There is a viral video circulating currently with a Dad trying to change his baby's diaper and gagging from the odor to the point of vomiting. Honestly, I couldn't make it through it because watching him gag actually makes me gag more than ANY diaper I've ever changed. It occurs to me that people seem to get a kick out of making fun of dads being incredibly inept. They seem to get a giggle from watching men struggle to deal with things like contraction-level pain, changing diapers, trying to manage more than one child and so on. The common theme? A lot of these men appear to be clueless when it comes to raising children. Here's the reality, in my opinion....
Realistically, yes, there are clueless men trying to parent. Then again, consider how many clueless women there are too. In fact, aren't we all just a LITTLE clueless in how to handle our kids sometimes. How much experience you have combined with how much you CHOOSE to learn about kids ultimately affects how clueless you are about your kids. Are there men that aren't interested to learn? Absolutely. Are there women that do the same? For sure. Regardless, not all men are clueless. In fact, they are actually pretty on top of things most of the time.
A whole lot of women like to think of men as stunted when it comes to parenting because dads aren't doing things the way that moms would do it. There's a reason for that and, put bluntly and realistically, it hangs between their legs. Men are men and women are women. They think differently because that's how they were created. They do things different because they think differently. And ladies, even if you consider me a traitor to the gender, just because they're doing it differently doesn't mean it's not right. He may take more or fewer steps to do something than you would but it still gets done. They're not stunted; they're just approaching it differently.
Most of these same women seem to think it's funny to make jokes about men being clueless when it comes to being dads because it makes them feel better as a mom. It stems back to the theory that they need to put someone else down in order to feel better. It's not always with a mean spirit. In fact, a lot of these women are just feeling self conscious and looking for a way to feel better. With that being said, the direct effect of doing this is that men feel like crap and don't want to help....and then we get mad that they're not helping. Vicious circle.
I, personally, have seen dads juggle things just as well as, if not better in some cases, than moms. They can braid little Susie's hair, pick out clothes for school and get their lunches packed just as well as moms. Frankly, I love seeing dads be involved. I think it's a really great concept for kids to understand that mom may do things this way and dad may do it that way but it always gets done. Then again, I'm an advocate for "don't teach them WHAT to think; teach them HOW to think."
I guess what it all comes down to is this:
In the country, nowadays, there are a whole lot of divorced families with dads that are parenting on their own when their kids are with them. There are a lot of families where the mom works and the dad stays at home. There are a lot of families where both parents work but the dad is incredibly involved. These men are not supporting characters and their kids are benefiting from learning that Dads are on top of things too. I'm all for some harmless laughs but let's not forget, when we're watching, that these men may gag when they change the diaper but they're still changing it. Let's give the involved dads in this world a hand and let them know they're appreciated.
Side note: Fellas, I DO think the labor pain video is funny. Don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of things men have to deal with that women don't but the simulation of labor pain video nails it. You can "get it" that we're in pain when we're in labor but watching someone truly feel it for the first time is gratifying to some small degree.
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