For all of the expectant moms celebrating their first Mother's Day, I want to share what I consider to be the best advice you can get from this goofy mom of four....
First and Foremost, Take Every Single Piece of Advice You Get With a Grain of Salt. You're going to hear from damn near anyone and everyone. Not only will they tell you what you should and shouldn't do but they will also tell you how you should and shouldn't be doing these things. Let's be frank, there are a million ways to raise children and, for the most part, one is not better than the other. You know what's best for you and your baby. You'll know what's best for him or her from the minute they're born. Remember that.
Books Are Great But Don't Live By Them. Knowledge is power. That's undeniable. With that being said, there are thousands of baby books that all give different methods and advice. Reading too many parenting books is like googling your symptoms when you're sick....you'll get fifty different diagnoses and solutions, leaving you more confused than you began. Books will be helpful to give you ideas but they don't have to be your parenting Bible (so to speak).
There is No Wrong Answer This is important to remember when you're debating where the baby sleeps, what type of bottle to use or even whether to use one or not, whether or not a pacifier will cause nipple confusion, and a hundred other debates that come up. There is no right or wrong answer; there's only an answer that works for you. Every single baby is different and every family has different needs. Tommy Tippy bottles may work for Mom A but Mom B has a baby that hates them. Baby A might take a pacifier from day one and never get nipple confusion while Baby B won't even take a bottle. There is only what works for you and your family.
Just Because Babies R Us sells it, doesn't mean you need it. I look at the wide variety of gadgets available in awe every time I enter this store. Realistically, every generation looks at the new doo dads and wonders where they were when their kids were babies. Funny thing though, we all got by just fine without the doo dads. Working with kids and having four of my own, I can honestly tell you that a vast majority of the items available just end up taking up space. It is completely a judgment call as to what you think will make your life easier but don't feel like you need to have the entire contents of aisle 8 when you bring your baby home.
Diaper pails STINK. I have literally tested/used every type of diaper pail on the general market in this country in one place or another. It doesn't matter which one you buy, it will eventually stink. You can wind the diapers in bags and hide them but reality will tell you that poop stinks. Diaper Genie, Diaper Champ or just a trash can...in the end, it will all smell the same. My advice would be to change it frequently and skip the expensive hoopla.
It's Okay to Say No. I don't care if it's considered impolite by some. You have every right to say that you don't want guests because you're too tired or you're not feeling well or the baby's having a bad day or just because you don't feel like being social. Yes, people are going to probably want to help you by coming over and cooking or cleaning for you and if that works for you, fantastic! If you are like me, I didn't want people in the house because I felt like I needed to entertain them. It's okay to say no. The people that matter will get over it.
It's Also Okay to Say Yes. If someone offers to come over and you feel comfortable, by all means, it's okay to say yes. Unless they have some serious contagious illness, their germs are part of the baby's natural immunity building. I'm not suggesting you don't have them wash their hands (of course that's important) with your newborn. Don't feel guilty for accepting help or sleeping when the baby sleeps or turning off your ringer.
Put a Note on the Doorbell....and the Door.....and Directly on the Fed Ex Guys Head if He Still Rings It While I believe fully in making sure that the baby gets used to noise, most parents will agree that you still try to be moderately quiet when the baby's napping. Put a note on your doorbell (and door) that make it abundantly clear that you don't want it rung. There are very few things that can't wait on your doorstep for a little while.
Don't Listen to Birth Stories in Your Last Month Unless They're Pleasant The misconception that women don't remember their labor once they see their beautiful baby is crap. You realize it was worth it but you definitely don't forget it. Don't listen to people tell their horror stories in your last month. You don't need the anxiety.
and finally....
You Have the Right to Feel However You're Feeling. Don't Let Someone Tell You Otherwise. If you're enjoying your pregnancy down to the last day, don't let someone bring you down by saying that you should be "fat and miserable." By the same token, if you're just not feeling it, don't let someone tell you that you should "enjoy it before the baby comes." You have the right to feel however you are feeling: good, bad, happy, sad, energetic, bloated, sick, sexy....whatever.
More than anything, I want to tell you congratulations. Prepare for the ride of your life. You'll have your happiest and saddest moments. You'll have your most excited and your most exhausted moments. Nothing in the world, though, will compare to the love you have for your new baby!
Happy Mother's Day.
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