I'm sure there's some psychological name for the moment when you think everything's getting better and you get hit like a freight train but I refer to it as the Holy Crap Factor. It's that moment when you get the knot in your belly and you realize you're facing a mountain bigger than what you wanted or thought was going to happen. I've learned over and over in my life that you can't control what happens to you 24/7. What you CAN control is how you react to it.
I recently got hit with my own personal freight train and had my Holy Crap Factor. Call it God's peace (which is what I call it) or call it life experience (which I doubt) but my mind immediately went into power mode. It went from "OH SH**!" to "Here's what we need to do!" I was able to organize it and power through the situation without a second thought. I even was able to make the best of it.
I guess this is why I wasn't hit that hard with the Holy Crap Factor:
1. I believe that there is a great purpose and that God makes everything a part of His plan. What seems like chaos right now WILL work itself out in the long run.
2. I believe that me sitting around getting angry about it won't resolve it. It's not that I'm ignoring the problem; instead I'm choosing to focus on the positive and do what I can do to work towards a common good.
3. If I'm gonna be in Sh** Creek, I may as well take a swim.
4. I believe in Karma. I believe that people that do crappy things are going to get it back times 10. I also believe that people that defy the odds are rewarded in the long run. The Bible calls it "reaping what you sow".
No matter what, I believe that the Holy Crap Factor is only around for as long as you allow it. God is good all the time and will reward you for your faithful attitude when stuff happens.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Back on My Feet
After four weeks of post-surgery waiting, I'm finally getting back on my feet.....again. I was released back to work and hoping to see how it goes next week starting back on half days for a couple of weeks. My energy level is coming back and I'm able to get up and do a lot more.
I'm also working my butt off planning upcoming events for my freelance business. Wish me luck!
I'm also working my butt off planning upcoming events for my freelance business. Wish me luck!
The Tebow Experience
I have a confession to make...I'm a Tim Tebow fanatic. Call it "buying into Tebow-mania" or whatever you may. I'm a fanatic for that man: as a person, as a player, and in every other way. In light of the recent news of Tebow practicing with the Patriots, I've been asked over and over what I think so here goes....
I think Tebow is one of those players that makes the line between love and hate very clear. There's not a lot of grey area. Either people are Tebow-bashing haters or they love him. Both sides are equally as passionate about their views and both sides are equally as vocal about it, as well. I happened to be in downtown Denver the day that Tebow got traded to the Jets and, let me tell you, there was a very definite anger at Broncos management in a lot of people talking about loyalty and how much he'd done for the Broncos. I think that Tebow got the shaft in New York. They brought him in knowing his style and what he had the ability to bring to the team and didn't bother attempting to use it. Instead they kept putting Sanchez in, regardless of how much the team was sucking.
With that being said, I have very mixed feelings about his possible signing with the Patriots. IF they actually allow him the ability to perfect his strong points, work on his weak points, and learn in general, he's going to be incredible. His work ethic is second to none and he has a heart like no other player I've ever seen. He has the ability to pull a team together just based on his energy alone. Let him develop his skills further and he's gonna break out and be amazing! IF they are bringing him in just to shaft him like they did in New York, I'm NOT happy. I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, expecting him to be a starting quarterback for the Patriots because it's just not his time. If he DOES get to train and work on his game, he'd make an INCREDIBLE back up and, maybe down the line, a starting quarterback.
So what do I think about it? I'll let you know in about six months when I see how things go.
I think Tebow is one of those players that makes the line between love and hate very clear. There's not a lot of grey area. Either people are Tebow-bashing haters or they love him. Both sides are equally as passionate about their views and both sides are equally as vocal about it, as well. I happened to be in downtown Denver the day that Tebow got traded to the Jets and, let me tell you, there was a very definite anger at Broncos management in a lot of people talking about loyalty and how much he'd done for the Broncos. I think that Tebow got the shaft in New York. They brought him in knowing his style and what he had the ability to bring to the team and didn't bother attempting to use it. Instead they kept putting Sanchez in, regardless of how much the team was sucking.
