"There's no way to be a perfect parent but there are about a million ways to be a really great one."
This is sincerely one of my favorite quotes when it comes to parenting. It's a humbling reminder that there are a million unique ways to parent children and still get incredible results. I, also, find it to be a great reminder that you shouldn't listen to the critics if you're following your instincts and loving your kids unconditionally. Look, I have opinions on things and they're strong but that doesn't mean that I assume everyone's opinions are just like mine. I have great friends that parent completely differently; however, their kids are bright, sweet, thriving children with really big hearts. They're doing what's right for THEIR children and for THEIR family and it may not look like my parenting choices but it works for them!
Okay so brutal honesty: I'm not a co sleeper. I barely like to share the blankets much less share the bed with any of my writhing, kicking, space-encroaching little munchkins. I'd love to say that my decision is based on some fantastically accurate study but the fact is that there are studies on both sides of the aisle on this one and I know families that co sleep as well as families that share my feelings on this, both of which have great, thriving children. I see the convenience when breastfeeding and I have read and understand the research presented for the other side of the argument, even if it's not my personal choice. This is respectfully understanding that my way is not the only way.
I wasn't one for baby wearing. Honestly, my biggest reasoning was that I didn't have a comfortable carrier/wrap to wear and I felt like trying to struggle through the back pain after wearing them for a few hours wasn't worth the wearing at all. If I'm going to look like a gargoyle twisted in pain after trying to wear a bjorn for a few hours, I'm probably not going to be very fun to be around. However, I have friends that wear their little ones well into toddlerhood and they love it! It's comfortable and both mommy and baby are happy as clams. I have read and understand the research presented and I think it's a great option for a whole lot of mommies, even if it wasn't my personal choice. This is respectfully understanding that my way is not the only way. (Side note: If my rapidly growing teens and tweens would like to carry me around all of the time, I wouldn't necessarily be heart broken. They are getting bigger than me by the minute.)
I didn't exclusively breast feed. I tried everything the lactation consultant could give me in order to try to increase my milk supply and it just didn't happen. My very hungry babies (who became very hungry toddlers and are now ravenous teens and tweens) needed more, so I turned to formula. There are some moms who can't breastfeed and some who simply choose not to. On the contrary, I have great friends that still breast feed (though not exclusively, obviously) their little ones at 3-4 years old. Is it something I chose? Nope. I'm not even sure I would have chosen it if I could have done it. Is it something I support them doing? Absolutely, if it works for their family. There are studies done that support their choice just as much as those that support mine. This is respectfully understanding that my way is not the only way.
These are just a few of the issues that come up in parenting debates. They provide three examples in a slew of thousands of different discussions. Some of these issues have driven stakes between friendships because of judgmental attitudes. There are rifts in families because a mother-in-law thinks her son's wife is doing this wrong. There are rifts because a daughter wants to do things "her way" instead of how her mother did them. There are moms that seem to believe that if they have a successful high school graduate, they MUST be an expert on all topics under the umbrella of "parenting skills." Here's the harsh reality: Every child is different, every family is different and the information on parenting is always changing as new studies are done. No one is an expert...not doctors, not parents of grown children, not moms that read one hundred books a year on how to parent, no one.
So before you start to roll your eyes at that mom posting studies on how baby wearing makes for a happier baby, know that they're doing what's best for their baby and they want to share why they do it. Before you get judgmental at the mom of teenagers that is pulling her hair out because their daughter's head is spinning while she spits out green pea soup, know that you may someday be in her shoes. Before you criticize the mom whose son has a pacifier at age four or still takes a bottle in the preschool years, know that the mom you're criticizing is doing what's best for her son and her family. More than that, know that it's none of your business to judge. You see, your way is not the only way to parent. Your choices are not the only right ones and other people making other choices is not going to mean that their child will require therapy. Chances are that most of these kids will turn out to be bright, vibrant, wonderful adults even if they *gasp* have parents that make the complete opposite choices than you did.
