I'm relatively certain that most 20+ year old people in this country have heard the phrase...."Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." It's as true today as the first time that I heard it. In fact, life experience makes it more true all of the time. However, I am of the mind that there is such a thing as tact and that exercising it is an important part of being a productive member of society. Here is my perspective....
Your opinions on things, when based on actual thought and education on the topic (as opposed to just going along with what others have to say) are part of what makes you a unique individual. When you expand your mind and educate yourself about the world, people, and everything else, you are opening yourself up to the possibilities. It's important to have opinions and viewpoints because it helps define you as an individual.
Debating opinions is healthy. In fact, it's another way to educate yourself. After all, how can you argue your perspective effectively if you don't know anything about the other side of the argument? When done in a healthy manner, debate is good for the heart, soul and mind. There are no physical attacks and words like "dumb" don't have to be used to describe things. Saying that someone's opinion is dumb is an indication that you believe that they like dumb things which, in essence, makes them dumb. It's not a nice word, period.
The fact is that too many people don't exercise tact when they debate issues. You remember tact right? It's the ability to express your opinion in a way that doesn't offend intentionally. There will always be someone that is offended by your opinion. The fact is that people define themselves wholeheartedly by their opinions sometimes, especially when it involves politics, religion or love. Overall, though, people have the ability to exercise tact. They choose not to.
Look, it doesn't make you a billy badass to call someone else's opinions or ideas "dumb" or "stupid" or "ridiculous." It doesn't make you "honest" or "straight forward" or "blunt." What it makes you is an asshole. You don't look stronger or more educated when you do this. You look like an idiot that is not confident enough of their opinion to support it with real evidence. If you have to verbally assault someone's opinion (or, worse yet, the person themselves), it means that you haven't educated yourself enough to back your thought process up. Now who's the idiot?
I guess what it boils down to is the fact that too many people get off on walking around feeling like they need to just spew their verbal diarrhea on everyone all of the time. They take pride in being a bitch (or an asshole) and they own the word like it's something to be searched for. There was a time when it was considered a good thing to be able to keep your opinion to yourself unless the situation called for it. It seems that our current world actually supports you throwing it out there, even when it's unnecessary. I can't see how that is a healthy way to live. Never practicing self-control is a dangerous thing.
The moral of my little rant is that there is a time and a place for expressing your opinion in a healthy way. It is not when a person is trying to be positive and spread the love. It is not when a person is mourning. Keep your verbal run-ons where they belong and try to practice just a little of what your parents probably taught you....a little thing called TACT!
End of rant.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Checking in
I've taken a bit of a break from blogging in the understanding that I don't need to make it an every day thing unless I have the time. In short, I don't need to stress myself out over blogging. The day that someone offers me a paid blogging "job" is the day I need to focus all of my attention on this.
One of the great things I've been working on is getting my house in order. I moved furniture last weekend and this weekend. The girls room and the boys' rooms got switched and my bedroom is FINALLY set up the way I like it. This past weekend was a hunt for a great new chair for the living room so we can give away the chairs that we've been wanting to get rid of. I found a great cushy, squishy chair for $15 at Arc and it's delightful. I'm definitely getting a feel for what I want to keep an eye out for.
My next big thing is my garden. I finally transplanted and I've been babying the shit out of what I put in the ground. Yes, it's a pain in the butt to figure out what each plant needs but it's so worth it to see it growing and thriving. I've become a bit of an addict. Every time I'm at Lowe's, I'm wandering through the plant section finding things to "rescue" from the clearance rack...cutting them back, babying them and watching them thrive.
I've also been focusing on refinishing the rocking chair I started awhile back. I've been working on it for my little diva and finally got on the ball and got it most of the way sanded this weekend. I still need to go over it one more time with a finer grain sand paper but it's a move in the right direction.
Finally, I've just been having fun...jet skis, lake beaches and just relaxing with the fam. We broke out the Nintendo 64 last night for some Pac Man. We've had movie nights outside. It's just been a nice relaxing time.