With that being said, I have very mixed feelings about his possible signing with the Patriots. IF they actually allow him the ability to perfect his strong points, work on his weak points, and learn in general, he's going to be incredible. His work ethic is second to none and he has a heart like no other player I've ever seen. He has the ability to pull a team together just based on his energy alone. Let him develop his skills further and he's gonna break out and be amazing! IF they are bringing him in just to shaft him like they did in New York, I'm NOT happy. I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, expecting him to be a starting quarterback for the Patriots because it's just not his time. If he DOES get to train and work on his game, he'd make an INCREDIBLE back up and, maybe down the line, a starting quarterback.
So what do I think about it? I'll let you know in about six months when I see how things go.
Monday, June 17, 2013
A Million Pictures
One of my crazies asked me if I was going to hang up a million pictures in the house. My answer was that the ONLY reason I'd want a huge mansion is so that I could have more space to hang up pictures in it. Admittedly, some of that is that I'm a photographer and I can't help myself...I have more pictures than I'll probably ever realistically need for any major purpose. With that being said, I'm also just a picture lover. I love having pictures hanging around my house that show all different aspects of my life. Like everything else in my life, I have an opinion on it.....
1. I love "posed" traditional photographs. It doesn't have to be studio photography (in fact, I'm not a huge fan of the look of studio photography for big pictures in my life). These are generally my 8X10s of the kids that get replaced close to their birthdays. It's generally a full body shot that shows off how much they've grown, what kinds of clothes they like, etc. It's become a bit of a tradition that they get a little more dressed up for the shots and they often end up with a more reserved (though still natural...because I'll WAIT all day for a natural smile) smile.
2. I love candid shots. Aside from the traditional posed shots, I always do a full shoot for the kids around their birthday that lets them get their personality out. We change clothes into something less formal and just have fun. I love the shots with tongues stuck out, pouty faces, or shots where I just said their name and they looked up and smiled without knowing I was taking a picture.
3. I love action shots. Currently, on my wall, I have shots of my kids shooting airsoft guns, jumping rocks while hiking, blowing bubbles, throwing a football, and playing in the hose. I love shots of kids just being kids. It produces the most natural smiles (or, in some cases, tongues stuck out in concentration) and shows them in their element.
4. I love affection shots. I have one particular shot of the crazies from several years ago where they all sat in front of each other and have a big hug. They're smiling such natural, happy smiles and you can truly tell that they love each other. This extends to all different combinations of family members or friends. I love shots that truly show the affection that the people feel for each other.
5. I like to have lots of shots of family and friends around. I have an entire wall of nieces and nephews. I replace the shots regularly but they're ALWAYS nieces and nephews. I also have shots of grandparents, friends, and neighbors around. I love shots of family and friends around the house to remind all of us how loved we truly are (and all of the people we love, as well).
6. I love shots from excursions we've had. Whether it's hiking in the mountains, going to a ball game, or celebrating a special event, I love having pictures around to remember fun times. Not only is it a great way to commemorate a special event, but it's also a reminder on those rough days exactly how much fun we have together.
7. I love achievement shots. I have shots of every single one of the kids getting awards at their school for honor roll, good behavior, and more. I have shots of kindergarten graduation but also shots of my oldest daughter's Continuation. I also have shots of major achievements for the adults in the house...my favorite for me, personally, is my shot of me with Vince Jackson after shooting his fundraiser a couple of months ago.
Regardless of what people's opinions are on hanging pictures, I love having as many pictures as I can around the house. I give photo gifts at nearly every holiday. I love receiving photo gifts. I think that pictures are an integral part of making a house a home.
1. I love "posed" traditional photographs. It doesn't have to be studio photography (in fact, I'm not a huge fan of the look of studio photography for big pictures in my life). These are generally my 8X10s of the kids that get replaced close to their birthdays. It's generally a full body shot that shows off how much they've grown, what kinds of clothes they like, etc. It's become a bit of a tradition that they get a little more dressed up for the shots and they often end up with a more reserved (though still natural...because I'll WAIT all day for a natural smile) smile.
