Instead of a Resolution....

Today is the day that people start focusing on resolutions.  So what type of resolution keeper are you?  Are you the person that makes the resolutions and sticks to them 100% of the time.  You are a rarity.  Are you the person that makes the resolutions and keeps them for a month or two and then blows them off?  Are you the person that swears off resolutions altogether?

I'd like to give you something to think on.....

Instead of a resolution this year, resolve to make a lifestyle change.  Make a lifestyle change to exercise more compassion.  Make a lifestyle change to exercise more love for others.  Make a lifestyle change to exercise more kindness.  In all of the aspects that you can, try to be a better person, whatever that looks like.

Let's make 2017 a year to come together as a nation.

Beauty Inside

There is beauty inside of everyone.  Literally every single person on the planet has some beauty inside of them.  "Well what about murderers, killers and dictators?"  Somewhere deep inside of them, they have it but it's been pushed down with emotional illness. Let's face it: the worst of the worst seldom, if ever, have simple lives that are all sunshine and roses.  Beauty is often pushed to the bottom of their personality and masked behind sociopathic tendencies.

But let's not focus on the worst of the worst....

Let's focus on that shy child that struggles to make friends.  They are beautiful.

Let's focus on the teenage girl that is embarrassed to go against the Kylie Jenner trend and cover up because she feels like her personality is more important.  She is beautiful.

Let's focus on that boy who just can't excel at sports and is picked on for his efforts.  He is beautiful.

Let's focus on that new mom that can't seem to make the transition through the emotional racetrack that is the post partum phase.  She is beautiful.

Let's focus on that man who stepped up to be a stepfather to children that weren't his and never even flinched.  He is beautiful.

Let's focus on that older grandparent whose grandchildren and children neglect to come and see them or even call.  They are beautiful.

There is beauty in all of us no matter how different we are.  Let's look for the beauty in someone else today...and then tell them how wonderful they are.  Spread some love.

You are Beautiful

You are beautiful.  Yes, you!  Don't let the world tell you what beautiful is.  Don't let the world tell you that the only "beautiful" women are the Kardashian wannabes.  Don't let the world tell you that your hair has to be straight or long or wavy or short.  Don't let the world tell you that you can't wear glasses.  Don't let the world tell you that can't dress a certain way if you want to be considered beautiful.  You are beautiful right where you're at.

Look in the mirror right now.  You were created to be exactly who you are and you are absolutely beautiful.  Believe it.  Tell yourself every day, ten times a day until you do.  Be comfortable in your own skin.  Know that you don't have to prove yourself.  You're amazing.  Your beauty runs so much deeper than skin, too.  You are beautiful to the depths of your soul.  You are kind and caring.  You are compassionate.  You are everything you need to be right now in your heart; it just has to shine through every day.

Each and every one of you....

Finding Your Strength

It's very easy to look down on someone because they're weak.  The truth is, though, that we're all weak sometimes.  We are just different kinds of weak.  I've said before, and I'll say again, that we are made to be part of something bigger.  We are made to fill in others' weaknesses with our strengths and vice versa.  It's easy to look at someone and say that they're weak but the truth is that they are just a different kind of weak than you are....and they could do the same thing to you later on.

Exercise encouragement as often as you can.  Tell the people around you what they're doing RIGHT instead of what they're doing wrong.  Show them kindness and compassion.  More than that, show them passion for helping THEM doing something great.  You will find your strength in helping others find theirs.

Being Part of Your Community

Negativity is the norm in our world today and it makes me incredibly sad for a multitude of reasons.  The reason I'd like to focus on today, though, is our future generation.  Our children are a product of many things from genetics to environment and everything in between.  Some of these things we cannot accurately control.  We only have so much say over genetics.  We have no say over whether they are male or female.  We have no say whether they are more even tempered or more quick tempered.  Things we can't control are plentiful.

What we can have more control of is environment.  (Though, even this is not completely controllable.) Most of us concentrate on controlling the environment in our home.  This is, indeed, a great place to concentrate.  Kids thrive knowing that they have a safe place to go when nothing else feels right.  They need to know that there are people they can trust that will move mountains to make sure that they know that they are loved. 

What we seem to have lost focus on is our community.  We seem to forget that we are part of something bigger.  My favorite quote is "The only time that you should worry about what's on someone else's plate is to make sure they have enough."  We are taught and continue to teach to mind your own business and that's a great lesson for some things but we forget to teach the other half....we forget to teach that it's okay to worry about someone else when we want to help them.  We are supposed to give each other a hand up. (and please don't mistake this as me saying that we should be supporting freeloaders...I don't.)  We should be teaching our neighbors to fish, so to speak.

