Since I'm back from my little hiatus, I feel like the first thing I want to discuss is family structure. Our nation is great because there are all types of families here in all shapes and sizes. We are generally told that our nation embraces that but that's not always the case. There are a million and one ways to be a family yet we're fighting for the rights of some to marry (or divorce), our divorce rate is outrageous, and things like wife swapping exist. So what's my little rant about? Here goes....
I have a tendency to believe that a lot of our nation's residents mock or poo-poo less fortunate nations for what they don't have. We try to go in and fix them. To be honest, some things they need....clean water, chance at education, and so on. There's also a lot we could learn from them, though. We could learn about family.
It seems that our nation has turned into a bunch of "Me mentality" buttholes. Oh sure, we all come together when there's a big crisis here or in other parts of the world. We all hold each others hands and feel good about ourselves for a little while because we sent clothes or money or food. I'm NOT saying that those things aren't great steps towards being a better person. They are all. I think we should aim to give each other a hand up more often. With that being said, a lot of people "help" all of these nations or crisis victims and forget about their families and being there for them.
In many other nations, it is not unusual for generations to all live in the same house or on the same general property. The grandparents help raise the kids, the kids learn to help out the grandparents. It's a smooth running and wonderful family unit. Do they argue and get irritated with each other? I'm sure they do. I don't know that anyone is completely immune from getting irritated with someone they're with non stop. The thing is...a lot of these families are together even more than we are with a lot less to entertain them (no tvs, etc) and they have more whole, smoother running families than we do. We keep saying what they DON'T have and how we need to fix them but the fact is that a lot of these people don't want to be corrupted like a lot of our nation's people.
I'm not suggesting that we all completely buck technology and become pseudo-Amish (and I'm NOT knocking Amish people because they have it together in a lot of ways too). What I am suggesting is that we should, perhaps, take a long hard look at how we treat each other, especially our families. Instead of viewing our families as disposable, irritating, convenience options, maybe we should truly begin to focus on our families as the amazing blessing that they can be. Maybe your family is related by blood and maybe you've been brought together by adoption or by chance. It doesn't matter, they are an important part of your life. Here are a few things I'd like to finish off with as a means to remember.....
*Your mom/dad may drive you nuts but they're (likely) the only mom/dad you're ever gonna have. As a parent, I daily look at my life and think, "my parents had the best intentions" and a lot of the time, they were right. I honestly believe that a lot of parents, I'd venture to say "most" parents, honestly do the best they can with the resources that they have. Do they make mistakes? Yes. I make mistakes as a parent now. The great news is that parents are intended to unconditionally love their children.
*Your family is NOT an aggravation unless you make them that. People come in all shapes and sizes and with all types of personalities. You might not mesh well personality-wise with all of your family but they are still your family. You are not entitled to choose people's personalities and reactions to things. You are only entitled to choosing your own reactions to them.
*Your family is not just for your convenience. There are circumstances that lead families to be severed sometimes but your kids, your parents are not just a convenience.
*If you make a choice to ignore/deny contact with your family, you should be prepared to deal with the consequences down the line. Those that read regularly know that I'm a believer in karma and I believe that acting that way has consequences down the line.
Maybe if families focused a little MORE on this and a little LESS on who's driving them crazy, not giving them "the respect they deserve" and so on, they'd realize that life is a lot more than just me, me, me.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
Engaged!
I'm ENGAGED! The love of my life proposed to me on Thanksgiving in a completely unexpected but amazingly awesome way that made me feel so special that it was unreal. Just to know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me makes everything in my life that much more special. The fact that he wants to spend the rest of his life with ALL of us (crazies included) makes it 1000 times more special. I'm so blessed to have him in my life.
The kids are all doing fantastic. Growing like weeds, but fantastic. LOL They're doing great in school and continuing to rock behaviorally...well most of the time. Kids are kids, right?
I feel the winds of change blowing in a positive direction and I'm waiting to see what God does next. He's surprised me thus far. :)
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Being Thankful While Continuing to Dream
There seems to be a relatively fine line for some people between having hopes, dreams and aspirations and feeling like they're not appreciating what they have enough by aspiring to be or do bigger and better things. I personally find the line to be quite thick. You should absolutely thank God (or the Universe or whomever you choose to) for every blessing every day from the biggest (house, family, health, etc) to the smallest (paying a bill on time because of unexpected cash, etc). You should absolutely appreciate every single blessing in your life because you never know when things may change and you may go from incredible blessing to scared crapless and broke.