One of the great things I've been working on is getting my house in order. I moved furniture last weekend and this weekend. The girls room and the boys' rooms got switched and my bedroom is FINALLY set up the way I like it. This past weekend was a hunt for a great new chair for the living room so we can give away the chairs that we've been wanting to get rid of. I found a great cushy, squishy chair for $15 at Arc and it's delightful. I'm definitely getting a feel for what I want to keep an eye out for.
My next big thing is my garden. I finally transplanted and I've been babying the shit out of what I put in the ground. Yes, it's a pain in the butt to figure out what each plant needs but it's so worth it to see it growing and thriving. I've become a bit of an addict. Every time I'm at Lowe's, I'm wandering through the plant section finding things to "rescue" from the clearance rack...cutting them back, babying them and watching them thrive.
I've also been focusing on refinishing the rocking chair I started awhile back. I've been working on it for my little diva and finally got on the ball and got it most of the way sanded this weekend. I still need to go over it one more time with a finer grain sand paper but it's a move in the right direction.
Finally, I've just been having fun...jet skis, lake beaches and just relaxing with the fam. We broke out the Nintendo 64 last night for some Pac Man. We've had movie nights outside. It's just been a nice relaxing time.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Review of the Gord Bamford show at the PACE Center
I'm a little behind on my posts. It's been a busy couple of weeks. This one kind of made priority though....
As an avid music fan, I like nearly all kinds of music so when I had an opportunity to go see a new artist play, I was all about it. On Tuesday the 24th, I was given the opportunity to see Gord Bamford play. Gord is a Canadian artist that has been winning awards like crazy in his country and is doing concert dates here now too. So here are my thoughts on my night out....
First off, Gord is an incredible artist. He's incredibly talented, has a fantastic stage presence and makes the atmosphere at his shows very fun and inviting. Several of his songs became quick favorites for me. His band is incredible as well.....very talented and great stage presence. I was very, very impressed. I'd definitely go to another Gord Bamford show.
The venue, the PACE Center in Parker, was a great venue. It was clean, well laid out and the staff was very polite and helpful. I don't think there was a bad seat in the house and the seating provided ample leg space and drink holders. My favorite feature is that I was allowed to get a drink and bring it with me to enjoy the show. Parking was also great.
In closing....check out Gord Bamford's music on Youtube and see what you think. I'm a new fan and you might end up a fan too.
As an avid music fan, I like nearly all kinds of music so when I had an opportunity to go see a new artist play, I was all about it. On Tuesday the 24th, I was given the opportunity to see Gord Bamford play. Gord is a Canadian artist that has been winning awards like crazy in his country and is doing concert dates here now too. So here are my thoughts on my night out....
First off, Gord is an incredible artist. He's incredibly talented, has a fantastic stage presence and makes the atmosphere at his shows very fun and inviting. Several of his songs became quick favorites for me. His band is incredible as well.....very talented and great stage presence. I was very, very impressed. I'd definitely go to another Gord Bamford show.
The venue, the PACE Center in Parker, was a great venue. It was clean, well laid out and the staff was very polite and helpful. I don't think there was a bad seat in the house and the seating provided ample leg space and drink holders. My favorite feature is that I was allowed to get a drink and bring it with me to enjoy the show. Parking was also great.
In closing....check out Gord Bamford's music on Youtube and see what you think. I'm a new fan and you might end up a fan too.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Ethics and such
I'm kind of passionate when it comes to business ethics. I have a tendency to be a bit over-zealous, to some extent. While I am all about the understanding that business is business, I do believe that there are certain approaches and standards that make a business TRULY about the consumer and not about being a jerk. I stand by the viewpoint that it is perfectly fine if you're a douchebag in your business but be honest about it. Be up front that you're a douchebag and it'll all even out. Sometimes that's what people want...no nonsense. Here are some of my business do's and don'ts (and no, I'm not an expert, just a mama with an opinion).
