If you are the parent of a tween or teenage boy, you have probably had the great debate on shorts. You know the one: it's forty degrees outside and your son is wanting to walk around in shorts and a hoodie. Add in the fact that he is fighting like a sabertooth tiger to avoid having to wear a coat of ANY kind (including a light jacket) and strictly wants a hoodie and it's enough to drive you insane. My experience tells me there are 3 moms that deal with this problem....
You're-Doing-It-Because-I-Said-So Mom This is the mom that will get you to wear pants and/or a jacket at all costs. Whether she wrangles you down like a toddler with a tantrum and pins them on you or whether she guilts you into it, you're wearing those pants.
The Compromise Mom This is the mom that will negotiate with you. "Okay I understand it's gonna be 65 later so you can wear the shorts but can you please wear a jacket or, at the very least, a thicker hoodie?"
The Natural Consequence Mom This is the category I fall into. I've given up on fighting a battle that is stressful for everyone involved. If he's cold, he'll learn to wear something warmer. If he's not cold (and it's a possibility being that Colorado kids adapt to climate pretty well...then add in hormones and the fact that they're probably clowning around in the morning keeping the blood flow moving), then it's not worth fighting over anyway.
Whatever category you fall into, know that you're not alone. Most, if not all, tween and teenage boy parents deal with this argument. Keep your chin up.
Showing posts with label #mommyknowsbest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #mommyknowsbest. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
5 Things You Can Teach Your Child to Make Them a Better Person
There are 5 things I believe that you can teach your kids VERY young that will make all the difference in their social relationships as they grow. We have no real control over what our children "become" as an adult but we can definitely impact their hearts and help them to be better people as they grow.
1. Compassion: Some kids are more compassionate than others, by nature. However, even those that aren't compassionate at their core can be taught some level of compassion. Volunteer. Do things that teach children that the world is bigger than their little bubble. Teach them to try to help when they can. Teach them to care when someone else hurts.
2. Integrity. Teach your children that it doesn't matter who's watching...it matters what you know in your heart. Most of the time, kids know right from wrong, on some level. The fact is that they are often "taught" by peers to hide things from adults and do wrong anyway. Teach your children not only to do what's right at their core but to encourage others to do it too.
3. Honesty. Teach them that it's better to tell the truth than it is to lie. Encourage them to understand that even if honesty gets them into a little bit of trouble, they'd be in more trouble if they lie. Encourage them to understand that honesty breeds trust and trust is essential in almost every relationship you have.
4. Personal responsibility. This is a big one. Instead of placing blame, accept the responsibility for what you've done wrong. A good portion of our country's issues is lack of personal responsibility. People seem to be more inclined to place blame and make excuses than they are to admit they've made a mistake. Mistakes happen...you learn from them. But, as Dr Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."
5. Respect. This can span a wide road. Yes, it applies to manners. Yes it applies to listening to teachers, etc. But this also is about respecting themselves. It's about respect others, in general. It's about understanding that people will have different opinions. It's understanding that others may choose a different lifestyle than you do and that's okay. It's understanding that the choices people make aren't who they are (though that does not mean the choices are without consequence, in some cases). It's about respect for life, as a whole.
These 5 things don't guarantee that someone will become a good person. They don't guarantee that they'll make good choices or end up successful. What it does guarantee is that this, combined with love, will get your child started on a great track.
1. Compassion: Some kids are more compassionate than others, by nature. However, even those that aren't compassionate at their core can be taught some level of compassion. Volunteer. Do things that teach children that the world is bigger than their little bubble. Teach them to try to help when they can. Teach them to care when someone else hurts.
2. Integrity. Teach your children that it doesn't matter who's watching...it matters what you know in your heart. Most of the time, kids know right from wrong, on some level. The fact is that they are often "taught" by peers to hide things from adults and do wrong anyway. Teach your children not only to do what's right at their core but to encourage others to do it too.
3. Honesty. Teach them that it's better to tell the truth than it is to lie. Encourage them to understand that even if honesty gets them into a little bit of trouble, they'd be in more trouble if they lie. Encourage them to understand that honesty breeds trust and trust is essential in almost every relationship you have.
