Well, we're through the first half (-ish) of summer, parents. Take a deep breath and exhale the craziness you've dealt with so far. Now, to get through the rest of summer, here are the answers to some of the most frequently asked questions....
1. Yes, they will fight about everything.....every day.....until the end of time. It doesn't matter if you get two of the exact same toy. They will find a way to find some tiny imperfection, imagined or real, and it will cause an argument.
2. "Then Go Cleeeeeeeeeean." This is, in fact, the most effective answer to the "I'm booooooored" comment you've probably already heard about a hundred times. I find that a jar of tasks that they can draw from aids in letting them know you're serious.
3. Yes, toddlers will still get up at 5 AM and yes teenagers will still sleep through noon....the whole summer. Sleep patterns just seem to intensify in summer.
4. Yes it is sweaty balls hot. Yes, it will continue to be so for most of the rest of summer. I'd like to point out that well over half of you were fussing about the cold a couple of months ago and saying, "I can't WAIT for summer." It's here, bitches. It's here.
5. No it is not too soon to begin a countdown back to school. Want to know how many days? Ask a teacher. Not only are they already planning but they're feeling a bit of bittersweet sadness that their summer ends before your kids' does.
Now, go break up that argument over whose turn it is to close the refrigerator door and remember that summer only lasts so long...and they're only young once!
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Muslim Does Not Equal Radical Islam
So I've seen several posts lately on the events of 9-11 saying that people have forgotten. On some level, it's true. We've forgotten how we came together as a nation. We've forgotten how terrifying that felt and how it made us appreciate our families and friends so much more. We've forgotten how it changed us and how much it shaped how we view things.
But some of us seem to have forgotten something else.... who we were fighting. You see, our war is not with all Muslims. Our fight has been against Radical Islam and that is an entirely different thing.
Here are a few thoughts I just want to share to give you some nuggets to chew on.....
*"The Quran encourages violence." Most of the people that make this argument have never actually read the Quran. In fact, most haven't read the Bible or the Book of Mormon or any other religious book in its entirety. Most are basing it on what they read....wait for it......online. Statistically speaking, the Bible contains more than twice as many violent passages as the Quran. Even when you break it down to percentage (as the Bible has many more pages), the Quran's percentage of violent passages (though larger in percentage than the Bible's 2.71%) is still only 5.34%. Is the Bible a violent book? Not, in my opinion. But my opinion is that the Quran isn't either. Realistically Christians seldom follow every single passage in the Bible to follow or they'd be cutting off hands and gouging out eyes. The reason? Christianity is based on Jesus saving our souls and creating a new covenant. All I am saying is that you should read the Quran YOURSELF before deciding it's violent because anything can be taken out of context.
*"My brother in law has been 'over there' fighting in the military and they all hate us.'" First off, God bless our military. I believe that they have been through hell and I believe that the areas they were called to be have some awful, awful things that can't be unseen. What I also believe, though, is that we are, once again, confusing all Muslims with a particular war-torn region of a country. I know, for damn certain, I would not want someone coming over here and judging me based on a gang-infested area of a major city. I wouldn't want everyone thinking that our whole country is violent and angry just because they were dropped in downtown Chicago (let's say) and encountered a bunch of violent, angry people.
*"All the men rape children." No, no they don't. Just like all Christian men don't lay down with their daughters like the Bible's Old Testament says. In fact, I'd venture that MOST Muslim men don't rape children just like most Christian men or Buddhist men or Jewish men or any other religion don't rape children. This is just cruel and xenophobic.
*"The women are beaten and have no rights." Okay, again, confusing a country (or portion of a country) and a religion. Let me stress again that a particular Middle Eastern country (or cluster of them) does NOT represent a religion. Do you see every single Christian woman walking around in completely modest clothing that shows off nothing with no makeup? Of course not. Just because the Bible says it, doesn't mean that they obey every single passage...why? Their focus tends to be on the New Testament because of the new covenant when Jesus died and was resurrected. There are plenty of Muslims that live in our country (and others) that treat their wives and daughters with more respect and dignity than many other families. You are confusing religion and a country.
*"Well look at all the shootings here...all Muslim." Again, generalization. Has Radical Islam waged a war with our country? Yes, ours and many others. Does that mean all Muslims have? No, not at all. I sure as hell don't want to be categorized with people that do violence in the name of Christianity. Why? Because those people don't represent all Christians. It's the same premise, like it or not.
*"Well I don't trust any Muslims." Well I feel very sad for you, then. Let me ask this question though: how many Muslims do you actually actively know? How many have you talked to, in depth? How many have you looked in the eye? I'm not talking about what you see, talk about or "chat" online. I'm talking about truly standing face to face with a Muslim man or woman and truly talking to them. I'm talking about asking them questions about their faith and their culture. I'm talking about asking THEIR opinions on all of this. I can tell you that I have conversed with many that I consider to be kind, generous, friendly people. I have friends that are Muslim and I trust some of them more than I trust some of my friends of other faith. Religion does not define us; our hearts do.
This is just the start of a conversation that I wish more people would have. I wish that they would understand that a country, particularly a portion of a country, does not represent a religion. I wish they would understand that 5.3% of a book doesn't represent the whole book. I wish that they would understand that Radical Islam doesn't represent the Muslim faith. I wish that they would take the time to TALK to Muslims, despite their fear, and truly understand that most are not violent, cruel people. I wish that they would take the time to get over their fear of what they don't understand and really educate themselves from ALL sides on what they are judging.
Please take the opportunity to learn.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
A Tidbit of Advice
So today I'll present you a little story. In our story, a girl named Maggie is a bit self conscious. She's gained some weight and is a little iffy on her body. She posts some casual pictures to social media of different things she's been up to from work to birthday parties to pool time. Way old friend, Samuel, posts a comment about the fact that several of her last pictures are prominently showing her breasts. Maggie, in return, feels even more self conscious and begins to doubt herself. While Samuel finds the comment to be funny, Maggie's heart is broken and she begins to worry that she needs to dress differently.
This happens all of the time.......
Too often, the Maggies of the world are subject to people's "jokes." Here's the thing...a joke is only a joke when other people find it funny. Mocking someone that is already self-conscious is not funny....ever.
Think before you speak, friends.
Look, I'm not one for the butthurt bull crap of the world but there is a line between overly offended and genuine feelings of sorrow over someone's comments. Was her aim to "feature" her breasts in a picture? No, probably not. I mean, with weight come boobs and booty. I am always telling women to "own it" but sometimes, that's easier said than done. Sometimes that takes some time to adjust to. People's jackassy comments don't help that.
So Maggies of the world, be proud of your body. Ignore the Samuel's of the world and know that men are men....they just see boobs. You could have a picture of you surrounded by a beautiful cave of sparkly rocks and all they'd see is your boobs sometimes. It just happens. Be proud, ladies. You are beautiful and amazing.
Samuels of the world, think twice before you comment something like that. What you think is funny might just be mean.
Look, I'm not one for the butthurt bull crap of the world but there is a line between overly offended and genuine feelings of sorrow over someone's comments. Was her aim to "feature" her breasts in a picture? No, probably not. I mean, with weight come boobs and booty. I am always telling women to "own it" but sometimes, that's easier said than done. Sometimes that takes some time to adjust to. People's jackassy comments don't help that.
So Maggies of the world, be proud of your body. Ignore the Samuel's of the world and know that men are men....they just see boobs. You could have a picture of you surrounded by a beautiful cave of sparkly rocks and all they'd see is your boobs sometimes. It just happens. Be proud, ladies. You are beautiful and amazing.
Samuels of the world, think twice before you comment something like that. What you think is funny might just be mean.
Monday, June 27, 2016
You Can Make a Difference
I think that one of the greatest things we can teach our children is not to force things. When I look at my generation and I see where we are now, I see that we made a whole lot of decisions based on the fact that we thought that's what we were supposed to do. We thought that we were supposed to settle down, get married and have kids at a certain age. We thought that we HAD to decide on a career at 18 when we started college. We thought that we had to buy a house near our parents. We thought that we had to have holiday meals with our family and never move outside of our little tribal circle.
Then, I look at my generation now. At least half, if not more, of us are divorced. Some remarried, some haven't really dated, and some are not interested in ever getting married again after our experiences. At least half aren't even using a degree that they obtained right out of high school. Some just got a different job, some are pursuing something currently, and some aren't even sure what they're supposed to do. At least half of us don't have that house near our parents. In fact, statistically a lot of people lost or sold them in their divorce or in the mortgage crisis while others had to move due to jobs and others moved voluntarily for a better life. You see, we tried to force a life that we weren't ready to have and ended up realizing that we should have taken those years to really think on who we were.
I am a firm believer in encouraging (not forcing but encouraging) kids to really wait until they're at least 24 or 25 to get married and settle down. I did it much earlier, as did many of my friends, and I have learned so much from it. I don't think that a whole lot of people truly know what they want to do at 18. I don't think many of them realize that they haven't even unwrapped all of the layers of who they are and your late teens are twenties are the best time to find that out! I think that kids benefit more from not having these hard expectations on what exactly they have to do. It doesn't have to be a cookie cutter business to be successful. True happiness and success come from doing what you're meant to do, not what you have been forced into doing.
What has changed the way our country works is that we seem to have developed a "me" complex. We forget that part of our responsibility, as a nation, is to mentor the upcoming generation on what we've learned. Will they always listen? No, in fact, they may not seem like they're listening at all....until they encounter a situation where they need to use the advice and realize that you weren't trying to boss them around; you were trying to help them. Part of our responsibility as a nation is to encourage them to change the world. It's important for us to encourage them to shoot for the starts because great advances come from people who think outside the box. Shouldn't their parents be taking care of that? Of course they should but what harm does it do to reinforce that teaching? Why have we gone from "it takes a village" to "screw the village, I'm saving my house?" It may not be your "job" to mentor these kids but a great man once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country."
I've sort of gotten off track. My apologies.
My point in all of this is that if we want to raise a better generation, we need to encourage them to be what they were meant to be. Maybe it's not what we pictured or what would make the most money but it's what will fill their soul. If we want to help the current generation, we need to be there to mentor them, even if when it's not fun. You see, when they find what their soul needs to fill it, they, too, will want to do something wonderful to change the nation. Big changes can begin with just one small step.
Then, I look at my generation now. At least half, if not more, of us are divorced. Some remarried, some haven't really dated, and some are not interested in ever getting married again after our experiences. At least half aren't even using a degree that they obtained right out of high school. Some just got a different job, some are pursuing something currently, and some aren't even sure what they're supposed to do. At least half of us don't have that house near our parents. In fact, statistically a lot of people lost or sold them in their divorce or in the mortgage crisis while others had to move due to jobs and others moved voluntarily for a better life. You see, we tried to force a life that we weren't ready to have and ended up realizing that we should have taken those years to really think on who we were.
I am a firm believer in encouraging (not forcing but encouraging) kids to really wait until they're at least 24 or 25 to get married and settle down. I did it much earlier, as did many of my friends, and I have learned so much from it. I don't think that a whole lot of people truly know what they want to do at 18. I don't think many of them realize that they haven't even unwrapped all of the layers of who they are and your late teens are twenties are the best time to find that out! I think that kids benefit more from not having these hard expectations on what exactly they have to do. It doesn't have to be a cookie cutter business to be successful. True happiness and success come from doing what you're meant to do, not what you have been forced into doing.
What has changed the way our country works is that we seem to have developed a "me" complex. We forget that part of our responsibility, as a nation, is to mentor the upcoming generation on what we've learned. Will they always listen? No, in fact, they may not seem like they're listening at all....until they encounter a situation where they need to use the advice and realize that you weren't trying to boss them around; you were trying to help them. Part of our responsibility as a nation is to encourage them to change the world. It's important for us to encourage them to shoot for the starts because great advances come from people who think outside the box. Shouldn't their parents be taking care of that? Of course they should but what harm does it do to reinforce that teaching? Why have we gone from "it takes a village" to "screw the village, I'm saving my house?" It may not be your "job" to mentor these kids but a great man once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country."