Loyalty I think this is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Don't jump ship to save 3% of what you're spending if a business has loyally been good to you. I'm sorry but you get what you pay for and if you jump ship to save $5, you're likely going to end up unhappy and guess what....that corporation you switched to isn't going to care about your happiness. They care about money. If someone you've religiously used for charity events for their services gives you a fair price on something, TAKE IT! Don't jump ship to get it free or lower priced elsewhere because guess what...you're going to end up unhappy and it's not gonna matter to the new person whether or not you're unhappy. There are a lot of people that want to suck at the corporate teat and the fact is that loyalty goes a long way both to the customers (giving them a fair price and a great service/product) and to the business person.
Profits...Don't be selfish Yes, you might be able to sell that outfit you made for $50 but unless you spent a ridiculous amount making it, you shouldn't be marking up the prices ridiculously just because you can. I hear it said constantly with photography that you need to figure in the time it takes to edit which is DEFINITELY true. With that being said, there are a whole lot of selfish photographers out there that just want to make more than it's worth. I'm a big believer when it comes to family photography that you are creating people's memories and they have the right to own them at reasonable prices. I can't STAND jerks that overcharge for products and services.
Honesty Don't make all your ideas into tiny print. Be up front. If you're building tables and someone orders a custom order oak table and another orders custom order cedar, there will obviously be a price difference in material. Don't put it in the tiny print that everyone pays the same amount just because. Don't tell them that they can have the table at a certain price but only if they buy four chairs at regular price. Don't mark up your prices just to have a sale so they LOOK lower! Honesty goes a long way and people know when they're being messed with.
and finally....
Recommendations As a consumer, the best thing you can do, particularly for small businesses and individuals, is to recommend them so that they can get more customers. True honest business people will see it as a reason to give you an even better deal next time. They will also see it as a way to keep their prices down. I'd much rather do 50 $75-sessions than 3 $150-sessions.
In short, this concept is simple, don't be a douche!
Loyalty I think this is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Don't jump ship to save 3% of what you're spending if a business has loyally been good to you. I'm sorry but you get what you pay for and if you jump ship to save $5, you're likely going to end up unhappy and guess what....that corporation you switched to isn't going to care about your happiness. They care about money. If someone you've religiously used for charity events for their services gives you a fair price on something, TAKE IT! Don't jump ship to get it free or lower priced elsewhere because guess what...you're going to end up unhappy and it's not gonna matter to the new person whether or not you're unhappy. There are a lot of people that want to suck at the corporate teat and the fact is that loyalty goes a long way both to the customers (giving them a fair price and a great service/product) and to the business person.
Profits...Don't be selfish Yes, you might be able to sell that outfit you made for $50 but unless you spent a ridiculous amount making it, you shouldn't be marking up the prices ridiculously just because you can. I hear it said constantly with photography that you need to figure in the time it takes to edit which is DEFINITELY true. With that being said, there are a whole lot of selfish photographers out there that just want to make more than it's worth. I'm a big believer when it comes to family photography that you are creating people's memories and they have the right to own them at reasonable prices. I can't STAND jerks that overcharge for products and services.
Honesty Don't make all your ideas into tiny print. Be up front. If you're building tables and someone orders a custom order oak table and another orders custom order cedar, there will obviously be a price difference in material. Don't put it in the tiny print that everyone pays the same amount just because. Don't tell them that they can have the table at a certain price but only if they buy four chairs at regular price. Don't mark up your prices just to have a sale so they LOOK lower! Honesty goes a long way and people know when they're being messed with.
and finally....
Recommendations As a consumer, the best thing you can do, particularly for small businesses and individuals, is to recommend them so that they can get more customers. True honest business people will see it as a reason to give you an even better deal next time. They will also see it as a way to keep their prices down. I'd much rather do 50 $75-sessions than 3 $150-sessions.
In short, this concept is simple, don't be a douche!
Thursday, June 19, 2014
What they DON'T tell you about pregnancy
Everyone LOVES to tell you all of the wonderful things about being pregnant. I was not one of those magically delighted, glowing women. I hated being pregnant. I hated it from beginning to end. I loved the baby from the minute I knew but I absolutely HATED being pregnant. Go ahead...judge me. Here are some of the crap pregnant women often have to deal with....