4. Personal responsibility. This is a big one. Instead of placing blame, accept the responsibility for what you've done wrong. A good portion of our country's issues is lack of personal responsibility. People seem to be more inclined to place blame and make excuses than they are to admit they've made a mistake. Mistakes happen...you learn from them. But, as Dr Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."
5. Respect. This can span a wide road. Yes, it applies to manners. Yes it applies to listening to teachers, etc. But this also is about respecting themselves. It's about respect others, in general. It's about understanding that people will have different opinions. It's understanding that others may choose a different lifestyle than you do and that's okay. It's understanding that the choices people make aren't who they are (though that does not mean the choices are without consequence, in some cases). It's about respect for life, as a whole.
These 5 things don't guarantee that someone will become a good person. They don't guarantee that they'll make good choices or end up successful. What it does guarantee is that this, combined with love, will get your child started on a great track.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
10 Ways to Be a Mean Mom
I sometimes get told by touchy feely moms that I'm a "mean mom" for being strict on my kids. I used to get really upset about it but I've learned to embrace it. One woman's "mean mom" is another woman's "keeping my sanity." Realistically the important part is that we have happy, healthy children, right? Not in our social media happy society. We must all agree...right? Not in my book.
So without further ado, my 10 ways to be a mean mom.
1. "Throw it away." My kids have each had the sting of the garbage bag to the bedroom. That's right. In my house, if you're warned to clean your room and choose not to, your belongings go to the thrift store. It's a hard lesson to learn but it's an effective one.
2. "Make them practice prioritizing." I am a firm believer that kids don't need a Toys R Us in their bedroom. When birthdays and Christmas start coming around, the kids and I go through their toys and other items and assess what they would be willing to donate. Then, when a holiday comes around, it's not so much clutter.
3. "Make them do chores....without pay." Yup, that's right. I'm the mean mom that has certain chores that I expect done without pay. Why? Because we work as a family and that means that everyone should contribute their very best.
4. "That may be what kids do but that's not what my kids do." My kids have heard this phrase more times than they care to say. They realize that their expectations are higher than the "let kids be kids" parents around them. Rules are rules. Period. I don't care what so-and-so's parents do.
5. "You don't have to like it but you have to accept it." Another frequently spoken phrase in our house. They used to debate it but, at this point, it's not even worth it to them anymore because they know what I'm going to say.
6. "Say no". While other parents are having "yes days" and not wanting to hurt their kids feelings, I understand that my job is to prepare them for the real world (while still nurturing them). The real world doesn't cater to their feelings all the time. Sometimes they need to hear the word "no."
7. "Make them eat their vegetables." I'm sorry but I just don't buy into cutting my kids' cucumbers into intricate little flowers to bribe them to eat it. I'm all for the "dip it in ranch" (or ketchup) if it helps you choke it down but the option is HOW to eat it, not whether to eat it. Yes, you are allowed to have a couple of veggies you don't like but you need to eat the vast majority.
8. "Demand respect." Now I use the term "demand" loosely. What I mean by this is that I find it perfectly acceptable to expect my children to respect their elders, their siblings, their friends, and their family. I expect for them to treat the janitor with the same level of respect as the CEO.
9. "Make them say please." I've been known to deny dessert, activities, and such to my kids if they start in with rude attitudes. I expect manners of all varieties including "yes ma'am" and "no sir" to adults. It's an important skill to learn in life.
and finally....
10. "Expect their best." Note that I didn't say to expect THE best but to expect THEIR best. You know your child and you know their abilities. Expect them to work at something with all of their effort and call them on it if they're slacking intentionally. You don't have to be a jerk but let them know that you know their potential. It may be an eye-roller on their part but they'll appreciate those votes of confidence as they age.
Look, if being a hardass is what works in my family, I'm okay with that. We have plenty of laughing, silly moments. We have a ton of "I'm so proud of you" moments and so many hugs and nurturing moments that I couldn't count them if I tried. That said, I'm also not afraid to balance that out with the discipline necessary (in my household) to make things run smoothly for everyone.....most of the time, anyway.
