Saturday, May 3, 2014

Open Letter to Judgmental Doctors

I want to preface this post by saying that I am NOT against the medical profession.  I think that the medical field has an amazing ability to provide preventative care, care for in emergency and a million other wonderful things.  I also believe that not all medical professionals are created equal.  Not all doctors are the same, act the same, and so on.  I am incredibly thankful for doctors, nurses, etc

With all of that being said, I have a real problem with a select group of doctors.  It's not specific to specialty but more to behavior and bedside manner.  While I COMPLETELY understand that doctors go through a decade or more of schooling and see an incredible amount of terrible things, I am speaking to the doctors who talk down to people.  I am speaking of the doctors that act like you're an idiot.  This is my open letter to THOSE doctors.....

Dear Doctor,

First of all, let me say that I appreciate you.  You went through years of schooling to do a very noble job.  I know you work incredibly long hours and you see so much good and bad.  I know that you have a very trying job physically and emotionally and that you often take your work home with you emotionally.  I appreciate everything that you do, so thank you.

With all of that being said, let me tell you this....I am a mother.  I may not have gone through schooling for it because their lives are my schooling.  My job is very trying physically and emotionally as well and I don't go home at the end of my night and get a break.  It is 24/7/365...and I would not change it for the world.  My children are my life.

I want you to remember that the next time that you speak down to me.  Before you start to judge me, remember that I know my child better than anyone.  Remember that all of your "studies" change their minds about what is safe or best for children and adults.  What's considered best today is considered deadly tomorrow.  Evidence?  Sleeping habits for babies....tummies, no backs, no sides, no backs...crib bumpers are best, no crib bumpers at all....blankets, sleep sacks....everything changes.

I am not an idiot.  Not only have I gone through courses in medical training myself but I also have a degree that took countless medical terminology classes.  Just because I choose not to use my degree does not mean that I am somehow less educated in what you are speaking of.  The fact is that it shouldn't matter if I do or not.  You don't have to speak to me like an idiot.

On top of that, I don't need your judgments on how I parent.  No I do not choose to do unnecessary vaccinations.  No I do not choose to think that I need to bathe them in Purel.  I do believe that their bodies should be allowed to fight things off on their own.  My choices as a parent don't make me anything but a parent who makes those choices.  I'm not better or worse...I'm a parent and those are my choices.  I have amazing, thriving children and I am making good choices for MY children.

Accidents happen.  There are kids every day that fall off bikes or fall out of trees or fall down a set of stairs or hit their heads wrestling or a million other things.   I can't wrap my children in bubble wrap.  Accidents terrify me, too but that's why they're called what they're called...it's an accident.  Please don't make me feel like an accident that happens with a kid just being a kid is some sort of a terrible parenting choice.  It'd be different if I was letting my child ride in the back of a truck on a highway instead of sitting in a seat belt.  Kids ride bikes and fall.  Kids climb trees and get cuts or bruises or break arms.  Kids ride escalators and get fingers caught.  Things happen.  People need to stop judging.

So while you are doing your job, please remember that we parents are doing the best that we can.  If you come into a room and see a very well-adjusted, polite, happy child who got injured in the course of  being a kid, rejoice in the fact that their parents are encouraging them to play outside.  Rejoice in the fact that they're being active.  Rejoice in the fact that their parents are doing a great job.  There are children who are not so lucky.  Instead of treating the parents as if they're jerks when they are already worried about their child, try to exercise some compassion and realize that these ARE NOT the children that you need to be worrying about judging.  These are NOT the parents that you need to lecture.  Lecture the parents that are abusing or neglecting their children.

With all of this being said, thank you for taking care of my child.  I thank you not for your bedside manner but because you did your job.  I just hope that, in the future, you think before you speak.  Some parents are not as confident as I am in their abilities and you can cause some serious emotional trauma to a parent who is already worried.

Sincerely,
Me

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