Hemorrhoids Yup, I said it. They pop up during pregnancy and they pop up during labor. You don't always get them but if you do...yeah, it's not pleasant. Apologies to the pregos that don't wanna hear it. It's a real possibility. Brace yourself.
"Oh my Gawd, you're HUGE!" As if you didn't know. Yes you're huge, you're pregnant. That's your job.
Eating for two isn't considered the norm anymore Sorry ladies. You don't get the free ride that women in the past have gotten. It's now highly publicized that you should increase your calorie count but not double it. My opinion? Eat like a pregnant woman and tell the doctor to shove it (with the exception being eating to an unhealthy level).
Every celebrity on the planet that is pregnant at the same time will make you feel like a blimp There is so much focus on "keeping fit" during pregnancy that pregnant women are under enormous pressure to stay a certain weight or keep up a certain routine.
You will throw up like a college freshman at his first kegger Not everyone gets morning sickness but I was sick for months upon months......all day long......well past the first trimester.
Your boobs will be fabulous! They're never better than when you're pregnant (unless you have a boob job done). They will be big and full and wonderful.----but they're gonna go away so enjoy them now.
Congratulations! You've become the home of a volcano in your throat Acid reflux is TERRIBLE when you're pregnant, especially in the last trimester when everything is getting squeezed. Ugh!
You'll cry at tissue commercials Yes ladies, even unemotional women get emotional, some more than others. I always say that IN GENERAL (not always) pregnancies with girls mean you're more emotional while pregnancy with boys makes you mean.
For most of your pregnancy, you'll feel like you pulled an all-nighter You'll be exhausted and I don't just mean a little sleepy. I mean you'll feel like you haven't slept in weeks.
Glucose tests = Gag fest That orange liquid they make you drink....gag! So gross (Ask if you can sub jelly beans instead. I hated the orange liquid and told them I'd refuse the test if they didn't let me sub something in....I subbed in jelly beans)
Everyone will tell you their labor story Every woman on the planet will feel a tie to you and want you know just how painful their labor was....because you aren't anxious enough.
People will regularly invade your personal space bubble Perfect strangers will touch your stomach and feel like it's their right. It's a fact. People don't care.
and finally.....
You WILL be ostracized for admitting that you're miserable, especially by those who have suffered losses I personally have had more than one miscarriage and I get the concept of why it cuts so deep to women who have fertility issues but be prepared...people will give you crap for admitting that you're miserable. My opinion? You are still a person and shouldn't worry so much about people's opinions...if you're tired or sick, say so.
While the outcome of pregnancy is fantastic, the pregnancy itself is not a blast (at least it wasn't for me). Enjoy the moments that you can (especially the second trimester) and remember it'll all be over soon. And PLEASE don't hate me when you're at the end of your pregnancy saying, "God, I just want her to come OUT already!?!" and I look a you and say, "She'll come when she's ready."
Hemorrhoids Yup, I said it. They pop up during pregnancy and they pop up during labor. You don't always get them but if you do...yeah, it's not pleasant. Apologies to the pregos that don't wanna hear it. It's a real possibility. Brace yourself.
"Oh my Gawd, you're HUGE!" As if you didn't know. Yes you're huge, you're pregnant. That's your job.
Eating for two isn't considered the norm anymore Sorry ladies. You don't get the free ride that women in the past have gotten. It's now highly publicized that you should increase your calorie count but not double it. My opinion? Eat like a pregnant woman and tell the doctor to shove it (with the exception being eating to an unhealthy level).
Every celebrity on the planet that is pregnant at the same time will make you feel like a blimp There is so much focus on "keeping fit" during pregnancy that pregnant women are under enormous pressure to stay a certain weight or keep up a certain routine.
You will throw up like a college freshman at his first kegger Not everyone gets morning sickness but I was sick for months upon months......all day long......well past the first trimester.