So without further ado, my 10 ways to be a mean mom.
1. "Throw it away." My kids have each had the sting of the garbage bag to the bedroom. That's right. In my house, if you're warned to clean your room and choose not to, your belongings go to the thrift store. It's a hard lesson to learn but it's an effective one.
2. "Make them practice prioritizing." I am a firm believer that kids don't need a Toys R Us in their bedroom. When birthdays and Christmas start coming around, the kids and I go through their toys and other items and assess what they would be willing to donate. Then, when a holiday comes around, it's not so much clutter.
3. "Make them do chores....without pay." Yup, that's right. I'm the mean mom that has certain chores that I expect done without pay. Why? Because we work as a family and that means that everyone should contribute their very best.
4. "That may be what kids do but that's not what my kids do." My kids have heard this phrase more times than they care to say. They realize that their expectations are higher than the "let kids be kids" parents around them. Rules are rules. Period. I don't care what so-and-so's parents do.
5. "You don't have to like it but you have to accept it." Another frequently spoken phrase in our house. They used to debate it but, at this point, it's not even worth it to them anymore because they know what I'm going to say.
6. "Say no". While other parents are having "yes days" and not wanting to hurt their kids feelings, I understand that my job is to prepare them for the real world (while still nurturing them). The real world doesn't cater to their feelings all the time. Sometimes they need to hear the word "no."
7. "Make them eat their vegetables." I'm sorry but I just don't buy into cutting my kids' cucumbers into intricate little flowers to bribe them to eat it. I'm all for the "dip it in ranch" (or ketchup) if it helps you choke it down but the option is HOW to eat it, not whether to eat it. Yes, you are allowed to have a couple of veggies you don't like but you need to eat the vast majority.
8. "Demand respect." Now I use the term "demand" loosely. What I mean by this is that I find it perfectly acceptable to expect my children to respect their elders, their siblings, their friends, and their family. I expect for them to treat the janitor with the same level of respect as the CEO.
9. "Make them say please." I've been known to deny dessert, activities, and such to my kids if they start in with rude attitudes. I expect manners of all varieties including "yes ma'am" and "no sir" to adults. It's an important skill to learn in life.
and finally....
10. "Expect their best." Note that I didn't say to expect THE best but to expect THEIR best. You know your child and you know their abilities. Expect them to work at something with all of their effort and call them on it if they're slacking intentionally. You don't have to be a jerk but let them know that you know their potential. It may be an eye-roller on their part but they'll appreciate those votes of confidence as they age.
Look, if being a hardass is what works in my family, I'm okay with that. We have plenty of laughing, silly moments. We have a ton of "I'm so proud of you" moments and so many hugs and nurturing moments that I couldn't count them if I tried. That said, I'm also not afraid to balance that out with the discipline necessary (in my household) to make things run smoothly for everyone.....most of the time, anyway.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
This is What Parenting Really Is
There are certain things in life that I believe make you truly realize that you're a parent. I'm not referring to the obvious ... birthing a child obviously makes you a parent. I'm talking about the moments that make you say, "Yup, this is what parenting really is...."
1. When the baby pees on you...if you're lucky, it's not in your face
2. When the baby poops through his clothes....in public
3. When your toddler repeats the swear word you accidentally said in front of her....in front of your mother in law
4. When your little man runs naked through the house after his bath
5. When your little man runs naked through the house after his snack
6. When your little man runs naked through the house after waking up
7. When your little man runs naked through the house before bed (noticing a pattern?)
8. When your little lady throws a flailing tantrum in the grocery store over not getting the Cookie Crisp cereal
9. When the PTA President gives you "that look" for bringing store bought cupcakes to the bake sale.
10. When the Principal has to call you to tell you that your son gave his friend an atomic wedgie
11. When your pre-teen rolls her eyes at you for the first time
12. When your pre teen rolls her eyes at you for the thirty seventh time
13. When your teenager rolls her eyes and sighs loudly every....time.....you......talk
14. When your kids just won't stop arguing....and you're there listening.
15. When after all of these things you still feel that insane love for your kids and realize that there is nothing they can ever do to change that...
