I sometimes feel like people misconstrue age-old parenting advice to fit their parenting style. That's not to say that the advice is right or wrong; honestly, every parent has the right to their own style. With that being said, twisting words to fit your needs is defeating the purpose of advice to begin with. Having been on both sides of the fence as a stay at home mom and working mom, I can honestly say that I get both sides of the struggle. Here are a few pieces of advice that I can offer up if you care to listen.....
Socialize your kids. Let me be clear on what I mean by this: YOU take the time to take YOUR kids places and YOU teach them how to interact with others. I do NOT mean that you should put your kids in classes starting at six months old just so they can interact with other babies. If you want to introduce them to classroom structure, fine. If you are looking to socialize your child, the best thing you can do for them is to actually spend the time with them and show them how to interact. Show them what to do if someone steals their toy or cuts in line. Show them how to have compassion when someone is hurting or how to handle a disagreement. Show them to share in others' joy. Teach them to be excited for their friends' achievements. Teach them how to socialize.
Make your kids work for it. Here's the catch: you shouldn't make them work for basic needs. In terms of things that are NOT necessary, however, it's important that kids learn the value of a dollar. I don't care what the current society likes to say about "taking inflation into consideration." Your child does not need, nor will it teach them anything, to give them $20 for a lost tooth. Let's be realistic...you'll raise an entitled kiddo with rewards like that. Kids are capable of doing chores or helpful tasks from a very young age. Your three year old can make their bed. Will it be perfectly straight? Probably not. Can they still try? YES! There are some chores I believe should be part of every family's life anyway to teach kids how to be part of a team. There are others that are fine to pay them for IF they do them. Don't pay your kids for chores they didn't do and don't think that giving them money is teaching them anything.
Manners matter. It seems that our society is taking a nose dive. We're all expected to be "politically correct" so as not to offend people but we forget to teach our kids about REAL manners. Teach them to say "yes ma'am" and "no sir." Teach them about how to close their mouth when they chew and elbows off the table. Teach them to say "please" and "thank you." Kids need to learn that manners do still matter.
and finally....
Teach your ladies to be a lady and your gentlemen to be a gentleman. It sounds redundant but teach them how to be a lady or a gentleman. Am I suggesting that they need to turn back the clock and forget any progress we've made? No. I'm not suggesting women need to be submissive twits that can't speak for themselves. What I am suggesting is that women learn to act like young ladies instead of bossy, bitchy jerks that seem to be common anymore. You can be confident without being crude. I'll say that again: You can be confident without being crude. Men need to learn how to be men. Teach them how to treat a lady like a lady. Teach them how to be strong without being cocky jerks.
Take my advice with a grain of salt, if you will. Some of it is just observation and everyone's entitled to make their own decisions. Just take a moment to think about how jerky a whole lot of this generation is. A whole lot of moms and dads stopped taking old advice in lieu of a new generation of thinking. Just a thought to ponder....what if not ALL of it was wrong. What if your parents weren't completely off? Maybe there's a nice compromise.
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