Fun Friday Post

I'm going to cover a lot of area in this post so bear with me.  First of all, let's talk Broncos.  Champ Bailey was released this week from the Denver Broncos which I have very mixed feelings about.  Yes, he was an incredible player but I think he has reached the point at which it was more beneficial for us to let him go.  Sad?  Yes.  Clearly John Elway can move mountains when given the chance so I'm trusting him on this one....and hopefully on Decker.  Decker is a completely different story, though.  Admittedly, I'm biased as he is my favorite Bronco (though Welker is running a very close second) but I do think that taking a pay cut/staying at the same pay would be beneficial to both Decker and the Broncos.  He'd be on a Superbowl winning team in 2015 so the pay cut really would be a moot matter at that point.  Bottom line?  It is football season yet?
Now let's cover hockey.  My team fell last night to the Avalanche.  Am I sad?  Yes.  Here's the pros:  At least we lost in overtime, fought hard, and lost to a truly good team.  To the Avs (who I root for when they're NOT playing my team), you win this one.  I guess we're even for the season.  They truly deserved the win.  This year, they truly are the better team, in my opinion.

On to another topic, photography and how much I love it.  If there was a job that just allowed me to pack up my kids and travel to different destinations, photographing them, I'd be happy.  Editing at home with my crazies where I could still be with them.  Getting to be a stay at home mom even though I'd be working....phenomenal.  It's a dream that would truly have to be designed by God though.  Here are a few pictures from my trip to the zoo yesterday....

Lifestyle Changes

I recently decided to work with a friend and make some healthier choices for my life.  While I don't believe in diets (I believe in lifestyle changes), I am modifying my habits to be a healthier me.  There are a few things that I've looked at and said, "Nah, it won't make a difference" and (much to my disappointment), I realized that I've been costing myself my health by making some of the choices I've made.

1.  I stopped drinking soda.  That's not to say I won't indulge now and then but I stopped drinking it on a daily basis.  Immediately, I noticed the difference.  I won't say that I didn't guzzle water constantly to prevent a caffeine withdrawal headache but I was less tired in the afternoon (when I normally drink it), felt less icky, and was able to easily replace the sugars I normally use to balance my glucose level (as a hypoglycemic) with alternatives.

2.  I started eating salads for lunch.  I try to add a protein source to my salad every day (turkey, chicken, egg, etc) but I've been eating salad for lunch and even throwing in spinach (raw spinach = gag).  No, I don't use fat free, low-cal dressing but I've replaced a meal that used to be extremely carb-rich with something less fattening.

3.  I started working out again...even if I only get in 20 minutes...that's SOMETHING!  I'm not strict on myself for what or when as long as I do it.

4.  I take the cat nap if I need it.  10 minutes can make all of the difference.

I look forward to posting more on how the changes have affected the way I feel!

Role Models and Heroes...Not Idols

I was reading a blog post yesterday about the "dangers" of letting your kids see Disney child stars as a role model because a good portion of them go on to become "druggies, whores, and idiots."  While I admire the tenacity of the writer and while I believe that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, I fervently disagree with this on several different accounts.  I agree with the sentiment but I think that something is lost in translation when you make accusations like the above-quoted.  Instead of coming across as someone trying to give advice or make a general statement to better the world, you come across as a religious kook that is making a very general statement about a very specific group that stands only partially true to that group.  In short, you are saying that an entire apple tree is not just spoiled by a bad apple but that you shouldn't eat from any fruit trees in the orchard because one tree has bad apples.

Yes, Disney child stars have their negative attributes as adults.  Actually, that is a general statement: some Disney child stars go on to make really poor decisions and have really negative attributes.  Then again, a lot of child stars deal with this because they're thrust into a very unrealistic life at a very young age and spoiled by those around them.  Some of them are lucky enough to have family and friends that keep them grounded.  Others are not so fortunate.  However, saying that all Disney child stars turn into "druggies, whores, and idiots" is an unfair statement.  They make mistakes like a lot of people do when they're in their late teens and early twenties.  The only difference is that their lives are so highly publicized that every mistake they made is made into a front page article on how they're wrecking their lives.  I'm not condoning their behavior; they truly are make really poor choices sometimes.  However, their choices are not all that different from the choices that a healthy portion of America's youth make at those ages.  There's also the truth that these stars are not all making poor choices like this.  Some of them are actually making incredibly good choices for their lives but these choices aren't publicized because the American' public loves drama.