1. When the baby pees on you...if you're lucky, it's not in your face
2. When the baby poops through his clothes....in public
3. When your toddler repeats the swear word you accidentally said in front of her....in front of your mother in law
4. When your little man runs naked through the house after his bath
5. When your little man runs naked through the house after his snack
6. When your little man runs naked through the house after waking up
7. When your little man runs naked through the house before bed (noticing a pattern?)
8. When your little lady throws a flailing tantrum in the grocery store over not getting the Cookie Crisp cereal
9. When the PTA President gives you "that look" for bringing store bought cupcakes to the bake sale.
10. When the Principal has to call you to tell you that your son gave his friend an atomic wedgie
11. When your pre-teen rolls her eyes at you for the first time
12. When your pre teen rolls her eyes at you for the thirty seventh time
13. When your teenager rolls her eyes and sighs loudly every....time.....you......talk
14. When your kids just won't stop arguing....and you're there listening.
15. When after all of these things you still feel that insane love for your kids and realize that there is nothing they can ever do to change that...
Friday, May 6, 2016
To the Working Mom on Mother's Day
Dear Working Mom,
You did it! You made it through another year! Your kids are doing fantastic and you're killing it!
You have a unique situation on Mother's Day and you face unique struggles. Your struggle is having to be away from your little ones during the day in order to provide them a better quality of life (or, in some cases, just to provide them life period because, let's face it, life is expensive). Most working moms don't want to be away but it's a necessary evil. Most have to rely on child care whether it's a family member, nanny, day care or anything of the like. We're always wondering, "Are we doing the right thing?"
The answer is yes, mama! Don't second guess yourself. You're working your ass off and your kids are thriving. Don't listen to the haters. Don't listen to the negative people that want to judge you. There will always be someone complaining. Know that your nanny (or day care teacher or whatever the case may be) sees all the amazing things you do and they're spending all day telling your little ones how much you love them. Know that their teachers see that you're doing you're best and how much you love them.
Even more than that, know this, Mama....your kids see it too. They're learning that hard work is the key to succeeding in life. They're learning that sacrifice is essential. They see that every moment you have with them is so much more special BECAUSE you have to be away during the day. Believe me, Mama...they'll know it as they age. They'll know that you had to go to work but that you were doing it ALL for them.
Keep your chin up. You're doing fantastic!
Sincerely,
Me
You did it! You made it through another year! Your kids are doing fantastic and you're killing it!
You have a unique situation on Mother's Day and you face unique struggles. Your struggle is having to be away from your little ones during the day in order to provide them a better quality of life (or, in some cases, just to provide them life period because, let's face it, life is expensive). Most working moms don't want to be away but it's a necessary evil. Most have to rely on child care whether it's a family member, nanny, day care or anything of the like. We're always wondering, "Are we doing the right thing?"
The answer is yes, mama! Don't second guess yourself. You're working your ass off and your kids are thriving. Don't listen to the haters. Don't listen to the negative people that want to judge you. There will always be someone complaining. Know that your nanny (or day care teacher or whatever the case may be) sees all the amazing things you do and they're spending all day telling your little ones how much you love them. Know that their teachers see that you're doing you're best and how much you love them.
Even more than that, know this, Mama....your kids see it too. They're learning that hard work is the key to succeeding in life. They're learning that sacrifice is essential. They see that every moment you have with them is so much more special BECAUSE you have to be away during the day. Believe me, Mama...they'll know it as they age. They'll know that you had to go to work but that you were doing it ALL for them.
Keep your chin up. You're doing fantastic!
Sincerely,
Me
Monday, May 2, 2016
10 Things I Can Now Do From the Toilet Since Having Kids
To lighten the mood a bit, I'd like to present the 10 things I, now, know I am capable of doing thanks to trying to use the bathroom as a mom....
1. Manage a small country. If I can handle the quarreling squibble squabble of four siblings in the prime of their fussy years, I am relatively certain I could manage a small country from my own personal porcelain throne.
