There are a lot of nice ways to say things and then there is the way that I might say it instead. I've seen some people lately be judgmental and cruel for no apparent reason and I loathe cruelty. So here are the ways I've adapted famous quotes to fit my no-filter (at least for those that are dickheads) personality....
Quote: " If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" (Thumper, Bambi)
Heatherism: If you can't say something nice, shut the fu** up
Quote: "Be Kind Whenever possible. It is always possible" (Dalai Lama)
Heatherism: Stop being a dick!
Quote: "Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not" (Samuel Johnson)
Heatherism: You're not being a dick because of THEM, you're being a dick because of YOU!
In short, if your words are not improving the situation, keep them to yourselves. Yes, everyone is ENTITLED to their opinion but it is not always necessary or appropriate to say it. If you are just being hurtful in your words or actions, you're being a dick and it's unnecessary!
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Friday, May 30, 2014
Vengeance and other stuff
So there's this story out about a bakery that wouldn't do a wedding cake for a same sex couple and how they're being chastised for it publically. I have a kind of strong opinion about this but it's not why you may think. First of all, I fully support ANYONE who wants to get married having that right. I don't have to live a particular lifestyle to support those that do. I'm not a military spouse but I fully support and admire military families for all they go through. Same concept for things like gay marriage....I don't have to BE gay to SUPPORT gay and lesbian marriage.
With all of that being said, my opinion on the bakery is this. While I don't AGREE with their approach (not baking cakes for gay marriages), I support their right to HAVE that opinion. It is their Constitutional right to have their own opinions and to refuse service to whomever they choose. There are blurry lines now because of laws that prohibit discrimination but people should be able to choose not to bake a cake. The fact is, there are other bakeries....a lot of them that would be happy to bake the cake for that wedding. All of this brings me to my actual post for today...
Remember when if you didn't like something, you just did or got something else. If you're handed a menu in a restaurant, they tell you the specials but that doesn't mean you HAVE to buy the special. You can buy ANYTHING you want from the menu or even customize it. You don't have to criticize the other food on the menu...you just pick what you want and order it. It's the same concept here. It did NOT have to be a public spectacle on the news over this. Look at the baker and say, "Fine I'll take my business elsewhere." You don't have to like it or them but you also don't have to ruin their business.
Life has become far too much about vengeance for so many. It's a "take no prisoners" world. People that don't agree with you MUST be crushed. Forget letting karma take care of it...they MUST be crushed. It's awful in adults but it's being passed on to our kids. It's ridiculous and beyond crazy!
Moral? Think before you destroy something or someone. Everyone gets their Godsmack and I'd rather WATCH someone get theirs than cause it myself and get their godsmack for them.
With all of that being said, my opinion on the bakery is this. While I don't AGREE with their approach (not baking cakes for gay marriages), I support their right to HAVE that opinion. It is their Constitutional right to have their own opinions and to refuse service to whomever they choose. There are blurry lines now because of laws that prohibit discrimination but people should be able to choose not to bake a cake. The fact is, there are other bakeries....a lot of them that would be happy to bake the cake for that wedding. All of this brings me to my actual post for today...
Remember when if you didn't like something, you just did or got something else. If you're handed a menu in a restaurant, they tell you the specials but that doesn't mean you HAVE to buy the special. You can buy ANYTHING you want from the menu or even customize it. You don't have to criticize the other food on the menu...you just pick what you want and order it. It's the same concept here. It did NOT have to be a public spectacle on the news over this. Look at the baker and say, "Fine I'll take my business elsewhere." You don't have to like it or them but you also don't have to ruin their business.
Life has become far too much about vengeance for so many. It's a "take no prisoners" world. People that don't agree with you MUST be crushed. Forget letting karma take care of it...they MUST be crushed. It's awful in adults but it's being passed on to our kids. It's ridiculous and beyond crazy!
Moral? Think before you destroy something or someone. Everyone gets their Godsmack and I'd rather WATCH someone get theirs than cause it myself and get their godsmack for them.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Throwback Thursday take 2
Around this time last year, I was shooting the
Jackson in Action 83 Foundation's
Fatigues to Fashion Show
in Colorado Springs
with Mr Vincent Jackson of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
What an experience!
12 Things They Don't Tell You About Having Kids
1. You're ALWAYS going to wonder if you're doing it right It doesn't matter how many books you read, studies you research, methods you try, or degrees you have, you're always going to wonder if you're doing things right and there are always going to be things to sway you in either direction.
2. It's not always fun Books and commercials will have you feel as if you should always be in a state of bliss raising children. Let's be honest...it's not always fun. Terrible twos, tyrannical threes and the throwback teenage years are somehow not always a pleasant experience.
3. You're going to receive more unsolicited advice than you will ever, ever want. Everyone will feel the need to tell you what you "need" to do with your children. The best ones are people that don't have children...they always think they know what they're talking about.
4. They smell. I know that's kind of a crude thing to say but it's true. As infants, it's natural because they wear diapers. They go through a bit of a non-smelly phase and then BOOM puberty hits and you're wondering what the fog of funk in the house is...kids smell.
5. Boys are NOT easier than girls...they're different Puberty hits boys and girls very, very differently but the fact is that neither is easier. Both will make you want to pull your hair out.
6. Everything you've ever said "never" about will happen in spades You're re-thinking everything you've said it about now, aren't you. "My child will NEVER throw tantrums. My child will NEVER smart off to me....." Yeah, God has a funny sense of humor. That is all.
7. You can't always trust doctors and studies to get it right The current correct methods of doing nearly everything with children changes pretty regularly. Belly to sleep, side to sleep, back to sleep. Rear-facing until age 1, rear facing until age 2, rear facing as long as possible. Quite frankly, gut instinct is always a great indicator, in my opinion.
8. Those string bikinis you thought were adorable before you had kids will appall you when you have a 5 year old that wants one. Admit it, you're not putting your daughter in that. It's not entirely appropriate and she's too little. Kids have a tendency to change your outlook.
9. You're going to be exhausted....24/7 Even being past the newborn stage, you will always have sleepless nights. It's a fact of life. Parenting is exhausting...when it's done correctly.
10. You will never "be ready" for the next phase they're facing You've heard people say "I'm not ready?" There's a reason for that. You're never ready for them to grow up and it goes by in the blink of an eye.
11. It's the most rewarding and yet the most hair-pulling experience ever Kids will stretch the limits of your patience...but they'll also stretch the limits of your love.
12. You're NEVER ready You can wait as long as you want to "be ready" but you'll never be ready. There's no preparation for the whirlwind that comes with having kids...none.
2. It's not always fun Books and commercials will have you feel as if you should always be in a state of bliss raising children. Let's be honest...it's not always fun. Terrible twos, tyrannical threes and the throwback teenage years are somehow not always a pleasant experience.
3. You're going to receive more unsolicited advice than you will ever, ever want. Everyone will feel the need to tell you what you "need" to do with your children. The best ones are people that don't have children...they always think they know what they're talking about.
