Grads

 

So they're now graduates and I'm reeling because I'm feeling old.  My oldest (my teen drama queen) is nearly as tall as I am.  My tweenage son got his first pimple last week.  When did I get so old?  The good news is, I'm still fabulous. Hahaha

What Comes Naturally

I was given the nicest compliment last night about me being a fantastic parent.  It's always something so nice to hear because most parents work their tails off to be a good parent.  It's a balance of discipline, fun, and learning combined with a constant supply of love.  It looks different for every family but the unconditional love is a constant in all the best ones.

All of this had me thinking of how we are all created so differently and how some things come so naturally to one person and is so difficult for someone else.  Taking care of children comes very naturally to me.  It always has.  I have a knack for it.  God created me with boatloads of patience (when it comes to kids) and an ability to click with so many personality types with kids.  My Gram says it's because my big heart comes through.  Who knows if that's the reasoning or not.  I just know that being a mom or a caregiver comes very naturally to me whether it's one kid or a dozen.

Then I look at the people that compliment me on my parenting skills and the amazing skills that they have.  Some are amazing carpenters.  Some are incredible writers.  They are stellar in their chosen careers and they are able to do things that I am too technically slow to understand.  They may have to work harder at having patience, as a parent but they absolutely still do just as great a job.  It just doesn't come as naturally to them sometimes.

I say all of that to say this: I truly don't believe that there is one job that is better than another.  I don't believe that being a CEO makes you any better than a stay at home mom.  I don't believe that being a corporate lawyer makes you better than a trash man.  If you enjoy what you do and you're using the skills God gave you, I truly believe that one is not better than the other.  The world needs all kinds of people to do all kinds of jobs.  Some require training or higher education.  Some require an apprenticeship.  The point is that if you are using your skills to work hard and make the world a better place, you're contributing to society and that, ultimately, is what being an adult is all about.  The skills that come naturally to you were put inside of you for a reason.

Would I absolutely love to stay at home with my kids again?  Of course! If I had the opportunity to work from home or be a stay at home mom and volunteer at their schools, I would jump on it like a grasshopper.  Now, though, I'm thankful to have a job that lets me use the skills that come naturally to me and encourage others to do the same.

Learning Over the Summer

The school year being over is a reminder, yet again, that it's a choice whether to keep the kids sharp on their skills over the summer.  Personally, I'm a big advocate of a  mix of unschooling and old school skills over the summer.  Though I'm not entirely sure I'm using the term correctly, my understanding of unschooling is that they pick something to learn about and you give them the freedom to learn as much as possible about that topic.  My kids do have a structure to it but they were able to pick topics.  The other part of their summer learning is based around activities that are no longer focused on in core-curriculum based schools.  I definitely don't want to undo what they've learned but I like to add on and fill in the blanks.

One of the big focuses in my house this summer is history.  I'm really wanting them to develop a love of history and of learning about all of the trials and achievements of this country.  I am certain that I can't cram centuries of history into a full summer but I'm utilizing resources to help them learn as much as possible.  I'm trying to make it interesting for them so that they want to find out what happened next....and then what happened after that. 

Another big focus is writing.  I truly believe that learning to write is a key factor in succeeding in school.  It may be something fun and interesting or it may be a prompt that they have to use their imagination for.  Regardless, it's a stepping stone to keeping them sharp and helping them to use the skills that they've learned, and maybe even grow them some.

The biggest focus, however, is on them getting to be kids.  This may take a small snippet of time from their day to make their school year run more smoothly but my biggest focus is allowing them to be kids.  I don't believe in over-scheduling them.  There's plenty of time for work, work, work when they're older.  Right now, I just want them to enjoy themselves and keep loving to learn like they do now.

If you haven't looked into reading programs, check at your local library, Barnes & Noble or through the scholastic summer reading program.  Some of the programs offer free books when you read a certain amount of minutes and can be a great encouragement to get your child to keep learning over the summer!

The Real News vs Duggar News

I tend to have a very limited amount of patience when it comes to over-inflated news stories that everyone is hearing about.  I am of the opinion that if we are going to focus high concentration on a news story, it should be one that affects all of us like the soldiers fighting overseas (or how their families are faring here, for that matter), government activities, and so on.  I remember the news being "boring" when I was a kid because most of it WAS focused on REAL news like the government, the troops, foreign activities, and so on.  I could only WISH that the news still worked this way as half of the news focuses on ridiculous celebrity stories and random goofiness.  Don't get me wrong, I get it: people don't want to be weighed down with the heaviness of things that might upset or scare them.  It's a ratings game.  With that being said, if you don't know your history, it's doomed to repeat itself.  Why WOULDN'T people want to know what's going on?  Why is our society more worried about finding out which cake Kim Kardashian is picking for her daughter's next birthday than what our nation is currently experiencing?  It's a mystery to me.

