10 Ways to Be a Mean Mom

I sometimes get told by touchy feely moms that I'm a "mean mom" for being strict on my kids.  I used to get really upset about it but I've learned to embrace it.  One woman's "mean mom" is another woman's "keeping my sanity."  Realistically the important part is that we have happy, healthy children, right? Not in our social media happy society.  We must all agree...right?  Not in my book.

So without further ado, my 10 ways to be a  mean mom.

1.  "Throw it away."  My kids have each had the sting of the garbage bag to the bedroom.  That's right.  In my house, if you're warned to clean your room and choose not to, your belongings go to the thrift store.  It's a hard lesson to learn but it's an effective one.

2.  "Make them practice prioritizing."  I am a firm believer that kids don't need a Toys R Us in their bedroom.  When birthdays and Christmas start coming around, the kids and I go through their toys and other items and assess what they would be willing to donate.  Then, when a holiday comes around, it's not so much clutter.

3.  "Make them do chores....without pay."  Yup, that's right.  I'm the mean mom that has certain chores that I expect done without pay.  Why?  Because we work as a family and that means that everyone should contribute their very best.

4.  "That may be what kids do but that's not what my kids do."  My kids have heard this phrase more times than they care to say.  They realize that their expectations are higher than the "let kids be kids" parents around them.  Rules are rules.  Period.  I don't care what so-and-so's parents do.

5.  "You don't have to like it but you have to accept it."  Another frequently spoken phrase in our house.  They used to debate it but, at this point, it's not even worth it to them anymore because they know what I'm going to say.

6.  "Say no".  While other parents are having "yes days" and not wanting to hurt their kids feelings, I understand that my job is to prepare them for the real world (while still nurturing them).  The real world doesn't cater to their feelings all the time.  Sometimes they need to hear the word "no."

7.  "Make them eat their vegetables."  I'm sorry but I just don't buy into cutting my kids' cucumbers into intricate little flowers to bribe them to eat it.  I'm all for the "dip it in ranch" (or ketchup) if it helps you choke it down but the option is HOW to eat it, not whether to eat it.  Yes, you are allowed to have a couple of veggies you don't like but you need to eat the vast majority.

8.  "Demand respect."  Now I use the term "demand" loosely.  What I mean by this is that I find it perfectly acceptable to expect my children to respect their elders, their siblings, their friends, and their family.  I expect  for them to treat the janitor with the same level of respect as the CEO.

9.  "Make them say please."  I've been known to deny dessert, activities, and such to my kids if they start in with rude attitudes.  I expect manners of all varieties including "yes ma'am" and "no sir" to adults.  It's an important skill to learn in life.

and finally....

10.  "Expect their best."  Note that I didn't say to expect THE best but to expect THEIR best.  You know your child and you know their abilities.  Expect them to work at something with all of their effort and call them on it if they're slacking intentionally.  You don't have to be a jerk but let them know that you know their potential.  It may be an eye-roller on their part but they'll appreciate those votes of confidence as they age.

Look, if being a hardass is what works in my family, I'm okay with that.  We have plenty of laughing, silly moments.  We have a ton of "I'm so proud of you" moments and so many hugs and nurturing moments that I couldn't count them if I tried.  That said, I'm also not afraid to balance that out with the discipline necessary (in my household) to make things run smoothly for everyone.....most of the time, anyway.