by curiously wondering what the heck these kids have so many high expectations about this stuff from.
To the teenagers of the world (and the kids), enjoy being a kid while you're young. Don't expect your boyfriend to spend $1000 to ask you to prom. If you're meant to be, it'll happen later in life that he'll plan an extravagant proposal for you. Until then, just enjoy being a kid and stop expecting so damn much. Kids have enough on their plates without adding in this bs.
To the parents of teens, talk to your kids about this and set a limit. There is a difference between a gesture and spending oodles of money that could be saved for college, a car, a first home, or whatever. Don't encourage your girls to expect this crap and don't encourage your boys to participate (and vice versa).
*steps down off soapbox*
Lessons from the Weekend
Things that I've learned/decided in the past 24 hours.....
I'm not terrible at gambling but I have no desire to do it all the time. We had a great time at my fiancé's holiday party and had the money provided to do a little gambling. We came out ahead but it's not something I'd do all the time. I'm too much of a rule follower to take risks like that all of the time.
I'm not unlikeable to most people. I met a lot of new people and, in fact, the big wigs at the company seemed to like me a lot. I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't. I didn't have to feel weird about anything. I just got to be me and they liked me just fine. I've had my doubts about whether I put out a negative vibe after some experiences of the past year but my recent experiences keep telling me that this is just not the case.
I can still work it. I can still get dressed up in a nice sexy outfit and be a beautiful woman despite being a mom and a working mom at that.
The Patriots may be good but even the Patriots can lose to a team like....oh say....the Dolphins.
My kids are the best on the planet. They may drive me nuts some times but they go the extra mile to help out when it matters. I love it.
I'm not terrible at gambling but I have no desire to do it all the time. We had a great time at my fiancé's holiday party and had the money provided to do a little gambling. We came out ahead but it's not something I'd do all the time. I'm too much of a rule follower to take risks like that all of the time.
I'm not unlikeable to most people. I met a lot of new people and, in fact, the big wigs at the company seemed to like me a lot. I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't. I didn't have to feel weird about anything. I just got to be me and they liked me just fine. I've had my doubts about whether I put out a negative vibe after some experiences of the past year but my recent experiences keep telling me that this is just not the case.
I can still work it. I can still get dressed up in a nice sexy outfit and be a beautiful woman despite being a mom and a working mom at that.
The Patriots may be good but even the Patriots can lose to a team like....oh say....the Dolphins.
My kids are the best on the planet. They may drive me nuts some times but they go the extra mile to help out when it matters. I love it.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Schools: The good, the bad and the ugly (part one)
If I'm being honest, I have a real love/hate relationship with the public school system in this country. I think there are pros and cons to anything in life but it seems like there is something left to be accounted for in our schools.
Our government has created a sort of "we know the best way to handle this" with our schools. It's not a Republican thing or a Democrat thing. This "I'm the expert" mentality is bipartisan and started a long time ago. Most of their expertise is based upon standardized testing; yes, that's right, the little fill-in-the-bubble tests of yore. When I was a student, I actually tested quite well but as a parent, I've seen very intelligent and advanced children ranked below average because they don't test well. When I say "don't test well", I'm not referring to kids who rush through and "Christmas tree" the test just to get done. I'm referring to the kids who understand the concepts just fine but might not understand the complicated wording we all know goes on in standardized testing. We've taken the power away from the teachers to decide which students are below the level they should be, meeting standards, or above that level. Now a set of cookie cutter standards decides that.
We've gone through a set of hullabaloo very similar to parenting "recommendations" now too. We can't use red pens or we might hurt their feelings. We can't say "your kid is being a little butthole"; we have to say things like, "He is a real challenge." A lot of schools don't do A-F grading systems anymore. Instead, it's "approaching the standard" and other such wording. A lot of junior highs and high schools are now implementing a system of anything being able to be retaken. Slack off on an assignment? No worries, you can redo it without penalty. Didn't feel like studying for that test? Nah, don't worry. You can just retake it with the stroke of your parent's pen to sign a little piece of paper. No extra credit work is required. No concern of what you might be teaching the kids by having no real consequences. Nope...we don't want to hurt their feelings.
I have a feeling (after speaking to several teachers) that this is frustrating for teachers too. They no longer get to use their educations that they worked so hard for. Instead, it's teaching core curriculum and teaching to the test. The teachers of my childhood that got to teach us things creatively no longer get to do this. No more dainty little songs to teach fun things. No more making sure that the basics are learned. Nope, it's far more important that children are bilingual at 5 years old and are starting algebraic equations in first grade.
I don't want to be entirely negative because, honestly, I love my kids' school. The teachers have such big hearts and I see their efforts to make things interesting. I see their frustration that the system stunts their desires to make learning fun but STILL learning for these kids. I see a lot of teachers really working at trying to cram everything in and it's heart-wrenching because they have the best of intentions. It's not the teachers that are broken; it's the system.
So what's the solution? Well, if I had my way, it'd probably be home-schooling. I'd have to make sure the kids were in activities and such outside of school but I'd be able to truly let them explore concepts and learn. I can't afford a private school solution and I don't know that private schools are entirely better on this front. My opinion on the solution is relatively simple: less government involvement in every single area of our lives. Instead of picking apart every little details, let's get back to the basics and let kids learn for real. Let them get excited and learn to love learning because it will all come together when they WANT to actively participate in their learning process.
Our government has created a sort of "we know the best way to handle this" with our schools. It's not a Republican thing or a Democrat thing. This "I'm the expert" mentality is bipartisan and started a long time ago. Most of their expertise is based upon standardized testing; yes, that's right, the little fill-in-the-bubble tests of yore. When I was a student, I actually tested quite well but as a parent, I've seen very intelligent and advanced children ranked below average because they don't test well. When I say "don't test well", I'm not referring to kids who rush through and "Christmas tree" the test just to get done. I'm referring to the kids who understand the concepts just fine but might not understand the complicated wording we all know goes on in standardized testing. We've taken the power away from the teachers to decide which students are below the level they should be, meeting standards, or above that level. Now a set of cookie cutter standards decides that.