My patience is wearing thin lately on the Duggar incident (Josh Duggar incident).  I shudder at even reducing the happenings to the word "incident" but for the sake of writing, I'll use that word.  Let me first say that what he did was disgusting.  I'm not concerned with what age he was when it comes to categorizing it with about a billion different words that are all negative.  His actions were despicable.  Do I like or agree with how it was handled?  On a personal level, not so much.  My problem lies with the way it is being handled NOW, though.  Why the hell is this a news story?  Aside from smearing the family name, what good is it doing to drag up past events now?  My concern has zero to do with Josh and all to do with the victims, whoever they are.  This has got to be killing them.  Victims of such monstrosities live with this for the rest of their lives already....now it's being dragged out for the world to pick apart and discuss.  How awful for them.  How truly, truly awful.  I refuse to become one of those people that posts a million posts on this just to condemn and spread the word.  This should NOT be being handled in the public eye.  You want to inform others for the "safety" of who he's around from now on, fine.  The victims should not be having to relive this, though.  End of story.

I say all of that to say this: If you are one of the people posting all of this media hype just for the sake of doing some sort of "public service," think before you post.  It's one thing to share an opinion and it's another to focus so much on an event like this that you forget what's happening in your nation.  Open your eyes to what is going on and stop focusing so much on the lives of celebrities. 

(On a brief side note, I have a thought for a few to ponder.  Those that are smearing the family name because it's "evidence" of the Duggars not being as "perfect" or "pious" as you thought, consider the following: Is it possible that if people stopped focusing their attention on these reality TV families as a whole (all of them from the Kardashians to the Duggars) that, perhaps, there would be no need to dissect any of them because they'd ALL go away from the public eye?  Drawing more attention to them by posting constantly isn't proving anything to most people. You aren't doing a public service.  Opinions are fine but you aren't proving a thing.)

10 People I'd Like to Throat Punch

For my humorous Friday post, I'd like to share the 10 people I'd like to throat punch.....

1.  People that go on and on about family values and then treat their family like shit.

2.  People that wait until the very last minute to merge after seeing the "lane ends" sign and ignoring it and then get pissy and flip you off when you won't let them in.

3.  Girls who post sexy selfies 1000 times a week .  If you really need the ego boost that bad, you have a serious issues.

4.  Parents that leave their babies/toddlers in cars to run errands. 

5.  People that leave their dogs in hot cars.

6.  Anyone that uses the word "bae" to describe their significant other.  Seriously it means "poo" in Danish.....dumb.

7.  Men that tell women that they're not sexy if they don't have a thigh gap....yet they have "dad bod". 

8.  Working moms that judge stay at home moms....and stay at home moms that judge working moms.

9.  Parents that clearly favor one child over the other.

10.  People with no sense of humor.

Support

I have heard an incredible amount of people commenting last night and this morning on the Kardashians first hearing about Bruce Jenner's transition to a woman. I should, first, say that my opinion on the topic is as follows: Bruce Jenner is an Olympic athlete who has achieved incredible feats.  It is very sad to me that all the current generation will remember him for is his association with the Kardashians and this moment, a moment that should be have allowed to be private (or as private as Bruce chooses it to be).  On to other aspects of my post, though....

I see people commenting about how they can't believe how selfish they were upon hearing the news.  They can't believe that the girls were all concerned about how Kris would handle it.  All I can say about that is that you don't know how you'd react to something until you've walked a mile in their shoes.  I'm DEFINITELY not condoning the way they reacted or glorifying it.  I'd like to think that my concern would have been for how difficult this must have been for Bruce and how he is handling the stress that comes with letting people in on his secret.  With that being said, I can't judge them for how they've handled it because I don't know what I'd truly say in that moment, before I had a chance to truly think it over.  I'd also say that perhaps history should have told the audience that the family has a history of reacting much the same way they reacted initially in this case too.  I'm not saying it's good or bad....just that it is a relatively normal reaction from what I've seen.