Your boobs will be fabulous! They're never better than when you're pregnant (unless you have a boob job done). They will be big and full and wonderful.----but they're gonna go away so enjoy them now.
Congratulations! You've become the home of a volcano in your throat Acid reflux is TERRIBLE when you're pregnant, especially in the last trimester when everything is getting squeezed. Ugh!
You'll cry at tissue commercials Yes ladies, even unemotional women get emotional, some more than others. I always say that IN GENERAL (not always) pregnancies with girls mean you're more emotional while pregnancy with boys makes you mean.
For most of your pregnancy, you'll feel like you pulled an all-nighter You'll be exhausted and I don't just mean a little sleepy. I mean you'll feel like you haven't slept in weeks.
Glucose tests = Gag fest That orange liquid they make you drink....gag! So gross (Ask if you can sub jelly beans instead. I hated the orange liquid and told them I'd refuse the test if they didn't let me sub something in....I subbed in jelly beans)
Everyone will tell you their labor story Every woman on the planet will feel a tie to you and want you know just how painful their labor was....because you aren't anxious enough.
People will regularly invade your personal space bubble Perfect strangers will touch your stomach and feel like it's their right. It's a fact. People don't care.
and finally.....
You WILL be ostracized for admitting that you're miserable, especially by those who have suffered losses I personally have had more than one miscarriage and I get the concept of why it cuts so deep to women who have fertility issues but be prepared...people will give you crap for admitting that you're miserable. My opinion? You are still a person and shouldn't worry so much about people's opinions...if you're tired or sick, say so.
While the outcome of pregnancy is fantastic, the pregnancy itself is not a blast (at least it wasn't for me). Enjoy the moments that you can (especially the second trimester) and remember it'll all be over soon. And PLEASE don't hate me when you're at the end of your pregnancy saying, "God, I just want her to come OUT already!?!" and I look a you and say, "She'll come when she's ready."
Monday, June 16, 2014
How People Behave
Forgive the gap in timing but I took the weekend off to celebrate Father's Day and to relax with the family; something that needed to get done.
Amongst other things, I'm pondering how big of a role different factors play in how a person behaves. I have always been a big believer that what you name your child (and whether or not they use a nickname or how the nickname is spelled) make a huge difference in how they behave. I have a tendency to believe that people live up to their names. I honestly believe this goes back to Biblical times. Think how much thought people put into names back then and how their names were factors in how they were treated and how they behaved. This theory is solely based on my personal experiences and I get a lot of eye rolls over it but it's true.
I also believe that environment affects how people behave. This seems to be an obvious factor, though I believe that some factors are bigger than others. Yes, whether or not they're raised by a single parent can be a factor but I honestly believe that the bigger part of that factor is how the single parent behaves. If the parent plays the victim and constantly gripes about their life, of course the child will adapt that same attitude. If the parent constantly rides them, of course they develop an attitude of perfectionism. Environment is certainly a big factor.
I believe that experiences affect how people behave. Again, this is a given.
I believe that when you are born affects how you behave. This applies in a couple of ways. First of all, birth order makes a BIG determination in some of your personality traits. Secondly, I honestly believe that your astrological sign is a big factor. I believe that MOST people live wholeheartedly up to their astrological signs whether they want to admit it or not. Some fight it because they see it negatively but the reality is that embracing it and learning to develop healthy ways to deal with your quirks is far more important than denying them.
Finally, I believe that circumstance affects how a person behaves. If they're in the midst of a trial, they are going to behave in a certain manner. If they're experiencing a highly successful period, it's another.
While none of this is truly proven scientific fact, it's definitely something to consider when dealing with people. Research these factors and you can find effective ways to deal with them.
Amongst other things, I'm pondering how big of a role different factors play in how a person behaves. I have always been a big believer that what you name your child (and whether or not they use a nickname or how the nickname is spelled) make a huge difference in how they behave. I have a tendency to believe that people live up to their names. I honestly believe this goes back to Biblical times. Think how much thought people put into names back then and how their names were factors in how they were treated and how they behaved. This theory is solely based on my personal experiences and I get a lot of eye rolls over it but it's true.