We've gone through a set of hullabaloo very similar to parenting "recommendations" now too. We can't use red pens or we might hurt their feelings. We can't say "your kid is being a little butthole"; we have to say things like, "He is a real challenge." A lot of schools don't do A-F grading systems anymore. Instead, it's "approaching the standard" and other such wording. A lot of junior highs and high schools are now implementing a system of anything being able to be retaken. Slack off on an assignment? No worries, you can redo it without penalty. Didn't feel like studying for that test? Nah, don't worry. You can just retake it with the stroke of your parent's pen to sign a little piece of paper. No extra credit work is required. No concern of what you might be teaching the kids by having no real consequences. Nope...we don't want to hurt their feelings.
I have a feeling (after speaking to several teachers) that this is frustrating for teachers too. They no longer get to use their educations that they worked so hard for. Instead, it's teaching core curriculum and teaching to the test. The teachers of my childhood that got to teach us things creatively no longer get to do this. No more dainty little songs to teach fun things. No more making sure that the basics are learned. Nope, it's far more important that children are bilingual at 5 years old and are starting algebraic equations in first grade.
I don't want to be entirely negative because, honestly, I love my kids' school. The teachers have such big hearts and I see their efforts to make things interesting. I see their frustration that the system stunts their desires to make learning fun but STILL learning for these kids. I see a lot of teachers really working at trying to cram everything in and it's heart-wrenching because they have the best of intentions. It's not the teachers that are broken; it's the system.
So what's the solution? Well, if I had my way, it'd probably be home-schooling. I'd have to make sure the kids were in activities and such outside of school but I'd be able to truly let them explore concepts and learn. I can't afford a private school solution and I don't know that private schools are entirely better on this front. My opinion on the solution is relatively simple: less government involvement in every single area of our lives. Instead of picking apart every little details, let's get back to the basics and let kids learn for real. Let them get excited and learn to love learning because it will all come together when they WANT to actively participate in their learning process.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
True Love Is....
Since I've been so serious lately, I'm lightening up a bit. After my fiancé won a ticket to a Broncos game..no THE Broncos game tonight, I began to think of what true love is; not the mushy gushy stuff. Real true love. So here goes.....
True love is not throat punching your fiancé when he wins a Broncos ticket. True love is being happy for him that he gets to go, even if you don't.
True love is gently nudging or moving to the sofa when your fiancé snores instead of holding a pillow over his face until he stops.
True love is washing someone's dirty laundry without complaining....at least out loud.
True love is telling your loved one "you're a dork" and meaning it in the most complimentary way possible.
True love is giving up your daily soda so you have enough money for your fiancé to have enough soft drinks for work.
True love is changing the toilet paper roll for the billionth time because no one else in the house can muster up the strength.
True love is saving your fiancé from a kick in the nuts for putting his cold feet on you when he gets into bed.
True love is not demanding an apology when someone snaps at you; it's about understanding that EVERYONE has a bad day.
True love is laughing at someone's jokes even if you secretly want to roll your eyes.
and finally.....
True love is proposing to your girlfriend even though you swore you'd never even DATE a fan of your team's rival. LOL
True love is not throat punching your fiancé when he wins a Broncos ticket. True love is being happy for him that he gets to go, even if you don't.
True love is gently nudging or moving to the sofa when your fiancé snores instead of holding a pillow over his face until he stops.
True love is washing someone's dirty laundry without complaining....at least out loud.
True love is telling your loved one "you're a dork" and meaning it in the most complimentary way possible.
True love is giving up your daily soda so you have enough money for your fiancé to have enough soft drinks for work.
True love is changing the toilet paper roll for the billionth time because no one else in the house can muster up the strength.
True love is saving your fiancé from a kick in the nuts for putting his cold feet on you when he gets into bed.
True love is not demanding an apology when someone snaps at you; it's about understanding that EVERYONE has a bad day.
True love is laughing at someone's jokes even if you secretly want to roll your eyes.
and finally.....
True love is proposing to your girlfriend even though you swore you'd never even DATE a fan of your team's rival. LOL
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
The American Dream
What is the American dream? Has it changed from years past? Is it different for everyone? Mine is relatively simple....
1. GET MARRIED. I want to have a small ceremony with some of our nearest and dearest and make it memorable. Ideally, I'd love to have it outdoors someplace with a pavilion/garden, have a cookout after and then maybe camp for the weekend.
2. DUCKS IN A ROW: There are a number of things here including debt-free, people out of my life that need out, money in the bank, financial plan/budget, etc. I am not one of those people that wants to have a wedding that puts us into debt forever. Ideally, I'd love to have no debts.
3. OUR OWN HOUSE: I am very thankful for the house we rent now but I'd love to own our own house (yes, outright) with 5 bedrooms and an office for me along with a garage for my man. I'd love to have a nice, fenced backyard or maybe even acreage where I could release the kids to run like maniacs. I'd want to paint the kids' rooms to be their favorite colors and buy new furniture, electronics and appliances (because I only wanna have to buy all new stuff once). This would include matching dishes, a nice pot and pan set, nice towels and so on.
4. 2 AWD VEHICLES IN GOOD MAINTENANCE: AWD is nearly a must have for Colorado snow. I'd love to have two. If I'm really going for gold, I'd love either a Chevy Traverse AWD or an Audi Q7 AWD.....super ideal? Seat warmers *angels sing hallelujah*
5. KIDS IN ONE ACTIVITY THAT THEY LOVE. That might be one sport in the fall and another in the spring but something they can look forward to, meet friends with similar interests in, and so on.
6. STAY AT HOME MOM/WORK FROM HOME: This is more of an ideal. I'd love to be a work from home mom that can be with my kids when they're sick, be at their school functions, etc but still be able to work and contribute to my family.
7. HELP, HELP, HELP: I want to be able to help others out with my time, finances, etc. I want to be able to help out that single mom who needs someone to watch their child after school while they go to the doctor. I want to be able to pay a bill for someone who came up short this month but who tries their heart out. I want to be able to say, "Here, host your birthday party at my house...don't worry about paying a fortune to rent a hall." These are the things my American dream holds.
Will I ever achieve these? That remains to be seen. Someday, I hope to say yes and to hear of other people's American dream too.
1. GET MARRIED. I want to have a small ceremony with some of our nearest and dearest and make it memorable. Ideally, I'd love to have it outdoors someplace with a pavilion/garden, have a cookout after and then maybe camp for the weekend.
