Family Drama

I'd like to take a moment to discuss a very important topic: family drama.  I know, I know...it's a little heavy for a Saturday but it must be said.  In a time of more broken families than ever, there is more family drama than ever.  What does a broken family look like?  I define it a bit different than society: a broken family is ANY family that has an inability to function in a way that is not conducive to all of its members being emotionally and mentally healthy.  In short, a broken family can absolutely be a family with a mom, dad and kids.  A broken family can be a family with same sex parents and kids.  A broken family can be a family with a couple and some fur babies.  A broken family can be a family where the kids are raised by an auntie or a grandparent.  Of course, as defined by society, a broken family can also be a family where the parents are divorced.  In my opinion, broken families come in all shapes and sizes.

With that much said, here are my thoughts on a few topics under this umbrella.

Severed parent-child relationships For many years of my life, I felt like there was something wrong with me because the broken relationship in my life.  As a parent, I understand the way that kids rebel and I understand the drama that can come.  What I don't understand is ANY relationship where a parent walks away from their child over family drama.  I can't grasp the concept....at all.  When you became a parent, you understood that you were a parent for LIFE.  You are not a parent until they turn 18.  You are not a parent until they're self-sufficient.  You are not a parent until they make you mad.  You are a parent for life.  If you are okay with not speaking to your child because they made you mad, shame on you.  If you are okay with cutting a child out of your life in order to please one of your other children, shame on you.  If you are okay with not seeing your child for a decade or more just because you don't care, shame on you.  Period.

Severed child-parent relationships  Okay, I get it, you didn't choose your parents but they're the ones you've got.  They may drive you crazy but they're still your parents.  While I'm not quite as hard on the kids here, it doesn't mean I won't be hard on you.  I have a parent who decided to walk away and not talk to me over some family drama.  I have moved heaven and earth to keep in touch with them.  Why?  Because I'd rather have SOME communication than none at all.  Because I'd rather deal with their controlling "you can only contact me at this time in this way and while I'm with these people" than have no contact at all.  With that said, I definitely don't judge people who go through years and years and years of dealing with a parent that neglects and treats them like garbage and then finally cut the cord until their parent can be a healthy human being.  My advice, though, is that you work toward remaining in their life, even if it's the smallest way possible.  Regret is a terrible thing and you don't want to think that you did everything you could to repair the relationship.

Severed sibling relationship  This is far more common than it should be.  Why?  Because children aren't raised with the concept of sibling relationship anymore.  There has been sibling rivalry since the dawn of time.  However, there has also been parents standing over those siblings telling them to "knock that shit off" because they're family.  It used to be that parents told their kids to be nice to their siblings because they will be all that's left after the parents are gone.  Now, it's an era of "step aside" parenting where parents just let the kids duke it out.  They don't demand that kind of respect between siblings.  It's absurd.  However, once you're an adult, if you cut a sibling out of your life because you're mad, you're the problem.  If you cut them out because of who they talk to or what they do (as long as it's not drug use or something toxic of the like) you are the problem.  In short, if you act like a selfish turd because it suits you, you're the problem.  You can rally the troops to hate your sibling and you will still be the problem.  Period.

Cutting out extended family This is a tough one.  Here's my take: If you have a toxic parent or sibling that is gathering an army of people to hate you, you have every right to walk away.  If that is not the case, you should at least attempt to stay in their lives in some way.  I don't care if it's just a Christmas card.  I don't care if it's an occasional visit or phone call.  You should try.  If THEY make the choice to walk away, then you have to respect that and move on.  My grandparents and cousins are some of the most important people in my life.  Do they irritate me at times?  Of course and I irritate them.  What I DON'T do is decide that irritation means no communication at all.  Why?  Because I believe in the concept of family.

Look, I understand that life is hard nowadays.  I get that things can be complicated.  What I can't grasp is why we've thrown away the concept of family completely.  We are not meant to be standoffish loners walking through life and those that are put in that situation, I am so utterly sorry for what you must endure.  We are not meant to throw away our children because it doesn't fit into our clever little mold of what we think life should look like.  We are not meant to impart drama and toxicity into our family to suit our entertainment needs.  And we are certainly not meant to rally the troops against each other to build a division.  Get it together and act right!

Vacation Dreams

For years, I felt guilty about the fact that I didn't take my kids on the dream Disney vacation.  I suppose, on some level, that it has to do with the fact that my parents took us to Disney every year for most of my childhood, even if it meant going broke to do so.  I suppose it's because so many people talk about their Disney vacations and how magical it really was.  I suppose it's because I know how much Disney works to completely envelope you in the amazing experience at their parks.

But I'm not willing to go broke for Disney.