4. They smell. I know that's kind of a crude thing to say but it's true. As infants, it's natural because they wear diapers. They go through a bit of a non-smelly phase and then BOOM puberty hits and you're wondering what the fog of funk in the house is...kids smell.
5. Boys are NOT easier than girls...they're different Puberty hits boys and girls very, very differently but the fact is that neither is easier. Both will make you want to pull your hair out.
6. Everything you've ever said "never" about will happen in spades You're re-thinking everything you've said it about now, aren't you. "My child will NEVER throw tantrums. My child will NEVER smart off to me....." Yeah, God has a funny sense of humor. That is all.
7. You can't always trust doctors and studies to get it right The current correct methods of doing nearly everything with children changes pretty regularly. Belly to sleep, side to sleep, back to sleep. Rear-facing until age 1, rear facing until age 2, rear facing as long as possible. Quite frankly, gut instinct is always a great indicator, in my opinion.
8. Those string bikinis you thought were adorable before you had kids will appall you when you have a 5 year old that wants one. Admit it, you're not putting your daughter in that. It's not entirely appropriate and she's too little. Kids have a tendency to change your outlook.
9. You're going to be exhausted....24/7 Even being past the newborn stage, you will always have sleepless nights. It's a fact of life. Parenting is exhausting...when it's done correctly.
10. You will never "be ready" for the next phase they're facing You've heard people say "I'm not ready?" There's a reason for that. You're never ready for them to grow up and it goes by in the blink of an eye.
11. It's the most rewarding and yet the most hair-pulling experience ever Kids will stretch the limits of your patience...but they'll also stretch the limits of your love.
12. You're NEVER ready You can wait as long as you want to "be ready" but you'll never be ready. There's no preparation for the whirlwind that comes with having kids...none.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Proud of my Crazies
It is in the moments like today that I really start to appreciate how great my crazies are. They got their report cards and they were AMAZING!
Alyssa was close to straight A's and showed TREMENDOUS effort in everything. She tested out of one of her courses for next year which is FANTASTIC! She's showing more responsibility and she's such a sweet, sweet smart girl. I'm so proud of her.
Anthony was a straight A student even with a grade ahead's studies AND is advanced in math....like REALLY advanced in math (and P.E.). I'm really proud of him.
Daniel Andrew did fantastic AND showed signs of advancement in math and science (and some in reading as well). He's a child that I was told wouldn't go far and he is completely un-medicated and ADVANCED! What an incredible accomplishment.
Sydney was above average in pretty much everything. She tested advanced in everything. She's a very bright, articulate little sweet girl.
For all of the crap I was given when I started the endeavor into moving them to Colorado, I am a very proud mama. They are happier than they've ever been. They are healthier than they've ever been. They are doing better in school. They are doing better socially. I'm so proud of them in so many ways that it makes me want to cry!
Proud mama moment :)
Alyssa was close to straight A's and showed TREMENDOUS effort in everything. She tested out of one of her courses for next year which is FANTASTIC! She's showing more responsibility and she's such a sweet, sweet smart girl. I'm so proud of her.
Anthony was a straight A student even with a grade ahead's studies AND is advanced in math....like REALLY advanced in math (and P.E.). I'm really proud of him.
Daniel Andrew did fantastic AND showed signs of advancement in math and science (and some in reading as well). He's a child that I was told wouldn't go far and he is completely un-medicated and ADVANCED! What an incredible accomplishment.
Sydney was above average in pretty much everything. She tested advanced in everything. She's a very bright, articulate little sweet girl.
For all of the crap I was given when I started the endeavor into moving them to Colorado, I am a very proud mama. They are happier than they've ever been. They are healthier than they've ever been. They are doing better in school. They are doing better socially. I'm so proud of them in so many ways that it makes me want to cry!
Proud mama moment :)
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Small Gestures
I think I'm finally back in the game. My poor shoulder feels SOOO much better than it was feeling and I have a bit more stable in using my arm from the elbow down. Check up is this week so I can get it looked at and see if it's healed enough to start using it again. If it IS, I'm limited in some of the things I can do temporarily BUT it's a start in the right direction.
So today I'm thinking about how much small gestures can make a difference in someone's day. I'm a big believer in doing things for people, even if it's something that seems small and ridiculous to you. While a lot of these apply to things I do with my kids, there's also something to be said for doing them for adults too....
One More Hug This one is actually one that I LOVE receiving myself...one more hug/kiss. Because life is unpredictable, I'm a firm believer in giving as many hugs and kisses as you can.
"I got you your favorite" I'm infamous for getting or making favorite treats for my loved ones whether it's a popsicle or a favorite meal like lasagna. It seems like a small gesture but it's really a show of appreciation for someone being in my life.
Sitting through a movie you loathe Okay "loathe" might be an exaggeration but we've all done it, especially for our kids. Sitting through a movie you're not even a little interested in just to make them happy.
Dropping everything for them Sometimes it's impossible but there are a lot of times that what we're doing is not essential so much as just convenient prioritizing. Being able to drop everything for the important people in your life is a huge show of love.
and finally.....
Encouragement This sounds small and a strange thing that we overlook but the truth is that encouraging someone, even in the smallest moments, can make a world of difference in their day. Just letting them know how much they're loved and appreciated makes all the difference.
So today I'm thinking about how much small gestures can make a difference in someone's day. I'm a big believer in doing things for people, even if it's something that seems small and ridiculous to you. While a lot of these apply to things I do with my kids, there's also something to be said for doing them for adults too....
One More Hug This one is actually one that I LOVE receiving myself...one more hug/kiss. Because life is unpredictable, I'm a firm believer in giving as many hugs and kisses as you can.
"I got you your favorite" I'm infamous for getting or making favorite treats for my loved ones whether it's a popsicle or a favorite meal like lasagna. It seems like a small gesture but it's really a show of appreciation for someone being in my life.
Sitting through a movie you loathe Okay "loathe" might be an exaggeration but we've all done it, especially for our kids. Sitting through a movie you're not even a little interested in just to make them happy.
Dropping everything for them Sometimes it's impossible but there are a lot of times that what we're doing is not essential so much as just convenient prioritizing. Being able to drop everything for the important people in your life is a huge show of love.
and finally.....
Encouragement This sounds small and a strange thing that we overlook but the truth is that encouraging someone, even in the smallest moments, can make a world of difference in their day. Just letting them know how much they're loved and appreciated makes all the difference.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Saving Money!
I'm a cheapskate. I admit it fully. I'm not over the top but I am definitely thrifty when it comes to nearly everything. Ironically enough, I just took a trip to the grocery store today and after coupons and using my savers card, I saved myself $47 and got my order of $97.14 for $49.88. I shop at different stores for different items and still manage to feed my family well on a budget...how? I'm thrifty.
Here are my tips and tricks for saving money as a single mama.....
