Grads

 

So they're now graduates and I'm reeling because I'm feeling old.  My oldest (my teen drama queen) is nearly as tall as I am.  My tweenage son got his first pimple last week.  When did I get so old?  The good news is, I'm still fabulous. Hahaha

What Comes Naturally

I was given the nicest compliment last night about me being a fantastic parent.  It's always something so nice to hear because most parents work their tails off to be a good parent.  It's a balance of discipline, fun, and learning combined with a constant supply of love.  It looks different for every family but the unconditional love is a constant in all the best ones.

All of this had me thinking of how we are all created so differently and how some things come so naturally to one person and is so difficult for someone else.  Taking care of children comes very naturally to me.  It always has.  I have a knack for it.  God created me with boatloads of patience (when it comes to kids) and an ability to click with so many personality types with kids.  My Gram says it's because my big heart comes through.  Who knows if that's the reasoning or not.  I just know that being a mom or a caregiver comes very naturally to me whether it's one kid or a dozen.

Then I look at the people that compliment me on my parenting skills and the amazing skills that they have.  Some are amazing carpenters.  Some are incredible writers.  They are stellar in their chosen careers and they are able to do things that I am too technically slow to understand.  They may have to work harder at having patience, as a parent but they absolutely still do just as great a job.  It just doesn't come as naturally to them sometimes.

I say all of that to say this: I truly don't believe that there is one job that is better than another.  I don't believe that being a CEO makes you any better than a stay at home mom.  I don't believe that being a corporate lawyer makes you better than a trash man.  If you enjoy what you do and you're using the skills God gave you, I truly believe that one is not better than the other.  The world needs all kinds of people to do all kinds of jobs.  Some require training or higher education.  Some require an apprenticeship.  The point is that if you are using your skills to work hard and make the world a better place, you're contributing to society and that, ultimately, is what being an adult is all about.  The skills that come naturally to you were put inside of you for a reason.

Would I absolutely love to stay at home with my kids again?  Of course! If I had the opportunity to work from home or be a stay at home mom and volunteer at their schools, I would jump on it like a grasshopper.  Now, though, I'm thankful to have a job that lets me use the skills that come naturally to me and encourage others to do the same.

Learning Over the Summer

The school year being over is a reminder, yet again, that it's a choice whether to keep the kids sharp on their skills over the summer.  Personally, I'm a big advocate of a  mix of unschooling and old school skills over the summer.  Though I'm not entirely sure I'm using the term correctly, my understanding of unschooling is that they pick something to learn about and you give them the freedom to learn as much as possible about that topic.  My kids do have a structure to it but they were able to pick topics.  The other part of their summer learning is based around activities that are no longer focused on in core-curriculum based schools.  I definitely don't want to undo what they've learned but I like to add on and fill in the blanks.

One of the big focuses in my house this summer is history.  I'm really wanting them to develop a love of history and of learning about all of the trials and achievements of this country.  I am certain that I can't cram centuries of history into a full summer but I'm utilizing resources to help them learn as much as possible.  I'm trying to make it interesting for them so that they want to find out what happened next....and then what happened after that. 

Another big focus is writing.  I truly believe that learning to write is a key factor in succeeding in school.  It may be something fun and interesting or it may be a prompt that they have to use their imagination for.  Regardless, it's a stepping stone to keeping them sharp and helping them to use the skills that they've learned, and maybe even grow them some.

The biggest focus, however, is on them getting to be kids.  This may take a small snippet of time from their day to make their school year run more smoothly but my biggest focus is allowing them to be kids.  I don't believe in over-scheduling them.  There's plenty of time for work, work, work when they're older.  Right now, I just want them to enjoy themselves and keep loving to learn like they do now.

If you haven't looked into reading programs, check at your local library, Barnes & Noble or through the scholastic summer reading program.  Some of the programs offer free books when you read a certain amount of minutes and can be a great encouragement to get your child to keep learning over the summer!