With all of that being said, you should absolutely dare to dream. You should continue to aspire to something great. The expression goes that if you're not growing, you're dying. It absolutely stands true. Even Biblically, it is sound for you to aspire to be bigger and better. You should be humble in your life but also remember that aspiring to be successful or to get married or to travel the world does not make you a bad person. Dreams are what makes America a beautiful place.
Because I believe in leading by example, here are a few of my dare-to-dream aspirations....
**Soccer mom: You could really interchange any sport or major activity in for the word "soccer." Namely, I aspire to have the opportunity to get my kids involved in sports or activities and have the time to drive them back and forth, be at their games/meets/shows, and have the finances to keep up with it. This is one large lump with a lot of moving pieces but I'd love it nonetheless.
**Travel Photographer: There is nothing that I love more than exploring. I love shooting families and it's a passion I'd love to keep forever but there is something about exploring a new place and seeing it from angles that you've never imagined viewing it from that lights my fire. Will I ever have a career in this? Not unless God creates a parting-of-the-Red-Sea miracle. Does that mean I can't aspire to someday do this? Of course not!
**Own My Own House: This seems feasible but being a single mama with a limited budget, it's a dream that's hard to achieve. My ultimate dream would be to own a nice big house where I could host big family gatherings or birthday parties or sleepovers. The house would have enough space for the kids to have their own bedrooms customized to THEIR personalities. The house would sit on a few acres with great schools nearby and we'd have a big garden, a chicken coop, and maybe even horses. I'd also have a media/rec room with an air hockey table and a big ass TV with surround sound to watch sports on.
**Season Ticket Holder: Again, it's a far-off dream but I'd love to have season tickets to every major sport...Denver Broncos, Colorado Avalanche, Colorado Rockies, Denver Nuggets, and maybe even soccer and some other things. I'd also love to explore college teams, alternative sports, and other activities such as Colorado Ballet, etc
**Debt-Free with Savings: This is a semi-attainable goal that I'm working towards. I would love to be completely debt free and have savings for the kids, college savings accounts, savings for myself, emergency savings, and a retirement fund.
**Month Long Vacation Every Summer: The first would involved traveling across country to Florida and doing a complete Orlando experience (Disney parks, Universal and Islands, Sea World and Discovery Cove, Medieval Times, etc), a trip to Miami, then Jacksonville and St Augustine. After Florida, we'd travel up through Georgia and see the sites there and visit some friends. Then we'd move on to Tennessee, Illinois, and all the way up to the UP in Michigan for a couple of days...then across and back home. It'd be road tripping and craziness but I'd love every minute. Years after, I'd love to explore New England and New York, California and the West Coast, the Dakotas, Texas, Alaska, Hawaii and then on to Australia, Europe, and so on and so forth. I'd love to see how people live and how families are in different areas of the world.
**MAYBE marriage and such: If the opportunity came up and the time was right, maybe marriage and other such matters.
Those are just some of my hopes, dreams and aspirations. I appreciate everything I have and everyone in my life but I hope to someday achieve at least SOME of these goals.
With all of that being said, you should absolutely dare to dream. You should continue to aspire to something great. The expression goes that if you're not growing, you're dying. It absolutely stands true. Even Biblically, it is sound for you to aspire to be bigger and better. You should be humble in your life but also remember that aspiring to be successful or to get married or to travel the world does not make you a bad person. Dreams are what makes America a beautiful place.
Because I believe in leading by example, here are a few of my dare-to-dream aspirations....
**Soccer mom: You could really interchange any sport or major activity in for the word "soccer." Namely, I aspire to have the opportunity to get my kids involved in sports or activities and have the time to drive them back and forth, be at their games/meets/shows, and have the finances to keep up with it. This is one large lump with a lot of moving pieces but I'd love it nonetheless.
**Travel Photographer: There is nothing that I love more than exploring. I love shooting families and it's a passion I'd love to keep forever but there is something about exploring a new place and seeing it from angles that you've never imagined viewing it from that lights my fire. Will I ever have a career in this? Not unless God creates a parting-of-the-Red-Sea miracle. Does that mean I can't aspire to someday do this? Of course not!