2. Write an instruction manual. Inevitably, I'm asked questions that require detailed descriptions, which have taught me that I am quite capable of writing an instruction manual for nearly anything from the comfort of my booty box.
3. Interrogate a witness. If you've ever heard a crash while you're in the middle of pooping, you know exactly what I mean...."what was that noise? okay what were YOU doing when it happened..." all from the safety of the dump tank.
4. Be a traveling make up artist....because, let's face it, we're ALWAYS multi tasking as moms and sometimes you gotta cram in putting on your makeup while you're using the potty. I'm very capable of applying a full face of makeup with nothing but a tiny compact mirror in under 3 minutes while I pee.
5. Aid an expert composer in decoding a symphony. I know every sound I hear behind that door and I'm an expert at decoding what they're into now. I can hear a candy wrapper from another floor.
6. Serve as a human lie detector. "Are you playing on your phone?" "Noooooo" "S, are you SURE you wanna lie to me?" "I was playing on my phone, I'll put it away." Mic drop.
7. Scrub the toothpaste from the sink. Now, this has only worked for me because I have small homes that have sinks right next to the toilet. Let's face it, if I'm sitting there, I may as well do SOMETHING productive, right?
8. Creatively assess at least ten new nicknames for my son based on the fact that he canNOT stop peeing on the toilet seat. I'm thinking this would be helpful to the CIA to help them establish code names for undercover operations. Enter Operation Sprinkle McTinkle.
9. Nap. Okay I haven't REALLY figured this one out yet but I'm relatively certain that I might one day be able to achieve a quick power nap while I poo.
10. Maintain my sanity. That couple of minutes of quiet is so exactly what I need sometimes. My sanity is maintained and everyone survives outside the bathroom....even if they are waiting like alley cats at a dumpster when I get out.
1. Manage a small country. If I can handle the quarreling squibble squabble of four siblings in the prime of their fussy years, I am relatively certain I could manage a small country from my own personal porcelain throne.
2. Write an instruction manual. Inevitably, I'm asked questions that require detailed descriptions, which have taught me that I am quite capable of writing an instruction manual for nearly anything from the comfort of my booty box.
3. Interrogate a witness. If you've ever heard a crash while you're in the middle of pooping, you know exactly what I mean...."what was that noise? okay what were YOU doing when it happened..." all from the safety of the dump tank.
4. Be a traveling make up artist....because, let's face it, we're ALWAYS multi tasking as moms and sometimes you gotta cram in putting on your makeup while you're using the potty. I'm very capable of applying a full face of makeup with nothing but a tiny compact mirror in under 3 minutes while I pee.
5. Aid an expert composer in decoding a symphony. I know every sound I hear behind that door and I'm an expert at decoding what they're into now. I can hear a candy wrapper from another floor.
6. Serve as a human lie detector. "Are you playing on your phone?" "Noooooo" "S, are you SURE you wanna lie to me?" "I was playing on my phone, I'll put it away." Mic drop.
7. Scrub the toothpaste from the sink. Now, this has only worked for me because I have small homes that have sinks right next to the toilet. Let's face it, if I'm sitting there, I may as well do SOMETHING productive, right?
8. Creatively assess at least ten new nicknames for my son based on the fact that he canNOT stop peeing on the toilet seat. I'm thinking this would be helpful to the CIA to help them establish code names for undercover operations. Enter Operation Sprinkle McTinkle.
9. Nap. Okay I haven't REALLY figured this one out yet but I'm relatively certain that I might one day be able to achieve a quick power nap while I poo.
10. Maintain my sanity. That couple of minutes of quiet is so exactly what I need sometimes. My sanity is maintained and everyone survives outside the bathroom....even if they are waiting like alley cats at a dumpster when I get out.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Mother's Day Advice for Expectant Moms
For all of the expectant moms celebrating their first Mother's Day, I want to share what I consider to be the best advice you can get from this goofy mom of four....
First and Foremost, Take Every Single Piece of Advice You Get With a Grain of Salt. You're going to hear from damn near anyone and everyone. Not only will they tell you what you should and shouldn't do but they will also tell you how you should and shouldn't be doing these things. Let's be frank, there are a million ways to raise children and, for the most part, one is not better than the other. You know what's best for you and your baby. You'll know what's best for him or her from the minute they're born. Remember that.