My final thought on this is directed to the know-it-all moms. You know who you are. You feel the need to criticize, demoralize and look down your nose at moms that don't agree with you. You roll your eyes and say that they just don't know what they're talking about. You use a condescending tone to say, "Oh they'll learn...." All that they're "learning" is that you're nothing short of a mean girl and you have no right to criticize. All that you're teaching them is that bullying them with some sort of high and mighty attitude and refusing to even read their research with an unbiased attitude is the best way to be. Stop being an asshole and mind your own damn business. Stop living in the "good old days" and understand that those were different times and required different parenting. Your way is not the only way to parent and, chances are, that mom you're criticizing will end up with children that are just as wonderful as yours are in completely unique and wonderful ways....because ultimately that's what we are ALL aiming for: productive, unique, creative, intelligent, wonderful kids that become productive members of society.
Monday, March 7, 2016
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Debate Like an Adult
Let us all take a moment to discuss debating as an adult. If you are a grown up, you should be able to debate as such. Debating as an adult means presenting facts that you are able to back up with clear-cut evidence from a reliable source. This is one of the reasons that debating religion can be difficult. While there is valid historical evidence to back up, let's say, the existence of some Biblical figures or situations, there is not necessarily evidence to back up the miracles described. That is where the validity of "faith" comes in. Faith is believing in something that you cannot see; thus, belief in the Bible is based partly on what history proves occurs and partly on believing in a higher power (God) and His ability to provide miracles. But I digress....
If you can provide clear cut actual scientific evidence (not theory, not guessing) including but not limited to extensive studies done by reliable sources and/or photography, then you have what can be factually referred to as "proof." Proof is defined as "evidence or argument establishing or helping to establish a fact or the truth of a statement". The adjective form of proof is defined as "able to withstand something damaging; resistant." I believe both need to apply in a debate situation. Proof as evidence or argument establishes a FACT. It doesn't mean that you are inputting your opinion into it. It doesn't mean that because you believe a certain way, your biased opinion weighs on the topic. It means that what is established as proven is FACT. You can dislike it. You can be opposed to it. You can want it to be something else. What is established as proven is FACT.
Proof in its adjective form, though, is also necessary in a debate. If your argument is not able to withstand something damaging, it is going to be a losing argument. If you don't have evidence to support your argument, it will withstand nothing. If your evidence cannot be researched and found without fault, it will withstand nothing. In short, if you can look it up on snopes.com and find what is posted, written, etc to be false, you are wasting your time in trying to debate the issue. It must be able to withstand someone else looking into your fact and showing that it is worthy of merit. (And before you start in on the topic of whether or not snopes.com is valid, you must realize that once you turn your argument into this topic, you are completely voiding your original debate and beginning a new one.)
An adult debate requires that you provide evidence to support your position. If your evidence is invalid, your argument becomes invalid too. You can't say that just because something "looks right to you" or is "similar to the truth" that it is the truth. This is particularly true when you are discussing photographic evidence. If you are basing your argument on inaccurate depictions of any kind, your perspective is to fact what the National Enquirer is to news. It's inaccurate and won't be taken seriously. Period. If you want to make your argument stronger, find evidence that can be looked up, backed up and shown to be factual....evidence that can be proven.
Now let's cover responses to debate. When someone presents you actual fact that can be backed up, proven and feet to the fire shown to be true and your response is to tell them that your debate is "close enough", you are essentially completely forfeiting your argument. You have now turned an adult debate into a children's persuasion piece. A good portion of the time, the response by someone who has just been proven wrong (and who can't participate in an adult debate) is to name call, launch personal attacks, demoralize by making it seem like the other party just simply doesn't know as much or to make it into a victim situation (as if you are attacking them by providing facts on the matter). If you have to use one of these responses, you are not presenting a strong debate. You're acting like a know it all. It doesn't make you educated to present false evidence and then get angry, hurt, or frustrated when someone proves you wrong. In fact, it presents the exact opposite image of what you're trying to present. If you are trying to sway someone to agree with you, you will not achieve this in this manner.