**Own My Own House: This seems feasible but being a single mama with a limited budget, it's a dream that's hard to achieve. My ultimate dream would be to own a nice big house where I could host big family gatherings or birthday parties or sleepovers. The house would have enough space for the kids to have their own bedrooms customized to THEIR personalities. The house would sit on a few acres with great schools nearby and we'd have a big garden, a chicken coop, and maybe even horses. I'd also have a media/rec room with an air hockey table and a big ass TV with surround sound to watch sports on.
**Season Ticket Holder: Again, it's a far-off dream but I'd love to have season tickets to every major sport...Denver Broncos, Colorado Avalanche, Colorado Rockies, Denver Nuggets, and maybe even soccer and some other things. I'd also love to explore college teams, alternative sports, and other activities such as Colorado Ballet, etc
**Debt-Free with Savings: This is a semi-attainable goal that I'm working towards. I would love to be completely debt free and have savings for the kids, college savings accounts, savings for myself, emergency savings, and a retirement fund.
**Month Long Vacation Every Summer: The first would involved traveling across country to Florida and doing a complete Orlando experience (Disney parks, Universal and Islands, Sea World and Discovery Cove, Medieval Times, etc), a trip to Miami, then Jacksonville and St Augustine. After Florida, we'd travel up through Georgia and see the sites there and visit some friends. Then we'd move on to Tennessee, Illinois, and all the way up to the UP in Michigan for a couple of days...then across and back home. It'd be road tripping and craziness but I'd love every minute. Years after, I'd love to explore New England and New York, California and the West Coast, the Dakotas, Texas, Alaska, Hawaii and then on to Australia, Europe, and so on and so forth. I'd love to see how people live and how families are in different areas of the world.
**MAYBE marriage and such: If the opportunity came up and the time was right, maybe marriage and other such matters.
Those are just some of my hopes, dreams and aspirations. I appreciate everything I have and everyone in my life but I hope to someday achieve at least SOME of these goals.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Family Shots
Sorry it has been awhile since I've posted...it's been a bit of a madhouse. LOL I'll get back on the wagon but for now, here's some of our family shots taken in Silverthorne, CO.....
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Bullying
Bullying has reached a whole new peak with the current generation. Gone are the days of "bullying" being defined as being called a "doodyhead." Bullying has reached a whole new point and I believe, firmly, that it's an epidemic. Let me preface the rest of this article by saying the following: I am NOT a jump-to-conclusions kind of mom. I'm not the kind of mom that thinks everyone who says or does anything unkind is a bully. I definitely DO think that some behavior can just be defined by the adage "kids will be kids." I think there are certain behaviors that are a rite of passage. With that being said, there is a pretty thick line between bullying and teasing.
I found out this morning that my seven year old was being bullied at school. Surprising to me, to say the least, I've always counted Sydney as being the independent, strong-willed child. While I still believe that, it changed my opinions of bullying. It can happen to anyone. It happened that this particular bullying situation occurred because a friend of Sydney's said she didn't want to play with the Queen Bee one day. In return, Queen Bee not only tells EVERY girl in both second grade classes that they aren't allowed to play with Sydney (except the new girl who ended up getting snubbed too) but also that Sydney isn't allowed to play with THEM. She told everyone that Sydney was annoying and that she wasn't "part of the club." Clearly there's more to the story but that's the main complaint. She literally used her influence (her mom is a VIP in the school, let's just say) to alienate Sydney because she was jealous that someone wanted to play with Sydney instead of her. Ironically, I've never known this girl to be malicious and I don't know that she is now....bullying is a learned behavior. She could have picked it up from other girls, siblings, TV, or a million other places. I don't know that the mom knew she was doing anything of the type and I think that the mother would be appalled if she did know (I've met and spoke to her once or twice and she seemed very nice.)
As soon as I was alerted to the problem, I discussed a course of action with Sydney. First of all, you need to speak to your teacher about the problem . Chances are (and I was correct) the teacher doesn't know about it. There are a lot of kids in the class and this was mainly happening on the playground and outside of the school. This isn't something that they can keep an eye on all of the time. Secondly, I will email the teacher and discuss it with her personally. This is to assure that the teacher knows it is not just whining or tattling. Thirdly, it will be known that if the issue can't be resolved by the faculty (as was the case with one of my best friends' children), it will be resolved at a higher level and I will not think twice or feel bad. I am my children best advocate.
