Tuesday, April 1, 2014

15 Things for Mothers to Do with Their Daughters

1.  Teach them to be happy being alone.  I don't mean this in a depressing boo-hoo way.  I mean teaching a girl independence can go miles when she is picking friends in this age of "mean girls", not to mention when she's picking a boyfriend/girlfriend.  If they learn to be happy within themselves, they will never have to worry about being in bad company.

2.  Teach them how to throw a ball.... Yes, I know, I said this for the boys too but this is, in my opinion, for a different reason.  Teach them how to throw a ball, change the oil in the car and do other "boy things" so that they can learn independence and not feel like they need to be a skinny princess diva like the idiot celebrity girls that haunt the news with their craziness.

3.  Exhibit positive and respectful behavior.  Yes, I'm sorry ladies but this is a necessary evil.  There are far too many bitchy women in this world.  There are far too many women that not only pride themselves on trying to control men but they also seem to thrive on it.  Show them how to treat people respectfully and they will demand the same for their own lives.

4.  Let them be girly... If a girl so chooses, let her be girly.  Let her be a tomboy.  Let her be a little nerd or let her be a little athlete.  Whatever it is that she wants to do, let her do it and let her do it with her whole heart.  Don't poo poo her for too much pink but don't drown her in princess just because she liked Cinderella when he was two.

5.  Show her diversity at a young age...and keep showing her.  Show her that people can be big and healthy or very thin and healthy.  People can have two legs or one leg or no legs.  People can have curly hair, straight hair, short hair, long hair or no hair at all.  People come in all shapes, sizes and colors and the less that girls learn to put a label on differences, the less likely they are to feel like they need to change to fit in.

6.  Play! Girls are always taught to be quiet and still but they need to play and exert their energy too.  Play...get dirty.  Teach them to take in textures, smells, sounds...everything around them.

7.  Teach her how to fight.  I know this is a morbid thought but life happens sometimes and she needs to learn how to defend herself.  Teach her how to fight and protect her body at all costs.  It might save her life someday.

8.  ...Explain that kicking boys in the groin is NOT funny  This one doesn't seem as obvious but I know a whole lot of little girls that think that kicking boys in the junk is a funny way to "scold" them physically.  It is not an acceptable form of humor...that is something you should only do if you are in danger of being violated.

9.  Help them understand how important and sacred their body truly is.  Sounds cheesy,right?  It's not just a religious thing.  It's a matter of teaching girls how sacred their body is and how important it is to keep it to themselves instead of flaunting it like the...well let's just say like celebrities who shall remain nameless.

10.  Teach them to act like ladies.  Love it or hate it, it's a matter of right and wrong.  There is a time and a place to act silly.  There is also a time and place to cross your ankles, say yes ma'am or sir, and use your manners.  This new masculizination of girls borders on ludicrous.  You can be independent and still be a lady.

11.  Don't just read them fairy tales....but read them SOME fairy tales.  I'm not on both sides of the fence here.  Fairy tales allow little girls to dream.  It's not about putting them in a feminine box.  It's about teaching them to dream.  Don't JUST read her fairy tales and princess stories though.  Read to her about Helen Keller or Mary Lou Retton or Clara Barton.  Read to her about heroes and women that studied and succeeded.  Read her stories about dump trucks and aliens.  Let HER choose but give her variety.

12.  Stop treating her like a stereotype.  Girls don't ALWAYS read better or suck at math.  They also don't ALWAYS potty train earlier or easier.  Girls are....well they're just girls and every single one of them is different.

13.  Prepare her AND you for the fact that there is gonna come a day that she might not "like" you but you'll always love her.  I'm realistic with my girls.  It doesn't matter how sweet the mom is or how docile the daughter, she will be a teenager and she will not like her mom much. It happens.  It's the circle of Life.  Ha ha ha

14.  Hug her.  Hug her and snuggle her because they grow up way too fast.  Those fleeting moments with sweet little Cinderella dancing quickly turns to cheesy smiles in forced family pictures where they're threatened with loss of phone privileges. 

15.  No social media until they are truly trustworthy.  This is NOT a matter of age.  Too many girls are posting naked selfies or sexting.  Unless and until they are worthy of ALL of your trust...no social media.  Period

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