I've sort of gotten off track. My apologies.
My point in all of this is that if we want to raise a better generation, we need to encourage them to be what they were meant to be. Maybe it's not what we pictured or what would make the most money but it's what will fill their soul. If we want to help the current generation, we need to be there to mentor them, even if when it's not fun. You see, when they find what their soul needs to fill it, they, too, will want to do something wonderful to change the nation. Big changes can begin with just one small step.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Review of "Sand in the City" in Arvada, CO
Yesterday, I attended the Arvada "Sand in the City" Festival in Arvada, CO. Overall, it didn't live up to my expectations but I tend to think that it's because I wasn't sure what to expect. It was still a nice little festival. Here are my thoughts.....
*Inexpensive entry: It was $5 for adults (13+) and free for kids 12 and under. A percentage of the proceeds went to the Jeffco School system. This was a MAJOR plus for me on both accounts. Most of the "fun" was included in the $5 which makes it cheap, easy entertainment.....affordable entertainment is very, very nice.
*Vast array of local vendors for food, drinks and craft beer: Again, pretty affordable overall and a great assortment. They had everything from barbecue to spicy sausages to homemade ice cream and everything in between. Very, very impressed.
*Vendor tents: I was very impressed with the vendor tents as well. They were all well-arranged and the folks in them were incredibly friendly. My favorite happened to be the airbrushed tattoos. The gentleman inside was extremely pleasant and the tattoos were very affordable.
*Entertainment: The band playing when we were there were truly great. There was a big open area to spread out and watch them. I recommend making sure to bring a big umbrella, canopy, etc to make sure that you can stay shaded. If your kids are old enough and you feel comfortable with it, you can stretch out and let them just check in after the other fun stuff. What other fun stuff? Bouncehouses, inflatable hamster balls, bouncy slides, and more. Be prepared for LONNNNNNNG lines. Even to get face painting done, there was an incredibly long line which made the airbrushed tattoos all the more worth it.
*Sand sculptures: Okay so this is where my expectations were a bit skewed. I expected there to be sand everywhere...a ton of sculptures. There were nine total. While that was strictly my overly excited expectation, it kind of skews the theme of "Sand in the City" when there are only nine sand sculptures. It could have more easily been called "Beer and Brats in the City" for the sake of accuracy. With that said, the sand sculptures were absolutely incredible. With themes from "animals" to "minions" to "the three little pigs" with some "dragons" in between, it was absolutely amazing. My personal favorite happened to be a dragon on a castle with glittery purple and green scales built in. Hopefully another year there will be more of them.
Overall, I'd say that it's WELL worth the money to go and attend. If you have very young children, my recommendation is to be prepared to prioritize because the lines will be long for entertainment. If you have older children that are able to explore a bit "on their own" within the confines of the fair, bring something to shade yourself and enjoy the entertainment while they go and explore the inflatables and long lines. I will be returning next year with different expectations but no less impressed with the beautiful sculptures!
*Inexpensive entry: It was $5 for adults (13+) and free for kids 12 and under. A percentage of the proceeds went to the Jeffco School system. This was a MAJOR plus for me on both accounts. Most of the "fun" was included in the $5 which makes it cheap, easy entertainment.....affordable entertainment is very, very nice.
*Vast array of local vendors for food, drinks and craft beer: Again, pretty affordable overall and a great assortment. They had everything from barbecue to spicy sausages to homemade ice cream and everything in between. Very, very impressed.
*Vendor tents: I was very impressed with the vendor tents as well. They were all well-arranged and the folks in them were incredibly friendly. My favorite happened to be the airbrushed tattoos. The gentleman inside was extremely pleasant and the tattoos were very affordable.
*Entertainment: The band playing when we were there were truly great. There was a big open area to spread out and watch them. I recommend making sure to bring a big umbrella, canopy, etc to make sure that you can stay shaded. If your kids are old enough and you feel comfortable with it, you can stretch out and let them just check in after the other fun stuff. What other fun stuff? Bouncehouses, inflatable hamster balls, bouncy slides, and more. Be prepared for LONNNNNNNG lines. Even to get face painting done, there was an incredibly long line which made the airbrushed tattoos all the more worth it.
*Sand sculptures: Okay so this is where my expectations were a bit skewed. I expected there to be sand everywhere...a ton of sculptures. There were nine total. While that was strictly my overly excited expectation, it kind of skews the theme of "Sand in the City" when there are only nine sand sculptures. It could have more easily been called "Beer and Brats in the City" for the sake of accuracy. With that said, the sand sculptures were absolutely incredible. With themes from "animals" to "minions" to "the three little pigs" with some "dragons" in between, it was absolutely amazing. My personal favorite happened to be a dragon on a castle with glittery purple and green scales built in. Hopefully another year there will be more of them.
Overall, I'd say that it's WELL worth the money to go and attend. If you have very young children, my recommendation is to be prepared to prioritize because the lines will be long for entertainment. If you have older children that are able to explore a bit "on their own" within the confines of the fair, bring something to shade yourself and enjoy the entertainment while they go and explore the inflatables and long lines. I will be returning next year with different expectations but no less impressed with the beautiful sculptures!
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Compassion In Spades
I've noticed an alarming trend of complete and total hatred in our country. It's not just Republicans or Democrats. It's not just Christians or Atheists. It's not just black or white. It's not just man or woman. It's not just gay or straight. It's coming from all angles and it's absolutely disturbing.
Today's post, though, is to concentrate on something specific.... the idea that someone that is a nationalized citizen of our country should forfeit all love of his former country. This post is not an illegal immigrant rant. This post is not a rant on races or religions...this is simply some food for thought to chomp on. Here goes....
To help with the understanding, I'm going to paint you a picture: A loving husband and father of two children, that we'll call A and B, is widowed. He remarries a divorced woman who has three children of her own that we will call C,D, and E. Now, A and B still, very much, miss their mother. They miss their mother's family and, although they ADORE their new stepmother and step-siblings, they still feel like they are, in some way, a part of their mother. In some ways, they feel as if they are betraying their mother if they truly fully embrace their stepmother and C,D, and E as their true family. In short, they feel pulled in two different directions. Their stepmother, being a kind woman, comes to understand this and encourages them to embrace their mother's family while still being a part of theirs to the fullest extent. She lets them know that they don't have to choose between the two and while they will adopt new family traditions, experience new family experiences and love each other as family, they can still hold their mother just as firmly in their hearts. They don't have to let go of who they are in order to become who they are meant to be.
You are feeling compassion now, yes? Allow me to explain what I'm comparing here....
A and B are people hoping to become citizens of the United States. They have come here legally and are in the process of jumping through the hoops to become a citizen. They are studying hard for the tests, filling out all of the paperwork, and doing absolutely everything that they can in order to do everything completely right.
The new stepmother is our beautiful country and just like the stepmother in the comparison, our country is kind and generous. Our country is understanding. Our country does not demand that A and B let go of their former country and heritage. Instead our country asks that A and B let us learn more about their traditions so that we can better understand and help them to embrace the old heritage while also learning and celebrating new things. You see, A and B aren't expected to give up everything; they are only given the opportunity to embrace both their past and their present in order to create a beautiful future. They don't have to let go of who they are in order to become who they are meant to be.
C,D, and E are you and I. Yes, there are times that we might feel, as the "biological children" that more attention is being given to A and B. Yes we may strike out occasionally and just feel frustrated. When it comes down to it, though, we forget how lucky we are. We forget that we are blessed to have such a loving, kind and generous mother. We forget that we are not expected to change to fit their mold but they are evolving to fit into their family. Yes, they have to learn to "speak our language" but we could also help them to mesh more easily if we learned a little bit of their language as well.
Contrary to what we seem to put on our up-and-coming citizens (those that are here legally doing everything they can to take care of their families), they do not have to give up their heritage. They don't have to change who they are. They are allowed to keep their heritage. They are encouraged to keep their adapt to our culture, learn new customs and pledge allegiance to our flag but that doesn't mean that they can't still have a love for their past. While they should follow our laws, love our country and be thankful for their freedom, they can also still celebrate their home country's holidays. While they should learn to speak our language, they should still be able to speak their language as well.
So the next time you judge someone who is working their ass off to become a citizen of our beautiful country, take a step back and remember this.
Friday, June 24, 2016
Humility
I had a major "bite your tongue" moment yesterday when a friend posted a "gofundme" account. This doesn't infuriate me because of the content but because last year, at this exact time, I posted a "gofundme" link for a close friend whose house was leveled in a tornado. I was given crap by this friend because "insurance pays for that stuff" and "more people were affected than just her so why does SHE deserve money?" This friend gave me a real verbal punch for my "favoritism" to this girl, although she was one of only a few in the town that literally lost EVERYTHING (not just damage but literally EVERYTHING). In fact, she is still displaced...her house is under construction but she is still, over a year later, not back home. The accusor (as in, the friend who gave me crap) posted a "gofundme" for a victim of the recent tornadoes whose house was leveled. She picked one out of all of these victims who lost everything and gave her favor.
At first I was furious. I was ready to give her the same verbal punch and tell her that she was hypocritical for what she did. I was ready to spew hate from my mouth over feeling that she had been so unfair to me. And then it hit me....
God has a funny way of humbling you sometimes. Was this friend completely unfair in the attack on my post last year? Yes. Was she being hypocritical by doing the same thing now? Yes. But it doesn't matter, in the long run. It doesn't matter a bit. The bigger picture is that both of those families (the one I posted and the one she posted) DO need a helping hand. The bigger picture is that she, now, understands that my post wasn't about singling out or showing favoritism; it was about helping someone who'd lost everything. The bigger picture is that our friendship is more important to me than being right. The bigger picture is that God humbled her heart so that she would learn a lesson and it was not my place to "punish" her. The bigger picture is that God humbled MY heart, in that moment, to understand that it wasn't about me, at all.
You see, God has a way of allowing you to see the other side of the argument. What you were a victim of in the past, God will often allow you to be on the other side of. Sometimes, you realize that you were quick to judge and that you were not the victim that you thought you were. Sometimes you realize that you were definitely a victim BUT you make a better decision on how to handle it. Sometimes you handle the situation in the same negative way it was done to you. These situations aren't meant to punish you but to teach you. The situations aren't meant to make you pay but to make you pray. These situations are meant to let you know that it's not about you, sometimes....it's about a bigger picture.
So the next time you want to scream at someone's hypocrisy, take an emotional step back and look at the opportunity you have. God made be touching your heart . We are not designed to judge but to encourage and help.
At first I was furious. I was ready to give her the same verbal punch and tell her that she was hypocritical for what she did. I was ready to spew hate from my mouth over feeling that she had been so unfair to me. And then it hit me....
God has a funny way of humbling you sometimes. Was this friend completely unfair in the attack on my post last year? Yes. Was she being hypocritical by doing the same thing now? Yes. But it doesn't matter, in the long run. It doesn't matter a bit. The bigger picture is that both of those families (the one I posted and the one she posted) DO need a helping hand. The bigger picture is that she, now, understands that my post wasn't about singling out or showing favoritism; it was about helping someone who'd lost everything. The bigger picture is that our friendship is more important to me than being right. The bigger picture is that God humbled her heart so that she would learn a lesson and it was not my place to "punish" her. The bigger picture is that God humbled MY heart, in that moment, to understand that it wasn't about me, at all.
You see, God has a way of allowing you to see the other side of the argument. What you were a victim of in the past, God will often allow you to be on the other side of. Sometimes, you realize that you were quick to judge and that you were not the victim that you thought you were. Sometimes you realize that you were definitely a victim BUT you make a better decision on how to handle it. Sometimes you handle the situation in the same negative way it was done to you. These situations aren't meant to punish you but to teach you. The situations aren't meant to make you pay but to make you pray. These situations are meant to let you know that it's not about you, sometimes....it's about a bigger picture.
So the next time you want to scream at someone's hypocrisy, take an emotional step back and look at the opportunity you have. God made be touching your heart . We are not designed to judge but to encourage and help.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Wings Over the Rockies Air & Space Museum
I took a little trip to the "Wings Over the Rockies" Museum yesterday just to explore and ended up falling in love with the facility. Here's why....
