Sometimes They're Just Being Assholes

There's a viral video talking about how sometimes it's more important to give your child what they need rather than what they deserve.  It's a touching video and is absolutely true.  There are times that your children are acting out because they're stressed or sad or a million other emotions.  THESE are the time that you can absolutely act out this video's theme.

And then there's the time when your teenager is just being an asshole....

Yes, I said it.  Sometimes your kid is just being an asshole.  We can give it about a thousand reasons using everything from hormones to peer pressure.  You'd be absolutely accurate that those things affect your once-peaceful child.  It's an explanation, but it's not an excuse to be a jerk.  This is especially true when you can see their devil horns emerging as they scream at you for why their white t shirt isn't clean yet and then turn around and speak quietly and kindly to Grandma when she drops in for a surprise visit.

Despite what they might have you doubting, hormones don't make you uncontrollable.  Peer pressure doesn't force you to be an undeniable butthead.  There are times when your teenager is making the choice to yell at you because they can.  There are times when they're choosing to speak venom into your life because they can.  They choose to roll their eyes and treat you like poo on their shoe because...wait for it....they can.  Teenagers can be real assholes sometimes.

Here's the good news.....

It doesn't last forever.  Their eyes will eventually re-center and stop rolling "uncontrollably" every time you speak.  Their tone will eventually mellow from harsh accusation to conversational tone.  Their screams will eventually turn into questions on how to manage the things that are going on in their lives.  This, too, shall pass.

I, often, compare teenagers to overgrown toddlers.  They can be perfectly pleasant one minute and a screaming tantrummy mess the next.  The truth, though, is that they're learning independence.  They make AWFUL choices on exercising that sometimes.  They strike out at you because they trust you and they know you'll forgive them, in the end.  It DEFINITELY doesn't mean you have to lay down and accept it.  What it does mean is that it's normal, it's fleeting and you'll be able to laugh about it someday....down the road.....with your gray hair.

Until then, pour yourself a glass of wine and try to relax over the sound of stressful teenage rants.