He's NOT Scatterbrained

I recently spoke with some moms of children living with ADHD and was actually a bit disturbed at their descriptions of their children.  As a parent of a child with ADD (mild hyperactivity) and a child with ADHD and SPD, I kind of have some opinions on things.  I understand and support that people have different parenting approaches but the descriptions really bugged me.  So here are a few little nuggets of information from the perspective of an ADHD/SPD parent....

1.  STOP expecting your child to behave "normally."  First off, normal is relative and children without diagnoses are quirky too.  Your child's brain works differently than some other kids.  Imagine sitting on your computer and opening about 55 windows at the same time.  Your computer would have to work extra hard to even "focus" on one window because there's so much going on in the background.  THAT is what the mind of an ADHD child is like.  Now imagine that every time you opened a window on the computer, your keyboard shocked you or sent a skunk odor or made an airhorn noise but you never knew which one it'd be.  That's what Sensory Processing children live with.  If all of that was going on in your brain, would you remember every little thing told to you.  Doubtful!

2.  Your child is NOT scatterbrained or ditzy.  Stop using negative terminology like that.  It's one thing to say they're in their own little world.  They are.  That doesn't sound negative, for the most part.  It's another thing to label them as scatterbrained, ditzy, or lacking common sense.  Refer back to #1.

3.  While medication is a solution for some people, it is not always the solution for everyone.  Don't judge a parent's approach until you live their daily life.  I don't medicate my children but I know and support people that make that choice for the well being of their child.  Some choose herbal or dietary changes.  Some, like me, focus on dietary and behavior modification.  It's a matter of choice and children's individual needs.  With that being said, I don't think that piling on medication on medication on medication is going to help.  Adding more pills won't make your child "normal." 

4.  And FINALLY, punishing your child for "not remembering" or "getting off task" won't help.  Period.  Positive reinforcement is the only solution here.  You have to keep trying to find what HELPS them to more efficiently focus on the task at hand.  Different kids, different approaches but punishing and yelling for them forgetting things or getting off task will only make things worse because now you're making them feel inferior and stupid.

I could go on for days but this really grinds my gears.  Stop treating your children as if they're not living up to your standards.  They're not the asshole here.  You are. *Rant over*