So I had a newlywed ask me for advice on how to "fix" his wife. Why? Well, she was "getting possessive and jealous over stories about his exes." For how much men love to think women are complicated, some things are pretty simple and it seems like common sense to most of us. This particular situation seems to pop up a lot so let me lay down some ground rules, fellas....
1. If you don't want her bringing up her exes, then DON'T bring them up yourself. When you go to a restaurant, DON'T say, "Well I used to bring Susie Q here." Just don't. Seriously. She will forever associate that place with your ex after that.
2. Please, please, please don't talk about your past sexual endeavors with other women. I don't care how "okay" she says she is with it. She's not okay with hearing the details. All she wants to know is whether or not your clean and MAYBE how many partners (though that can be a dangerous question).
3. Don't compare. Even when you're angry.
and finally
4. If she starts in unprovoked, be clear that she is the ONLY woman for you now and that the other girlfriends you've had don't matter anymore. Then leave it at that. Don't dig yourself a hole for something you don't need to.
Yes, some women are jealous naturally. Some are NOT and are drawn into it by your behavior. Realistically, though, if you're bringing up your exes and talking about all the crazy, kinky stuff you used to do with them, it's YOU that has a problem.
PS Women this applies to you too. Don't do this crap to your man and then get mad that he's jealous and angry. You are just as guilty if you're doing so.
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