I've commented on this before and, I believe, I've even blogged about it in the past but when the moment arises, I reiterate. I have come to the conclusion, in the past few years, that I just need to flush my friends and support system for "crap" every once in awhile. It's kind of like cleaning out your septic system or your fireplace for the greater good. If you do the maintenance, it's not as likely to suffer BIG consequences in the long run. This post is going to cover ALOT of topics at once. Here goes....
What sparked part of this post was being un-friended (so to speak). Someone I considered to be a close friend for a couple of years now recently started a new pyramid scheme and wanted me to get involved. Knowing the history of the company and having known many people who've gotten involved, I knew it was just not for me. She contacted me 2 days before my surgery and then 10 days after to ask me to get involved. I ignored the contact regarding it and she basically has cut ties with me. My viewpoint? Well it sucks to find out someone wasn't your true friend to begin with BUT she obviously isn't worth my time if she's going to act that way. Like I said, sometimes you have to flush the septic system to get out the turds.
My other major spark is watching some of my loved ones go through their own crap. I have a feeling it's going to flush out their septic system of friends as well and I'm going to hate seeing them mourn the loss of their friends BUT in the long run, I know it will be healthier for all parties involved. For those that are inexperienced in this process, it's not much fun but when you do it regularly, you come to look forward to clearing the crap out of your life.
With all of that being said, I touch on a topic I'm quite passionate about....drama. This is where the rest of the post's title comes into play. Some people are born dramatic, some become that way through circumstance and some seem to absorb it through osmosis. I have a few opinions about this particular topic and I'm going to touch on a few of them now....
1. If someone says, "I'm usually not dramatic but...", it's a sure sign that they are. You either ARE dramatic or you're not. You're not going to act outside of your normal personality in a super-dramatic situation and magically BECOME dramatic because of the circumstances.
2. If you're a trouble maker or an instigator, you're the least likely person to take ownership for your actions. If it's embedded in your personality to be one of these things, it doesn't make you a bad person. It takes all kinds to make the world go round, you know? On the other hand, I can tell an instigator from a mile away by overly involved eye contact (almost creepy because it's so intense), inability to NOT discuss other people's lives, and never taking the blame for their own actions. There's no apologies from them and they can turn any situation on its head.
3. If you feel the need to rally the troops and get everyone on your side, it's a sure sign that you know you're wrong. If you felt confident in your stance, you wouldn't need an army to defend you. You wouldn't need to involve ANYONE else because it's not about them. If someone rallies the troops, spreads everyone else's dirty laundry and gets people to form an opinion of you based on rumors that they're displaying as fact, they're the one in the wrong...period.
4. People that are the most unforgiving are usually the most dramatic. Let me preface any further detail on this by saying that there is a difference between forgiving and moving on (with or without the person's involvement in your life) and not forgiving. I'm not saying that you have to forgive and continue to let someone take advantage of you. With that being said, the people that say things like, "I'll never forgive you" or "I'll never get over it" are usually the ones that are the most dramatic. Again, this isn't a matter of being bad...it's just a personality quirk I'm careful to watch out for.
5. If you've ever used any phrase similar to, "Well nobody's ever going to trust/like/talk to/be friends with you again after all of this", you're dramatic. This kind of goes back to number three. If you're using this phrase, you're obviously involving other people in your drama which means you're rallying the troops against someone else. Accept it, you're dramatic.
6. If you're spending all of your time focusing your attention on every little detail of your argument/debate for months after it happened, you're being dramatic. If you can't even focus your attention on your own life, you're way too close to the situation and you're being dramatic. Understandably, it can take over your life for a little while because you're dealing with the emotions but if you're still focusing your attention on it constantly months after it happened, you're being dramatic.
7. If you use your situation as a catapult to find ways to destroy someone's reputation or life, you're dramatic (and, may I add, an a**hole). Again, this sort of goes back to number three. If you are intentionally whispering in the corners and trying to make someone's life miserable, you're being dramatic. I think that everyone THINKS these vengeful thoughts once in awhile (especially in the heat of the moment) but to actually ACT on them is dramatic.
8. If you pick someone apart constantly over every little thing they do, you're being dramatic. Obviously and clearly this says more about YOU than about THEM. You're acting self-conscious and overly dramatic if their walking into a room draws criticism from you.
9. If you feel the need to storm out of the room, slam a door, or break something in ever argument, you're dramatic. Feeling the need to act with flourish on a comment (even in anger) to make your point is a dramatic act. Doing it once in awhile is, in my opinion, a heat of the moment issue. Doing it in every argument with someone is dramatic.
10. If you constantly make the situational molehill into a mountain, you're dramatic. Yes, everyone's experience of a situation is different and personal but if you're taking your hangnail and making it into a surgical scar, you're being dramatic. Sometimes a situation is just not that big of a deal and doing this occasionally is acceptable. If you're doing it on a daily/weekly basis, it's dramatic.
In closing, I'd like to say that I also feel like "karma" is an important factor in all of this. A friend of mine reiterated to me what I say frequently amongst friends: "If they'll do it WITH you, they'll do it TO you." It's definitely true in every circumstance. It's an important part of reaping what you sow. You get what you give....and you get the awful stuff you do to others back in spades. Would I like to be the driver of the karma bus the day that some of these people get their godsmack? Yes! Am I still going to feel bad for them when they have to deal with adversity? Yes. That's what separates the buttholes from the people living their lives, compassion and ability to realize that you're not the center of the universe. Karma will come back to get every single person at some point in time. It's your choice whether it's good or bad.
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