*Coupons. Lots of lots of coupons.
*Pay attention. Sometimes, even with sales, you are better off with store brand products which are often produced in the same distributing center and have a different label slapped onto them.
*Price per Unit. This is the key to finding a good bargain...price per unit. Don't judge it strictly based on price because advertisers are GREAT at pulling you in like that.
*Thrift shops, consignment stores, and garage sales. If you aren't already in the groove of going to these places, you should get that way. You can save ALOT of money, get quality items and put a little elbow grease into fixing up some really neat and unique stuff.
*Sales. Now here's the tricky part. First of all, you need to make sure they're not just hiking the prices up so that their "sale" prices are actually their normal regular price. Secondly, you need to go in, get JUST what you came in for and leave.
and finally.....
*Make a list. It is proven that you spend less when you have a list. Make a list and don't stray from it or set a limit of "stray money" (Mine is $5 in case there's an extra special deal)
Here are my tips and tricks for saving money as a single mama.....
*Coupons. Lots of lots of coupons.
*Pay attention. Sometimes, even with sales, you are better off with store brand products which are often produced in the same distributing center and have a different label slapped onto them.
*Price per Unit. This is the key to finding a good bargain...price per unit. Don't judge it strictly based on price because advertisers are GREAT at pulling you in like that.
*Thrift shops, consignment stores, and garage sales. If you aren't already in the groove of going to these places, you should get that way. You can save ALOT of money, get quality items and put a little elbow grease into fixing up some really neat and unique stuff.
*Sales. Now here's the tricky part. First of all, you need to make sure they're not just hiking the prices up so that their "sale" prices are actually their normal regular price. Secondly, you need to go in, get JUST what you came in for and leave.
and finally.....
*Make a list. It is proven that you spend less when you have a list. Make a list and don't stray from it or set a limit of "stray money" (Mine is $5 in case there's an extra special deal)
Friday, May 23, 2014
Cousins
I disappeared off the grid because I hurt my shoulder....how? Well, let's just say that the wood stairs were not kind to me. I'm ready to be done with the sling and over the inability to fully use both hands. With all of that being said, I'm BACK!
Today I'm pondering cousins. They are the first real friends I think most people ever have. I was fortunate enough to have a cousin that was just two months older than me in age that grew up a few blocks away. All said, I have a lot of cousins and a good portion of my cousins now have children of their own. Some I don't keep in touch with much (as with other members of my family) and some I talk to nearly as often as I talk to my dad. I find that getting older has given me perspective.
I have a soft spot in my heart for some of my cousins, in particular. So without naming names, here goes...
My Big Mouth New Englander cousin- I actually say big mouth in a positive way. She's an amazing woman. She will defend you til the death but she will also tell you that you're being an asshole if you are. She's incredibly strong and independent and I've looked up to her since I was a kid (she's a bit older).
My Car Nut Cousin Ironically he and I weren't very close growing up. He was a bit older and mostly "too cool" for me. As we've gotten older and life has happened, we've actually gotten bit closer and he is DEFINITELY one of my favorites. He accepts me exactly as I am and I love him to pieces.
My "Baby" Cousin Okay, he's not THAT much younger than me (though he swears I babysat him as a kid....which I very well could have. LOL) but I'll always think of him as my baby cousin. I love him to pieces. He is literally the sweetest, most awesome "baby" cousin a girl could ask for.
and finally....
My adopted cousin My "adopted" family is just as much family to me as my biological family is (if not more, in some cases). My favorite adopted cousin just had her third baby (stairstep kids like mine) and we talk all the time. She swears she looks up to me for parenting advice and I love her kids like my own. She's WONDERFUL!
I can only hope that my kids appreciate their cousins as much as I appreciate mine.
Today I'm pondering cousins. They are the first real friends I think most people ever have. I was fortunate enough to have a cousin that was just two months older than me in age that grew up a few blocks away. All said, I have a lot of cousins and a good portion of my cousins now have children of their own. Some I don't keep in touch with much (as with other members of my family) and some I talk to nearly as often as I talk to my dad. I find that getting older has given me perspective.
I have a soft spot in my heart for some of my cousins, in particular. So without naming names, here goes...
My Big Mouth New Englander cousin- I actually say big mouth in a positive way. She's an amazing woman. She will defend you til the death but she will also tell you that you're being an asshole if you are. She's incredibly strong and independent and I've looked up to her since I was a kid (she's a bit older).
My Car Nut Cousin Ironically he and I weren't very close growing up. He was a bit older and mostly "too cool" for me. As we've gotten older and life has happened, we've actually gotten bit closer and he is DEFINITELY one of my favorites. He accepts me exactly as I am and I love him to pieces.
My "Baby" Cousin Okay, he's not THAT much younger than me (though he swears I babysat him as a kid....which I very well could have. LOL) but I'll always think of him as my baby cousin. I love him to pieces. He is literally the sweetest, most awesome "baby" cousin a girl could ask for.
and finally....
My adopted cousin My "adopted" family is just as much family to me as my biological family is (if not more, in some cases). My favorite adopted cousin just had her third baby (stairstep kids like mine) and we talk all the time. She swears she looks up to me for parenting advice and I love her kids like my own. She's WONDERFUL!
I can only hope that my kids appreciate their cousins as much as I appreciate mine.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Time Flies
As a nanny, I regularly tell my bosses not to take a moment for granted....time flies so fast. While looking for a picture the other day, I stumbled across a picture on my phone of my first day with my little work minion. She wasn't but a few months old and was sleeping. Now I look at her walking around, smiling, talking, and just being active and I go, "Wow...it flies." Time flies.
I can't believe it's already May. I can't believe that time has flown by so quickly this year. I can't believe that my "baby" is a teenager and she's going to be in high school soon. The time FLIES.
I guess my short but sweet post today is just not to take anything for granted. It flies by in an instant. Don't take the people or the time you have with them for granted because it can be gone in a second.
I can't believe it's already May. I can't believe that time has flown by so quickly this year. I can't believe that my "baby" is a teenager and she's going to be in high school soon. The time FLIES.
I guess my short but sweet post today is just not to take anything for granted. It flies by in an instant. Don't take the people or the time you have with them for granted because it can be gone in a second.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Grass...and Appreciation
I was thinking yesterday about he assumption that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Everyone knows that assuming this is like saying that you're not appreciating what you have. I think there's more to it than that. Here's what I know....
The grass is NOT greener, even if it looks that way Actual grass has different types and some are a different shade of green. However, that doesn't mean that one is actual "greener" than the other. By definition, the grass doesn't actually get "greener"...it's just a different shade of green. What you perceive as greener grass is really just different grass...a different kind of green.
The grass only looks more plush because it's nourished well Any grass, when well cared for can be absolutely beautiful. When it's fertilized well, watered and taken care of, grass can grow to be full and plush and wonderful. When you give the rough patches extra attention, they come around too. Life is the same way.