Facility: It was clean, open and spaced well. There were so many planes to look at and, yet, I didn't feel like I was crowded at any point or that I was unable to fully explore the details of the plane. You may not be allowed to climb in to the cockpit but you are definitely close enough to get a very real understanding of how big and gorgeous these planes are.
Content: I felt like there was an incredible variety of planes to look at. The placards by them gave thorough information and very interesting little tidbits, as well.
Staff: While I didn't have a ton of interaction on my self-guided tour, the interactions I did have were pleasant and very able to give me information, not only about the planes but about other exhibits that might peak my interest.
Bathrooms: The bathrooms were clean and well-stocked.
Favorite exhibit: By far, my favorite was the unexpected but awesome Star Wars X Wing fighter. It was so cool to see in person and life sized!
Negatives? I honestly can't say that there were any. The admission was $12.50 for adults and they offer annual memberships if you want to frequently return.
Will I be returning..... Absolutely. No question!
If you would like to visit, here is the website address to learn about the location, admission prices and more.....
http://wingsmuseum.org/
Facility: It was clean, open and spaced well. There were so many planes to look at and, yet, I didn't feel like I was crowded at any point or that I was unable to fully explore the details of the plane. You may not be allowed to climb in to the cockpit but you are definitely close enough to get a very real understanding of how big and gorgeous these planes are.
Content: I felt like there was an incredible variety of planes to look at. The placards by them gave thorough information and very interesting little tidbits, as well.
Staff: While I didn't have a ton of interaction on my self-guided tour, the interactions I did have were pleasant and very able to give me information, not only about the planes but about other exhibits that might peak my interest.
Bathrooms: The bathrooms were clean and well-stocked.
Favorite exhibit: By far, my favorite was the unexpected but awesome Star Wars X Wing fighter. It was so cool to see in person and life sized!
Negatives? I honestly can't say that there were any. The admission was $12.50 for adults and they offer annual memberships if you want to frequently return.
Will I be returning..... Absolutely. No question!
If you would like to visit, here is the website address to learn about the location, admission prices and more.....
http://wingsmuseum.org/
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Michael Jackson
There was a report released yesterday from radaronline (an entertainment gossip website) with "documents" (allegedly accurate documents) from Santa Barbara police dept detailing massive collections of pornographic material found at Neverland Ranch (Michael Jackson's home). Immediately, people have jumped on this bandwagon with "I knew it" and "he was a molestor." I'm attacking my opinion on this right away because it's relatively strong.....
1. Your choice of what to believe or not believe is up to you. I'm not going to change that. What I will say is that I would, personally, wait until a source a little more reliable than radaronline releases this information. I will not decide on whether or not I believe this "fact" until a more reliable source releases it.
2. If he DID have piles of child pornography and such, shame on him. It's sick and absolutely mortifyingly disgusting. I'm sure that there are parents, right now, hearing this report and wondering if they put their child in a dangerous situation allowing him to go to Neverland Ranch. This particular report doesn't claim that he molested children. However, if this report is accurate, I would be having serious doubts as to whether he was rightfully acquitted years before his death.
3. His kids. Oh my goodness, his children. They already had a very confusing life that required complete secrecy. They already had so much to do to try to get through the death of their father. Now this. His poor children. That's my first and strongest thought on this....his poor, poor children.
4. Why now? I go back to #3. He died in 2009. Why would you choose to bring this up now? What good is this going to do? Why are they still smearing his name? If this was going to bring forth some positive results, I might see why but I just don't see it happening. Now his children are left to try to process this information being made public. Why?
5. Don't jump to conclusions. "Entertainment gossip" website and magazines absolutely hammered Patsy Ramsey following her daughter JonBenet's death. They did it nonstop and even following her death....and they were wrong. DNA evidence has clearly proven they were wrong. Don't assume that this is true until you see it with your own two eyes.
6. If this is found to be an untrue story, I hope a few things happen. I hope that radaronline has to publicly announce their retraction. I hope that there is a serious apology issued, particularly to his family. Most importantly, I hope that every single person that posted to social media will take the time to repost the retraction and admit that they were wrong to assume this.
and finally....
7. I wish they would just let Michael rest in peace. Maybe he was a sick individual and maybe he was just reliving the childhood he never got to have. Maybe his childhood warped him so much that he couldn't recover and maybe his childhood simply made him unable to truly grow up. None of us will ever know the entirety but I can only wish that they would just let him rest peacefully.
To those arguing that he's a monster and you shouldn't listen to his music, etc, I say the following..... Have you ever had a rumor started about you that completely changed the way people look at you? Maybe there was some truth in it. Maybe it was a completely false and unfounded rumor. Whatever the case may be, you were probably upset that no one took the time to talk to you and find out the truth. Maybe you should exercise that same idea here. Wait until a real source (not a gossip website) releases this information and then make your decision. Go to the source. That is all.
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Offended Just to be Offended
I just saw a post that made my blood boil (well, simmer, not boil) and I'd like to set the record straight. The post said that "Father's Day is offensive to same sex couples and single moms." The writer could not be more wrong, in my opinion. Here's why....
Okay, I preface by saying that I am a supporter of gay marriage. I get ridiculed by fellow Christians on this but it is where I stand. I have lived the single mom life; believe me, I get it...more than you know. This is not meant to put down either of these "groups" of people.
Father's Day is a celebration of dads. What started as celebrating only dads (and grandpas) has now become dads of fur babies, step dads, father figures, guardians, and such. Like Mother's Day, it's mostly a Hallmark holiday (in my opinion). It's a good opportunity to recognize the people who raised you. What it is NOT is a regulated holiday. In short, no one is coming around to every house making sure that you're ONLY celebrating fathers. No one is putting a tracking number on your greeting card to make certain that it's delivered to a dad. If you think that your partner should be celebrated, CELEBRATE. If you think a single mom should be celebrated on that day, CELEBRATE. No one is stopping you and the idea that it's offensive to these "groups" is absurd. I seriously doubt that the majority of these individuals share the opinion.
Furthermore, there is another day to be able to celebrate the moms....Mother's Day. Trying to argue that moms should be celebrated on Father's Day is like arguing that new parents should be celebrated on Grandparent's Day...it just doesn't make sense. Yes, I get that single moms and lesbian couples are both "filling a father's role" but they aren't fathers any more than a single father is a mom. I don't hear the same argument being made for single fathers on Mother's Day. If you truly want to honor a single mom for her "dual role", celebrate double on Mother's Day. Better yet, watch her kids so she can get a massage...or shower without being interrupted. Believe me, most single moms are NOT looking to be "honored" on Father's Day...they're just trying to get through the day. They likely are not the ones making the argument this post's author was.
If you really want to make a stink about who does or doesn't deserve a celebratory Fathers Day (or Mother's Day), why not focus on deadbeat parents? A whole mess of these parents celebrate and expect to be recognized simply for contributing to a child's birth instead of truly contributing to their lives. So "offended" post author, let me put it to you simply....suck it up buttercup. Focus your attention elsewhere. You just sound ridiculous.
Okay, I preface by saying that I am a supporter of gay marriage. I get ridiculed by fellow Christians on this but it is where I stand. I have lived the single mom life; believe me, I get it...more than you know. This is not meant to put down either of these "groups" of people.
Father's Day is a celebration of dads. What started as celebrating only dads (and grandpas) has now become dads of fur babies, step dads, father figures, guardians, and such. Like Mother's Day, it's mostly a Hallmark holiday (in my opinion). It's a good opportunity to recognize the people who raised you. What it is NOT is a regulated holiday. In short, no one is coming around to every house making sure that you're ONLY celebrating fathers. No one is putting a tracking number on your greeting card to make certain that it's delivered to a dad. If you think that your partner should be celebrated, CELEBRATE. If you think a single mom should be celebrated on that day, CELEBRATE. No one is stopping you and the idea that it's offensive to these "groups" is absurd. I seriously doubt that the majority of these individuals share the opinion.
Furthermore, there is another day to be able to celebrate the moms....Mother's Day. Trying to argue that moms should be celebrated on Father's Day is like arguing that new parents should be celebrated on Grandparent's Day...it just doesn't make sense. Yes, I get that single moms and lesbian couples are both "filling a father's role" but they aren't fathers any more than a single father is a mom. I don't hear the same argument being made for single fathers on Mother's Day. If you truly want to honor a single mom for her "dual role", celebrate double on Mother's Day. Better yet, watch her kids so she can get a massage...or shower without being interrupted. Believe me, most single moms are NOT looking to be "honored" on Father's Day...they're just trying to get through the day. They likely are not the ones making the argument this post's author was.
If you really want to make a stink about who does or doesn't deserve a celebratory Fathers Day (or Mother's Day), why not focus on deadbeat parents? A whole mess of these parents celebrate and expect to be recognized simply for contributing to a child's birth instead of truly contributing to their lives. So "offended" post author, let me put it to you simply....suck it up buttercup. Focus your attention elsewhere. You just sound ridiculous.
Monday, June 20, 2016
Hate Breeds Hate; it will never change the world
One of the biggest things that I've had to learn in my adult years is that before I assume something based on limited information, I should research all sides of it. It has led me to learn more about other cultures, religions, and people, in general. I don't want to just assume because of what someone has told me. I don't just want to form an opinion to be part of a crowd. I want to learn about the differences that people have so that I can also find the things that we share. Why is this so important to me? Because.....
Hate will NEVER create more love; it only creates more hate.
In the vast majority of cases, hatred is caused by ignorance. People don't care to educate themselves on something so they just choose to dislike it instead. It's the adult equivalent of kids not wanting to eat their veggies: it's different and they assume they won't like it so they won't touch it. We tend, as adults, to sometimes decide that we don't like something without even having all of the information. We don't want to take the time to learn about it. We feel like different is hard, different is bad. We preach about changing the world but we forget that changing the world would require changes in ourselves and in our lives.....differences.
One of the biggest clashes of late seems to be religion (though this argument has been around since the dawn of time) or lack thereof. It exists in all religions, to some extent. After all religion is based on faith. In short, you believe that what/who you worship will bring good things into your life. You also believe, though, that every other religion has it wrong. Some religions believe that all other religions are below them. Some religions believe that we are all equal. Some believe only believers will get into Heaven, some believe in only chosen people getting there, some believe that you have to earn your way there and some believe that there isn't an afterlife because of reincarnation. Every religion believes that they are the only one that is right. Atheists believe there is no god. Agnostics are unsure of the existence of God.
Then there are those of us that exist without specific religion. I am a Christian and, yet, I don't particularly like the idea of organized religion because of how corrupt it has become. I don't expect everyone to believe as I believe. In fact, I believe that God speaks to different people in very different ways. Why would he do that? Simple...God created us to be such extraordinarily different people that he needs to speak to us in extraordinarily different ways. I believe that it is much the same as how parents of multiple children have to encourage and discipline different kids. You see, we all feel and express love a little bit differently.
Religious people can often have a tendency to be judgmental. They blame it on a book or their belief system. If you do this, you're not a good enough (fill in the blank with the religion). If you don't do that, you're not a good enough (fill in the blank with the religion). Then, add in atheists and agnostics who love to sound off on whether or not you're a good enough Christian (for example) because you do or don't do this or that. And what it all comes down to is ignorance. None of us know enough to truly make a solid judgment. We just don't. All we are doing by spreading this judgement on whether a person or a religion is right or wrong is spreading hatred....making a bigger precipice to fall into.
What if we all just took the time to learn? Instead of assuming that all Christians are this or all Muslims are that or all Buddhists are this way or all Jewish people are that way, what if we truly took the time to learn? What if we immersed ourselves in learning? What if we read what they read without assumptions? What if we TALKED to people of that faith and learned about what they believe and what they practice? What if we learned about their holidays and customs? What if we learned about their stances on the very issues that we make assumptions on now? What if we battled intolerance with education? What if we stopped being ignorant and started being intelligent?