I also believe that environment affects how people behave. This seems to be an obvious factor, though I believe that some factors are bigger than others. Yes, whether or not they're raised by a single parent can be a factor but I honestly believe that the bigger part of that factor is how the single parent behaves. If the parent plays the victim and constantly gripes about their life, of course the child will adapt that same attitude. If the parent constantly rides them, of course they develop an attitude of perfectionism. Environment is certainly a big factor.
I believe that experiences affect how people behave. Again, this is a given.
I believe that when you are born affects how you behave. This applies in a couple of ways. First of all, birth order makes a BIG determination in some of your personality traits. Secondly, I honestly believe that your astrological sign is a big factor. I believe that MOST people live wholeheartedly up to their astrological signs whether they want to admit it or not. Some fight it because they see it negatively but the reality is that embracing it and learning to develop healthy ways to deal with your quirks is far more important than denying them.
Finally, I believe that circumstance affects how a person behaves. If they're in the midst of a trial, they are going to behave in a certain manner. If they're experiencing a highly successful period, it's another.
While none of this is truly proven scientific fact, it's definitely something to consider when dealing with people. Research these factors and you can find effective ways to deal with them.
Friday, June 13, 2014
It's Not Selfish To Have "Me" Time
I was recently given a whole lot of crap for saying that I take "me time" every morning. I actually get up early so I can shower and then sit and sip coffee and read the news uninterrupted. When someone wakes up, I will tell them that this is "Mommy time" so they can read quietly for a half hour. (Obviously this are exceptions to every rule). I was told that this is selfish and that "once you're a mom, you give that up."
Here is where my problem lies with this theory....
A well balanced life makes all of the difference. Yes, as a parent it is ALWAYS about your kids. Kids are the priority and making certain that they are cared for and nurtured IS the most important thing you can do for them. I scarcely ever buy things for myself. I scarcely ever take time from them...THEY are my priority and that's how it should be.
With that being said, children will benefit the most from a healthy parent. That means that the parent gets time to themselves to regroup. It means that if it's a two parent household (of whatever variety), the parents get time as a couple. There is nothing selfish or wrong about taking a half hour to yourself. There's nothing selfish or wrong about getting a babysitter and spending a few hours or a day to yourself. You are not a bad parent for being human. Human beings need time to recharge. Everyone does it differently but it needs to be done and it's all about balance.
Parents, take time to chill.
To the parents who are criticizing (seems to be more prevalent in moms than dads), take a look at your own life. Instead of focusing on the finger pointing at someone else, look at the other four pointing back at you. Instead of picking each other apart, let's find a way to support each other despite our differences in approach. The ultimate goal is the outcome of productive, happy people going out into our world! Let's focus on THAT!
Here is where my problem lies with this theory....
A well balanced life makes all of the difference. Yes, as a parent it is ALWAYS about your kids. Kids are the priority and making certain that they are cared for and nurtured IS the most important thing you can do for them. I scarcely ever buy things for myself. I scarcely ever take time from them...THEY are my priority and that's how it should be.
With that being said, children will benefit the most from a healthy parent. That means that the parent gets time to themselves to regroup. It means that if it's a two parent household (of whatever variety), the parents get time as a couple. There is nothing selfish or wrong about taking a half hour to yourself. There's nothing selfish or wrong about getting a babysitter and spending a few hours or a day to yourself. You are not a bad parent for being human. Human beings need time to recharge. Everyone does it differently but it needs to be done and it's all about balance.
Parents, take time to chill.
To the parents who are criticizing (seems to be more prevalent in moms than dads), take a look at your own life. Instead of focusing on the finger pointing at someone else, look at the other four pointing back at you. Instead of picking each other apart, let's find a way to support each other despite our differences in approach. The ultimate goal is the outcome of productive, happy people going out into our world! Let's focus on THAT!
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