Ten to one, the grass looks better because of the rest of the landscaping People that take pride in their grass normally take pride in the rest of the yard too. They build nice fences, plant pretty flowers....it all goes back to the idea of nourishing what you have. If you build up nice fences to protect your grass, it's a way of making sure that it's safe. If you plant pretty flowers by it, it's a way to appreciate the beauty of what you have.
A beautiful yard is more about the dedication than the actual materials That's the ultimate truth here. A beautiful yard is reliant on the materials used to maintain it, yes. However, it is MORE reliant on the time and effort you put into it. It stays beautiful because you're paying attention to it and to its needs.
Ultimately, appreciating what you have is about putting time and effort into it. It's about watching and knowing when to water, when to fertilize and when to let things grow.
The grass is NOT greener, even if it looks that way Actual grass has different types and some are a different shade of green. However, that doesn't mean that one is actual "greener" than the other. By definition, the grass doesn't actually get "greener"...it's just a different shade of green. What you perceive as greener grass is really just different grass...a different kind of green.
The grass only looks more plush because it's nourished well Any grass, when well cared for can be absolutely beautiful. When it's fertilized well, watered and taken care of, grass can grow to be full and plush and wonderful. When you give the rough patches extra attention, they come around too. Life is the same way.
Ten to one, the grass looks better because of the rest of the landscaping People that take pride in their grass normally take pride in the rest of the yard too. They build nice fences, plant pretty flowers....it all goes back to the idea of nourishing what you have. If you build up nice fences to protect your grass, it's a way of making sure that it's safe. If you plant pretty flowers by it, it's a way to appreciate the beauty of what you have.
A beautiful yard is more about the dedication than the actual materials That's the ultimate truth here. A beautiful yard is reliant on the materials used to maintain it, yes. However, it is MORE reliant on the time and effort you put into it. It stays beautiful because you're paying attention to it and to its needs.
Ultimately, appreciating what you have is about putting time and effort into it. It's about watching and knowing when to water, when to fertilize and when to let things grow.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
A Saturday Nugget
Life is sometimes full of the strangest surprises. You think that things are at their worst, and in a lot of ways, they ARE. But then you get something that could be encouraging that comes out of the blue. It doesn't mean that all of the bad stuff goes away. It just means that the bad stuff starts to seem a little smaller...even if it isn't. It gives you back your hope.
I am convinced that the journey ahead of me in my life will not be without challenge but that God has a plan...a big plan and it's going to be great.
I am convinced that the journey ahead of me in my life will not be without challenge but that God has a plan...a big plan and it's going to be great.
Friday, May 9, 2014
All at Once....or Nothing at All
This is what I had pop up on my phone yesterday and it's insanely and completely true!!!
Currently, I feel like I have a weird mix of both of these happening....
Like in some areas things are at a stalemate waiting on God
and in other areas, everything is hitting at once.
I firmly believe that in these moments God is trying to tell you something.
Sometimes we all try to hold on to things that God is trying to take out of our hands.
Sometimes, God gives you an incredibly weird circumstance to meet someone new.
Sometimes God takes people out of your life.
Sometimes God takes THINGS out of your life.
Sometimes things just happen and you have no idea what you're going to do.
No matter what, I believe that God has it under control and that HE has the ability
to bring things together in a way that no one else on the planet can do.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Wooing the TRUE Female Sports Fan
So you want to woo a female sports fan? Good for you! Let me be clear about a couple of things.. I'm not referring to the Daphnes that want to trot around in their Victoria's Secret NFL gear and claim to be a true fan of their team but can't tell you a single member of the roster besides the big names. These "fans" aren't hard to flatter, nor are they hard to secure in most cases. I'm referring to women like myself. Hard core female sports fans are a much more rare breed than most and are a challenge on a lot of levels for a lot of men to not only woo but also to keep. So let's explore a little about them before we move on.
True FSF (female sports fans) are relatively easy to spot in certain conditions. At the Superbowl parties, you're gonna mostly find them sitting with them men...and they're the ones that are engrossed in the game, not the ads. They're the ones that are talking smack on commercials but not saying a word besides yelling at the screen when the game is on. They are not chatting over the latest fashions and they don't say the words "Oh that's so cute, where did you get it?" over a face tattoo. Not Superbowl time? You can still find their rare breed. You can find us in a sports bar. While everyone else is talking, you'll find these women completely engrossed in and distracted by the TVs with sporting events on. You'll frequently hear "Huh?" come from their table as the other patron tries to have conversation with a woman who is so clearly sucked into a hockey game that it's almost ridiculous. You can spot them starting a conversation about your team and listening as they tell you exactly why your team sucks, how your team sucks and the stats with WHICH your team sucks. They are avid ESPN watchers/readers and can sing the theme from Sports Center better than the theme from "Grey's Anatomy" (which I'm not even sure of having a theme song being as I have never watched an episode). True Hard-Core FSF's like myself have respect for the sport and, once their team is out, they'll root for the team that is the most deserving....gritting their teeth the whole way but understanding that the game demands a certain level of respect. THESE are the sports fans you're trying to get....still interested? Let's move on....
The Approach This one is not as complicated as you may think. Most true hardcore FSF's are easy enough to strike up conversation with..."Can you believe that call!?! Penalty my ass!" What I will say is that you need to be prepared. If you have observed the "creature" in its natural habitat, you've seen exactly how powerful it truly is. It is NOT wise for you to start into this lightly because she's likely to come back in a way that seems almost too masculine for most. I have a tendency to launch into full on commentator mode and that can be very intimidating for some. If you cannot handle the FSF's full being, you shouldn't ever approach them to begin with.
The Date Congratulations, you've secured her. Now comes the hard part. While a sporting event is ALWAYS a winner, you need to be prepared because she's likely to be loud and obnoxious. She won't scream at other fans, necessarily, but she will likely scream at player, refs and so on. She will be the one making you do "the wave" or sing whatever random song your stadium plays. You need to be prepared to be "all in" at these events or, at the very least, to watch her. You need to be prepared that there may not be much conversation that takes place to get to know her during the game. It's probably gonna be wise to make sure you have a meal planned before or after. Also, be prepared...most FSF's enjoy a beer or two. We are not martini drinkers and we're not into the fruity drinks....give us a cold Coors Light and we're happy.
It doesn't have to be a live sporting event. Sports bars or other venues as such are also great. Again, be prepared for them to yell at the screen, quote random stats, Be prepared for them to not show much interest in conversation until there's a commercial. This is the price you pay for engaging a FSF in a sporting event.
Perhaps something a little different is in order. Not all FSF's are the same on this one. Most of us enjoy adventure, outdoorsy things, and experiencing life as opposed to just sitting at home. Me personally? I could take a walk around 16th Street Mall and some Mellow Mushroom pizza and beer any day of the week. I could take a hike or a walk through a museum. The point is that you can entertain a FSF however as long as you're prepared for random off-topic sports conversation if the topic comes up. We're on 24/7 and it's an unfortunate side effect....which is not always fun or acceptable.