Books Are Great But Don't Live By Them. Knowledge is power. That's undeniable. With that being said, there are thousands of baby books that all give different methods and advice. Reading too many parenting books is like googling your symptoms when you're sick....you'll get fifty different diagnoses and solutions, leaving you more confused than you began. Books will be helpful to give you ideas but they don't have to be your parenting Bible (so to speak).
There is No Wrong Answer This is important to remember when you're debating where the baby sleeps, what type of bottle to use or even whether to use one or not, whether or not a pacifier will cause nipple confusion, and a hundred other debates that come up. There is no right or wrong answer; there's only an answer that works for you. Every single baby is different and every family has different needs. Tommy Tippy bottles may work for Mom A but Mom B has a baby that hates them. Baby A might take a pacifier from day one and never get nipple confusion while Baby B won't even take a bottle. There is only what works for you and your family.
Just Because Babies R Us sells it, doesn't mean you need it. I look at the wide variety of gadgets available in awe every time I enter this store. Realistically, every generation looks at the new doo dads and wonders where they were when their kids were babies. Funny thing though, we all got by just fine without the doo dads. Working with kids and having four of my own, I can honestly tell you that a vast majority of the items available just end up taking up space. It is completely a judgment call as to what you think will make your life easier but don't feel like you need to have the entire contents of aisle 8 when you bring your baby home.
Diaper pails STINK. I have literally tested/used every type of diaper pail on the general market in this country in one place or another. It doesn't matter which one you buy, it will eventually stink. You can wind the diapers in bags and hide them but reality will tell you that poop stinks. Diaper Genie, Diaper Champ or just a trash can...in the end, it will all smell the same. My advice would be to change it frequently and skip the expensive hoopla.
It's Okay to Say No. I don't care if it's considered impolite by some. You have every right to say that you don't want guests because you're too tired or you're not feeling well or the baby's having a bad day or just because you don't feel like being social. Yes, people are going to probably want to help you by coming over and cooking or cleaning for you and if that works for you, fantastic! If you are like me, I didn't want people in the house because I felt like I needed to entertain them. It's okay to say no. The people that matter will get over it.
It's Also Okay to Say Yes. If someone offers to come over and you feel comfortable, by all means, it's okay to say yes. Unless they have some serious contagious illness, their germs are part of the baby's natural immunity building. I'm not suggesting you don't have them wash their hands (of course that's important) with your newborn. Don't feel guilty for accepting help or sleeping when the baby sleeps or turning off your ringer.
Put a Note on the Doorbell....and the Door.....and Directly on the Fed Ex Guys Head if He Still Rings It While I believe fully in making sure that the baby gets used to noise, most parents will agree that you still try to be moderately quiet when the baby's napping. Put a note on your doorbell (and door) that make it abundantly clear that you don't want it rung. There are very few things that can't wait on your doorstep for a little while.
Don't Listen to Birth Stories in Your Last Month Unless They're Pleasant The misconception that women don't remember their labor once they see their beautiful baby is crap. You realize it was worth it but you definitely don't forget it. Don't listen to people tell their horror stories in your last month. You don't need the anxiety.
and finally....
You Have the Right to Feel However You're Feeling. Don't Let Someone Tell You Otherwise. If you're enjoying your pregnancy down to the last day, don't let someone bring you down by saying that you should be "fat and miserable." By the same token, if you're just not feeling it, don't let someone tell you that you should "enjoy it before the baby comes." You have the right to feel however you are feeling: good, bad, happy, sad, energetic, bloated, sick, sexy....whatever.
More than anything, I want to tell you congratulations. Prepare for the ride of your life. You'll have your happiest and saddest moments. You'll have your most excited and your most exhausted moments. Nothing in the world, though, will compare to the love you have for your new baby!
Happy Mother's Day.