With all of that being said, I'd like to take a moment to address something I feel strongly about in a family (be it blood relatives, marriage, or just a group of people that refer to each other as family).  That topic is SUPPORT.  Look, as a parent, I understand that we don't always like the choices our kids make.  We may not like their choice of clothes or their choice of friends or their choice of major in college.  We may not like their choice to play baseball instead of basketball.  We have these hopes and dreams of what we want our kids to look like and it is sometimes hard to look at those dreams and realize that kids are their own person and have their own abilities, interests, and so on.  I truly believe that our friendships, love relationships and so on have these same expectations.  We set expectations of what we want it to look like and feel slightly disappointed when it doesn't look the same way.  It is perfectly okay to feel that disappointment but how you react to it is a different story.

Whether your relationship is a friendship, family relationship, love relationship or whatever, if you are truly there for someone, it means you support them.  You don't have to like their decision but you support it.  Of course the exception is if the person is hurting themselves or someone else in the process (aka addiction, suicidal thoughts, etc).  The reality is that their life is their life and they have to live with the fallout of whatever choice they make.  They don't need you telling them what to do but just being there for them when they're struggling through this thing called life.  You can give your opinion in a constructive way (or just keep your mouth shut if it applies) but then you need to just leave it be and just BE THERE.  If you don't like who your son is dating, you don't have to like it....just give your opinion and then be there to catch them.   If you don't like your daughter's chosen major, don't like it....but be there and understand that they've made a choice.

My final thought on the matter is this: You may not always understand the choices that someone else makes.  You may think that you'd never be able to do a job that takes so much time away from their family but it works for your friend.  You may think that you wouldn't dare forgive and forget from a friendship where someone was hurt so badly but they are able to do it and live happily.  You may think that someone should just walk away from a relationship but they keep fighting to make it work.  It's not your responsibility to take stock of what everyone's choices are, the mistakes that are made, or the life they've chosen to live.  If you are a friend, family member, etc your responsibility (in my opinion) is to be there to support someone whether you understand it or not.  Save your "I told you so's" until you've walked a day in their shoes.

Review of Air Optix contacts

After months of using the product, I now feel confident saying it....Air Optix Contacts are AMAZING!  As an Acuvue user for years, I had grown used to my eyes feeling painfully dry halfway through the day.  Consistently, I would spend months twice a year swearing that I'd switch to solely wearing glasses because of the feeling that I needed to scratch my eyeballs out.  I could moisten them 10 times a day with 10 different brands of eye drops and they'd still itch during allergy season. 

When I went to the eye doctor early this spring, I explained my problem and they suggested that I change brands.  They gave me a trial pair and I agreed to give it a try.  On some level, I think I assumed that I'd still have the same issue at a more expensive price.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  Not only are the contacts incredibly breathable but they are comfortable on my eye and last longer than the traditional 2 week Acuvue I was wearing!

Yes, I understand that different people are better off with different brands due to the shape of their eyes, their prescription, or special conditions.  If you CAN get this brand, though, I thoroughly recommend it.

5 Things to Do to Make Your Relationship Last

People seem to feel like relationships are disposable now.  It's an epidemic.  With the availability of porn and dating websites/apps, there are opportunities for eye candy without ever leaving your couch.  Add on the over-sexing of pretty much all girls no matter  how young by half of the population and you're headed for disaster.  It's stopped being about who you want to grow old with and started being about who you can satisfy yourself with right now.  It's unnerving.

In my humble opinion, there are five things that both genders SHOULD be doing in their relationship to make it last.  (I'm going to write it from a feminine perspective but it applies to both genders.)

Treat your significant other as a gift.  It sounds cheesy but it's absolutely 100% true.  Think about the people you see around you or maybe even the people you know.  When people are in the part of their relationship where they treat their significant other as a gift, they are never happier.  The problem is that people get lazy.  They start sneaking more and more junk food into their relationship diet until they're eating nothing but trash and they are unhealthy and blaming everyone else.  Treat your significant other as a gift every single day.

Look for their positive attributes I'm relatively certain that our society has just become critical and negative.  We thrive on American Idol (and similar shows) because we get to listen to someone get trashed no matter how well they do.  However, if you want your relationship to last, you need to wake up every day and think about how lucky you are.  Instead of focusing on their negatives, focus on their positives. (The exception is harmful addiction, abuse, or other such detrimental things.)  Think about what made you fall for them to begin with.

Be Present.  It sounds simple enough but it's just not.  With how hectic our society is, it's hard to just stop and be there sometimes...no phone, no tv, nothing.  Instead of being distracted, be present.  It doesn't matter if you're interested in what they're talking about, get interested.  Laugh together.  Share those moments.  Be there.