The Real News vs Duggar News

I tend to have a very limited amount of patience when it comes to over-inflated news stories that everyone is hearing about.  I am of the opinion that if we are going to focus high concentration on a news story, it should be one that affects all of us like the soldiers fighting overseas (or how their families are faring here, for that matter), government activities, and so on.  I remember the news being "boring" when I was a kid because most of it WAS focused on REAL news like the government, the troops, foreign activities, and so on.  I could only WISH that the news still worked this way as half of the news focuses on ridiculous celebrity stories and random goofiness.  Don't get me wrong, I get it: people don't want to be weighed down with the heaviness of things that might upset or scare them.  It's a ratings game.  With that being said, if you don't know your history, it's doomed to repeat itself.  Why WOULDN'T people want to know what's going on?  Why is our society more worried about finding out which cake Kim Kardashian is picking for her daughter's next birthday than what our nation is currently experiencing?  It's a mystery to me.

My patience is wearing thin lately on the Duggar incident (Josh Duggar incident).  I shudder at even reducing the happenings to the word "incident" but for the sake of writing, I'll use that word.  Let me first say that what he did was disgusting.  I'm not concerned with what age he was when it comes to categorizing it with about a billion different words that are all negative.  His actions were despicable.  Do I like or agree with how it was handled?  On a personal level, not so much.  My problem lies with the way it is being handled NOW, though.  Why the hell is this a news story?  Aside from smearing the family name, what good is it doing to drag up past events now?  My concern has zero to do with Josh and all to do with the victims, whoever they are.  This has got to be killing them.  Victims of such monstrosities live with this for the rest of their lives already....now it's being dragged out for the world to pick apart and discuss.  How awful for them.  How truly, truly awful.  I refuse to become one of those people that posts a million posts on this just to condemn and spread the word.  This should NOT be being handled in the public eye.  You want to inform others for the "safety" of who he's around from now on, fine.  The victims should not be having to relive this, though.  End of story.

I say all of that to say this: If you are one of the people posting all of this media hype just for the sake of doing some sort of "public service," think before you post.  It's one thing to share an opinion and it's another to focus so much on an event like this that you forget what's happening in your nation.  Open your eyes to what is going on and stop focusing so much on the lives of celebrities. 

(On a brief side note, I have a thought for a few to ponder.  Those that are smearing the family name because it's "evidence" of the Duggars not being as "perfect" or "pious" as you thought, consider the following: Is it possible that if people stopped focusing their attention on these reality TV families as a whole (all of them from the Kardashians to the Duggars) that, perhaps, there would be no need to dissect any of them because they'd ALL go away from the public eye?  Drawing more attention to them by posting constantly isn't proving anything to most people. You aren't doing a public service.  Opinions are fine but you aren't proving a thing.)

10 People I'd Like to Throat Punch

For my humorous Friday post, I'd like to share the 10 people I'd like to throat punch.....

1.  People that go on and on about family values and then treat their family like shit.

2.  People that wait until the very last minute to merge after seeing the "lane ends" sign and ignoring it and then get pissy and flip you off when you won't let them in.

3.  Girls who post sexy selfies 1000 times a week .  If you really need the ego boost that bad, you have a serious issues.

4.  Parents that leave their babies/toddlers in cars to run errands. 

5.  People that leave their dogs in hot cars.

6.  Anyone that uses the word "bae" to describe their significant other.  Seriously it means "poo" in Danish.....dumb.

7.  Men that tell women that they're not sexy if they don't have a thigh gap....yet they have "dad bod". 

8.  Working moms that judge stay at home moms....and stay at home moms that judge working moms.

9.  Parents that clearly favor one child over the other.

10.  People with no sense of humor.

Support

I have heard an incredible amount of people commenting last night and this morning on the Kardashians first hearing about Bruce Jenner's transition to a woman. I should, first, say that my opinion on the topic is as follows: Bruce Jenner is an Olympic athlete who has achieved incredible feats.  It is very sad to me that all the current generation will remember him for is his association with the Kardashians and this moment, a moment that should be have allowed to be private (or as private as Bruce chooses it to be).  On to other aspects of my post, though....