2. I love candid shots. Aside from the traditional posed shots, I always do a full shoot for the kids around their birthday that lets them get their personality out. We change clothes into something less formal and just have fun. I love the shots with tongues stuck out, pouty faces, or shots where I just said their name and they looked up and smiled without knowing I was taking a picture.
3. I love action shots. Currently, on my wall, I have shots of my kids shooting airsoft guns, jumping rocks while hiking, blowing bubbles, throwing a football, and playing in the hose. I love shots of kids just being kids. It produces the most natural smiles (or, in some cases, tongues stuck out in concentration) and shows them in their element.
4. I love affection shots. I have one particular shot of the crazies from several years ago where they all sat in front of each other and have a big hug. They're smiling such natural, happy smiles and you can truly tell that they love each other. This extends to all different combinations of family members or friends. I love shots that truly show the affection that the people feel for each other.
5. I like to have lots of shots of family and friends around. I have an entire wall of nieces and nephews. I replace the shots regularly but they're ALWAYS nieces and nephews. I also have shots of grandparents, friends, and neighbors around. I love shots of family and friends around the house to remind all of us how loved we truly are (and all of the people we love, as well).
6. I love shots from excursions we've had. Whether it's hiking in the mountains, going to a ball game, or celebrating a special event, I love having pictures around to remember fun times. Not only is it a great way to commemorate a special event, but it's also a reminder on those rough days exactly how much fun we have together.
7. I love achievement shots. I have shots of every single one of the kids getting awards at their school for honor roll, good behavior, and more. I have shots of kindergarten graduation but also shots of my oldest daughter's Continuation. I also have shots of major achievements for the adults in the house...my favorite for me, personally, is my shot of me with Vince Jackson after shooting his fundraiser a couple of months ago.
Regardless of what people's opinions are on hanging pictures, I love having as many pictures as I can around the house. I give photo gifts at nearly every holiday. I love receiving photo gifts. I think that pictures are an integral part of making a house a home.
Father's Day: It Takes More Than Sperm to Make a Daddy
I believe that sex education is a vital part of a child's education in school. I think that the biology and, in some part, the sociology is an important part of the education a child should receive. I believe in teaching them about the anatomy, different types of families (mom/dad, dad/dad, mom/mom, grandparents raising grandchildren, etc), and what body changes adolescents go through during puberty are an important lesson and a necessary part of growth and development.
With that being said, I believe that there are certain lessons that are best taught at home. One of these such lessons is that it takes more than sperm to be a daddy (there is a flip side for moms but I will cover this another time). This is a controversial topic in some circles and often splits people into two separate groups based on personal life experiences or the life experiences of a loved one. Then again, I'm not all that concerned with other people's judgments on my opinions...opinions are like buttholes; everyone has one.
There is a group of men in this world that are highly lauded in my heart. These are the biological fathers that take ownership of their babies. (This is not, in any way, related to men/couples that give up their child for adoption. That takes a whole different level of bravery and love for their child and can not even begin to be compared to deadbeat dads). Unfortunately, there seem to be more and more "deadbeat dads" out there. Even more unfortunate are the deadbeat dads that are still in a "traditional" two parent household. I'm not just talking about not taking financial responsibility; I'm talking about emotional, physical, and mental support as well. Very little warms my heart more than a true "daddy" that puts their children first, loves them unconditionally, plays with them, supports them in every way, and truly enjoys fatherhood. It's awesome to me to see fathers (whether in a two parent household, single dads, or shared custody dads) who truly enjoy the blessing they've been given to the fullest.
There is another group of men that are equally as endearingly adored in my heart: the dads that take over when a biological parent makes the decision to not be a parent. Sometimes they come in the form of step parents (who sometimes adopt the children at a later time) but they also come in other forms, as well. It takes a lot of courage, love, and a million other wonderful qualities to take over where someone else decided that they didn't want to go. This is another instance of family being more than just a blood relationship. There is an elite group of daddies that picked up where someone else dropped the ball and run it all the way to the end zone.