2. DUCKS IN A ROW: There are a number of things here including debt-free, people out of my life that need out, money in the bank, financial plan/budget, etc. I am not one of those people that wants to have a wedding that puts us into debt forever. Ideally, I'd love to have no debts.
3. OUR OWN HOUSE: I am very thankful for the house we rent now but I'd love to own our own house (yes, outright) with 5 bedrooms and an office for me along with a garage for my man. I'd love to have a nice, fenced backyard or maybe even acreage where I could release the kids to run like maniacs. I'd want to paint the kids' rooms to be their favorite colors and buy new furniture, electronics and appliances (because I only wanna have to buy all new stuff once). This would include matching dishes, a nice pot and pan set, nice towels and so on.
4. 2 AWD VEHICLES IN GOOD MAINTENANCE: AWD is nearly a must have for Colorado snow. I'd love to have two. If I'm really going for gold, I'd love either a Chevy Traverse AWD or an Audi Q7 AWD.....super ideal? Seat warmers *angels sing hallelujah*
5. KIDS IN ONE ACTIVITY THAT THEY LOVE. That might be one sport in the fall and another in the spring but something they can look forward to, meet friends with similar interests in, and so on.
6. STAY AT HOME MOM/WORK FROM HOME: This is more of an ideal. I'd love to be a work from home mom that can be with my kids when they're sick, be at their school functions, etc but still be able to work and contribute to my family.
7. HELP, HELP, HELP: I want to be able to help others out with my time, finances, etc. I want to be able to help out that single mom who needs someone to watch their child after school while they go to the doctor. I want to be able to pay a bill for someone who came up short this month but who tries their heart out. I want to be able to say, "Here, host your birthday party at my house...don't worry about paying a fortune to rent a hall." These are the things my American dream holds.
Will I ever achieve these? That remains to be seen. Someday, I hope to say yes and to hear of other people's American dream too.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Divorcee Douchebags
I've come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of divorcees. There are the type that feel the need to take advantage and those that want to do it on their own.
Those that want to take advantage....This can extend to taking advantage of their ex and bleeding them dry. This can also be taking advantage of their parents with guilty "I have to do this on my own" crap. It can be taking advantage of the system by living off the system without even trying. It can even extend to taking advantage of other people by posting statuses, tweets, etc about how broke they are when they're receiving child support in spades.
Then there are those that want to do everything on their own. These people hate asking for help. They scrimp and scrounge and make it work no matter what. They do whatever they need to do to provide for their kids. Yes, some get child support but they still make it a priority to be on top of things.
Here's the problem: the advantage takers know how to tug at your heart. There's always a story as to why they're not looking for a job. They're always an excuse for why they won't use the resources available. They talk about being broke but then go out on the weekends. They talk about how unfair life is at every turn and they complain constantly about their kids being around, as if they're hassles. They're situations are always worse off than everyone around them and they have schmoozed their closest friends into enabling them...."Oh yes, I know it sucks. He's such a jerk." The reality of it is, the spouse is not always the jerk. Yes, sometimes they are but it's not always the case.
While this is going on, the woman (and I'm just SAYING woman; it could be a man in this scenario too) is facing the world as a REAL single parent. They're biting and clawing to make sure that the kids are provided for. They're dealing with deadbeats who don't pay their child support. They're figuring out how to make a grocery budget stretch because they had to take their son or daughter to urgent care for an ear infection. They aren't making excuses for why they're not looking for jobs...they're working more than one to make ends meet. They aren't complaining about kids being there; they're feeling bad for not getting to see their kids more. Their children are not their burden; they're their motivation to do more, work harder, make it happen. These are the parents who deserve the pity, the hand up, and the night off once in awhile.
It's a part of our culture that people get divorced left and right. It's not a great or fun part but it is a part. Life is about making the best of what you're given and there are a lot of single parents out there fighting hard and making it happen. To all of you, I tip my hats. Keep fighting. You're doing a great job.
Those that want to take advantage....This can extend to taking advantage of their ex and bleeding them dry. This can also be taking advantage of their parents with guilty "I have to do this on my own" crap. It can be taking advantage of the system by living off the system without even trying. It can even extend to taking advantage of other people by posting statuses, tweets, etc about how broke they are when they're receiving child support in spades.
Then there are those that want to do everything on their own. These people hate asking for help. They scrimp and scrounge and make it work no matter what. They do whatever they need to do to provide for their kids. Yes, some get child support but they still make it a priority to be on top of things.
Here's the problem: the advantage takers know how to tug at your heart. There's always a story as to why they're not looking for a job. They're always an excuse for why they won't use the resources available. They talk about being broke but then go out on the weekends. They talk about how unfair life is at every turn and they complain constantly about their kids being around, as if they're hassles. They're situations are always worse off than everyone around them and they have schmoozed their closest friends into enabling them...."Oh yes, I know it sucks. He's such a jerk." The reality of it is, the spouse is not always the jerk. Yes, sometimes they are but it's not always the case.
While this is going on, the woman (and I'm just SAYING woman; it could be a man in this scenario too) is facing the world as a REAL single parent. They're biting and clawing to make sure that the kids are provided for. They're dealing with deadbeats who don't pay their child support. They're figuring out how to make a grocery budget stretch because they had to take their son or daughter to urgent care for an ear infection. They aren't making excuses for why they're not looking for jobs...they're working more than one to make ends meet. They aren't complaining about kids being there; they're feeling bad for not getting to see their kids more. Their children are not their burden; they're their motivation to do more, work harder, make it happen. These are the parents who deserve the pity, the hand up, and the night off once in awhile.
It's a part of our culture that people get divorced left and right. It's not a great or fun part but it is a part. Life is about making the best of what you're given and there are a lot of single parents out there fighting hard and making it happen. To all of you, I tip my hats. Keep fighting. You're doing a great job.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Baby Food Grind
Work has given me a fun new challenge lately that I haven't done in years. What is this challenge, you ask? Making baby food. My little munchkin at work is starting solids and Mom (and Dad) wants the most natural choice possible so she has been purchasing organic food for me to make baby food with. I have been on a bit of a bender with it and I honestly love doing it. I love knowing that I'm contributing something huge to such a great family and knowing that nearly every morsel of solid food put into her mouth, I helped create. It's a pretty awesome privilege.