All too often, those that are trying to "educate" people or persuade them to pick a side (particularly in political and social issues) seem to not be able to strongly debate their cause. When their debate starts to fail, they blame everyone else but themselves. Many of these people are very opinionated and seem to believe that if they read information from one or two sources that support their opinion, they are the most educated on the topic. Anyone that believes something different is dumb, a jerk or a million other adjectives that don't apply. It seems to be an epidemic with the upcoming elections and it's bordering on absurd.
So allow me to close with the following: If you are unable to debate in an adult manner, do the world and favor and just avoid debates at all. If your "evidence" is that you had a cousin's uncle Remus that told you that, fine. If you want to play victim, super. Just remember that you are doing nothing for your argument and therefore, driving people further from your cause. Do yourself a favor and educate yourself fully with a debate that allows you to truly stand up for your cause and will withstand the other side's research. You will move mountains for your passions when you debate like an adult.
If you can provide clear cut actual scientific evidence (not theory, not guessing) including but not limited to extensive studies done by reliable sources and/or photography, then you have what can be factually referred to as "proof." Proof is defined as "evidence or argument establishing or helping to establish a fact or the truth of a statement". The adjective form of proof is defined as "able to withstand something damaging; resistant." I believe both need to apply in a debate situation. Proof as evidence or argument establishes a FACT. It doesn't mean that you are inputting your opinion into it. It doesn't mean that because you believe a certain way, your biased opinion weighs on the topic. It means that what is established as proven is FACT. You can dislike it. You can be opposed to it. You can want it to be something else. What is established as proven is FACT.
Proof in its adjective form, though, is also necessary in a debate. If your argument is not able to withstand something damaging, it is going to be a losing argument. If you don't have evidence to support your argument, it will withstand nothing. If your evidence cannot be researched and found without fault, it will withstand nothing. In short, if you can look it up on snopes.com and find what is posted, written, etc to be false, you are wasting your time in trying to debate the issue. It must be able to withstand someone else looking into your fact and showing that it is worthy of merit. (And before you start in on the topic of whether or not snopes.com is valid, you must realize that once you turn your argument into this topic, you are completely voiding your original debate and beginning a new one.)
An adult debate requires that you provide evidence to support your position. If your evidence is invalid, your argument becomes invalid too. You can't say that just because something "looks right to you" or is "similar to the truth" that it is the truth. This is particularly true when you are discussing photographic evidence. If you are basing your argument on inaccurate depictions of any kind, your perspective is to fact what the National Enquirer is to news. It's inaccurate and won't be taken seriously. Period. If you want to make your argument stronger, find evidence that can be looked up, backed up and shown to be factual....evidence that can be proven.
Now let's cover responses to debate. When someone presents you actual fact that can be backed up, proven and feet to the fire shown to be true and your response is to tell them that your debate is "close enough", you are essentially completely forfeiting your argument. You have now turned an adult debate into a children's persuasion piece. A good portion of the time, the response by someone who has just been proven wrong (and who can't participate in an adult debate) is to name call, launch personal attacks, demoralize by making it seem like the other party just simply doesn't know as much or to make it into a victim situation (as if you are attacking them by providing facts on the matter). If you have to use one of these responses, you are not presenting a strong debate. You're acting like a know it all. It doesn't make you educated to present false evidence and then get angry, hurt, or frustrated when someone proves you wrong. In fact, it presents the exact opposite image of what you're trying to present. If you are trying to sway someone to agree with you, you will not achieve this in this manner.
All too often, those that are trying to "educate" people or persuade them to pick a side (particularly in political and social issues) seem to not be able to strongly debate their cause. When their debate starts to fail, they blame everyone else but themselves. Many of these people are very opinionated and seem to believe that if they read information from one or two sources that support their opinion, they are the most educated on the topic. Anyone that believes something different is dumb, a jerk or a million other adjectives that don't apply. It seems to be an epidemic with the upcoming elections and it's bordering on absurd.