First and Foremost, Take Every Single Piece of Advice You Get With a Grain of Salt. You're going to hear from damn near anyone and everyone. Not only will they tell you what you should and shouldn't do but they will also tell you how you should and shouldn't be doing these things. Let's be frank, there are a million ways to raise children and, for the most part, one is not better than the other. You know what's best for you and your baby. You'll know what's best for him or her from the minute they're born. Remember that.
Books Are Great But Don't Live By Them. Knowledge is power. That's undeniable. With that being said, there are thousands of baby books that all give different methods and advice. Reading too many parenting books is like googling your symptoms when you're sick....you'll get fifty different diagnoses and solutions, leaving you more confused than you began. Books will be helpful to give you ideas but they don't have to be your parenting Bible (so to speak).
There is No Wrong Answer This is important to remember when you're debating where the baby sleeps, what type of bottle to use or even whether to use one or not, whether or not a pacifier will cause nipple confusion, and a hundred other debates that come up. There is no right or wrong answer; there's only an answer that works for you. Every single baby is different and every family has different needs. Tommy Tippy bottles may work for Mom A but Mom B has a baby that hates them. Baby A might take a pacifier from day one and never get nipple confusion while Baby B won't even take a bottle. There is only what works for you and your family.
Just Because Babies R Us sells it, doesn't mean you need it. I look at the wide variety of gadgets available in awe every time I enter this store. Realistically, every generation looks at the new doo dads and wonders where they were when their kids were babies. Funny thing though, we all got by just fine without the doo dads. Working with kids and having four of my own, I can honestly tell you that a vast majority of the items available just end up taking up space. It is completely a judgment call as to what you think will make your life easier but don't feel like you need to have the entire contents of aisle 8 when you bring your baby home.
Diaper pails STINK. I have literally tested/used every type of diaper pail on the general market in this country in one place or another. It doesn't matter which one you buy, it will eventually stink. You can wind the diapers in bags and hide them but reality will tell you that poop stinks. Diaper Genie, Diaper Champ or just a trash can...in the end, it will all smell the same. My advice would be to change it frequently and skip the expensive hoopla.
It's Okay to Say No. I don't care if it's considered impolite by some. You have every right to say that you don't want guests because you're too tired or you're not feeling well or the baby's having a bad day or just because you don't feel like being social. Yes, people are going to probably want to help you by coming over and cooking or cleaning for you and if that works for you, fantastic! If you are like me, I didn't want people in the house because I felt like I needed to entertain them. It's okay to say no. The people that matter will get over it.
It's Also Okay to Say Yes. If someone offers to come over and you feel comfortable, by all means, it's okay to say yes. Unless they have some serious contagious illness, their germs are part of the baby's natural immunity building. I'm not suggesting you don't have them wash their hands (of course that's important) with your newborn. Don't feel guilty for accepting help or sleeping when the baby sleeps or turning off your ringer.
Put a Note on the Doorbell....and the Door.....and Directly on the Fed Ex Guys Head if He Still Rings It While I believe fully in making sure that the baby gets used to noise, most parents will agree that you still try to be moderately quiet when the baby's napping. Put a note on your doorbell (and door) that make it abundantly clear that you don't want it rung. There are very few things that can't wait on your doorstep for a little while.
Don't Listen to Birth Stories in Your Last Month Unless They're Pleasant The misconception that women don't remember their labor once they see their beautiful baby is crap. You realize it was worth it but you definitely don't forget it. Don't listen to people tell their horror stories in your last month. You don't need the anxiety.
and finally....
You Have the Right to Feel However You're Feeling. Don't Let Someone Tell You Otherwise. If you're enjoying your pregnancy down to the last day, don't let someone bring you down by saying that you should be "fat and miserable." By the same token, if you're just not feeling it, don't let someone tell you that you should "enjoy it before the baby comes." You have the right to feel however you are feeling: good, bad, happy, sad, energetic, bloated, sick, sexy....whatever.
More than anything, I want to tell you congratulations. Prepare for the ride of your life. You'll have your happiest and saddest moments. You'll have your most excited and your most exhausted moments. Nothing in the world, though, will compare to the love you have for your new baby!
Happy Mother's Day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)