The Best Things You Can Do for Her The very best things you can do for a FSF is to let her be herself. Let her truly enjoy what she loves and encourage it. If you're not ready for that, don't even pursue her to begin with. Fix her some fried food and let her watch football during football season. Take her out on a date to watch a game. Buy her a jersey just because. Treat her life a queen because as masculine as their interest is, their heart is still a woman.
The Worst Things to Do Don't even bother trying to get with her if you can't handle her. She's bound to be strong-willed and opinionated. If you can't handle it, don't even bother trying to get her. Do NOT act embarrassed by her because FSF's have a tendency to be strong and independent and she WILL kick you to the curb. Do NOT ignore her because she's got other interests and you'll soon become a thing of the past.
In short, it's a rare man that can handle a hard-core FSF and, for most, it's better to not approach them head on if you can't handle it. If you CAN handle it, remember that she's still a woman underneath that tough exterior and once you get her, continue to woo her and you'll never lose her :)
True FSF (female sports fans) are relatively easy to spot in certain conditions. At the Superbowl parties, you're gonna mostly find them sitting with them men...and they're the ones that are engrossed in the game, not the ads. They're the ones that are talking smack on commercials but not saying a word besides yelling at the screen when the game is on. They are not chatting over the latest fashions and they don't say the words "Oh that's so cute, where did you get it?" over a face tattoo. Not Superbowl time? You can still find their rare breed. You can find us in a sports bar. While everyone else is talking, you'll find these women completely engrossed in and distracted by the TVs with sporting events on. You'll frequently hear "Huh?" come from their table as the other patron tries to have conversation with a woman who is so clearly sucked into a hockey game that it's almost ridiculous. You can spot them starting a conversation about your team and listening as they tell you exactly why your team sucks, how your team sucks and the stats with WHICH your team sucks. They are avid ESPN watchers/readers and can sing the theme from Sports Center better than the theme from "Grey's Anatomy" (which I'm not even sure of having a theme song being as I have never watched an episode). True Hard-Core FSF's like myself have respect for the sport and, once their team is out, they'll root for the team that is the most deserving....gritting their teeth the whole way but understanding that the game demands a certain level of respect. THESE are the sports fans you're trying to get....still interested? Let's move on....
The Approach This one is not as complicated as you may think. Most true hardcore FSF's are easy enough to strike up conversation with..."Can you believe that call!?! Penalty my ass!" What I will say is that you need to be prepared. If you have observed the "creature" in its natural habitat, you've seen exactly how powerful it truly is. It is NOT wise for you to start into this lightly because she's likely to come back in a way that seems almost too masculine for most. I have a tendency to launch into full on commentator mode and that can be very intimidating for some. If you cannot handle the FSF's full being, you shouldn't ever approach them to begin with.
The Date Congratulations, you've secured her. Now comes the hard part. While a sporting event is ALWAYS a winner, you need to be prepared because she's likely to be loud and obnoxious. She won't scream at other fans, necessarily, but she will likely scream at player, refs and so on. She will be the one making you do "the wave" or sing whatever random song your stadium plays. You need to be prepared to be "all in" at these events or, at the very least, to watch her. You need to be prepared that there may not be much conversation that takes place to get to know her during the game. It's probably gonna be wise to make sure you have a meal planned before or after. Also, be prepared...most FSF's enjoy a beer or two. We are not martini drinkers and we're not into the fruity drinks....give us a cold Coors Light and we're happy.
It doesn't have to be a live sporting event. Sports bars or other venues as such are also great. Again, be prepared for them to yell at the screen, quote random stats, Be prepared for them to not show much interest in conversation until there's a commercial. This is the price you pay for engaging a FSF in a sporting event.
Perhaps something a little different is in order. Not all FSF's are the same on this one. Most of us enjoy adventure, outdoorsy things, and experiencing life as opposed to just sitting at home. Me personally? I could take a walk around 16th Street Mall and some Mellow Mushroom pizza and beer any day of the week. I could take a hike or a walk through a museum. The point is that you can entertain a FSF however as long as you're prepared for random off-topic sports conversation if the topic comes up. We're on 24/7 and it's an unfortunate side effect....which is not always fun or acceptable.
The Best Things You Can Do for Her The very best things you can do for a FSF is to let her be herself. Let her truly enjoy what she loves and encourage it. If you're not ready for that, don't even pursue her to begin with. Fix her some fried food and let her watch football during football season. Take her out on a date to watch a game. Buy her a jersey just because. Treat her life a queen because as masculine as their interest is, their heart is still a woman.
The Worst Things to Do Don't even bother trying to get with her if you can't handle her. She's bound to be strong-willed and opinionated. If you can't handle it, don't even bother trying to get her. Do NOT act embarrassed by her because FSF's have a tendency to be strong and independent and she WILL kick you to the curb. Do NOT ignore her because she's got other interests and you'll soon become a thing of the past.
In short, it's a rare man that can handle a hard-core FSF and, for most, it's better to not approach them head on if you can't handle it. If you CAN handle it, remember that she's still a woman underneath that tough exterior and once you get her, continue to woo her and you'll never lose her :)
The Playoffs As It Stands
I've been slacking on updating on my opinions on the playoffs because of personal issues in my life. Here's the tall and short of it:
My bracket was ruined when the Avs lost to the Wild. The Wild do not stand a chance against the Blackhawks...period. The Avs slogan was "Why Not Us?" The answer? Sports karma, unfortunately. The Avs are my runner up team and I support them any time they are not playing my own team. With that being said, they loathe my team and the Avs fans were ha-ha-ha-ing loudly over the Redwings being out in the first round....and then they went out in the first round too. No, seriously, I believe it's because they thought they were a shoe in. They underestimated their enemy and their enemy played hard and played til the finish. The Avs had the opportunity to maintain tremendous leads multiple times throughout the series an blew it. "Why Not Us"...it will happen. Maybe next year....if you manage to get past my Wings ;)
So Chicago leads Minnesota 2-0. This is not a big shocker. I loathe Chicago but they are an incredible team and a definitely contender for the cup. Like I said, the Wild don't stand a chance. Crawford alone will keep them from standing a chance. If you can't get anything in, you can't win a game.
Kings vs Ducks, again, not a big shocker in my eyes. A 2-0 lead is exactly what I would have predicted at this point. Again, hate the Kings but they are a great team this year. The Ducks play hard and there's always a chance for a come from behind win but the likelihood is small.
Boston and Montreal tied 1-1...hmmmm I am of two minds here. In the end, I think Boston will pull it off, but it won't be without a battle. While I think Boston WILL pull it off, I WANT Montreal to. I'd like to see Boston knocked down a peg or two in their cockiness.
And finally...
