Everyone LOVES to tell you all of the wonderful things about being pregnant. I was not one of those magically delighted, glowing women. I hated being pregnant. I hated it from beginning to end. I loved the baby from the minute I knew but I absolutely HATED being pregnant. Go ahead...judge me. Here are some of the crap pregnant women often have to deal with....
Hemorrhoids Yup, I said it. They pop up during pregnancy and they pop up during labor. You don't always get them but if you do...yeah, it's not pleasant. Apologies to the pregos that don't wanna hear it. It's a real possibility. Brace yourself.
"Oh my Gawd, you're HUGE!" As if you didn't know. Yes you're huge, you're pregnant. That's your job.
Eating for two isn't considered the norm anymore Sorry ladies. You don't get the free ride that women in the past have gotten. It's now highly publicized that you should increase your calorie count but not double it. My opinion? Eat like a pregnant woman and tell the doctor to shove it (with the exception being eating to an unhealthy level).
Every celebrity on the planet that is pregnant at the same time will make you feel like a blimp There is so much focus on "keeping fit" during pregnancy that pregnant women are under enormous pressure to stay a certain weight or keep up a certain routine.
You will throw up like a college freshman at his first kegger Not everyone gets morning sickness but I was sick for months upon months......all day long......well past the first trimester.
Your boobs will be fabulous! They're never better than when you're pregnant (unless you have a boob job done). They will be big and full and wonderful.----but they're gonna go away so enjoy them now.
Congratulations! You've become the home of a volcano in your throat Acid reflux is TERRIBLE when you're pregnant, especially in the last trimester when everything is getting squeezed. Ugh!
You'll cry at tissue commercials Yes ladies, even unemotional women get emotional, some more than others. I always say that IN GENERAL (not always) pregnancies with girls mean you're more emotional while pregnancy with boys makes you mean.
For most of your pregnancy, you'll feel like you pulled an all-nighter You'll be exhausted and I don't just mean a little sleepy. I mean you'll feel like you haven't slept in weeks.
Glucose tests = Gag fest That orange liquid they make you drink....gag! So gross (Ask if you can sub jelly beans instead. I hated the orange liquid and told them I'd refuse the test if they didn't let me sub something in....I subbed in jelly beans)
Everyone will tell you their labor story Every woman on the planet will feel a tie to you and want you know just how painful their labor was....because you aren't anxious enough.
People will regularly invade your personal space bubble Perfect strangers will touch your stomach and feel like it's their right. It's a fact. People don't care.
and finally.....
You WILL be ostracized for admitting that you're miserable, especially by those who have suffered losses I personally have had more than one miscarriage and I get the concept of why it cuts so deep to women who have fertility issues but be prepared...people will give you crap for admitting that you're miserable. My opinion? You are still a person and shouldn't worry so much about people's opinions...if you're tired or sick, say so.
While the outcome of pregnancy is fantastic, the pregnancy itself is not a blast (at least it wasn't for me). Enjoy the moments that you can (especially the second trimester) and remember it'll all be over soon. And PLEASE don't hate me when you're at the end of your pregnancy saying, "God, I just want her to come OUT already!?!" and I look a you and say, "She'll come when she's ready."
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