Tact and Self Control

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I believe that there is a certain degree of tact that all people should learn to exercise and that we should be teaching our children to exercise, especially.  I'm not the type of person to sugar coat ANYTHING but I do believe that sometimes, it's a great idea to just keep your mouth shut if you're not going to improve the situation with your words.  Here are my general rules when it comes to tact:

Not EVERYONE needs your opinion ALL of the time.  Let's face it: it's hard to NOT open your mouth sometimes.  Realistically speaking, you may need to bite your tongue as hard as you can.  You are not a radiant all-knowing spirit and not everyone needs your opinion all of the time. 

If it's not improving the situation, think twice before saying it.  Okay so sometimes you just need to tell it like it is to someone who's just not getting it.  Sometimes you just need to realize that if you're not going to help the situation, you might need to just shut your mouth.  Practice self-control and let people make their own mistakes.

With those two things said, if you HAVE to say it, try to say it without criticizing.  This particularly applies to loved ones.  If you have to say something hard, try to say it without criticizing.  Am I suggesting you sugar coat?  No.  Am I suggesting you choose not to kick them when they're down, yes.

Use YOUR intelligence to make the conversation lean in a direction where your advice may be helpful.  Use the intelligence God gave you to turn the conversation from an "ugh, why won't he shut up" to a "Hmmmm that might be a different way to look at it."  The use of the phrases, "Maybe you could try" or "It might be an option to look into if you..." might be a helpful start.

and finally....

Understand that they aren't likely to take your advice anyway.  Very few people on this planet listen to anyone else, really.  They honestly take what you're saying with a grain of salt, even if they're your best friend.  They have to learn.  Sometimes the best action is being ready to catch them when they fall and fight the urge to say "I told you so."

Perhaps if more people in our country exercised tact and a little bit of self-control when it comes to what comes out of their mouths, the country would be a gentler place.