Here are some tips if you've never done it. I'll cover some veggies first.....
Peas: Boss lady and I agree that buying organic peas in the frozen section is the easiest option. I steamed the peas until they were tender (not mushy) and then threw them into the blender with a little liquid (I used boss lady's breastmilk since she's a breastfed baby). Watch closely and check often until it gets to the consistency you want.
Butternut squash: Cut in half and put in about 1/4 inch water in a baking dish. Bake about 45 minutes (or more) until tender enough to scoop. Scoop out pulp and throw into blender with liquid. Again, watch closely and check often until it gets to the consistency you want.
Sweet Potatoes: You can boil but I choose to poke holes in them and bake them at 425 for about an hour until they're tender enough to scoop. Scoop out pulp and throw into blender with liquid. Watch closely and check often until it gets to the consistency you want.
Other tips...
Stage One (so to speak) foods are VERY thinned out. It's to help babies transition from breastmilk or formula alone to a solid food.
I don't use juice until they are at least 6 months to thin anything out. That's just my personal preference.
Homemade food can be stored in the refrigerator for 3 ish days and in the freezer for several months.
If you put your homemade food into a large bowl to refrigerate, instead of breaking it down into smaller ones, please put it into a serving size bowl when you feed it to the baby. Don't feed them from the bowl and put it back...it's kind of icky. LOL
Here are some tips if you've never done it. I'll cover some veggies first.....
Peas: Boss lady and I agree that buying organic peas in the frozen section is the easiest option. I steamed the peas until they were tender (not mushy) and then threw them into the blender with a little liquid (I used boss lady's breastmilk since she's a breastfed baby). Watch closely and check often until it gets to the consistency you want.
Butternut squash: Cut in half and put in about 1/4 inch water in a baking dish. Bake about 45 minutes (or more) until tender enough to scoop. Scoop out pulp and throw into blender with liquid. Again, watch closely and check often until it gets to the consistency you want.
Sweet Potatoes: You can boil but I choose to poke holes in them and bake them at 425 for about an hour until they're tender enough to scoop. Scoop out pulp and throw into blender with liquid. Watch closely and check often until it gets to the consistency you want.
Other tips...
Stage One (so to speak) foods are VERY thinned out. It's to help babies transition from breastmilk or formula alone to a solid food.
I don't use juice until they are at least 6 months to thin anything out. That's just my personal preference.
Homemade food can be stored in the refrigerator for 3 ish days and in the freezer for several months.
If you put your homemade food into a large bowl to refrigerate, instead of breaking it down into smaller ones, please put it into a serving size bowl when you feed it to the baby. Don't feed them from the bowl and put it back...it's kind of icky. LOL
The critics can SHOVE IT
Peyton Manning summed it up when he said that his critics can shove it. Let's be real here, folks: the game, Sunday afternoon, proved the critics wrong. Peyton Manning played incredibly, as did the rest of the Broncos. The commentators, some of which couldn't even get the names right over and over and TWICE referred back to stories about Julius Thomas while mixing him up with Demaryius Thomas, kept referring to dropped passes. Well, more than HALF of those dropped passes were not a direct result of Manning's throws. They were a result of the weather and the receiver. That's not to say that the rest of the team didn't play awesome. Passes get dropped, things happen. For God's sake, they still scored over 50 points....that says something BIG!
As for the critics of the record-setting kick, let's talk a little about the freezing cold which makes the ball, in general, not travel as far. The ball is heavier in the cold and the altitude component is removed when it's that cold outside. Prater's kick was unbelievable and the critics need to shut it, climb out of Tom Brady's ass, and realize that Manning is a better quarterback, the Broncos ARE the best team in the NFL currently, and all the trash talk means nothing.
As for the critics of the record-setting kick, let's talk a little about the freezing cold which makes the ball, in general, not travel as far. The ball is heavier in the cold and the altitude component is removed when it's that cold outside. Prater's kick was unbelievable and the critics need to shut it, climb out of Tom Brady's ass, and realize that Manning is a better quarterback, the Broncos ARE the best team in the NFL currently, and all the trash talk means nothing.
Christmas Shopping is DONE!
With Christmas coming up quickly, I started worrying about getting it done before the final rush the week before Christmas. This weekend, I finished it all up. I went on Saturday morning and took care of the stocking stuffers (socks and underwear) and the last gift in our set. I did NOT come up with the idea for our gift giving but I'm inclined to share anyway.....
Santa brings ONE gift and ONE gift only. He does not bring anything outrageous for them. We are not a family that receives Mac Books from Santa. Santa looks at your list and decides if those are the best for you or if he wants to give you something else. The fact is this: you either appreciate what you get or you get nothing at all. With two tweens in the mix, I have yet to have a problem with this.
Gifts from us....
ONE YOU WANT. This is a gift that is generally from your list or has been requested throughout the year.
ONE YOU NEED: Sometimes this is a pillow or new shoes. This year, it's a tote container full of toiletries....body wash/soap, tooth paste, deodorant, flossers, etc
ONE YOU WEAR: This doesn't mean one outfit. For us (this year), it meant several pairs of jeans, shirts, etc. It all came from the thrift store but it's all name brand and fabulous (and barely used, it appears).
ONE YOU READ: Again, not just one book for us. Instead, I went to the thrift store and bought a stack of books for each child. They love to read and don't care if they're brand new.
Santa brings ONE gift and ONE gift only. He does not bring anything outrageous for them. We are not a family that receives Mac Books from Santa. Santa looks at your list and decides if those are the best for you or if he wants to give you something else. The fact is this: you either appreciate what you get or you get nothing at all. With two tweens in the mix, I have yet to have a problem with this.
Gifts from us....
ONE YOU WANT. This is a gift that is generally from your list or has been requested throughout the year.
ONE YOU NEED: Sometimes this is a pillow or new shoes. This year, it's a tote container full of toiletries....body wash/soap, tooth paste, deodorant, flossers, etc
ONE YOU WEAR: This doesn't mean one outfit. For us (this year), it meant several pairs of jeans, shirts, etc. It all came from the thrift store but it's all name brand and fabulous (and barely used, it appears).
