My pet peeve, as a caregiver, is seeing parents who teach their kids to be entitled and not take ownership of their actions. As a parent myself, I am a stickler. My kids know that I may be upset or disappointed if they do something but I can't help them figure out how to fix it if they don't admit the problem and take ownership. The general rule is that you get into less "trouble" if you are honest about what happened (the exception being if you did something out of malicious intent...i.e. you can't punch your sister in the face and admit to it to get into less trouble. Then again, my kids aren't very physical fighters because they know better).
Look...here's the truth of it: kids lie sometimes. I preach and practice honesty with my kids but I also know that lies still happen. The reality is that we, as parents, are responsible for getting to the bottom of the story. Instead of jumping to conclusions and attacking a teacher, for example, over a bad grade, we need to talk to the teacher and find out how our child's work ethic is in class. Instead of jumping to conclusions and yelling at a neighbor child over a rumor, we need to actually talk to the children involved and find out the root of what happened. Instead of jumping to conclusions and going into mama bear mode, we have a responsibility to seek the truth in the situation.
With that being said, I understand the concept of protecting your child. I also understand the concept of not wanting to see your child hurt. I can understand how difficult it might be to NOT jump to a conclusion when your child comes home crying. Girls, especially, can have a difficult time with the queen bees/wannabe infections at our school. Their friends are their friends one day and the next their friends say they hate them. It's easy to want to jump in and intervene but it is NEVER okay for an adult to approach another child to yell at them....EVER. Approaching their parent, their caregiver, or a teacher is absolutely acceptable. There's probably more to the story. Yelling at another person's child is just unacceptable. Consider how you'd feel if it was your child.
It is also important to note that kids that have a history of being dramatic should be watched a bit more carefully when it comes to checking out the whole story. If your child has a history of being a drama king or queen, you should make sure to check with other parents about what happened with a situation. Realistically, dramatic kids will have 2 turnouts: 1-The parent that tells the child that sometimes people can just be mean and teaching them a life lesson about how to handle it. 2-The parent that feeds into the drama and attacks other parents/caregivers or children over the situation. If you are the latter, you are asking for the drama to continue and get stepped up. Bear that in mind.
The point of all of this is to say the following: Our society has turned out a bunch of mouthy butthole parents who are raising entitled, whiny kids. The parents feel like their kids can do no wrong. The kids know that and feed into it. When you make a choice to attack someone else verbally or otherwise in your child's defense, make absolutely certain that it is justified completely by knowing the whole story and NEVER confront another child...deal with their parents. Children do not have the ability or foresight to handle an adult conversation and, frankly, it's immature and disrespectful for you to expect that from them. Choose to teach your children life lessons and they will embrace life much more productively as an adult.
SIDE NOTE: There is a big difference between bullying and kid stuff. If your child is feeling self conscious and takes a question about themselves or their family in a personal way, it is a great opportunity to teach them a life lesson. If your child is being actually victimized, it is your responsibility to advocate to speak to the other child (or children's) parents directly. Bullying should not be tolerated. Just be CERTAIN that you know the whole story before you intervene. It is ALWAYS a good idea to speak to the other parents and just get an idea where the questions or comments are coming from before jumping to a conclusion. It might just clear up a lot of things.
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