You see, we will never change the world by hiding in a hole, believing that we already have all of the information that we will ever need by the time we are adults. We will only change the world when we change ourselves and dedicate our lives to learning.
Hate will NEVER create more love; it only creates more hate.
In the vast majority of cases, hatred is caused by ignorance. People don't care to educate themselves on something so they just choose to dislike it instead. It's the adult equivalent of kids not wanting to eat their veggies: it's different and they assume they won't like it so they won't touch it. We tend, as adults, to sometimes decide that we don't like something without even having all of the information. We don't want to take the time to learn about it. We feel like different is hard, different is bad. We preach about changing the world but we forget that changing the world would require changes in ourselves and in our lives.....differences.
One of the biggest clashes of late seems to be religion (though this argument has been around since the dawn of time) or lack thereof. It exists in all religions, to some extent. After all religion is based on faith. In short, you believe that what/who you worship will bring good things into your life. You also believe, though, that every other religion has it wrong. Some religions believe that all other religions are below them. Some religions believe that we are all equal. Some believe only believers will get into Heaven, some believe in only chosen people getting there, some believe that you have to earn your way there and some believe that there isn't an afterlife because of reincarnation. Every religion believes that they are the only one that is right. Atheists believe there is no god. Agnostics are unsure of the existence of God.
Then there are those of us that exist without specific religion. I am a Christian and, yet, I don't particularly like the idea of organized religion because of how corrupt it has become. I don't expect everyone to believe as I believe. In fact, I believe that God speaks to different people in very different ways. Why would he do that? Simple...God created us to be such extraordinarily different people that he needs to speak to us in extraordinarily different ways. I believe that it is much the same as how parents of multiple children have to encourage and discipline different kids. You see, we all feel and express love a little bit differently.
Religious people can often have a tendency to be judgmental. They blame it on a book or their belief system. If you do this, you're not a good enough (fill in the blank with the religion). If you don't do that, you're not a good enough (fill in the blank with the religion). Then, add in atheists and agnostics who love to sound off on whether or not you're a good enough Christian (for example) because you do or don't do this or that. And what it all comes down to is ignorance. None of us know enough to truly make a solid judgment. We just don't. All we are doing by spreading this judgement on whether a person or a religion is right or wrong is spreading hatred....making a bigger precipice to fall into.
What if we all just took the time to learn? Instead of assuming that all Christians are this or all Muslims are that or all Buddhists are this way or all Jewish people are that way, what if we truly took the time to learn? What if we immersed ourselves in learning? What if we read what they read without assumptions? What if we TALKED to people of that faith and learned about what they believe and what they practice? What if we learned about their holidays and customs? What if we learned about their stances on the very issues that we make assumptions on now? What if we battled intolerance with education? What if we stopped being ignorant and started being intelligent?
You see, we will never change the world by hiding in a hole, believing that we already have all of the information that we will ever need by the time we are adults. We will only change the world when we change ourselves and dedicate our lives to learning.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Happy Father's Day
Happy Father's Day....
I don't know that we always take the time to give enough props to the fathers of this nation. We spend so much time focusing on the deadbeat dads and un-involved dads that we forget to recognize that dads that are doing it right. So today, THAT is who this post is for. It's not for the dads that stop paying child support and run out. It's not for the dads that were not in the kids' lives by choice. It's not for the dads that would sooner play a round of golf than attend their son's first baseball game. This is for the dads that are doing it right.
Thank you.
I guess that's the first thing we, as moms, want to say. Thank you. Sometimes we get so frazzled in our day to day life that we forget to really say it. Thank you for listening to us when we rant about the empty toilet paper roll again. Thank you for doing your very best to be there at every game, every time. Thank you for learning minecraft when it's the only thing the boy wanted to talk about. Thank you for getting up with our little one that had a nightmare. Thank you for picking up the puker from school. Thank you for everything you do.
Maybe you're a biological dad. Maybe you're a boyfriend or husband that has taken on that roll. Maybe you're a stepfather. Maybe you're a grandfather stepping up to the plate in the absence of an absent parent. It doesn't matter to us. You're all important. You're daddies, papas, grandpas, Poppy's, Gramps, and every other name you're given. You're important...more important than you can imagine.
We love you. Thank you for being such great influences for the next generation!
I don't know that we always take the time to give enough props to the fathers of this nation. We spend so much time focusing on the deadbeat dads and un-involved dads that we forget to recognize that dads that are doing it right. So today, THAT is who this post is for. It's not for the dads that stop paying child support and run out. It's not for the dads that were not in the kids' lives by choice. It's not for the dads that would sooner play a round of golf than attend their son's first baseball game. This is for the dads that are doing it right.
Thank you.
I guess that's the first thing we, as moms, want to say. Thank you. Sometimes we get so frazzled in our day to day life that we forget to really say it. Thank you for listening to us when we rant about the empty toilet paper roll again. Thank you for doing your very best to be there at every game, every time. Thank you for learning minecraft when it's the only thing the boy wanted to talk about. Thank you for getting up with our little one that had a nightmare. Thank you for picking up the puker from school. Thank you for everything you do.
Maybe you're a biological dad. Maybe you're a boyfriend or husband that has taken on that roll. Maybe you're a stepfather. Maybe you're a grandfather stepping up to the plate in the absence of an absent parent. It doesn't matter to us. You're all important. You're daddies, papas, grandpas, Poppy's, Gramps, and every other name you're given. You're important...more important than you can imagine.
We love you. Thank you for being such great influences for the next generation!
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Zoos Can Be a Positive Thing
I have heard a whole lot of flack given to zoos lately. I hear arguments that these animals are not aggressive outside of zoo walls. I hear arguments that these animals shouldn't be locked up to begin with. I hear arguments that if you go to the zoo, you are supporting animal cruelty. Here is food for thought to the contrary....
*Did you know that accredited zoos contribute over $150 million to conversation efforts in 130 different countries? You see, visiting an accredited zoo is actually contributing to conservation of these animals.
*Most of these accredited zoos actually support and work with projects for the Species Survival Program.
*For a whole lot of people, coming to the zoo can be an educational experience. For instance, Denver Zoo has volunteers that educate on global warming and how it affects the polar bears.
*Accredited zoos actually have "reintroduction to the wild" programs.
*Accredited zoos actually research not only the animals but also ecosystem conservation . In short, if we preserve the ecosystem in which these animals live, we are helping to preserve the species themselves.
Yes, we have a ways to go but remember that they ARE making a difference, albeit a small one. If you truly want to help, make sure you are seeking out an accredited zoo and keep pushing. Keep striving to make them give more. Use your zoo experiences to truly learn about the animals and then take that knowledge home to educate others, learn more and do more yourself!
I'm not saying whether zoos are right or wrong. I'm simply saying that they CAN be a truly educational experience for many. They can inspire children to learn to love animals and, in turn, become veterinarians, scientists, and many other great things to support the animal community.
*Did you know that accredited zoos contribute over $150 million to conversation efforts in 130 different countries? You see, visiting an accredited zoo is actually contributing to conservation of these animals.
*Most of these accredited zoos actually support and work with projects for the Species Survival Program.
*For a whole lot of people, coming to the zoo can be an educational experience. For instance, Denver Zoo has volunteers that educate on global warming and how it affects the polar bears.
*Accredited zoos actually have "reintroduction to the wild" programs.
*Accredited zoos actually research not only the animals but also ecosystem conservation . In short, if we preserve the ecosystem in which these animals live, we are helping to preserve the species themselves.
Yes, we have a ways to go but remember that they ARE making a difference, albeit a small one. If you truly want to help, make sure you are seeking out an accredited zoo and keep pushing. Keep striving to make them give more. Use your zoo experiences to truly learn about the animals and then take that knowledge home to educate others, learn more and do more yourself!
I'm not saying whether zoos are right or wrong. I'm simply saying that they CAN be a truly educational experience for many. They can inspire children to learn to love animals and, in turn, become veterinarians, scientists, and many other great things to support the animal community.
Choose to Educate Wisely
Let me paint you a picture of a recent conversation I had. This took place between myself and an individual that we will call "Lucy". Now Lucy is a pet owner. In fact, she owns every different pet you can buy from a good shelter (cats, dogs, hamsters, gerbils, lizards, turtles, etc). She is choosing not to have children, marry, etc.
Lucy: I just unfriended someone on Facebook because they're bragging about their cat having a litter of unplanned kittens. It's bullshit.
Me: I don't know that they were bragging. They're trying to find a new home for unplanned kittens.
Lucy: There should BE no such thing as unplanned kittens. Their cats should have been fixed. They should have been taken care of.
Me: Agree but sometimes stuff happens.
Lucy: There is NO excuse. There are too many unwanted animals in this world. It's just like kids. No one should be HAVING kids when there are so many kids that need adopted. The world is over crowded.
Me: Having 17 animals in your little house could be argued, by some, as being the same concept....overcrowding. There's balance in everything. The world requires it to function well.
Lucy: Typical of a breeder to say.
Okay, lady, let me get something straight. You're allowed to judge more than half of the free world that has kids but I'm not allowed to point out your contradictory lifestyle.You see, the "Lucy's" of the world are giving real animal activist educators a bad name. If your purpose is truly to educate others in order to make animals of the world protected, you aren't going to do it by being a judgmental hag. I've posted on this before.
So please spare me your animal rights speech if you're going to do the following.....
Have a house full of animals in which you leave feces all over your yard without scooping them up. This isn't any more safe or sanitary for the animals than the cause you preach against.
Feed said house full of animals cheap food that isn't nutritionally sound and then complain about how animals in other people's homes aren't properly cared for.
or more than that....
Yell at people for having kids instead of adopting. It's a choice.
Judge people for choosing to have kids at all instead of just adopting animals.
Tell anyone that DOES adopt an animal that they're adopting from the wrong place.
Tell anyone that chooses to go to a zoo that they are ruining the world.
Refuse to listen to anyone else's position on the topic and just speak like some sort of paid expert or god on a topic.
Please, please, please choose to continue to educate people on animal safety and conservatism but please, please, please don't wash out any influence you may have on them by being a judgmental asshole.
Lucy: I just unfriended someone on Facebook because they're bragging about their cat having a litter of unplanned kittens. It's bullshit.
Me: I don't know that they were bragging. They're trying to find a new home for unplanned kittens.
Lucy: There should BE no such thing as unplanned kittens. Their cats should have been fixed. They should have been taken care of.
Me: Agree but sometimes stuff happens.
Lucy: There is NO excuse. There are too many unwanted animals in this world. It's just like kids. No one should be HAVING kids when there are so many kids that need adopted. The world is over crowded.
Me: Having 17 animals in your little house could be argued, by some, as being the same concept....overcrowding. There's balance in everything. The world requires it to function well.
Lucy: Typical of a breeder to say.
Okay, lady, let me get something straight. You're allowed to judge more than half of the free world that has kids but I'm not allowed to point out your contradictory lifestyle.You see, the "Lucy's" of the world are giving real animal activist educators a bad name. If your purpose is truly to educate others in order to make animals of the world protected, you aren't going to do it by being a judgmental hag. I've posted on this before.
So please spare me your animal rights speech if you're going to do the following.....
Have a house full of animals in which you leave feces all over your yard without scooping them up. This isn't any more safe or sanitary for the animals than the cause you preach against.
Feed said house full of animals cheap food that isn't nutritionally sound and then complain about how animals in other people's homes aren't properly cared for.
or more than that....
Yell at people for having kids instead of adopting. It's a choice.
Judge people for choosing to have kids at all instead of just adopting animals.
Tell anyone that DOES adopt an animal that they're adopting from the wrong place.
Tell anyone that chooses to go to a zoo that they are ruining the world.
Refuse to listen to anyone else's position on the topic and just speak like some sort of paid expert or god on a topic.
Please, please, please choose to continue to educate people on animal safety and conservatism but please, please, please don't wash out any influence you may have on them by being a judgmental asshole.
