Divorcee Douchebags

I've come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of divorcees.  There are the type that feel the need to take advantage and those that want to do it on their own.

Those that want to take advantage....This can extend to taking advantage of their ex and bleeding them dry.  This can also be taking advantage of their parents with guilty "I have to do this on my own" crap.  It can be taking advantage of the system by living off the system without even trying.  It can even extend to taking advantage of other people by posting statuses, tweets, etc about how broke they are when they're receiving child support in spades.

Then there are those that want to do everything on their own.  These people hate asking for help.  They scrimp and scrounge and make it work no matter what.  They do whatever they need to do to provide for their kids.  Yes, some get child support but they still make it a priority to be on top of things.

Here's the problem: the advantage takers know how to tug at your heart.  There's always a story as to why they're not looking for a job.  They're always an excuse for why they won't use the resources available.  They talk about being broke but then go out on the weekends.  They talk about how unfair life is at every turn and they complain constantly about their kids being around, as if they're hassles.  They're situations are always worse off than everyone around them and they have schmoozed their closest friends into enabling them...."Oh yes, I know it sucks.  He's such a jerk."  The reality of it is, the spouse is not always the jerk.  Yes, sometimes they are but it's not always the case.

While this is going on, the woman (and I'm just SAYING woman; it could be a man in this scenario too) is facing the world as a REAL single parent.  They're biting and clawing to make sure that the kids are provided for.  They're dealing with deadbeats who don't pay their child support.  They're figuring out how to make a grocery  budget stretch because they had to take their son or daughter to urgent care for an ear infection.  They aren't making excuses for why they're not looking for jobs...they're working more than one to make ends meet.  They aren't complaining about kids being there; they're feeling bad for not getting to see their kids more.  Their children are not their burden; they're their motivation to do more, work harder, make it happen.  These are the parents who deserve the pity, the hand up, and the night off once in awhile.

It's a part of our culture that people get divorced left and right.  It's not a great or fun part but it is a part.  Life is about making the best of what you're given and there are a lot of single parents out there fighting hard and making it happen.  To all of you, I tip my hats.  Keep fighting.  You're doing a great job.