People seem to feel like relationships are disposable now. It's an epidemic. With the availability of porn and dating websites/apps, there are opportunities for eye candy without ever leaving your couch. Add on the over-sexing of pretty much all girls no matter how young by half of the population and you're headed for disaster. It's stopped being about who you want to grow old with and started being about who you can satisfy yourself with right now. It's unnerving.
In my humble opinion, there are five things that both genders SHOULD be doing in their relationship to make it last. (I'm going to write it from a feminine perspective but it applies to both genders.)
Treat your significant other as a gift. It sounds cheesy but it's absolutely 100% true. Think about the people you see around you or maybe even the people you know. When people are in the part of their relationship where they treat their significant other as a gift, they are never happier. The problem is that people get lazy. They start sneaking more and more junk food into their relationship diet until they're eating nothing but trash and they are unhealthy and blaming everyone else. Treat your significant other as a gift every single day.
Look for their positive attributes I'm relatively certain that our society has just become critical and negative. We thrive on American Idol (and similar shows) because we get to listen to someone get trashed no matter how well they do. However, if you want your relationship to last, you need to wake up every day and think about how lucky you are. Instead of focusing on their negatives, focus on their positives. (The exception is harmful addiction, abuse, or other such detrimental things.) Think about what made you fall for them to begin with.
Be Present. It sounds simple enough but it's just not. With how hectic our society is, it's hard to just stop and be there sometimes...no phone, no tv, nothing. Instead of being distracted, be present. It doesn't matter if you're interested in what they're talking about, get interested. Laugh together. Share those moments. Be there.
Keep your eyes on your own paper. This really involves more than your eyes but let's start there. Keep your eyes on YOUR prize. Stop looking around and idealizing other women. Your significant other is beautiful and you've chosen them for a reason. Stop looking at other things trying to get off and focus your attention on them. Furthermore, if you're one of those jackasses that hides in the wings and contacts other women while you're in a relationship (no matter how innocent you try to play it off), you need to get over yourself. It is NEVER acceptable to ask to meet up with another woman, have pictures of a woman or to flirt out of the scope of your relationship. It opens you up to some pretty serious crap and, frankly, if you're doing it, YOU'RE the one at fault.
Apologize. Everyone messes up. If you're fortunate enough to have a significant other that apologizes when they do, consider yourself lucky. If you're not, my condolences. I tend to be someone who apologizes even when I don't do anything wrong with the exception being when I'm extremely hurt (usually because I'm having my character assaulted). Choose to apologize if you want it to last. Believe me, it's worth your time and pride in what you'll gain.
Again, this applies to both genders, though it's written from female perspective. I watch way too many amazing women (and men) get treated like crap by their significant others who claim innocence or "just being a guy." If you're not doing these things and wondering why your relationship is failing, look no further. You're the problem.
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