With all of that being said, I think that it is perfectly safe to allow your kids to look up to Disney stars as long as they understand that they're human.  Yes, that's right....even celebrities are human.  I don't think that kids should ever be taught or encouraged to idolize any celebrity based on how famous, pretty, or trendy they are.  I think that children should be encouraged to look deeper and realize that there are far more important qualities than physical appearance and popularity.  If they are looking up to someone, they should be looking up to people that serve the community, use their talents wisely, treat others with dignity and respect, and further their education in whatever fashion they choose.  There is nothing wrong with looking up to anyone that exhibits these qualities.  It teaches children about the important things in life instead of looking solely at appearance.

In terms of saying it's dangerous, that depends on your approach.  If you are encouraging your child to model themselves after anyone, it can turn dangerous very quickly.  People are human; they make mistakes.  Kids should be taught to use their talents and their positive attributes in a productive way instead of trying to do what a celebrity is doing.  They should be taught that everyone is an individual and everyone has unique abilities that would do wonders in the world.  It's not about modeling themselves after anyone; it's about realizing that they have a lot to offer to the world without ever having to try to be someone else.

So perhaps these bloggers need to stop criticizing how terrible these people are and look at how they're parenting their children.  Perhaps if they encourage their children not to have "idols" but to have real role models and heroes, they won't find it necessary to pick apart those in the public eye quite as much.

Happy Birthday Syd

I think someone was happy to get her electric guitar for her birthday!

 

Can't believe she's 8....where the heck did the time go?

By the Time You Have Your Fourth Child....

My grandmother told me that by the time I got around to my fourth child hitting certain milestones, I'd probably handle it very differently out of knowledge, experience, and...well out of exhaustion.  She couldn't have been more right.  I think that there are certain things that you just don't understand, as a parent, unless you have three or more children in close age proximity.  So as a salute to moms of three or more, here is my list of things that stand true with a large family.

By the Time You Have Your Third, Fourth or Fifth Child...
*If you have more than five, God bless you on your journey...Ha ha ha

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you worry less about whether or not they got bathed at 7:00 every single night and worry more about the fact that they got bathed when they were dirty or smelled.  You don't make excuses for why your child newborn hasn't been bathed in two days; you recognize that she's a newborn...how dirty could she possibly get in two days.  You're often inclined to do the "no-funny-business" bath time (instead of the 20 minutes of designated play time you made sure to enact with your first one) and are equally as happy to use a wet washcloth or even a baby wipe to complete the task if a real bath isn't necessary.  You are also not opposed to throwing two, three or even four kids in the tub at once if it means getting your job done more expeditiously.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you've given up on tediously stain sticking every single item of clothing.  You realize that "spit happens" and understand that your baby is not the only one at the day care with formula stains.  You realize that it's not nearly as important to worry about every little stain being scrubbed pre-wash as it is to get the laundry done at all.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you've given up on keeping up with all of the housework all of the time.  You understand that it's significantly more important to have a happy, cluttered house than a spotless house with neglected children.  You understand that naptime cleaning can only do so much and you do your best with the time that you have.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you understand that your bathroom habits are no longer your own.  Not only can you not have a moment of peace in the bathroom but your bathroom habits will now be broadcast for all to see.  You might even stop closing the door to the bathroom with the understanding that the kids are going to open it anyway.  At the very least, you anticipate that the moment you sit down to pee, your kids are going to need to ask you something important....like whether or not turtles have ears.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, they can sleep damn near anywhere.  You have long since given up on them sleeping in a crib or play pen.  You have given up on the theory that you don't want to have them nap on you or on the floor.  Instead, you're just happy that they're napping and sleeping at all.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you understand that sometimes sweets and junk food are a necessary evil.  You can limit it in your home but they are going to get invited to parties and drink soda..and it's not the end of the world.  Your child will not melt into a puddle from enjoying the occasional McDonald's French fry.  You are no longer opposed to the idea that sweets can be used as bribery, if necessary.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, the phrase "this is not a restaurant" becomes standard in your household.  When your first child looks at you in disgust, you find creative ways to hide the veggies in their food, give them creative dips to dip it in, and read up on how you are supposed to get them to eat.  By number four, you've given up and just say "Eat it because I said so."