So allow me to close with the following: If you are unable to debate in an adult manner, do the world and favor and just avoid debates at all. If your "evidence" is that you had a cousin's uncle Remus that told you that, fine. If you want to play victim, super. Just remember that you are doing nothing for your argument and therefore, driving people further from your cause. Do yourself a favor and educate yourself fully with a debate that allows you to truly stand up for your cause and will withstand the other side's research. You will move mountains for your passions when you debate like an adult.
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Dear Mom with the Teenage Daughter
Dear Mom with the Teenage Daughter:
You're cooler than you think you are. I know your daughter is looking at you and telling you how unfair you are. I know she's rolling her eyes at you and crossing her arms when you tell her "no." I know she's giving you smart ass remarks for everything and can't seem to say anything nice some days. Believe me, I know.
I just want you to know that it's going to be okay. You're going to make it through this.
I know you're thinking back, remembering when your precious daughter came into this world. She played with her dolls and sang Disney Princess songs. She had such a sweet countenance. Then the hormones kicked in and she became less "Sleeping Beauty" and more "Malificent." She began breathing fire and started hating everything that you did.
Let me let you in a secret.....you're cooler than you think you are.
As the matter of fact, she's likely desperately trying to avoid admitting that her friends adore you. It's okay to discipline her. It's okay to tell her "no." It's okay that she thinks you're unfair. It means you're doing your job. Keep it up mama. Keep your chin up.
Spend a minute every day giving her a kiss on the top of her head and then prepare yourself for the deep sigh. It's gonna get better. She has to move out sometime.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Mom Surviving It
You're cooler than you think you are. I know your daughter is looking at you and telling you how unfair you are. I know she's rolling her eyes at you and crossing her arms when you tell her "no." I know she's giving you smart ass remarks for everything and can't seem to say anything nice some days. Believe me, I know.
I just want you to know that it's going to be okay. You're going to make it through this.
I know you're thinking back, remembering when your precious daughter came into this world. She played with her dolls and sang Disney Princess songs. She had such a sweet countenance. Then the hormones kicked in and she became less "Sleeping Beauty" and more "Malificent." She began breathing fire and started hating everything that you did.
Let me let you in a secret.....you're cooler than you think you are.
As the matter of fact, she's likely desperately trying to avoid admitting that her friends adore you. It's okay to discipline her. It's okay to tell her "no." It's okay that she thinks you're unfair. It means you're doing your job. Keep it up mama. Keep your chin up.
Spend a minute every day giving her a kiss on the top of her head and then prepare yourself for the deep sigh. It's gonna get better. She has to move out sometime.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Mom Surviving It
Thursday, March 3, 2016
The Right Place At the Right Time
Sometimes God puts you in a strange place for a very good reason. Today, on my way home, I stopped off at a very unfamiliar dollar store to get my daughter a balloon for her birthday. It took me a few minutes to decide on balloons, then grab a box of candy and pick a line. While standing there, with one customer waiting in front of me and one already checking out, I kept feeling God tugging on my heart. It was moments later that the man checking out realized he didn't have enough money to pay for his order. The cashier was puzzled and asked the only other cashier in the store for help. This man was now publicly being shown to not have enough money for his order. (I don't blame the cashier as she wasn't sure how to void out so many items). She asked those of us left in line to go to the other line and apologized. They had to wait on a manager to get back from break. Meanwhile, this poor customer was apologizing over and over. Anyone looking at him could tell how embarrassed he was and that he was struggling. I could feel God tugging at my heart even harder.
I walked over to the cashier and discreetly asked if I could cover the rest of his order. He paid what he could and I took care of the rest for him. His exact words were, "See, God still puts angels on earth." The cashier said, "God bless you." All I could say was, "No God bless YOU, my friend. We all have hard times. I'll be praying for you."