I don't want to leave out "surrogate" father figures. This might be a family member (grandfather, etc) or it might be a coach, neighbor, or other such person. These surrogate father figures contribute their wisdom, time, and love to children that they simply want to be there for. It's not a part of a love relationships with the child's mother; it's simply a desire to want to provide a positive male influence for a child that might otherwise not experience that love. These, too, are amazing and wonderful men that deserve applause.
The final group of "dads" I think deserve some applause are the single moms that have to serve multiple roles. Having lived this role, I fully understand how difficult it can be and, for mothers that raise their children through their entire childhood in this role, I am amazed at the bravery, love, and other wonderful qualities it takes to serve both roles in a child's life.
Whatever kind of daddy is in your child's life, I hope that you applaud them every day. Let them know that they're loved and admired in a way that lets them experience the appreciation they deserve. Happy Father's Day.
With that being said, I believe that there are certain lessons that are best taught at home. One of these such lessons is that it takes more than sperm to be a daddy (there is a flip side for moms but I will cover this another time). This is a controversial topic in some circles and often splits people into two separate groups based on personal life experiences or the life experiences of a loved one. Then again, I'm not all that concerned with other people's judgments on my opinions...opinions are like buttholes; everyone has one.
There is a group of men in this world that are highly lauded in my heart. These are the biological fathers that take ownership of their babies. (This is not, in any way, related to men/couples that give up their child for adoption. That takes a whole different level of bravery and love for their child and can not even begin to be compared to deadbeat dads). Unfortunately, there seem to be more and more "deadbeat dads" out there. Even more unfortunate are the deadbeat dads that are still in a "traditional" two parent household. I'm not just talking about not taking financial responsibility; I'm talking about emotional, physical, and mental support as well. Very little warms my heart more than a true "daddy" that puts their children first, loves them unconditionally, plays with them, supports them in every way, and truly enjoys fatherhood. It's awesome to me to see fathers (whether in a two parent household, single dads, or shared custody dads) who truly enjoy the blessing they've been given to the fullest.
There is another group of men that are equally as endearingly adored in my heart: the dads that take over when a biological parent makes the decision to not be a parent. Sometimes they come in the form of step parents (who sometimes adopt the children at a later time) but they also come in other forms, as well. It takes a lot of courage, love, and a million other wonderful qualities to take over where someone else decided that they didn't want to go. This is another instance of family being more than just a blood relationship. There is an elite group of daddies that picked up where someone else dropped the ball and run it all the way to the end zone.
I don't want to leave out "surrogate" father figures. This might be a family member (grandfather, etc) or it might be a coach, neighbor, or other such person. These surrogate father figures contribute their wisdom, time, and love to children that they simply want to be there for. It's not a part of a love relationships with the child's mother; it's simply a desire to want to provide a positive male influence for a child that might otherwise not experience that love. These, too, are amazing and wonderful men that deserve applause.
The final group of "dads" I think deserve some applause are the single moms that have to serve multiple roles. Having lived this role, I fully understand how difficult it can be and, for mothers that raise their children through their entire childhood in this role, I am amazed at the bravery, love, and other wonderful qualities it takes to serve both roles in a child's life.
Whatever kind of daddy is in your child's life, I hope that you applaud them every day. Let them know that they're loved and admired in a way that lets them experience the appreciation they deserve. Happy Father's Day.
More Than Blood
I have a large family, lots of nieces and nephews and cousins, aunts and uncles, and more. The catch? A lot of my "family" is not biologically related to me. A good portion of the family is "adopted" (not legally, of course). It doesn't stop me from referring to them as sisters, brothers, nieces or nephews because I believe that family is about more than blood. In fact, I heard a great quote the other day that summed it up for me....