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you're used to the phrase "Are they all yours?" when you're out in public.  If your sense of humor is like mine, you're used to it to the point that you have your own creative responses.  Observe...."Are they all yours?"  "What do you mean all"  I only came in here with one....where the heck did these ones come from?" 

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you've given up on looking like the put-together mom all of the time.  You're just as happy rockin your ponytail and yoga pants to drop the kids off at school as you are to have that peaceful ten minutes in between their bedtime and yours.  It's fun to get dressed up once in awhile but you understand that you don't have to look like executive Barbie every time you step out of the door.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you're a multitasking extraordinaire.  You can comfort a crying toddler while nursing a newborn, coloring with your  preschooler and practicing spelling words with your school aged child.  You laugh mockingly at the idea of not carrying in all the groceries at once with the diaper bag, your purse, AND the ice creams  you bought to bribe the kids to behave in the grocery store while you figured out the unit price and whether or not the coupons were worth it.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you have accepted that that you are destined to no longer carry purse until everyone is out of diapers.  You are also no longer destined to have the sweet little diaper bags moms of one (or even two) have the privilege of carrying.  You throw your wallet into your suitcase sized diaper bag by the "emergency rations" of granola bars and fruit snacks and call it a day.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you have trained your kids on holding your hand in parking lots and behaving while you unload the baby.  You don't need "safe spots" on your car because your kids know that you mean business when you say to stand RIGHT HERE while you get the baby out of the car.  They know better than to run off in stores because your level of nonsense acceptance when it comes to these things has become less and less with each child.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, unsolicited parenting advice deflects off of you like it's a superpower.  Not only do you not have time for it but you've also realized and own the fact that your instincts are stronger and better than any book and you know your children better than some teeny bopper psych student with no children.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you accept that there are certain things you can't force a child to do....like potty train before they're ready.  You can sit and obsess over the fact that your toddler is still waddling around in a diaper or you can concentrate on the fact that he happily eats everything including hummus and speaks in full sentences that most adults can't put together anymore.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you've learned the ropes on tantrums...and by "the ropes", I mean that all children throw tantrums at some point.  Some are more dramatic and loud while others are more quiet and mellow but they all do it.  Acknowledging it has become so run-of-the-mill to you that when your youngest starts one, you know exactly what to do...or not do...which is to try to reason with them

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you realize that while children are actual little people, they are sometimes not ones that can be reasoned with.  Even more importantly, you understand that there are times that you shouldn't have to reason with them.  No means no.  I'm the mom.  Period.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you realize that the Mother's Curse is a real thing.  "I hope you have a child just like you" becomes not just what you live, but also what you inflict on your child...that is exactly like you.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you realize that you don't divide your love with an increased amount of children.  Your love simply multiplies....and you don't need a reason or explanation of how this happens because you're busy handling your four children.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you've given up on a spotless little sedan.  You now drive a minivan, a mom-mobile, complete with French fries stuffed in the seats and crayons melted in the cup holders.  You don't feel bad about your mom-mobile; you embrace it because you have enough trunk/storage space to haul around a body, like the body of the next person who mocks your mom-mobile.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you've given up on the concept that your children will "never" do something....like watch more than a half hour of TV a week...or run around naked singing the theme from "Dora the Explorer" while you try to cook a balanced meal.  You've learned to pick your battles.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you come to the conclusion that not everything in life can be equal but there are priorities in equality.  Priorities might include portions of dessert, number of Easter eggs collected, or who gets to take the Box Tops to their class.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you are so used to the phrase "that's not fair" that you no longer even acknowledge it.  Your oldest will likely complain that the younger kids get to do something or get away with something.   Your youngest will complain that they don't get the same privileges as the oldest.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, your organizational skills are comparable to professional organizers.  You can pack an entire nursery into a diaper bag, pack nutritious balanced lunches in under 10 minutes, and still manage to get everyone out the door on time.  It's survival of the fittest and you're at the top of the food chain.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you've accepted that the world will not end if the Barbies end up in the same bin as the Legos.  You have given up the battle to make sure that the Barbies are clean and well-groomed and the floor where your little girl plays often looks like a naked Barbie Woodstock where everyone forgot to brush their hair.....for months.