The Pittsburgh vs Rangers series. All I'm gonna say here is don't rule the Rangers out. They have pulled off a come-from-behind more than once. While I think Pittsburgh may end up eeking it out, this is the series I'm most uncertain on. The Rangers want it BAD!
With all of that being said, who needs a day to some play off games. I'm loud and obnoxious but I'll root for your team! Hahahaha! Can't wait to see how this plays out! #becauseit'stheplayoffs
My bracket was ruined when the Avs lost to the Wild. The Wild do not stand a chance against the Blackhawks...period. The Avs slogan was "Why Not Us?" The answer? Sports karma, unfortunately. The Avs are my runner up team and I support them any time they are not playing my own team. With that being said, they loathe my team and the Avs fans were ha-ha-ha-ing loudly over the Redwings being out in the first round....and then they went out in the first round too. No, seriously, I believe it's because they thought they were a shoe in. They underestimated their enemy and their enemy played hard and played til the finish. The Avs had the opportunity to maintain tremendous leads multiple times throughout the series an blew it. "Why Not Us"...it will happen. Maybe next year....if you manage to get past my Wings ;)
So Chicago leads Minnesota 2-0. This is not a big shocker. I loathe Chicago but they are an incredible team and a definitely contender for the cup. Like I said, the Wild don't stand a chance. Crawford alone will keep them from standing a chance. If you can't get anything in, you can't win a game.
Kings vs Ducks, again, not a big shocker in my eyes. A 2-0 lead is exactly what I would have predicted at this point. Again, hate the Kings but they are a great team this year. The Ducks play hard and there's always a chance for a come from behind win but the likelihood is small.
Boston and Montreal tied 1-1...hmmmm I am of two minds here. In the end, I think Boston will pull it off, but it won't be without a battle. While I think Boston WILL pull it off, I WANT Montreal to. I'd like to see Boston knocked down a peg or two in their cockiness.
And finally...
The Pittsburgh vs Rangers series. All I'm gonna say here is don't rule the Rangers out. They have pulled off a come-from-behind more than once. While I think Pittsburgh may end up eeking it out, this is the series I'm most uncertain on. The Rangers want it BAD!
With all of that being said, who needs a day to some play off games. I'm loud and obnoxious but I'll root for your team! Hahahaha! Can't wait to see how this plays out! #becauseit'stheplayoffs
Monday, May 5, 2014
Serenity and a Hodge Podge of other stuff
Serenity. It's a funny thing. It's defined as "the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled" In fact, there's even a prayer called the Serenity prayer...."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can and wisdom to know the difference." We're told to say that prayer when we're feeling stressed or upset. We're told that it'll help us feel serenity. To some, maybe it does. To me, in moments of stress, it helps me in a different way. It helps me to accept the inevitable. It helps me to get past my optimism for a few minutes and realize that there is not always a silver lining.
In other news....
I am TOASTY SUNBURNT. Yes, I decided to suntan to enjoy the beautiful weather yesterday. I was careful to apply sunscreen and THEN tanning oil. Unfortunately, I missed some sensitive areas including underestimating the size of my badonkadonk and the bottom part of my butt is BURNT!!! I did the vinegar thing to take the sting out because I'd rather smell like a jar of Claussen pickles and be comfortable than hurt like hell for the sake of smelling nice. Thankfully the sunburn is VERY spotty (I'm thinking some of the spots just sweated off...like the backs of my knees) and I'm hoping if I moisturize it enough, I can avoid incredibly terrible peeling. That remains to be seen though.
My little man is doing better. He's not healed up completely but he's improving his condition some. His lip swelling has gone down so he can eat a bit better. His wrist is still sore but not bad. He's doing quite a bit better. Dentist comes tomorrow so we can find out the verdict on the teeth.
and....
I'm craving Dunkin Donuts coffee. I think I'd rip off someone's arms and beat them with them to get a coconut coffee with cream and sugar. Add an everything bagel with veggie cream cheese and I'd be yours forever. LOL
Have a Happy Monday!
In other news....
I am TOASTY SUNBURNT. Yes, I decided to suntan to enjoy the beautiful weather yesterday. I was careful to apply sunscreen and THEN tanning oil. Unfortunately, I missed some sensitive areas including underestimating the size of my badonkadonk and the bottom part of my butt is BURNT!!! I did the vinegar thing to take the sting out because I'd rather smell like a jar of Claussen pickles and be comfortable than hurt like hell for the sake of smelling nice. Thankfully the sunburn is VERY spotty (I'm thinking some of the spots just sweated off...like the backs of my knees) and I'm hoping if I moisturize it enough, I can avoid incredibly terrible peeling. That remains to be seen though.
My little man is doing better. He's not healed up completely but he's improving his condition some. His lip swelling has gone down so he can eat a bit better. His wrist is still sore but not bad. He's doing quite a bit better. Dentist comes tomorrow so we can find out the verdict on the teeth.
and....
I'm craving Dunkin Donuts coffee. I think I'd rip off someone's arms and beat them with them to get a coconut coffee with cream and sugar. Add an everything bagel with veggie cream cheese and I'd be yours forever. LOL
Have a Happy Monday!
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Second Chances
Once in awhile, there is an opportunity for a second chance...or a third chance....or even a first chance where you were too afraid to take it before. Regardless of circumstance or numerical stance, there is an opportunity to make things right. Maybe it's standing up for someone where you didn't before. Maybe it's choosing to forgive and forget. Maybe it's focusing your attention on the things that are important and not on anything or anyone else. What's important is that there is that chance. Both sides have to work when this occurs so here is my advice....
If you say that you're forgiving, TRULY forgive Don't patronize someone by saying that you'll forgive them and then turn around and throw things in their face. Forgiveness is about letting go of the hurt that you're feeling and releasing it into the universe. God sees your efforts and He will reward that in the future. Forgiveness is not just a word, it is a choice...an active decision you must make.
If you're asking for forgiveness, be prepared to make the necessary changes. Don't assume that you can just slide back into the same place and continue your behavior. You need to look at what you're doing wrong and focus on how to change it. You need to focus on how you're going to improve the situation. It's not the other person's responsibility. It's yours.
Don't ask what you can do to improve things if you aren't willing to hear the answer People in these situations are usually stressed and the more time they have to stew things over, the more clear their answer will be. If you don't honestly want to know what you can do to fix the situation, DON'T ask. You will just aggravate things. It's better to not know if someone will change or not than to have them ask and say, "Nah, I'm not interested."
Remember that PEOPLE don't change, HABITS do You can't change who you are and no one can change who they are at their core. What you CAN change is your habits. You can make a conscious choice to not do certain things. It's not going to be easy...that's why they're called HABITS. The fact is that if someone or something is worth it, you'll make it happen.
Make every day about the positive Instead of focusing on what you have to change or what you expect someone to change, focus on the positive. Start each day with the mantra that you'll do whatever it takes. Focus your time and energy on that mantra, repeating it as often as necessary to help you through the day. Soon, it will become a part of you and you'll no longer need to focus your attention on reminding yourself.
and finally.....