"Family isn't about sharing the same genetics, That's being related, Family is when you love someone to death, and You would do anything for them, You trust them, Take care of them, And in Return they do the same. Its the type of bond you hold together." -Tanya Bianco
The only word I'd add to this is "just." Family isn't JUST about sharing the same genetics. I don't want to completely write off blood relationships because, for a lot of people, blood relationships make the difference. There is a common tie that binds for a lot of families and it might just be that their common bloodline unites them. I can't speak for every family in this instance; I can only speak from my own experience. That's where the disagreement with the statement ends for me, though.
I do believe that loving someone, taking care of them, and trusting them are some of the most important parts of being a family. Family is NOT about convenience. It's about loving someone in the happiest of times and in the times when they're facing the most adversity. It's about being there for the giggles but also for the tears. It's about being there whether you live down the street or across the ocean. "Mom", "Dad," "Sister," "Brother"....they're not just terms to throw around for me. When I call someone my sister, it's not just a term of biology; it's a term of endearment and honor. It means that I love them with all of my heart and I'd do anything I could to help them whenever, whatever. It means that if they hurt my feelings, I'm not just going to write them off; I'm going to do my best to resolve the issue.
Let's face it: sometimes families, biological and otherwise, get into situations where the anger, frustration, sadness and mistrust just can't be resolved. They barely talk or might stop talking altogether and, in some cases, they might even bad-talk to other people about each other. Some families go on for generations with a war, of sorts, waged between siblings and their families. Sometimes this is a two-sided argument and sometimes it's just the anger and wrath of one person contributing to the entire situation. The fact is that none of that really matters when it comes down to it. Sometimes you just have to accept situations as they are, know that you don't have control over anyone else but yourself, let go of the past (for your own health and well-being) and move on with the people that love you and understand you for who you are.
Family is MORE than just a blood relationship; it's loving someone as they are.
"Family isn't about sharing the same genetics, That's being related, Family is when you love someone to death, and You would do anything for them, You trust them, Take care of them, And in Return they do the same. Its the type of bond you hold together." -Tanya Bianco
The only word I'd add to this is "just." Family isn't JUST about sharing the same genetics. I don't want to completely write off blood relationships because, for a lot of people, blood relationships make the difference. There is a common tie that binds for a lot of families and it might just be that their common bloodline unites them. I can't speak for every family in this instance; I can only speak from my own experience. That's where the disagreement with the statement ends for me, though.
I do believe that loving someone, taking care of them, and trusting them are some of the most important parts of being a family. Family is NOT about convenience. It's about loving someone in the happiest of times and in the times when they're facing the most adversity. It's about being there for the giggles but also for the tears. It's about being there whether you live down the street or across the ocean. "Mom", "Dad," "Sister," "Brother"....they're not just terms to throw around for me. When I call someone my sister, it's not just a term of biology; it's a term of endearment and honor. It means that I love them with all of my heart and I'd do anything I could to help them whenever, whatever. It means that if they hurt my feelings, I'm not just going to write them off; I'm going to do my best to resolve the issue.
Let's face it: sometimes families, biological and otherwise, get into situations where the anger, frustration, sadness and mistrust just can't be resolved. They barely talk or might stop talking altogether and, in some cases, they might even bad-talk to other people about each other. Some families go on for generations with a war, of sorts, waged between siblings and their families. Sometimes this is a two-sided argument and sometimes it's just the anger and wrath of one person contributing to the entire situation. The fact is that none of that really matters when it comes down to it. Sometimes you just have to accept situations as they are, know that you don't have control over anyone else but yourself, let go of the past (for your own health and well-being) and move on with the people that love you and understand you for who you are.
Family is MORE than just a blood relationship; it's loving someone as they are.