Keep your eyes on your own paper. This really involves more than your eyes but let's start there.  Keep your eyes on YOUR prize.  Stop looking around and idealizing other women.  Your significant other is beautiful and you've chosen them for a reason.  Stop looking at other things trying to get off and focus your attention on them.  Furthermore, if you're one of those jackasses that hides in the wings and contacts other women while you're in a relationship (no matter how innocent you try to play it off), you need to get over yourself.  It is NEVER acceptable to ask to meet up with another woman, have pictures of a woman or to flirt out of the scope of your relationship.  It opens you up to some pretty serious crap and, frankly, if you're doing it, YOU'RE the one at fault. 

Apologize.  Everyone messes up.  If you're fortunate enough to have a significant other that apologizes when they do, consider yourself lucky.  If you're not, my condolences.  I tend to be someone who apologizes even when I don't do anything wrong with the exception being when I'm extremely hurt (usually because I'm having my character assaulted).  Choose to apologize if you want it to last.  Believe me, it's worth your time and pride in what you'll gain.

Again, this applies to both genders, though it's written from female perspective.  I watch way too many amazing women (and men) get treated like crap by their significant others who claim innocence or "just being a guy."  If you're not doing these things and wondering why your relationship is failing, look no further.  You're the problem.

Review of Toothpaste for Sensitive Teeth

In the past year, I have tried four different brands of toothpaste designed for sensitive teeth.  On the whole, I had never struggled with sensitive teeth until I had children.  For some reason, my pregnancies affected my dental health (or so it seems, perhaps it was coincidental) in such a way that my teeth became increasingly sensitive to heat, cold, and more.  I was told by one person that it might be due to how much I vomited during the first several months of my pregnancies but that's neither here nor there.

My experiment was simple.  I didn't change my eating habits at all.  I used the toothpaste twice a day (once in the morning and once at night) and followed the instructions implicitly.  I made certain to drink a healthy amount of water and kept the same recommended procedures for people with sensitive teeth. Here are my opinions of the various brands' ability to aid in sensitivity issues:

Colgate:  Colgate's take on toothpaste for sensitive teeth was not particularly beneficial to me.  Quite honestly, it left a funny taste in my mouth, my mouth felt filmy after brushing and it didn't help my sensitivity issues in any major way.  I'm not a fan of toothpaste that makes my food taste funny and this brand did.  Grade-F

Crest:  Crest's take on sensitivity toothpaste faired slightly better than one of its major competitors.  It had a more pleasant taste that didn't leave an aftertaste at all. My mouth didn't feel filmy after using it but it definitely left my mouth feeling fresh and clean right after brushing.  However, overall, it didn't seem to help my sensitivity issues much.  The degree was so small that I didn't find it to be of great benefit.  Grade-C-

Arm & Hammer: Overall, I'm normally a big fan of Arm & Hammer products from detergent to cat litter to deodorant so I was excited to try this brand.  I can say that the toothpaste did make my mouth feel extremely clean and had a relatively mild, but pleasant taste to it.  My sensitivity was maybe decreased a tiny amount but overall not much.  Cons: It made me feel like I had baking soda on my teeth after (likely with good reason).  Grade- C

Sensodyne Pronamel:  This was definitely my favorite and the brand I am continuing to use.  It's worth the couple of extra dollars I have to spend to get it.  The product goes on with a pleasant taste and leaves my mouth feeling fresh and clean afterwards.  There is no negative after taste and, when you follow the instructions, my overall sensitivity was decreased by about 95%.  That's a big deal for an ice cream lover like me!  The only con would be the comparative price.  If I can find a sale or coupon, it's about the same price.  Otherwise, it's a bit more pricey but worth it for the comfort and cleanliness.  Grade: A

I'm assuming that different products might work differently with different people.  Perhaps, it's a body chemistry issue. Hopefully this will help someone in their quest for the right sensitivity toothpaste.

Sometimes Life's Just Not Fair

The world is a funny, funny place.  God has a sense of humor.  Karma's a bitch.  It all means, essentially, the same thing: life never goes as planned.  Whether you're rich or poor, beautiful or average (by the world's standards), happy or sad, life is just a new and different adventure every day.  Some adventures turn out to be fun.  Some turn out to be terrifying.  Some are sad.  Some are infuriating.  Every adventure, though, has the same methodology: event presents itself, you react, you make a decision, consequences happen.