ONE YOU READ: Again, not just one book for us. Instead, I went to the thrift store and bought a stack of books for each child. They love to read and don't care if they're brand new.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Boobs....Some are big and some are small, some are fat and some are tall...
After seeing a rather obvious "guy post" on Facebook just now, I feel the need to reiterate (because I'm pretty sure I've said it before in this blog but I know I've said it in person) my feelings on a topic that is near and dear to my heart (no pun intended)....boobs. Yes, boobs. Anyone who has NOT had children and is still young and perky, you can just ignore this post because you won't understand it unless or until you go through it.
Let's be honest: even men who SAY that they're butt men or leg men love boobs. Somehow, in the past decade or more, it's become a bigger is better game for a lot of them. Women in their 30s (and later) are expected to have the voluptuous body of a barely-legal-never-had-a-stretch mark girl. It's an unfair expectation. Meanwhile men are allowed to get pot bellies, thinning hair on their heads and increasing hair in their ears, noses, and body. Now I'm not a huge women's right advocate and I'm not gonna tell you to burn your bra in protest of this expectation but it definitely isn't fair and causes a lot of women to feel down on themselves.
The fact is that EVERYONE'S bodies change as they age. It's a part of nature. It's a part that seems to be less and less apparent because of cosmetic surgery but it IS a part of nature. For women that means a lot of things including (insert sad music) sagging boobs. It can also mean weight gain which often either makes the breasts larger or makes them LOOK smaller because other parts of your body are bigger. Men want to be critical sometimes but ask them if their....ummmm male parts look the same as they looked when they were young. I'll bet you they get very very quiet.
The other fact I'd like to address is that when women birth babies, their bodies change too. This is especially true of women that choose to breast feed. Yes, there are the "freaks of nature" that birth a baby and don't have a single stretch mark and barely sagging breasts but guess what ladies...that will change when you age anyway. Women get stretch marks (some darker than others...I'm fortunate that mine are very light) on many parts of their bodies during pregnancy and their breasts lose volume and (occasionally) size after breast feeding. Is it fair? No. Is it the end of the world. No.
Women spend so much time worrying about their body looking the same as it did when they were young. "Oh I was 15 lbs lighter." Well you had a little less on your plate back then. "Oh my boobs were perfect back then." Yes they were. Buy a good bra, it'll work wonders on the girls. Men are no help in this, most of the time, because they ogle girls with perfect, often cosmetically enhanced, breasts and say things like, "Well I think yours are nice." NICE!?! What the hell am I, a turkey that you're planning on cooking up? LOL (No this isn't a personal experience here but I hear it frequently).
So here's my opinions.....
*Women's bodies change...so do men's. Men's just aren't apparent until they're naked, most of the time.
*Own whatever you've got. I'm on the small side and I own it. I have friends that are on the bigger side and THEY own it. Boobs are boobs and they may not be much but they're yours.
*Buy a good bra. Maybe you want something to boost the girls or pad them...great. Just make sure it's supportive and comfortable for you, in the process.
*Stop worrying so much about cosmetic surgery. In my opinion, the real thing is ALWAYS better than a fake. If you don't agree, you let me know how that tofurkey works out for you next Thanksgiving. The real thing might not be as aesthetically pleasing but it's natural and...gosh darn it, it's good for you.
*Realize that, despite how well they may hide it, there are a lot more women LIKE you than ones that are cosmetically enhanced.
and finally....
*There are a lot of health risks that CAN (don't martyr me on this because I know a lot of things go smoothly all the time) go wrong with breast augmentation and other such breast fixes. As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather deal with boobs that aren't perfect than be one of those botched boob jobs you see on the internet...and believe me, that's my luck.
Whatever the case may be and whatever choice you make, own what you have. And men...try to be easy on your women and let her know that you still think she's sexy, maybe even more so because she embraces her imperfections.
Let's be honest: even men who SAY that they're butt men or leg men love boobs. Somehow, in the past decade or more, it's become a bigger is better game for a lot of them. Women in their 30s (and later) are expected to have the voluptuous body of a barely-legal-never-had-a-stretch mark girl. It's an unfair expectation. Meanwhile men are allowed to get pot bellies, thinning hair on their heads and increasing hair in their ears, noses, and body. Now I'm not a huge women's right advocate and I'm not gonna tell you to burn your bra in protest of this expectation but it definitely isn't fair and causes a lot of women to feel down on themselves.
The fact is that EVERYONE'S bodies change as they age. It's a part of nature. It's a part that seems to be less and less apparent because of cosmetic surgery but it IS a part of nature. For women that means a lot of things including (insert sad music) sagging boobs. It can also mean weight gain which often either makes the breasts larger or makes them LOOK smaller because other parts of your body are bigger. Men want to be critical sometimes but ask them if their....ummmm male parts look the same as they looked when they were young. I'll bet you they get very very quiet.
The other fact I'd like to address is that when women birth babies, their bodies change too. This is especially true of women that choose to breast feed. Yes, there are the "freaks of nature" that birth a baby and don't have a single stretch mark and barely sagging breasts but guess what ladies...that will change when you age anyway. Women get stretch marks (some darker than others...I'm fortunate that mine are very light) on many parts of their bodies during pregnancy and their breasts lose volume and (occasionally) size after breast feeding. Is it fair? No. Is it the end of the world. No.
Women spend so much time worrying about their body looking the same as it did when they were young. "Oh I was 15 lbs lighter." Well you had a little less on your plate back then. "Oh my boobs were perfect back then." Yes they were. Buy a good bra, it'll work wonders on the girls. Men are no help in this, most of the time, because they ogle girls with perfect, often cosmetically enhanced, breasts and say things like, "Well I think yours are nice." NICE!?! What the hell am I, a turkey that you're planning on cooking up? LOL (No this isn't a personal experience here but I hear it frequently).
So here's my opinions.....
*Women's bodies change...so do men's. Men's just aren't apparent until they're naked, most of the time.
*Own whatever you've got. I'm on the small side and I own it. I have friends that are on the bigger side and THEY own it. Boobs are boobs and they may not be much but they're yours.