Friday, June 14, 2013
"Wash your butt" and other things that only a mom says
I sat down today to discuss a few things with the crazies, not the least of which was the quickly disappearing shampoo and conditioner from the girls' shampoo. As a mom on a budget, I know exactly how much of various toiletries is required to make it through a month. I specifically made the purchase of pumps for the shampoo and conditioner the girls use to make certain that they were not pouring half the bottle in their hand every time they washed their hair. Mysteriously, the shampoo has been disappearing at a rapid rate and I've heard a whole lot of horseplay when the boys are showering. This, along with the encroachment of body odor from summer sweat, led me to have a discussion about hygiene and other topics. It definitely got me thinking about some of the phrases I say that are phrases that only a mom would probably say. Here are some of them:
1. The___________ is not a playground/jungle gym. The word "shower" can be interchanged with several others and still be a phrase that I use. The sofa is not a jungle gym. Your bed is not a trampoline. It all fits into the same mold. The fact that I had to explain this using the term "slip and fall on your butt", which sent rippling giggles throughout the room, is irrelevant.
2. The floor is not a slip and slide. Okay, I confess...I was guilty of trying the Pippi Longstocking floor-cleaning technique as a kid. I understand the entire room becomes a massive cloud of steam when there are four kids showering in a row and that you might discover the slippery floor can serve as an express train to get from one side of the room to the other. With that being said, additional lubrication of the floor is NOT okay...and is extremely unsafe.
3. You're gonna break your neck Again, this is one of those phrases I feel like I repeat over and over. Be careful so you don't break your neck/head! This is usually coupled with "I don't feel like spending the night in the emergency room" or "I don't want to hearing any fussing when...."
4. Don't come crying to me when..... This is the phrase I use when I'm warning them, or occasionally directly telling them, not to do something because it's going to have consequences. Examples include "If you're going to keep wrestling, don't come crying to me when you get hurt" or "If you won't put your toys again, don't come crying to me when they get lost."
5. I don't care what ______ gets to do because he/she is not my child If you're a parent of a school aged child, you've probably said this yourself. Apparently I have more rules than other neighborhood parents because I've been told that other kids get to get ice cream every single day from the ice cream man, don't have to look both ways EVERY time before crossing the stress, and that they get to have ice cream and candy whenever they want. I have yet to meet these children but I'm sure they're good friends with the also-fictional children "I don't know" and "I didn't do it."
6. Life's not fair...deal with it. This is mostly a phrase I have to repeat with my tween-age daughter who frequently likes to inform me how unfair I am. I'm unfair because I give them chores and I'm unfair because they have a bed time. I'm unfair because I make them help each other out on occasion and I'm unfair because I won't let her friends come over every waking minute of the day. "Fair" is a word that became re-defined when I had children....and I am not proactively practicing it apparently.
7. When I was a kid..... Yes, I'm that mom. When I was a kid, we got smacked with a wooden spoon when we misbehaved. When I was a kid, we got our mouths washed out with soap if we talked like that. When I was a kid, we sat on the floor instead of expecting adults to move when we were watching TV. When I was a kid, we were outside all the time until we HAD to come in. When I was a kid, we had to walk uphill both ways in 3 feet of snow.....Okay I haven't used that one (yet).
8. Wash your butt.... This one is far more frequently used with a tween-age son that is developing a serious case of B.O. It's simple fact...boys stink. I feel a little like Bill Cosby telling them step by step instructions for the shower:" Get in, turn on the water, wash completely...this includes behind your ears and in your armpits and for God's sake WASH YOUR BUTT!"
9. That is there...this is here....come HERE! This is the frequent answer to anyone who screams "Whhhaaaatttttttttt" across the house when I yell their name. Yes, I just screamed your name across the house to get your attention, probably because I'm busy and can't come to you. That does not mean continuously scream across the house asking me what I need over and over; it means come here and find out what I need while I am talking in my normal speaking voice.
10. Get up, shake it off.... Until I was a parent of multiple children, I didn't use this phrase. Now I'm more apt to tell them to "rub some dirt on it" than to tear off running in panic every time they skin their knee (and NO I don't actually have them rub dirt on it.) This is sometimes coupled with "dry it up" to exaggerated hypochondriacs looking for attention.