I was moved to tears when I left that store: tears for this poor man, tears for the cashier who had no idea how to handle it and was doing her best to make him feel like his situation was going to be okay, tears for those around that were looking down on this gentleman, but most of all tears of thankfulness for God giving me this opportunity. I only wished I could do more. I could only cry and thank God for giving me this gift.
I tell you this not to get some sort of praise or pat on the back. In fact, I want NONE of that. I tell you this to give glory to God for providing this man with the help he needed through me. I tell you this to give glory to God for providing me an opportunity to be shown just how great God is and be reminded of how He speaks to us daily and not to ignore it. I tell you this because I truly believe that God puts us in places and circumstances for a reason and that, no matter how small or dull it may seem, if you listen to His heart-speak, you will be completely overcome. You see, I'm not an angel but to this man, it was the simplest way to express God's work being done through a stranger. I didn't do anything wonderful or even good....it was all God's hand. I was just a vessel.
Watch for opportunities to glorify God, friends. It might be something small to you but to someone else, it may mean the world. For someone else, it might be what reminds them in a very hard time that God is right there with them.
I walked over to the cashier and discreetly asked if I could cover the rest of his order. He paid what he could and I took care of the rest for him. His exact words were, "See, God still puts angels on earth." The cashier said, "God bless you." All I could say was, "No God bless YOU, my friend. We all have hard times. I'll be praying for you."
I was moved to tears when I left that store: tears for this poor man, tears for the cashier who had no idea how to handle it and was doing her best to make him feel like his situation was going to be okay, tears for those around that were looking down on this gentleman, but most of all tears of thankfulness for God giving me this opportunity. I only wished I could do more. I could only cry and thank God for giving me this gift.
I tell you this not to get some sort of praise or pat on the back. In fact, I want NONE of that. I tell you this to give glory to God for providing this man with the help he needed through me. I tell you this to give glory to God for providing me an opportunity to be shown just how great God is and be reminded of how He speaks to us daily and not to ignore it. I tell you this because I truly believe that God puts us in places and circumstances for a reason and that, no matter how small or dull it may seem, if you listen to His heart-speak, you will be completely overcome. You see, I'm not an angel but to this man, it was the simplest way to express God's work being done through a stranger. I didn't do anything wonderful or even good....it was all God's hand. I was just a vessel.
Watch for opportunities to glorify God, friends. It might be something small to you but to someone else, it may mean the world. For someone else, it might be what reminds them in a very hard time that God is right there with them.
You can Never Be Too Kind
My sunny, funny daughter celebrates her birthday today. The kid can light up a room just by walking in. She's literally been that way since the moment she was born. It's a force that I don't know if I'll ever understand but it's a blessing to be a part of. One of the biggest things that she represents daily is that everyone deserves to know that they're special. Her explanation? I always tell all of them (my kids) how special they are and it makes her feel wonderful so she wants to pass it on to everyone else. My explanation? It's just who she is. God made her with a heart to just love people.
So today I decided to celebrate what she represents. Everyone deserves to feel special. When was the last time you took the time to let those you love know that you appreciate them? On a daily basis, it's something I have a passion for doing this and it's something that my daughter shares. There is something to be said for just telling someone how much you are thankful for the things that they do for you daily. It might be something really small. It might be huge things that they complete daily. Regardless, it's always a great idea to let someone know that you recognize their efforts and that it means a lot to you.
Now, when was the last time you told someone random how special they are? Maybe they're not a close friend but you can see they're having a rough day. Maybe you see they're struggling with self esteem. Maybe you just think they need a boost. Maybe there's no reason at all. It can completely change the course of someone's day to hear how special they are and how much they bring to the world. It can encourage them, touch their heart, and give them motivation to keep plugging away even if times are hard. You see, this is what my daughter (and I) truly believe in life...you can never be too kind.
