Birthday Party Host Etiquette

Apologies for a long break.  My body decided to go into shut down mode and give me a massive double ear infection and sinusitis.  Good news is that I was up and at em in a couple of days.  Bad news is those couple of days were awful.  So what have I been contemplating over the .past few days?  Birthday party host etiquette.

There seem to be parents that either didn't learn birthday party etiquette (as the host) or choose not to partake in it.  Unfortunately, this doesn't just create chaos for the host themselves.  It creates chaos for the other parents as well.  For some, it is unintentional or just lack of experience.  For others, it is a conscious choice and to those parents, I say, "you sir/madam are a turd."  If you're fortunate enough to gain the experience in your child's early years when parents stay at the party, fantastic.  If not, here are some tips, tricks and rules of etiquette for birthday parties.

Make it clear if you expect the parents to stay.  Parents of younger school aged kids often aren't sure if they're expected to stay at a party or not.  Be honest.  If you just can't handle that many kids on your own and supervise them well, make the invitation say "You and your child are invited to...." or something of the like.  An extra pair of eyes never hurt anyone. 

Be realistic about the number of kids you invite.  While I absolutely love the idea of inviting everyone from your child's class, understand that your child will likely not be able to socialize with every kid the whole time.  You're likely to end up with some kids feeling left out and that's no fun for them OR their parents so if you're inviting a large group of kids, make certain you have activities planned that include EVERYONE. If you're letting your child be more selective, be realistic about how many kids you invite.  If you have a small house or can't handle a lot of noise, don't invite 12 teenage girls over to drive you crazy the whole night.  Your stress level is directly related to how much fun the kids that are over have.

Be specific on time.  You may be tempted to say, "Whatever time you get here is fine."  Don't say that unless you truly know your ability to handle chaos.  If there is any chance you're going to be pulling your hair out after a couple of hours of party, you need to be clear and not feel bad about being firm on timing.  Sleepovers, specifically, can produce problems.  The other side of this is that if you specify a time, stick to it.  Don't expect parents to be there early and don't send kids home (even if they're in walking distance) early. 

Lay down the rules early on and then give them space to play.  Let everyone know the rules at the start and them let them loose.  You're going to have to expect to remind them a few times but if they know the rules ahead of time, it will be easier to contain their behavior.

and finally....

Don't over plan  You can plan a million activities and you'll get aggravated at how much the kids can blow them off because they just...want....to....play.  They don't need a billion activities, just one or two.  Don't micro manage.  Just let them hang out and you'll be much happier as a host.