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you know that scheduling a child constantly is feasible with one...maybe even two.  Once you hit numbers three and four, you make them pick and choose.  You can't be in twelve places at once and your child will not perish if he's not in swimming and soccer and  karate and playgroup and at every week's library story time.

and finally....

BY THE TIME YOU HAVE YOUR FOURTH CHILD, you realize that you're doing a good job even if you have days where you want to pull your hair out.  Scratch that...not "if"..."when".  You hold it together and you kick butt and take names because you are Super Mom....now where the heck is the peanut butter, you have lunches to make

Sisters Shoot....Welcome to the World Baby M

Why Our Generation Needs to Look Back and Learn

"Those that don't learn history are doomed to repeat it."

While I do love to brag on the fact that our generation is not the worst generation on the map, I definitely think our generation has a case of forgetfulness when it comes to generations past.  Maybe it's the idea that they want to parent better than previous generations, as all generations strive to do.  Maybe it's the concept that the world is changing and we need to change with it.  There are a million options but my guess is that most of it is due to too many books, studies, and media outlets  on how you should and shouldn't parent.

Here's where I stand on this:

1.  Studies are a great source of information and knowledge is power but remember that, ultimately, these studies can be very lopsided and short-sighted.  There are a whole host of studies that "find" some terrible truth and then ten years later, the study is discounted.  Instead of just changing your entire outlook on something because of one study, use that study as a jumping off point to learn more, fully educate yourself through multiple sources (including reading those with studies that disagree with the jumping off study) and make an educated decision based on that.  What's best for you or your family might not be best for everyone.

2.  Books, magazine articles and other written information are great sources of information, as well.  In fact, I am a very big advocate for reading as much and about as many different topics as possible.  The more you know, the more you can form truly well-thought-out opinions on important issues in your life.  That's not to say that your opinion may not change with age, new information, or life experience; which brings me to my next point in this.  Do you want to know why our parents did things the way that they did?  I'll give you a hint....it involves accessibility.  There weren't nearly as many books and articles telling us what we should do, what we shouldn't do and how we're "harming our kids."  Ironically, the kids that are being raised now have an entitlement crisis, don't know how to deal with their emotions and are numb to society's most pivotal events because they've been exposed to far too many things too young.  (Yes that is a generalization; not all kids are like this).  There are so many opinions thrown at parents now that we seem to forget how powerful instincts truly are.

3.  The Media...ugh.  I have very mixed feelings on the media.  On the one hand, there's the accessibility of being able to learn new things, have a few minutes of quiet and see how the other half lives.  On the other hand, there's the accessibility that seems to haunt people about how they're living now.  It seems to give a lot of us the idea that our lives are somehow less wonderful because we're not living in a mansion with a pool, walking the red carpet or because we can't afford to buy our newborn $1000 swaddling blankets. The Media has a funny way of convincing us that we have to be like what we're watching; we have to have what we're seeing.  The truth is that the less you expose yourself to that torture, the happier you'll end up being.  Remember, the grass may be greener on the other side, but it still needs to be tended to.

Now, with all of that said, I stand firmly on the fact that our generation needs to look back and learn.  Our parents may not have been perfect but neither are we.  Trying to live your life around every study, book or "parenting method" will make your life miserable.  Use your instincts and just love your kids.  Don't worry if your child is keeping up with other kids...he or she will progress at their pace.  Don't worry if they're too big, small, chubby, thin (unless it's excessive and truly worrisome) or any other quality; your child is exactly the way they're meant to be and they'll change and grow at their pace.  Don't worry if they're not reading before kindergarten, speaking in sentences by age two, or socializing four times a week with their peers.  Believe it or not, they'll turn out fine.  Use your instincts and just love the crap out of them and they'll turn into happy, productive children.