I can't wait to see the things that my daughter achieves in her life and what she chooses to do with this great love and encouraging spirit within her. The one thing I know for sure is that she is definitely an amazing little girl and I'm thankful for her every single day
So today I decided to celebrate what she represents. Everyone deserves to feel special. When was the last time you took the time to let those you love know that you appreciate them? On a daily basis, it's something I have a passion for doing this and it's something that my daughter shares. There is something to be said for just telling someone how much you are thankful for the things that they do for you daily. It might be something really small. It might be huge things that they complete daily. Regardless, it's always a great idea to let someone know that you recognize their efforts and that it means a lot to you.
Now, when was the last time you told someone random how special they are? Maybe they're not a close friend but you can see they're having a rough day. Maybe you see they're struggling with self esteem. Maybe you just think they need a boost. Maybe there's no reason at all. It can completely change the course of someone's day to hear how special they are and how much they bring to the world. It can encourage them, touch their heart, and give them motivation to keep plugging away even if times are hard. You see, this is what my daughter (and I) truly believe in life...you can never be too kind.
I can't wait to see the things that my daughter achieves in her life and what she chooses to do with this great love and encouraging spirit within her. The one thing I know for sure is that she is definitely an amazing little girl and I'm thankful for her every single day
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
I'm SO glad my child doesn't do that
I think every parent knows that one parent that puts off the vibe that their child is flawless. Sometimes they're uppity parents that are just trying to get by and other times there are other reasons. It's almost ridiculous actually.
"Well I'm SO glad MY daughter doesn't do that."
Congratulations.....you just asked God to show you His sense of humor. If your daughter doesn't do it, your son now will.
Look, hormones do funny things to kids. Your normally sweet, loving, kind child will suddenly become mouthy and defiant. No one is completely immune. Seriously, no one. Christians love to tout that their weekly trips to church and the youth groups their kids are involved in keep their children from having attitudes or talking back. Ironically even the BIBLE talks about defiant children. It's been going on since the beginning of time, folks. You're not immune. Can you keep your kids in line? Absolutely. Does church help? Well that probably depends on your church. I'd say that being around positive influence anywhere helps so probably, yes.
Not only do hormones come into play but some kids are just moody, in general. You may have a happy-go-lucky, easy-going sweet son or daughter that gives you very little attitude. On the other hand, you may have a child that is just more moody from the start. It doesn't make your child a brat because they are naturally a bit more inclined to grouchiness.
The important part of this is that, as a parent, we shouldn't be playing the comparison game, PERIOD. You shouldn't be comparing your children to each other (developmentally, behaviorally or otherwise) and you DEFINITELY shouldn't be making other parents feel self-conscious over challenges they're facing. You may be "so glad" that your son doesn't get an attitude or "so glad" that your daughter doesn't get moody or "so glad" that your toddler doesn't throw tantrums and that's great. What ISN'T great is getting an attitude toward other parents who might be facing the struggles, further alienating them as they try to do their best as a parent.
I guess the best way to sum this up is in the words of Flower from "Bambi" : "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."
"Well I'm SO glad MY daughter doesn't do that."
Congratulations.....you just asked God to show you His sense of humor. If your daughter doesn't do it, your son now will.
Look, hormones do funny things to kids. Your normally sweet, loving, kind child will suddenly become mouthy and defiant. No one is completely immune. Seriously, no one. Christians love to tout that their weekly trips to church and the youth groups their kids are involved in keep their children from having attitudes or talking back. Ironically even the BIBLE talks about defiant children. It's been going on since the beginning of time, folks. You're not immune. Can you keep your kids in line? Absolutely. Does church help? Well that probably depends on your church. I'd say that being around positive influence anywhere helps so probably, yes.
Not only do hormones come into play but some kids are just moody, in general. You may have a happy-go-lucky, easy-going sweet son or daughter that gives you very little attitude. On the other hand, you may have a child that is just more moody from the start. It doesn't make your child a brat because they are naturally a bit more inclined to grouchiness.