Thursday, June 16, 2016
"Ask the Gays"....my stomach is turning at this phrase
Okay, I need to sound off for a moment on something. I don't try to swing anybody toward either political party. I certainly don't think that EITHER party is without some MAJOR issues and, frankly, I think politicians are just apes in suits, in general. What was designed, by our founding fathers, to be a political process that allowed the people to choose has become a complicated web of bribery, lies and unfounded promises. So before you read this, understand that I'm not saying that this candidate is good or bad. I'm not telling you to vote or not vote for him. I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion but I'm over the politically correct "look the other way" response for this.
Donald Trump, in a speech, used the phrase "ask the gays" who would be a better president for the LGBT community. I'm not one that is easily offended. I'm also not a member of the LGBT community but I am a supporter of their rights and, let's face it, a supporter of human decency. As Trump supporters try to pat this down and pretend like it's not a big deal, I am furious that this is considered acceptable. At what point did this become acceptable speech for a Presidential candidate to use? Why are we okay with this?
Throughout his whole walk with this Presidential process, people have overlooked his comments saying that "he says it like it is." And it's true. He says it like it is....in his own mind. I understand that the country is angry at the way that things are. We have a right to be, frankly. We are watching our freedoms flee on a daily basis. There is a whole lot of the tap dance routine that Trump has put on (and, yes, I refer to ALL political candidates' activities as song and dance) that I like the sound of. I would love our economy to be turned around and I honestly believe he could achieve that in a whole lot of ways. What I DON'T agree with is this "tell it like it is", no tact approach to everything. It's unacceptable and it's dangerous to our connections to the rest of the world.
This particular time, it was "ask the gays." Well, guess what.... referring to a group of people that have fought for rights for decades as "the gays" is not something I want from a Presidential candidate. You'll have to forgive me if I'm not a supporter of speaking about people in a manner. I tend to think that a President should be someone that I can encourage my kids to look up to. Are Presidents without flaws? Of course not! Overall, though, I'd like to think that the man (or woman, as it stands) that represents our country should be someone that encourages UNITY. I'd like to think that our President should have integrity, some degree of poise and intelligence. I want to see someone bring our nation together, not tear us apart. I want to see someone have respect for ALL groups, not refer to them as "the gays" or anything even close to that.
Am I saying you shouldn't vote for him? No. What I am saying is that if you're voting for him regardless of him saying these things, you're encouraging this talk to continue. You may think it's funny or acceptable when it is not referring to a group you're a part of. Maybe you're okay with it. What about when it becomes a group that you ARE a part of? Will you still be so supportive of this continued speech pattern? Why are we not demanding more of our candidates? Why are we not telling the candidates that we support, "Hey! Not cool! That is unacceptable and you need to educate yourself a bit more on the topic if you even dream that it's an acceptable way to speak to or about people." I'm not all about being PC but I am DEFINITELY about respecting people.
Look, when it comes down to it, this is just wrong. Donald Trump's ignorant (and I'm using it as lack of knowledge on particular topics that he speaks on) speech pattern that is deemed "telling it like it is" is not acceptable, in my book. He needs to shape up and, perhaps, show a little bit of tact or, God forbid, compassion toward the people of our country. I know that this phrase will probably be covered up by his supporters and blown off, as the rest of them have, but this girl is waiting for him to apologize for his brash talk to a group of people that just want to have the same rights as everyone else.
Donald Trump, in a speech, used the phrase "ask the gays" who would be a better president for the LGBT community. I'm not one that is easily offended. I'm also not a member of the LGBT community but I am a supporter of their rights and, let's face it, a supporter of human decency. As Trump supporters try to pat this down and pretend like it's not a big deal, I am furious that this is considered acceptable. At what point did this become acceptable speech for a Presidential candidate to use? Why are we okay with this?
Throughout his whole walk with this Presidential process, people have overlooked his comments saying that "he says it like it is." And it's true. He says it like it is....in his own mind. I understand that the country is angry at the way that things are. We have a right to be, frankly. We are watching our freedoms flee on a daily basis. There is a whole lot of the tap dance routine that Trump has put on (and, yes, I refer to ALL political candidates' activities as song and dance) that I like the sound of. I would love our economy to be turned around and I honestly believe he could achieve that in a whole lot of ways. What I DON'T agree with is this "tell it like it is", no tact approach to everything. It's unacceptable and it's dangerous to our connections to the rest of the world.
This particular time, it was "ask the gays." Well, guess what.... referring to a group of people that have fought for rights for decades as "the gays" is not something I want from a Presidential candidate. You'll have to forgive me if I'm not a supporter of speaking about people in a manner. I tend to think that a President should be someone that I can encourage my kids to look up to. Are Presidents without flaws? Of course not! Overall, though, I'd like to think that the man (or woman, as it stands) that represents our country should be someone that encourages UNITY. I'd like to think that our President should have integrity, some degree of poise and intelligence. I want to see someone bring our nation together, not tear us apart. I want to see someone have respect for ALL groups, not refer to them as "the gays" or anything even close to that.
Am I saying you shouldn't vote for him? No. What I am saying is that if you're voting for him regardless of him saying these things, you're encouraging this talk to continue. You may think it's funny or acceptable when it is not referring to a group you're a part of. Maybe you're okay with it. What about when it becomes a group that you ARE a part of? Will you still be so supportive of this continued speech pattern? Why are we not demanding more of our candidates? Why are we not telling the candidates that we support, "Hey! Not cool! That is unacceptable and you need to educate yourself a bit more on the topic if you even dream that it's an acceptable way to speak to or about people." I'm not all about being PC but I am DEFINITELY about respecting people.
Look, when it comes down to it, this is just wrong. Donald Trump's ignorant (and I'm using it as lack of knowledge on particular topics that he speaks on) speech pattern that is deemed "telling it like it is" is not acceptable, in my book. He needs to shape up and, perhaps, show a little bit of tact or, God forbid, compassion toward the people of our country. I know that this phrase will probably be covered up by his supporters and blown off, as the rest of them have, but this girl is waiting for him to apologize for his brash talk to a group of people that just want to have the same rights as everyone else.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Sometimes They're Just Being Assholes
There's a viral video talking about how sometimes it's more important to give your child what they need rather than what they deserve. It's a touching video and is absolutely true. There are times that your children are acting out because they're stressed or sad or a million other emotions. THESE are the time that you can absolutely act out this video's theme.
And then there's the time when your teenager is just being an asshole....
Yes, I said it. Sometimes your kid is just being an asshole. We can give it about a thousand reasons using everything from hormones to peer pressure. You'd be absolutely accurate that those things affect your once-peaceful child. It's an explanation, but it's not an excuse to be a jerk. This is especially true when you can see their devil horns emerging as they scream at you for why their white t shirt isn't clean yet and then turn around and speak quietly and kindly to Grandma when she drops in for a surprise visit.
Despite what they might have you doubting, hormones don't make you uncontrollable. Peer pressure doesn't force you to be an undeniable butthead. There are times when your teenager is making the choice to yell at you because they can. There are times when they're choosing to speak venom into your life because they can. They choose to roll their eyes and treat you like poo on their shoe because...wait for it....they can. Teenagers can be real assholes sometimes.
Here's the good news.....
It doesn't last forever. Their eyes will eventually re-center and stop rolling "uncontrollably" every time you speak. Their tone will eventually mellow from harsh accusation to conversational tone. Their screams will eventually turn into questions on how to manage the things that are going on in their lives. This, too, shall pass.
I, often, compare teenagers to overgrown toddlers. They can be perfectly pleasant one minute and a screaming tantrummy mess the next. The truth, though, is that they're learning independence. They make AWFUL choices on exercising that sometimes. They strike out at you because they trust you and they know you'll forgive them, in the end. It DEFINITELY doesn't mean you have to lay down and accept it. What it does mean is that it's normal, it's fleeting and you'll be able to laugh about it someday....down the road.....with your gray hair.
Until then, pour yourself a glass of wine and try to relax over the sound of stressful teenage rants.
And then there's the time when your teenager is just being an asshole....
Yes, I said it. Sometimes your kid is just being an asshole. We can give it about a thousand reasons using everything from hormones to peer pressure. You'd be absolutely accurate that those things affect your once-peaceful child. It's an explanation, but it's not an excuse to be a jerk. This is especially true when you can see their devil horns emerging as they scream at you for why their white t shirt isn't clean yet and then turn around and speak quietly and kindly to Grandma when she drops in for a surprise visit.
Despite what they might have you doubting, hormones don't make you uncontrollable. Peer pressure doesn't force you to be an undeniable butthead. There are times when your teenager is making the choice to yell at you because they can. There are times when they're choosing to speak venom into your life because they can. They choose to roll their eyes and treat you like poo on their shoe because...wait for it....they can. Teenagers can be real assholes sometimes.
Here's the good news.....
It doesn't last forever. Their eyes will eventually re-center and stop rolling "uncontrollably" every time you speak. Their tone will eventually mellow from harsh accusation to conversational tone. Their screams will eventually turn into questions on how to manage the things that are going on in their lives. This, too, shall pass.
I, often, compare teenagers to overgrown toddlers. They can be perfectly pleasant one minute and a screaming tantrummy mess the next. The truth, though, is that they're learning independence. They make AWFUL choices on exercising that sometimes. They strike out at you because they trust you and they know you'll forgive them, in the end. It DEFINITELY doesn't mean you have to lay down and accept it. What it does mean is that it's normal, it's fleeting and you'll be able to laugh about it someday....down the road.....with your gray hair.
Until then, pour yourself a glass of wine and try to relax over the sound of stressful teenage rants.
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
5 Things You Can Teach Your Child to Make Them a Better Person
There are 5 things I believe that you can teach your kids VERY young that will make all the difference in their social relationships as they grow. We have no real control over what our children "become" as an adult but we can definitely impact their hearts and help them to be better people as they grow.
1. Compassion: Some kids are more compassionate than others, by nature. However, even those that aren't compassionate at their core can be taught some level of compassion. Volunteer. Do things that teach children that the world is bigger than their little bubble. Teach them to try to help when they can. Teach them to care when someone else hurts.
2. Integrity. Teach your children that it doesn't matter who's watching...it matters what you know in your heart. Most of the time, kids know right from wrong, on some level. The fact is that they are often "taught" by peers to hide things from adults and do wrong anyway. Teach your children not only to do what's right at their core but to encourage others to do it too.
3. Honesty. Teach them that it's better to tell the truth than it is to lie. Encourage them to understand that even if honesty gets them into a little bit of trouble, they'd be in more trouble if they lie. Encourage them to understand that honesty breeds trust and trust is essential in almost every relationship you have.
4. Personal responsibility. This is a big one. Instead of placing blame, accept the responsibility for what you've done wrong. A good portion of our country's issues is lack of personal responsibility. People seem to be more inclined to place blame and make excuses than they are to admit they've made a mistake. Mistakes happen...you learn from them. But, as Dr Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."
5. Respect. This can span a wide road. Yes, it applies to manners. Yes it applies to listening to teachers, etc. But this also is about respecting themselves. It's about respect others, in general. It's about understanding that people will have different opinions. It's understanding that others may choose a different lifestyle than you do and that's okay. It's understanding that the choices people make aren't who they are (though that does not mean the choices are without consequence, in some cases). It's about respect for life, as a whole.
These 5 things don't guarantee that someone will become a good person. They don't guarantee that they'll make good choices or end up successful. What it does guarantee is that this, combined with love, will get your child started on a great track.
1. Compassion: Some kids are more compassionate than others, by nature. However, even those that aren't compassionate at their core can be taught some level of compassion. Volunteer. Do things that teach children that the world is bigger than their little bubble. Teach them to try to help when they can. Teach them to care when someone else hurts.
2. Integrity. Teach your children that it doesn't matter who's watching...it matters what you know in your heart. Most of the time, kids know right from wrong, on some level. The fact is that they are often "taught" by peers to hide things from adults and do wrong anyway. Teach your children not only to do what's right at their core but to encourage others to do it too.