Look, I don't think that people that embark on the journey are bad people.  If you can afford it and that's what floats your boat, fantastic! It's a great place to spend vacation time and get to truly enjoy the magic that it brings to every visitor that walks in the door.  For me, though, I'm more inclined to want to take my kids to see Mount Rushmore.  Instead of riding the Dumbo ride, I want my kids to ride a zipline that shows them incredible scenery or to see orcas swimming in the wild.  I want my kids to see the deserts and the oceans.  I want my kids to see the Grand Canyon and the bayou.  I want my kids to see everything there is to see.  Why?

Because, for me, I've decided that a vacation is more about the time spent and the life experience gained than the money spent.  It's more about seeing their faces in awe of the size of a mountain than it is in awe of a cartoon character.  It's more about seeing them climb a 14er than it is to wait in line for hours to ride Splash Mountain.  It's more about hearing them talk about gigantic corn fields in the Midwest than it is to hear them talk about the ghosts in the Haunted Mansion.  Are those theme park attractions awesome?  Of course!  But I want my kids to learn to respect nature and appreciate the beautiful country that we live in.

My dream vacation  has changed, I guess.  Instead of dreaming of going to all of the Disney parks, I'd rather take my kids on vacations to see every single state in our beautiful country.  I'd rather take them to see the sights and learn what makes this country so great.  I'd rather them see battlegrounds and landmarks.  I'd rather them learn about this amazing place that we live.

Now to be able to afford it.....

Review of Hammonds Candy Cane Festival

I took a little hiatus in order to deal with some personal stuff.  All is well on the shutterbug front....just very very busy.


Today I'll be discussing the 2015 Hammonds Candy Factory Annual Candy Cane Festival.  Hammonds is located at 5735 Washington St in Denver, CO.  Year-round, they offer free tours of the factory where you can actually watch candy being made.  On our spring/summer visit in 2012, we got to see candy ribbon being made.  On this particular visit, during the festival, they were already making Easter bunnies!!!  We also found out that most of the cotton candy that is distributed in grocery stores (even if it doesn't say Hammonds) is actually made in the Hammonds factory.  Hammonds personally packs and packages each package of candy instead of just having a conveyor belt and machine that does it all.  Every member of the staff I've met is fantastic, super sweet and very knowledgeable.

The Candy Cane Festival is held annually on a December weekend (Friday and Saturday) at the Hammonds Factory.  Admission is free and most of the festivities are included with that free admission.  This year, the only paid parts were professional pictures of Santa (if you wanted to take your own pictures, it was free) and the crafts tent.  Tickets were extremely reasonable ($2) to do the paid events.  Offered at no cost? Meeting Santa and Mrs Claus (which on Saturday included a large tasty Hammonds Candy Cane), bounce houses and slides, free cotton candy, free games that had toys or tasty rewards like Hammonds taffy, horse drawn carriage rides, free hot cocoa, trolley rides, mini tours of the factory and more!

As always, the staff was great.  They braved a very, very cold snowy day in order to make everyone's experiences great.  There were heat posts available to warm up and some of the activities were in tents to get a reprieve from the cold.  We got there very early on Saturday and the lines were virtually non-existent.  As we were getting ready to leave, some of the lines appeared long BUT moved very quickly.  For example, mini tours had a long line but people are let in to the touring area in groups so the line moved quickly forward.  The line for the carriage rides got a little long but a nice big group can fit on the carriage so the line moved quickly.  We didn't stand in line for anything for longer than 5-10 minutes.

The tasty treats offered as "samples" or prizes are second to none.  Hammonds candies are absolutely delicious.  I'm a big fan of the candy bars, particularly the one that has dark chocolate and mint (though these were not one of the items given away, they are very reasonably priced and well worth it).  The taffy and cotton candy are absolutely delicious and the candy canes are wonderful.  Even the hot cocoa was fantastic complete with a delicious homemade marshmallow and a peppermint stick stirring stick.  Hammonds definitely delivers on quality and taste!

The location is incredibly easy to find.  Take a quick jaunt off I-25 and you're there.  Admittedly, parking was a bit of a nightmare.  The parking lot of the factory holds the festival so most of the parking is reliant on surrounding businesses.  I saw one surrounding business charging $15 for parking which, I think, chased a few people off but rest assured, folks...most of the surrounding businesses don't gouge you like that.  I'd also like to point out that some of the festival staff was helping to direct traffic for parking.  I was snuggled into a tight spot and had someone actually come over and guide me out to make sure that I got out safely.  I heard people griping about the parking and would love to point out that when you attend a free event, there will be hiccups and you should be thankful to have just a weird parking situation as the only issue.  I might suggest parking down the road or across the street and just walking over to avoid the parking situation. 

Overall, I would completely recommend this festival! It's an incredible free event by an incredible, giving company.  We will definitely be attending again in the future. #HammondsCandies