Practice empathy On EITHER side of this situation, this is important. If someone is trying to change a habit to accommodate you, it is your responsibility to practice patience and encouragement. If you are trying to change a habit, it is your responsibility to understand that the other person will always have it in the back of their mind that you MIGHT fail but that THEY are trying to be there for you.
People CAN change their habits and there is always room for another chance but it is hard work and for some, it's not worth the time or effort. Make the choice and go for it...whatever it is.
If you say that you're forgiving, TRULY forgive Don't patronize someone by saying that you'll forgive them and then turn around and throw things in their face. Forgiveness is about letting go of the hurt that you're feeling and releasing it into the universe. God sees your efforts and He will reward that in the future. Forgiveness is not just a word, it is a choice...an active decision you must make.
If you're asking for forgiveness, be prepared to make the necessary changes. Don't assume that you can just slide back into the same place and continue your behavior. You need to look at what you're doing wrong and focus on how to change it. You need to focus on how you're going to improve the situation. It's not the other person's responsibility. It's yours.
Don't ask what you can do to improve things if you aren't willing to hear the answer People in these situations are usually stressed and the more time they have to stew things over, the more clear their answer will be. If you don't honestly want to know what you can do to fix the situation, DON'T ask. You will just aggravate things. It's better to not know if someone will change or not than to have them ask and say, "Nah, I'm not interested."
Remember that PEOPLE don't change, HABITS do You can't change who you are and no one can change who they are at their core. What you CAN change is your habits. You can make a conscious choice to not do certain things. It's not going to be easy...that's why they're called HABITS. The fact is that if someone or something is worth it, you'll make it happen.
Make every day about the positive Instead of focusing on what you have to change or what you expect someone to change, focus on the positive. Start each day with the mantra that you'll do whatever it takes. Focus your time and energy on that mantra, repeating it as often as necessary to help you through the day. Soon, it will become a part of you and you'll no longer need to focus your attention on reminding yourself.
and finally.....
Practice empathy On EITHER side of this situation, this is important. If someone is trying to change a habit to accommodate you, it is your responsibility to practice patience and encouragement. If you are trying to change a habit, it is your responsibility to understand that the other person will always have it in the back of their mind that you MIGHT fail but that THEY are trying to be there for you.
People CAN change their habits and there is always room for another chance but it is hard work and for some, it's not worth the time or effort. Make the choice and go for it...whatever it is.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Open Letter to Judgmental Doctors
I want to preface this post by saying that I am NOT against the medical profession. I think that the medical field has an amazing ability to provide preventative care, care for in emergency and a million other wonderful things. I also believe that not all medical professionals are created equal. Not all doctors are the same, act the same, and so on. I am incredibly thankful for doctors, nurses, etc
With all of that being said, I have a real problem with a select group of doctors. It's not specific to specialty but more to behavior and bedside manner. While I COMPLETELY understand that doctors go through a decade or more of schooling and see an incredible amount of terrible things, I am speaking to the doctors who talk down to people. I am speaking of the doctors that act like you're an idiot. This is my open letter to THOSE doctors.....
Dear Doctor,
First of all, let me say that I appreciate you. You went through years of schooling to do a very noble job. I know you work incredibly long hours and you see so much good and bad. I know that you have a very trying job physically and emotionally and that you often take your work home with you emotionally. I appreciate everything that you do, so thank you.
With all of that being said, let me tell you this....I am a mother. I may not have gone through schooling for it because their lives are my schooling. My job is very trying physically and emotionally as well and I don't go home at the end of my night and get a break. It is 24/7/365...and I would not change it for the world. My children are my life.
I want you to remember that the next time that you speak down to me. Before you start to judge me, remember that I know my child better than anyone. Remember that all of your "studies" change their minds about what is safe or best for children and adults. What's considered best today is considered deadly tomorrow. Evidence? Sleeping habits for babies....tummies, no backs, no sides, no backs...crib bumpers are best, no crib bumpers at all....blankets, sleep sacks....everything changes.
I am not an idiot. Not only have I gone through courses in medical training myself but I also have a degree that took countless medical terminology classes. Just because I choose not to use my degree does not mean that I am somehow less educated in what you are speaking of. The fact is that it shouldn't matter if I do or not. You don't have to speak to me like an idiot.
On top of that, I don't need your judgments on how I parent. No I do not choose to do unnecessary vaccinations. No I do not choose to think that I need to bathe them in Purel. I do believe that their bodies should be allowed to fight things off on their own. My choices as a parent don't make me anything but a parent who makes those choices. I'm not better or worse...I'm a parent and those are my choices. I have amazing, thriving children and I am making good choices for MY children.
Accidents happen. There are kids every day that fall off bikes or fall out of trees or fall down a set of stairs or hit their heads wrestling or a million other things. I can't wrap my children in bubble wrap. Accidents terrify me, too but that's why they're called what they're called...it's an accident. Please don't make me feel like an accident that happens with a kid just being a kid is some sort of a terrible parenting choice. It'd be different if I was letting my child ride in the back of a truck on a highway instead of sitting in a seat belt. Kids ride bikes and fall. Kids climb trees and get cuts or bruises or break arms. Kids ride escalators and get fingers caught. Things happen. People need to stop judging.
So while you are doing your job, please remember that we parents are doing the best that we can. If you come into a room and see a very well-adjusted, polite, happy child who got injured in the course of being a kid, rejoice in the fact that their parents are encouraging them to play outside. Rejoice in the fact that they're being active. Rejoice in the fact that their parents are doing a great job. There are children who are not so lucky. Instead of treating the parents as if they're jerks when they are already worried about their child, try to exercise some compassion and realize that these ARE NOT the children that you need to be worrying about judging. These are NOT the parents that you need to lecture. Lecture the parents that are abusing or neglecting their children.
With all of this being said, thank you for taking care of my child. I thank you not for your bedside manner but because you did your job. I just hope that, in the future, you think before you speak. Some parents are not as confident as I am in their abilities and you can cause some serious emotional trauma to a parent who is already worried.
Sincerely,
Me
With all of that being said, I have a real problem with a select group of doctors. It's not specific to specialty but more to behavior and bedside manner. While I COMPLETELY understand that doctors go through a decade or more of schooling and see an incredible amount of terrible things, I am speaking to the doctors who talk down to people. I am speaking of the doctors that act like you're an idiot. This is my open letter to THOSE doctors.....
Dear Doctor,
First of all, let me say that I appreciate you. You went through years of schooling to do a very noble job. I know you work incredibly long hours and you see so much good and bad. I know that you have a very trying job physically and emotionally and that you often take your work home with you emotionally. I appreciate everything that you do, so thank you.
With all of that being said, let me tell you this....I am a mother. I may not have gone through schooling for it because their lives are my schooling. My job is very trying physically and emotionally as well and I don't go home at the end of my night and get a break. It is 24/7/365...and I would not change it for the world. My children are my life.