*Buy a good bra. Maybe you want something to boost the girls or pad them...great. Just make sure it's supportive and comfortable for you, in the process.
*Stop worrying so much about cosmetic surgery. In my opinion, the real thing is ALWAYS better than a fake. If you don't agree, you let me know how that tofurkey works out for you next Thanksgiving. The real thing might not be as aesthetically pleasing but it's natural and...gosh darn it, it's good for you.
*Realize that, despite how well they may hide it, there are a lot more women LIKE you than ones that are cosmetically enhanced.
and finally....
*There are a lot of health risks that CAN (don't martyr me on this because I know a lot of things go smoothly all the time) go wrong with breast augmentation and other such breast fixes. As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather deal with boobs that aren't perfect than be one of those botched boob jobs you see on the internet...and believe me, that's my luck.
Whatever the case may be and whatever choice you make, own what you have. And men...try to be easy on your women and let her know that you still think she's sexy, maybe even more so because she embraces her imperfections.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Money
There's so much that I'd love to do for my kids but I don't have the opportunity to do it. The fact is that there are a lot of expressions about money...
"Money is the root of all evil."
"Money can't buy happiness."
"Money changes everything."
I have watched more than my share of shows about lottery winners that had their lives go to crap after they won. Money CAN cause a lot of drama and crap for people.
With all of that being said, I don't believe that money does those things. I believe that money gives people the opportunity to see who they really are. When their lives go to crap, it's because they realize they were selfish. I know plenty of "wealthy" people that are charitable, kind, hard-working people and who feel that while they HAVE money, it does not define who they are. Honestly, that is my goal. My goal is to have the money to give freely (and to be debt-free) but also to be able to allow my kids SOME privileges. For me, that would be putting them in an extra-curricular activity for each of them, doing a special thing once a month (museum, zoo, theme park) that costs money and keeping the rest free or cheap (hiking, etc), and having money in savings that will actually equal up to something. My goal is to finally be one of the people that proves these theories wrong.
Maybe God will bless this goal and maybe He won't but a dream is a dream and I'm going to continue to have it. I don't want money to achieve mega selfish goals (plastic surgery, mansion in the hills with servants and such, etc) but to be with my family more, do more for others and show that I would still be a thrify, Savers-shopping mama even if I was a millionaire.
Stay tune for updates on how this mission is going (and I'm not holding my breath.)
"Money is the root of all evil."
"Money can't buy happiness."
"Money changes everything."
I have watched more than my share of shows about lottery winners that had their lives go to crap after they won. Money CAN cause a lot of drama and crap for people.
With all of that being said, I don't believe that money does those things. I believe that money gives people the opportunity to see who they really are. When their lives go to crap, it's because they realize they were selfish. I know plenty of "wealthy" people that are charitable, kind, hard-working people and who feel that while they HAVE money, it does not define who they are. Honestly, that is my goal. My goal is to have the money to give freely (and to be debt-free) but also to be able to allow my kids SOME privileges. For me, that would be putting them in an extra-curricular activity for each of them, doing a special thing once a month (museum, zoo, theme park) that costs money and keeping the rest free or cheap (hiking, etc), and having money in savings that will actually equal up to something. My goal is to finally be one of the people that proves these theories wrong.
Maybe God will bless this goal and maybe He won't but a dream is a dream and I'm going to continue to have it. I don't want money to achieve mega selfish goals (plastic surgery, mansion in the hills with servants and such, etc) but to be with my family more, do more for others and show that I would still be a thrify, Savers-shopping mama even if I was a millionaire.
Stay tune for updates on how this mission is going (and I'm not holding my breath.)
Not Getting Your Respect
In my opinion, this all started in my parents' generation. The media likes to blame it on my generation but I believe that it stems back to theirs more than anything. You see, in my grandparents' generation, it was a very different time. People may have protested things but they protested things that truly mattered and that affected the people as a whole. Their focus was on the family and they knew that they had to live within their means to provide in the right way for their family. They didn't care if they liked or hated the people at work because they went to work to work, not to make friends. Their kids drove them crazy but they knew that they made the choice to be parents. Yes, there were people that acted promiscuously or were drunks or committed crimes, but there weren't as many because people actually understood that there were real consequences for their crimes.
Then came my parents' generation. Now I can't blame everything on them but I believe this is where the corruption truly hit hard. Protesting was a common part of life in that generation but people started to get selfish in their protests. It wasn't always about the good of mankind....some of it became about the good of "me." We came a long way towards equal rights in this generation which is FANTASTIC but we also came a long way toward the entitlement era that now plagues our nation. This was the generation (in my opinion) that started teaching their kids that they were entitled to special treatment, their feelings couldn't be hurt, and they were special. Now, before I get maimed for saying otherwise, I'm not saying that every person isn't special in their own way. What I AM saying is that this is where entitlement began. It wasn't something that just happened; it was something that was taught actively, though they didn't even know that they were doing it.
My generation grew up in a completely different way because of these lessons. Many of them grew up thinking that things needed to be done to cater to them. "You can be anything you want" taught kids that they didn't necessarily need to worry about what they were good at but that you can be an Olympic gymnast even if you have no coordination, an astronaut even if you couldn't pass elementary school math, and so on. "I want my kids to have it better off than I did" taught kids that they didn't have to work for what they wanted because it was their parents job to give them what they want and then THEY should do the same thing for THEIR kids down the line. Our generation was taught to be critical of everything and everyone because they weren't giving proper respect. Our generation as taught that kids can sass talk their parents and parents should just "deal with it." We were taught to play the blame game because everything is someone else's fault. We were taught that families are disposable and that friends are a dime a dozen. There are a million things that our generation was blamed for that weren't just a behavior we picked up; it was taught to us by well-meaning parents who didn't know what kind of a monster they were creating.
Fast forward to the current generation that is coming of age. The movement seems to be split into two COMPLETELY different sections. There is a population of parents that believe that kids are too entitled and are turning into spoiled brats. This group of parents often still believes in old school parenting methods such as spanking, standing in the corner, soap on the tongue, and so on. This group of parents believes in teaching their kids that talking back is not acceptable and, while they will deal with a certain amount of it, you often find that these kids are more accepting of authority because they understand that adults are the authority. This group tends to place a fair amount of responsibility on their children (chores, etc) because they want to teach their children real-world life skills. These parents may read parenting books and articles but they don't live their life by them; they live their lives by experience. They believe in kicking your kids out the door to play, letting them get dirty, and that there is a time and a place for medicine (and a time and place to let your body handle it). I could go on but you get the idea.