Please note the fact that I didn't say that you CAUSE events to happen.  I don't believe that's always the case and I loathe when people say that bad things happen to  you because you're stupid and make dumb decisions.  I don't believe in that completely.  I believe there is a mixed bag for nearly everyone on that account.  Yes, there are people that just incessantly make the decision that is asking for drama and craziness and then wonder why they have drama and craziness.  With that being said, even THOSE people have some unplanned events hit them.  Side note to the crazies that say the aforementioned "bad things"phrase, how, then, do you explain children being born with cleft palates or cancer or car accidents where an innocent driver is hit by a drunk driver....clearly no one caused these things to happen to them.  Sometimes life is just unfair.

I've recently been focusing a lot on a few specific pieces of advice, quotes, etc when I deal with difficult situations in life.  I'll share those with you now:

"You can't control anyone's reaction but your own".  - Let's be honest....it's hard to not get angry or sad when someone reacts in a way that's not fair.  Getting angry is understood but it certainly won't help you in the long run.  Understanding that their reaction says more about them than about you will help you move forward into acceptance.

"The things people say about you often are more about them than you."  - Our current society seems to feel like they have the right to constantly criticize everyone around them.  Remembering that what they're saying is usually more about their insecurities can help you move past that.

"Sometimes life just isn't fair."  - Absolutely true.  People are going to blame you for things.  People are going to treat you like a jerk sometimes for no reason.  Sometimes life just isn't fair.

But my favorite.....

"Don't ever feel guilty for eliminating toxic people from your life.  The ones that are meant to stick around."  People are either beneficial, neutral or toxic to your spirit.  If someone is toxic to your spirit and makes you feel run down, bad about yourself, etc, it's time to get rid of them.  You can feel sadness but don't feel guilt.

If life is striking you down right now, have some patience.  As my pastor used to say, "it always rains hardest before the rainbow." 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day from the SportsNutShutterbugMama to all the moms out there!

Mother's Day Advice for Expectant Moms

For all of the expectant moms celebrating their first Mother's Day, I want to share what I consider to be the best advice you can get from this goofy mom of four....

First and Foremost, Take Every Single Piece of Advice You Get With a Grain of Salt.  You're going to hear from damn near anyone and everyone.  Not only will they tell you what you should and shouldn't do but they will also tell you how you should and shouldn't be doing these things.  Let's be frank, there are a million ways to raise children and, for the most part, one is not better than the other.  You know what's best for you and your baby.  You'll know what's best for him or her from the minute they're born.  Remember that.

Books Are Great But Don't Live By Them.  Knowledge is power.  That's undeniable.  With that being said, there are thousands of baby books that all give different methods and advice.  Reading too many parenting books is like googling your symptoms when you're sick....you'll get fifty different diagnoses and solutions, leaving you more confused than you began.  Books will be helpful to give you ideas but they don't have to be your parenting Bible (so to speak). 

There is No Wrong Answer This is important to remember when you're debating where the baby sleeps, what type of bottle to use or even whether to use one or not, whether or not a pacifier will cause nipple confusion, and a hundred other debates that come up.  There is no right or wrong answer; there's only an answer that works for you.  Every single baby is different and every family has different needs.  Tommy Tippy bottles may work for Mom A but Mom B has a baby that hates them.  Baby A might take a pacifier from day one and never get nipple confusion while Baby B won't even take a bottle.  There is only what works for you and your family.

Just Because Babies R Us sells it, doesn't mean you need it. I look at the wide variety of gadgets available in awe every time I enter this store.  Realistically, every generation looks at the new doo dads and wonders where they were when their kids were babies.  Funny thing though, we all got by just fine without the doo dads.  Working with kids and having four of my own, I can honestly tell you that a vast majority of the items available just end up taking up space.  It is completely a judgment call as to what you think will make your life easier but don't feel like you need to have the entire contents of aisle 8 when you bring your baby home.

Diaper pails STINK.  I have literally tested/used every type of diaper pail on the general market in this country in one place or another.  It doesn't matter which one you buy, it will eventually stink.  You can wind the diapers in bags and hide them but reality will tell you that poop stinks.  Diaper Genie, Diaper Champ or just a trash can...in the end, it will all smell the same.  My advice would be to change it frequently and skip the expensive hoopla. 

It's Okay to Say No. I don't care if it's considered impolite by some.  You have every right to say that you don't want guests because you're too tired or you're not feeling well or the baby's having a bad day or just because you don't feel like being social.  Yes, people are going to probably want to help you by coming over and cooking or cleaning for you and if that works for you, fantastic!  If you are like me, I didn't want people in the house because I felt like I needed to entertain them.  It's okay to say no.  The people that matter will get over it.