I alerted the teacher and waited. A couple of hours later, I got an apology and the teacher assured me that she (and the other second grade teacher) were meeting with ALL of the girls and discussing a course of action. There were apology letters written to my daughter and I feel that the issue was handled VERY well and VERY effectively. I was kept in the loop the entire time and assured that the circumstances will be advanced if this occurs again in any way, shape or form.
I guess that there are a few points that I'd like to make here....
1. Discuss bullying with your children. Attempt to give them an understanding of what a bullied child feels like so they don't participate in it. Tell them that it's not always defined as direct name calling or physical contact. Often, the bullies simply spread rumors or alienate children. Bullies' power lies in their ability to rally troops. If you take that away, they have no power over anyone.
2. Discuss with your children what to do if THEY'RE bullied. I was very fortunate that Sydney came to me. There are a lot of kids that don't feel comfortable or that get brushed off when they're being bullied. It ends up creating an entirely different and sometimes much more severe set of circumstances. There are a lot of documented cases of children ending up with severe psychological issues and either striking out (school shootings, etc) or harming themselves (suicide, etc).
3. Pay attention and watch for the signs. If you're watching your kids interact with other children, you can see clear signs of bullying coming out. Sometimes, though, you have to watch for your child acting out the behaviors that others are doing to them as they try to gain power in their lives.
4. Speak to your children's faculty if this occurs. Some schools are piss-poor when it comes to actually taking care of it. I'm very blessed to say that my children attend a school where this is not the case. The faculty is very caring and very interested in resolving issues. I didn't push my nose in and try to handle it. I let the staff handle it within the school. They've discussed future situations (should they arise) but handled it in a very caring and attentive way.
5. Remember ALWAYS that you are your child's strongest advocate. This goes for all situations. Don't brush him/her off. Let them know that you support them. Help them learn to cope on their own but give them the tools to cope if they need help. Be there for them and advocate for their best interests.
My hope is that this epidemic comes to a screeching halt in the future as our next generations stand together and say, "We will not be a part of this awful way of life."
I found out this morning that my seven year old was being bullied at school. Surprising to me, to say the least, I've always counted Sydney as being the independent, strong-willed child. While I still believe that, it changed my opinions of bullying. It can happen to anyone. It happened that this particular bullying situation occurred because a friend of Sydney's said she didn't want to play with the Queen Bee one day. In return, Queen Bee not only tells EVERY girl in both second grade classes that they aren't allowed to play with Sydney (except the new girl who ended up getting snubbed too) but also that Sydney isn't allowed to play with THEM. She told everyone that Sydney was annoying and that she wasn't "part of the club." Clearly there's more to the story but that's the main complaint. She literally used her influence (her mom is a VIP in the school, let's just say) to alienate Sydney because she was jealous that someone wanted to play with Sydney instead of her. Ironically, I've never known this girl to be malicious and I don't know that she is now....bullying is a learned behavior. She could have picked it up from other girls, siblings, TV, or a million other places. I don't know that the mom knew she was doing anything of the type and I think that the mother would be appalled if she did know (I've met and spoke to her once or twice and she seemed very nice.)
As soon as I was alerted to the problem, I discussed a course of action with Sydney. First of all, you need to speak to your teacher about the problem . Chances are (and I was correct) the teacher doesn't know about it. There are a lot of kids in the class and this was mainly happening on the playground and outside of the school. This isn't something that they can keep an eye on all of the time. Secondly, I will email the teacher and discuss it with her personally. This is to assure that the teacher knows it is not just whining or tattling. Thirdly, it will be known that if the issue can't be resolved by the faculty (as was the case with one of my best friends' children), it will be resolved at a higher level and I will not think twice or feel bad. I am my children best advocate.
I alerted the teacher and waited. A couple of hours later, I got an apology and the teacher assured me that she (and the other second grade teacher) were meeting with ALL of the girls and discussing a course of action. There were apology letters written to my daughter and I feel that the issue was handled VERY well and VERY effectively. I was kept in the loop the entire time and assured that the circumstances will be advanced if this occurs again in any way, shape or form.