The important part of this is that, as a parent, we shouldn't be playing the comparison game, PERIOD. You shouldn't be comparing your children to each other (developmentally, behaviorally or otherwise) and you DEFINITELY shouldn't be making other parents feel self-conscious over challenges they're facing. You may be "so glad" that your son doesn't get an attitude or "so glad" that your daughter doesn't get moody or "so glad" that your toddler doesn't throw tantrums and that's great. What ISN'T great is getting an attitude toward other parents who might be facing the struggles, further alienating them as they try to do their best as a parent.
I guess the best way to sum this up is in the words of Flower from "Bambi" : "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Political Bullies
Many, many years ago, there was an unwritten rule that you don't talk religion or politics with family or close friends. It seems that this the popularity of social media has completely blown this unwritten rule out of the water. Not only do we constantly TALK about it but some have the idea that if they post something to their page, they are immune to discussion on the topic. Even worse, some feel that if a friend or family member likes a different political candidate or practices a different religion (or no religion at all) that they simply cannot exist in such a parallel. They are pushy, rude and belittling if you don't agree with their candidate. If your opinion differs, you must be an idiot. The same exists for those that say, "You can't be a good Christian if you do/don't do....." This post is directed at these people. This post is just a friendly post of advice.
First of all, let me say this: I love your passion. It's so hard to find people with real true passion for something important anymore instead of passion for "The Walking Dead" (which, by the way, is an incredible show). I admire your desire to want to change the world with whatever it is that you love and choose to represent. I admire your dedication to representing a cause. I admire all of these things because it makes you an individual. It makes you who you are and I love that we all get a change to be unique and wonderful with so much variety in our beautiful world. I love the fact that our founding fathers believed the same. They believed that we can all love different things and believe different things and we can still be united in wanting our country to be great. I still believe this today.
Freedom of speech, often, seems an invitation to just say whatever dumbass thing pops out of one's mouth. Ironically enough, I still believe in freedom of speech. I don't have to agree with Kanye West (and, most of the time, I don't) but I support his right to say it. I don't have to desire to listen to Hillary Clinton but I support her right to represent what she believes in. I believe in the Constitution and I believe in the way that the founding fathers chose to set up a way to modify it. It's not that they never thought that rules or ideas would evolve. They knew that they would. What they ALSO knew was that it was necessary to put a chain of events into effect to modify the Constitution where needed....to create new amendments.
So you see, I support your right to say whatever it is that you desire about your political candidate or your religion (or lack thereof). On a personal level, however, I think you're acting like a real schmuck. On a managerial level, I can't understand why you think bullying people will cause anyone to jump over to your cause. It's as if you think that if you post enough negative bull crap about another candidate or enough memes on why God must not exist, you will somehow sway the opinions of those around you. It's either that or you're just trying to get a rise out of people. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, though.
Let me give you a little nugget to munch on here.... what if someone believed something different from you and that was okay? What if you could support Ted Cruz and she could support Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders and that was okay? What if you could believe that no God exists and someone else could believe in God and another could believe in Buddhist practices and that was okay too? What if we could be allowed to be individuals and still be "right" in our own practices? What if, instead of belittling, bullying and obnoxiously pushing people to believe what you believe, you could listen to their point of view and appreciate what it is that they love about their religion or their political candidate? What if it was okay for us to be different?
You see, the reason that generations before us made the unwritten rule was because they knew that what is happening right now would happen. Rather than turn against each other over our differences, they wanted to remain united as a nation and as friends/family. Our elders were so much more intelligent than our current generations and we just don't seem to see it. Our grandparents and great grandparents had more insight than every psychological study can give right now just by observing what was going on around them. It wasn't just an effort to be polite, it was an effort to not cause unnecessary arguments. It was the wisdom to know that sometimes it's not worth it to cause a hubbub. It was the knowledge that bullying never achieves true change.
