The Target Bathroom Policy

The controversy surrounding the "transgender bathroom policy"  at Target is growing daily.  Those on the opposing side are signing a petition to boycott Target.  Those on the supporting side are cheering and actually shopping at Target MORE!  I've kept mum for awhile, just trying to gather my thoughts on the topic.  I wanted to listen to all sides of the argument and see where my opinion fell after the fact.  So here goes......

First of all, the argument for the opposing side is namely based on the idea that "a man could pretend to be transgender just to get in the bathroom and assault your wife or child."  In other words, the concern is not about transgender people (as a whole) but with child predators and the like.  Here's a little nugget of information to think on.... what makes you think that predators would even bother to "pretend" to be transgender?  Predators have been sneaking into bathrooms for decades.  They don't need a policy to do it.  You should ALWAYS be concerned about your safety and your family's safety (boys too) in public restrooms.  That said, a policy that allows transgender people to use the bathroom of their choice will make absolutely no difference in whether or not predators are coming in to assault your family.  The bigger risk, unfortunately, is that the transgender individuals will be assaulted themselves.  Statistically they are assaulted in alarming numbers and it's just not okay.  A piece of paper or a sign or a policy has nothing to do with whether or not a predator will come into the bathroom; it's like saying that a "no gun zone" sign will keep a gunman out.

A second argument is that "a man could come into the bathroom with your wife or child and flash their junk at them."  This partially goes back to my last point but partially goes to another: why do you think this is limited to bathrooms?  If your concern is that your daughter might see a penis in a Target bathroom, you are ignoring the fact that this can happen almost anywhere.  Men (or women) that are going to flash you their "junk" are going to do it wherever they choose.  You're worried about the bathroom in Target; meanwhile, this guy does it in the produce section at the supermarket.  Again, I present the argument that you are confusing transgender people with mentally disturbed flashers.  You have likely used the bathroom with a transgender person more often than you know....guess what, you were not affected in any way.

"Well it's simple.  If you have a penis, use the men's bathroom.  If you have a vagina, use the women's bathroom."  Look, you can agree or disagree with whether or not you're born transgender (the same way you can argue whether or not you're born homosexual).  The argument has nothing to do with the point on this.  The fact is that transgender people often feel as if they were born in the wrong body.  This argument is hard to debate but I will say that it's definitely not "simple."

"Well they're just being politically correct."  No one cringes more at politically correct hoopla than I do but this is not about being politically correct; it's about being compassionate.  It's about recognizing a "group" (for lack of better word) of people who just want to be able to do a simple human function (like urinate) where they feel comfortable.  99% of transgender people are not going to draw attention to themselves walking into a bathroom anywhere.  They just want to poop in peace.  It's as simple as that.

"Well I don't want some dude watching me pee."  Well then close the stall door.  A WHOOOOOLE lot of the people arguing this point have probably never even USED the bathroom in Target.  Some "dude" is in the bathroom for the same reason you are and, guess what, they're going to close and lock the stall door and do the same thing you're doing: pee.  The idea that transgender people will use this policy as some sort of excuse to be a sneaky perv is absolutely ridiculous and demoralizing (but I'll get to that in a second).  Do YOU go into bathrooms and peer over the stalls or peek through the cracks?  Nope.  You're a normal person that looks under the stall enough to see if there's feet there and then waits for your turn.  You close the stall door, lock it, pee, wash your hands (hopefully) and move on.  Come on now.

I guess I want to close this by saying that this whole thing seems like it's very demoralizing to transgender people.  You can argue the logistics of transgenderism all you want and agree to disagree with people but this debate over this policy is really hurtful on one side.  I heard it said that "it wasn't about water fountains during segregation and it's not about bathrooms now" and it was summed up so perfectly.  Before you start throwing hateful terminology around and grouping transgender individuals in with perverts, think about what you're saying and how small-minded and ridiculous you sound.  To all the transgender people out there having to listen to this debate and hear the hateful things being spewed from people's mouths, I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this.  Know that there are a whole lot of us that are more educated on transgender/transsexual folks that are fighting to break down the walls of ignorance.

If you AREN'T educated on the topic, here is a good starting point....

Source:
http://www.medicaldaily.com/what-difference-between-transsexual-and-transgender-facebooks-new-version-its-complicated-271389

Common Consideration and Courtesy

The Disney version of "Bambi" has a line that sums up how people in this world should live their lives: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."  (Ignore the double negative for the sake of quoting accurately).  Common consideration and courtesy seem to have been thrown out the window for a large group of people in our country.  This mama has some opinions on the topic:

First of all, in the vast majority of cases NO ONE ASKED YOU.  If someone asks you for your honest opinion, by all means, share.  If they don't ask, keep your mouth shut unless it is harming you or someone else (and don't be the sarcastic jackass that says that someone's loud shirt is hurting your eyes.) I don't know if you know this or not but we are on a planet that is part of a solar system that ALL revolve  around one source....that source is NOT you! Your opinions on Sally Sue's church dress may be important to your friends but Sally Sue does not need to hear negativity.  At what point did the people in our society become so full of themselves that they don't realize that not everyone wants to hear them spew their destructive filth into the world?

Secondly, if you're not being productive with your speech, shut your mouth.  What I mean by this is that if you're going to use your words to tell someone how they're ugly, too fat or too thin, have a big nose, can't sing (etc) then you are not using your words for productive purpose.  If you're asked to judge a beauty pageant, you can voice your opinions on someone's appearance.  Otherwise, shut it! You can think it all you want but no one wants or needs to hear it.  We wonder why there is a generation of bullies and self conscious people.  When our society seems to encourage kids and adults alike to be critical, we are feeding into it daily.

Thirdly, if your argument on a topic is to correct someone's grammar, you have no argument.  Realistically speaking, debate is healthy when both parties are handling it with respect and dignity.  When you start attacking someone's character, you're out of arguments.  When you start criticizing their grammar, you're past that.

My next point would be that tact is still a "thing" in the 21st century.  I'm not suggesting that you blow sunshine up people's butts but let's be realistic: there is a time and a place to say something if you absolutely MUST say something critical.  There is a way to say something that might make someone you love feel mad/sad and it's not to publically berate or belittle them.  Tact is still something that should be practiced.  This isn't necessarily for anyone else's benefit but your own.

Finally, I would say the following: The I-Don't-Care-What-People-Think mentality is poisoning our society.  Now I want to be clear that I am not saying that we should be people pleasers, constantly concerned with whether or not everyone likes us.  What I am saying is that when our society, as a whole, stopped caring about what "everyone" thought, we seem to have lost accountability for any of our actions.  We seem to have forgotten that our nation is supposed to be "ONE NATION UNDER GOD" not a bunch of jackasses yelling at each other under a variety of beliefs and non beliefs.  I, personally, don't believe that the "under God" part of that was about being a certain religion but about being one voice against anyone that would dare to come against our great country.  When we lose accountability and spend all of our time harping at one another, we seem to lose something in the translation.

It's a very fixable problem that we have in our society.  Make an effort to make what comes out of your mouth count.  Make it something that will HELP our nation build stronger and not something that will tear down its citizens.  You can be the start of a trend that will change the world for the better.