I have seen people posting and reposting an article written recently about how social media ruins marriages. In a lot of ways, I couldn't agree more with this article. Social media can ruin relationships. People use social media as an excuse to be someone that they're not because there is no accountability. They feel like it's suddenly okay to lie, cheat, or do a million other inappropriate things. They feel like they can do whatever because they are safe behind their computer/phone and no one will find out. It seems that integrity goes out the door.
With all of that being said, I believe there are five real things that you can do to enhance your relationship even WITH the presence of social media......
1. Speak positivity into the lives of your loved ones. I'm not going to tell you to be honest. That is kind of a given. Instead, I will tell you to speak positive things into the life of your spouse (or other loved ones). Give yourself a goal of saying at least 5 positive things per day to your spouse and watch how they shine. Lovers become more forgiving, more willing to encourage you, more thankful, and more productive in general. It's a fact of life that positive thoughts beget positive consequences (even if they take awhile). If you speak positivity into your spouse's life, you will get positive consequences.
2. Don't hide behind your hat . What I mean by this is simple: if you wouldn't say or do it with your spouse present, don't do it at all. If you wouldn't look at a website with your wife sitting right next to you, don't look at it at all. If you wouldn't send a picture to someone with your husband sitting right next to you, don't send it at all. This doesn't just apply to social media. This applies to real life. If you have to lie about who you're texting or messaging, you've already stepped over a line. If you have to lie about where you've been or what you've been doing, you've already stepped over a line. If you have to cover your tracks, you clearly know that you're doing something your spouse wouldn't approve of. If you can't live within your relationship's boundaries, you don't need to be in a relationship. Period.
3. Appreciate what you have. Instead of always wanting what someone else has, appreciate what you have. Focus on the good things about your spouse. Yes, there are always things that irritate you about your spouse. Yes there are deal breakers that need to be talked about with your spouse. With that being said, if you focus most of your attention on what is wonderful about your spouse, you'll spend a lot less time being angry at them. A shift in your mindset can make all the difference.
4. Don't make excuses. This kind of coincides with #2. Don't make excuses for your bad behavior. Don't place the blame on someone else for your actions. Hold yourself accountable for what you do. It's not anyone else's fault if you mess up and, quite frankly, your spouse is likely to be much more forgiving if you confess and apologize! No one is responsible for what you do except you.
5. Surround yourself with people who are for you, not against you It's really easy for someone to call you a "friend." It's a horse of a different color for them to actually behave that way. If your "friends" are trash talking your spouse (and no, I'm not referring to honest expression of concern from a friend or family member), they aren't being productive to your relationship. If you feel the need to trash talk your spouse in front of your friends so that you can fit in, you're not being productive to your relationship. If you surround yourself with negative people, you'll start to develop their approach.
and a little bonus.....
Just because you're not married, it doesn't make you immune Committed relationships are committed relationships. I've seen people use a marriage certificate as a convenient out for why they can cheat, lie, etc. It's unacceptable. If you're in a committed relationship, be in a committed relationship. If you're not, make that clear. People are not disposable and treating them like they are is a recipe for a very lonely life.
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