The other population of parents seems to be a generation of "our parents didn't know what they were doing" kids. A good portion of these parents will tell you that they were "abused" as children because they were spanked (a matter of opinion, to say the least). A good portion of these parents will also tell you how they were bullied or how terrible they had it (Not all parents of this population do this but a good portion do, in my opinion). This group of parents tends towards the "I don't want to hurt their feelings" way of parenting. You aren't allowed to raise your voice, spank, put them in the corner, etc because it's "damaging"....research shows it. You aren't allowed to feed them junk food EVER, send them to traditional school, and if you don't breast feed your child until they go to college, you're a bad parent (I'm exaggerating, of course). Now SOME of the kids from this are sweet, respectable (though often VERY naeive) kids and SOME of them turn out to be self-entitled jerks because their parents never tell them no.
So what's the answer? Maybe we should stop looking at what these doctors are claiming is well-founded research and really look at our grandparents' generation. Maybe we should make kids understand that actions have consequences. Maybe we should teach them that the world isn't fair but they always have a soft place to fall at home. Maybe we should teach them the value of a dollar and that time is just as important, if not more so, than stuff. Maybe we should teach them that adults ARE to be respected and that they don't have to "earn" their respect; they are elders and should be treated as such. Maybe we should talk to our grandparents and look a bit more at how they grew up. Instead of focusing on how we "aren't getting our respect", maybe we should think about what respect we're putting out into the world for ourselves, our children and others.
End of rant.
Then came my parents' generation. Now I can't blame everything on them but I believe this is where the corruption truly hit hard. Protesting was a common part of life in that generation but people started to get selfish in their protests. It wasn't always about the good of mankind....some of it became about the good of "me." We came a long way towards equal rights in this generation which is FANTASTIC but we also came a long way toward the entitlement era that now plagues our nation. This was the generation (in my opinion) that started teaching their kids that they were entitled to special treatment, their feelings couldn't be hurt, and they were special. Now, before I get maimed for saying otherwise, I'm not saying that every person isn't special in their own way. What I AM saying is that this is where entitlement began. It wasn't something that just happened; it was something that was taught actively, though they didn't even know that they were doing it.
My generation grew up in a completely different way because of these lessons. Many of them grew up thinking that things needed to be done to cater to them. "You can be anything you want" taught kids that they didn't necessarily need to worry about what they were good at but that you can be an Olympic gymnast even if you have no coordination, an astronaut even if you couldn't pass elementary school math, and so on. "I want my kids to have it better off than I did" taught kids that they didn't have to work for what they wanted because it was their parents job to give them what they want and then THEY should do the same thing for THEIR kids down the line. Our generation was taught to be critical of everything and everyone because they weren't giving proper respect. Our generation as taught that kids can sass talk their parents and parents should just "deal with it." We were taught to play the blame game because everything is someone else's fault. We were taught that families are disposable and that friends are a dime a dozen. There are a million things that our generation was blamed for that weren't just a behavior we picked up; it was taught to us by well-meaning parents who didn't know what kind of a monster they were creating.
Fast forward to the current generation that is coming of age. The movement seems to be split into two COMPLETELY different sections. There is a population of parents that believe that kids are too entitled and are turning into spoiled brats. This group of parents often still believes in old school parenting methods such as spanking, standing in the corner, soap on the tongue, and so on. This group of parents believes in teaching their kids that talking back is not acceptable and, while they will deal with a certain amount of it, you often find that these kids are more accepting of authority because they understand that adults are the authority. This group tends to place a fair amount of responsibility on their children (chores, etc) because they want to teach their children real-world life skills. These parents may read parenting books and articles but they don't live their life by them; they live their lives by experience. They believe in kicking your kids out the door to play, letting them get dirty, and that there is a time and a place for medicine (and a time and place to let your body handle it). I could go on but you get the idea.
The other population of parents seems to be a generation of "our parents didn't know what they were doing" kids. A good portion of these parents will tell you that they were "abused" as children because they were spanked (a matter of opinion, to say the least). A good portion of these parents will also tell you how they were bullied or how terrible they had it (Not all parents of this population do this but a good portion do, in my opinion). This group of parents tends towards the "I don't want to hurt their feelings" way of parenting. You aren't allowed to raise your voice, spank, put them in the corner, etc because it's "damaging"....research shows it. You aren't allowed to feed them junk food EVER, send them to traditional school, and if you don't breast feed your child until they go to college, you're a bad parent (I'm exaggerating, of course). Now SOME of the kids from this are sweet, respectable (though often VERY naeive) kids and SOME of them turn out to be self-entitled jerks because their parents never tell them no.
So what's the answer? Maybe we should stop looking at what these doctors are claiming is well-founded research and really look at our grandparents' generation. Maybe we should make kids understand that actions have consequences. Maybe we should teach them that the world isn't fair but they always have a soft place to fall at home. Maybe we should teach them the value of a dollar and that time is just as important, if not more so, than stuff. Maybe we should teach them that adults ARE to be respected and that they don't have to "earn" their respect; they are elders and should be treated as such. Maybe we should talk to our grandparents and look a bit more at how they grew up. Instead of focusing on how we "aren't getting our respect", maybe we should think about what respect we're putting out into the world for ourselves, our children and others.
End of rant.
Take a Look at Other Nations
Since I'm back from my little hiatus, I feel like the first thing I want to discuss is family structure. Our nation is great because there are all types of families here in all shapes and sizes. We are generally told that our nation embraces that but that's not always the case. There are a million and one ways to be a family yet we're fighting for the rights of some to marry (or divorce), our divorce rate is outrageous, and things like wife swapping exist. So what's my little rant about? Here goes....
I have a tendency to believe that a lot of our nation's residents mock or poo-poo less fortunate nations for what they don't have. We try to go in and fix them. To be honest, some things they need....clean water, chance at education, and so on. There's also a lot we could learn from them, though. We could learn about family.