But why?  Why do we need to be part of our community?  Well I have a few big reasons....

1.  We complain about the state of our community.  We complain about violence and negativity but we do nothing to help it.   Our kids observe this and conclude that they don't need to worry about it either; that they should just complain instead.  This filters into the rest of their life.... why should I care about my school?  Why should I care about my family?  It just continues...

2.  It takes a village.  You may have an enormous support system but being part of your neighborhood means being part of something amazing and wonderful.  There's something to be said for knowing your neighbors.  There's something to be said for being part of the school, even if you aren't actually active in a PTA.  There's something to be said for being part of your community, as a whole.  Being friendly and learning about the people around you encourages your kids to do the same.  It encourages your kids to want to learn about people that are different and to socialize with them, as well.  It gets them out of the bubble of their school's influence and let's them experience the world at an early age, when you can still talk to them about what they experience.

3.  It's an opportunity to teach compassion.  It's an opportunity to teach your kids that there is always someone less fortunate than you are.  There is always someone who is struggling.  Even if you can't help them financially, you can help them by letting them know you're there.  You can help by helping them find the resources they need.  Teaching your children to be kind is a lesson that will stick for years to come.

4.  You teach your children how to live in the real world.  In our homes, we know the moods of those around us and we tend to unintentionally cater to those moods.  When you're out in the real world, you don't know who you're dealing with.  Being part of your neighborhood allows your children to see you deal with a grumpy salesperson and teach them that you never know what kind of day someone is having so spread kindness.  They'll get to see you say "hi" to people you don't know, hold doors, and tell your cashier to "have a great day."  They'll get to observe real-life interactions that will benefit them for years to come.  It teaches your child that, regardless of what TV shows would have you believe, kindness IS important and violence is NOT the answer.

5.  You show your kids that other kids need love too.  I posted this last week on acceptance.  There are some children that are just not fortunate to have a great home life.  It can manifest in a variety of ways but it often bubbles up as anger and violence over things they can't control.  We, as a community, can encourage them and let them know they're loved and have a place to talk or just vent if they need to.  When your children see you reach out and be there for another child, they see what true compassion, kindness and care is.  Caring for someone else emotionally is a huge thing and our children need to learn more of this and less of the anger and violence the media loves to show us.  It benefits the angry child, as well, and lets them know that there is a safe place to fall and that we will be there for them if they need it.

We can't change things overnight but we can work every day to make progress in our neighborhoods and in our own homes.

Before You Judge, Talk...Learn

I keep seeing these posts basically calling people that say "all lives matter" jackasses and bigots.  Not all "All Lives Matter" people are jackasses and not all "Black Lives Matter" people are jackasses.  There are bad in both parties, just like everything else.  But today's post isn't about that....it's about racism.

Racism exists in this country and all over the world.  I truly believe this.  However, I don't believe that it exists only within certain color boundaries.  There are definitely white racists who hate blacks but there are also plenty of black racists that hate whites.  There are those that hate Hispanics, Asians, Middle Easterners, African Americans, Caucasians, Native Americans and everything in between.  You see, racism exists in all corners, hiding there like an elephant in the room we're not allowed to discuss.

For those of us that see beyond the color of other's skin, we can't comprehend why there is a need to specify which race matters.  You see, to us, every life matters regardless of color.  We don't judge others based on their skin color, cultural background, or anything else similar to it.  We value learning other people's experiences in life and we believe that variety is what makes this world so interesting.  We can't fathom why anyone would feel differently because we don't hold that hatred in our hearts.

It sounds too good to be true, doesn't it?  It sounds like an excuse...it sounds that way because you've developed a mistrust....the same mistrust that leads others to fear movements that specify whose lives matter and whose don't.  Life's scary enough without everyone hating each other.

Before you judge EITHER movement, or rather before you judge the individual supporters, look at each one personally.  Don't be the jackass that generalizes and says, "Well if you support it, then..." because you don't know their motivation.  You don't know their heart.  Talk to them. Learn what their fears are, what their strengths are, what they love, what they're passionate about and how THEY want to change the world for the better.  The only way to fix what's wrong in this nation and this world is to work together for a greater cause.  Be the change you want to see.

Thursday inspiration

A little Thursday inspiration.....

Be kind, even when people don't deserve it. 
Be compassionate, even when you want to criticize.  Look at it from another angle and understand that they might be going through something.
Be patient, even when you're in a hurry.  
Be silly as often as you can.  Laughter is good for the soul.
Be the change you want to see for while you are changing the life of others, you are also changing your own.