3. Honesty. Teach them that it's better to tell the truth than it is to lie. Encourage them to understand that even if honesty gets them into a little bit of trouble, they'd be in more trouble if they lie. Encourage them to understand that honesty breeds trust and trust is essential in almost every relationship you have.
4. Personal responsibility. This is a big one. Instead of placing blame, accept the responsibility for what you've done wrong. A good portion of our country's issues is lack of personal responsibility. People seem to be more inclined to place blame and make excuses than they are to admit they've made a mistake. Mistakes happen...you learn from them. But, as Dr Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."
5. Respect. This can span a wide road. Yes, it applies to manners. Yes it applies to listening to teachers, etc. But this also is about respecting themselves. It's about respect others, in general. It's about understanding that people will have different opinions. It's understanding that others may choose a different lifestyle than you do and that's okay. It's understanding that the choices people make aren't who they are (though that does not mean the choices are without consequence, in some cases). It's about respect for life, as a whole.
These 5 things don't guarantee that someone will become a good person. They don't guarantee that they'll make good choices or end up successful. What it does guarantee is that this, combined with love, will get your child started on a great track.
Monday, June 13, 2016
The Orlando Tragedy
The Orlando mass shooting happened yesterday. A devastating event that will forever be remembered. It's turned into a political debate. It's turned into a conversation about the gunman. I am choosing not to do that. I'm choosing not to make this a post of hate. I'm choosing not to make this a post of judgement. I want to go a different route.
I also don't want to focus on the LGBT aspect of this. I am devastated that this crime was committed in hatred of who someone chooses to love. The fact remains, though, that these individuals were so much more than sexual orientation. They had families and friends. Some of them had children. They had careers. They had accomplishments. They weren't just one small piece of the puzzle. They were people. During their lives, they didn't want to be judged by who they loved. Their lives matter not just because of one aspect but because of every aspect of who they were.
I don't want to place the focus on the firearm. Politicians are attacking from every angle on this but, in the end, it's not the gun that took these precious lives. It's not about gun control or gun laws or anything else. It's about something bigger....respect for human life. It's not whether or not he could access a gun; it's whether or not he chose to use that gun for the purpose that he did. He had no regard for their lives and it nauseates me to my core.
I don't want to focus on the ideology. This individual pledged allegiance to a terrorist group. For me, it's not about his religion. It never has been for me. Again, for me, this comes down to respect for human life. This man was born in our country, where we are blessed with the freedom to choose whatever religion we desire. We are blessed with the freedom to speak freely. We are blessed with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I'm just devastated that this man chose to end others' lives when exercising his freedom (in the most illegal way possible).
My desire, in all of this, is to remember the victims and to honor them. To each of the friends and families of those lives taken, I send my thoughts and prayers. To the LGBT community and the community around the venue, I am so sorry for your losses. To our country and those that fight for he freedom of choice, this is a terrible loss but we must keep up this fight.
Do not let your hearts be hardened by this. Do not allow this individual to spread his hatred. Do not allow his cause to shine through in this. Remember these individuals and honor them. Honor them with your own good deeds. Honor them as you pay it forward. Honor them as you fight for the freedom of every citizen of our country. Honor them as you walk about your daily life and debate but accept other's different opinions. Honor them as you do what this individual didn't do....respect life and celebrate individuality.
My condolences go out to these families. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I also don't want to focus on the LGBT aspect of this. I am devastated that this crime was committed in hatred of who someone chooses to love. The fact remains, though, that these individuals were so much more than sexual orientation. They had families and friends. Some of them had children. They had careers. They had accomplishments. They weren't just one small piece of the puzzle. They were people. During their lives, they didn't want to be judged by who they loved. Their lives matter not just because of one aspect but because of every aspect of who they were.
I don't want to place the focus on the firearm. Politicians are attacking from every angle on this but, in the end, it's not the gun that took these precious lives. It's not about gun control or gun laws or anything else. It's about something bigger....respect for human life. It's not whether or not he could access a gun; it's whether or not he chose to use that gun for the purpose that he did. He had no regard for their lives and it nauseates me to my core.
I don't want to focus on the ideology. This individual pledged allegiance to a terrorist group. For me, it's not about his religion. It never has been for me. Again, for me, this comes down to respect for human life. This man was born in our country, where we are blessed with the freedom to choose whatever religion we desire. We are blessed with the freedom to speak freely. We are blessed with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I'm just devastated that this man chose to end others' lives when exercising his freedom (in the most illegal way possible).
My desire, in all of this, is to remember the victims and to honor them. To each of the friends and families of those lives taken, I send my thoughts and prayers. To the LGBT community and the community around the venue, I am so sorry for your losses. To our country and those that fight for he freedom of choice, this is a terrible loss but we must keep up this fight.
Do not let your hearts be hardened by this. Do not allow this individual to spread his hatred. Do not allow his cause to shine through in this. Remember these individuals and honor them. Honor them with your own good deeds. Honor them as you pay it forward. Honor them as you fight for the freedom of every citizen of our country. Honor them as you walk about your daily life and debate but accept other's different opinions. Honor them as you do what this individual didn't do....respect life and celebrate individuality.
My condolences go out to these families. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Being an Advocate Doesn't Mean You Can Be a Bully
Okay, let me make something abundantly clear: standing up for what you believe in does NOT make you a douchenozzle. Sometimes, though, the method in which you choose to do so does. Let me tell you a little story....
I have a friend that we'll call "Mindy." Mindy is an animal lover. In fact, she's not just an animal lover; she's a vegan, dog foster parent, advocating animal lover. I love that about her. I love that she's so passionate about something so important. I don't always agree with her but I love that she is dedicating her life to something so important. However, Mindy has a major downfall. Mindy chooses to bully people if they disagree on ANYTHING regarding her cause....and I mean ANYTHING. She claims that it is in the interest of education but her method is absolutely, undeniably threatening. It's not that her message is wrong, persay, but her method of conveying it is actually hindering her purpose. In simpler terms, she's cutting off her nose to spite her face.
You see, Mindy standing up for what she believes in doesn't make her a jerk. The methods she chooses to do it, sometimes, though, do.
I love when people are passionate about something. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. However, I love the fact that we live in a country that allows us to explore and educate on our passions. All I'm saying is that we should be thinking of how we are educating others to support our cause. We should be reading, reading, and reading some more. We should be reading things that support our cause but also things that don't. After all, you don't know what you're debating until you have fully educated yourself on the other side of the argument.
We have to learn to respect other's opinions. Maybe they will agree with you after hearing your presentation. Maybe they won't. We have to learn to respect their opinion, even if we disagree. We have to learn not to bully others in the name of education. We have to learn to spread kindness, not ugliness. If we are REALLY trying to make the world a better place, we are not going to achieve it with a million cookie cutter people who were educated by a dictator (so to speak.) We will achieve it by understanding that our country is a melting pot and those differences is what makes us wonderful.
I have a friend that we'll call "Mindy." Mindy is an animal lover. In fact, she's not just an animal lover; she's a vegan, dog foster parent, advocating animal lover. I love that about her. I love that she's so passionate about something so important. I don't always agree with her but I love that she is dedicating her life to something so important. However, Mindy has a major downfall. Mindy chooses to bully people if they disagree on ANYTHING regarding her cause....and I mean ANYTHING. She claims that it is in the interest of education but her method is absolutely, undeniably threatening. It's not that her message is wrong, persay, but her method of conveying it is actually hindering her purpose. In simpler terms, she's cutting off her nose to spite her face.
You see, Mindy standing up for what she believes in doesn't make her a jerk. The methods she chooses to do it, sometimes, though, do.
I love when people are passionate about something. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. However, I love the fact that we live in a country that allows us to explore and educate on our passions. All I'm saying is that we should be thinking of how we are educating others to support our cause. We should be reading, reading, and reading some more. We should be reading things that support our cause but also things that don't. After all, you don't know what you're debating until you have fully educated yourself on the other side of the argument.
We have to learn to respect other's opinions. Maybe they will agree with you after hearing your presentation. Maybe they won't. We have to learn to respect their opinion, even if we disagree. We have to learn not to bully others in the name of education. We have to learn to spread kindness, not ugliness. If we are REALLY trying to make the world a better place, we are not going to achieve it with a million cookie cutter people who were educated by a dictator (so to speak.) We will achieve it by understanding that our country is a melting pot and those differences is what makes us wonderful.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
10 Ways to Be a Mean Mom
I sometimes get told by touchy feely moms that I'm a "mean mom" for being strict on my kids. I used to get really upset about it but I've learned to embrace it. One woman's "mean mom" is another woman's "keeping my sanity." Realistically the important part is that we have happy, healthy children, right? Not in our social media happy society. We must all agree...right? Not in my book.
So without further ado, my 10 ways to be a mean mom.
1. "Throw it away." My kids have each had the sting of the garbage bag to the bedroom. That's right. In my house, if you're warned to clean your room and choose not to, your belongings go to the thrift store. It's a hard lesson to learn but it's an effective one.
2. "Make them practice prioritizing." I am a firm believer that kids don't need a Toys R Us in their bedroom. When birthdays and Christmas start coming around, the kids and I go through their toys and other items and assess what they would be willing to donate. Then, when a holiday comes around, it's not so much clutter.
3. "Make them do chores....without pay." Yup, that's right. I'm the mean mom that has certain chores that I expect done without pay. Why? Because we work as a family and that means that everyone should contribute their very best.
4. "That may be what kids do but that's not what my kids do." My kids have heard this phrase more times than they care to say. They realize that their expectations are higher than the "let kids be kids" parents around them. Rules are rules. Period. I don't care what so-and-so's parents do.
5. "You don't have to like it but you have to accept it." Another frequently spoken phrase in our house. They used to debate it but, at this point, it's not even worth it to them anymore because they know what I'm going to say.
6. "Say no". While other parents are having "yes days" and not wanting to hurt their kids feelings, I understand that my job is to prepare them for the real world (while still nurturing them). The real world doesn't cater to their feelings all the time. Sometimes they need to hear the word "no."
7. "Make them eat their vegetables." I'm sorry but I just don't buy into cutting my kids' cucumbers into intricate little flowers to bribe them to eat it. I'm all for the "dip it in ranch" (or ketchup) if it helps you choke it down but the option is HOW to eat it, not whether to eat it. Yes, you are allowed to have a couple of veggies you don't like but you need to eat the vast majority.
8. "Demand respect." Now I use the term "demand" loosely. What I mean by this is that I find it perfectly acceptable to expect my children to respect their elders, their siblings, their friends, and their family. I expect for them to treat the janitor with the same level of respect as the CEO.
9. "Make them say please." I've been known to deny dessert, activities, and such to my kids if they start in with rude attitudes. I expect manners of all varieties including "yes ma'am" and "no sir" to adults. It's an important skill to learn in life.
and finally....
10. "Expect their best." Note that I didn't say to expect THE best but to expect THEIR best. You know your child and you know their abilities. Expect them to work at something with all of their effort and call them on it if they're slacking intentionally. You don't have to be a jerk but let them know that you know their potential. It may be an eye-roller on their part but they'll appreciate those votes of confidence as they age.
Look, if being a hardass is what works in my family, I'm okay with that. We have plenty of laughing, silly moments. We have a ton of "I'm so proud of you" moments and so many hugs and nurturing moments that I couldn't count them if I tried. That said, I'm also not afraid to balance that out with the discipline necessary (in my household) to make things run smoothly for everyone.....most of the time, anyway.
So without further ado, my 10 ways to be a mean mom.
1. "Throw it away." My kids have each had the sting of the garbage bag to the bedroom. That's right. In my house, if you're warned to clean your room and choose not to, your belongings go to the thrift store. It's a hard lesson to learn but it's an effective one.
2. "Make them practice prioritizing." I am a firm believer that kids don't need a Toys R Us in their bedroom. When birthdays and Christmas start coming around, the kids and I go through their toys and other items and assess what they would be willing to donate. Then, when a holiday comes around, it's not so much clutter.
3. "Make them do chores....without pay." Yup, that's right. I'm the mean mom that has certain chores that I expect done without pay. Why? Because we work as a family and that means that everyone should contribute their very best.