It's Also Okay to Say Yes.  If someone offers to come over and you feel comfortable, by all means, it's okay to say yes.  Unless they have some serious contagious illness, their germs are part of the baby's natural immunity building.  I'm not suggesting you don't have them wash their hands (of course that's important) with your newborn.  Don't feel guilty for accepting help or sleeping when the baby sleeps or turning off your ringer.

Put a Note on the Doorbell....and the Door.....and Directly on the Fed Ex Guys Head if He Still Rings It While I believe fully in making sure that the baby gets used to noise, most parents will agree that you still try to be moderately quiet when the baby's napping.  Put a note on your doorbell (and door) that make it abundantly clear that you don't want it rung.  There are very few things that can't wait on your doorstep for a little while.

Don't Listen to Birth Stories in Your Last Month Unless They're Pleasant The misconception that women don't remember their labor once they see their beautiful baby is crap.  You realize it was worth it but you definitely don't forget it.  Don't listen to people tell their horror stories in your last month.  You don't need the anxiety. 

and finally....

You Have the Right to Feel However You're Feeling.  Don't Let Someone Tell You Otherwise.  If you're enjoying your pregnancy down to the last day, don't let someone bring you down by saying that you should be "fat and miserable."  By the same token, if you're just not feeling it, don't let someone tell you that you should "enjoy it before the baby comes."  You have the right to feel however you are feeling: good, bad, happy, sad, energetic, bloated, sick, sexy....whatever. 

More than anything, I want to tell you congratulations.  Prepare for the ride of your life.  You'll have your happiest and saddest moments.  You'll have your most excited and  your most exhausted moments.  Nothing in the world, though, will compare to the love you have for your new baby!

Happy Mother's Day.

The Best Mother's Day Gifts

I keep seeing these pie charts of what moms really want for Mother's Day.  Quite frankly, most of them don't seem to give the true results of the gifts though.  I think that sometimes it's a difference of what age your kids are.  I think that sometimes it's a matter of differences between personalities.  I think that sometimes it's a matter of resources.  There are quite a few factors that can go into what the best gift for Mother's Day is.  In my opinion, here are a few you can't miss with.....

The Gift of Time.  Take that however you will because it will apply differently to different families.  For a mom of a newborn, this might mean time to take a nice hot shower and actually shave their legs.  For the mom of a toddler, it might mean actually being able to go to the bathroom without little hands poking your knee caps to ask you about what sound penguins make.  For the mom of a teenager, it might actually mean MORE time since they might rarely see their child.  Assessing whatever your mom's particular needs are is what I'm talking to here.

The Gift of Thought.  We all hate to admit it but we all love those little glazed trinkets kids make in school to celebrate Mother's Day.  Why?  Because it's something that shows that we were thought of.  This doesn't require a crap ton of money.  It doesn't require that you spend hours on it.  All it requires is that you truly put thought into what the mom in your life truly needs.  Maybe it means cooking her a meal or taking her out to dinner.  Maybe she actually enjoys cooking but she'd love if you did the dishes or even cooked a meal WITH her.  Maybe she'd love if you cleaned up the house.  Maybe she's like me and would rather clean herself but would love if you asked her if she needed anything.  Maybe she's in need of something goofy like new socks or maybe she just needs a hug.  The fact is that your mom has a need and chances are, she's been ignoring it to provide something for someone else. 

and the best gift, in my opinion.....

The Gift of Appreciation.  I'm not talking about some quick card you grab at the last minute at the Dollar Tree and scribble a quick signature on.  I'm talking about a heartfelt thank you for all that mom does for you.  I'm talking about a real thought about what your mom does on a daily basis to make your life a better place.

With all of that said, winning honorable mention in my own personal household.....

Nacho cheese- In fact, a vat of it would be lovely!
Mellow Mushroom Pizza and a Coors Light
A Shopping Spree at a Nursery (a PLANT nursery....ugh....no....more....babies. LOL)

Common Consideration and Courtesy

The Disney version of "Bambi" has a line that sums up how people in this world should live their lives: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."  (Ignore the double negative for the sake of quoting accurately).  Common consideration and courtesy seem to have been thrown out the window for a large group of people in our country.  This mama has some opinions on the topic:

First of all, in the vast majority of cases NO ONE ASKED YOU.  If someone asks you for your honest opinion, by all means, share.  If they don't ask, keep your mouth shut unless it is harming you or someone else (and don't be the sarcastic jackass that says that someone's loud shirt is hurting your eyes.) I don't know if you know this or not but we are on a planet that is part of a solar system that ALL revolve  around one source....that source is NOT you! Your opinions on Sally Sue's church dress may be important to your friends but Sally Sue does not need to hear negativity.  At what point did the people in our society become so full of themselves that they don't realize that not everyone wants to hear them spew their destructive filth into the world?

