Super Mom

With the best of intentions, recently, someone called me "Super Mom."  Flattering? Perhaps, but it also made me cringe.  I absolutely do my best.  I think we all do.  That said, I think that term might be better saved for the mom that adopts hospice babies so they don't have to die alone.  I think that term might apply better to a foster mom to special needs children.  I suppose the term is relative to the user's desires as a parent, but I don't feel like "super mom".  I feel like a mom who works her ass off to just do her best (like every parent does, for the most part) using some of the methods I was raised on wound in with a few of my own.

As a working mom, my life is literally non stop (and no, I'm not saying that SAHMs have it easy or anything of the sort).  Almost everything requires the forethought that you think you stop having to use after your kids are potty trained.  My days are carefully planned (with some flex space as needed) and I have calendars by the hand full to try to make sure I don't forget things.  Here are some things that some working moms might  not tell you....

We look like we have it together but it all depends on the day.  For moms like me, that insist on their kids eating a hot breakfast as often as possible and a nutritious dinner, every day is an exercise in planning.  Some days I succeed and others, not as much.  We may look like we run as a well-oiled machine and, some days, that might be true.  Most days, though, we are just as rushed and hustled as stay at home moms.  Our minds have a million cogs going at once and it's sometimes hard to focus on what your child is reading to you for homework as you're concentrating on cooking dinner. 

We're secretly jealous of moms who can make it to all the activities at school.  We truly are.  We want to be at those classroom parties or chaperoning on field trips but we can't always make it.  We're secretly a little jealous but, more than that, we are thankful to the moms that are always there.  You make the difference in our classrooms.

...but we also kinda wanna punch the Pinterest mom for making us look bad.  You know the one.  She's the one who brings in the cupcakes with intricately detailed holiday decorations on the top for every classroom party.  Are the treats amazing?  Of course they are.  Do we appreciate them?  You bet!  But we also kinda want to punch her in the ear for making our bag of Doritos look like we're slackers.  (Side note:  Even if some of us WERE home more often, those intricate designs wouldn't be on our radar.  You truly are talented, Pinterest moms).

We don't socialize as much as you think.  Let me ask you something, stay at home moms...do you consider a trip to the grocery store "socialization?"  You don't.  Well, guess what...our jobs are, often, not much more social.  Interaction with clients/customers doesn't allow us to talk socially any more than you would talk paying for gas or making a trip to the library with your little one.  In fact, I socialize significantly less as a working parent than I ever did as a stay at home mom.  Our focus is work and then the kids.  It doesn't leave much time for adult socialization.

We also aren't all swimming in cash.  By the time most working parents finish paying for child care or after school activities so kids can stay busy until they can pick them up, there is not much more cash than stay at home moms have.  Why do we work then?  Because sometimes that extra is enough to allow us to pay bills or put our kids into activities that we couldn't otherwise afford.

Some of us wish we COULD stay home with the kids.  This doesn't apply to all working moms.  In fact, there are a lot that say that they would go nuts if they were at home with their kids all the time.  For the rest of us, we DO wish we could be stay at home parents.  We wish we could be the moms that are always volunteering and doing great things in the classroom.

and finally....

It's all make up.  So we drop the kids off with "perfect hair" and dressed nice while you're in yoga pants.  You think we're well rested.  We're not.  Believe me.  Some of us have been up since 4:45 so we could shower, wake kids up at appropriate times to shower, prep dinner and put it in the fridge so it's quick and easy when we get home, get the kids a hot breakfast, braid hair, check backpacks one more time, drive them to school.  It's no less hectic at night either.  Trust me, it's all makeup.  We have the same dark undereye circles and adult acne from stress.

I think we're all just doing the best we can with the circumstances we have.  If someone waved a magic wand tomorrow and allowed me to stay home but still take care of my family, of course I'd take it.  Then I'd have a whole different set of details to contend with.  For now, though, I'll adjust my Super Mom crown (for the day) and know that there's a little bit of Super Mom in all of us.