It seems that our nation has turned into a bunch of "Me mentality" buttholes. Oh sure, we all come together when there's a big crisis here or in other parts of the world. We all hold each others hands and feel good about ourselves for a little while because we sent clothes or money or food. I'm NOT saying that those things aren't great steps towards being a better person. They are all. I think we should aim to give each other a hand up more often. With that being said, a lot of people "help" all of these nations or crisis victims and forget about their families and being there for them.
In many other nations, it is not unusual for generations to all live in the same house or on the same general property. The grandparents help raise the kids, the kids learn to help out the grandparents. It's a smooth running and wonderful family unit. Do they argue and get irritated with each other? I'm sure they do. I don't know that anyone is completely immune from getting irritated with someone they're with non stop. The thing is...a lot of these families are together even more than we are with a lot less to entertain them (no tvs, etc) and they have more whole, smoother running families than we do. We keep saying what they DON'T have and how we need to fix them but the fact is that a lot of these people don't want to be corrupted like a lot of our nation's people.
I'm not suggesting that we all completely buck technology and become pseudo-Amish (and I'm NOT knocking Amish people because they have it together in a lot of ways too). What I am suggesting is that we should, perhaps, take a long hard look at how we treat each other, especially our families. Instead of viewing our families as disposable, irritating, convenience options, maybe we should truly begin to focus on our families as the amazing blessing that they can be. Maybe your family is related by blood and maybe you've been brought together by adoption or by chance. It doesn't matter, they are an important part of your life. Here are a few things I'd like to finish off with as a means to remember.....
*Your mom/dad may drive you nuts but they're (likely) the only mom/dad you're ever gonna have. As a parent, I daily look at my life and think, "my parents had the best intentions" and a lot of the time, they were right. I honestly believe that a lot of parents, I'd venture to say "most" parents, honestly do the best they can with the resources that they have. Do they make mistakes? Yes. I make mistakes as a parent now. The great news is that parents are intended to unconditionally love their children.
*Your family is NOT an aggravation unless you make them that. People come in all shapes and sizes and with all types of personalities. You might not mesh well personality-wise with all of your family but they are still your family. You are not entitled to choose people's personalities and reactions to things. You are only entitled to choosing your own reactions to them.
*Your family is not just for your convenience. There are circumstances that lead families to be severed sometimes but your kids, your parents are not just a convenience.
*If you make a choice to ignore/deny contact with your family, you should be prepared to deal with the consequences down the line. Those that read regularly know that I'm a believer in karma and I believe that acting that way has consequences down the line.
Maybe if families focused a little MORE on this and a little LESS on who's driving them crazy, not giving them "the respect they deserve" and so on, they'd realize that life is a lot more than just me, me, me.
I have a tendency to believe that a lot of our nation's residents mock or poo-poo less fortunate nations for what they don't have. We try to go in and fix them. To be honest, some things they need....clean water, chance at education, and so on. There's also a lot we could learn from them, though. We could learn about family.
It seems that our nation has turned into a bunch of "Me mentality" buttholes. Oh sure, we all come together when there's a big crisis here or in other parts of the world. We all hold each others hands and feel good about ourselves for a little while because we sent clothes or money or food. I'm NOT saying that those things aren't great steps towards being a better person. They are all. I think we should aim to give each other a hand up more often. With that being said, a lot of people "help" all of these nations or crisis victims and forget about their families and being there for them.
In many other nations, it is not unusual for generations to all live in the same house or on the same general property. The grandparents help raise the kids, the kids learn to help out the grandparents. It's a smooth running and wonderful family unit. Do they argue and get irritated with each other? I'm sure they do. I don't know that anyone is completely immune from getting irritated with someone they're with non stop. The thing is...a lot of these families are together even more than we are with a lot less to entertain them (no tvs, etc) and they have more whole, smoother running families than we do. We keep saying what they DON'T have and how we need to fix them but the fact is that a lot of these people don't want to be corrupted like a lot of our nation's people.
I'm not suggesting that we all completely buck technology and become pseudo-Amish (and I'm NOT knocking Amish people because they have it together in a lot of ways too). What I am suggesting is that we should, perhaps, take a long hard look at how we treat each other, especially our families. Instead of viewing our families as disposable, irritating, convenience options, maybe we should truly begin to focus on our families as the amazing blessing that they can be. Maybe your family is related by blood and maybe you've been brought together by adoption or by chance. It doesn't matter, they are an important part of your life. Here are a few things I'd like to finish off with as a means to remember.....
*Your mom/dad may drive you nuts but they're (likely) the only mom/dad you're ever gonna have. As a parent, I daily look at my life and think, "my parents had the best intentions" and a lot of the time, they were right. I honestly believe that a lot of parents, I'd venture to say "most" parents, honestly do the best they can with the resources that they have. Do they make mistakes? Yes. I make mistakes as a parent now. The great news is that parents are intended to unconditionally love their children.
*Your family is NOT an aggravation unless you make them that. People come in all shapes and sizes and with all types of personalities. You might not mesh well personality-wise with all of your family but they are still your family. You are not entitled to choose people's personalities and reactions to things. You are only entitled to choosing your own reactions to them.
*Your family is not just for your convenience. There are circumstances that lead families to be severed sometimes but your kids, your parents are not just a convenience.
*If you make a choice to ignore/deny contact with your family, you should be prepared to deal with the consequences down the line. Those that read regularly know that I'm a believer in karma and I believe that acting that way has consequences down the line.
Maybe if families focused a little MORE on this and a little LESS on who's driving them crazy, not giving them "the respect they deserve" and so on, they'd realize that life is a lot more than just me, me, me.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Engaged!
I'm ENGAGED! The love of my life proposed to me on Thanksgiving in a completely unexpected but amazingly awesome way that made me feel so special that it was unreal. Just to know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me makes everything in my life that much more special. The fact that he wants to spend the rest of his life with ALL of us (crazies included) makes it 1000 times more special. I'm so blessed to have him in my life.
The kids are all doing fantastic. Growing like weeds, but fantastic. LOL They're doing great in school and continuing to rock behaviorally...well most of the time. Kids are kids, right?
I feel the winds of change blowing in a positive direction and I'm waiting to see what God does next. He's surprised me thus far. :)
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