Douchebag Driving Lessons

As I was driving into work yesterday, I decided that a few people need douchebag driving lessons.  So here are my top three DON'T from yesterday......

Driving up the shoulder  Are you friggin serious?  Okay, I am ALL for the "look twice, save a life" campaign and I do it.  However a few motorcyclists ruin the push for people to pay more attention with their actions.  If you ride a motorcycle (or any other form of bike or scooter), don't be a schmuck.  Don't cut through rush hour traffic on the white lines or on the shoulder.  People can look 100 times when they're in rush hour traffic but if they have their blinking on and are getting ready to change lanes the correct way and some douchebag zooms up on his motorcycle not paying attention, a campaign isn't saving him.  I watched this happen yesterday along with about a zillion bikers riding up the median...not cool.  Motorcycle does not mean you get to make your own traffic laws.  So how about this?  I'll support motorcyclist's rights and their safety campaign if they stop asking like their Harleys (or whatever brand) make them as crazy special as the Men in Black cars.

Cut and Slam.  You...yes you....the one that cuts into traffic just so you can get one car ahead on the highway in rush hour and then slams on his brakes.  You're an asshole.  I've talked about merging before.  The fact is that the mergER is at the mercy of the mergEE .... not the other way around.  The merger is supposed to adjust their speed to the flow of traffic.  If you're in rush hour (as the case was yesterday), people are nice enough to shuffle like a deck of cards.  Don't be the douchebag that tries to shove two cards into a one card space, dude!  When you DO merge, don't be the dick that slams on their brakes especially not in rush hour.  You're begging for a car wreck.

Distracted Driving Yes, the law is there is no TEXTING while driving.  That does not mean to look at Facebook, put on make up or (as what I saw yesterday) taking selfies.  Are you kidding?  Taking pictures while you're sitting in traffic!?!  You are NOT special and you are NOT immune to traffic laws.  Stop doing that crap while you're driving.  You're not just putting yourself in danger; you're putting all of us in danger!

I have a whole list of driving don'ts but these are the ones for today.  Quite frankly, I think a whole lot of people need a driving lesson.