4. "That may be what kids do but that's not what my kids do." My kids have heard this phrase more times than they care to say. They realize that their expectations are higher than the "let kids be kids" parents around them. Rules are rules. Period. I don't care what so-and-so's parents do.
5. "You don't have to like it but you have to accept it." Another frequently spoken phrase in our house. They used to debate it but, at this point, it's not even worth it to them anymore because they know what I'm going to say.
6. "Say no". While other parents are having "yes days" and not wanting to hurt their kids feelings, I understand that my job is to prepare them for the real world (while still nurturing them). The real world doesn't cater to their feelings all the time. Sometimes they need to hear the word "no."
7. "Make them eat their vegetables." I'm sorry but I just don't buy into cutting my kids' cucumbers into intricate little flowers to bribe them to eat it. I'm all for the "dip it in ranch" (or ketchup) if it helps you choke it down but the option is HOW to eat it, not whether to eat it. Yes, you are allowed to have a couple of veggies you don't like but you need to eat the vast majority.
8. "Demand respect." Now I use the term "demand" loosely. What I mean by this is that I find it perfectly acceptable to expect my children to respect their elders, their siblings, their friends, and their family. I expect for them to treat the janitor with the same level of respect as the CEO.
9. "Make them say please." I've been known to deny dessert, activities, and such to my kids if they start in with rude attitudes. I expect manners of all varieties including "yes ma'am" and "no sir" to adults. It's an important skill to learn in life.
and finally....
10. "Expect their best." Note that I didn't say to expect THE best but to expect THEIR best. You know your child and you know their abilities. Expect them to work at something with all of their effort and call them on it if they're slacking intentionally. You don't have to be a jerk but let them know that you know their potential. It may be an eye-roller on their part but they'll appreciate those votes of confidence as they age.
Look, if being a hardass is what works in my family, I'm okay with that. We have plenty of laughing, silly moments. We have a ton of "I'm so proud of you" moments and so many hugs and nurturing moments that I couldn't count them if I tried. That said, I'm also not afraid to balance that out with the discipline necessary (in my household) to make things run smoothly for everyone.....most of the time, anyway.
Friday, June 10, 2016
Bees
So as the warm weather has finally reached most parts of the country, I'd like to discuss a topic that I find important.....bees.
I know, I know. Pests, right? Here are some things you might not know as you swat away and try to avoid bees in your yard......
*Bees are responsible for pollinating flowers and food. Yes, folks, the agricultural industry has nothing that comes close to doing this job. You like food, right? Without bees, 1/3 of our food staples would be gone.
*Your garden is made better by the bees. I know you find them pesky but they are responsible for making your garden beautiful as bee pollination perpetuates plant growth.
*Oh and by the way, the steak you love to eat....the plants the cows eat are pollinated by bees too.
Albert Einstein said, "“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years left to live.”
Think on that for just a second....
So the next time you're out in the yard complaining about bees and trying to find ways to kill them, take a minute and use a bit of caution instead. They generally aren't going to sting you just to sting. In fact, they are usually just exploring. Be still, let them realize you're not a flower and move on. Cover your drinks (and food) and know that these little guys are helping you out. Don't swat. Don't swing at them. Leave them bee (see what I did there?)
If you'd like to be aggressive, look at wasps instead. Those fuckers are into everything and they're mean as hell.
I know, I know. Pests, right? Here are some things you might not know as you swat away and try to avoid bees in your yard......
*Bees are responsible for pollinating flowers and food. Yes, folks, the agricultural industry has nothing that comes close to doing this job. You like food, right? Without bees, 1/3 of our food staples would be gone.
*Your garden is made better by the bees. I know you find them pesky but they are responsible for making your garden beautiful as bee pollination perpetuates plant growth.
*Oh and by the way, the steak you love to eat....the plants the cows eat are pollinated by bees too.
Albert Einstein said, "“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years left to live.”
Think on that for just a second....
So the next time you're out in the yard complaining about bees and trying to find ways to kill them, take a minute and use a bit of caution instead. They generally aren't going to sting you just to sting. In fact, they are usually just exploring. Be still, let them realize you're not a flower and move on. Cover your drinks (and food) and know that these little guys are helping you out. Don't swat. Don't swing at them. Leave them bee (see what I did there?)
If you'd like to be aggressive, look at wasps instead. Those fuckers are into everything and they're mean as hell.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Despicable Crimes: Brock Turner
Let's discuss, for a moment, Brock Turner (the Stanford rapist). I am absolutely appalled at the handling of this case for a number of reasons. Yet again, money and social status get someone a slap on the wrist that should have been charged with something far worse. Here are my thoughts....
1. That entitled brat took Stanford for granted. I'm sorry but if you have the opportunity to attend such a prestigious institution, you work your ass off and study. That's it. Just my opinion.
2. I don't care if he was drunk. His behavior was unacceptable. Period. Getting drunk is a choice. He made a choice, made a poor decision "as a result of that choice" (though that is debateable since I don't believe some shots of Patron make you get all rape-y all of the sudden). His poor decision not only traumatized a young woman and changed her life forever but his court trial has mocked the situation.
3. I don't care if he "can't eat now" and just "eats to exist." Guess what jackass.... you raped someone. You didn't just accidentally step on someone's foot. You raped her. I don't care if you can eat nothing but saltine crackers for the rest of your life. It would be a million times short of what you deserve.
4. Her drunkenness is also not an excuse. It is completely legal to get drunk. Was she drunk in public? Absolutely. Write her a ticket. Whether or not SHE was drunk doesn't change the fact that that HE committed a completely illegal act that physically assaulted someone else.
5. I don't care if he doesn't have any prior offenses. This is simply a guess anyway. It doesn't seem like someone who commits this kind of act would have NOT committed it before. My guess is that he's just never been caught before....but that's purely a guess. Regardless, rape is rape....whether it's your first attempt or your 20th.
I could literally go on for hours on this issue but it comes down to this... rape is rape. This jackass got off with a slap on the wrist, not unlike the damn "affluenza teen" and it's infuriating. Guess what...if you don't want your richy rich kid to do douchebag things, stop giving them everything on a silver platter and stop defending their absolutely over the top crimes.
And for those wanting more information, here is an article detailing what the witnesses saw.....
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/stanford-rape-case-hero-swedish-students-who-stopped-brock-turners-attack-describe-what-they-saw-a7070226.html
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
First Female Presidential Nominee
It's pretty much set now that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are the major party nominees for this year's Presidential election. Celebrities are threatening to move to Canada. People are saying that it's "the lesser of two evils" kind of election. There are major movements on both sides of the arena when it comes to this election and the outpouring of craziness is incredible. I'm not here to tell you who to vote for. My topic today is simple:
We are experiencing the first major ticket featuring a female candidate for President.
Why is this important?
One of the things I try to teach my kids is to pick good role models. Instead of focusing on celebrities, I teach them to pick people that have fought for our country or who have achieved wonderful things. Maybe it's a scientist or a teacher. Maybe it's a doctor or a writer. It's not about the career, so much as the character. It's a matter of opinion for everyone whether or not they believe these candidates are of good character. What can't be argued is that they both have great accomplishments on their resume (as well as some poor decisions and comments but we're not focusing on that alone.)
It's important this year, though because, for the first time, a little girl can look at this election and say, "I might be able to do that someday." We always tell our daughters that they could be President but it's never looked more like a reality than right now. It's an incredible and awesome accomplishment for a girl to be able to focus on. For the first time, a little girl can look at themselves and truly know that they can do anything a boy can do. They are empowered and I love that!
Whether or not you choose to vote for Hillary Clinton, it's hard to argue that her nomination is anything short of historic. For me, this conversation is not about who's a better choice but about the next generation seeing the possibilities available to them! It will definitely be an event to remember for generations to come.
We are experiencing the first major ticket featuring a female candidate for President.
Why is this important?
One of the things I try to teach my kids is to pick good role models. Instead of focusing on celebrities, I teach them to pick people that have fought for our country or who have achieved wonderful things. Maybe it's a scientist or a teacher. Maybe it's a doctor or a writer. It's not about the career, so much as the character. It's a matter of opinion for everyone whether or not they believe these candidates are of good character. What can't be argued is that they both have great accomplishments on their resume (as well as some poor decisions and comments but we're not focusing on that alone.)
It's important this year, though because, for the first time, a little girl can look at this election and say, "I might be able to do that someday." We always tell our daughters that they could be President but it's never looked more like a reality than right now. It's an incredible and awesome accomplishment for a girl to be able to focus on. For the first time, a little girl can look at themselves and truly know that they can do anything a boy can do. They are empowered and I love that!
Whether or not you choose to vote for Hillary Clinton, it's hard to argue that her nomination is anything short of historic. For me, this conversation is not about who's a better choice but about the next generation seeing the possibilities available to them! It will definitely be an event to remember for generations to come.
Connecting with the Kids
Occasionally, just occasionally, it's important to make your kids do something that makes a teenager's eyes roll into the back of their head. What, you ask? Family time....
I strive to eat dinner with my kids every night if I can. Why? Because I believe it's an important time to reconnect as a "team". We may talk about important topics or we may talk about the silliest things you can think of but we consistently connect with each other and touch base on what's going on in each other's lives.
Occasionally we try to do family game nights too. Sometimes it's a Wii game or an X box game. Sometimes it's a game we make up. Sometimes it's something like Guesstures. Inevitably, the eye rolls begin with the teenagers. "Do we REALLY have to do this?" Yes, yes we do. Inevitably they fight it and inevitably, they still have a blast, in the end. The important part is not whether or not they roll their eyes or sigh loudly. The important part is that they are having fun as a family.
Look, life is busy and we don't always have time to achieve the things that we want. We have to savor every moment with our kids because it flies by so quickly. Take the time to do something special with your family, even if it invokes eye rolls, sighs and crossed arms because it can and will be a memory they'll always have.
I strive to eat dinner with my kids every night if I can. Why? Because I believe it's an important time to reconnect as a "team". We may talk about important topics or we may talk about the silliest things you can think of but we consistently connect with each other and touch base on what's going on in each other's lives.
Occasionally we try to do family game nights too. Sometimes it's a Wii game or an X box game. Sometimes it's a game we make up. Sometimes it's something like Guesstures. Inevitably, the eye rolls begin with the teenagers. "Do we REALLY have to do this?" Yes, yes we do. Inevitably they fight it and inevitably, they still have a blast, in the end. The important part is not whether or not they roll their eyes or sigh loudly. The important part is that they are having fun as a family.
Look, life is busy and we don't always have time to achieve the things that we want. We have to savor every moment with our kids because it flies by so quickly. Take the time to do something special with your family, even if it invokes eye rolls, sighs and crossed arms because it can and will be a memory they'll always have.
Monday, June 6, 2016
Overstimulation = Naughty Behavior
I want to take a moment to break down something for the parents that seem a bit confused as we're starting summer break. The whole "keep your kids busy because it keeps them out of trouble" thing is designed for older children. It is not designed for 4, 5, 6 year olds that still need down time on a daily basis. Note that I did not say "nap time" there. They don't necessarily need a nap (though they might benefit from it). They need down time. They need time to relax their little brains and calm their little bodies. Despite their high energy attitudes, they are not invincible.
I keep hearing of parents that have their kids in camps or activities every single day of summer break to "keep them busy to stay out of trouble." Well, mom, your 4 year old will do just fine staying out of trouble if you let them....wait for it.....just be a kid. I'm all for activities and giving them something new to do. I love letting them try new things and gain new experiences. However, there's something to be said for letting your kids just go explore the backyard and find roly polies. There's something to be said for taking a walk and playing "I Spy." There's something to be said for making homemade popsicles or playing Simon Says in the sprinkler. It doesn't have to be a $500 camp to be enriching to their minds.
There's also not a need to run them every single day. Providing a child constant entertainment is a dangerous habit to start. THAT is EXACTLY how kids get into trouble. They're so used to being entertained 24/7 that they don't know how to entertain themselves and start looking for adventure. Guess what....it's rarely good adventure. Over-stimulation is a very real cause of misbehavior in children of all ages. Not letting them relax and defrag their brains is a great way to trigger argumentative behavior, attitude and more. Sound like a fun way to spend your summer? Didn't think so.