Secondly, if you're not being productive with your speech, shut your mouth.  What I mean by this is that if you're going to use your words to tell someone how they're ugly, too fat or too thin, have a big nose, can't sing (etc) then you are not using your words for productive purpose.  If you're asked to judge a beauty pageant, you can voice your opinions on someone's appearance.  Otherwise, shut it! You can think it all you want but no one wants or needs to hear it.  We wonder why there is a generation of bullies and self conscious people.  When our society seems to encourage kids and adults alike to be critical, we are feeding into it daily.

Thirdly, if your argument on a topic is to correct someone's grammar, you have no argument.  Realistically speaking, debate is healthy when both parties are handling it with respect and dignity.  When you start attacking someone's character, you're out of arguments.  When you start criticizing their grammar, you're past that.

My next point would be that tact is still a "thing" in the 21st century.  I'm not suggesting that you blow sunshine up people's butts but let's be realistic: there is a time and a place to say something if you absolutely MUST say something critical.  There is a way to say something that might make someone you love feel mad/sad and it's not to publically berate or belittle them.  Tact is still something that should be practiced.  This isn't necessarily for anyone else's benefit but your own.

Finally, I would say the following: The I-Don't-Care-What-People-Think mentality is poisoning our society.  Now I want to be clear that I am not saying that we should be people pleasers, constantly concerned with whether or not everyone likes us.  What I am saying is that when our society, as a whole, stopped caring about what "everyone" thought, we seem to have lost accountability for any of our actions.  We seem to have forgotten that our nation is supposed to be "ONE NATION UNDER GOD" not a bunch of jackasses yelling at each other under a variety of beliefs and non beliefs.  I, personally, don't believe that the "under God" part of that was about being a certain religion but about being one voice against anyone that would dare to come against our great country.  When we lose accountability and spend all of our time harping at one another, we seem to lose something in the translation.

It's a very fixable problem that we have in our society.  Make an effort to make what comes out of your mouth count.  Make it something that will HELP our nation build stronger and not something that will tear down its citizens.  You can be the start of a trend that will change the world for the better.

Prepare to Throw Things at Me in Protest.....a Breastfeeding Post

After a rather large incident occurred near my hometown involving a breast feeding mom being asked to cover up or feed the baby in the bathroom, I was feeling a little frustrated. When a very close friend was told that her breastfeeding her child was bothering another patient in a medical setting, I started getting more upset.  Then, I started listening to people's uppity comments towards breastfeeding moms and I became a fuming, frothy mess of fire and ice.  Be prepared for some pretty clearly opinionated views.  Note the fact that I say that the following is my opinion.  I don't push it off on others and it is a choice whether or not to read it so please do not feel the need to litter my comments with your anti-boob hoopla.  I understand that there is a completely separate side of this argument...save it for your own blog.  Mm kay?  Thanks!

First of all, in the interest of full disclosure, I breast fed all four of my kids for a period of time.  Even though I had to supplement, I chose to breast feed all four of my children for varying amounts of time.  They were all weaned at or before one year old because that's what happened to work for my family.  I can honestly say that I was especially modest with my first one, still significantly modest with my second, modest with my third and partially modest with my fourth when it came to breast feeding.  I chose to cover up to the point of inconvenience on my own part because of my comfort level with others seeing my body.  I can also honestly say that if I had to do it all over again, I'd probably handle it a little differently.  I can honestly say that I did make a choice to pump sometimes so that someone else had the chance to feed the baby when I was out.  Do I regret breast feeding?  Not a all.  Do I feel like society was slightly less boob-friendly (in terms of exposed nursing) when I had my kids?  Perhaps.

With all of that being said, I fully support whatever decision a mother makes to feed her infant in a healthy manner.  Of course, medical experts will tell you that breast is best but it's just not "the best" choice for some people based on comfort level, health issues or a million other reasons.  If you choose to feed a baby formula, great!  If you choose nursing, great!  If you choose a mixture of the two, great!  Only you know what's best for you and your baby.  Do I think there's a particular age to be weaned by?  Nope.  I think that, again, that is a call of the mother.  If she decides she wants to do it for a shorter time, fine.  Nurse until they self-wean?  Fine.  Again, only you know what's best for you and your baby.  We could debate the pros and cons all day long but I support a mother's right to choose whatever method works for her baby as long as it's healthy.  Educate yourself and make whatever choice you think is right for you and your family.

