Worrying and Walls

I'm such a nervous Nellie when it comes to just about everything anymore.  I think it comes, in part, from being let down over and over again over things I got very excited about.  I start to get excited and want to shout to the world that something wonderful is taking place and then, as if the universe has to prove a point to me, BAM, something happens and I'm let down all over again.  It's always devastating and I truly believe that it's sometimes, a test that God puts before us, allowing it to happen to see how we'll react. 

I had a long discussion this morning with someone, talking about this.  They talked about building up walls and how they'd developed a system of never getting hurt.  I told them that I don't build walls...I build a fence.  A fence is easily constructed and creates a boundary.  They are not impossible to enter....there's a gate to enter through.  With that being said, YOU define how easy or difficult entering through the gate is for the people outside.  If you want it to be difficult, you may protect it with additional measures, like a padlock.  If you're not as concerned, you might only have a latch.  Either way, how high or how secure your fence is depends on how you construct it.

While I'm nervous about things, I refuse to build a wall around me to keep people out.  If you build a wall to keep out the bad, you also keep out the good.  You may prevent the hurt but you also prevent the happiness and love.  If you build a wall, you never open the door to good things happening.  Feeling nervous is natural and the degree to which you feel it is different for everyone.  Some people are more high strung and nervous than others.  If they're like I am, they're constantly concerned about something or someone....the words "care too much" are a characterization I hear often.

With that being said, I am going to continue trusting God with my decisions in life and I'm going to continue pushing forward with allowing people into my life...with boundaries.  Maybe all of these storms are going to produce a beautiful rainbow :)