I want you to remember that the next time that you speak down to me. Before you start to judge me, remember that I know my child better than anyone. Remember that all of your "studies" change their minds about what is safe or best for children and adults. What's considered best today is considered deadly tomorrow. Evidence? Sleeping habits for babies....tummies, no backs, no sides, no backs...crib bumpers are best, no crib bumpers at all....blankets, sleep sacks....everything changes.
I am not an idiot. Not only have I gone through courses in medical training myself but I also have a degree that took countless medical terminology classes. Just because I choose not to use my degree does not mean that I am somehow less educated in what you are speaking of. The fact is that it shouldn't matter if I do or not. You don't have to speak to me like an idiot.
On top of that, I don't need your judgments on how I parent. No I do not choose to do unnecessary vaccinations. No I do not choose to think that I need to bathe them in Purel. I do believe that their bodies should be allowed to fight things off on their own. My choices as a parent don't make me anything but a parent who makes those choices. I'm not better or worse...I'm a parent and those are my choices. I have amazing, thriving children and I am making good choices for MY children.
Accidents happen. There are kids every day that fall off bikes or fall out of trees or fall down a set of stairs or hit their heads wrestling or a million other things. I can't wrap my children in bubble wrap. Accidents terrify me, too but that's why they're called what they're called...it's an accident. Please don't make me feel like an accident that happens with a kid just being a kid is some sort of a terrible parenting choice. It'd be different if I was letting my child ride in the back of a truck on a highway instead of sitting in a seat belt. Kids ride bikes and fall. Kids climb trees and get cuts or bruises or break arms. Kids ride escalators and get fingers caught. Things happen. People need to stop judging.
So while you are doing your job, please remember that we parents are doing the best that we can. If you come into a room and see a very well-adjusted, polite, happy child who got injured in the course of being a kid, rejoice in the fact that their parents are encouraging them to play outside. Rejoice in the fact that they're being active. Rejoice in the fact that their parents are doing a great job. There are children who are not so lucky. Instead of treating the parents as if they're jerks when they are already worried about their child, try to exercise some compassion and realize that these ARE NOT the children that you need to be worrying about judging. These are NOT the parents that you need to lecture. Lecture the parents that are abusing or neglecting their children.
With all of this being said, thank you for taking care of my child. I thank you not for your bedside manner but because you did your job. I just hope that, in the future, you think before you speak. Some parents are not as confident as I am in their abilities and you can cause some serious emotional trauma to a parent who is already worried.
Sincerely,
Me
Friday Explanation
Having missed a post yesterday, I want to apologize. After work, I had to take one of my children to the emergency room after he face planted off his bike. He's okay. He's got some relatively minor injuries and a sprain but he's fine.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
7 Things to Make Your Relationship Last
There are seven things that I believe are totally necessary in a relationship to make them work. After several failed relationships, I am compiling a list that I can refer back to down the line. It's essentially what both parties need and deserve, in my humble opinion. (This is written from a woman's perspective but applies to both)
1. Honesty/Trust There is nothing more important than honesty, in my opinion, because honesty equals trust. Trust is required for any relationship from friendship to family and so on. If you can't trust someone, your relationship goes nowhere. Now I'm not proposing that if her meal is not the best thing you've ever tasted, you go for the jugular. What I AM saying is that there is a very clear line between a little white lie to protect her feelings and a big lie to protect your ass because you're acting a fool.
2. Encouragement Encouraging each other creates an intense feeling of happiness and love in your hearts. You'll BOTH benefit from encouragement because she will feel better about herself and therefore encourage you. And vice versa.
3. Time together Expecting a relationship to blossom when you won't spend the time to cultivate it is nonsense. You can't expect something to bloom from nothing. You have to spend the time together. And YES that means she does things she doesn't like for him and he does things he doesn't like for her.
4. Time apart (aka with friends, to yourself) It's all about balance. You still need time to yourself but you need to know that when you come home, you can come home to the love of your life. With that being said, you need to be responsible when you're out. That means don't do something that you know she wouldn't approve of or that would hurt her.
5. Commitment to only have eyes for her I'm not suggesting that you can't ever admire a pretty girl. That IS to say that you make the commitment to tell her that she's the only one that makes you tick. That IS to say that you commit to not looking at porn (which gives you an unrealistic idea of what women are like). That IS to say that you commit to not gawk in public or talk about how someone is prettier.
6. Physical Touch Hold her hand. Give her a kiss. Behave like you're courting her no matter how long you've been together.
7. Never Stop Courting Her and Falling In Love with Her Falling in love is called that because that's what it is...falling. It stops eventually. You need to make it your priority to keep courting her. Keep finding out who she is and what is going on in her life. You need to make it a priority to let her know that she is loved all the time. It's a guarantee that if you BOTH commit to this, all the rest falls into place.
You'll not that I didn't put love on here. That's obvious. Love is a decision though. These are choices you can make to make your relationship work.
1. Honesty/Trust There is nothing more important than honesty, in my opinion, because honesty equals trust. Trust is required for any relationship from friendship to family and so on. If you can't trust someone, your relationship goes nowhere. Now I'm not proposing that if her meal is not the best thing you've ever tasted, you go for the jugular. What I AM saying is that there is a very clear line between a little white lie to protect her feelings and a big lie to protect your ass because you're acting a fool.
2. Encouragement Encouraging each other creates an intense feeling of happiness and love in your hearts. You'll BOTH benefit from encouragement because she will feel better about herself and therefore encourage you. And vice versa.
3. Time together Expecting a relationship to blossom when you won't spend the time to cultivate it is nonsense. You can't expect something to bloom from nothing. You have to spend the time together. And YES that means she does things she doesn't like for him and he does things he doesn't like for her.
4. Time apart (aka with friends, to yourself) It's all about balance. You still need time to yourself but you need to know that when you come home, you can come home to the love of your life. With that being said, you need to be responsible when you're out. That means don't do something that you know she wouldn't approve of or that would hurt her.
5. Commitment to only have eyes for her I'm not suggesting that you can't ever admire a pretty girl. That IS to say that you make the commitment to tell her that she's the only one that makes you tick. That IS to say that you commit to not looking at porn (which gives you an unrealistic idea of what women are like). That IS to say that you commit to not gawk in public or talk about how someone is prettier.
6. Physical Touch Hold her hand. Give her a kiss. Behave like you're courting her no matter how long you've been together.
7. Never Stop Courting Her and Falling In Love with Her Falling in love is called that because that's what it is...falling. It stops eventually. You need to make it your priority to keep courting her. Keep finding out who she is and what is going on in her life. You need to make it a priority to let her know that she is loved all the time. It's a guarantee that if you BOTH commit to this, all the rest falls into place.
You'll not that I didn't put love on here. That's obvious. Love is a decision though. These are choices you can make to make your relationship work.
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