This certainly doesn't cover the entire selection of "mom only" phrases but it gives a general idea to how my household sounds. I'll cover the use of the word "potty" (and other mom phrases) when I have more time to post about the words that officially initiate you into mommy-hood.
1. The___________ is not a playground/jungle gym. The word "shower" can be interchanged with several others and still be a phrase that I use. The sofa is not a jungle gym. Your bed is not a trampoline. It all fits into the same mold. The fact that I had to explain this using the term "slip and fall on your butt", which sent rippling giggles throughout the room, is irrelevant.
2. The floor is not a slip and slide. Okay, I confess...I was guilty of trying the Pippi Longstocking floor-cleaning technique as a kid. I understand the entire room becomes a massive cloud of steam when there are four kids showering in a row and that you might discover the slippery floor can serve as an express train to get from one side of the room to the other. With that being said, additional lubrication of the floor is NOT okay...and is extremely unsafe.
3. You're gonna break your neck Again, this is one of those phrases I feel like I repeat over and over. Be careful so you don't break your neck/head! This is usually coupled with "I don't feel like spending the night in the emergency room" or "I don't want to hearing any fussing when...."
4. Don't come crying to me when..... This is the phrase I use when I'm warning them, or occasionally directly telling them, not to do something because it's going to have consequences. Examples include "If you're going to keep wrestling, don't come crying to me when you get hurt" or "If you won't put your toys again, don't come crying to me when they get lost."
5. I don't care what ______ gets to do because he/she is not my child If you're a parent of a school aged child, you've probably said this yourself. Apparently I have more rules than other neighborhood parents because I've been told that other kids get to get ice cream every single day from the ice cream man, don't have to look both ways EVERY time before crossing the stress, and that they get to have ice cream and candy whenever they want. I have yet to meet these children but I'm sure they're good friends with the also-fictional children "I don't know" and "I didn't do it."
6. Life's not fair...deal with it. This is mostly a phrase I have to repeat with my tween-age daughter who frequently likes to inform me how unfair I am. I'm unfair because I give them chores and I'm unfair because they have a bed time. I'm unfair because I make them help each other out on occasion and I'm unfair because I won't let her friends come over every waking minute of the day. "Fair" is a word that became re-defined when I had children....and I am not proactively practicing it apparently.
7. When I was a kid..... Yes, I'm that mom. When I was a kid, we got smacked with a wooden spoon when we misbehaved. When I was a kid, we got our mouths washed out with soap if we talked like that. When I was a kid, we sat on the floor instead of expecting adults to move when we were watching TV. When I was a kid, we were outside all the time until we HAD to come in. When I was a kid, we had to walk uphill both ways in 3 feet of snow.....Okay I haven't used that one (yet).
8. Wash your butt.... This one is far more frequently used with a tween-age son that is developing a serious case of B.O. It's simple fact...boys stink. I feel a little like Bill Cosby telling them step by step instructions for the shower:" Get in, turn on the water, wash completely...this includes behind your ears and in your armpits and for God's sake WASH YOUR BUTT!"
9. That is there...this is here....come HERE! This is the frequent answer to anyone who screams "Whhhaaaatttttttttt" across the house when I yell their name. Yes, I just screamed your name across the house to get your attention, probably because I'm busy and can't come to you. That does not mean continuously scream across the house asking me what I need over and over; it means come here and find out what I need while I am talking in my normal speaking voice.
10. Get up, shake it off.... Until I was a parent of multiple children, I didn't use this phrase. Now I'm more apt to tell them to "rub some dirt on it" than to tear off running in panic every time they skin their knee (and NO I don't actually have them rub dirt on it.) This is sometimes coupled with "dry it up" to exaggerated hypochondriacs looking for attention.
This certainly doesn't cover the entire selection of "mom only" phrases but it gives a general idea to how my household sounds. I'll cover the use of the word "potty" (and other mom phrases) when I have more time to post about the words that officially initiate you into mommy-hood.
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