Here's what I have a problem with....a big problem:

Most nursing mothers (with very, very few exceptions) are not interested in drawing attention to themselves when they are feeding their baby.  Whether they are at home or in a restaurant or doctor's office (or anywhere else), their concern is feeding their hungry child.  Most nursing mothers (with very, very few exceptions) are not going to say, "Oh little Johnny is hungry" and proceed to remove their entire shirt in the grocery store to feed them.  Even those that choose not to cover show very little skin when their child is nursing.  Most nursing mothers (with very, very few exceptions) have, at some point, tried covering to see if it works for them.  I can honestly say that my experience with kids, including my own, is that they have no interest in having a blanket or cover over them while they're trying to eat.  Spend about 20 minutes under a blanket trying to do anything and you will understand....it's stuffy, claustrophobic and blah feeling.  Most nursing mothers (with very, very few exceptions) have seen the dirty looks sometimes and understand that not everyone agrees with them.  They aren't going to chase you down to sit right next to you and make uncomfortable eye contact while they feed their baby.  They're going to ignore you.

Wait a second...what was that....ignore?  Yes, ignore.

The fact is that most people have the privilege of having full motion of their neck muscles.  Those that don't will often have full control of whether or not their eyes are open or closed.  Some even (gasp) have the ability to put one foot in front of the other and walk, skip, hop, or frolic in whatever direction they choose.  I don't pretend for a second that everyone will be comfortable with seeing a mother breast feeding.  I'm not comfortable seeing 15 year olds frolicking about with their tongues down their boyfriends throats dressed like a certain collagen injected, scantily clad celebrity daughter.  Here's the great thing about our country: you can walk away....or turn your head....or clothes your eyes....or look at the ceiling.  Hell, if  you really want to be obvious about your disdain, hold your hand over the offensive area like a tiny black box of censorship when you look in their direction.  Believe me, you're not going to hurt most moms feelings by being offended.  You'll make them roll their eyes (in a lot of cases) but you're not going to hurt their feelings.

Here's a fact, though.  In most states, there are laws protecting a breastfeeding mother's right to nurse their child in public.  A good portion of these laws protect a mother's right to not cover up and to not be asked to cover up, leave a seat and so on.  Agree....don't agree....partially agree....the fact is that most states have laws protecting a breast feeding mother's rights to feed their child in public.

Now here's where my upset occurs..... there have been more cases than I'd like to see, lately, where the nursing mother is asked to move or cover up.  My particular "favorite" is the bathroom. Not only is that illegal in most states, but it is also completely inconsiderate.  I understand that it is uncomfortable for some people in management positions to say, "I'm sorry you're upset by what you're seeing but it is her legal right to do so" but that is part of a managerial position; doing things that aren't much fun.  It is a perfectly legitimate response to tell the offended party that the mother has the right to feed her baby and ask THEM if they would like to be moved.  Will you offend the offended party?  Perhaps.  Will you offend the nursing mother?  In almost every single instance, YES!  If the offended party can't handle twenty minutes of seeing about as much skin as a low cut V-neck blouse offers, then they can walk their happy ass to another room, turn their head or close their eyes. 

Look, there are some moms that are perfectly comfortable trying to use a cover.  There are moms that feed in their Moby wraps (etc) sometimes.  There are moms that will pump.  There are moms that will wear special nursing shirts that prevent you from seeing anything.  BUT There are also moms that don't feel comfortable with those methods every single time.  Believe me, a whole lot of people would be more upset if they had to listen to a screaming child for twenty minutes straight then they would be to turn their head while a mom feeds her baby (if they find it SO offensive).  This is one of those occasions where I will honestly say SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP!  You don't have to like it but legally you have to deal with it.

In terms of comparing breast feeding without covering to urinating or defacation in public, let me point out a simple fact to you: Breast feeding without covering is legal in most states.  Urinating or defacating in public is not.  For me, it's really as simple as the speed limit or taxes....you don't have to LIKE the laws but you have to obey them. 

I'm not going to waste my time arguing every single point that the prudish arguments on this debate offer.  I'm simply not.  What I WILL say is that there are a lot bigger fish to fry and far more offensive things to gripe about than a small portion of breast showing while a mother feeds her child. Perhaps we could stop sexualizing our society so much that something that is considered to be the healthiest method of feeding an infant isn't considered offensive to anyone.  Until that happens, exercise your right to turn your head if you don't like what you're seeing.

End of rant.