The point is that before all of this "we need to keep them busy" nonsense, there was a real movement to allow real life experiences to busy them. They viewed outings as special treats and found great ways to entertain themselves from making forts to making up cool new games. They spent their summers being free and just playing....and that's more important than people realize. Before Barbie's dreamhouse made the noises, we were making creative noises ourselves. Before Lego kits came with instructions, we were creating our own castles, robots and forts. We didn't need someone to tell us how to do it....we used our imaginations. There's something to be said for the creativity that brought us great minds like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and other brilliant people that have made millions of dollars from an idea.
You definitely can choose to roll your eyes at me. In fact, it wouldn't be the first time (I have teenagers at home). What you should do, though, is really look at your child and think about what they would love to do with their time if they had the freedom to do it. Allow them to just be kids and develop that awesome unique part of them that they'll use their whole life.
Happy Summer, folks.
I keep hearing of parents that have their kids in camps or activities every single day of summer break to "keep them busy to stay out of trouble." Well, mom, your 4 year old will do just fine staying out of trouble if you let them....wait for it.....just be a kid. I'm all for activities and giving them something new to do. I love letting them try new things and gain new experiences. However, there's something to be said for letting your kids just go explore the backyard and find roly polies. There's something to be said for taking a walk and playing "I Spy." There's something to be said for making homemade popsicles or playing Simon Says in the sprinkler. It doesn't have to be a $500 camp to be enriching to their minds.
There's also not a need to run them every single day. Providing a child constant entertainment is a dangerous habit to start. THAT is EXACTLY how kids get into trouble. They're so used to being entertained 24/7 that they don't know how to entertain themselves and start looking for adventure. Guess what....it's rarely good adventure. Over-stimulation is a very real cause of misbehavior in children of all ages. Not letting them relax and defrag their brains is a great way to trigger argumentative behavior, attitude and more. Sound like a fun way to spend your summer? Didn't think so.
The point is that before all of this "we need to keep them busy" nonsense, there was a real movement to allow real life experiences to busy them. They viewed outings as special treats and found great ways to entertain themselves from making forts to making up cool new games. They spent their summers being free and just playing....and that's more important than people realize. Before Barbie's dreamhouse made the noises, we were making creative noises ourselves. Before Lego kits came with instructions, we were creating our own castles, robots and forts. We didn't need someone to tell us how to do it....we used our imaginations. There's something to be said for the creativity that brought us great minds like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and other brilliant people that have made millions of dollars from an idea.
You definitely can choose to roll your eyes at me. In fact, it wouldn't be the first time (I have teenagers at home). What you should do, though, is really look at your child and think about what they would love to do with their time if they had the freedom to do it. Allow them to just be kids and develop that awesome unique part of them that they'll use their whole life.
Happy Summer, folks.
Sunday, June 5, 2016
Destination Dance LLC-Wheat Ridge, CO
I'm a big promoter of reviewing the businesses you love so I'd like to take a moment to review one I'm personally a HUGE fan of.....
Destination Dance LLC in Wheat Ridge, Colorado!
The staff at Destination Dance is dedicated to making certain that they give your kids a fun experience and that they learn while they're at it. The kids enjoy going to the classes and have the opportunity to perform in various recitals, shows, and so on and so forth. They keep their costs to an affordable rate and their recital and costume fees are also reasonable.
If you haven't got a dance studio, I encourage you to try them out!
Destination Dance LLC in Wheat Ridge, Colorado!
The staff at Destination Dance is dedicated to making certain that they give your kids a fun experience and that they learn while they're at it. The kids enjoy going to the classes and have the opportunity to perform in various recitals, shows, and so on and so forth. They keep their costs to an affordable rate and their recital and costume fees are also reasonable.
If you haven't got a dance studio, I encourage you to try them out!
Sometimes There's a Reason for Jealousy
So I had a newlywed ask me for advice on how to "fix" his wife. Why? Well, she was "getting possessive and jealous over stories about his exes." For how much men love to think women are complicated, some things are pretty simple and it seems like common sense to most of us. This particular situation seems to pop up a lot so let me lay down some ground rules, fellas....
1. If you don't want her bringing up her exes, then DON'T bring them up yourself. When you go to a restaurant, DON'T say, "Well I used to bring Susie Q here." Just don't. Seriously. She will forever associate that place with your ex after that.
2. Please, please, please don't talk about your past sexual endeavors with other women. I don't care how "okay" she says she is with it. She's not okay with hearing the details. All she wants to know is whether or not your clean and MAYBE how many partners (though that can be a dangerous question).
3. Don't compare. Even when you're angry.
and finally
4. If she starts in unprovoked, be clear that she is the ONLY woman for you now and that the other girlfriends you've had don't matter anymore. Then leave it at that. Don't dig yourself a hole for something you don't need to.
Yes, some women are jealous naturally. Some are NOT and are drawn into it by your behavior. Realistically, though, if you're bringing up your exes and talking about all the crazy, kinky stuff you used to do with them, it's YOU that has a problem.
PS Women this applies to you too. Don't do this crap to your man and then get mad that he's jealous and angry. You are just as guilty if you're doing so.
1. If you don't want her bringing up her exes, then DON'T bring them up yourself. When you go to a restaurant, DON'T say, "Well I used to bring Susie Q here." Just don't. Seriously. She will forever associate that place with your ex after that.
2. Please, please, please don't talk about your past sexual endeavors with other women. I don't care how "okay" she says she is with it. She's not okay with hearing the details. All she wants to know is whether or not your clean and MAYBE how many partners (though that can be a dangerous question).
3. Don't compare. Even when you're angry.
and finally
4. If she starts in unprovoked, be clear that she is the ONLY woman for you now and that the other girlfriends you've had don't matter anymore. Then leave it at that. Don't dig yourself a hole for something you don't need to.
Yes, some women are jealous naturally. Some are NOT and are drawn into it by your behavior. Realistically, though, if you're bringing up your exes and talking about all the crazy, kinky stuff you used to do with them, it's YOU that has a problem.
PS Women this applies to you too. Don't do this crap to your man and then get mad that he's jealous and angry. You are just as guilty if you're doing so.
Friday, June 3, 2016
Zoos
I saw an article this morning on how society is to blame for gorilla mom not watching her kid. Don't worry...this article isn't on her. It's about the idea that zoos don't serve educational purpose. I disagree. Here why....
Trips to the zoo that include learning about the animals, whether self guided or field trip, may not directly influence conservation of an endangered species at that moment but it eventually does, for so many. As kids learn about the habitats of animals, they learn to respect and appreciate the contribution these animals make to our world. Many develop a passion from these field trips that might lead them to be a veterinarian, zoologist, or activist. The passion just isn't nearly as strong watching it on a live cam or reading a book. When a child goes on a field trip to the zoo, a seed is planted to learn, help and contribute in any way they can. Money from zoo sales go toward conservation efforts, continued education and stimulation of these creatures.
The idea that all zoo programs are bad is also misleading. While some animals are born in captivity, others were rescued. Some are being bred in zoos to prevent extinction due to poaching and destruction of their habitat. Like everything else, of course there are cons. However, the idea that some bad aspects should equal no zoos at all is a very abrupt way to view it.
Look...I'm all for avoiding circuses due to cruel practices. I'm not a fan of safari trophy hunts, personally but if we want the next generation to do better, we need to teach better and educating them at zoos can be a great tool.
Trips to the zoo that include learning about the animals, whether self guided or field trip, may not directly influence conservation of an endangered species at that moment but it eventually does, for so many. As kids learn about the habitats of animals, they learn to respect and appreciate the contribution these animals make to our world. Many develop a passion from these field trips that might lead them to be a veterinarian, zoologist, or activist. The passion just isn't nearly as strong watching it on a live cam or reading a book. When a child goes on a field trip to the zoo, a seed is planted to learn, help and contribute in any way they can. Money from zoo sales go toward conservation efforts, continued education and stimulation of these creatures.
The idea that all zoo programs are bad is also misleading. While some animals are born in captivity, others were rescued. Some are being bred in zoos to prevent extinction due to poaching and destruction of their habitat. Like everything else, of course there are cons. However, the idea that some bad aspects should equal no zoos at all is a very abrupt way to view it.
Look...I'm all for avoiding circuses due to cruel practices. I'm not a fan of safari trophy hunts, personally but if we want the next generation to do better, we need to teach better and educating them at zoos can be a great tool.
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Someone Always Has it Worse
I'd just like to take a moment to give a gentle reminder....
Just because "someone always has it worse" does not mean that what you're going through isn't legitimately hard or stressful for you."
I think that, sometimes, people have the best of intentions when it comes to saying the phrase "someone always has it worse" or "it could be worse." The problem is that it unintentionally (or perhaps intentionally) makes your problem seem as if it doesn't matter. It makes you seem like a complaining baby.
Here's the thing...
Yes, someone does have it worse. There are starving children. There are nations living in the midst of bombings and those having to abandon everything to get to safety. There are so many bad situations. It definitely could be worse.
However, life is still a stressful, crazy thing sometimes. Your issues are valid. How you react to them is what makes the difference. Allow yourself to grieve, stress or fuss temporarily but then take action. Work your way to that positive attitude that makes all the difference, smile and keep your chin up.
You've got this
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Just Not Being An Asshole
This Wednesday's snippet is going to be relatively straight-forward so brace yourself......
There seems to be somewhat of a "continental divide" when it comes to environmental issues. You're either a "tree hugger" or you're a "denier." There are few in between. It seems like the deniers get a bad name simply because they disagree with data. The tree huggers get a bad name because they "bully" others on earth-related issues. Here's the thing...... My thoughts on this have zero to do with science. My thoughts on this have to do with basic human goodness and, more than that, responsibility.
I don't think that picking up your trash is always about saving the earth. Yes it absolutely DOES protect the environment but it's also about just basic human decency. You don't throw your trash on the floor of your house, why would you throw it on the ground outside? The reality of the situation is that sometimes cleaning up after yourself is just cleaning up after yourself. Be responsible for your mess!
I don't think that choosing to renew and recycle things is always about saving the earth. It's about basic human decency. Why must we buy so many new things instead of renewing something that is in perfectly good shape?
I think we should teach our kids to clean up after themselves because they're responsible. I think we should teach kids to pick up dog poop in public places because other people walk there and don't want to have to tiptoe when they play frisbee. I think we should teach our kids to leave wildlife (including bugs) alone because the animals are in THEIR homes and you wouldn't want someone coming into YOUR home and bugging you. It's not always about whether or not you're a "tree hugger" ; sometimes, it's about teaching your kids to just be good people.
There seems to be somewhat of a "continental divide" when it comes to environmental issues. You're either a "tree hugger" or you're a "denier." There are few in between. It seems like the deniers get a bad name simply because they disagree with data. The tree huggers get a bad name because they "bully" others on earth-related issues. Here's the thing...... My thoughts on this have zero to do with science. My thoughts on this have to do with basic human goodness and, more than that, responsibility.
I don't think that picking up your trash is always about saving the earth. Yes it absolutely DOES protect the environment but it's also about just basic human decency. You don't throw your trash on the floor of your house, why would you throw it on the ground outside? The reality of the situation is that sometimes cleaning up after yourself is just cleaning up after yourself. Be responsible for your mess!
I don't think that choosing to renew and recycle things is always about saving the earth. It's about basic human decency. Why must we buy so many new things instead of renewing something that is in perfectly good shape?
I think we should teach our kids to clean up after themselves because they're responsible. I think we should teach kids to pick up dog poop in public places because other people walk there and don't want to have to tiptoe when they play frisbee. I think we should teach our kids to leave wildlife (including bugs) alone because the animals are in THEIR homes and you wouldn't want someone coming into YOUR home and bugging you. It's not always about whether or not you're a "tree hugger" ; sometimes, it's about teaching your kids to just be good people.
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