With all of that said, if you're truly interested in "educating people" on your beliefs (be it political or religious), try something new. Listen to them explain why they like their candidate or why they believe what they believe religiously. Then DO NOT give them negative facts about their beliefs. Instead, tell them the positives of why you love your candidate or why you believe a particular religious belief. Instead of putting them down, give them something to think about. The expression "you get more flies with honey than vinegar" is definitely true. Use "honey." Let them decide on their own with facts that you provide to inspire them to educate themselves. They may not end up agreeing with you or changing their mind on what they think but they have the information now to look into things further.
In short, stop telling your kids not to bully in school and then bullying others with your beliefs. Variety is the spice of life and an overpowering spice just makes the dish taste like crap.
First of all, let me say this: I love your passion. It's so hard to find people with real true passion for something important anymore instead of passion for "The Walking Dead" (which, by the way, is an incredible show). I admire your desire to want to change the world with whatever it is that you love and choose to represent. I admire your dedication to representing a cause. I admire all of these things because it makes you an individual. It makes you who you are and I love that we all get a change to be unique and wonderful with so much variety in our beautiful world. I love the fact that our founding fathers believed the same. They believed that we can all love different things and believe different things and we can still be united in wanting our country to be great. I still believe this today.
Freedom of speech, often, seems an invitation to just say whatever dumbass thing pops out of one's mouth. Ironically enough, I still believe in freedom of speech. I don't have to agree with Kanye West (and, most of the time, I don't) but I support his right to say it. I don't have to desire to listen to Hillary Clinton but I support her right to represent what she believes in. I believe in the Constitution and I believe in the way that the founding fathers chose to set up a way to modify it. It's not that they never thought that rules or ideas would evolve. They knew that they would. What they ALSO knew was that it was necessary to put a chain of events into effect to modify the Constitution where needed....to create new amendments.
So you see, I support your right to say whatever it is that you desire about your political candidate or your religion (or lack thereof). On a personal level, however, I think you're acting like a real schmuck. On a managerial level, I can't understand why you think bullying people will cause anyone to jump over to your cause. It's as if you think that if you post enough negative bull crap about another candidate or enough memes on why God must not exist, you will somehow sway the opinions of those around you. It's either that or you're just trying to get a rise out of people. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, though.
Let me give you a little nugget to munch on here.... what if someone believed something different from you and that was okay? What if you could support Ted Cruz and she could support Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders and that was okay? What if you could believe that no God exists and someone else could believe in God and another could believe in Buddhist practices and that was okay too? What if we could be allowed to be individuals and still be "right" in our own practices? What if, instead of belittling, bullying and obnoxiously pushing people to believe what you believe, you could listen to their point of view and appreciate what it is that they love about their religion or their political candidate? What if it was okay for us to be different?
You see, the reason that generations before us made the unwritten rule was because they knew that what is happening right now would happen. Rather than turn against each other over our differences, they wanted to remain united as a nation and as friends/family. Our elders were so much more intelligent than our current generations and we just don't seem to see it. Our grandparents and great grandparents had more insight than every psychological study can give right now just by observing what was going on around them. It wasn't just an effort to be polite, it was an effort to not cause unnecessary arguments. It was the wisdom to know that sometimes it's not worth it to cause a hubbub. It was the knowledge that bullying never achieves true change.
With all of that said, if you're truly interested in "educating people" on your beliefs (be it political or religious), try something new. Listen to them explain why they like their candidate or why they believe what they believe religiously. Then DO NOT give them negative facts about their beliefs. Instead, tell them the positives of why you love your candidate or why you believe a particular religious belief. Instead of putting them down, give them something to think about. The expression "you get more flies with honey than vinegar" is definitely true. Use "honey." Let them decide on their own with facts that you provide to inspire them to educate themselves. They may not end up agreeing with you or changing their mind on what they think but they have the information now to look into things further.
In short, stop telling your kids not to bully in school and then bullying others with your beliefs. Variety is the spice of life and an overpowering spice just makes the dish taste like crap.
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