I see people commenting about how they can't believe how selfish they were upon hearing the news.  They can't believe that the girls were all concerned about how Kris would handle it.  All I can say about that is that you don't know how you'd react to something until you've walked a mile in their shoes.  I'm DEFINITELY not condoning the way they reacted or glorifying it.  I'd like to think that my concern would have been for how difficult this must have been for Bruce and how he is handling the stress that comes with letting people in on his secret.  With that being said, I can't judge them for how they've handled it because I don't know what I'd truly say in that moment, before I had a chance to truly think it over.  I'd also say that perhaps history should have told the audience that the family has a history of reacting much the same way they reacted initially in this case too.  I'm not saying it's good or bad....just that it is a relatively normal reaction from what I've seen.

With all of that being said, I'd like to take a moment to address something I feel strongly about in a family (be it blood relatives, marriage, or just a group of people that refer to each other as family).  That topic is SUPPORT.  Look, as a parent, I understand that we don't always like the choices our kids make.  We may not like their choice of clothes or their choice of friends or their choice of major in college.  We may not like their choice to play baseball instead of basketball.  We have these hopes and dreams of what we want our kids to look like and it is sometimes hard to look at those dreams and realize that kids are their own person and have their own abilities, interests, and so on.  I truly believe that our friendships, love relationships and so on have these same expectations.  We set expectations of what we want it to look like and feel slightly disappointed when it doesn't look the same way.  It is perfectly okay to feel that disappointment but how you react to it is a different story.

Whether your relationship is a friendship, family relationship, love relationship or whatever, if you are truly there for someone, it means you support them.  You don't have to like their decision but you support it.  Of course the exception is if the person is hurting themselves or someone else in the process (aka addiction, suicidal thoughts, etc).  The reality is that their life is their life and they have to live with the fallout of whatever choice they make.  They don't need you telling them what to do but just being there for them when they're struggling through this thing called life.  You can give your opinion in a constructive way (or just keep your mouth shut if it applies) but then you need to just leave it be and just BE THERE.  If you don't like who your son is dating, you don't have to like it....just give your opinion and then be there to catch them.   If you don't like your daughter's chosen major, don't like it....but be there and understand that they've made a choice.

My final thought on the matter is this: You may not always understand the choices that someone else makes.  You may think that you'd never be able to do a job that takes so much time away from their family but it works for your friend.  You may think that you wouldn't dare forgive and forget from a friendship where someone was hurt so badly but they are able to do it and live happily.  You may think that someone should just walk away from a relationship but they keep fighting to make it work.  It's not your responsibility to take stock of what everyone's choices are, the mistakes that are made, or the life they've chosen to live.  If you are a friend, family member, etc your responsibility (in my opinion) is to be there to support someone whether you understand it or not.  Save your "I told you so's" until you've walked a day in their shoes.

Review of Air Optix contacts

After months of using the product, I now feel confident saying it....Air Optix Contacts are AMAZING!  As an Acuvue user for years, I had grown used to my eyes feeling painfully dry halfway through the day.  Consistently, I would spend months twice a year swearing that I'd switch to solely wearing glasses because of the feeling that I needed to scratch my eyeballs out.  I could moisten them 10 times a day with 10 different brands of eye drops and they'd still itch during allergy season. 

When I went to the eye doctor early this spring, I explained my problem and they suggested that I change brands.  They gave me a trial pair and I agreed to give it a try.  On some level, I think I assumed that I'd still have the same issue at a more expensive price.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  Not only are the contacts incredibly breathable but they are comfortable on my eye and last longer than the traditional 2 week Acuvue I was wearing!

Yes, I understand that different people are better off with different brands due to the shape of their eyes, their prescription, or special conditions.  If you CAN get this brand, though, I thoroughly recommend it.