I guess that there are a few points that I'd like to make here....
1. Discuss bullying with your children. Attempt to give them an understanding of what a bullied child feels like so they don't participate in it. Tell them that it's not always defined as direct name calling or physical contact. Often, the bullies simply spread rumors or alienate children. Bullies' power lies in their ability to rally troops. If you take that away, they have no power over anyone.
2. Discuss with your children what to do if THEY'RE bullied. I was very fortunate that Sydney came to me. There are a lot of kids that don't feel comfortable or that get brushed off when they're being bullied. It ends up creating an entirely different and sometimes much more severe set of circumstances. There are a lot of documented cases of children ending up with severe psychological issues and either striking out (school shootings, etc) or harming themselves (suicide, etc).
3. Pay attention and watch for the signs. If you're watching your kids interact with other children, you can see clear signs of bullying coming out. Sometimes, though, you have to watch for your child acting out the behaviors that others are doing to them as they try to gain power in their lives.
4. Speak to your children's faculty if this occurs. Some schools are piss-poor when it comes to actually taking care of it. I'm very blessed to say that my children attend a school where this is not the case. The faculty is very caring and very interested in resolving issues. I didn't push my nose in and try to handle it. I let the staff handle it within the school. They've discussed future situations (should they arise) but handled it in a very caring and attentive way.
5. Remember ALWAYS that you are your child's strongest advocate. This goes for all situations. Don't brush him/her off. Let them know that you support them. Help them learn to cope on their own but give them the tools to cope if they need help. Be there for them and advocate for their best interests.
My hope is that this epidemic comes to a screeching halt in the future as our next generations stand together and say, "We will not be a part of this awful way of life."
Monday, October 7, 2013
The Mall....Nuff Said
This weekend was a great journey. My little man turned 9 on Thursday and we got to have a small family celebration where he got cake and the few things he had "asked" for. High point of the celebration? Sydney asked Daniel if she liked the coloring book pages she'd painted for him and he responded with, "I loved every single one of them." Yep...that's my sweet little man!
Friday was one of those get-everything-crammed-into-a-couple-days days. Saturday was supposed to be our day of rest and errands. It started out fine but it turned out that my car (which was going into the shop for what we thought was a simple fix) needed to be in the shop until Tuesday. They gave me a rental but I had to go and pick it up. Oy! On a positive spin, the dealership is paying for the rental (I just had to pay the deposit) and I'm just thankful that God provided that.
SIDE NOTE: Even BETTER news? Tony ended up scoring us Redwings vs Avs tickets and I get to see my first Redwings game!
So we decided to take Daniel to the mall for a trip to the Lego Store. I am not a fan of the mall (nor is Tony) and I was just unsure of exactly how to handle the situation without making Daniel give up his one real request. It ended up okay (despite a minor panic attack over thinking we wouldn't be able to remember where the car was) and the "boys" (Tony and Daniel..LOL) played arcade games PLUS Daniel ended up getting the Lego set he's been wanting for FOREVER!!! If the mall would just stop shifting things around and getting rid of stores we might be okay. LOL
All things considered, it was a blessing but I never want to go to the mall again.
Friday was one of those get-everything-crammed-into-a-couple-days days. Saturday was supposed to be our day of rest and errands. It started out fine but it turned out that my car (which was going into the shop for what we thought was a simple fix) needed to be in the shop until Tuesday. They gave me a rental but I had to go and pick it up. Oy! On a positive spin, the dealership is paying for the rental (I just had to pay the deposit) and I'm just thankful that God provided that.
SIDE NOTE: Even BETTER news? Tony ended up scoring us Redwings vs Avs tickets and I get to see my first Redwings game!
So we decided to take Daniel to the mall for a trip to the Lego Store. I am not a fan of the mall (nor is Tony) and I was just unsure of exactly how to handle the situation without making Daniel give up his one real request. It ended up okay (despite a minor panic attack over thinking we wouldn't be able to remember where the car was) and the "boys" (Tony and Daniel..LOL) played arcade games PLUS Daniel ended up getting the Lego set he's been wanting for FOREVER!!! If the mall would just stop shifting things around and getting rid of stores we might be okay. LOL
All things considered, it was a blessing but I never want to go to the mall again.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
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